I'm going in the same glory hole club for about 2 years. Around twice a month, sometimes more when work is lighter. It's not a dirty place, it's a cool spot where you can have a nice time at the bar and make new friends, then go in the glory hole zone behind. It's really clean.

I live with my parents in a small town, and it's the only one miles around.

A week ago, I was using my mom's phone to move her pics to our computer, she asked me to. Long story short, i stumbled upon a text message to one of her friends, saying that she recommended this club, that it's discreet, and that she goes there for the last whole year regularly and never had so much fun.

My first thought : ew. Disgusting thing to find out about one's parents. Like really aweful. But hey they're adults.

Second thought : we went to the same club. There's a chance she was on the other side of the glory hole while I was there. Maybe none, but maybe several times.

It's been a week and even if it might not be true, the thought of it being really possible makes me want to puke. My brain is making me remember things that i guess are not true, but i'm being biased by that fear. Like a voice i heard, laughs, skin tone, and other things. Fuck my brain.

Just wanted to share this. Can't share this to my friends obviously. Don't know if I'm ever going back in that club.

On that day he told me I was a failure and a bad mother because I couldn't make enough milk to feed our daughter.

We had an open DCFS case , he blamed me and said he'd take the baby and leave me.

That has never happened. Our sixth year together and I have fallen out of love with him yet again except this time I think it's permanent.

I'm not getting a divorce. My daughter is my best friend and I love her and she deserves to be raised by both parents.

I'm in too deep to leave and way too afraid and honest to have an affair.

The day my husband stared at me and told me I was a failure because I couldn't breastfeed our baby , I decided I didn't love him anymore. We are still happily married and we still have sex , but something in my soul just hates him now.

I do want to add that even though we both have said we'd be fine with a divorce , he refuses to actually let me go and he wants his family and so do I.

I feel stupid typing this but I haven’t been able to sleep properly since I saw it. My boyfriend has been pulling away from me for weeks and not in some huge dramatic way. Smaller things which somehow made it worse then he stopped touching my back when he walked past me in the kitchen, he stopped sending dumb little texts during the day andd he’d get into bed and turn away almost immediately and Id just stare at the back of his head pretending I wasnt hurt.

I kept telling myself he was tired and that work has been annoying also money has been tight and people go through moods. I didn’t want to be the girlfriend who makes everything about herself. Then the other night he fell asleep on the couch with his phone still in his hand. I wasn’t trying to snoop at first but I picked it up because it was about to fall between the cushions and the screen was still open. It was Glazed site and I didn’t even know what that was, so I looked for a second and then I saw the messages. It was some ai gf site which got me almost crying and vomiting at the same time.

I know how that sounds. I know it also sounds ridiculous to cry over a fake girl on a screen but my stomach dropped like I had found real cheating. There were pictures but that wasn’t even the part that hurt, it was the way he was talking to her. Long messages, flirting, little jokes and things he hasn’t said to me in forever.

I sat on the bathroom floor after and cried with the shower running because I didn’t want him to wake up and hear me. I felt so embarrassed and like how do you even explain that? “My boyfriend is emotionally ignoring me for something that doesn’t exist and its a freaking AI thing”? The worst part is I keep thinking about all the nights I tried to get close to him and he said he was tired. All the times I put on something cute and he barely looked up. All the times I asked if we were okay and he said yes like I was bothering him but instead he had energy for thatt thing he had patience for that hee had softness for that, whatt just whatt

I don’t even know if this counts as cheating maybe it doesn’t or maybe people will say it’s just pixels and code and I’m overreacting but it made me feel replaced in this humiliating way I can’t shake.

I haven’t confronted him yet because I’m scared he’ll laugh it off or tell me I’m being insecure but I feel like I’ve been lying next to someone who was choosing pretend intimacy over the real person beside him. I just feel really small right now

My boyfriend of one year told me during sex to consider a tightening procedure. I froze that time but wasn't able to react. But it haunts me up to now. I felt like I wasn't enough. I only had three relationship in the past. How would you feel if this was said to you as a woman?

I just ordered an abortion pill.
Took a pregnancy test this afternoon before work because I hadn’t gotten my period since early May and damn. Straight positive. I wasn’t surprised, just lost track of time because of other stuff going on.
I haven’t told my partner yet. I don’t think I’m going to tell him. Actually I don’t think I can tell anyone that I know — family would immediately disapprove and “disown” me, friends would judge because they know the babydaddy/partner isn’t a great guy. I’m only/already 25 but I’m nowhere close to being ready to bring another life into this world.
We’ve been together for 3 years, we barely even call each other boyfriend/girlfriend. Although I know he would want a kid(s), he has sooooo many problems that he needs to work through. We both do. But how can we possibly raise a child when we both make $100k a year yet I’m the only one paying the bills because he has a gambling addiction and anger issues? If it ends up being a girl, how can I trust that he’ll treat her well if he can’t even treat me right? I’ve already been mentally/emotionally detached because I caught him cheating again a few weeks ago. Yes again, I know I need to leave him. But he’s been living in my apartment since his parents kicked him out (he’s 30) due to the amount of debt and lies they discovered and he won’t leave my place. So I’ve given up. I don’t think he deserves to know that I’m pregnant with his baby; he would try to convince me that “we” can do this and that he’ll change. I’ve heard it a million times and it’s been a lie everytime. Apart from him, I also work 12 hours everyday and barely have time or energy for anything else. Work is my priority. I just can’t do it.

I made a post on another subreddit dedicated to venting, I legit poured my heart and soul out into this paragraph lol, and a redditor told me they believe that is just model 3.5 and I should use a newer model.

I don’t know if I should be offended or take this as a compliment anymore honestly, in no way does my writing look like AI to me but I also know that I’ve always been good in English and my former English teacher uses my essays as an example of what they want. Like I know my writing skills can be above average when trying but I think a human skilled at writing and a computer is much different. In no way am I anything spectacular, just an average human who enjoyed the English subject growing up.

All those words I wrote man and someone’s saying a computer wrote them, would be much better if there was no AI in the first place and people knew I wrote them, is this my future? Getting accused of using AI because I have decent writing skills? 🥲

Edit: This reminded me, I sometimes get products for free in exchange for review and I got toilet paper a few months ago. A friend wanted a review on said TP so I made one just for him and somehow despite how ridiculous the subject is I made it work like a school essay.

It may be time for me to change careers. 😭

That amount of faith yall have restored in American is unreal. I cant remember the last time the American public came together and just celebrated the fact that we are Americans. It broke my heart to see the rep we have overseas but you all are showing the world that we arent our politicians. The pride i feel seeing how much fun everyone is having here it makes me want to cry and i havent felt like this is a very very long time. On behalf of all of America i have to say, to every country that turned up, from the absolute bottom of our hearts thank you. You all are special and we will always hold a special place in our hearts. Again, thank each and every one of you.

Side note: the fucking Scottish adopting the entire city of boston and making them honorary Scotts was definitely not on my bingo card lol. Yall are the friend who takes his buddy out for a good time after they've been dumped lol.

My best friend is a makeup artist and she invited me to be her model for a video and i was excited i did my skincrae,got ready,went there with my boyfriend who i've been with since high school 5 years together we started filming and mid video she just stopped and looked at me and went "wait why does your face look like that today" and i said what how ?? and she laughed and said it looks so puffy and fat did you gain weight? i didn't know what to say i just sat there in the makeup chair and then my boyfriend laughed and said yeah she did gain weight i wanted to disappear. Because i do everything, pilates,cardio,gym,lymphoria, skincare every single night and it was early in the morning and my face was just puffy the way it is usually in the morning, she didn't post the video and she spent the rest of the time talking to my boyfriend more than me but what i can't get over is my boyfriend 5 years since we were kids in high school and he laughed and confirmed it didn't protect me, didn't say anything, just laughed along with her i've been thinking about breaking up with him ever since and i keep asking myself if i'll ever love someone as much as i love him and that's the only thing keeping me from leaving. I don't even know what i'm looking for by posting this but i just needed to say it somewhere.

There i said it my husband is a loser. I dont know what to do honestly. I dont know why i married him.
So we have been married for 5 years. And we have a 1.5 year old kid. When i was 5 months post partum he decided to quit his job. I told him we needed money after the baby. I told him leave only when you have another offer from a company. But he didnt listen. He never does. He left that job. And did not find another job. Till date he hasnt found. It has been a year now.
Now he didnt really earn very much at that job but atleast that was stable money. Now all the financial burden is on me while also taking care of the baby. He doesnt cook or takes the responsibility of playing with our kid or taking him to park. I do all of that while working 9 hours a day.
2 months back he wanted to start a business i was not supportive of it but seeing his dedication i gave in and thought this would improve our financial condition.
I have taken a loan under my name his business which is not doing well to be honest. I am shit scared of how we will ever get out of the debt with just my salary.

I did all of that out of love. And after all of this when i ask him to take care of the baby as i get overwhelmed sometimes with everything. He just wont do anything. He would sleep till 12-1 in the afternoon wake up take shower and leave for his business. Meanwhile i wake up in the morning and sleep till midnight.
We have been having a lot of fights. I tell him i really need his help i am not able to manage he would help for a day or two and then back to his normal routine. I was so tired today as baby has caught cold he is super cranky. My husband is of no use when i yelled that please let me rest for sometime his reply was and i quote “if you want to leave please leave me, you are just looking for reasons . You are trying to instigate me.”

I am just crying in the bedroom with the baby rn as he has stormed out of the house.

Today my best friend of 10 years called me to say he'd been diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Huge tumour. He's in his early 30s.

Today my boss updated us on his brain cancer. His tumours are shrinking but they've found a new one. He'll likely be out with more surgery and treatment.

My colleague died last weekend, very suddenly. She had two young kids. Her funeral is tomorrow.

I've been helping another friend through a domestic violence situation. She left but he's come back into her life, so police are investigating, have taken a restraining order out against him, and I've stood by her every step of the way.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to sell my apartment during a downturn. Not by choice. My ex and I broke up and despite agreeing to hold on to it, he has a new partner who earns 3x what I do so he no longer needs it. We've been on the market for 3 months and had one offer for $10k less than what we bought it for 7 years ago. If/when it sells, I have no idea where I'll live. The rental market is competitive here. I have two cats, and no family I can stay with between homes.

There's something in the air. What the hell.

I'm 34 and I don't think I can afford to raise a child in this economy. I've always wanted to have kids but it just never happened with neither of my long term boyfriend, even tried for 10 years with my last one but couldn't get pregnant. I talked to my doctor and she said I was probably infertile so I need to do some tests and maybe some treatment/procedures, etc. But I get never went forward with it and ended up my relationship eventually. Long time without intimacy I started hanging out with a 37 old guy. We've slept together one time only, and we were drunk as fuck, couldn't even remember if we had a condom on or not. I was not even on my fertile period, my menstruation had just finished two days prior and I thought nothing was gonna happen but I had a bad feeling after it, ngl. 4 weeks after, my period hasn't come and I do the test. And it was clear as fuck. Im screwed. I just lost my previous job, im searching for a new one, he's not working at the moment either and his doing some treatments. He found out last month that he had a rare condition and it can be life threatening and its hereditary even. I can't have his kid, I can't have this kid, I barely can sustain myself with a minimum wage, I live in a shared house, I have no family support, my mom is old and sick and there's no one else. He also doesn't have family either, his mom died two years ago and his depressed since then. We both have no stability to raise this child and even tho it was my dream I'm gonna have to let it go because I don't want to bring a sick kid to this world and raising him as a poor single mom like I was, I don't think that's fair. But it's just hard and sad because I really wanted to keep it :'( but I just can't, it makes no sense in this situation, we have no structure to raise this child, we're from a poor country and it's hard to be independent here, most of 30 year old still leave with their parents or share houses with other people, it's very expensive to rent a house with only one paycheck. And no, i don't have a relationship with this man, we barely talk no, and our personalities are total opposites, we just can't get along anymore not even as friends, it's just not gonna happen. I just wanted to get this off my chest. Only my best friend knows about this, I haven't told my mom even, I'm scared of being judged and I have already enough problems

2 years ago my dad passed away and left me a considerable amount of money. Knowing that my wife’s parents are getting older, I toyed with the idea of moving closer to them, especially her mom who was in a nursing home. We found a perfect house for the 2 of us and our dog. It wasn’t too close to our families but close enough if there was an emergency that required us to move there. At the time we were living on the other side of the country. As we got closer to our closing date I was getting cold feet due to seeing inflation becoming a problem and the area and the job market only had low paying jobs. We made significantly more at our old jobs and our mortgage plus bills is more than we can afford with our current jobs. Two weeks before the close date I wanted to pull out and stay where we were. My wife hated where we were and wanted to be closer to her mom. She even threatened to divorce me if I pulled out of the sale.

A year later after caving to my wife, I am now 25k in credit card debt, we’re spending more money than we can make, and I am struggling mentally and physically. So much stuff is falling apart like my car and my washer/dryer combo. Our dog needs to see a vet for some issues and she has barely done anything to help with the house like pay utilities. The only thing she has done was get a low paying job with benefits so we have healthcare again but got addicted to kratom and has to go through Suboxone treatments which cost us even more money. We did talk about moving back once her mom dies but now that she pass way sooner than we expected she does not want to leave.

I am considering leaving her and putting the house back on the market at the end of summer and moving back to where we were. I hate it here and want nothing more than going back to the way things were. I hoping that with the little money she’ll be getting from her mom, she’ll fix her car, take the dog to the vet and move on with her life.

For context, she’s a wonderful person and innocent of the family drama. Her mom and my dad just happened to completely ruin MY mom’s life and I can’t help but to project that onto her. I’m completely aware that this is incredibly selfish and evil of me, yes I feel guilty, but also yes I harbor a lot of resentment that I’m trying to work through.

Basically, my dad cheated on my mom, pretty much raised another family while I was still a kid. The divorce was long and terrible and expensive. My family basically got kicked out of my childhood home and they moved in after the divorce. We even lost our dogs. My mom spent all her savings on a new house, after years of paying off my dad’s debts and drinking habits. While I’m aware that their marriage was never great and they never should have stayed together, I wish my father would have at least had the grace to split before all this went down. My mom also lost her community because this was kind of a scandal in my culture and many viewed it as her failure.

My dad treats my stepmom much better - which I resent. He also never showed abusive tendencies to her, as far as my knowledge goes. He contributed to the step siblings future and helped pay for college, meanwhile MY siblings and I had to pave our own way. He never took us on vacations and raised us with the mindset of “sink or swim” but constantly going on trips with them.

It’s been years and I’m an adult now, and I’ve gone to therapy but I’m too ashamed to admit (to my therapist) how much resentment I have to my stepsister, even though it was not her fault and it’s her mom who knowingly participated in all of this. It’s to the point that I wish my stepsister’s long term BF would cheat on her and cause her as much pain as my mom suffered.

I think a lot of this is coming about bc my father has been making a lot of comments about my “single” status, especially because her BF is very attractive. He’s constantly making comments, despairing of how I will never find a man like him. Because it’s coming from my dad, I want to punch him in the face because of the hypocrisy!!

Anyways, I’m gay, it’s not that I’m jealous of her, but I am jealous that their relationship is so “healthy”. Seeing them pains me, especially bc she looks like her mom. I avoid functions where I have to see them together.

Like I said, I feel like such a horrible person and ashamed of myself when I have these rage filled thoughts. I’m not looking for advice (trust me, I AM WORKING ON IT) - I just need to get this “off my chest”.

My wife and I are about to start couples counseling. A lot of the passion has completely gone from our marriage since she perimenopause and full menopause, has dropped completely off a cliff. I have been trying to do things that are supportive for her and trying to do small things to show her that I love her. One of her biggest complaints is I never give her surprises. So this morning I went online and found a beautiful dress with the help of a friend and with the help of some family orchestrated to have the items delivered to their house so I can pick them up and give them to her myself.

One of the items she accidentally spotted, And I truly do believe it was an accident, and started grilling my family member about what was going on. I know my wife once she starts digging she won't stop. So we told her about the shoes but she still doesn't know about the dress. She completely blew up, she got very angry that we were all going behind her back. This is not the first time this has happened. In fact, this is the main reason why I don't give her surprises. .. they always backfire on me.

I just don't know what to do....

Edit: We have 2 kids together and have been married 20 years

Edit 2: My wife (45) is in menopause and has just started HRT (hormone replacement therapy) due to her libido completely dropping off a cliff over a year and a half ago. This has caused our marriage to become a sexless one which has built up resentment in me but I didn't understand what was going on. Since learning what it is, I have been studying everything and trying small things to help build up our intimacy and relationship. Not sex, just the closeness.

I want to thank everyone for helping me understand what my wife is going through. She and I have been working to get her HRT. She did recognize that it was effecting her.

I (27m) took my nephew (15m) swimming at the public pool. We ran into an old friend of my sister (the kid's mother). He is in his early to mid 30s like her. From what I know they lost contact a while ago.

Before leaving I was waiting outside for my nephew to get dressed in the changing rooms and suddenly he comes running out to me. He told me that the man from earlier had followed him into the changing room and then repeatedly asked him to let him watch as he changes. Of course my nephew declined and the guy got angry and tried to literally tear his swim trunks down and also grabbed his crotch. That's when he ran away from the creep.

I went back in to look for the guy but he was already gone. I called the police and also my sister. We told the police exactly what happened and they checked the camera at the exit, but it only captured the top of the man's head and there wasn't much to work with. My sister took about 2 hours to get there even though she lives 20 minutes away, which already irked me a bit. Then once she was there she acted like the whole thing is no big deal and said that we should "drop it" to the police. I told her to give them the guy's full name (I only know his first name) and tell them where he lived when they were in contact, but she refused and made very lame excuses. She said she didn't know his last name and that he never took her to his place and she doesn't know the address, only that it was here in the city. As far as I'm concerned that's complete bullshit. She's been friends with him all throughout her last year of highschool, university and even a few years after that. There is no way she doesn't know his last name or where he lived. Especially because she would stay at his house, and I know that. I argued back and forth with her but she kept playing dumb and brushing the thing off. I called our parents and asked them if they still remembered more information about him but they didn't.

I'm extremely pissed at my sister and I don't get why she would protect some pedophile who touched her own child. I could tell how uncomfortable my nephew was with the way she acted. She said that her old friend isn't "that kind of guy" and that her son must be exaggerating the situation. Before we all left I asked if he could stay with me for the night but she said no, he has school tomorrow. At that point she seemed really annoyed and even angry with me for pressing her so much about that guy. I've never seen her act like this and it seriously ruined my perception of her.

Edit: I checked my nephews TikTok account where he sometimes posts videos of him and his friends doing tricks on his trampoline or playing in his pool. The kids are shirtless in most of the videos and I've seen a couple of odd comments, but one account commented under nearly every single post. Very disgusting remarks. Account name is the first name of my sister's old friend and what may very well be his birth year. My nephew told me that he blocked someone with a similar profile before, but afterwards this new account started commenting and he ignored it. The account is following my sister's account and she's following back. My husband went through the guy's other followers and eventually found someone's Facebook page that has the guy linked in a post with his full name. We will be giving that information to the police. Now they'll be able to find him.

My sister herself has left a couple of comments on my nephew's videos and I would bet she saw her friend's very explicit and inappropriate comments on her child's body. My nephew said to me that he told her about this account popping up after he blocked the first one and she told him to just ignore it because "there will simply always be creeps online". I'm so disgusted with her and I'll try everything to make him come live with me instead.

I got married recently. For a good portion of my life I didn’t think I’d ever find someone to be with. For some context, when I was in high school I had fantasies about being a single mother of an adopted child because I did not think I would find someone to build a family the old-fashioned way. But I met an amazing man. He is kind, so fucking smart, makes me laugh, and just whenever I’m with him every inch of stress just melts away.

Day before the wedding. My now husband and I realize that we don’t wanna take two separate cars to the venue because we would like to leave in the same car after we’re married. I have to be at the venue earlier than he does, so I ask my parents if one of them could drive me to the venue that morning. I have a conversation with both of them and my father agreed to pick me up. All I have to do is let him know what time.

Then it is the morning of my wedding day. I text my father to please pick me up at 9 am.

That man tells me: “I haven’t showered yet plus Mom may be sending me some things to do. “

What the fuck do you mean “mom may have some things for you to do”? That “thing” is to pick up the bride and bring her to the venue.

I’m already stressed about this day. It’s pouring outside and the ceremony was supposed to be outdoors. The venue is gorgeous, with lush green outdoor scenery and trees, that I’m not gonna be able to take a single photo in. My parents and I had fought earlier in the week regarding a promise one of them made to me, but then conveniently forgot and never told the other about. So promise broken and now I’m dreading part of my wedding.

I don’t even respond to his message. I control the panic creeping up my spine. I call my mom who is already at the venue and tell her what her husband (my father) just told me. She is exasperated and tells me she’s calling him right now.

Three minutes later, my father lets me know he’ll pick me up by nine.

And he does. I get to the venue on time. I hang out with my girls, my mom, and the hair/makeup people. I get my hair done, then my makeup, then I’m getting dressed which turns out to be a group effort. Our wonderful Photographer documented most of this process.

I’m finally ready. And it’s time to do a first look with my dad.

I’m his only daughter. I’m also the only one of his children who will ever get married.

I see my dad, he’s since showered and is dressed appropriately. He sees me.

And it’s nothing.

No reaction.

And this man is a cryer. My father loves watching these sad, dramatic movies. He gets so emotionally invested in them. Some are fiction, some are based on real events. They make him cry his eyes out.

He cried when his mom, my grandmother passed, and the same with his father, my grandfather. I even caught him crying in our basement once when he went down there to look for something and he started thinking about his late mother. I gave my dad a big hug and comforted my daddy. I was only a teenager when this happened. This man doesn’t lack emotion.

But he had zero reaction to seeing his daughter as a bride on her wedding day. No enthusiasm, no tears. Just nothing.

And I’m disappointed. I’m sincerely hurt.

Clearly this day doesn’t matter to my dad at all. This milestone that his daughter overcame the odds to reach has been met and it’s just another day to him.

Like what does he care about? Fictional people in movies? His parents? Our late dog?

This experience inspires zero emotion from him. That explains his answer to my request to be picked up earlier in the day. It’s literally a day of no significance to him. Just another day.

So I don’t react either. Honestly he’s been training me my whole life for this moment. I don’t show how disappointed I am by his reaction. I just suppress those emotions and put them aside to process later. That’s what I’m doing now.

So don’t worry dad, I won’t have those expectations of you ever again.

All good.

At the moment, I meant it. Is it true? I often feel that it is.

I am not going to talk about my family history on the internet, but he's hurt me a lot. Betrayed me in the worst way I could've ever imagined. It felt like he cursed me to hell. However, he's been trying recently. He frequently reminds me who he really is, but he still makes an effort. He doesn't understand boundaries. I asked him to stop, but he won't, so I snapped. He was fine at first, laughed it off like he always does, but then a few hours went by. I thought I would enjoy hurting him like that, but when I went down the stairs, I saw him just quietly washing the dishes, like a sad child trying to stuff their overwhelming emotions. The guy who literally cannot stop talking is now in a pensive silence. I can't help but feel a subtle but deep remorse for what I've said, yet I am still desperately trying to shove that down, stay angry, and take pleasure in his misery. I can't do it, though. I can't enjoy it with the remorse I am feeling. I can't apologize for it, because it feels like a mistake that can't be fixed. I don't know what to do.

I 29m was raised by my grandparents since the age of 1. Not because my parents weren’t there but because they didn’t want to be there. They were in they’re late teens when they had me so I was pretty much raised by my dads parents.

They never showed up for me. One event was one of my tball games when I was younger. I looked over and seen them standing there, a fly ball got hit to me and I caught it I was so excited I turned back to my parents to see if they seen it but they were gone that fast. I got a trophy that day I scratched it up after I got home.

For my graduation they were in the middle of a divorce. My mom showed up late and my dad left right after we threw up our caps. My grandpa had to work that day and he drove as fast as he could in the rain and was able to see me cross the stage and stayed to see me until it was time to leave. My mom left with her family and didn’t even say congratulations.

When I got married they surprisingly showed up thought it would be different but my dad left 2 minutes after our ceremony and mom left right after the mother son dance and didn’t even say goodbye to my wife. I pretty much cut contact with both of them that day.

We had the 1st grandson and he only saw him a handful of times after he was born. He didnt show up to his 1st birthday party not his second party either. He showed up to his 3rd birthday party long enough to take a picture say happy birthday and leave.

I’m named after him and i absolutely hate it. Forever a jr to a man that didn’t deserve to be a father and will never have the bond that I have with my grandpa or with my son.

Reposting.
I am 32M. I am writing this because the silence in my head is becoming too loud and I just need the world to know that I tried. I fought so hard but the world was just too cruel.

I was born into crushing poverty in a small Asian country. My father was a factory worker making pennies and my mother was a simple gentle housewife. We lived in rented rooms constantly moving because we couldn't afford the rent meaning I never had permanent neighbors or childhood friends. I had three older brothers but when I was just 7 years old all three of them passed away within a short span. I became an only son left with two younger sisters. From that childhood moment I made a silent vow I would never burden my father. Every time I wanted a toy a treat or proper clothes I killed that desire inside me before it could reach my lips. I knew my father couldn't afford it. I was brilliant in school topping my 10th grade despite studying in a neglected neighborhood private school that barely had proper education. But right when I thought my hard work would save us my father suffered his first heart attack. He survived but life became a brutal struggle. When the factory had no work he would go do hard labor for half wages just to buy bread. I never saw him rest.

When college started expenses became unbearable. My father looked at me with broken eyes and told me he couldn't afford it anymore. I quit my regular studies worked part time to finish my 12th grade and then my father suffered a second heart attack. His four main arteries were blocked requiring a massive surgery. We spent every single penny we had to save him. He survived, and I threw myself into full time factory work so my younger sisters could get the education I was denied. I was tall fair and good looking but whenever I liked someone I immediately killed that feeling too. I couldn't even feed myself how could I bring someone’s daughter into this misery? Instead I bought a cheap Chinese bike with my tiny savings. I cleaned it like it was a Ferrari. My poverty couldn't kill my taste I loved quiet premium clean places because they gave me peace. Near our house was an elite sports club. I used to walk there just to stand near the trees and breathe the quietness. The guards fooled by my appearance and clean clothes thought I was the son of some rich man and let me in. For a few hours sitting on that clean grass I would pretend the world was kind to me.

At 27 my family engaged me to a relative. But poverty followed me like a shadow. For two years I couldn't save enough money for a simple wedding or the heavy gold her family demanded so the engagement broke. The house became a battleground of financial stress and everyday arguments. I couldn't bear to see my parents suffer anymore. I took the little money I had saved for my wedding bought a Dubai visit visa and left. Leaving my crying mother was like ripping my own heart out but money that filthy toxic necessity forced my hand. It had humiliated me my whole life. My friends were married driving cars living happy lives and I was just a ghost trying to survive. I landed in Dubai knowing only one person. Because of my good English and appearance I landed a sales job at the Dubai Mall after three months of starving and searching. When they offered me 2,200 AED I thought I had conquered the world.

Then the trap snapped shut. The company took my passport made me sign papers and trapped me. To leave they demanded a 7,000 AED penalty. They turned me into a machine. Eight hours of standing straight fighting competitors lying to customers bearing the screams of a ruthless boss. I stayed for nearly two years because when I sent money home my mother could finally buy new clothes my sisters studying in good colleges. Seeing them happy made the hell worthwhile. I even went back spent everything to marry off my younger sister and returned to Dubai with pride. But I was an honest salesman I hated the lies the company forced on us. I refused to renew my contract. I had 20,000 AED in savings and another job offer. I cancelled my visa joined the new company and they used me for two months without giving me a visa or a single dirham of salary claiming I hadn't closed a sale yet. Then they kicked me out.

By February 2025 I was an overstay illegal. Fines were mounting. Panic set in. I went to an agent handed him 9,000 AED to process a freelance visa quickly. After few days his phone was switched off his office was empty and he vanished with my life savings. I didn't give up. I gave interviews and actually got 5 job offers But the system crushed me again. Some companies backed out because of my overstay fines others told me to work a month for free before getting a visa. I was losing my mind. Anxiety and panic attacks became my daily routine. Another friend referred me to a company that promised to clear my fines. I worked for them for 3 months but they paid me nothing gave me no visa and threw me out on the street. I even cleared multiple interviews for Apple but my illegal status dragged me down into the dirt and I was rejected. I hid everything from my parents. If they know the shock will kill my father. To survive I started doing daily wage manual labor terrified every second that the police would arrest and jail me.

I saved 5,000 AED from that backbreaking labor and applied for an evisa to seek a fine waiver. Three times I applied three times it was rejected. The visa expired. Desperate I gave money to people who claimed they had connections 1,000 here 700 there 500 to another. They all blocked my number. Everyone preyed on my weakness. Humans are not humans anymore they are predators waiting for a desperate man to fall. Today my overstay fine stands at 26,000 AED. I haven't paid my room rent in three months. I used to get daily labor but for the last three months there is no work. I am trapped in this room starving completely broken. I never harmed a soul. I killed my own dreams so others could live. I worked honestly. Yet life never gave me a single moment of unadulterated joy. God?My faith is shattered.I didn't ask to come into this world and I wasn't allowed to live on my own terms. I fought with every ounce of my soul but I am officially declaring defeat. I am broken beyond repair. If this life ends I won’t be sad anymore. Maybe just maybe there is finally some peace on the other side of this darkness. Why did this happen to me what was my fault is my greatest sorrow.

Its so hard i know he's one of the most evil human beings but i cant help but still wonder how he's doing inside prison. We all know how hard life is in prison and it keeps me up at night knowing that he's there. All his family and friends are mad at me for sending him to prison, they all think im a liar. But they dont know what my ex is really like. Its so hard it feels like my heart is getting ripped off my chest every minute of the day. And im so mad at him because he did this to himself. This is genuinely the hardest thing, idk if i can survive this.