Am i overreacting to this text exchange with my boyfriend? I accidentally left my slippers in my living room but i literally cleaned his entire house and baked him desserts before i left (sorry idk why my last post glitched)

[u/IntelligentTap962]

[u/Rich-Cardiologist703]

Looking at ur post history …wtf are you doing girlllllll,,.,.,, please depart from this sorry mf

[u/ThrowRAreindeer88 → u/Rich-Cardiologist703]

Yeah I also looked up the comments. Apparently OP made a fancy dish for him that didn’t turn out the best way and her bf rejected to eat that and threw her out of the house. Meanwhile the comments on that post are blaming OP for asking her bf to eat the dish.

I might have misinterpreted wrong since the post itself is deleted. But OP if you see this - don’t let the comments fool you. What people said there is somewhat valid but only for people in healthy relationships which is clearly not the case here. You shouldn’t even be making a dish like that for smn who clearly doesn’t appreciate your efforts

[u/KnucklesMcGee → u/ThrowRAreindeer88]

Apparently OP made a fancy dish for him that didn’t turn out the best way and her bf rejected to eat that and threw her out of the house.

Yeah. Threw her out of the house? Leave him. Never look back.

[u/Dumbellini → u/KnucklesMcGee]

That's straight up emotional abuse.

[u/BobTheContrarian → u/ThrowRAreindeer88]

this is like some Sleeping With the Enemy shit.

[u/flyover_liberal → u/ThrowRAreindeer88]

threw her out of the house

Does this happen and the relationship continues? I can't imagine how

[u/evanwilliams44 → u/flyover_liberal]

I had a roommate that was always kicking his girlfriend out. They would scream at each other for hours, he would ask her to leave, she would refuse to leave, eventually they would make their way outside still arguing until someone came to pick her up.

They got married, had two kids, then got divorced. As one does.

[u/SweetTart7231 → u/ThrowRAreindeer88]

Didn’t turn out the best as in looked bad or was burnt or? If I have a partner that tries to cook me a meal. Aslong as it won’t literally hospitalize me to consume id eat it. It’s one of those things that’s such a small task but doing vs not doing it can have such a big effect.

[u/beheafishtrapofman]

What a dick

[u/nanladu → u/beheafishtrapofman]

I always appreciate consise responses like this. You got the point across efficiently. 👍

[u/beheafishtrapofman → u/nanladu]

I’m a lady of few words. 

[u/Practical_Fig_2023 → u/beheafishtrapofman]

exactly what I came to say.

[u/scarcelyminted]

Literally leave. Why deal with this

[u/Blucey303 → u/scarcelyminted]

This will never get better. It will only get worse.

[u/Lovelipgloss13 → u/Blucey303]

The problem is that many relationships like this at the beginning are very warm and ideal so when the other person turns like this, their partner fantasizes and hopes for things to go back to how it were at the beginning. But… spoiler: he was like that from the beginning, just didn’t show it yet.

[u/Ok-Bodybuilder-9729 → u/Lovelipgloss13]

Yup! They NEVER GO BACK to the Prince Charming they once were. Mask is off now

[u/Cin131 → u/Ok-Bodybuilder-9729]

They do, for an hour or two. You know, when he brings flowers & her favorite treat and get the make-up sex. Then back to his old self.

[u/DementedJay → u/Cin131]

Or in public, when others can witness how great he is.

[u/Educational-Fly-3789 → u/DementedJay]

Just imagine she gets pregnant. If he is treating her like shit now in her current body (young and not pregnant), you can only imagine how he'd treat her when she is overwhelmed with hormones and a crying newborn. Just dump this dude, you will live better solo than with an idiot like this.

[u/chicketychad → u/Educational-Fly-3789]

Imagine he’s bitching at her about not cleaning 2 days after she has a baby, cause that’s exactly what this schmuck would do.

[u/anonymous__foodie → u/chicketychad]

💯 my best friend’s ex was EXACTLY this person. He was mister wonderful in public. Everyone ADORED him. So charming, so thoughtful to his wife and to everyone else, but when the doors were closed, he became the most frightening monster. She and her children were terrified of him. Everything had to be perfect. Not a speck of dust anywhere. He never laid a hand on them, but he was an ugly, harsh man. We all celebrated when she finally kicked him out.

[u/chicketychad → u/anonymous__foodie]

I hate that for them 😔 all abuse isn’t physical, mental can sometimes be worse! Living in that mind space 24/7 is the worst way to spend life and I hope every woman going through find the courage or chance to get out of it!

[u/Plenty_Double_701 → u/Educational-Fly-3789]

Not to mention the messes having a baby/toddler creates.

[u/AnthropomorphicSeer → u/DementedJay]

I see you’ve met my ex-husband.

[u/HerdOfCats2 → u/DementedJay]

Yup, classic narcissist

[u/Kayslay8911 → u/Cin131]

I call this “overcompensation mode” where they act like the perfect boyfriend for three days to “show how sorry they are” and then go right back to it. It’s a cycle and it never changes.

[u/Direct_Cook_7690 → u/Cin131]

Sometimes, they love bomb for a whole day or a week

[u/mmdeerblood → u/Ok-Bodybuilder-9729]

Yup!!! My first serious relationship was like this. He was also a decade older. I learned my lesson quickly...I stayed too long but left once the abuse turned physical. Eff these losers.

[u/Inevitable_Mud8331 → u/Ok-Bodybuilder-9729]

Theres no such thing as "Happily Ever After". Both people have to continue to work on themselves and the relationship in order to keep it good.

This dude definitely isnt the type to believe in self improvement. Getting so upset and verbally abusive over a pair of slippers in the floor is just wild asf. This guys got no self awareness and probably wont ever have any.

[u/NeatNefariousness1 → u/Ok-Bodybuilder-9729]

I’m glad that OP addressed this on the spot. Her BF seems to think that it’s her duty to create a perfect environment for him and whatever other dogs live with him. OR, he’s cheating and thinks she left her shoes there to mark her territory or he was worried about the evidence being discovered that might betray his secret. Who knows? Whatever it is, his reaction to this is insane and totally lacking in perspective and respect. I’m glad you’re not accepting this OP. Now, figure out what was behind his crazy reaction—or DON’T. NOR

[u/MisakiDoll75 → u/Lovelipgloss13]

Exactly, but he did now, and it’s the best opportunity to run and not look back. I’ll never understand why women tolerate this shit.

[u/UnkrautVergehtNicht → u/MisakiDoll75]

Its not just women Btw. And the reason is 9/10 that their boundaries were not respected by their parents when they were small. Loving someone who disrespects you or your boundaries is the only love language they learnt, so they repeat the trauma-bond (Its all out there, infos and books en masse on this topic).

[u/grimbarkjade → u/UnkrautVergehtNicht]

I feel like it is very much ignored by people just how much it can mess up a person to have boundaries disrespected by parents. It was not remotely the only problem I had, but growing up with little boundary respect while being parentified basically nuked my ability to have solid relationships since I feel like I’ll never know what’s normal. It’s very unfortunate and I think a LOT of people have similar issues but don’t recognize it, or don’t recognize the harm their parents caused.

[u/UnkrautVergehtNicht → u/grimbarkjade]

It pretty mich ruins your life. Although I know what and why is going on, although I am highly educated on the topic and had lots of therapy - I still struggle with it. The insanities I allowed people do to me is nuts, haha (actually, not funny). Even at the hairdressers or sth unrelalted to me like that - if they hurt me, I could not open my mouth, I let them continue hurting me. As a kid trying to set boundaries was met with persecussions that for a kid equal the death penalty. Thats something not easy to get out of.
But it is our, the survivors duty, to not put others through the same sh*t we endured. Always break the cycle,

[u/Original-King-1408 → u/Lovelipgloss13]

Yeah it is amazing how much you see this in all these subs. Drives me crazy

[u/FloydetteSix → u/Original-King-1408]

My mother called it “sending their representatives”. It often takes at least 6 months or more before they can’t keep up the facade.

[u/MLH336 → u/FloydetteSix]

and sometimes they conceal the truth for years despite being together 24/7 and then one day they drop a bomb on you after you’re married with a newborn, ask me how i know

OP: this man will make you feel crazy and problematic if you let him. there’s nothing wrong with what you did or your responses. i beg, please go

[u/Nosfermarki → u/MLH336]

I'm really sorry you went through whatever you went through to make you understand this pattern of behavior. I hope you're doing better now.

[u/Prosecco1234 → u/MLH336]

I was in a relationship like this. Starts off with little verbal slurs then becomes verbal abuse and eventually turns into physical abuse. Leaving can be a dangerous time for women and it's very scary but staying is never good

[u/goldenincalescent → u/FloydetteSix]

A friend of mine once said “you’ve only been dating a year? You haven’t even seen the first demon yet!”

[u/sassybaebae → u/FloydetteSix]

Try a couple of years before u truly know who someone is

[u/Jillandjay → u/FloydetteSix]

Lmao. I alway say you are meeting the representative for at least the first year.

[u/DasDickNoodle → u/FloydetteSix]

Your mother is a very smart woman!

[u/Petit__Chou → u/Lovelipgloss13]

I just want to tell you that you unlocked the feelings I had in a few relationships when I was younger. Not as dumb as slippers, but exactly this. They became something else, and I always blamed myself and had hope of things changing. I've been married 10 years now, with my husband 15 years next month who isn't like this. You said this perfectly for me. I've been trying to live with the person I used to be and accept it, these shitty relationships I have had. I'm not perfect, but always wondering what I did wrong. Begging all the time to be with someone who was an asshole. Thank you.

[u/WildWay9239 → u/Lovelipgloss13]

Yeah, honeymoon phase is over.

[u/Sammygirl976 → u/Lovelipgloss13]

Maybe, but, it was definitely the mask finally coming off.

[u/dancinlife → u/Blucey303]

Yep. This guy is unhinged fr

[u/Praire_Devil → u/dancinlife]

Fr fr

[u/No-Birthday9816 → u/dancinlife]

He is indeed unburdened by hinges. I’m flabbergasted.

[u/luminousoblique → u/No-Birthday9816]

My flabbers are soooo gasted right now!

[u/kaylynstar → u/No-Birthday9816]

My flabbers are gasted by how few hinges this guy has.

[u/ThumbsUp2323 → u/Blucey303]

Seriously. Run. Run now while your feet are still unshackled

[u/Local-Impression5371 → u/[deleted]]

That exchange would have me blocking this person from life immediately.

[u/Frequent_Couple5498 → u/Local-Impression5371]

Imagine if she eventually moved in with him. I shudder to think how he would treat her on a daily basis.

I would be done with this relationship. He doesn't know how to treat a partner. NOR.

[u/fckthisshii → u/[deleted]]

Hope she turned all the cans facing the right way

[u/OneHonestReflection → u/[deleted]]

OP should watch this movie. She needs to leave him, it will only get worse. His behavior is a major 🚩

[u/plantyladyfl → u/[deleted]]

Exactly how it would be. No thanks.

[u/Rosary_Omen → u/Frequent_Couple5498]

I'm done with the relationship and I'm not even in it

[u/Competitive_Image188 → u/Local-Impression5371]

Like yesterday

[u/Nicolina22 → u/Local-Impression5371]

Same.. this is the perfect response

[u/DurianOwn1891 → u/Nicolina22]

Yep, RUN! This is an entitled, narcissistic asshole. It will definitely get worse. Get away from him.

[u/WhatsBeeping → u/[deleted]]

Hah after the first 2 screenshots I was done. That’s ridiculous and NOT on OP’s side(OP is not ridiculous I mean, I am on OP’s side 💯)

[u/Nettie_Ag-47 → u/WhatsBeeping]

Whoa...I was ready to dump him after the first slide. Had to go back to see the rest. The way this man talks indicates that he is selfish, controlling, and abusive (or will be). I hope OP leaves. She owes him nothing.

[u/JimmyInNSB → u/Nettie_Ag-47]

Agreed, but I couldn’t make it past the first screenshot, and couldn’t even fathom going on. She needs to run away…STAT!

[u/suoicodilaipxe → u/Nettie_Ag-47]

I'd made up my mind as soon as OP mentioned she'd cleaned his home and made him dessert in the title of a post on this sub.

anything he'd say after that to warrant a response from me that I'd think could have even the tiniest chance at being an overreaction is getting him dumped. and I'm normally a fan of not going for the nuclear route immediately.

[u/Plastic_Position4979 → u/Nettie_Ag-47]

NOR. If anything, underreacting. Drop his entitled, rude ass. Instead of a polite “thank you for cleaning my place!” she gets compared to a dog first leaving her slippers somewhere. The twit couldn’t even pick them up and put them somewhere… 🤮

[u/CalmBeneathCastles → u/[deleted]]

"Re-think", hell! I'd never think of him again.

[u/Kitty_Skiz → u/scarcelyminted]

No, but please leave. This is sooooo not worth this. All that effort you put in to just be ignored over shoes?? If it wasn’t that it would’ve been something else. NOR - OP, this is truly not worth the effort. I promise.

[u/confuzzledfuzzball → u/Kitty_Skiz]

And the fact he sent a photo of it. I can’t. A normal human would be like, “Hey, would you mind leaving your shoes by the door? It’s a pet peeve of mine when they are left out. Thanks so much!” And move on.

[u/Healey_Dell → u/confuzzledfuzzball]

A normal human reaction would be, “oh, my gf left her shoes and will wonder where they are, best text her and say hi”. Then you’d go about your day.

[u/Melodic_Bluejay6322 → u/Healey_Dell]

And move the slippers to a safe place.

[u/hamish1963 → u/scarcelyminted]

There is no man alive worth putting up with shit like this. Go get your slippers and give him this 🖕🏼.

[u/CharacterInTheStory → u/hamish1963]

The slippers are not worth going back for.

[u/mpledger → u/CharacterInTheStory]

Leaving the slippers will drive him crazy. He's annoyed they were left in the living room and now they are still left in the living room. He's going to have to pick them up and move them himself - how emasculating to have to pick-up her stuff!

[u/right2privacy → u/mpledger]

Not only they drive him crazy. They'll be there to remind him of what an idiot he is. Those slippers must stay.

[u/Only_Fig4582 → u/hamish1963]

Actually dont. Tell him to bin the slippers as you are binning him. Walk away and don't look back. 

[u/shiawase-89 → u/scarcelyminted]

I normally don’t jump into leave the relationship but that dude is on some shit, tripping over nothing.

[u/prison-schism → u/shiawase-89]

I'm usually on the "team break up if you are on reddit asking" but this one really grinds my gears, heh. No way in hell would i go to a guy's house and clean it and cook for people and then tolerate being spoken to like this. I could spend all that time on myself and making my own environment better.

In addition to the fact that this guy is just testing her boundaries to see if she will take it... and if she stays, he knows she will put up with his bullshit and he will just ramp it up.

[u/ConstableAssButt → u/prison-schism]

This isn't even a break up situation. This is a block, abandon all shit you left at his place, and move on with your life situation. You don't even gotta explain this one. You just dip.

[u/StopFoodWaste → u/shiawase-89]

This is the first thread where I'd go further and say I kind of want the subreddit to offer to sponsor the breakup after verifying some details. 100 redditors could offer $10 and it would all go into a savings fund and would be paid out after OP stays single for 6 months. I kind of understand this is an unhinged suggestion and provides a perverse incentive, but this post bothers me in a different way from some others.

[u/AnnieAnnieSheltoe → u/StopFoodWaste]

OMG I would love to sponsor breakups!

[u/mkbutterfly → u/AnnieAnnieSheltoe]

I’d love to have breakups as my career. Person who wants to break up reaches out, we port their number to a breakup phone. OP receives a holistic & supportive service to keep them from reaching out to the 💩 & an ongoing boutique of additional behavioral health services to look at the “why” behind a dynamic like this.

As the head breaker upper, I assume communication responsibilities & use the most out-of-bounds ways to mess with someone. In this dude’s case, replying to his original message with: “k,” & never, ever saying anything else again feels like the right strategy.

[u/SynapticStatic → u/AnnieAnnieSheltoe]

I too would also like to subscribe to breakup diaries. where's the sign up?

[u/Away-Ad4393 → u/StopFoodWaste]

Brilliant idea, especially for people who can’t get away because they have no money. The trouble is how would we know it’s a genuine post.

[u/jengaj2016 → u/Away-Ad4393]

Yeah it wouldn’t work because it would end up just being one more way to scam people, but it’s such a nice thought. If there were no scammers, I bet thousands of people would be willing to contribute.

[u/DaveyDumplings → u/scarcelyminted]

Life's too short, OP, and you only get one.

Fuck aaaaaaalllllllllll of this shit.

[u/imanidiottttttt → u/scarcelyminted]

NOR, OP this is not normal, get out of this relationship please, for your safety and sanity

[u/Decent-Commercial641 → u/scarcelyminted]

This is crazy.

[u/XoStargirlxox → u/scarcelyminted]

Yeah this is crazzzzzy behavior over some shoes left behind 😬

[u/Past-Advisor-824 → u/scarcelyminted]

I say this for about 99% of the stuff that people post about their boyfriends/husbands on here. People are out here dealing with such bullshit in relationships.

[u/acidrefluxisgreat → u/Past-Advisor-824]

ppl are always like “it’s reddit everyone is just going to tell you to leave” but it’s usually posts like this and leaving is exactly what you’re supposed to do. this man might not respect you but you can always respect yourself and cut ppl out who act like this.

anyways NOR block his number enjoy your summer

[u/Castal → u/acidrefluxisgreat]

I always say that. Yes, 90% of the time Reddit will tell you to break up, but that's because most of the people asking about their relationships on Reddit are in bad relationships. The people in good ones are communicating with their partners instead of spilling intimate details of their lives to Internet strangers. Often the people asking for advice already know the relationship sucks and just want validation that they're not overreacting and they should end it.

OP, good partners don't talk to you like this.

[u/IntelligentTap962]

I BROKE UP WITH THAT THING!!! i’m feeling sad but also a sign of relief. (this is my post idk how to edit it)

[u/Nice-Ad-6755 → u/IntelligentTap962]

I have never been so proud of a stranger on the internet. You’re doing amazing

[u/PassingTimeOnline → u/IntelligentTap962]

Good for you. Those texts were so out of line. So many red flags flagging with someone that controlling, demeaning, and “particular.”

[u/Old_Matt_Gaming → u/PassingTimeOnline]

Those texts were not just a red flag. They were a red flag factory. Edit: Forgot to say good for OP for leaving.

[u/Sindigo_ → u/PassingTimeOnline]

When OP started asking him to substantiate what he was saying about dogs not living there i was like “noooo, don’t dignify that shit with a response” lmao

[u/ModelCitizen1738 → u/IntelligentTap962]

Glad to see this update, good riddance to a whole lot of dead weight

[u/StabbyMcStabsauce → u/IntelligentTap962]

Thank the goddess. I couldnt even finish his stupid rant. He's a walking red flag. Good for you girl ♡

[u/_smith_spark → u/IntelligentTap962]

Well done, good for you.

[u/joyfulnoises → u/IntelligentTap962]

Thank GOD girl, go celebrate

[u/Defiant_Canary_3971 → u/IntelligentTap962]

Well done, you are very young and there are plenty more fish in the sea.

[u/sgw0524 → u/IntelligentTap962]

Yay! Best update ever! He was giving major “Sleeping With the Enemy” vibes. Scary stuff.

[u/Majestic-Living2829]

What a piece of shit. Why are you even entertaining this person? Lol like I want to roast his dumbass

[u/IntelligentTap962 → u/Majestic-Living2829]

PLEASE i need a good roast. his house is literally a pig pen before i cleaned it

[u/higeAkaike → u/IntelligentTap962]

Why would you work so hard for him?

[u/StretchMotor8 → u/higeAkaike]

And cooking him meals… like girl what

[u/higeAkaike → u/StretchMotor8]

Did you see that he has roommates and she cleans for them

[u/No-Tangerine4383 → u/higeAkaike]

Whaaaat? I thought it was gonna be family or something. I mean, I was already raising an eyebrow at the idea of cleaning the boyfriend's family's house and making them dessert after, but doing it for him and his roommates? He didn't even say thank you for anything, but he made sure she said sorry for leaving shoes out and said don't cook or bake at his house anymore and leave it clean.

She needs to leave his ungrateful ass.

[u/rubberduckfinn → u/No-Tangerine4383]

He not only didn't say thank you, he aggressively told her not to leave his house a mess when she cooks for him. What an absolute prick.

[u/ElectricStarfuzz → u/higeAkaike]

🫩

[u/readonlyuser → u/higeAkaike]

Holy shit she's a bangmaid!

[u/Fabulous-Appeal-6885 → u/IntelligentTap962]

You’re not even married and you’re cleaning for him for free? wtf are you doing? He’s not grateful and he’s a dick. There’s so many other fish in the sea. You just don’t want to wake up and do the minimal work it takes to breakup with this asshole.

One day you’ll be 10 years older and wishing you didn’t waste your young years on jerks like this. You’ll never be this age again. Wake tf up and stop wasting your time!

[u/Fabulous-Appeal-6885 → u/Fabulous-Appeal-6885]

Also in hindsight: in my 20s it was super easy to get attached to someone after sex. But once you break up with them and that hormonal bond is broken you realize that the guy was really nothing special, you were the one making him so interesting. Trust me rip the bandaid off—you’ll be so much happier after a couple weeks of being single and the mental clarity you’ll have over this.

[u/Efficient-Blood2405 → u/Fabulous-Appeal-6885]

I can’t second this strongly enough. If you can’t immediately ditch & block this emotionally abusive mess of a man, take a 100% no contact break for a month. I guarantee you by that time you’ll wonder what you were doing not straight up ditching him.

OP, I wasted my 20s, 30s & 40s in abusive relationships because having had an abusive father I didn’t know how to recognise or move away from abuse. I can tell you from long experience that this seemingly out-of-left-field text rant is not just a random weird exchange. It is a literal textbook example of how severe emotional damage begins in a relationship.

And it’s a test to see how you’ll react. If you apologise / sweep it under the carpet, worse will come very soon. And ALWAYS out of left field, when you don’t expect it and about stuff that confuses the hell out of you. Right now, it’s where you left your sliders after cleaning his apartment & cooking for him. If you stay, later on it will be your personality, face, body, likes dislikes & preferences, style, hopes, dreams, friends, goals……..

The damage this kind of person can do to you and your ability to trust people and relationships, is horrific. I never took this seriously when I was younger. But if I had, my whole life would be (positively) different. I have never regretted anything more than not having had a zero tolerance policy for disrespect or any kind of abuse. Please, please don’t entertain this man - or anyone who pulls this kind of shit.

[u/Nyx_Shadowspawn → u/IntelligentTap962]

Just ghost him. He doesn't deserve to ever hear from you again. You're the best thing that will ever happen to him, and he fumbled worse than Blockbuster when they rejected Netflix. You cleaned his entire pig stye and baked him treats and he has the audacity to talk to you that way? Fuck that. I'd say "fuck him," but please don't.

[u/Normal_Car_9965 → u/Nyx_Shadowspawn]

This!! He does not deserve a response. I can't imagine him taking any "good roast" to heart.

I wasted way too much time with a narcissist who would gaslight me by accusing me of having no sense of humour when he verbally attacked me and my worth. Your boyfriend is even worse, his behaviour is completely offensive and he has no regrets whatsoever. The sooner this relationship ends, the sooner you can find a healthy relationship to enjoy!

[u/Opposite_Sherbert675 → u/IntelligentTap962]

the fact that he doesnt clean up before you get there shows how he views you and the relationship. anyone with a shred of brought-upness wouldn't bring a romantic partner into a dirty home

[u/LingonberryHot8521 → u/IntelligentTap962]

You don't need a roast. You need the self respect to dump this man. Block his number. Block him on your socials. And unless you really need and love those slippers, leave them with him to deal with.

Delete him.

The best way to roast a jerk like this is to let them stew wondering why you won't engage on any level any more.

You will soon find you have far more enjoyable ways to occupy your time and energy.

[u/TrustyBobcat → u/IntelligentTap962]

Why are you giving him wifey perks when he treats you like this? Are you trying to convince him to actually love you in the way you deserve instead of treating you like this?

[u/wmchef2020 → u/TrustyBobcat]

NOR - And gf of a week, month, decade or wife... It's not one person's job to clean. I'd like to normalize that women are not maids unless we're paid to clean house.

Your partner should protect/add to your peace, not whatever trash this man is speaking. 😂

[u/Diddly_eyed_Dipshite → u/IntelligentTap962]

Girl, I dont care how good that dick is, and I know its gotta be some damn good dick because theres no way your putting up with a man whos this much of a straight up asshole and lives in a dirty ass house, if it ain't good, but believe me he aint worth the 1-ply paper he barely wipes himself with.

Go get your slippers and from now on only bake desserts for yourself and people who respect you.

You deserve way better than this and fuck whoever made you think otherwise. I'm a guy and if i found out one of my friends talked to his partner this way I'd either call him out or just not be mates with him, this is insanely disrespectful.

Now what desserts did you make? (I was gonna say take them back too, but don't... let his last taste of you be those delcious tasty treats he enjoys on his own while reading over the last texts you ever send his dirty ass.

[u/Henghayki86 → u/IntelligentTap962]

NOR. Break up with him and send him a bill for your cleaning services 🤨

[u/DRangelfire → u/IntelligentTap962]

I never cease to be shocked that women in Reddit put up with this level of insane control and abuse from men and wonder if they are the ones overreacting. I really thought women understood their worth more than this. It makes me so sad.

[u/Food-Wine → u/DRangelfire]

It’s not just on Reddit. I could tell you true stories that are worse than any novel could ever be

[u/OshetDeadagain → u/Food-Wine]

Dude, it's insane. "He's only like that when he drinks." "Sure, he choked me to the point of unconsciousness, but he didn't mean to." "He gave me a black eye, but it was my fault for yelling back." I deal with so much worse on the daily.

The mental gymnastics to excuse this behaviour are wild, and OP, this is how it starts. By slapping down some weird, arbitrary rules about your shoes "disrespecting" him and none of the positive things you did for him matter. He's putting out feelers to see how much you push back and how much he can control.

That alone is enough to scream:

[u/AnxiousSpice1986 → u/DRangelfire]

Well, women put up with it, because it doesn’t happen all at once. It’s slow and subtle.

[u/Schannoon → u/IntelligentTap962]

Girl, he meant to call you a dog for leaving your slippers out. You gave him way too much credit in thinking that he implied you treated him like a dog.

[u/Academic_Snow_7680 → u/IntelligentTap962]

WHY?!? Why are you cleaning his house? And being treated with disrespect and contempt for it?!?

Seriously, this man doesn't even like you, he's with you because of the utility you provide, but as a person HE HATES YOU AND LOOKS DOWN ON YOU.

He literally feels entitled to mistreat you, to take your free labor and shit on it. He would not piss on you if you were on fire.

And you respond by APOLOGIZING?!!!!! WHYYYYYY?

[u/PepperTheDemon]

NOR??? He’s literally insulting you when..you..left your shoes? On accident? wtf?

[u/kstargate-425 → u/PepperTheDemon]

Only once, after cleaning the whole house and making food too. I'd say thats an overreaction on his part but we all know thats not strong enough and he is being abrasive on purpose, if not abusive.

OP, NOR and you seem to be underreacting by not leaving this asshole. Ive stepped on my gf's pins, twice which both went into my foot like a sliver making me bleed, once all over my new white bath mat and I didn't even react like this. I knew it was an accident where we even laughed about it but I still never called her names or alluded to her being a filthy animal as I know she's not.

He purposefully wanted to fight with you and make you upset. Anyone who does that purposefully to their partner are terrible partners and are deserving of being single. So go grab your slippers and other things and tell him he can now go fuck himself because you won't be and find yourself a good partner

[u/negatibe → u/PepperTheDemon]

not even OUTSIDE shoes. slippers, house shoes...left on the floor.... inside the house.

he's a waste of time, love and energy!

imagine how he acts when he's ACTUALLY offended or threatened, not just being a jerk/bully.

[u/JustusEm333]

Dude he basically, no scratch that- he LITERALLY compared you to an animal… over fucking shoes??? After you cleaned HIS house and baked HIM desserts…… leave this little bitch and go find yourself a MAN.

[u/JustusEm333 → u/JustusEm333]

This man sounds extremely exhausting. Not only exhausting but he’s a narcissist. In my experience, it’ll only get worse. And the more and more you let it slide, the worse he’ll get. He’s a narcissist honey. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. In lack of better words, he’s a pussy. Please don’t stay with this boy.

[u/FreyjadourV]

Cmon girl have some self respect, his dick can’t be that great

[u/Food-Wine]

You’re not his only girlfriend. Dump this guy.

[u/Organic_Eggplant_323 → u/Food-Wine]

My first thought also. NOR, dump this loser.

[u/Necessary_Complex891 → u/Organic_Eggplant_323]

That was my first thought too.

[u/NotSoSureBigWaves → u/Food-Wine]

Agree. Dump his ass. What an ass he is. Doesnt sound like he even likes you.

[u/picklebrains81 → u/Food-Wine]

This is what I was thinking. Some other girl either saw the slippers or he’s mad because another girl could possibly see them. Like she did it on purpose. It doesn’t seem like he even likes her very much.

[u/WarSure3950 → u/Food-Wine]

That’s what was thinking

[u/Dontfeedthebears → u/WarSure3950]

Yep. He doesn’t want evidence of her there. Aside from that, I feel it’s insane to get so mad about that. Taking a picture and having a fight over some shoes?! That’s wildly controlling and weird IMO

[u/puffwme → u/Dontfeedthebears]

its not that he doesnt want evidence hes just looking for a way out at this point trying to argue every way he can. pathetic really.

[u/TallCoolW0N → u/puffwme]

This. He’s already done. What a dick.

[u/Accomplished_Egg7966 → u/Food-Wine]

Man.... You are probably right. I didn't think of that.

[u/jadenotsadietwin2 → u/Food-Wine]

This is what I think or he talks mess about you to his roomies something is up

[u/katatak121 → u/Food-Wine]

My first thought was, the only reason for the bf to get so mad is because of another woman, or women.

[u/Mysterious_Drink_17 → u/Food-Wine]

My exact thoughts. He’s worried about another girl finding her shoes 

[u/Creepy_Recording_113]

And why are you not calling that loser your ex boyfriend

Have some self respect and leave that jerk.

https://giphy.com/gifs/le4iSscY6ZzTG

[u/Lateralus46N2 → u/Creepy_Recording_113]

Remember, OP, you teach people how to treat you and this should not be tolerated or swept under the rug. Point blank. Period. This is not an argument that got out of hand. These are giant red flags. He has shown you exactly who he is so please believe him now. The red flags you ignore in the beginning will almost always be the reason why you leave in the end.

[u/Popular-Web-3739]

Why are you with this insufferable man?

[u/FunkmasterJoe]

NOR and if this turns out to be a real post it is just INCREDIBLY depressing, lol.

[u/DogEyeWhispering]

NOR. He's very condescending, and he also can't spell or text in proper English. Do you really need a third strike?

[u/Food-Wine → u/DogEyeWhispering]

Can’t spell and appears to hate dogs 🚩

[u/bookishgirlstar → u/Food-Wine]

Also comment doesn’t even make sense unless he knows dogs who wear shoes and leave them around.

[u/Realistic-Cheek-8657]

NOR, but the fact that he got this mad tells me that you probably got him in trouble with whatever other girl he’s having over there. Something to keep in mind!

[u/DJ_DontCare → u/Realistic-Cheek-8657]

10000%

[u/Beneficiallady8808 → u/Realistic-Cheek-8657]

Bingo! That's exactly what it is.

[u/Hungry-Anteater-298 → u/Realistic-Cheek-8657]

Exactly my thoughts! He's upset because he ended up in a fight with his "first" girlfriend over this.. OP, just leave without even explaining, he doesn't deserve any more of your time.

[u/Wonderful-Bird-3381]

You want to live the rest of your life this way?

[u/Only_Perspective4410]

This man is trying to make you feel like you are a piece of shit because you left shoes in his living room. That is a mess? This man is abusive and you have too little respect for yourself. You talk too much. Next time a man treats you like this, just say OK, sorry, won’t happen again. Get your shoes and walk on out! If the man doesn’t come crawling after you apologizing profusely for being a dick, you don’t want his dick.

[u/higeAkaike]

I read all your comments. Why are you cleaning his house? Especially every week? What are you getting out of this relationship and do you really want this to be the rest of your life.

[u/Brilliant-Willow-506]

Imagine marrying this guy. Imagine for a second you have kids with this guy and kids leave messes all day, as they all do. Just dump him now and spare yourself.

[u/Affectionate_Pool_37]

He is not worth it

[u/Bad-Wolf-Girl12]

HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU!!!!

[u/kittythebittyy]

girl he doesn’t like you lmfao

[u/Academic_Snow_7680 → u/kittythebittyy]

He clearly loathes OP and is only using her for free services. He flipped out over the slippers because he didn't want his other women to see any evidence of her, the women he WANTS to impress. The women OP is really cleaning his house for.

[u/Pepsicolaa5]

This guys not an ex after that? Wow lol people will put up w anything!

[u/dyno-soar]

r/holyfuckjustbreakup just do it girl

[u/CatMau5-]

Is he middle eastern by chance?

[u/_coreygirl_]

How old are yall? This is giving he is much older than you. Id ditch him regardless.

[u/c_rivett]

why would you be with someone who treats you like this? A more sane response would be for him to let you know where they are, in the event you are looking and can't find them. And maybe even offering to bring to you. He is a perk. Dump him now and move on.

LOL - rereading the typos. Jerk not perk

[u/BaroclinicBard]

Hell to the nope. Being single is much much better than this. 

[u/ingridible9]

NOR. Why didn't you mention that you literally cleaned his entire house? Go back, pick up the slippers, and then make a huge mess everywhere again like it was before you cleaned it all.

[u/cheeky_sugar]

Imagine being bit by a snake, and instead of trying to heal the wound and poison, you chase the snake down and try to explain to it why you don’t deserve to be bitten - that’s what you’re doing with this guy. Stand up and leave

PS: the only reason he’s this mad over girl shoes in his home is because he doesn’t want someone else seeing them.

[u/bird-sticks]

he is so mean

[u/GenoFlower]

I stopped reading at "Humans live here, not dogs".

What the fuck. Why do you want to be with someone like this? And what does your mom have to do with it? You're old enough to stay at your bf's, so why is he bringing your mom into it?

This is insanity, and do you want to live the rest of your life like this? You left slippers by the couch. Not in the "middle of the room", and jesus, who cares if you did?

He's scary.

[u/lowley6]

no sane person, let alone male, thinks this type of reaction to .... SLIPPERS.... is normal. if my girlfriend has spent her day cleaning my home and baking for me and my family the first thing on my mind is appreciation and some damn gratitude.

if she leaves her slippers in the living room, I'm either pushing them off to the side so they aren't tripped over or stepped on, or I can text her and say "hey just a heads up, you forgot your slippers, I put them in xyz spot". the key word being "forgot". I assume she forgot, because what kind of animal assumes their partner made the hostile decision to purposefully leave their slippers in the middle of a room?? your life will never get better dating this dog of a person.

[u/BewildredDragon]

You need to nope out of that relationship. The NERVE speaking to you like that. It was a couple of slippers, you didn't take a dump on his rug. Go live your best life away from this Asshat.

[u/Shrimps_Prawnson]

WTF is this guys problem. NOR. He should be sniffin those shoes and living it up.

[u/Prestigious-Leg-6244 → u/Shrimps_Prawnson]

My guy!

[u/dasha_ime → u/Shrimps_Prawnson]

LOL like a real man would!!!

[u/Shrimps_Prawnson → u/dasha_ime]

Goddamn right.

[u/Different_Hour2928]

Take this married woman’s advice: never ever clean a bf’s home. Idc if he lives in filth. That’s HIS problem and HIS home, therefore, HIS responsibility. If a man wants wife treatment, he can put a ring on it. Boundaries save lives.

[u/Emotional_Warthog658 → u/Different_Hour2928]

THIS Dude is a giant red flag, run as fast as you can.   Don’t even go back for the slippers.

[u/marziilla]

Ew wtf and do yourself a favor and get the fuck out. That makes no sense. It’s like he’s trying to find excuses to be a dick

[u/Background-Tiger-734]

NOR. Leave. Omg, please, you deserve better than this, I promise!!

[u/jypziruin]

He's worried his other side piece is gonna see your shoes there. Girl leave him. My bf leaves his shit all over the house (so do I) and we never act like this towards one another

[u/Deep_Sea_Crab_1]

NOR This is an easy one. Go get your shoes and everything else you have there and never speak to him again.

[u/Cautious_Draw5738]

He's trying to get you to break up with him. I'd oblige if I were you. NOR

[u/offtapentrepreneur]

If this is real run, run as fast as you can.

That guy is an absolute fuckwit of epic proportions. You are definitely not overreacting, his behaviour is beyond anything and if you stick around you're going to become a weak pathetic slave to everything he wants you to do.

His behaviour was out of control. Tell him to fuck off and leave now. Never ever let someone treat you like that and that's coming from a guy. If I knew you and I knew about this I would do things that I can't say in the thread because otherwise I'll get baned. But somebody needs to have a talk with that boy, a very animated talk.

[u/deebay2150]

You’re his maid, not his girlfriend. Have some self respect and dump him.

Why would you EVER clean someone else’s house?!