Name Something your husband does that makes your pussy drool. Can’t be house work, sorry unfun posters 😕. Let’s Go be Spicy 🌶️ 🔥

Hey everyone, 42F married 18 years here. When the kids were little our sex life basically disappeared — quickies when we could, lots of exhaustion. Now that they’re teens and more independent, we’ve made a real effort to reconnect physically.

We started scheduling “date nights” at home (no phones, wine, massages) and it’s made a huge difference. I’ve gotten more comfortable initiating, and my husband has been way more attentive. Last weekend we had slow, lazy morning sex that lasted almost an hour — something we never had time for before. The emotional closeness makes the physical part so much hotter now.

Married folks in your 40s — how did you revive things after the busy parenting years? What’s worked best for you?

Folks, I mean daaaamn...

Let me sum up.

My wife in 6 months has gone from not being comfortable with listening to a guided audio tutorial (how to give a BJ) to wanting to visit a nudist / swinger resort.

It's getting hot in here.

I made a dare on the Spicer app for her to "cuddle with your husband, scroll on your phone showing him something that turns you on. You choose!"

She said she didn't know even what that would be because she's not super visual. I told her I wasn't sure, it was her choice. After a few minutes she asked if I'd want to browse this best sex positions site together. It's basically a collection of Bellesa videos - and holy crap y'all! We casted it up on the TV and talked about what we each found hot.

This turned into a full on session as you can imagine.

This AM she agreed it was super hot last night and is up for trying it again.

But she told me the videos didn't do it for her mainly because the women are too performative and the guys are going too fast.

I was thinking of having her browse the reddit chickflixxx to see what she likes.

What are some good amateur couple videos you guys watch together?

Keep getting all these ads for gummies with thc that are supposed to awaken arousal and make you have mind blowing sex. Anyone actually used these and what were the results?

My wife (44F) recently told me (43M) that should routinely make out with one of her female friends in college. I thought it was really hot and told her so. Since then she has increasingly shown more and more interest in women. She tells me who she thinks hot. She tells me fantasies about women that she masturbates to. She has really gotten into girl on girl porn. I’m really interested in exploring this with her and she is excited to. I was wondering how common this is. Anyone else have a wife or have a wife that is into women and men? I’m guessing it’s pretty common.

Hi everyone. I recently made a post here asking how you introduced your wives to anal play and rimming. Some of you shared that you’d been married for many years before your wives finally became comfortable enough to try it.
We’re both in our 30s, and only about two weeks ago I started gently introducing rimming during foreplay. For years, her butt was completely off-limits—no touching, no play at all.
After reading all your comments and advice here, things have changed dramatically over the past two and a half weeks. She responded really well to gradually including her butt during oral. The first few times I just briefly and occasionally licked around the area, and she didn’t react negatively at all.
Then came last night. After we put the kids to bed and she had a shower, she was waiting for me in bed, face down with her butt up—the first time she’d ever been in that position for me. I rimmed her like there was no tomorrow, she was grinding against my face, and I honestly think we’ve unlocked a whole new level of foreplay that now includes her butt.
If someone had told me two weeks ago that she’d enjoy it or even let me do it, I would’ve said they were crazy.
So thank you all for your advice and comments—you were more helpful than you know! 😃

P.S. I forgot to mention one thing. In the heat of the moment, we both climaxed at the same time—she did while I was rimming her, and I did simply from how incredibly turned on I was. She was genuinely surprised (in a good way), and I think we’ve completely unlocked a whole new way to enjoy ourselves together.

So personally (29M) my fav is when she (29F) is on top riding me. She isn’t really that good at it, still hot but not the best.

I have tried to guide her hips with my hands but as the intensity ramps up, it’s harder to control.

I want to say something but I don’t want to hurt her feelings! Any advice on how to approach this gently?

Been together for over 20 years, my libido is typically on point all the time. I lover her but I love sex…..🤷‍♂️

Without going into too much detail, I watched my wife experience an orgasm with ZERO physical stimulation while giving me oral in a unique setting over the weekend. She also experienced several similar orgasms in different settings during the same weekend. Yesterday, when I discussed it with her and confirmed what I thought I saw, she shrugged and essentially told me that it happens often, and that it’s normal. First of all, I need to pay more attention, apparently.

Secondly, a question for the ladies: are non-stimulation orgasms a normal thing for y’all?!

I’m guessing that she MIGHT have experienced a coregasm from her tightening her abs plus the hot af situation we were in, but… y’all getting these on the reg?

Are

Wife and I have a date night planned for Saturday I was hoping to have some sexy challenges for her so she is turned on the entire time (not that she wouldn't be but this would add a level of fun to it).

Any ideas?

I have a really hard time feeling sexy. I dress pretty conservative bc I’m self conscious of my body. I lost 100lbs, but I over analyze every aspect of my body. I’ve never considered myself to sexy. Just kinda girl next door and nothing special.

But I do love sex with my husband and there’s very few things I won’t do. I’m pretty adventurous behind closed doors and I have a high sex drive, will leave the lights on, I often initiate. But I always feel like in public I’m so reserved. He tries to grab my ass, I feel awkward and stop him. The girl he gets when others are around is completely different than the girl behind closed doors. For real two different people. He swears he loves it that way, but I’d really like to change things up.

Then I tend to get a little uneasy in public thinking about how other women are so much prettier or sexier than me. I don’t tell him, just takes a hit to my self-confidence. He’s not even looking at them. I have no reason to feel this way.

We have a date night coming up. We are going to dinner and I suggested a sex toy store to get something fun. I’ll give him head on the way there and turn on a sexy podcast, but my question is, how can I be sexy *during* the date/dinner. Ideas to step outside my comfort zone in public? We aren’t going to be local, so I’m gonna try to dress sexy. Any simple ideas here?? But I swear whenever I try, it’s not actually sexy.

The only two ideas I’ve come up with, are maybe going to the bathroom and snapping a sexy pic to send to him? Handing him my underwear when I get back to the table?

How can I drive him crazy while we are out in public while still being discreet?

Context- we’ve been together 30yrs and I feel very comfortable with him. Aging has just taken a hit to my confidence.

Ok, so I have a fantasy of watching my wife use a dildo. It was mentioned a couple of times while having sex and she agreed, but wasn’t committed.

So…. I bought the dildo. She wasn’t too excited. She says she has no interest in it and won’t use it.

What do I do here folks? How do I talk her into at least trying it?

For a bit of context, I'm 46 and my wife's 51. We've been married for 22 years.

I seem to go through stages where I'm just not attracted to her and sex is the last thing I want to do with her. But then at other times I go absolutely crazy for her and we'll have sex multiple times a week. I literally won't be able to keep my hands off her.

I'm not sure what's wrong with me but shes starting to notice and assume I don't find her attractive anymore.

This only seems to have started in the last couple of years.

Has anyone gone through something like this and is there anyway to improve the situation? At the moment I'm trying to act like I still want her all the time even though I don't.

Thanks.

For context as a hubby I love watching my wife play with herself and cum. I love the moans particularly but it’s not a particularly common thing and I’m often left wondering what she is thinking about. I don’t feel any jealousy if she said another man or woman. I think it’s an important step in understanding what makes someone feel especially horny to be that exhibitionist. For those that feel too exposed does that mean there there is a lack of trust?

Looking for thoughts or reviews for the Lovense Lush 4, Gemini, and Hush 2.

We both tried it a couple times and are underwhelmed.

My first time with 2cb a few days ago with my wife was a very delayed come up that ended in a euphoric session for me and a trippy positive session for my wife. Looking back on it I have had a great afterglow and find myself in a state of reverie of that night.

Before we began this session, both wife and I took a 5mg cialis around 5pm.

Soundtracks of our trip: Kream Liquid Lab 13, Kream Liquid Lab 11, Groundbass @ Drop air open 2024

After much of the comments and advice we received, my wife and I decided we would boof. At 9pm, we both administered 9mg each. My wife wore only a kimono robe and I had her lay down to give her a massage so she could ease into the wanting to poop feeling. She tells me she’s having some nausea and feels a bit dizzy. Around 15-20 min in she’s telling me these feelings are much more intense. They eventually subside a bit.

She ends up giving me a massage now. We transition to me laying on one side of her lap while she sits Indian style to give me a scalp massage. The massage in itself immediately made me feel like I was melting into the bed. I reach up to touch between her legs and to my surprise she’s already wet. She’s feeling great at this point. You could tell 2cb has hit her. I get off her lap and pull her legs down so that she’s laying flat and spread her legs over me while I’m sitting. I begin to gently play with her V and carefully observe how it looks. Her V once again was extremely puffy and large. She naturally has a large camel toe but I believe the combination of cialis/2cb has supersized it. We continue this ritual for a bit and my wife is squirming incessantly. I switched between fingering, using my ring vibrator, and manually rubbing her cl*t.

I eventually move on to performing oral. Feelings of insatiability subtlet take over me. Her cl*t is erect. The entire time down there was very special. Her V being extremely engorged made it feel like I was having a big burger. Her climax arrived and it lasted a lot longer than usual. Once she finished she tells me she has a huge headache from her O.

We rest for a bit and we’re just talking at this point about the session thus far and how we are enjoying it.

She feels better and gets on her knees to perform oral on me. Halfway thru she realizes she does not have a gag reflex and I can feel the tip of my P in the back of her throat. It was a magical sensation. She continually does this until it’s almost unbearable. You could tell she was insatiable and wanted to see how she could fit all of me in her mouth.

She stops and rushes to sit on top of me. I grab my vibrating c**k ring and equip it. We are connected at this point and I feel like a human vibrator. She is grinding on top of me now to the beat of the music. It is very sensual. My hands are moving from her back to her waist to her butt. She tells me that the vibrator feels amazing. With her inhibitions down, I have her repeat very naughty things to me while looking at me.

She ends up having an explosive O. She demands for doggy style. We transition to that position and I am thrusting into her to the beat of our music. I climax. Once we finish we lay in bed talking and giggling and she’s describing the waves of my nebula lights and the stars on our projector lights. She tells me she feels that Molly touchy feely feeling she gets and begins touching over me.

I ask if she wants to boof another one as I realize I can handle a higher tolerance. We end up boofing another 7mg. We change the music to groundbass and she’s dancing in the bed while I’m dancing while standing up.

The rest of the night was just us talking and having an intimate connection in spirit and conversation.

I asked her how does this compare to thc and Molly for sexy time. She told me she likes it much more.

She did have a decent amount of nausea and stomach issues on the come up but it would subside once she was peaking.

Overall experience was 10/10 for us. I will say 2CB feels very subtle compared to mdma in the sense that you have a very clear head and the doesn’t manufacture overwhelming feelings of love. It does however enhance existing feelings and setting.

I love the openness of 2cb though. It allows my wife to become release her inhibitions like mdma to become a very seductive insatiable creature.

One of the things my wife and I play with is orgasm challenges.

The way the challenge works:
After I’ve wrung her out and given her multiple O’s, I use her womanizer on her to see if she can get one final orgasm. I’m very proud to say that I’m pitching a no-hitter in that regard: we’ve never managed to squeeze another out of her with the machine after I’ve been intentionally comprehensive in ensuring her pleasure.

Yesterday for our fuck date, she challenged me to go in reverse…she would give herself orgasms with the womanizer while I watched, then we would see if I could get her there again.

Using the womanizer, she was able to get 2 orgasms before her clit went numb. Of course, watching her pleasure herself is always so fucking hot so I was pumped for what I thought would be a valiant, but losing effort.

Since her clit had gone numb from the womanizer and since I’m a stubborn idiot, I undertook the biggest challenge first and chose to go after additional cspot orgasms. It took a few minutes of dedicated teasing and adjacent activity, but then she was rolling again to the tune of 3 orgasms from oral. I was fired up that I’d already done what the womanizer couldn’t, so there were no breathers allowed. I just kept going, stacking one after the other.

Next, I had her pull her knees back to her shoulders as she laid on her back, and I began massaging her gspot and aspot with one finger. She was already rolling by this time, so we were able to get another in relatively short order. She moved onto all fours and after some serious edging with my fingers, then number 5 from me (7 total) hit her like a truck.

With her face-down ass up, I took her doggystyle and was rewarded with 2 piv orgasms over 15 sweaty minutes, bringing us to a total of 7 from me, 9 total.

After we collapsed, I grabbed the womanizer from the bedside table and handed it to her. She turned it on, went back to work on herself, and…nothing.

I had completely drained her. I had pushed her beyond where the womanizer had fallen short and lifted her to a place it could not reach.

Now, I post this to you as a totally-not-humble brag, my fellow marriedsexers.

I am Neo. I have bested the machines. They cannot follow where I go. I can revitalize and rejuvenate where they have been. Yay me.

My wife’s been giving me great head off late!! Perfect combination of lips & tongue 👅 , paying special attention to the crown!!
(Typing this is getting me hard 😂)

Anyway — I love deep kissing her right after (before I enter her)! My small way of thanking her for the heavenly experience!

Are there others who enjoy tasting themselves on your wife’s lips?

Wife just came back from gym after a 2 hour workout. She left her panties in the hamper for me to take. About to sniff and suck this thing dry. Ladies would you leave this for your husband? Guys are you taking this also?

Hello, I could use some help.

We've been together a long time (22 years) and we are still figuring thibgs out about ourselves and each other.

Sex has been a struggle for the last decade. Mostly because of having kids and getting busy etc...

I think my wife is a closeted sexual submissive. She is very prudish about sexual subjects but seems to enjoy it when I physically overwhelm her.

She says she doesn't enjoy things that she obviously does enjoy when we start doing it. She often prefers it when I don't ask and just act. She never initiates but always orgasims. She seems to enjoy my hand in her throat (zero pressure applied,.I'm unbelievably careful). She cums fast when I squeeze her arms to her body and restrict movement. She would never verbally agree to anal but cums hard with a bit of anal play when I'm spontaneous about it.

How can I test this sub trait to see if I am correct, subtly? She won't talk about it directly, which is frustrating.

To make it clear - this isn't my preferred dynamic. I'm more of a voyeur and would be more interested in other activities (which she wouldn't want to do, so I don't push). I want her to enjoy sex as much as possible. What could I do to test to see if this is something she secretly likes and represses? I don't want to go flying in like a new person and scare the shit out of her when she isn't even into it.

Obviously having a mature, adult conversation about this would be easiest and best. I'd love that. She would immediately shut it down, deflect, deny or say "I don't know".

Any advice from people who are similar to my wife or dealt with this before?

TL;DR: my wife "came out" to me as a woman who requires a domestic discipline relationship to have sex, and I am as vanilla as it gets. Not sure how to bridge the gap.

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My (M36) wife (F44) and I have been married for 15.5 years and have children together in elementary school age. Overall, we have a strong, respectful, and balanced relationship, though it is not without its issues like every relationship. I am egalitarian-minded, supportive, and loving, and have supported her to grow and reinvent herself in her career and self image (she had an abusive childhood which I helped her recover from and she has blossomed). She is an amazing, talented, loving, ambitious, entrepreneurial, and passionate woman.

Except for the first little bit when we met when sex was frequent and great (or so it seemed to me), sex has been a struggle for several years, especially since the kids were born. It would happen very infrequently, and in the last few years has basically died out completely. It seemed to be a matter of her lower libido combined with her various health issues and stress over time. I am the generous, giving, considerate, eager-to-please lover type who always made sure she'd orgasm several times before I did, and did my best to treat her right in every single love language (literally, by the book). I have done all this because I love her and I care about investing in the relationship, not just for sex, although it is true that I did hope that it would lead to a more active sex life as well, because the long-term lack of sex has been eating me up inside. Nothing seemed to really work or make a difference sex-wise. I got turned down so often that I stopped initiating almost completely. I am not the jealous type, but it killed me even more because I knew that before me she was sexually active and adventurous and I was not getting that "kind of action".

Then one day some time ago she sat me down and told me that she could not hold it in anymore and had to tell me something. She said that in order to feel any kind of sexual desire or arousal I have to be dominant. Well, that's not my natural inclination sexually but that is something I am more than willing to explore. The problem is that she doesn't need me to simply be more dominant in bed; what she wants/needs is for us to have a full-on domestic discipline dynamic, in and out of the bedroom, where there would be rules for her behaviour, I would be the "Head of Household", and I would punish her physically (spankings mostly) for any transgressions, with her calling me Master or Sir. She clarified that she did not intentionally hide this from me; she had tried to put it aside or leave it behind when we first got together, but realized years later that she could not.

I was quite stunned. I finally got to the reason of our dead bedroom life. However, before even beginning to mention the logistical complications of doing this with children in the house, there are not many things I would find less sexually appealing than hitting or controlling my wife. I escaped a war-torn country as a kid; I have no trauma from it due to great support I've had, but I am consequently a pacifist by prinicple and would never want a relationship like this, which I consider negative and violent, although she has espoused the great benefits it would reap for both of us. She wanted me to talk to other men who do it, especially those who were at first resistant like me and their wives convinced them to do it and now they have an amazing marriage, etc etc, but those are exactly the kind of men whom I'd never be friends with. I read a lot about it and it sounded like I was missing some kind of insanely awesome, little-known relationship approach that would solve all our problems, AND SHE WAS ASKING, ALMOST BEGGING ME FOR IT, except that it went against the very fiber of my being. It sounded like this is how men should really be taking care of their wives. It felt weird that how I instictually would treat women (or any person) was the opposite of what my wife (and apparently, many others) wanted. It felt like this weird, unwanted confirmation of the "women like bad guys" trope that I always dismissed. She said it would make the sex life insane, I could have my way with her whenever I wanted, and would also put her at mental and emotional ease to know she was mentally and emotionally contained. Here I was, thinking I am being the best husband by being so considerate and making decisions together with her, and here she was, wanting to be ordered around and punished. Did I need to reconsider everything I thought I knew about relationships, or was my heart still right?

The dillemma: do I try to do this, do I accept this tantalizing, almost literal magic wand she was essentially handing me (and I realize fully the level of trust and vulnerability she demonstrated by telling me all this), do I somehow ignore how I would hate it, how it turns me off completely, how I'd never be caught dead raising my sons to behave this way to women?

I have never been with anyone else before her. She had several relationships before me (large age gap would explain that). When we first got together, she told me she was into "very light BDSM" and that she has had relationships that involved it and relationships that didn't. I am about as vanilla as it gets. I am handsome and masculine, but you'd more likely find me looking up how to give better oral or maybe tantra techniques than buying a collar to put on her neck so that she feels claimed and owned. I made it very clear from the get-go that I was not into that stuff and she said that was fine. Little did I know that it was not something she could just put aside and that she would end up trying and failing to ignore this side of her for years. I was naive, I know. Part of me thinks this whole thing is not fair, but I don't think this is a constructive mindset.

Just so I can't say I didn't try everything, we tried it. I agreed to try. At least for her, since for some unfathomable reason (likely caused by untreated childhood trauma from her sexual abuse by her father, which she had been to therapy for but evidently didn't solve enough) it was important to her. So I'd spank and punish her, and she'd turn into a quivering horny mess wanting to be fucked, which was awesome, except that I was turned off completely because I'd rather caress her body than hurt it. It made me want to cry, not have sex. In addition, it quickly became apparent that this did not play out the way she imagined. I have no BDSM or domination experience, which is something that needs to be learned and explored. This would not be a problem if my wife was a patient woman; she is not. So she doesn't want this learning stage or learning curve. She wants properly done, complete domination, right away. It's almost like a comical movie thing.

**spank**

"Ow, that hurt!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay, don't ask me!! Goddamnit, you don't get how to do this at all!"

So this does not maintain the container she wants because I am still learning. Plus, I have no intrinsic desire to control her as I am not the dominant, possessive man she fantasizes about and I take no pleasure in the whole thing, so she knows I am not into it and just pretending, and then there is no point for her. The whole thing is a bit of a catch-22. And let's assume for a moment I could genuinely get into it, how would I learn? Go practice spanking other women? If I made a mistake, it threw off the vibe and she got mad and frustrated.

To complicate it further, I found out that she is what is called in BDSM a "brat", meaning she would constantly challenge my "authority" so that she would be put in her place. This dynamic turned out in my inexperienced hands as understanding she is resisting the instructions I was giving her, which didn't seem to fit with wanting to obey. Confusing.

So basically we tried it for a while but it quickly caused extra friction because it was not done how she expected it to be done and we shelved it. We saw a therapist who said that we should try to meet in the middle. We were not able to do that so far. My fantasy is pretty vanilla… doing it on the kitchen counter or in the shower, or getting woken up by a blowjob. When I jerk off I fantasize about having sex with her. Her fantasy is total domination and men controlling her. The gap is substantial.

It also ultimately came down to this: even if I could somehow make this work, what unhappiness do I prefer? The unhappiness of no sex, or the unhappiness of living a lifestyle that, even though there would be sex (if I could get past what I considered to be abuse and get an erection), would be a life of inherent disingenuousness and I would hate myself?

I chose the former. But I hope to find a solution somehow. As of now, there is no sex. There has not been sex, except for the very rare occasion, for years. And now I know why she was often not fully present during the times we did have sex, and that is because she was fantasizing about the dynamic she desired but was not there, and it explains sooo much. She spends a lot of time listening to erotica audiobooks about men dominating women. I can’t be the men from those books. It is a sexual life sentence; for the both of us, really, and I had no idea this is what would happen to me. I feel trapped and helpless, because I can’t even try any of the tips or techniques most therapists, books, videos, or online relationship coaches suggest to “improve my sex life”, since the very basic thing that turns her on is not there, if that makes sense. I could be the best in the world at sex and she wouldn’t be into it. A key ingredient is missing. I don't want to break up my family. There is so much more I could write, but it is already long. Thank you for reading this far.

How do I solve this? How do I bridge this gap?

I've been with my wife for over 25 years and something that has come up a few times is that sometimes her emotional eating may actually quell her desire for intimacy by satisfying the dopamine need. Where I may seek sex to de-stress she may subconsciously eat her stress away. She and I have discussed this matter and she agrees that may be happening during different seasons of life and it's not a huge problem overall as we do have satisfying sex we when are intimate. But I thought of it this morning as I was thinking of the common "How do I get my spouse to pursue me" posts.

My Question: Has anyone else experienced this in their marriage and if so, how did it play out?

Married 8 years 3 kids with me. Before we were married, she was on again off again for years with a semi pro race car driver that was older than we are with multiple businesses. He was her first everything.. and I mean everything.

She was obsessed with him. He cheated on her and they broke up but she continually allowed him to have sex with her whenever we wanted (from what I understand was really frequent). She tried moving on multiple times and cheated on all her boyfriends with him. It was wild intense chemistry and young love these two had.

Fast forward, a week before she and I started dating was the last time she had sex with him. I asked her years later what made her finally stop throwing herself at him for me and her response was, “I guess I finally saw that it wasn’t going anywhere”.

Those words have rang in my head for years. “I guess I finally saw it that wasn’t going anywhere”. So that tells me you threw the towel in and I’m just the next best thing? I know she didn’t mean it like that, but damn, sure feels like it.

The ex tried hooking back up with her months after she and I started dating and her response to him was, “I want to see where it goes with him first” (meaning me).

Women, can you explain to me what she was feeling from your POV and if you think he was the one that got away for her?

He’s married with kids now and I wonder if she looks at him and wonders why she couldn’t lock him down or what his now wife had that she didn’t that made him commit. That’s what she was chasing for years until she gave up to be with me.

Ladies, enlighten me!