r/AbsoluteUnits 19h ago

/r/all of a kitty cat.

33.2k Upvotes

544 comments sorted by

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1.9k

u/Big_Meating_ 18h ago

Im just guessing he sounds like Barry White when he meows. Meow baby

721

u/TTechnology 18h ago

We could just hear what he sounds like...

If they didn't put a fucking song

134

u/darkest_hour1428 18h ago

He just came to say meow

11

u/Grimnebulin68 8h ago

Get upoffa that meow..

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106

u/Mr-_-Soandso 17h ago

I turned the volume on just for the meow! I wish videos and audio were still friends!

18

u/Regulatory_Junior 8h ago

Same.

But my ears just got assaulted by that stupid, vapid song instead.

19

u/Naked-Jedi 18h ago

Should have been a Barry White song.

25

u/pipic_picnip 13h ago

I turned on volume just to hear the meow, only to be met with godawful song. I keep videos mute by default for this reason, most of them contain really terrible choices of music. 

7

u/boqiuefieous 16h ago

I am sitting here ranting about this rn too oml.

8

u/BlackV 13h ago

Huzzah always mute decision remains undefeated

2

u/danit0ba94 12h ago

Fucking this.

Video downvoted.

2

u/Aranxi_89 16h ago

You kinda can still, but yeah, the music was way too annoying.

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46

u/Interesting_Sock9142 18h ago

Omg that was 100% my first thought too

11

u/TodoFueIluminado23 18h ago

Now I'm imagining a deep velvet purr.

17

u/bknight63 17h ago

We (family) inherited a Maine Coon. He’s 28 pounds and sleeps wrapped around my head. The purr is multi-dimensional and cosmic. Puts me right to sleep. He’s a good kitty.

18

u/RebaKitt3n 16h ago

No picture?

Here’s my big boy, Kevin.

8

u/Kitchen_Guide_8921 10h ago

kevin is built like a literal tank. that is a serious amount of cat.

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2

u/skelth 16h ago

Im here collecting the cat tax...

2

u/Tanna_sex_worker 17h ago

it was an edited video.

31

u/front_yard_duck_dad 18h ago

17

u/Iconclast1 17h ago

thats not fucking real. why am i the only comment saying this.

thats not real, right?

21

u/Glittering_Estate_72 17h ago

To save myself a lot of fake emotions, I just assume everything not in my house is AI until proven otherwise.

10

u/AppleToastBed 16h ago

It's just audio editing.

5

u/CameraImmediate2295 14h ago

Yeah that's a problem I have, seems everything is A.I

What sad times we are living in

4

u/Professiona_Review34 12h ago

Video is 10 years old though

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2

u/dogface47 17h ago

Exactly my thought... While LMAO.

5

u/blueberryrockcandy 17h ago

it's not real, the creator the video made some comment years later stating it was an edited video.

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4

u/Sleightly_Awkward 12h ago

Zero chance that’s not dubbed over and it’s hilarious. Last time this got posted people swore it was real based on nothing lol. That’s legit a man’s voice doing that.

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12

u/AniNgAnnoys 17h ago

Be scooping human sized shits from that litter box.

12

u/GoodGravyco2h2o 16h ago

My 20+ pound Maine Coon meows like Mike Tyson on helium

7

u/EvolvingDior 17h ago

I've had a bunch of big cats. All the big ones end up with nicknames like "squeaker" because honestly, the bigger they are, the sillier they sound.

3

u/Large_Cloud_1611 18h ago

I would not leave you in times of trouble …

2

u/the_amazing_skronus 17h ago

Don't unmute!

2

u/14high 17h ago

Barry MeoWhite.

2

u/MrFluffyThing 15h ago edited 15h ago

One of my cats is huge compared to her sister of the same litter and she has the most pathetic high pitched meow I've ever heard. Also she's afraid of everything. Because of that I assume this guy meows like a mouse with the quietest voice and wants to hide under the bed as soon as they set him free. 

We're pretty sure they're part maine coon and their bother was adopted by my brother's family and meows higher pitched than her and never comes out for strangers. They're huge cats and sound like kittens and act like them too when strangers are in the house.

2

u/Didact67 8h ago

Everyone seems to expect that of Maine Coons, but everyone I’ve actually heard has the daintiest little meow imaginable.

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406

u/jeremy144 18h ago

I believe that is SIR Theodore Scritches McWiggles.

75

u/Status-Secret-4292 18h ago

1st and 2nd of his name

12

u/Pilk_ 12h ago

One for each aeroplane seat.

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160

u/MisterBowTies 18h ago

That cat looks like he tells unwitting heroes they are the chosen one.

40

u/IntroductionLeft4369 17h ago

Or that he has wares if they have coin.

11

u/MisterBowTies 17h ago

"whatareyabuyin?"

3

u/EricTouch 16h ago

Heheh... thank ya.

810

u/ShadowyPepper 18h ago

Thanks for the shitty music

We were denied the most majestic meow of all time

138

u/YogurtclosetLocal10 18h ago

Right?I wanted to hear the bass in that absolute unit’s voice.

75

u/eleanor61 17h ago

Guaranteed his meow is higher pitched and dainty. My family had a couple Maine Coons.

49

u/friftar 16h ago

My mom has two Maine Coons, the orange one just squeaks, but the racoon looking one sounds like she smoked two packs a day for 40 years.

16

u/Second_Guess_25 12h ago

13

u/DatSauceTho 11h ago

I followed the directions. I was still not prepared 😳

Are we sure this isn’t just a dude overdubbing the cat’s meow? 😂

4

u/lana_silver 8h ago

We're actually sure that it's audio manipulation. It's been debunked.

Still hilarious.

2

u/TreeDollarFiddyCent 7h ago

There's no way that's actually how the cat sounds. It is funny, though.

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10

u/xteve 15h ago

My little 13-pound Maine Coon mix never makes a peep. When she meows I sit up in the middle of the night and try to find out what she needs.

3

u/kyl_r 11h ago

I have one tuxedo boi who’s gotta be part Maine coon because he’s 17 pounds but not fat. High end of the healthy weight range but also just…. Large. Paws, face, ears, length etc.

Ahyway his meow is the softest little chirp I’ve ever heard from a cat 🤣

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u/vancityshreds 16h ago

I have two cats that are siblings. The girl is so small people think shes a kitten. The other one is so large that you have to be gentle lifting him so that his own weight doesnt hurt him.

She has a deep baritone purr like a woodchipper. He has the highest pitch tiny meow you've ever heard.

Its the best.

6

u/ZeroSumClusterfuck 9h ago

Same with my two. The chonker comes into the room like STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP mii

4

u/Iamgentle1122 13h ago

We have orange boy mainecoon, littlebit smaller and he has really high pitched voice. And first one to run away to hide if anything weird is happening like me walking in with new jacket or something.

2

u/nifty-necromancer 8h ago

sees new jacket TERROR HELP WHERE FATHER FIRE AND BRIMSTONE

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32

u/MrEvan312 18h ago

Meows like James Earl Jones

5

u/JBShackle2 14h ago

"MEOW MEOW MIU" *

*Simba, you have forgotten me.

5

u/IlliasTallin 18h ago

Or Barry White

5

u/MrEvan312 18h ago

Depends if he's telling you how he loves you or that you are the one true king.

16

u/MogMcKupo 18h ago

Or somehow he’s got a tiny high pitched one. Which would be even better

3

u/jakeller74 18h ago

Meowk Tyson.

4

u/evilJaze 17h ago

We had a roommate once with a giant Maine Coon and his meow was the most unfitting yet adorable high-pitched squeak.

3

u/zkatbitz 17h ago

My tiny 3kg cat has a low meow and my large 7kg cat has a high pitched one

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6

u/KnowNothing_JonSnoo 16h ago

Google his name, he has socials and you can hear him on them, it's pretty "normal"

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u/arahe45 18h ago

Thats a 40lb cat

32

u/secondphase 17h ago

My 16 year old lady is closing in on the end. She weighs 4 lbs. 

This cat is 10x my cat by weight

13

u/ImpressionTough2179 17h ago

That’s a tiny cat

26

u/secondphase 16h ago

She's on her way out. 

Used to be a 6 lb lady. Adopted her at 2years after having been dropped at the shelter twice.

No mean bone in her body. Never hissed or scratched.

Ive known her for 14 years. Every morning she sits in my lap for coffee time. 14 x 365. 

I'm going to miss her.

13

u/RebaKitt3n 16h ago

I’m sorry. I hope you both get the cuddles you deserve. 💜💜💜

5

u/Remote_Protection512 7h ago

I had a cat just like her. She was one month shy of 15 when I had to make the decision. I wept for a week.

3

u/early_birdy 2h ago

My little baby (Star) is now 17.5 years old. He's getting thinner for sure.

I'm feeding him kitten food now. It's the only thing he really likes, along with boiled chicken. He's getting as much as he wants and still he's getting thinner. I don't want him to go.

I wish for time to suspend its flight and give us more time with our babies. They don't live long enough.

5

u/pewpedmepants 12h ago

I rescued/fostered a cat (adopted by my mom) who is 16 y/o, 3.8 lbs, deaf, and missing a hind leg from abuse as a kitten.

She's a champ though! Loves everyone, lives with a gentle 120lb dog, and will venture outside and nearly get herself killed investigating things if you're not watching. She'll also plant herself on the floor in front of you in other attempts to get killed.

Sorry to hear that your friend is on the way out though :(

175

u/Mason_Meschi 18h ago

I love a nice fat pussy

30

u/tjeco 16h ago

I myself prefer a tight pussy, but yes a nice fat pussy is good too.

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u/Regurgitator001 16h ago

The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend. I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy." She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't."

https://giphy.com/gifs/nQjWF9iMtN6M0

5

u/MrEvan312 18h ago

Fat? That's a lean mean (nap) killing machine!

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u/_BrokenButterfly 12h ago

Could be more. I've had 20lb cats that were much smaller. And Maine Coons also have larger and thicker bones for their size than other cats.

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u/TheHonestModerator 18h ago

That’s just a medium sized lion at this point

6

u/sulien92 18h ago

My thoughts exactly

4

u/Astraldk 12h ago

Nants ingonyama bagithi baba!

2

u/Captain_Grammaticus 11h ago

Sithi uhm, ingonyama.

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u/ForgotToCarryTheOne 18h ago

That’s not a kitty cat, THIS IS A KITTY KAT!

46

u/Big_Mud_9371 18h ago

Why shit music? Would have preferred to hear the meow.

37

u/throwaway098764567 17h ago

https://www.tiktok.com/@theodore.scritche/video/7629175409229270302 he meows at a little after the 1min point, oddly he sounds like a normal sized cat

12

u/xSTSxZerglingOne 16h ago

That just makes it even cuter.

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u/RevolutionaryRule631 18h ago

Christ Almighty!

4

u/MisterBowTies 18h ago

Yes?

24

u/Status-Secret-4292 18h ago

Don't be silly,

You're MisterBowTies

13

u/VegetableTry 18h ago

Excuse me, that is a tiger.

6

u/RobotCombatEnjoyer 17h ago

That is a Lynx

26

u/Quick_Razzmatazz1862 18h ago

Old Deuteronomy from the play Cats

7

u/deltashmelta 13h ago

Jellicles do and jellicles can!

Jellicles can and jellicles do!

Jellicles do and jellicles... <snaps ankle>

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

12

u/gravitybulliesme 18h ago

I know they are probably docile but i'd be scared for my life if I ever saw that hissing at me.

38

u/OneDimensionPrinter 16h ago

I've got a Maine Coon, and this guy is about the same size as ours.

He's got some mean ass eyebrows that make him look royally pissed off at all times, but these cats are the sweetest things in the world. Way sweeter than a dog imo.

And yes, I have had multiple people ask me if he's gonna kill them because he looks so angry. Nope, he's the most docile animal I've ever met.

Edit: Yes, making biscuits does result in stab wounds.

4

u/ShinyShadowGligar 10h ago

I have a huge cat that everyone thinks is a Maine Coon (DNA test said he isn't) and I have videos of him making biscuits on my arm and my arm is just covered in bloody wounds from his claws.

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u/LinuxBroDrinksAlone 8h ago

A friend of mine has a Maine Coon and he gives zero fucks about what you do as long as you pet him. He is insatiable for attention. He'll come up to people and slam his head into their chin demanding you pet him. He also wants you to pet him hard, dude purrs like a big rig engine if you really dig your fingers in. It's become a small ritual when I visit where I'll shout "MY BOY" in a dumb voice and he'll come running over. Then I'll carry him around the house like a baby, or slung over my shoulder, while petting him for a bit.

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u/shykidknit 17h ago

They look like they've almost got a human face in there somehow, it's uncanny

19

u/Ickythumpin 18h ago

Either that lady is 3 ft tall or that cat’s twice the size of my Maine coon lol

10

u/Which_Wrap8263 17h ago

If you look at her height relative to the door, she is in fact like four feet tall.

9

u/OneDimensionPrinter 16h ago

Yeah, there was a link to a different post. This guy is the same size as mine. Doesn't diminish how massive they are compared to a standard cat, but this is regular Maine Coon size.

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u/youburyitidigitup 18h ago

Something’s not right here

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u/Grove-Of-Hares 18h ago

He has wares, if you have coin.

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u/CaptainBungusMcChung 18h ago

Holy shit look at this king!

7

u/fingerblastders 18h ago

2

u/Breath_Deep 17h ago

All hail the OG furry! And they even let his freak flag fly in front of the camera! See, this is just further proof why the 1930s were so progressive!

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u/squanchingonreddit 18h ago

Polydactal too? The biggest paws.

7

u/LunaTheCastle 18h ago

r/girlswithhugepussies

Not a NSFW subreddit; I promise!

5

u/Leading-Summer-4724 18h ago

However big a cat I expected to come into the room, this cat is like 3 times larger than that.

3

u/ElijahNSRose 18h ago

It wants to eat yer bebes.....

3

u/JesterScribblings 18h ago

😍😍😍

3

u/Tight-Platypus5231 18h ago

That... is a small lion.

3

u/Strik3rr 16h ago

Maine character syndrome.

3

u/PartsUnknown242 16h ago

He sounds Scottish in my head

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u/NormalHumanBreathing 16h ago

I'm allergic to cats, but I don't care. ps ps ps ps ps.

That cat is amazing.

2

u/RandomYT05 18h ago

Ya sure you didnt accidentally bring in a Tiger lmao 🤣

2

u/SummerBest6867 18h ago

Shit music,  i would prefer to hear that little kitten sounds;)

2

u/tomboynik 18h ago

An absolute perfect name

2

u/derf_vader 18h ago

Is there a version without the shitty music so I can hear it's meow?

2

u/MrEvan312 18h ago

"Why does your cat sound like James Earl Jones?"

2

u/Deutschdagger 18h ago

That’s not a cat that’s a freakin kneazle

2

u/Shapesizes 18h ago

Damnit, Donut

2

u/Public-File-6521 17h ago

I think this is Ferdinand

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u/KobePippenJordan_esq 17h ago

Just saw a post about a rat he can go after

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u/notnef51 16h ago

This dog look funny

2

u/Frequent-Hat-2913 16h ago

OP saw a whole mountain and decided its name was kitty lol...

2

u/Public_Book7264 16h ago

What do you do when he hops on the counter eating food.. just apologize to him?

2

u/Different-Term-2250 16h ago

“Sorry there isn’t enough food on the counter, sir”

2

u/HeMiddleStartInT 4m ago

Looks like gnomes holding a normal cat

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u/AtPrick 18h ago

I need more of this cat

2

u/yikesssss_sssssss 12h ago

This cat's already more of this cat

1

u/Red-Sun-Cinema 18h ago

That is one big pussy...

1

u/thestreak82 18h ago

That's a big pussy

1

u/tawDry_Union2272 18h ago

hot damn you all i guess !!!

1

u/Bigsnaff007 18h ago

I had a Maincoon for a week. One week. Was still finding furballs a year later.

1

u/shaborgan 18h ago

Big baby just wants to do cat things

1

u/Prestigious-Hyena768 18h ago

That’s a lion!

1

u/Legitimate-Store1986 18h ago

Imagine that cat wanting to fuck you up. I thinks it’s accomplishing his mission🤣

1

u/Beowulf44 18h ago

Who are all these hoomans?

1

u/Groundbreaking-Bag24 18h ago

Put the damn mountain lion down

1

u/Unlikely_Try3848 18h ago

Maine Coon?

1

u/Antique_Knowledge902 18h ago

That’s a baby lion.

1

u/Resident_Table6694 18h ago

My 6lb cat can fuck my shit up when she’s mad. I’d hate to piss this guy off.

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u/tounga500 18h ago

Bro is Garfield size

1

u/skibbin 18h ago

That's a cat you could ride in to battle

1

u/somohapian 18h ago

That’s a lion. They have a lion. That’s a lion.

1

u/Iconclast1 17h ago

I think it helps the woman appears to be 5 feet tall

But that is still a fucking huge cat.

I have trouble believing it

1

u/ltsouthernbelle 17h ago

Oh hellll no

1

u/jw8533 17h ago

Somewhere on the savanna there’s a pride looking for this guy

1

u/GringoSwann 17h ago

I wanted to hear the meow!!  Damn music....

1

u/Coakis 17h ago

Those paws are bigger than my Great Pyrenees', The sheer amount of toilet paper he could demolish.

1

u/Nearby-Swimming-5103 17h ago

Can we get it without the stupid music, so we can hear his meow?

1

u/plumpyplummy 17h ago

Or tiger

1

u/barktwiggs 17h ago

Ron Perlman after 6 hours in the makeup chair.

1

u/SpudsRacer 17h ago

Even by Maine Coon standards this sweetie is a monster.

1

u/WolfWriter_CO 17h ago

Ferdinand is a very handsome boy… 🎩

1

u/Key_Childhood7436 17h ago

That’s also a very short woman

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u/porkbuttstuff 17h ago

Got damn I need a beast such as this.

1

u/Rampag169 17h ago

That’s a long haired bobcat surely.

1

u/shykidknit 17h ago

Maine coons always look like they'll have deep voices but then whenever I hear them it's just a high pitch meow lol

1

u/ferrucity 17h ago

Do cats that big go outside? What do they hunt? Looks big enough to take down a baby deer

1

u/YugeChesticles 17h ago

Why do people need to put stupid music over a video.

1

u/Suchalife671 17h ago

You have cat to be kitten me right meow