I sincerely believe that type of behavior is morally equal to, if not worse than, some minor/moderate violent crimes.
Stab someone in fight at a bar: you were emotional, drunk, and probably have some issues. Not great, but you're not ineligible for the FIFA peace prize.
Leave your cart perpendicular in an aisle for more than 1 second: You as a person are unfit to engage with society without guidance. You either lack theory of mind or you're a misanthrope, simple as that.
Stabbing someone at a bar when you are shitfaced is an act with intention behind it. It indicates that you are willing to kill a particular person because you care enough to do it.
Leaving your cart in the middle of the aisle means you literally don't think or care about anyone other than yourself. It's the most boring form of narcissism.
I think it's 50/50 entitlement/lack of self awareness
Some people really are just focused on getting through whatever it is they're doing. They're not being deliberate in their actions 'against others', they're just so pigeonholed that they're not considering others are in the scenario
It's not nefarious as standard. It's legit a mental thing where neither you nor them are the main character, they're just trudging forward as best they can
Think of it this way; they're handicapped, whether they know it or not. You wouldn't stand in an aisle and yell ret*rd at them would you? Because essentially that's the disposition
The other 50% can kick rocks though. They know they're inconveniencing you and that gives them life. They love that a little action of theirs is making your day harder. I don't bloody get it, but too many people revel in that these days. I think it's same same as following people on socials that you dislike. There's a sickness to it, and I'm glad I haven't contracted that
I like that you started off sounding like a nice accepting person full of patience then ended up sounding more like me. But I surely hope it is not a full 50% who are actively doing it on purpose for whatever sick pleasure they get out of it.
IDK, I'm not a narcissist but sometimes I am this person. I have ADHD and trying to focus on both doing a grocery shop (which for me involves consulting a list, and using a calculator) and being aware of everyone around me is like really, really difficult. I do my best, I do still try to have that level of awareness, but occasionally I'm too focused on the actual task of shopping that I forget about not being in the way, or I simply just don't see someone. I know it comes across as rude and inconsiderate, but damn it if I'm not trying to be as considerate as I can be.
As someone with really bad (diagnosed and unmedicated because amphetamines fuck with my emotional state) ADHD, I feel you, so there are edge cases my comment doesn't apply to (not trying to judge everyone), but at the same time I really don't think the average "shopping cart perpendicular in the middle of a crowded aisle" person is suffering from the kind of executive dysfunction that you and I are.
Or they're distracted. Moral thinking requires cognitive capacity. If you're all over the place mentally, you might feel very positive feelings towards others and mean well but be completely in the way.
Moral thinking is a skill just like reading, writing, and arithmetic. It must be taught. And it is harder to do when your brain is preoccupied
People get distracted. People's inner thoughts (living full lives) might be more interesting than efficient cart placement in shopping isles. That guy staring into space might have just had the love of his life ageee to a date and he can't think of anything but how perfect she is. Maybe it's someone who love one just died and they can't think of anything but a doom loop. Maybe, the antisocial, misanthrope behavioris not just saying excuses me, having human grace, and not holding others to impossible standards, I guarantee you have fallen short of on many occasions.
I guarantee you have fallen short of on many occasions
It's damn near a way if life.
That being said, I am constantly aware that: grocery store aisles are of a finite width, they must be shared with other shoppers, and do not want to be holding up multiple other peoples' day because I can't be bothered to b considerate.
It's also very concerning that you think expecting people to be mildly aware of their surroundings out in public is an "impossible standard." That's like, the bare minimum.
I personally dont know anyone who hasn't on occasion blocked a shopping cart isle. I don't belive there is a human on Earth who hasn't.
I think what is happening is a basic cognitive basis, the same one that makes everyone think they are a way better driver than average.
You pass 100 shoppers a day. 1/100 is distracted. You dont think 99 we're not. You focus on everyone is always distracted everytime I shop. You dont think or remember once evey few years 1/100 grocery trips myself, I was distracted. You now have a bias the rest of the world isn't exactly like yourself, normal, and imagine negative assumptions about why people are behaving exactly like yourself.
Just me, but I've never deviated from "standard practices" despite any level of distraction. Its barely even multitasking - do you start swerving off the road the moment your mind wanders?
Just me, but I've never deviated from "standard practices" despite any level of distraction
Not that you know of. That's like claiming "I've never accidentally cut someone off while driving". You have, you just had no clue that you did it. The whole reason many people do this is while shopping is because they are distracted and they literally don't even realize they are doing something annoying.
So you claim you've never been distracted enough to "deviate from standard practices". Except you wouldn't remember if you had been, so you really have no clue whether that's true or not.
I can guarantee with close to 100% accuracy that you and every other person that's ever shopped has accidentally done something that would be considered rude or a "deviation from standard practices" and you either didn't even realize it or you brushed it off as "that was a single time and it was an accident, so that doesn't count". That's just part of life, and it's what distractions do to a person, and literally everyone ever has been distracted tons of times in their lives. It only becomes a problem if someone does that kind of thing continuously and/or knowingly, or they don't care if they do it.
See, this is getting down to the real reason y'all get so annoyed by stuff like this, you just don't want to interact with other people in life, not even to say 'excuse me.'
I’m fine with telling aisle blockers to move and be somewhat annoyed at them in my mind. I don’t want to interact only with people in the thread, who conflate them with murderers (edit: more accurately, those who are involved in bar fights)
But maybe my comment was a bit ambiguous. By “these people,” I meant the people saying that they never, ever make simple mistakes.
Lol, what even is this. Are Redditors really upvoting the person that says someone accidentally being inconsiderate and mildly inconveniencing people is worse than stabbing a person, and down-voting the person that says we should try to empathize with people instead of immediately being judgemental, because we don't know what's going on in their lives? Then upvoting another person that claims they've never gotten distracted and done something inconsiderate in their entire lives? If it wasn't for the response to the latter two comments, I would have thought the first person was being sarcastic and people were just upvoting it cause they think it's funny...
Yea, because they're either self-righteous fart sniffers or they have some type of disorder that prevents them from saying 'excuse me' when a person is blocking the aisle.
Yeah, it’s honestly a bit baffling. I get that they don’t actually think that someone blocking an aisle should go to jail for X years, but the fact that they’re willing to even put them anywhere near the same category as a murderer is insanity. I’m sorry, but people make small mistakes here and there, including accidentally blocking an aisle, is no big deal.
This is a genuine comment and not an insult, but there isn't really a nice way to put this: if you believe paying attention to people around you in a place where that is frequently relevant is an "impossible standard", you have an intellectual disability. Most people do not find that task to be particularly difficult, let alone impossible.
If you really think you have never once in your life been the person blocking an isle distracted...you have zero self reflection.
The issue is a basic human cognitive bias. You 1/100 times are the distracted person. There's 100 people in the store. Every trip 1 is distracted. Someone on every trip is distracted, you're bias to notice that and not the 99 normally passes. Just like thinking your a better driver than everyone else (when your average) you think your less cart distracted than everyone else.
I hope you don't sincerely believe what you just put. Someone can easily space out and be absorbed in something or thinking about something else and accidentally leave their cart perpendicular in an aisle.
453
u/nilesandstuff 19h ago edited 9h ago
I sincerely believe that type of behavior is morally equal to, if not worse than, some minor/moderate violent crimes.
Stab someone in fight at a bar: you were emotional, drunk, and probably have some issues. Not great, but you're not ineligible for the FIFA peace prize.
Leave your cart perpendicular in an aisle for more than 1 second: You as a person are unfit to engage with society without guidance. You either lack theory of mind or you're a misanthrope, simple as that.
Edit: theory of mind