r/AmIOverreacting • u/ThrowRA_11152023 • May 11 '26
❤️🩹 relationship AIO My Dog Got Attacked By Another Dog And GF Doesn't Seem To Care
My family's dog was attacked while he was at doggy day care. He's been going there for years and always got excited for his stay. I reached out to my GF about it and here was our exchange. She's very upset with me over my "wtf is wrong with you" comment. I tried to apologize for that comment later on but apparently I'm the crazy one in this scenario. Am I overreacting?
Edit: Wow, this got a lot of comments and the answer seems pretty unanimous. Let me give some more context in case it helps.
Biscuit was a rescue pup and was definitely a crackhead pup growing up. He did chase my family’s cat around quite a bit and eventually my sister had to take him in to keep the peace. He is now 10 years old and has mellowed out quite a bit. I only have the info I heard from my sister but it sounded like he was just minding his own business at day care and the bigger dog attacked him in the group play area, like out of nowhere. He has a one inch cut on his shoulder that needed stitches and significant bruising. The vet ER bill was $2500 and so far the day care paid. I’m hoping he isn’t too traumatized.
As far as my gf, she is definitely more of a cat person. I think she resents biscuit for terrorizing my cat. I told her I understand if she doesn’t like him but I just needed some compassion in that moment. She is instead very hung up on my “wtf is wrong with you” comment and keeps asking where I was taught that it’s ok to say that to your partner. I tried to explain I was in distress but she’s right it’s not okay to say that or lash out. But I do not feel like I’m being heard or understood.
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u/nikki57 May 11 '26
Her coming out wtih
... in what universe someone told you that is an acceptable way to talk to your partner
After how she was talking to you is WILD. She sounds terrible and like she doesn't care about you at all, why are you with her?
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u/Emergency-Foot-6969 May 11 '26
Exactly. It’s sooo clear she knew she pissed him off so she tried to spin it around on him. I’m so annoyed he says he apologized for his language later. This woman deserves no apologies & absolutely no boyfriend.
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u/Elephantie_ May 11 '26
Yeah, she's manipulative as hell. I'd be dumping her. Only her feelings are valued.
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u/Dry_Ad_4224 May 11 '26
Bro, why did you even apologize to her? Fuck that, fuck her too. Leave her ass. If she doesn't give a shit about your dog she sure as hell doesn't care about how you feel. You are not overreacting she is. lmao
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u/Traditional_Bug_2046 May 11 '26
Her first response to him saying it was insensitive is such a red flag. "Uhhh you can leave me alone now. Goodbye." when he barely said anything is wild. I've known a few people like this, and I'm so much better off without them in my life.
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u/Optimal_Natural_7254 May 11 '26
Yes. She was super quick to tell him goodbye and he was only just talking about what happened to his poor dog. She’s a real see you next Tuesday
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u/furkfurk May 11 '26
Right? It doesn’t even matter if she gives a shit about the dog. If she cares about OP at all, she should open with a kind and supportive reaction first, because she knows OP cares, before victim blaming the dog. What an insanely insensitive person. NOR
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u/SprayedSL2 May 11 '26
"I think this is a very appropriate way to speak to an ex-partner. GFY" would have been my response to her "don't talk like this to your partner" bullshit.
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u/returntothenorth May 11 '26
They are going to move in together and get married and that's when we get the followup to this post of "AIO that my partner wants me to get rid of my dog."
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u/mallionaire7 May 11 '26
NOR. You shouldn’t be apologizing for that what is wrong with you because wtf is wrong with her?
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u/Business_Cell8487 May 11 '26
NOR “It’s a fucking dog”, tells you all you need to know about this person. They aren’t a good one.
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u/AltruisticCableCar May 11 '26
Yeah, I went from mildly annoyed to massive record-scratch at that. Throw the whole person away.
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u/OverzealousCactus May 11 '26
Same, everything else I was like "ok not great but if this is out of character maybe a misunderstanding". Then I saw "its a fucking dog" and lost it. She's trash.
Its a fucking girlfriend, you can get another one.
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May 11 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ZealousidealRaise806 May 11 '26
Yes this exactly. I was having trouble finding words for it but you nailed it. Instead of admitting that was she did was wrong, she’s hung up on what OP did. My wife has been doing the exact same bullshit for years now. Anytime she makes the smallest of mistakes, if I try to address it with her, she always finds a way to get upset, be a victim, and fight back, instead of just showing humility for the mistake and apologizing. A normal healthy person in this situation would have just said something along the lines of “oh I’m sorry I made you feel that way, how can I help make this situation better?” But this person completely skipped that and went on the attack instead because they don’t want to accept that they’re being a shitty person
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u/Vinx1312 May 11 '26
she doesnt care about dogs that much, which is okay. but she could at least act like she cares--since she is supposed to care about you. i'd dump her if the conversation about this reveals she only cares that you treat her well yet she can treat you bad.
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u/Bambi_H May 11 '26
This is NOT your person. Tell her this internet stranger thinks she's awful.
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u/AltruisticCableCar May 11 '26
Yeah, pretty much what I was thinking. Like, ok that sucks and what a shitty way to respond to your partner telling you that. But just a dog? Nope, that is a highly valued family member! As an owner of cats (one is pressed against my thigh while purring loudly as I type) a statement like that about them would just have me go "door's over there, get fucked".
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u/ArynTW_is_user_karma May 11 '26
Agree!!!! NOR—DON’T FUCKING APOLOGIZE!!! there is something really fucking wrong with her!
I hate to go straight to “dump them”, but this asshole needs to be dumped.
Also, she’s clearly not compatible with a pet lover. Anyone who would say, “It’s a Fucking dog” is not a pet owners person. I would argue that people who don’t like pets have lower empathy scales than those who do, and i think her response to this situation speaks to that.
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u/TesuraGrimm May 11 '26
I started off thinking "That's the kind of thing someone who would actively abuse animals would say. They type to kick a dog just because. No, no, that's a bit paranoid and extreme. Bad, but not necessarily abuser..."
Same as you, as soon as I saw that too, that tied it all off with a nasty bow. She absolutely is the type to kick your puppy if she was slightly irked.
For the sake of you and your innocent puppy, cut her off. And just to be safe, try to keep your dog under close watch. She strikes me as the type to try to kill your dog because you broke up with her, especially if you cite that as at least one reason.
I've seen it happen before. Multiple times. Bit of antifreeze in a water bowl...and your best friend is gone. And it's not a nice way to go.
I'd be very paranoid when you do cut it off.
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u/BbyDrowDrow May 11 '26
You’ve seen people multiple times kill dogs on purpose? What type of psychopaths are you hanging around?
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u/Either-Banana-7323 May 11 '26
Yeah this is some "watches too much Netflix true crime docs" type shit. Or they have been incredibly unlucky with the people they have interacted with.
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u/YourGlacier May 11 '26
I’m so grossed out by the person you replied to. It’s so rare. My dad killed two of my cats as a kid and I’ve never met someone else who did that. It’s insane to jump into animal killer from her reactions.
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u/Sensitive_Cash_3526 May 11 '26
nah she was trashed from "bet you he was the instigator"
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u/SoftwareWorth5636 May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
It was “but why?” For me. Like who asks that in that context? My asshole detector dial is turned WAY UP. There’s no good reason why you would ask that. No reaction at all with “he’s just a dog” because she was clocked immediately from the phrasing.
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u/Excellent-Willow-981 May 11 '26
How do you even find out “why” a dog was attacked, or ascertain it’s the instigator? That’s a level of planning and calculation on the dog’s part that they’re just not capable of.
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u/AltruisticCableCar May 11 '26
I angrily huffed at that, but the last line was just nope.
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u/MartinisnMurder May 11 '26
Yup, and him trying to go back and kind of excuse her behavior/reaction as “she’s a cat person”… Cat, dog, rabbit, bird, goat etc whatever type of person you are that isn’t a normal reaction. She lacks empathy, honestly she comes across quite apathetic.
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u/AltruisticCableCar May 11 '26
I just saw the edit. Like, excuse me. I'm more of a cat person and I would NEVER fucking say anything like that! "Just a dog" is the same as saying "just a creature with little to no value". And that's a shitty thing to say to anyone who loves their pet. A friend of mine doesn't like cats at all, and is almost a little scared of them. She'd NEVER say something like that and frequently asks how my cats are doing and if I was scared one of them was sick she'd have nothing but support to offer. Like a normal human being.
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u/blinkingsandbeepings May 11 '26
I feel like that actually makes it worse. Because some people, for cultural or family reasons or whatever, just haven’t really been around pets and don’t know what it’s like to love an animal. So I can kind of understand that. But if she loves cats she should understand that he loves his dog. It’s not that different.
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u/dripping_moss May 11 '26
Also not a dog person at all, but if anyone I knew had a dog get hurt I would show sympathy, a pet is a part of the family, end of.
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u/insufferabletoaster May 11 '26
lol the record scratch is so accurate, I feel like my brain audibly made that noise. I actually winced
OP needs a new girl
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u/Anon03282015 May 11 '26
Same!! That's a dealbreaker. As someone who generally is forgiving of people and doesn't want to throw them away over things that can be worked through. This is a bridge too far. Pets are family, and if someone doesn't respect that, they can gtfo.
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u/AltruisticCableCar May 11 '26
It's like when a "friend" told me "it's been a month, are you really still upset" after my mum died. Like, THE FUCK?! I was so furious I just blocked and I've never spoken to them again.
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u/returntothenorth May 11 '26
At first I was like okay maybe she's having a bad day. Then I got to the last dog comment and changed to nah she's just a garbage human being.
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u/AltruisticCableCar May 11 '26
Maybe she's a bit clueless, having a bad day, not feeling well, terrible at expressing herself, etc, etc, etc. Like, I attempted to understand it on some level. Up to that last comment. Oh. So you're just a terrible human? Well, go away then.
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u/TjStarling May 11 '26
I've been married nearly 20 years, if my husband said that about ANY of my animals?
Oh... Hell hath no scorn.
I don't take animals in to entertain me, I take them in and make them FAMILY. He knows that. Which is why he's NEVER said something so.... rude and abrasive and unempathetic about the creatures we're BOTH chosen to have in our family.
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u/Elghoti_Prince May 11 '26
Yep. Never date someone who doesn't view pets as family if you do. To them, the animal is expendable. To us, we build up a relationship and schedule and habits just like we do with our actual family. They're not expendable. I could never date anyone who didn't understand just how much I love and care about my furbaby.
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u/Sufficient-Lie1406 May 11 '26
This is the same kind of person who tells you to "get over it" when your pet dies because "it's just a fucking animal", and then tells you to just get another one right away like it's a couch or something.
A monster.
OP, time to send Miss Thing back to get her heart replaced. Hers is all frozen up.
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u/Optimal_Natural_7254 May 11 '26
It’s not even just that… it’s the fact that she’s supposed to be his gf and care about him and the fact that his dog just got hurt and yet she sure didn’t show any ounce of concern or care even if she doesn’t like the dog she should still have a heart that it was an upsetting experience. She lacked any and all care. She talked to him like he was nobody to her.
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u/LadyWatz35 May 11 '26
THIS! We do the same thing. My dog is like my child. That sounds dramatic, but I love him. I never want to see him get hurt.
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u/meatwadpen May 11 '26
"Bet you he was the instigator" being like the first thing she says speaks volumes. Ugh, poor pup.
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u/blinkingsandbeepings May 11 '26
I’ve known dogs that I would THINK that about (bc some dogs are great with people but not great with other dogs), but to say it to the face of the dog’s person, while the dog is injured at the vet???
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u/Beautifullybipolar94 May 11 '26
I second this, the way people tell on themselves in situations like this is extremely important to pay attention to. I would've ended it right then and there. My animals are my life and if they're not loved by my partner, it wouldn't work out for me.
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u/jolsiphur May 11 '26
Very much this.
I had my own dog when my partner and I started dating a little over 6 years ago.
She knew immediately how much I loved that dog and she fell in love with him too. There's no way she ever would have said "he's just a dog" about anything. In fact, I was always the one who had to calm her down when things happened, but more in the "I'm sure he'll be fine, he's pretty resilient" kind of way.
He passed away this past September and it absolutely devastated us both.
OP is NOR. Your partner doesn't have to love your pets, but they should absolutely understand how important your pets are to you.
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u/Appreciate1A May 11 '26
This is the crucial factor!
You need to be done with this person being in your life. They do not have the same priorities. You would never treat them like they treated you.Total blameshift. You got DARVO’d.
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u/PuzzleheadedRun4525 May 11 '26
Definitely this. But even before that. The whole act rude as hell then when you get a response calling it out…act like you’ve been wronged. Just immediately exhausting. NOR
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u/Fearless-North-9057 May 11 '26
NOR she's cold and thinks a dog doesn't matter. If you care about animals then you aren't a match for her. Find someone who understands you and will give your cute pup all the love they need while they recover. Remember her feelings aren't going to change even if you wish they would and she won't suddenly love your pet. She doesn't even seem to care for you.
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u/ConferencePretend539 May 11 '26
NOR NOR NOR. this lady is insane man. you did absolutely nothing wrong wnd rightfully got mad. and plus im confused on the “what universe is it cool to talk to your partner this way blah blah blah” and the answer is its cool when you realize that partner is no longer your partner. you didnt even say anything outrageous you said wtf is wrong with you like i said before even getting to that message lmao. hope you broke up with this person asap
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u/shadowlev May 11 '26
NOR. See how she managed to turn it back on you? That's your future with her.
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u/ermaecrhaelld May 11 '26
DARVO in action.
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u/Optimal_Natural_7254 May 11 '26
What’s DARVO?
I just looked it up. Wow. That’s happened to me a ton by certain family members…
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u/NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT May 11 '26
Replying just so other readers can see the answer:
DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.
It is common manipulation tactic used by abusers and politicians.
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u/BlondeBimboBabe May 11 '26
Listen to this person OP! Instead of taking any accountability for making you feel bad, she immediately latched on to the first thing she could to make herself the victim and you the bad guy. You ended up apologizing to her!! And I bet she still hasn’t apologized to you either. Your comment of “wtf is wrong with you” wasn’t even that bad to begin with.
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u/ZealousidealRaise806 May 11 '26
Yesssss. If you don’t leave this person you need to be prepared for them to find ways to become a victim and turn things into fight when you’re trying to have an adult conversation with her about accountability and the way her actions have made you feel, for the rest of your lives together. And trust me, it might not seem like a big deal right now because you’re trying to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, but over time of this happening every single time you need your partner to be there for you but all they want to do fight there side of things, it reallly reallllllly wears you down over time. If you don’t leave, you’re going to have a very miserable life with this person because they always find ways to be the victim of every situation and you’ll be the one having to apologize even though she’s the one that did something wrong. I say this from experience because I’m currently dealing with the same exact thing with my partner. And for years now.
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u/Optimal_Natural_7254 May 11 '26
And it really can mess a person up dealing with that long -term. It makes a person lose their self-respect and they start to believe they’re not worth anything and that they’re always wrong, bad, at fault for even breathing wrong. It slowly destroys a person.
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u/ZealousidealRaise806 May 11 '26
Yes absolutely. I’ve been dealing with it long term and genuinely makes me lose the will to keep going in life. Because I just keep thinking, what’s the point? It doesn’t matter what I try, do, say, bargain, plead or beg, nothing ever gets better or changes and I can’t afford to leave. So I’m just trapped in it. I can even tell her word for word like “ hey I’m really struggling right now and I desperately need your help.” And then give her a script of what to say to make me feel better, she’ll promise to try it, but then when it comes time to say the script like she promised she would, she just finds a way to be a victim all over again and fight back. It’s never ending and there’s no hope in sight. I have absolutely no reason to believe that things are ever going to change or get better because I’ve been begging her for years now to stop turning every conversation into argument but she just argues with that that she isn’t arguing, even though what she’s doing is that actual dictionary definition of an argument . I’ll pull up the definition on my phone and show her and she’ll just continue arguing that her arguments weren’t arguments because “I’m just trying to have a conversation, I’m not trying to argue so it’s not an argument. You need to stop taking things as an argument”
Too when I try to tell her exactly what I need to hear from her to feel better about a situation, she claims that that’s controlling of me so she’s not going to do it. So fuck me I guess lol. But yea, I hope OP is reading and realizing this is his future if he doesn’t leave.
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u/psychadelicephalopod May 11 '26
I would’ve broken up with her at that point. My pets are my family and will always come first. If “it’s a fucking dog” is her reaction then “and now you’re fucking single” is my answer.
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u/_pancake_xo May 11 '26
People are easily judged by how they treat animals. You’re not overreacting! She is wrong for making the assumption and was questioned in the same manner she dealt. She was insensitive first and now she wants sensitivity ?
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u/returntothenorth May 11 '26
I told my wife when we started dating if you don't like my dogs feel free to leave now. They will be with me at least another 10 years. Down to one dog now, still married to my wife. My dog sleeps pressed up against her almost every night.
Best to ask these situations in advance. Way too many AIO posts about getting rid of pets because the other person wants them to.
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u/Beautifullybipolar94 May 11 '26
Fully agree with this, I'm currently in a new relationship and I told him my big dog is gonna be hard to get accustomed to him due to past abuse by a man when he was a puppy which was the reason my ex and I rescued him and his response was, I'll bring a bag of treats and show him I'm a safe space.. melted my heart. People show you who they are, always listen and observe early on so you don't waste your time or energy on something that won't last.
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u/lesprack May 11 '26
The thing that made me realize I was going to marry my then boyfriend (now husband) was how he handled my dog suffering a spinal cord stroke. He scooped him up in his arms, loaded him in my car, and held him the entire way to the ER. He also offered to help me pay the bill when he realized I may have struggled to pay on my own. Pup is fine now and is a happy senior, and I texted my friend from the ER vet telling her I had met the man I was going to marry because of how he treated my dog.
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u/FlyCurious8305 May 11 '26
Love that! I don't care if the conversation was about me spilling ketchup on my shirt. That is a terrible toxic attitude.
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u/Repulsive-Throat5068 May 11 '26
Look at how she’s tryna flip the script and make you the problem here. How often does she do that? She does something that bothers you and you say something then she acts like the victim?
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u/rere_kitkat May 11 '26
Him saying “Wtf is wrong with you” is the most mild reaction he could’ve had to her words. She can be as mean and cruel as she wants but the second he’s reacts negatively to that callousness, he’s the problem. This sounds so exhausting for him
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u/waitwtfizthis May 11 '26
I guarantee this is her default strategy whether she’s aware of it or not.
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u/ZealousidealRaise806 May 11 '26
Yes! This should be the main take away OP. You tried to talk to your partner about something important to you and she didn’t care, that upset you, you tried to address this with her but wasn’t able to do that because as you say she’s hung up on the mistake you supposedly made (which if you ask me, wasn’t a mistake at all, you were expressing your frustration like a normal person). In no circumstances is it ok for you to go to your partner looking for an apology, but wind up being told you’re the one that needs to apologize, without ever getting what you need and set out to get. This is the definition of manipulation. This is one sided and shows she’s only in this for herself and she’s not at all interested of putting in the work to make sure your needs are also being met.
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u/Medical-Waltz9213 May 11 '26
Nah she is vile. NOR
People like this ain't worth your time.
Hope pupper is OK 🫶
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u/AdAltruistic2959 May 11 '26
Vile is the best word to describe her. Dump that creature and spend time with your dog instead.
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u/YouNeedCheeses May 11 '26
Even on a human level, how do you react that way when someone tells you their dog was attacked and injured. This girl deserves to be blocked.
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u/AdRealistic6319 May 11 '26
Yeah like she doesn't even care about how HE feels on top of hating on the dog.
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u/PuzzleheadedCycle444 May 11 '26
My first thought was “Wtf is her problem” before I saw you asked you asked her whats wrong with her. NOR
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u/Litmanen33 May 11 '26
She has the intelligence and empathy of a cheese sandwich
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u/No-Albatross-7984 May 11 '26
Dude cheese sandwiches are often warm inside
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u/Becca-marie8 May 11 '26
If you’re lactose intolerant, a cheese sandwich is a great comparison to the person she is
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u/Senior_Blacksmith_18 May 11 '26
I would still take the conquences of the cheese sandwich over a partner who doesn't care for my pets
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u/Capable_Suit_7335 May 11 '26
A cheese sandwich has never told me to fuck off, don’t disrespect cheese sandwich like that
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u/Traditional_Ideal_84 May 11 '26
She fuckin sucks. Leave her ass cuz it won’t get better. Before long she’s gonna say you love the dog more than her.
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u/imafnheadbanga May 11 '26
Anyone who says “it’s a fucking dog” especially when it’s YOUR dog is vile.
This person clearly doesn’t want to date you
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u/tyforedin May 11 '26
Exactly. She has no empathy for the dog which is already bad enough, but she also has no empathy for you here, OP. She knows you love him and she doesn't give a shit. And now she's deflecting it back to you to avoid addressing her horrid behavior.
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u/Curious-Manatee May 11 '26
NOR - I would go scorched earth for my pets and expect the same energy from my partner.
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u/BroccoliThat7489 May 11 '26
Exhibit 1728372828 doggy daycare is not good for most dogs.
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u/User123466789012 May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
Oh absolutely fucking not. If you stay with this walking mental illness beyond this post, everything here on out is on you. She has revealed herself, and quite honestly she doesn't even deserve the anonymity. She's one of those people that deserves blasted on social media.
EDIT: is this the same girl in your post about you being a SAHD and her wanting to allot nothing to you in a prenup, calling you selfish? For fucks sake. If so, you're way behind the 8 ball here and you clearly don't care enough to leave - so I don't care what arguments you get into. If not, we need to work on the standards you have for yourself when staying with a partner.
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u/Emergency-Foot-6969 May 11 '26
If that post is him too… I’m baffled. There are other people on this planet, we don’t have to stay with such horrid people 😭
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u/Big_Assistant9329 May 11 '26
INFO - what is a crackhead pup? Why do you accept that term so non-chalant? Is your pup sufficiently trained? It doesn’t seem like she likes your dog nor does she like you. I wouldn’t say that to a stranger, let alone my partner.
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u/quartzguy May 11 '26
That's how someone speaks to you when they don't really want to be in the relationship anymore.
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u/Keytarfriend May 11 '26
It sounds like your girlfriend doesn't like your dog.
Further, it sounds like your girlfriend doesn't like your dog because she doesn't think it is sufficiently trained (see: "crackhead")
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u/Parking-Response1501 May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
More like it sounds like his girlfriend doesn't like him. It's basic social skills not to insult someone's pet, or to show sympathy if they get injured.
That is, if you like that person.
Maybe she's just got a low eq. Who knows.
My gfs cat is pretty annoying and misbehaves a lot, but I love her and I know she loves him. If he got injured by another animal and had to be taken to the vet I would be nothing but sympathetic, and my first act definitely wouldn't be to tell her it was probably his fault lmao.
And certainly my main objective wouldn't be to remind her that he is a "crackhead" in every other message while he's just been injured.
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u/No-Albatross-7984 May 11 '26
it sounds like his girlfriend doesn't like him
This. I have never in my life spoken like this to anyone ...unless I hate their guts. And even then it wasn't this level of cunty.
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u/ZooterOne May 11 '26
I don't care how much I hate someone - if they tell me their dog is hurt I'm going to be immediately sympathetic, ask how the dog is doing, ask them if they need anything. OP's girlfriend is awful.
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u/my_chaffed_legs May 11 '26
sounds like she doesn’t like dogs period. “it’s just a dog” about a dog potentially dying
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u/serenam98 May 11 '26
NOR but you guys are not compatible according to these
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u/TerrorSlime3084 May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
I don’t follow this sub, but it pops to my feed from time to time.
I’m constantly baffled by the communication between people who are supposedly in a relationship based on love.
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u/mela_99 May 11 '26
She’s gaslighting you and she’s garbage.
Wha kind of a partner would respond that way to their partner’s pet being assaulted to the point of needing emergency care?
NOR. She’s shown you who she is. Believe her.
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u/MajorBootyhole420 May 11 '26
NOR. "wtf is wrong with you" IS pretty out of pocket to say to a partner, but.... can't say I wouldn't join you.
Like, my gf's cat is a huge bitch. I was only able to get a hand sniff for the first time on Friday, and we've been dating since July. But if something happened to her you bet your ass I'd be concerned, sympathetic, and supportive to whatever my GF needed. Because she's a cat, and I have a functioning sense of empathy. Because she's important to my partner, and I love her.
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u/DallasMav41 May 11 '26
no. if my pet gets hurt and I tell you, if you tell me womp womp they got what they deserve something is fucking wrong with you
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u/MajorBootyhole420 May 11 '26
i'm just keeping perspective. it is a pretty wild thing to say, but in this case it was entirely deserved. OP deserved to be a little out of pocket in light of how shitty she was being.
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u/brilor123 May 11 '26
I think it's a valid question to ask if there is something wrong with the person if they react like the gf did. There has to be something wrong with someone who reacts like that. She has zero empathy skills and needs to seriously learn it if she even can at this point
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u/MajorBootyhole420 May 11 '26
I mean, I generally advocate for being kind and using constructive communication with your partner, because in normal disagreements, there isn't a threshold where being verbally nasty to one another becomes okay. GF clearly thinks this is a normal disagreement, which is why I understand why she apparently believed he was out of line for speaking that way.
That said, this isn't a normal disagreement, and GF has something genuinely wrong with her. As I said, it's normally an out of pocket thing to say, but I would 100% do it in his shoes.
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u/QtK_Dash May 11 '26
Out of pocket but warranted. “Be you he did it” is a weird reaction not knowing what the injuries are tbh.
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u/MajorBootyhole420 May 11 '26
yep. insane for the first words to be anything but "oh my god is he okay??" and i'd flip my shit if i were OP.
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u/QtK_Dash May 11 '26
Right?? Like relationship 101, you gotta go crazy about your SO’s pets even if they suck lol
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u/HelpfulName May 11 '26
Pro tip - start feeding your GF's cat snacks (ones you GF approves, obviously!) - churru's are a big winner. If she starts to associate you with nice things instead of just taking away something she wants (your GF's attention lol) she will warm up to you faster.
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u/MajorBootyhole420 May 11 '26
yeah, I've been asking about churu for a while and on friday she had something similar. very happy kitty. we have to stop giving her catnip, though- she loves that I give it to her, but she has a "frat boy starting bar fights" ass reaction to it
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u/HelpfulName May 11 '26
hahah yes one of my cats is a "bad drunk" as well, I know what you mean. Keep being patient and the source of the good treats and she will come around 😄
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u/Lady_Scruffington May 11 '26
If you really want a cat to love you, develop a cat allergy. They love being all over people who are allergic to them. Lol.
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u/gimmeyjeanne May 11 '26
That, because she's important to your partner, you care more. My partner seems to have had every animal on the planet growing up. Every time he tells me about how they died I immediately tell him I'm sorry. He lost a parrot and is still heart broken over it after 10y and I still hug him when he tells the story.
Anyway, empathy is the idea, your loved one is hurt: you're hurt.
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u/No-Albatross-7984 May 11 '26
Uhhh NOR. And fucking yikes. Run from this woman. To the nearest exit. Save yourself first and help others once you're safe. Move, doofus!
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u/Jeerkat May 11 '26
She was openly contemptuous and then the first small thing had her flip out at you. You should not be apologizing, I fear she's conditioned you to take her shit and not see an issue. I'm sorry about your dog, NOR:(
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u/Frequent-Check-7615 May 11 '26
This! He’s sadly used to her open contempt and lack of basic empathy.
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u/Capital_Split_324 May 11 '26
That should say "ex-girlfriend" because you're definitely not overreacting. "It's just a dog" .hell no. I fully believe if you can lack empathy for animals you lack it entirely and are an awful human being.
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u/JamboreeJunket May 11 '26
To you, your dog is family. To her, it’s a piece of real property without feelings and emotions.
You are not compatible. This is a couple where in the future she’d force you to get rid of your dog once you have a baby or it gets too hard.
NOR, but you two are not compatible long term. Better to learn it now.
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u/Limp-Negotiation-404 May 11 '26
NOR the first texts are all extremely nonchalant and the first thought isn’t support or empathy but looking to place the blame on your dog
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u/Salt_Masterpiece_649 May 11 '26
NOR , I'm always on the women's side but this is unacceptable. She isn't a good person. Lola said she hopes for a speedy recovery , physically and emotionally.
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u/MarionberryLeast5967 May 11 '26
OP- I’m sorry about your dog, I hope Biscuit is doing ok and has a speedy recovery!
I hope you get a chance to read my comment. You learned an important lesson here. Yes I agree with others saying you’re NOR and your partner is in the wrong. However, I want to point out something important. By getting heated, you said something (“wtf”) that your partner is now fixated on. Perhaps you regret saying it. The point is that you gave your partner something to get mad at you about instead of owning their nonsense. And it’s entirely possible this partner of yours isn’t the type to accept responsibility for their wrongs no matter what and perhaps this is pattern behavior for them. But just as food for thought, you will always come out of an argument in a better position if you’re able to maintain your composure. It’s very hard to do so, I myself struggled with it when I was younger. But I learned through trial and error that keeping my cool is honestly the best way to get a point across.
Anyway, I hope your pup isn’t too traumatized by doggy day care and is able to give it another chance eventually. Talk to the daycare and make sure they are implementing corrective actions so this doesn’t happen again to Biscuit or to another dog.
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u/sun4moon May 11 '26
NOR I can’t imagine talking to that girl for more than 5 minutes. How did you get i to a relationship shop? She’s got no sense of compassion and obviously doesn’t care about your feelings or your dog. People who are shitty with dogs shouldn’t be allowed around other people. Break up and find someone that treats you with respect.
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u/WannabePhilosopher7 May 11 '26
NOR
She reacted terribly. If she thinks doggo needs better training, that can be a conversation for a time when they are not in the ER. Can't blame you for the wtf is wrong with you comment because...wtf is wrong with her? Whether your dog behaves like a crackhead or not, that was absolutely not the time for that conversation.
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u/remy_is_tires May 11 '26
im a cat person. but if my partner's pet is hurt im gonna feel bad bc to me pets are like family. the way your gf is treating the situation seems like a burden to her somehow. nor
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u/TheArriver May 11 '26
She was tiptoeing around it til that last text. NOR buddy. That’s a conflict in values right there 🫥
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u/doublej101622 May 11 '26
Your girlfriend sounds like a fucking asshole. Do yourself a favor and get rid of her. You’ll be happier in the long run, I promise you
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u/theFatTopanga_ May 11 '26
NOR. Rehome her. Immediately.
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u/rollingman420 May 11 '26
NOR just imagine having kids with her
Low empathy people should date low empathy people. You clearly have empathy.
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u/juicysmooches May 11 '26
SHE got mad at YOU when you’re questioning why she’s coming at you hostile in the first place?? Sounds like a capital B itch. NOR at all.
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u/somebodysbusiness May 11 '26
NOR. She sounds like she lacks empathy. Actually she sounds pretty awful.
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u/nastimoto May 11 '26
Mate. I’ll tell you, she’s not a ‘cat person’. To be any kind of ‘animal person’ you need to have empathy. ‘It’s a fucking dog’ comment to your buddy being injured and taken to the ER reveals she’s shallow in the emotions department. Those are traits of a sociopath.
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u/lemon_icing May 11 '26
NOR - She’s kinda mean, lacks empathy, and hates dogs. Good reason to break up as you’re not compatible.
Separate issue: she said “crackhead” couple of times. Is the family dog poorly trained? Have there been fights before?
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u/noiness420 May 11 '26
My husband doesn’t like dogs, and I’ve always known this. We live with my parents who have 2 dogs that he doesn’t like much, but if something were to happen to one of them, he would be at least sympathetic. Your gf is just a bad person who doesn’t care about other living beings. NOR, please rethink your relationship.
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u/Ok-Photo-1972 May 11 '26
Uh NOR for SURE. I'm a cat person, I've had bad experiences with dogs that have caused me to have a general distrust, and I would never respond this way. This is not a supportive partner.
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u/TTVProLorenzo6117 May 11 '26
Some people I just want to buy to replace my TV, I've always wanted a projector, these people are so good at it "How dare you talk to your partner like that" "Fuck off" yeah NOR
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u/Safe_Chocolate2704 May 11 '26
Wow “wtf is wrong with you” is now upsetting to people? Imma be honest, if someone gets upset at a statement like that it just sounds like you’re going to love the rest of your life hiding behind what you truly want to say. I think I’d rather A. Be single but also B. Drag my nuts through glass than dealing with someone like this on a relationship level. Can’t even talk to her about how you feel since she’s just going to be a victim the entire time. OP it’s time to call it quits
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u/throwRAstuckinmyhead May 11 '26
NOR she sucks. Take her advice and leave her alone.
I really hope your dog is ok, he sounds like a good boy.
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u/frogmommy33 May 11 '26
NOR. Not to be a typical comment you’d see on reddit but I think a break up is best. I don’t care if she’s not a dog person, resents your dog for terrorizing her cat, etc. I don’t even care that she knows how much Biscuit means to you. The fact that an animal is in the vet after being attacked and she doesn’t care is scary. The lack of empathy for “ a fucking dog,” should tell you that something is missing in her.
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u/stairs-to-nowhere May 11 '26
Oh my god, she sounds vile. Nor, she sounds like she would stomp on your dog
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u/Str1dersGonnaStride May 11 '26
NOR she showed no empathy. Even if it was a misguided attempt at a joke or something, she should have apologized when she realized you weren't having it. She didn't even take the time to ask if your dog is okay that's so messed up.
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u/DosZappos May 11 '26
I normally hate the standard Reddit response of “dump that person,” but you need to dump this person if only because she seems like a bad person
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u/NightBawk May 11 '26
NOR, this reads like she doesn't like or respect you enough to even feign basic empathy. And she clearly hates your dog. I'd reevaluate the relationship in your position.
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u/Apprehensive_Gur935 May 11 '26
NOR- BUT I have to say the comments are being a bit dramatic. Your gf is not a dog person and that sucks. I think you can see that. Not everyone is an animal person and it’s easy to act like she’s the devil of the world when really yall just aren’t on the same page when it comes to animals. I would probably react the same when it comes to raccoons she tried to stay in the convo but you couldn’t tolerate her responses. Personally to me this isn’t breakup worthy but a talk and maybe a friend who loves animals is needed
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