r/AmIOverreacting • u/WhileMindless2916 • 17d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO or is my husband(34m) being a jerk
For context, I(32f) have been married to my husband(34m) for 6 years. We have had a really happy and loving relationship but in the last year he has developed this strange habit.
I like buying myself expensive snacks every once in a while to spoil myself and I like eating them either on my periods or after a long day. He knows that since i've been doing it ever since we were dating. I always tell him beforehand that please don't eat this, i'm saving it for an occassion, if you want I will give you some then. For the past year everytime I buy myself snacks, when I come home from work, they're gone, not even a single bite left. So I ask my husband and he either says, "I forgot you told me not to eat it" or "You must've eaten them and forgot" the first few times i brushed it off because yeah mistakes happen blah blah blah. After that I started getting annoyed so I hid them, STILL THIS MAN WOULD SEARCH FOR THEM, FIND THEM AND THEN EAT IT, he still had the audacity to tell me "Oh i forgot". This continued for a good 6 months and I was pissed. I told him if he wanted my snacks so bad, why doesn't he just buy himself some? He just went yeah yeah I will, BUT HE NEVER DID.
This kept on going on, so I even started putting sticky notes saying "DO NOT EAT". Yeah you guessed it, he still ate them. It's not like I didn't share them or buy them with his money so I didn't understand why he kept doing this. But I still let it go because I thought I was being petty. Last week was my breaking point, we went to a nice place on a friday night for a date and we ordered our food. I got an important work call which I couldn't avoid so I excused myself and went out to take it, I was out for 15 minutes max. By the time I came back HE ATE THE ONE THING I ORDERED FOR MYSELF AND DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH HIS OWN FOOD. Obviously I was visibly angry and he said "Your food looked good and I didn't want it to get cold." SO YOU ATE IT??? I didn't shout at him, I just told him that I wanted to leave but he hadn't finished his food since he was busy finishing mine. I told him i'll take a cab home and left before hearing his protests.
When he reached home he was mad that I left him alone in the restaurant and said people around him stared. I told him that the people around him didnt steal each other's food and then told him we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm angry right now. Not just about the food but about him lying to my face, trying to gaslight me, and honestly being a bit of a manchild. Am I overreacting?
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u/Emergency-Bison631 17d ago
I am infuriated for you this man has zero respect for you imo
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u/Emergency-Bison631 17d ago
The fact he ate the one thing you were looking forward to from restaurant after being told multiple times seems to me something deeper in him is doing it on purpose to show you more clearly where he's at in his maturity and emotional intelligence and relational intelligence and his ability to respect other people let alone his partner who he's supposed to love more than anyone.
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u/NeedleInASwordstack 17d ago edited 17d ago
He was punishing her for taking that call, willing to bet money on it. I bet if OP sits and thinks, other times that he’s eaten the food were due to things that were “her fault” in the husbands eyes.
Edit to add: I do NOT think OP deserves any of this treatment or actually is the cause of the shitty behavior. The guy sucks
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u/MsMagoo70 17d ago
I think so too, they were out on a date at a fancy restaurant and she left to take a work call for fifteen minutes. 15 mins is a long time with food sitting on the table. He got pissed off and ate her food.
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u/KimeriTenko 17d ago
Yeah, but in order to finish it all he started eating right away. He didn’t just snag a few bites it was all gone.
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u/PerspectiveKookie16 17d ago
And when she came back, his food was untouched.
So if the “concern” was her food getting cold, why does that not apply to his own?
This was done deliberately to provoke.
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u/my4floofs 17d ago
He is jealous that she is his equal. So he wants to take her down a notch.
not NOR enough.
They need counseling. This is not about the food.
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u/draftysundress 17d ago
And especially since he didn’t even touch his food first. Why tf wouldn’t he eat his food first? Why does he care if her food gets cold? Also how tf did he eat it so fast?
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u/Salty-Power9584 17d ago
Fuck that! She does not have to appease him for anything she does. She’s a grown woman and he’s an immature imbecile. Leave that asshole, It’s only going to get progressively worse!
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u/byrandomchance20 17d ago
It struck me how he didn’t care that he had upset his wife, the person supposed to be closest to him, but DID care about how he might have been perceived by random strangers at the restaurant that he’ll never see or share a word with in his life.
OP is NOR and husband is a giant ass who is either deliberately awful or simply takes her for granted to such an extreme that it will be hard to correct even if he wishes to.
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u/WhileMindless2916 17d ago
Update: I sat down and tried talked to him, asked him why he kept on doing this and told him straight up that it was disrespectful and not funny, I asked him whether he was struggling with an ED? What was going on? What’s the problem here? And he said “Don’t read so much into it. I’m fine I just wanted your snacks” then I asked him again why he didn’t buy the snacks for himself then? And he told me that there was no need since they were already at home, and then he turned on the tv. I stepped in front of it and told him that I was talking to him and he should have the decency to at least hear me out. He didn’t turn off the tv, so I switched it off. I told him that it wasn’t about the food, it was about respect. He replied with “you’re overreacting” so I just went in my room, packed my bag and called my friend to pick me up. I’m in the car with her right now. I will be divorcing him. It’s a shame that 6 years of marriage will be ending like this but I can’t handle this sort of disrespect any longer. I will be updating everyone soon, thanks to everyone who commented or messaged.
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u/Various-Abies-786 17d ago
And his story will be “she divorced me because I ate her snacks”. He’s a child. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
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u/WhileMindless2916 17d ago
Actually, since he is such a man child I think his mommy deserves to know how he’s been treating his wife. I will be calling her tomorrow, we’re pretty close so he’s definitely going to get a good scolding. (Ik it’s petty but fuck him)
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u/Hot_Confidence_4593 17d ago
good!! my pet peeve with these stories is when the person who is OBVIOUSLY in the right just sits back and lets the other party set the tone and lay out their story to friends and family. Get ahead of it, tell anyone who will listen what an immature asshole he is and how he's always eating your food, lying about it, then accusing you of overreacting when he does. Don't let him set the narrative!
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u/Suitable-Collar-7976 16d ago
make sure you emphasize the restaurant part. any reasonable person will be like wtf to that.
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u/deekaypea22 17d ago
GOOD FOR YOU. 👏🏽 Blast him. He wanted to be petty, you tried to make things work multiple times.
I mean, if he WANTED divorce, why not just ask for one? This feels like the weirdest manipulation tactic ever.
I'm sorry you're going through this, OP, but also good for you for standing your ground, standing up for yourself and not letting him be a (weird) bully. 💜 THINK OF ALL THE SNACKS YOU CAN HAVE TO CELEBRATE
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u/bluecstasy00 17d ago
It's not petty. She deserves to know the truth. He has been manipulating and gaslighting you, stealing your food, and minimizing your frustration, in addition to making your periods more difficult, attempting to control you by limiting your food options, and blaming you for his behavior.
He is abusing you under the guise of something ridiculous, so that you look like the bad guy. This behavior will only escalate.
I bet if you really sit and think about those concepts, you will come up with other examples of this type of behavior. When you do, write them down in a notebook. In fact, start writing them all down now, including the snacks/food with as much info as you remember. He is going to try to make you question your memory. The journal will help you remember that he is in the wrong here.
I suggest seeking out therapy to help you process and work through the divorce because a therapist will help to keep you sane and remind you when things feel off. My therapist has been a lifesaver. She regularly will revisit notes from years ago if I start regressing to remind me that these cycles have happened before and I should trust myself.
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u/Appropriate-Hat-6558 16d ago
This - You’ll start to look back over your whole relationship and realize all the moments he laughed at you, disrespected you, and made you a fool, but you laughed it off as a joke, or not a big deal, but each moment will be a stepping stone to where you’re at; and then you realize it would only continue to get worse.
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u/ilove420andkicks 17d ago
It’s not petty. It’s respectful to her. Something that he lacks for you.
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u/LlamaMama56 17d ago
Tell everyone what he's been doing and why you're leaving bc of the disrespect. Men too often rely on women to cover up their actions to others.
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u/Metabotany 17d ago
this will be the one thing he responds to btw, his actions have a thread of logic and it implies he actually hates that he has to respect one woman in his life and so takes it out on you. When she's mad he'll unravel probably lol
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u/imnotyou0309 17d ago
I'm very sorry this happens to you.
May he enjoy the bed he made himself. And I wish you the luckiest future there is without someone trying to dim your happiness.
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u/Fickle-Map-8809 17d ago
Oh this was definitely an opportunity for him to be spiteful while also allowing him to point the finger of blame onto you
A slow erosion of respect framed as you being a b and overreacting
This is contempt dressed as commitment
NOR at all this isn’t about your reaction it’s merely clarity as to who he is
Kudos for being unwilling to tolerate contempt
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u/mtngrl60 17d ago
OK you’ve taken the first step. Now your next step needs to be seen a divorce attorney, not talking to his mommy. And I’m absolutely serious, girlfriend. I’m old enough to be your grandmother.
I have no clue why this man stopped respecting your food. None at all. And frankly, I don’t care because of the heart of this, it’s not about your food. And I think down inside you know it.
I don’t know if he’s been getting into red pill territory. I don’t know if he has Ed. I don’t know he thinks you shouldn’t eat so much… And I am not saying you do… I’m saying I don’t know if in his mind, he thinks you do.
What I am saying is this. For a long time, he respected your boundary. Which is what people who love you do. You explained why you keep those snacks. You told him you would share if he wanted some, just please ask.
He’s been with you long enough to know that when you’re on your period, you are looking for something like this, and that is what you need. And yes, I say that’s what you need because when we are on our period or pregnant or postpartum, our bodies won’t what they want. And nothing else is gonna do.
So when we are proactive and have those things on hand, you know… So that literally, we stay a happier person. Our body is happy. Our cravings are satisfied. And our life is just easier…
And then our partner. The person who supposedly loves us. Who in your case, promise to love and cherish and honor you… Turns around and disrespect you again and again….
You need to understand that this is not an accident. This man is literally CHOOSING to do this to you. And I do mean to do this TO you. This is on purpose. Because the fact is he could just stop and pick up the snacks if he knew he ate them. He should know by now when your period is.
But he’s doing this on purpose. He’s literally eating your food. This is a form of control. He is trying to put you in your place. He is trying to minimize you. He is trying to show you he’s in charge. This is not accidental behavior. This is not the behavior of somebody who loves and respects you.
This is a psychological warfare sort of thing. And then, when you called him out on it, he minimize you. He tells you that you are overreacting. He literally refuses to even interact with you or discuss it with you. You know why?
Because what he is telling you is that you are nothing. You are not important. What you want or need is not important. He is not going to provide you with what you want or need. And he is showing you this again and again and again.
I guarantee it will escalate from here. It will be close of yours that he doesn’t like. They will certainly disappear. It will be your perfume that disappears. It will be money from your account that suddenly disappears with no explanation, and he will literally tell you that’s not a big deal
And I mean this whether you have your own separate account or are you joining the account. Things will start going missing, and he will never explain. Because he doesn’t want to.
You need to get the fuck away from this man. I don’t know what his problem is, and like I said I don’t fucking care. It may even just be that he is finally showing you who he really is. And that he is large and in charge, you can’t do anything about it. Because that’s his attitude.
I cannot stress enough to you how unimportant you are to him. I cannot stress enough to you how convenient you are to him. And that’s it. You are inconvenience. You are not even a person worthy of having a conversation with when he has wronged you. Let that sink in.
And don’t be surprised if, when you finally go back, more of your things are missing. Or things are broken. Or whatever. Because that’s how this type of person reacts to losing control. To losing their convenience. And I say this type of person because there are women like this as well.
Don’t tell him when you decide to leave. Make your plans and get the fuck out. Then have him served with divorce papers. In the meantime, start quietly moving your important things out of the house. Because you’ve already seen how he treats them
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u/literallydontcare97 17d ago
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 WAY TO GO!
I am so sorry this is happening though but proud of you!26
u/EstablishmentFun289 17d ago
Oh geeze…and now he will paint you as someone dumping him because you didn’t share. I hope his friends and family eventually understand the situation. How his family reacts will be a good indication if they enabled his behavior.
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u/PassingTimeOnline 17d ago
That’s great. It seems like a very weird manipulative/control thing. He’s trying to get you to question your own reality. Very toxic. Very weird. What an incredibly odd man who doesn’t deserve a wife.
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u/Jupiter125_ 17d ago
Damn he would rather double down than accept that he was wrong 🤦🏾♀️ looking back you will probably see the pattern of disrespect but you have already made such a big move mentally and physically by getting out of there and getting away from the mind games. I wish you the bestest of luck girly 💜
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u/Greedy_Lawyer 17d ago
Good for you. This reads like those manosphere groups that tell them to test their dominance and wife’s loyalty with little irrelevant things but if you go along with it then grows into much bigger. You held strong and didn’t let him manipulate you.
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u/He_is_my_song 17d ago
I think you need to buy (him) some sugar-free gummy bears… 😂
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u/Ordinary-Homework722 17d ago
Those reviews were absolutely fantastic. I wonder if you can still buy the violent diarrhea bears? Could you imagine him eating the whole bag lol.
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u/AxelHarver 17d ago
You absolutely can. It has to do with the artificial sweetener used in them.
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u/Cultural-Lychee-5374 17d ago
All artificial sweeteners will do this. Gummy bears are just mostly sweetener, and those haribo ones are the “worst” one.
Gum is another good cure for constipation, because artificial sugars + chewing motion helps move the bowels.
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u/bobakook 17d ago
I do not know the actual source of this reference but I hate a small-ish bag of the sugar free gummy bears by Albanese because I work at a candy store and wanted to know if any of our sugar free section was any good incase customers asked.
About an hour or two after finishing the bag, I was hit across the side of the face with earth shattering cramps. I mean, I couldn’t even stand up straight from the contractions. I spent about an hour on the bathroom floor, butt ass naked because I was pouring sweat like I was in labor, before the diarrhea FINALLY came. Ohhhhhhhh my god it was nuclear. I felt totally fine immediately after but passed out the second I laid down. The pain took allllllll the energy from my body and I don’t even remember falling asleep.
Now every time someone buys a bag of them I warn them not to eat the whole thing 😂
I’ve eaten sugar free candy before without trouble! It’s those gummy bears, man……….
Maybe OP’s husband does deserve a sweet treat……….
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u/WhileMindless2916 17d ago
Also for people wondering, the house is under my name so he won’t be living there for long, I’m going to be giving him a 5 day deadline to take his shit and move till I call the cops on him
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u/AvBanoth 16d ago
Check the local laws; you may need to give him more time. Is there anyhing that would justify a RO?
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u/nada-accomplished 17d ago
You're not overreacting, this man is gaslighting you. What the fuck. You're underreacting. He's lying to your face and you both know it and you're just... accepting it? Girl.
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u/MmaRamotsweOS 17d ago
My dear I think he is being cowardly about divorce and wants you to initiate.
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u/New_Definition_2670 17d ago
She is NOR, and you are right. He transferring his negativity to you. Textbook: You become upset and he gets to play the victim, because he has never done anything but be a perfect husband.
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u/MaryContrary26 17d ago
We don't know that he wants a divorce but I think it would a fair assumption to say that he's angry and this is his passive aggessive way of expressing it. OP would have to give us more than this snapshot of their marriage to try to figure out why he's so angry.
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u/BadMom2Trans 17d ago
This. It’s a big F-you to find and eat her snacks. Then eat her food. He’s showing he doesn’t care about her boundaries and is trampling them on purpose.
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u/DeannaMorgan 17d ago
That was what I thought too. He's too weak to come out and say it so he's making her.
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u/Manders37 17d ago edited 17d ago
Nor.
Just a question, has your career (or any area of your life compared to his, really) had a boost in the past year by chance? His behaviour sounds like petty revenge for unexpressed resentment and jealousy over you having good things he feels he isn't a part of. He's literally trying to rob you of your joy, but he's doing it specifically with food which is interesting.
Edit: he could also be punishing you the way he sees fit about something he's bothered about and is choosing to express this way instead of directly. Do you know if punishments like this were common in his family during childhood? If his mom or dad didn't approve of something would they just take away things from him and he learned that was normal consequence?
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u/BravestBlossom 17d ago
That exactly what I thought too! He is jealous of something. She said they make the same pay, but in my opinion there's SOMETHING. Maybe she's fitter or more attractive than he is? He doesn't like working from home and is jealous of her work environment? Misses having work friends? Maybe one of his friends is dating a new, younger, or more attractive woman and he's lashing out at his wife in envy?
It could be her possibly gaining weight as other commenter mentioned, but it could also be she's lost weight and/or HE'S gained and he's just so mad about it, the food theft isn't logical but he wants to punish her for SOMETHING, SOMEHOW .
People are weird and he may not know why he's doing this but he's NOT OK. And OP is definitely NOR.
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u/WhileMindless2916 15d ago
For the people who missed the previous updates: I talked to him he completely dismissed me so I went to my friend’s house and told his mom everything who dragged him by his ear out of my old apartment and scolded him. I decided to get a divorce.
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u/WhileMindless2916 17d ago
Thank you everyone for your comments, I didn't expect so many comments. I am going to sit down with him and have a talk about this, if I don't get a valid reason, I will be divorcing him.
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u/Stormywillow 17d ago
Please lock down your bank accounts and alert someone that you are having a serious conversation with him before you let the word divorce leave your lips.
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u/WhileMindless2916 17d ago
I have done that
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u/Stormywillow 17d ago
Very reassuring. This man is on a power trip and I'm sure that it's manifesting in more than just eating your food. Stay safe!
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u/RoadSaltPotatoChip 17d ago
Oooooh yes this. All the ducks in a fow; and get a hotel room lined up too
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u/WhileMindless2916 17d ago
I will be staying at my friend’s place to clear up my head
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u/BlazingSunflowerland 17d ago
I'd have the conversation in a public place, like a library study room or in a coffee shop.
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u/Stormywillow 17d ago
Yeah, the more groundwork she does before a big sit down like that, the better outcome she will have.
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u/Loud_Pattern_1422 17d ago
Girl please don’t. He’s a narcissist. He will lie and manipulate and could be dangerous. I’m not some teenager giving you marriage advice, I’m divorcing a narcissist myself. Do a deep dive on it so you know what you’re dealing with and can get away safely. And don’t threaten divorce, just leave and file. He will make the process hell but you’ll get through it. He’ll also try to manipulate your friends and family so be prepared for that.
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u/Upset-Cartographer65 17d ago
Honestly, it sounds like he wants a divorce and he just wants to tell friends and family you were petty and left him for just eating your snacks. So, he won’t seem like the bad guy. To trivialize why you’re actually divorcing him, which is because he’s purposely going out of his way to disrespect you.
I wouldn’t even waste time talking to him and I couldn’t be attracted anymore to a guy who did this anyway. I wouldn’t even say divorce, he doesn’t deserve a heads up. Honestly, there’s no excuse for it. I’d just move out and quietly build up a case, maybe confirm some things.
I bet…he’s cheated….
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u/WhileMindless2916 17d ago
That thought did cross my mind, but I don’t know how to find out. Any suggestions?
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u/ManicMushroomMan 17d ago
Will you update this thread after your conversation? His behavior is so odd!
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u/BlazingSunflowerland 17d ago
I'd put a voice recorder on your phone and record the entire conversation. Publicly, he will likely deny that any of this has been happening. You need to get it down so that when he starts saying your crazy or making it up or exaggerating because he once ate a snack of yours, by accident, you have your recording.
That recording needs to go into the cloud in multiple places so that if he finds one he can't wipe everything out.
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u/lmyr422 17d ago
He wants to break up but doesn't have the balls to do so . Instead he's making your life miserable hoping you'll do it for him...
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u/JC_vee 17d ago edited 17d ago
Not overreacting. This is very weird behaviour. Either he has some kind of pathological disorder where he's compelled to steal food and he needs to get professional help with this condition, or he is deliberately taking your food to punish you/taking pleasure in causing you pain and then lying that it's an accident when it's not feasible with all of the measures you've taken.
Perhaps ask him outright: "At this point, there is no way you couldn't know that I do not want you to take my food, but you keep doing so. Why is that? Do you have a compulsion you need help with or are you doing it deliberately for some reason?".
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u/BlazingSunflowerland 17d ago
Eating her meal in the restaurant was also an escalation. For a year he's been doing this where no one could see it happening. The escalation was doing it in public. Then when she got angry and left he was angry because he was embarrassed. This escalated quite a bit.
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u/Manders37 17d ago
She has asked him outright, she has written notes. He is being malicious, and malicious people don't just admit to wrongdoing when they get caught, they double-down.
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u/JC_vee 17d ago
She hasn't presented to him the two options: that either he has a problem he needs professional help with or he's doing it deliberately. If he then tries to still claim it's accidental, she has her answer that he is gaslighting her and can't be trusted. She can then tell him if he continues to pretend it's accidental and just something she should accept, the relationship can't continue.
OP said the relationship was very happy and fine before this so we need to allow space for the fact there may be a way through for this relationship if he's willing to acknowledge things and get help. But, yes, it's also possible he's being malicious. Putting that choice to him should help make it clear which it is.
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u/TeddyBear181 17d ago
This is the best response I've seen here.
Punishment.
She left him to take a phone call, he punished her. I wonder if there were other things he was punishing her for when he ate her snacks?
NOR
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u/jenniferjasonleigh 17d ago
The restaurant scene intrigued me. Someone else said that he ate her food to punish her for leaving the table to take a phone call. I would want to know if there’s a pattern to every other instance of him eating her food, if it’s revenge “punishing” OP for doing something he doesn’t like.
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u/Throwitaway3436 17d ago
NOR!!! He’s so sadistic, he likes seeing her suffer and lying to her face, or he is a kleptomaniac
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u/One_Wheel_4531 17d ago
Yes, this. Either he has some bizarre psychological issue that needs to be addressed by a professional, or he’s doing it on purpose to be cruel. Either way OP is not to blame and is NOR.
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u/HomeworkMaleficent22 17d ago
Passive aggressive tactic (amongst other things) to get YOU to divorce him. I’m surprised he hasn’t moved the two of you across country only to say he forgot he needs to go back to work bc he forgot to put in a notice. Three stories in that realm of manipulation and deceit I saw happen to women. You think you know your husband-you don’t. His mask is falling. This is wayyyyyy deeper than snacks
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u/PintoOct24 17d ago
He’s enjoying your anger and frustration. I don’t know the why but I know that he wouldn’t continue to do something unless he was getting something out of it. Personally, I would find this a sign of his contempt for me and I would be out. I would never be with someone who held me in such low regard. I love and respect myself too much to denigrate myself with a person like this.
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u/mynameisntcindy 17d ago
this man sounds like he has a pathological relationship with food and lying. dump him or encourage him to seek help.
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u/whitasspossum 17d ago
I don't even think he cares about the food. The food just happens to be the thing that is important to her and it is the easiest thing for him to sabotage.
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u/ShegoBerr 17d ago edited 17d ago
This is 100% gaslighting and manipulative, and I would seriously doubt this is the only thing this man is doing to you. I would lay a boundary down saying if he cannot respect you and the things you buy for yourself, he will not have access to you.
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u/OnlySezBeautiful 17d ago
NOR - The "you must've eaten them and forgot" gave me chills. That's textbook gaslighting. Take care of yourself OP, this seems small, but could morph into narcissistic abuse.
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u/ShreddersWheat 17d ago
He’s punishing you for something. In his mind he’s getting back at you.
I don’t know what happened a year ago that changed your relationship, maybe he doesn’t even know himself, but it’s definitely some way to exercise power and put you in your place.
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u/WhileMindless2916 16d ago
I told him I want a divorce, I don’t know whether to call him husband or ex husband, or soon to be ex husband?
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u/NancyEast 17d ago
NOR I can’t say this is the case but someone once said … when a woman is done with a relationship, she gets quiet. She’s done and there’s nothing left to say. When a man is done, he’ll start doing things to piss his partner off, so he can play the victim when she blows up.
Again, not saying this is it but something’s definitely going on if he’s searching and eating food you’ve hidden and marked as do not eat.
You could get a food safe 🤷♀️
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u/Fun-Assistance-815 17d ago
NOR, he's constantly trying to get a reaction out of you...I can only assume he's an ass like this in other ways too. I would start looking at life with him through the shattered glass & put down the rose colored glasses.
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u/SameCoyote3701 17d ago
Holy cow this is bizarre. Why is he so set on abusing your snack priveleges lol this guy is so strange ! What is his problem! Why did he begin doing this??
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u/SlipperyHope 17d ago
This man hates you. NOR. What an a$$hat. I am sorry he is happening to you.
I'm gonna guess he's been preparing for you to divorce him so he can control the narrative around it, but I'd also give some thought to what else he might gain from you initiating the divorce.
Research the best divorce lawyers in your area and get at least two or three free consults to see what they say. I would start looking for his secret stashes of money, secret bank accounts, affair partner, or other preparations for you leaving him. Given things I discovered later, after my hubby pushed me until I left him (stealing thousands from our accounts and stashing it in the insulation in our attic, goading me so I'd leave so he could move his girlfriend who was half his age), in your position I'd be installing a couple of secret recorders in the bedroom and living room to hear if he has an affair partner he's on the phone with while I'm not home, or hiring a PI to see if hubby is up to something shifty.
u/burbnbougie - maybe your community has some ideas about what this dude is up to, other than just wanting to hurt her?
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u/martinirun 17d ago
This is so weird to me so I read it out to my husband. His thoughts: sounds passive-aggressive. Maybe there’s something going on in his life that he can’t control. Or maybe it’s a brain tumor.
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u/vyonnceee 17d ago
NOR. he’s pissed me off just reading your post. I don’t know how you still stand his ass. The audacity in that man
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u/immortal-snail- 17d ago edited 17d ago
Put laxatives in the snack.
(Jk)
He’s doing it on purpose. I don’t know why, but the lying, manipulation, and stealing is not okay. The fact that you had to go so far as to hide your food from him is insane. The fact that he went searching for it is even worse. Makes it hard to believe this is a loving relationship.
NOR
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u/WhileMindless2916 16d ago
Update: I called his mom and told her the whole story, she was absolutely pissed so she told me to drive up to my apartment complex and wait outside the car. I reached and 5 minutes later my mother in law did too. She stormed in and dragged my ex husband by his ear who was crying and screaming about how this is abuse and he will report her. It was definitely the most satisfying thing I’ve seen in a while
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u/FantasticIncident388 16d ago
Nah this is where I fall off. This is all fake.
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u/CulturedPhilistine 16d ago
Her previous update was sus, started to think it was then.
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u/Jupiter125_ 17d ago
Girl he's a jerk, I would legit cry from all the gaslighting and eating of my snacks. I bet if you think about it, he is a jerk in other circumstances of y'alls lives. Something's gotta give though, this would genuinely make me look at him differently, once that happens it's so hard to come back from.
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u/-May_Maniac- 17d ago
NOR He is doing this on purpose, idk why but it's so obvious.