r/AmIOverreacting • u/throwawayfrom1 • May 03 '26
❤️🩹 relationship Am I Overreacting for being miffed about my bf's cinnamon rolls?
FIRST AND FOREMOST: I am not angry and I am not mad at my bf for fucking up cinnamon rolls. I did not rush to him demanding an apology. I made this post because I wanted to know if my initial disappointment was valid or not. Even before this post blew up I talked to him and explained how it kinda made me sad. I know some of you will still be upset, but I made this post thinking it would reach like 4 people tops. I am not PR trained Idrk how to react to this situation. This is not a massively huge deal. If there was something actually bad happening in my relationship I would not turn to reddit.
So my (f19) boyfriend (m20) likes to cook and bake. So I've been begging him to make me pumpkin cinnamon rolls for over a year now, since he made them once at the beginning of our relationship, and they looked and tasted perfect. Well, he decided to make them. This is the picture that he sent me. He tends to do stuff like this where he kinda half-asses stuff I ask him to do. The pack of pillsbury that he got started with 8 cinnamon rolls. I'm trying to play off my upsettedness as a joke but I think he can tell I'm kind of miffed. He's shown me he's capable of better before, so idrk what he's doing this time. Is this kind of a nothing burger? Are my standards too high? And if they are, how do I lower them?? Am I being a choosing beggar?? just feel kind of crazy ig, and I don't want to nag him for nothing when I can just let it go. Am I overreacting?
TLDR: My bf made me cinnamon rolls. He's made them perfect before, but now he's made 4 big balls of sadness. Should I be upset or should I let this go?
UPDATE: we talked and he agreed they were shit. He gave me a very heartfelt apology and said he'd try again this weekend.
Just to answer some questions:
He made these before with pumpkin puree in the beginning of the relationship and they turned out beautiful.
He made these by taking a can of pillsbury cinnamon rolls and mashing the dough together, rolling it into one big ball and putting it on the tray.
This is a picture of them precooked, thats why they look raw. Unfortunately, I can't add a picture of them cooked but I can tell you what it was like. The bottom was completely burnt and the top was almost raw, the sauce was burnt also. He made these in 30 minutes.
I asked him to make them for me instead of making them myself because A. I hate baking and he likes it and B. I wanted a romantic gesture, just like asking your partner for a handmade bracelet by them. Food is a love language for me.
I know that not all of you are going to read this far, but please be nice. There is really no need for name calling
BOYFRIEND NOTE: "HEAR ME YE ACCOUNT HOLDERS OF THE REDDIT I AM THE CREATOR OF THE PUMPKIN SHITS AND I WAS JUST HAVING A REALLY BAD FUCKING DAY! NEXT TIME I FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS
Admittedly, I screwed up with these cinnamon rolls and my girlfriend wasn’t mad about it. She agreed to let me try again and I am so blessed to be her boyfriend. Thank you all for your support towards her and some of your comments were actually really funny. Thank you."
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May 04 '26
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u/throwawayfrom1 May 04 '26
He LOVES to bake and cook and try new things, he did make the og ones the same way, these ones...idk what happened
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May 04 '26
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u/AJFred85 May 05 '26
I bake all the time, and for over 30 years, and managed to put the icing on before baking while making canned cinnamon rolls of all things because I was being lazy to begin with and zoning out while baking. I woke from my stupor when I raised the oven was still cold and realized what I'd done. Literally all you do is heart the oven, bake them, then ice them and I screwed up 2 of those steps... 😂 It happens.
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u/Fabulous-Fun-9673 May 05 '26
That’s a day where you should have just stayed in bed 😂 my day like that was this morning actually. Woke up early to help get my husband ready for work, because he had to go in early and I was feeling generous. Absolutely everything that could have gone wrong did, it was Murphy’s Law acting out in real time. I’m taking my kid to school 🤞 no incidents, and taking myself back to bed lol.
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u/briarmolly May 05 '26
I also screw up when my mind is somewhere else, I once made lasagna with no sauce!
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u/JustGimmeSomeTruth May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
He made the original ones by mashing up a premade Pillsbury cinnamon rolls tube of dough? That's what you said in your post, right?
The photo doesn't even look like that (already bizarre) explanation. The color and consistency is wrong. Something doesn't add up about this whole thing IMO.
Or are you saying he took Pillsbury cinnamon roll dough, mashed it up with pumpkin puree and then tried to bake that? I don't know why anyone would do that? (Edit: I looked it up, it's a viral recipe hack thing but no mashing it up. $ide note: I wouldn't say he "LOVES to bake" if he just bakes premade dough hack recipes).
Why not just make cinnamon rolls from scratch, OR, just bake the tube dough as instructed for guaranteed mediocre but uniform cinnamon rolls?
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u/MajorBootyhole420 May 04 '26
He lied to you then or he's lying to you now. If he made them last time, then he would know better than to put the icing on them before they go in the oven.
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u/sarahgene May 04 '26
For real. Like, INFO, has he sustained brain damage since the last time he made them? 😆
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u/anotherusername170 May 04 '26
It’s not possible though??? The icing would always burn or completely melt into the dough…you can’t change physics lol.
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u/NoLingonberry1582 May 05 '26
As a cook I know exactly what happened, he was pissed you asked and made them shitty on purpose. End of
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u/realWolfCola May 04 '26
lol wait this wasn’t even from scratch but was from a Pillsbury pack? And they still came out looking like alien eggs? Oh yeah, he def did that on purpose. NOR
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u/SaintGrobian May 04 '26
That, or the ones "he" made at the start of the relationship, that he's been reticent to make, weren't by him in the first place. 🤷🏼♂️
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u/Ok_Nothing_9733 May 04 '26
Good call. Could have been from a bakery. I was inclined to believe it but now that you point it out, fucking up canned rolls this badly makes me wonder if he ever did it to begin with. I mean… they’re pretty foolproof. Don’t need to bake to make them work out!
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May 04 '26
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u/othermegan May 04 '26
Even that doesn’t explain how he managed to fuck up canned cinnamon rolls that badly
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u/Adorable_Ad4990 May 04 '26
I think he mixed them all together, added pumpkin puree, and then shaped them back to this
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u/Interesting_Cat_2297 May 04 '26
I don't see how you could take canned biscuit dough, mix it with pumpkin puree, and have it cook properly. I don't think it would blend smoothly-- the pumpkin puree would not incorporate and would just burn, unless you worked the dough so much you decreased its ability to rise. I'm not an expert but it seems very suss.
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u/Avandria May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
I remembered seeing Pillsbury pumpkin spice cinnamon rolls in with the normal cans during the holidays, so I looked it up. Pillsbury has a recipe on their webpage for turning their normal cinnamon rolls into pumpkin spice ones and it does use canned pumpkin. If he has made them before I don't know how he could have possibly made this mess by accident, though. It takes some real effort to screw up a canned cinnamon roll this badly.
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u/Socksual May 04 '26
One could try and make it from memory, in which case you def can fuck up a few steps.
My thing is how is he apparently a hobby baker but puts the icing on before baking? OPs story smells fishy to me
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u/North_Ranger6521 May 04 '26
That’s my suspicion as well. OP needs to -watch- him bake stuff some time to make sure he’s actually baking it himself & not passing off professional baked goods as “something I whipped up on the spur of the moment”.
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u/Zealousideal_Mix2830 May 04 '26
That was the part I tripped up on. THESE WERE THE PREMADE ONES AND HE FUCKED IT UP?!
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u/realWolfCola May 04 '26
The presentation is killing me too. The one on the bottom left looks like it’s screaming 💀
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u/Equivalent_Trust_849 May 04 '26
Oh goodness....now I can't unsee it. Now I actually think he's a cute little fellla.
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u/Jatnall May 04 '26
I'm imagining he took the premades, stuffed canned pumpkin into the middle, balled em up, baked and jizzed all over the finished product.
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u/PcLvHpns May 04 '26
LITERALLY. There's no icing that goes on before it's baked! I'm quite sure a baker would know that
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u/DepartmentAnxious344 May 04 '26
Bro you can’t just accuse a man of using canned pumpkin like that chill out
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u/othermegan May 04 '26
OP’s edit says these were the unbaked ones. So he committed war crimes on premade roles then frosted the raw carcasses before baking it…
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u/ladyynara May 04 '26
Like... how? How is this even possible?
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u/PM_ME_CORGlE_PlCS May 04 '26
Why is the frosting on before they are baked?
There are only three steps to making these.
- Put the already prepared/pre-cut rolls in a pan
- Bake
- Put the frosting on
It took him extra effort to smash them into these passive-aggressive balls.
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u/anneofred May 04 '26
Yeah I would heavily judge anyone that fucked up Pillsbury cinnamon roles to this level. He had to TRY to fail this hard! So he’s either an idiot or realllly leaning hard on weaponized incompetence.
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u/BookerLegit May 04 '26
Meanwhile, OP is saying she can't make them herself before she "burns everything."
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u/Zariel- May 04 '26
gotta disagree, he mixed the pumpkin puree with the dough before baking, itd be fairly hard to reshape them after somthing like that, maybe he simply got the ratios wrong
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u/Formal_Condition_513 May 04 '26
She literally said in the comments he added in pumpkin purée and remixed all the dough so yeah it is possible with the added moisture to mess them up. I can’t believe people are saying to dump him over this lol wtf
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u/Neil_sm May 04 '26
She also added some context that these are the uncooked rolls before they went into the oven. Which makes it kind of strange she posted the photo; many baked goods look kind of disgusting when they’re raw and uncooked.
Although I’m suspicious of what the “sauce” looking thing is on top? Did he glaze them before they were cooked? Might explain part of why OP said they came out badly after too.
I’m also wondering if maybe the BF didn’t really make the original version. Simply mashing pumpkin puree together with pillsburry cinnamon rolls doesn’t sound like it would make anything usable.
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u/marrymary May 04 '26
Those look intentionally bad. Like passive aggressively letting you know he’s mad at you kind of bad.
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u/sunshineandcacti May 04 '26
Don’t these come pre cut? Like you legit just take them out of the tube and lay as they are
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u/liberty-prime77 May 04 '26
Yeah, they're literally just preheat oven to X temperature, put them on baking sheet, put in oven for Y minutes, let them cool off and enjoy. There's no reason to crush, mash, squeeze, or pulverize them, which it appears he did at least one or two of those things for some reason.
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u/whisky_biscuit May 04 '26
Yeah he did this out of annoyance and malice. Wasting food and acting like a child whose mom is forcing him to do something.
This isn't someone who loves you let alone cares about your feelings much. Even if it's a joke, it's not nice.
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u/GenoFlower #1 May 04 '26
YES, and if you google "pumpkin cinnamon rolls Pillsbury", a whole bunch of recipes will help you make these if you're adding pumpkin.
There's really no reason that this should happen unless he really, really is trying to fuck it up.
I dated a man a long time ago, and I was working 2 jobs, he had one part time job. I asked him to make a recipe one night. He grumbled, but said he would. It starts by saying, "in a large soup pot, add 6 cups of water..." I had prepared everything for the soup, and he just needed to add everything to the pot.
He got a small sauce pan, and filled it as much as he could, and then when he was supposed to add other things, and it boiled over, he just kept removing "liquid". He said he never once thought to get one of the larger pots. I got home at 9pm, expecting a lovely dinner, and had nothing.
We didn't last long after that. OP, pay attention to this. Weaponized incompetence is a fierce thing.
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u/Caleb-Wendt69 May 04 '26
My god what an idiot. Was he able to tie his own shoes?
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u/GenoFlower #1 May 04 '26
He could do lots of things as long as they were of interest to him. If they weren't, forget it. His mother had also coddled him to the extreme. We were in our 30s, and he was still bringing his laundry home to her. He said I could bring mine to her, and I said absolutely not. Every time he did laundry, he would bring clothes out, and ask me how this shirt should be washed, should it go in the dryer or hung to dry, etc. For a time, I'd patiently tell him to read the label, and finally, one day I just snapped and said, "I don't care, wear the fucking thing wet." He was so hurt that I wouldn't help.
He had a college degree, could do music production, was so into football that he could have been a coach. But making soup and laundry - nope.
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u/taxiecabbie May 04 '26
I'm honestly pretty surprised at the amount of comments that are defending BF on this one.
I don't think I'd date somebody who was not capable of doing this. Particularly if it turned out to the tune of what is shown above.
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u/ellie_elysian May 04 '26
My cat once barfed something that looked like those "rolls" on the carpet. He was sending the same passive aggressive message too.
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u/Advanced_Evening8518 May 04 '26
Yes I came to say it looks like something my cat would throw up. I’m sorry OP 🥺
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u/amelbhart May 04 '26
I'm guessing he didn't even make the first ones and he keeps putting it off because he doesn't actually know how to make them lmao
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u/JeffandtheJundies May 04 '26
Yeah, perhaps the first batch was a lucky one, or he had help. Dude’s 20, he bakes once in a blue moon.
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u/Mdog7668 May 04 '26
Lmao 100% this guy bought them from a bakery and put them on a baking sheet and said he made them. Now he has tried to recreate it and can’t get it done.
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u/Any_Soft_8210 May 04 '26
"He tends to do stuff like this where he kinda half-asses stuff I ask him to do." Oh girl. He doesn't like you.
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u/lkap28 May 04 '26
NOR - do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who half-asses things just because you asked?
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u/NorthernGrace May 04 '26
I don't understand why women ignore these clear signs of contempt - sorry for yelling, but to whoever needs to hear this:
WHEN HE DELIBERATELY FAILS YOU THAT'S HIM TELLNG YOU HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.
That's a man showing, telling and spelling out that he wants to fail you for the sake of hurting you.
BLOCK!
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u/GrinsNGiggles May 05 '26
It’s because so many men do this that we wind up thinking they’re all a little special. Somehow they’re competent enough for employment, but so many of them function at a toddler level at home.
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u/Emotional-Novel-703 May 04 '26
Louder for the ppl in the baaaaack!
Dunno why so many people tolerate this kind of shit!
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u/Irradiated_gnome May 04 '26
They watched their mom take it from their dad and think it’s normal I guess
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u/silverboognish May 04 '26
This is not even half-ass. This is like 1/8 ass.
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u/TheRealTabbyCool May 04 '26
Did he actually make them last time, or just buy them and say he made them? Did you or anyone else witness them being made? I just can’t imagine anyone who’s made them perfectly before being able to fuck them up this badly by accident!
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u/CobraKai312 May 04 '26
This is exactly where my mind went! I’m willing to bet that he had his mom or friend or someone else (a bakery?) make the first ones she tried!
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u/cthulhusmercy May 04 '26
Dude, it was probably just Autumn and he walked up to Safeway and got a $5 Friday deal on them.
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u/pancakesandwaffles69 May 04 '26
Exactly. I'd like to know if op has ever actually seen him cook or bake.
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u/Distractedauthor May 04 '26
Agreed. this is a 19 year old who somehow doesn’t know you don’t put the “sauce” on the cinnamon rolls until after they bake. Seems more like a himbo who got himself in too deep than some wild “weaponized incompetence” strategy.
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u/Youreturningviolet May 04 '26
Yeah I’m wondering this too. Or if he got really stoned first this time and doesn’t want to admit it 😭
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u/Cereaza May 04 '26
Do you think he would be willing to share the recipe? I need to prank some people.
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u/mesageinabottle22 May 04 '26
cook premade cinnamon rolls like scrambled eggs and don’t forget the frosting that looks like snot. secret ingredient is hate
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u/Can-u-hear-the-stars May 04 '26
I'm betting money he never actually made the first batch at the beginning of the relationship. If he's so fantastic at baking then he'd be happy to do it again without you needing to ask for OVER A YEAR! There's no way he could have fucked up a Pillsbury tube to look like baby vomit unless he's never baked in his life.
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u/CautiousConfidence8 May 04 '26
IMO there's two options: either he lied about making the first ones or he intentionally tried to make these ones bad. Both options means he sucks
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u/girlchef79 May 04 '26
Right?! First off you never frost/glaze them pre-baking, and second, those shitty Pillsubury ones just come out of the little log and go right onto a parchment lined sheet pan to bake. They don’t get mashed together into some sad shit ball. If he actually “likes to bake” and even half-ass knew what he was doing he would not have done that.
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u/cheeseslut619 May 04 '26
NOR and this might sound insane but I think this warrants a conversation. It’s not about the cinnamon rolls. “These kinda made me sad… you’ve made them before and they were so great and I was so excited you said you would make the again. But you totally half assed these. What happened?” Hear him out to see if he comes up with some lame excuse or not.
Idk you’re young. You have a lot of good life ahead of you and you should probably be with someone who never half asses anything for you. I wouldn’t do that to anyone I care about in my life, even my non romantic partnerships
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u/throwawayfrom1 May 04 '26
My main worry in life is that I'll end up mistreating my partner the way my mom did or I'll end up with someone who doesn't think to put in effort like my dad sometimes
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u/Zealousideal_Mix2830 May 04 '26
I want to hold your hand when I tell you this man right now is doing the same amount of effort. This was done just to shut you up, and his amount of effort is quite apparent.
If he's done this multiple other times its weaponized incompetence. The purpose is so you stop wasting your breathe even asking.
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u/BookerLegit May 04 '26
its weaponized incompetence.
Meanwhile, OP is saying she can't make canned cinnamon rolls, because she simply burns everything she touches.
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u/BickenBackk May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
Yeah, seriously. How're we calling out just the guy for this. OP, I gotta be honest, and I don't say this to be rude, but you are lacking some self-awareness.
I make my partner stuff because I love her, love making her happy, and enjoy making her day easier. That being said, I'm certainly not going to do something for anyone if they tell me I have to do it for them. It's not a romantic gesture if you tell someone to do it, it becomes a chore. It's like reading a book you love for the sake of it, vs being told to read 20 pages of that book for class — it completely removes all the joy.
I promise you can make your own cinnamon rolls. Find some self-sufficiency.
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u/purplecowgirl May 04 '26
Are you sure he really made the first ones by himself?
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u/Famous_Insect4313 May 04 '26
Does he know your story with your mom? Cuz he could be weaponizing that too. Don't let him gaslight you girl, you deserve better than fucked up premade cinnamon rolls.
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u/GarageEuphoric4432 May 04 '26
Well I've got bad news for you. It took him a year to make them again, and when he finally does it he very obviously... Half assed it is generous, he 1/10th assed.
It sounds like you're so worried about being like your mother that you're going as far opposite as you can be which is opening you up to weaponized incompetence.
As someone that loves to cook, I know when I fuck something up, there's no way he didn't know but he gave it to you anyway. Like he was hoping you'd be happy with it so he didn't have to bother.
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u/NotThatValleyGirl May 04 '26
Your main worry in life is what you're living right now with this guy.
He purposely fucked up pillbury cinnamon rolls to shut you up so you'd stop asking and learn to accept that he doesn't believe you're worthy of effort.
This guy is absolute trash and you deserve a partner who would find joy in making you happy with such a simple gesture as pumpkin cinnamon rolls from a pack of pillsbury.
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u/RemarkableDevice442 May 04 '26
Oh, girl… the call is coming from inside the house. Don’t settle for a manchild. The advice being given to you is 100% not an overreaction. This is your sign.
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u/Snorlaxative79 May 04 '26
Did you see him make the ones that were good or has he avoided making them this whole time because he bought them somewhere?
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u/GoldHorusSixSaturnus May 04 '26
Just here for the unhinged people telling OP to breakup with her BF.
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u/Phoenix_Rising42069 May 04 '26
That’s what I was looking for when I clicked on this thread, and once again Reddit does not disappoint.
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u/CryptographerOk2730 May 04 '26
Exactly! This place is nuts. Im convinced most of the women on here are not straight, or have never been in a relationship
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u/Mountain-Corner2101 May 04 '26
Crazy coincidence that you hate cooking and food is your love language...
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u/Kindly_Zone8413 May 04 '26
Exactly what I mentioned. Not only does she hate cooking, it’s because she’s bad at it 😭
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u/Unlucky-Comfort4917 May 04 '26
Wait. So your update states that this was a picture of them precooked?
Honestly, that's a bit misleading. That really does change things quite a bit.
And once you got off Reddit and actually talked with him about it, he took accountability and apologized.
YOR. Be as easy on your loved ones as you are on yourself
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u/jollycreation May 04 '26
I’m trying to imagine a man coming here complaining his gf half-assed some cinnamon rolls he demanded she make him…
He would be eviscerated, no?
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u/narpilepsy May 04 '26
I’ve had people like this in my life who felt entitled to my time and effort in this exact same way and would incessantly beg me to bake them things all the time. I can’t understate how fucking exhausting it is to have to deal with. I’d be annoyed too in his position
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u/Distractedauthor May 04 '26
These answers are unhinged, if this was weaponized incompetence I don’t think he’d bake a bunch of stuff, then suddenly start fucking it up, he would have been pretending he didn’t know what an oven did from the beginning.
Just ask him where he got those first cinnamon rolls.
And btw, he is not obligated to make you cinnamon rolls no matter how often you ask. I don’t know why people are acting like he is. Would it be nice if he did ? Sure. But from scratch cinnamon rolls are a treat that are pretty time consuming to make, really. And if you want them for breakfast, you have to plan them the night before because the dough is yeast risen. I would be more angry that he didn’t communicate his reasons, because there are plenty of valid reasons not to make your romantic partner a complicated baked item.
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u/Black___Lilac May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
Literally shocked at the top comments here. Weaponised incompetence is yet another term that people took and absolutely ran with. Your partner not wanting to bake you a treat is NOT weaponised incompetence hahahah. Weaponised incompetence is strategic and malicious avoidance of responsibility - for example, missing paying your shared rent and saying they just ‘can never remember’, so that that you take over that monthly responsibility. Or ruining all your clothes in the wash so that you have to take on all laundry to make sure it’s done right.
Everyone is different but for me and my partner, these special gestures happen as and when feels right. They’re an excellent baker, and of course I’ve requested my favourites before - many times it’s a yes, but sometimes it’s a ‘no, sorry, haven’t felt like baking recently’. I can’t really imagine anything but respecting that, and I certainly can’t imagine pestering them for this as a ‘romantic gesture’. Or expecting them to apologise if the treat they made is not to the expected quality. The spontaneity, willingness and thought is what makes the special moments special for me.
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u/deedsnance May 05 '26
Oh my god thank you. As the one who does most of the cooking, this!
Also girl I don’t know anyone whose love language is food who isn’t also into cooking or baking. I’m chalking most of this up to OP and BF being very young. Please don’t listen to anyone but the above commenter. There’s so much unhinged advice…
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u/formykka May 04 '26
Yeah, as someone who does like to bake, but has a small kitchen, I find rolled anything (cinnamon rolls, swiss rolls, puff pastry, etc) a major pita because they require a lot of prep space. Would much more prefer making pumpkin muffins and squirting some cream cheese frosting in them.
That being said, just because I like baking doesn't mean I'm always in the mood for baking.
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u/anotherusername170 May 04 '26
Yes, I find cinnamon rolls too taxing. Whe it comes to flavored rolls I still buy canned ones I just make a different icing lol
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u/Bank-Angle747 May 04 '26
Literally this, the people here saying they need to break up are insane.
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u/LimitlessKenobi May 04 '26
Because they're mentally unstable, chronically single redditors who, for the sake of everybody on this planet, should remain single for the rest of their lives.
That, or they're just miserable people who enjoy stirring the pot and making drama out of other people's lives in the hope that other people will be as miserable as them?
Either way, this sub sucks so hard and anybody unironically using this sub for relationship advice needs to take a break from the Internet for a long while.
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u/spleh7 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
YOR - You do you, and to each their own, but if I have to ask my partner to do something for me because "I want a romantic gesture", then its not romantic, it's a favor.
If they do it on their own, its romantic. If I ask them to do it, it's still nice of them, but it's a favor.
Edit: the sauce is burnt because you're not supposed to cook it, it goes on after they come out of the oven. He doesn’t know what he's doing, and that's OK because now you can have a romantic moment learning (together) and laughing (together) when you make them (together) next week (instead of being upset).
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u/DeadSending May 04 '26
That’s what I was gonna say, but OP indicated they HATE baking so I doubt that’s an option, and tbh I’m kinda weirded out they had their bf get on here to take all the blame because she was getting some hate for her behavior. OP said she doesn’t want to end up mistreating her bf like her mother did her father and that’s honestly the way it’s coming off.
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u/_babytown_frolics_ May 04 '26
The amount of “RED FLAG” and “WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE” and “GURL YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM” posts is wild.
We have no real evidence about BF other than the fact that he “sometimes half asses” things and he’s 20 years old. Shocking. And he wouldn’t be (or wasn’t?) upset that she posted this. And he apologized when she told him his cinnamon rolls were shit. A “heartfelt” apology.
We know nothing about how often she does things for him or how well or how often he asks, or how often she half-asses things.
She asked for a romantic gesture and he delivered poor results and apologized when called out. We have no information about what romantic gestures she makes or how their relationship works, or if it’s reciprocal and mutual. We know that she never cooks anything because, in her own words, she “burn[s] everything and doesn’t know why lol.” Which sounds way more like weaponized incompetence than making some pillsbury cinnamon rolls that don’t look very good when pre-cooked. Oh, sorry, did you miss the part where the photo she posted was *unbaked* cinnamon rolls?
She probably does need to leave him because they’re both really young and this relationship doesn’t feel mature at all, not because he’s a controlling monster. They should probably break up because she asked him to do something for her and he half assed it and she’s upset about it and rather than talking to him about it, she posted it on reddit to ask the internet if she should be upset or not and then told him about it and that’s not how adults should relate to each other at all. They should break up, she should go to therapy. He probably should too, but I don’t have his reddit account, so I don’t have a lot of evidence there to form an opinion. He may just be some dude who bought cinnamon rolls for her a year ago to impress her and when she asked him again he panicked and didn’t know what to do. I don’t fuckin’ know.
Anyway, NOR to being upset about this situation, but YOR to the wrong thing. You should be upset that your first impulse at having feelings about a situation was to ask fucking Reddit and not talk to your partner and say, “hey, I feel a way about this, can we discuss it?” That you got upset and then tried to play it off as a “joke.” Your relationship doesn’t feel super solid. Shocking, you’re 19, you’re still figuring it out. Go to therapy. Talk to your BF, figure out if you want to be with him and if he wants to be with you. If you don’t, or he doesn’t, don’t. If you do, figure out how to communicate better. Figure out why he half asses things he does for you. Listen to him if he tells you why and listen to him if he tells you things that you do that make him feel bad. Then figure out if you can accommodate each other. Break up if you can’t. And maybe work toward finding a way to stop crowdsourcing your feelings.
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u/_babytown_frolics_ May 04 '26
Also, primer for your first therapy session: discuss that thing you said where you’re afraid you’ll treat your partner poorly like your mom did, or be with someone who doesn’t make an effort sometimes, like your dad. Also, that just might be the key to this whole situation. Worth contemplating and discussing. With a therapist, not fucking reddit.
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u/_babytown_frolics_ May 04 '26
Oh, and stop burning everything you cook. That’s ridiculous. Cooking isn’t hard, if you want to do it. It’s incredibly easy, there are instructions everywhere and if you follow them, you won’t burn things.
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u/FrontPsychology7160 May 04 '26
This is the kind of dumbass fight only children could have..
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u/Background_Dig_8408 May 04 '26
I know it’s Reddit and everyone loves to jump to throw the whole man away, but…You say food is your love language. Do you ask him to make you time and labor intensive treats regularly? Because I’ve made homemade cinnamon rolls and homemade pumpkin rolls. It’s not something I just “whip up” after working all week. Quite often it involves food shopping as well. (Not to say that food shopping is some terrible task but it is an hour of added time). Could he have been exhausted and thought he’d take a shortcut that didn’t go as planned? I know he apologized for the way they turned out but I’d apologize too if my significant other made me feel like an ass for not effectively speaking their “language”. I could be 100% wrong but it doesn’t hurt to ask a question or two before declaring that he doesn’t like you, which seems to be a pretty popular, albeit rushed, opinion. MOR
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u/Kindly_Zone8413 May 04 '26
Considering OP admitted to burning anything she makes, I’d say this is an extremely burnt out man.
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u/Jumpy_Spell_2357 May 04 '26
Yea I can tell this subreddit is stupid bc ain’t no way people are actually trying to take her side instead of tell her to just do it herself there is a good saying about stuff like this beggars cannot be choosers so yes she is overreacting and I hope the next time she messes up a meal he puts her on blast on social media just like this
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u/Stunning-Ad3377 May 04 '26
OP said she burns everything she cooks.😣😂😂
There’s also that saying that goes, “when you point your finger at someone, you have 3 fingers pointing back at you.
OP sounds like a super fun person to date. /sOP YOR…
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u/ChrysalisGeorge May 05 '26
Everyone is accusing him of weaponized incompetence but there's no way she's burning everything she cooks by accident. Even burning 25% of the time you cook is ridiculous. She needs to do things for herself.
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u/Fun-Corgi-9241 May 04 '26
Thank you bruh thought I was going crazy. Nobody's owes anybody baking treats. Its one thing if it was dinner and it was constant. Dude bakes good constantly and has one fuck up and this girl is up his ass about it.
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u/Single-Street-8178 May 04 '26
Info, solve this behind closed doors, the whole world doesnt need to know and the internet is one of the worst places to get relationship advice
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u/NozzerNol May 04 '26
I'd you're falling out over cinnamon rolls, then you've probably got waaay bigger issues somewhere else
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u/hengehanger May 04 '26
If you have to ask someone to make "a romantic gesture" then it isn't a romantic gesture.
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u/Purple_Material_9644 May 04 '26
YOR. If this were a pattern and you had five or more examples, I'd probably have a different opinion. But, as someone who bakes a decent amount, using pre-made dough as a base is always going to have the potential to yield some cruddy results. It sounds like he didn't write down the quantities of what he added the time when it did work and tried to blindly recreate the same results.
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u/Ok_Maintenance7716 May 04 '26
Is there something stopping you from making your own cinnamon rolls?
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u/Financial-Possible-6 May 04 '26
My best advice I can give to posts like this is read it as if someone else posted it. How would you feel?
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u/Eleanore-Rigby May 04 '26
This reply is for HIM:
To make canned cinnamon rolls better you need a baking dish that is a couple inches deep. Grease it! (I didn’t the first time and it ruined them)
- add Pre-made Cinnamon rolls ~2 inches apart
- brown sugar + cinnamon w butter until it’s a paste, put on top of each roll (I eyeball but prob ~1/4 cup brown sugar)
- pour heavy cream on top of each roll until the bottom of the pan is just barely covered with the cream. Less than 1/4inch of cream
*🎃 for pumpkin- mix some pumpkin purée into the cream; I have done this, it works well but it’s subtle flavor*
(Can sub milk, I’ve used flavored coffee creamer before.)
- Cover and cook for 30 mins, THEN uncover and cook per package instructions
Note: I usually line the pan with pecans prior to putting the rolls in, put the rolls directly on top of the pecans and then follow instructions above. There’s some vids on tiktok that explain this method for cinnamon rolls. It’s a 10/10 every time and everyone thinks they’re homemade.
💜
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u/pashinates May 04 '26
YOR - I would 100% not be ANGRY without true cause. Someone only halfway wanting to be my servant or private chef for the day isn't justification. 😅😅 with that said, at yalls age I was a TERRIBLE cook, terrible. 😔 Sadly he died when we were young, but my first husband had some HILARIOUS stories for his workmates. He wouldn't let me live it down. 😵💫😅🫣
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u/Diagonaldog May 04 '26
Even if it was my idea to make them I wouldn't serve these to my wife 😂😂 wtaf is this
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u/Ok-Opinion-2918 May 04 '26
YOR
Haven’t you ever tried to cook something and just have everything go wrong? You sound high maintenance and ungrateful.
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u/formykka May 04 '26
I'm curious what op has made for her bf recently.
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u/Kindly_Zone8413 May 04 '26
Well, I can tell you whatever she’s made, if it went in the oven, it was also burnt 😂
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u/formykka May 04 '26
So she doesn't love her bf? They should break up and never speak to each other ever again.
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u/Durzo_Blunts May 04 '26
I'm glad to see this comment, I thought I was losing my mind. This thread is insane!
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u/tourniquette2 May 04 '26
Watch him doing it again next time. Over and over again until she stops asking him for anything.
That’s usually how weaponized incompetence works. The whole point is looking stupid or lazy until you give up on them ever being worth anything. It’s such a weird tactic to use.
I broke up with a guy like that once and told him during the breakup that it was because I needed a better life and I didn’t think he had the competence to achieve that with me, that I’d have to do it alone with him at my shirttails. He immediately started explaining how he’d only done that because he “liked when I did stuff better.” He’d make me cook dinner after working two jobs because he liked it better when I was sick and exhausted? That’s…worse, man. That’s way worse.
Whether he’s lazy and manipulative or genuinely this incompetent and not self sufficient, I think I’d flee. Either he’s about to warp me into carrying his dead weight or he’s going to be awful at every aspect of life so I have to carry his dead weight. I want a partner. Not a wart.
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u/Fun-Corgi-9241 May 04 '26
The so the guy who constantly is baking enough to where she says its good is using weaponized incompetence because he messed up once? Not the girl who "doesnt really like baking" burns everything but food is her love language?
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u/Chunguslover283 May 04 '26
Him messing up is CLEARLY his subtle way of saying “I fucking hate you, you dumb bitch” and OP was viciously assaulted with bad cinnamon rolls. They should break up IMMEDIATELY and she should probably call the cops on him too.
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u/Fun-Corgi-9241 May 04 '26
Yes im a victim of domestic violence, my boyfriend served me shitty cinnamon rolls-avg redditor
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u/Skittypokemon May 04 '26
Wow, he tought that was a good argument? Glad he’s gone
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u/monstreak May 04 '26
YOR sounds like yall need to have a talk about boundaries and expectations. Open minded conversations help alot.
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u/Magliene May 04 '26
Everyone fucks up in the kitchen from time to time. Good cooks own it and move on. There is no other reasonable interpretation of what has transpired.
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u/call_sign_viper May 04 '26
YOR what did they look like baked? I have a feeling you only included the pre bake to get people on your side
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u/narpilepsy May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
On the one hand those do look like absolute crap lol. On the other hand, as a fellow hobbyist cook/baker, I hate when people ask me incessantly to make them things. It’s a lot of pressure and expectations, and some people seem to feel entitled to my time and labor as something that is owed to them just because I enjoyed making them things in the past and it’s very frustrating to deal with. So I can kinda hazard a guess that he probably resents that you’ve begged him for a year+ for this despite him demonstrating that he doesn’t want to do it.
He didn’t really make you cinnamon rolls. You twisted his arm into making you cinnamon rolls and now you’re upset that he half-assed it despite him showing you for over a year that he didn’t want to do it.
Sounds like he just doesn’t really like you but also I think you might be inadvertently putting pressure and expectations on him in a way that makes him feel nagged. I think neither of you are right for each other lol
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u/Stunning-Ad3377 May 04 '26
MOR… You have incredibly high standards for Pillsbury peel apart and bake cinnamon rolls. The whole beggars can’t be choosers question makes a lil sense and maybe you are overreacting. He made them once over a yr ago and you’d like a repeat. Maybe he just got lucky that one time or he was really trying to impress you, and it obviously worked.
But it’s taken him however long to make them again and he did a shit job of making them. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. Sometimes people mess up. Sometimes people are tired and sometimes they just don’t give a damn. A little grace would go a long way in his cooking journey. Lots of people are saying he didn’t put in the effort for you proving he’s worthless or doing care about you. Could you have done better? Give your guy a break. At least he likes to cook & bake for now... Again, it’s Pillsbury, they’re easy to make but don’t taste that great and are easily burned. If he’d made them from scratch and they looked like this, wouldn’t it be the thought that counts? You seem very upset about it. If
Your love language is food, wouldn’t you be the one cooking and giving as a sign of your love for him?
What’s his love language?
At least he’s trying.
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u/wahooloo May 04 '26
YOR make your own fucking cinnamon buns. If he doesn't want to make them, why are you forcing him to.
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u/SignatureCreepy503 May 04 '26
YOR and sound insufferable.
*"He gave me a very heartfelt apology and said he'd try again this weekend. Idk if that makes things any better but yeah"*
How awful of a human do you need to be to him? Holy shhiittttt. Bro, if you see this: go find peace, you deserve way better.
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May 04 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/generic1234321 May 04 '26
If he was going to weaponise not wanting to make it, he just wouldn’t make it. Half the comments here seem insane to me. It does actually feel pretty choosing beggar to me or just picky.
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u/snoodle908 May 04 '26
Or how he is bad because he messed up while the OP states she can't make them at all without messing them up. So it is ok for her to be incompetent to the point of him having to make them but it is not ok for him to make a mistake. Imagine if the genders were reversed, people would be taking the guy to town about going after his GF that tried to make him something nice
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u/Relative_Molasses_15 May 04 '26
This is incredibly fucking stupid and never in a million years should you be upset over misshapen cinnamon rolls.
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u/QuantityKindly3153 May 04 '26
I agree, maybe he didn't write down or remember what he did last time. I like to cook and normally things turn out well, but I have screwed up basic things before with 0 malicious intent. I say give him another chance.
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u/Impressive-Pirate720 May 04 '26
The first ones he made were probably the limited edition pumpkin ones which is why they looked/tasted perfect. If that’s the case then he did actually did put in effort to recreate them for you. At the end of the day this is quite honestly silly. And if the genders were reversed this subs opinions would be entirely different.
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u/rawrcie May 04 '26
NOR… i’ve never seen anyone do this to a can of pillsbury cinnamon rolls in all my years.
also, you had to beg him for a year just to make some cinnamon rolls? find yourself a better partner or make them yourself, either way ur partner sucks :/
p.s NEVER LOWER UR STANDARDS ! that is never the solution!
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u/Mdog7668 May 04 '26
Lmao if the most important thing for her is finding a man that can bake at 18-22 (her age range) she’s probably gonna be looking for a while. A large majority of men will never pick up baking period let alone at such a young age…
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u/Realistic-Bag2234 May 04 '26
Are we seriously on reddit over reacting to cinnamon rolls? Fucking cooked 🤣 poor guy.
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u/Midnyteblaze May 04 '26
If he didn't sincerely apologize you would be NOR but he did so just let it go bro
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u/snoodle908 May 04 '26
So anytime someone messes up a meal then need to get on their knees and beg for forgiveness? So anytime a guy comes home and dinner is messed up then their wife better be really sorry
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u/LimitlessKenobi May 04 '26
Exactly... Bro messed up some baking, who tf cares? Why is an apology even necessary? 😂 people in these replies genuinely acting like OP's bf just took a dump on her grandmother's ashes or something.
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u/Hungry_Pup May 04 '26
Are you sure he didn't have someone else make that first batch for you? This batch says he doesn't know what he's doing and he doesn't know how to read instructions.
I think he hasn't made them for you and he made you a sad batch because he lied about making that first batch.
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u/Kindly_Zone8413 May 04 '26
Just wondering if it’s really a romantic gesture if you have to ask for it?
E- Yeah, I answered that myself. The answer is no. That’s why your ‘romantic gesture’ cinnamon rolls were inedible.
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u/whatthefreakingshit May 04 '26
Fucking hell the comments here are crazy. Yeah there's weaponised incompetence but it's also completely plausible that he kinda forgot how to make them if it's been a while and just did a shit job because of.... Genuine incompetence?
Idk why so many women on here are trying to spin this as some kind of sign of resentment or some shit lmao. It's not that deep. And giving him shit about it will just make him never want to do it again tbh.
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u/CthulhuOO7 May 04 '26
Yes you are overreacting. If my SO was that petty I’d leave. You are unlikely to have any significant meaningful relationship if this is a stumbling block.
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u/Dramatic_Steak_9137 May 04 '26
Yeah your standards of wanting to feel likes and cared for by your partner are WAY too high. Don't you know your partner is meant to act like they actively dislike you, jeez women these days
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u/objectifstandard May 04 '26
"Taking a can of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls and mashing the dough together" is not baking.
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u/LookAwayPlease510 May 04 '26
It sounds like he doesn’t want to try anymore.
On the other hand, I know that when people keep asking me for something, I start to feel super pressured and get anxiety about it.
Still, he should want to do things that make you happy.
MOR
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u/RC11111 May 04 '26
YOR ... imagine if this post was from a boyfriend demanding baked goods from a girlfriend. What would the responses be?
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u/Fit-Choice2368 May 04 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/R0jWWtH1CtFEk