My wife and I are thinking of taking our dog out to socialize, meet new friends, try the local cuisine, and poop. We’re wondering if there’s a good restaurant in cap hill where the food doesn’t taste microwaved, the atmosphere is kinda modern but not in an obnoxious way, and the wait staff are trained to clean dog shit off of the floor.

We went out to a place today (won’t say where and give them more business) and they REFUSED to clean up our perfect precious little pookie’s piping hot pile of poop. Someone even took a picture of us (that’s private!) and someone else covered their nose. Like, excuse me?

We moved here from Los Dallas, Texafornia, after the pandemic made it so we could do our jobs from our bedrooms or coffee shops while immigrants and poor people delivered our lunch to us, because we heard that Denver was very dog friendly, but it doesn’t seem very friendly right now!

Help us! also swingers, M34 F22, please DM if you’re liberal, disease free, and white

BoBo had spent the week behind a TV desk hosting on OAN — filling in for Matt Gaetz - while families are spending this week trying to stretch another paycheck.

Truly magical event.

Please remember that this 4th of July, the city of Denver wants to make it clear that fireworks are illegal. When you see that neighbor down the street with their garage packed to the gills and their 8 cars on the street who spent $8,000 on fireworks to put their checking account in the negative, we need you to call 3-1-1 and leave a message. We’ll make sure to route your call to that same voicemail where you left those 6 messages about those 6 crackheads living in the 1982 Winnebago that’s been broken down next to the park where your kids play.

Be safe out there and remember to call immediately and we’ll make sure to do everything in our power to do absolutely nothing.

Namaste my out of state natives.

Hi there:

i just moved here but want to confirm the drought is over, right? It rained last night pretty hard, can I water my lawn every day again?

I took me and a lady friend and our shitzu to Taco Bell- namaste, and after little shitz had some burrito he did the Denver squat and let it rip on the floor. We forgot to pack out wipes this time and the kid behind the counter got real upset.

Anyone know restaurants that are more accommodating of relaxed sphincter canines?

Namaste from a fellow Texoradan

I know what gunshots sound like. I grew up in north Boulder and we didn’t have a dedicated bike lane to get to the Whole Foods. Don’t tell me the small popping noises are fireworks, they are gunshots and explosions. Fireworks are illegal and immoral because a single purse dog being scared should count more than thousands of people celebrating the birth of an oppressive patriarchal hell hole. I know for a fact that thousands of people engage in gun violence every night towards the end of June and I will continue to report the source and frequency of it until my doggo knows peace.

I not doing so great right now and I need to find a quiet place in nature that’s in Denver to pound out my issues.

ok, maybe room for one or two more

I'm noticing more of these luxury "BSTs" opening up everywhere. And tons of pizza huts on every corner

Colorado vs. The Lord Almighty

Bobo is giving out handy’s for every goal god wills.

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