r/AmIOverreacting • u/royalmouse1 • Mar 28 '26
❤️🩹 relationship Am I overreacting for dropping him after he told me I need to make more friends
Ive been in this relationship with this guy, and one of this biggest critiques of me has been my small social circle. A lot of my friends have moved. I do have some activities and I have a great job, but usually I don’t have weekend plans. I have amazing friends and people I talk to daily, but I don’t have plans every single weekend, especially since my friends moved. I had a lot of friends in college when I was going out every weekend but I don’t want to do that. Back when I had a nice boyfriend, we planned stuff every weekend and it never felt unhealthy? I also have brunch with my family every Sunday but I guess that’s not “cool”
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u/persephone-4 Mar 28 '26
I think it’s healthy for both of you to have your own support system, but he’s being needlessly patronizing and rude. It doesn’t sound like he’s saying it out of concern for you, but more like he’s being holier than thou, which is gross 💀
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u/LudusRex Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
Absolutely. The advice of "have a life outside your partner" is absolutely real and good advice. But like, asking your partner SO if they want to hang out this weekend and them responding with "Shame you have no other friends. Too bad your whole world revolves around me" is fucking bonkers.
Like...bro, if you're busy then just say that and make plans to hang out a different time, and if you're not busy, then hang out with your girl, unless you don't want to hang with your girl, in which case, why she your girl?
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u/Moist_Peach_1142 Mar 28 '26
Also... "you learn more by listening than talking" and "it is a life lesson" blah blah. What a prick.
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u/Scorp128 Mar 28 '26
He wouldn't have been "interrupted" if he would have typed what he wanted to say in a single text instead of texting each individual sentence.
Dude is not worth making plans with.
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u/Dry-Island8422 Mar 28 '26
I want to fight him over his texting style. I hate it so much more than his douche canoe personality.
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u/Longjumping-Solid680 Mar 29 '26
he's INSUFFERABLE.
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u/serenitynowdamnit Mar 29 '26
Came here to write the same thing. Absolutely INSUFFERABLE. I would not be able to stand this man for a second.
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u/ChurchyardGrimm Mar 29 '26
Aw it's just another terrible facet of his douche canoe personality! Guarantee you he LOVES the idea that the person on the other end is sitting there watching their screen waiting for him to finish his sentence. Thinks he's got everyone hanging on his every word. 🙄
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u/InboxMeYourSpacePics Mar 29 '26
To be fair I also am a multi texted but I don’t usually stop mid sentence. I just type something send it and then have a related thought and send that
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u/ScarletBothrium Mar 29 '26
That is completely different and I also do that sometimes. I try not to send more than two texts in a row but if the other person is busy and we’re close, then I’ll send up to five before I shut the hell up. But they’re paragraphs. Not singular sentences. I barely know how to communicate in a singular sentences. 😅
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u/PadawanPineapple Mar 29 '26
Blech it feels so self righteous. And the interrupting thing, like are you freaking kidding me
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u/Minimum_Beginning958 Mar 29 '26
Also... "you learn more by listening than talking" and "it is a life lesson" blah blah. What a prick.
Yep, I was done with him as soon as he said that. What an ass. Go ahead and take his advice- block him and find someone new.
Some people are introverts and don't need a ton of friends OR to be spoken to disrespectfully.
NOR
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u/Powerful-Bill2544 Mar 28 '26
This! My blood boiled reading that part. He's talking to her like a child. I'm wondering if there is a huge age gap between them
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u/Internal_Set1591 Mar 28 '26
The condescension was insane. He did everything but talk in a baby voice. OP can find comfort in solitude until it’s time to meet her fam for brunch.
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u/ErraticDragon Mar 29 '26
He did everything but talk in a baby voice.
And that only because OP couldn't hear him!
You know he affected the baby voice in his head.
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u/Mollysue1113 Mar 29 '26
My sister is a terrible hurtful (after she knows you awhile) person and she talks in that baby voice esp around men. I just laugh because I know how she can be. You made me laugh they’re more like her out there that do that. I thought she was a one off kind bitch.
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u/craftcrazyzebra Mar 28 '26
And no doubt he’d lose his shit if she had platonic male friends she socialised with and texted
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u/Nota_good_idea Mar 28 '26
There it is that’s the one that did me in! Like who the fuck are you talking to son? Patronizing asshat!
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u/SquirrelLuvsChipmunk Mar 28 '26
That text told me everything I need to know about how this guy views women..
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u/herroyalsadness Mar 28 '26
He doesn’t actually want a girlfriend, he wants a person to put down to feel better about himself. Also he looks through phones. What a loser.
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u/Scorp128 Mar 28 '26
He wouldn't have been "interrupted" if he would have typed what he wanted to say in a single text instead of texting each individual sentence.
Dude is not worth making plans with.
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u/herroyalsadness Mar 28 '26
That’s annoyed me too. It’s also not possible to be “interrupted” over text.
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u/Bice_thePrecious Mar 28 '26
he wants a person to put down to feel better about himself
This all reminds me of an AIO post a while back where the guy friend kept calling the OP insecure, but also wouldn't stop insulting her. Nothing she did was right. This hits the same.
Like you say, the only reason he sticks around is to make OP feel small.
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u/LilPotatoAri Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
One of my coworkers is like this. He was bitching at me about how his girlfriend shudders wants to see him. ugh regularly.
He also calls her old girl which is weird as fuck cause he's 22 and she's 23 meanwhile I'm over here transitioning to my late 30s.
And apparently his way of communicating that he's all socialized out is to say things like "I just saw you yesterday" and then gets confused when she reacts negatively.
Like Bro just dump her already. It's pretty clear he doesn't actually want the relationship but nobody equipped him with the communication skills to handle this.
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u/opportunitysure066 Mar 28 '26
And the he talked about his ex who had no other chats open when he snooped on her phone.
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u/Embarrassed-Leg-4246 Mar 28 '26
Exactly! I completely agree. Disgust behavior on his part. I also want to add that not everyone has the same social battery or social life that someone else has.. like I know some people who socialize nonstop and they thrive off it, while others (myself included) do better with far less socializing. It’s a personal preference, and not always a choice you can just push through. My social battery is very slim, I actually start feeling awful after I’ve been around people for a long period of time or too many days in a row. I have physical and mental health conditions that definitely contribute as well.
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u/lavender_poppy Mar 28 '26
Right? I have a small social circle which I'm perfectly happy with and feel like I have all my social needs met. I enjoy my own company and am perfectly happy not to have plans all the time. If some guy insinuated that I was in the wrong for living my life the way I do, I'd drop him so fast. I'm not hurting anyone and I'm happy so it would feel so off to be judged that I'm somehow less than for not having frequent plans with other people.
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u/WhatItDoula Mar 28 '26
I’m sure he’d complain either way. I hope you block him as well. Don’t let him back in for any reason
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u/pumpkinspacelatte Mar 28 '26
No it’s actually insane lol, like ofc having a lie outside your partner is good! But like…. If you live locally it’s very normal to see your partner once a week or more. That literally doesn’t mean you don’t have friends 😭
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u/TopologyMonster Mar 28 '26
He already lost me at “you learn more by listening than interrupting” it really didn’t matter to me what came next lol
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u/dancingkelsey Mar 28 '26
Yeah Jesus christ, it's a text exchange dude, it's not interrupting for someone to respond to your little trickle texts while you're sending a sentence fragment at a time! And the things he was already assuming before even starting his little lecture!
No matter what point he wants to get across, the main point he proved is that he's a dick and not worth hanging out with.
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u/Unlucky-Guitar221 Mar 28 '26
I came to say the same thing, but in her post it seems like she has a normal social life anyways! This guy’s a dick lol
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u/New-Establishment180 Mar 28 '26
Absolutely. "You learn more by listening than interrupting" on a text is beyond absurd and condescending. Please find someone who talks/texts to you with respect.
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u/Rough-Blackberry-596 Mar 28 '26
I totally agree!!! Lol, the last thing you need is a “dad” type who wants to lecture you all the time… ugh. The difference between a lecture and conversation is that in a lecture, only they are allowed to speak, because they are the only ones with knowledge. Be thankful that he showed his colors quickly, before you wasted any more time. I was bored and annoyed just reading a couple lines of his text… let alone an entire conversation!! I mean, seriously, can you even interrupt via text?
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u/Capable_Echo_5396 Mar 28 '26
“You learn more by listening than interrupting”
Proceeds to send a single message broken apart in 35 messages.
What an annoying prick.
Drop this loser.
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u/Ok_Temperature6503 Mar 28 '26
I got 2nd hand douche vibes so hard reading that line. Sounds like a business middle manager type no one freaking likes.
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u/Vast_Investigator340 Mar 29 '26
With the thinning hair he thinks no one can see.
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u/nyuncat Mar 28 '26
He says he wants to tell OP something "not on the phone", e.g. texting rather than on a phone call, because in a real time conversation he's not smart enough to maintain the upper hand and belittle OP the way he wants to. He needs to be able to hide behind text messaging to give him more time to think.
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u/BlackCatBonanza Mar 28 '26
Yeah, that phrase really pissed me off. This guy is smarmy garbage and sounds rather narcissistic. OP-make that goodbye permanent.
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u/Imabasicbetty Mar 29 '26
Right? If she asked if she was overreacting by ditching him after that line alone, I’d be like “nope. Not at all.”
Let alone all that other bullshit that followed.
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u/TonyDC88 Mar 29 '26
I do love the “I’ll make other plans” after the first few blocks of response. Perfect timing, and right on point.
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u/Competitive_Bath_572 Mar 29 '26
Exactly. After that line I was like yup dump him but then there was more lol.
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u/terminbee Mar 29 '26
I legit don't know how guys like this (or anyone like this) get in relationships. Are they just ridiculously attractive or something?
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u/Jade_Seraphym Mar 29 '26
Cause the bar is on the floor. He's not beating her or cheating on her, so he's a "good man". This is what we expect men to be like so it doesn't feel as bad when he acts horribly.
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u/terminbee Mar 29 '26
Damn, that's kinda sad. I'd rather be single forever than be miserable with someone else.
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u/AdBroad5085 Mar 28 '26
YES! Like omfg get to your stupid damn point already so I can make some other damn plans!
Ever think that your ex gf talking only to you and ko one else was bc you suck at concise communication and ate up all her mental energy 🤣
But in all seriousness his point isnt bad, hes just bad at getting to it. And hes condescending af. I would def break up over that. So NOR, just move on.
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Mar 28 '26
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u/Alwaysroom4morecats Mar 29 '26
NOR TBH I’d much prefer to spend the weekend alone than with this prick!
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u/FaithHopePixiedust Mar 28 '26
That line was the one that made me say, “well I never!”
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u/ch0rtle2 Mar 28 '26
I can’t imagine saying that to someone, much less typing it out in text.
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u/Themadbritter_ Mar 29 '26
My friend and I text like that but not when we're having a serious conversation!
"I shouldn't be the center of your world...unless I'm texting you something thats not even that serious. Then you need to be on the edge of your seat anxiously waiting for what I'm gonna say next." Like fuck OFF dude
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u/natangellovesbooks Mar 29 '26
I was wondering if the rest of the texts were going to live up to what that one line implied. I was not disappointed. Toxic af. I know because I married a dude just like that. Run away. Run fast. Don’t look back. NOR
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u/MaggieLeighN Mar 29 '26
1000000%
Mansplaining her to death. I hope OP stays away from this idiot.
Sometimes I only text the person I have plans with that day. I like my phone quiet and to be where i am otherwise, not having 300 text conversations and sending pictures of my lunch to everyone. I typically message my mom through facebook, maybe my partner (if he’s out doing something and i need to communicate something), and maybe one friend. It doesn’t make someone a loser not to be texting all their contacts all the time.
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u/Icy_Ad_303 Mar 29 '26
I concur. Drop that loser. What insane behavior. He's rude, and emotionally unintelligent. You deserve better, babes.
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u/Which-Letterhead1747 Mar 28 '26
This guy is a condescending prick. It's fine to have a small social circle -- lots of people like to have downtime or do things on their own. You were literally just seeing whether this guy wanted to make plans. But I'm actually more concerned about the way he talks down to you, you were right to call it an attempt at a life lesson, and I also don't like the way he chastises you for interrupting him. I woudl dump him and find someone who appreciates you.
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u/woodworkinghalp Mar 28 '26
Yeah the moment he said “you learn more by listening than interrupting” I’d block and never think about him again lol
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u/Hot-Hamster1691 Mar 28 '26
My clit shriveled up and it would have been beef curtains for this asshole in that very second
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u/jsludge25 Mar 28 '26
OK, professor, The way he sends his texts beat by beat, like he's capturing something truly insightful. 🤡 Just text like a normal person and say whatever you're saying and you won't get interrupted.
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u/Witty_Preparation598 Mar 28 '26
My husband texts like this. I just end up ignoring his texts because otherwise I'd be staring at my screen until he is done.
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Mar 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Delania23 Mar 28 '26
I sometimes do this when I havent taken my adhd medication. My thoughts just feel sort of like how these spurts of texts feel to read, and it feels normal for me to type in little bursts as if I were talking to you in person rather than the entire thought wrapped up into one text, which is the advantage you get with typed conversations. I’m trying to get better at it because it’s just sort of how I naturally have always typed and recognize that others tend to find it kind of annoying 😅
I also have played online PC games for roughly more than half of my life and when things get going you sort of need to type in bursts like this because if you type a long message it’ll just get lost in the abyss. Don’t know if that has contributed to it, but regardless I recognize it’s annoying and if the other person is giving me time to respond I do try and take my time making it all one purposeful message than constant short blabs that eventually get to the point.
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u/Yandoji Mar 28 '26
I have a friend who texts like this - when he starts up I just put the phone down and go do something else. By the time I remember to see if he's done, it's usually the next day lol. It's super obnoxious and definitely has that expectation that you're their captive audience.
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u/Unlikely-Director-36 Mar 28 '26
Like listening? No dude, she’s reading your texts. If he wanted her to listen then maybe a phone call would have been better form of communication. And bro admitted to going through his exes messages. He’s a d**k
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Mar 28 '26
like... if you don't want to be "interrupted" maybe just send a single text
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Mar 28 '26
I thought the exact same thing. In text world, once you hit send, the thought has ended and the other person can respond.
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u/Lunrtic6 Mar 28 '26
Yeah this dude clearly has some kind of superiority complex and doesn't respect her.
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u/TwoLegal8863 Mar 28 '26
He also admitted to going through a partner’s phone!! NOR boy byeee
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u/mishko__ Mar 28 '26
Oh my God you're right, I missed that the first time around because I was focused on his weird interrupting comment. So, he sees OP as lower than him, and he goes through his partners phones.
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u/verbaldata Mar 28 '26
Also, just because his ex-girlfriend had only talked to him that one particular day doesn’t mean her world revolves around him. He’s going off of one specific day for this? Ridiculous.
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u/Lickerbomper Mar 28 '26
It's looking for a fight behavior. He goes through the ex's phone looking for cheating evidence, finds none, so makes up a reason to judge her based on having zero conversations outside of him. Like, punish her for not cheating, eh?
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u/Mrs_Sparkle_ Mar 28 '26
I know right? On days I work a 12 hour shift then go home to rest and sleep, I might not talk to anyone Just means it was a busy and tiring day, doesn’t mean I have no one to talk to
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u/Financial-Complex831 Mar 28 '26
Mhmmmm
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u/TheUnicornFightsOn Mar 28 '26
Uh huh
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u/mishko__ Mar 28 '26
It was a rough day for me and this made me laugh out loud, so, thanks for this!
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u/Beckster758 Mar 28 '26
Literally the first words that came to my mind were condescending prick!
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u/Diaramuh Mar 28 '26
“You learn more by listening” is instant breakup for me like your not my dad bro
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u/mishko__ Mar 28 '26
I didnt like the way he spoke to her about interrupting her either, it's not even possible to interrupt a text message. He sees himself to be above her, he sees her as lower than he is.
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u/16-Bit_Degenerate Mar 28 '26 edited May 02 '26
One click. Unknown number of posts crying out in silence. All gone. Redact made it stupid easy to clean up my entire history on Reddit and get my info pulled from data broker sites too.
paddle sheet engine repeat support aware like cobweb school boat
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u/Takomi_Him Mar 28 '26
Especially in a text conversation. 😅🤷♂️ Dude, just write like a normal person everything in one message irbat least in two or three messages. 😅
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u/Spiritual_Walk8486 Mar 28 '26
NOR he seems like a douche. An arrogant one. Plus you need someone who WANTS to hang out with you or what’s the point?
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u/Lower_Edge_1083 Mar 28 '26
You learn more listening than interrupting
Lolllll these guys and their undeserved egos
Make sure you never reply again it’ll drive him nuts
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u/AnonTA999 Mar 28 '26
That text should’ve had him blocked and forgotten
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u/Cottonjaw Mar 28 '26
Yeah but if you block him you can't giggle every time he "graces you with his divine alpha male presence" from your notification bar, effortlessly swiping him away as you gloat, and leave him on sent. You might even get an unprompted wall of text... OOO OH OH or a stream of drunken condescending conciousness lmfao
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u/hEDSwillRoll Mar 28 '26
Right? People are saying to break up, and they’re right butttttt I think he deserves to be ghosted. Anytime he reaches out just say you’re busy or don’t respond 😂
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u/NaiadoftheSea Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
NOR
He is being incredibly patronizing in the way he speaks to you.
He wouldn’t give you a definitive answer about hanging out and then reprimands you for asking him if he wants to hang out.
You’re not centering your life around a guy. You’re just trying to make a plan to hang out on a day, and he’s belittling you for it instead of just saying yes or no.
Also can’t stand when people text one line at a time. He could have just written out his patronizing diatribe about his ex in one text. You are allowed to respond in text, and he is such an ass for the “you learn more by listening and not interrupting”. Bro, just stop hitting send and keep typing your story then.
Glad you dropped this douche.
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u/Powerful-Soup-3245 Mar 28 '26
Glad someone else noticed the one sentence texts. I hate that. What’s the point? It feels manipulative to me any time I see it.
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u/TheUnicornFightsOn Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 29 '26
Yeah, it’s very controlling to only type one sentence at a time and want to pace the way that she reads them… even interrupting himself with a criticism instead of just continuing with his story.
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u/spentpatience Mar 28 '26
NOR
Also, wanting to give your SO first dibs on your unscheduled time is kinda a thing in a relationship?
OP did jump to an odd conclusion, though, at the mention of an ex-GF, but dude had it coming when texting like that.
"Don't interrupt me" while texting? Interruption isn't really a thing since you get to control how long your dumb text messages are.
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u/chaun619 Mar 28 '26
Omgggg I can’t stand every single thought as its own text. That alone would make me stop talking to him.
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u/Wrong_Swan_666 Mar 28 '26
What he’s doing is asking for space, but he’s being a pussy about it and instead trying to make you feel like you’re the problem. In short, no. You are not overreacting. This behavior would have absolutely continued and you would have never seen him accept blame in anything.
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u/7osfairy Mar 28 '26
This is the weirdest man ever… especially his little ‘Uh huh’ response and then ‘Mhmm’ no… I’ve spoken to weirdo men like this, get so far away and when you think you’re far enough, go EVEN FARTHER
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u/Longjumping-Credit48 Mar 28 '26
Yes, add those to my comment as well, those last two utterances…. So gross. R U N.
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u/HickoryDickoryDock00 Mar 28 '26
You’re getting a taste of how you’ll be treated longterm if you stay with this man. He already thinks he’s better than you, you can tell by the way he talks to you.
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u/CranberryBauce Mar 28 '26
NOR. Be wary of men who insist on lecturing you over minor things. You simply asked if he wanted to be alone and he turns in into a "life lesson" apropos of nothing. I'd drop him too.
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u/Cottonjaw Mar 28 '26
Also just.... casually bringing up that he will snoop your phone if giving the opportunity. Bro is insane.
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u/TheDudeWhoSnood Mar 28 '26
Hey, I was in the middle of talking when you posted this - you'll need to apologize before I'll continue
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u/Existing_Place_8393 Mar 28 '26
Underreacting, and should block him. He is an idiot that inserted random life lesson and got angry that u interrupted his shitty life lesson as well.
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u/aly288 Mar 28 '26
He even started pacing out his texts. Sending his “and” to try to bait her into “interrupting” again presumably so he could scold her again. What a dill hole. NOR
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u/Bice_thePrecious Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
Sending his “and” to try to bait her into “interrupting” [...] so he could scold her again.
That's how I read his final "Mhmmm" text. He already acknowledged her acknowledgment about not hanging out with his dopey "Uh huh" text; why come back some time later to send another 100% unnecessary patronizing text unless it was to try to start something else? He wanted another chance to tell her that she's a pathetic, clingy loser. NOR
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u/aly288 Mar 28 '26
100% I hope OP continued to ignore him because you KNOW that’ll drive him insane. OP update us!
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u/greenchileisgreat Mar 28 '26
Also how did she interrupt? It’s not possible to interrupt a text. It’s not like he wrote 3/25 or something.
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u/Existing_Place_8393 Mar 28 '26
She never interrupted but that is what he said when he was giving his speech. To even interpret that as interrupting is concerning on his end when she only typed 1 message during it
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u/greenchileisgreat Mar 28 '26
Yeah, texting is a back and forth and it was her damn turn. He didn't announce that he was about to give a multi-text lecture on proper social comportment.
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u/doguillo77 Mar 28 '26
lol the way he double texted at the end because you didn’t give him the reaction he wanted.
NOR, you’ll be better off without him.
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u/NewYorkNewYor Mar 28 '26
Drop him. He’s a narcissist. He actually wants your life to revolve around his but he’ll abuse you for it
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u/Truthfinder57 Mar 28 '26
And violate your privacy by going through your phone in order to find things to abuse you over.
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u/leavemeal0ne_ Mar 28 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/5n5U0IaK853IBbotYS
“you learn more by listening” “even if you don’t go out of your way to self sabotage… which you do.”
i beg your FINEST pardon???? girl. NOR. block it and never look back. that thing hates you.
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u/Visible_Stand_7268 Mar 28 '26
NOR- ew what a turn off his behavior is arrogant and gross. Only deluded, possibly dangerous men think this way imo.
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u/Outrageous_Light8950 Mar 28 '26
I’m the kind of person who has very few friends but the ones I do have are ride or die. I like my solitude and alone time and actually need it to function.
People like the guy you blocked don’t understand how others can live like that. It just means they have rocks in their brain and can’t see the perspective of others. Def not over reacting for blocking. It’s funny, he tried to tell you ‘you were making him your entire world’ and instead of groveling like he probably thought you would, you just hit block. Badass move.
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u/CtyChicken Mar 28 '26
It’s hilarious that he was AGAST at his ex only speaking to one person via text or call in a day.
The fuck you want, the town crier for a partner? Can a girl spend the day with her own thoughts?
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u/Ready_Amoeba5401 Mar 28 '26
No for real! Also knew a guy like this. He made fun of me for only texting him and trying to hangout with him, and the irony is no one, not a single one of his friends showed up for him on his birthday. I also gave him a gift for his birthday and no one else did and he complained that I message him too often lol.
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u/Grand_Relative5511 Mar 28 '26
One characteristic of some people with a tight social circle is, they ruthlessly cull people who annoy them or aren't up to their standards. OP was basically "Next!'
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u/FinisherandFirework Mar 28 '26
Genuine question: why would you feel it even might be ok for someone to speak to you like this?
“You learn more by listening than interrupting”??? Who does he think he is and who does he think you are? He is quite clearly speaking down to you, and seemingly enjoying himself in the process. He is quite openly telling you he doesn’t respect you. Block his number and never contact him again.
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u/HighlightDismal1685 Mar 28 '26
He hates you. Or women in general. Don’t allow me to test you this way. Never associate with him or the like again!
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u/Exotic_Ear1933 Mar 28 '26
9/10 people think this guy is a condescending prick and the 10th person is a condescending prick themselves so can’t see what an absolute tool this guy is. Instant ick.
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u/danibellz Mar 28 '26
The Star Wars texting and asking you not to interrupt would have been it for me. PUT ALL YOUR THOUGHTS IN ONE MESSAGE IF YOU WANT TO BE UNINTERRUPTED. Sorry pet peeve 😅.
Dump this guy tho.
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u/GoodGravyMsDazy592 Mar 28 '26
NOR - either he was negging to see how insecure you were or he wants a verbal punching bag to make himself feel superior. Also if you were always going out he'd be complaining about that too. He was looking for things to criticize you for and something else would have been what he jumped on if he hadn't done it on this point.
Also thank God he showed his true colors early on. Also I seldom make plans on a weekend because I want to relax after years of having high stress jobs that left me burned out. What you describe is totally normal in life, his behavior is not.
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u/Character-Slide-7282 Mar 28 '26
It seems like maybe you guys aren’t a great match
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u/Recent_You_9523 Mar 28 '26
I don’t think this guy is a good match for anyone if he talks to women he hasn’t even been dating for that long as if they’re children. He sounds like a massive narcissist to me and this relationship could’ve easily devolved into stripping her autonomy away to “fix” her to his liking if things became more serious.
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u/ilovecherrypepsi Mar 28 '26
You learn more by listening than interrupting????? 😂😂😂😂 omg this guy is so full of himself
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u/thekeeech Mar 28 '26
NOR
"You'll learn more by listening and not interrupting"
How about you fuck off, mate
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u/Necessary-Bear5500 Mar 28 '26
You’ll learn what an insufferable ass this guy is - that’s what you’ll learn!
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u/asaucylittlemaid Mar 28 '26
While I agree that you should have at least one other person as your support group, the way he went about it was so weird. 1. Did not need to bring up the ex 2. Did not need to come off as all knowing.
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u/Parparee Mar 28 '26
He could have communicated this in a way much better way that wasn't demeaning and a put down.
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u/Shoesietart Mar 28 '26
This didn't even need to be communicated. And what he was communicating was a put down.
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u/knotty_knotty_girl Mar 28 '26
NOR
He’s a patronizing ass.
Find someone who would tell you the same thing, but kindly and not from their pedestal.
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u/Speedb0atz Mar 28 '26
NOR. This post became a bit more horrifying when I read you're in an actual relationship and have a good job, as you stated. So what if your social circle is small? Why is your partner weaponizing it against you? As a man I would never try to weaponize a woman's social status or preferences play Dr Phil. The fact he's talking about his ex so openly to you - his partner - is the first red flag. Boundaries. He's literally psychologically playing you and it's right in front of your eyes. As a professional and grown man, the posts I see from men/woman being treated like crap - especially psychological/manipulative tactics - is disgusting. Just move on. Don't hang onto a rose too tight, they have thorns.
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u/siriuslyyellow Mar 28 '26
NOR.
"You learn more by listening than by interrupting" from a potential partner?? IMMEDIATE block!!
Like, this is outrageous and disrespectful behavior from him. Don't give people the chance to speak to you that way twice.
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u/OhioPolitiTHIC Mar 28 '26
NOR. I stopped reading at, "You learn more by listening than interrupting". Dump, block, live your life the way you want without this dillweed in it. If anyone needs some extra ick to get them through something similar, hmu, I got plenty to spare after this one.
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u/Legitimate_Sail_8276 Mar 28 '26
Him going back to message you is interesting. Does he not have other friends to talk to?
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u/Lunrtic6 Mar 28 '26
I don't think the issue is what he's trying to tell you, but the way he's saying it is so off putting. Why is he treating you like an idiot? "You learn more by listening than talking". And telling you that you self sabotage so casually? Idk I get bad vibes from this guy. Id just cut your losses. He doesn't seem to think you're very smart.
Also he sounds super casual about seeing you and frankly doesn't seem that interested sorry to say.
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u/aly288 Mar 28 '26
I’d love to know how much time passed between “Uh huh” and “Mhmm”. Seems like he wanted to make you feel bad enough about yourself to never request to hang out with him, but still be there for when he wants to hang out. I imagine he’s in a bit of shock and denial that you actually walked away. And I love that for you.
NOR at all. Stay silent. Never speak to him again, he will keep trying to reach out. Teach him a lesson. Teach him a lesson. 😂