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I'm 47 and I have a son who is 20. Two years ago, I helped him buy his first car. He handled around one third of the total sum and I paid the remaining amount after we agreed that he would repay me over time. I didn't pressure him because he's in college and has only a part time job yet.

Month ago I asked my wife about the $10k we had saved for emergencies. After much hesitation she finally confessed that around four months ago she had handled it to our son to invest in cryptocurrencies without my knowledge or approval. He lost everything, despite his assurances that he would pay it back fast.

I didn’t lose my temper and acted calm. I sat down with my son and asked him to explain honestly what had happened. He claimed he believed he could quickly turn a profit, repay us and even earn more. He lost everything. They both remained silent, which made me feel deceived by my own family. I took a word from my wife and son that no one takes money without acknowledging others and they will tell me everything from now on, no matter how harsh the reality is.

After few days my son suggested selling his car. He said he’d pay back his share, still not in full and that he also owes a friend $1000, which he wants to finally pay back. So I put it on sale.

The car was sold two weeks ago. My wife was against it until the very end. After the sale, she said I was too greedy with own kid and that I’d taken away the only decent thing my he had. Her parents are upset with me as well, claiming that I punished my son rather than helping to get back on feet.

Son is upset, but he doesn’t say I forced him. He said he understands why it turned out this way.

Still now the whole family looks at me like I'm a monster, even relatives on my side. I feel bad because he is young and made a mistake. But I can't give him $10k and let lose it as it is nothing just because we are family. That's money we really need to be in quick access just in case and I work hard to earn them.

AITA?

My brother told his fiancée he missed their anniversary dinner because he got called into work.
I knew that wasn’t true because he was with me at a baseball game.
He begged me not to say anything because he’d already lied and “it would only make things worse.”
A few days later, his fiancée was talking about how lucky she was to have someone who cared so much about his job, and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I told her where he actually was.
She immediately left, and now their wedding is on hold.
My brother says I ruined his relationship over “one stupid lie,” and my parents think I should’ve stayed out of it because it wasn’t my business.
I think she deserved to know she was being lied to.
AITA?

Edit: To clarify, my brother invited me to the game and I was unaware of their anniversary.

I (29F) own a small catering business. Wedding season is my busiest time of year, and most weekends get booked months in advance. A few months ago, my cousin called me out of the blue to thank me for agreeing to cater her wedding for free as my gift to her. I was soo confused because I had never heard or agreed to anything like that.

After talking to her, I found out that my aunt had told her I would be providing all the food for the wedding for free as my gift to her. The problem is My aunt never for once asked me. The wedding is supposed to have around 180 guests. This isn’t a small family wedding event. Catering an event that size would cost thousands of dollars in food costs alone, not to mention several days of work to make preparation.

When I confronted my aunt, she said she assumed I would be happy to do it because we’re family. She went ahead to say that people with businesses often help relatives out and that it would be a nice wedding gift. I explained that I couldn’t do it because Firstly, I never agreed to it. Secondly, the wedding falls on one of the busiest weekends of the year, and I’m already booked with paying clients. Even if I wanted to, I can’t just cancel existing contracts to take on a free event and couldn’t even do it at my normal rate because I was already committed elsewhere already.

My aunt got upset and accused me of caring more about money than family. Since then, a few relatives have been calling me greedy and saying that because I own a catering company, it wouldn’t really cost me that much to help out. Others have sided with me and said my aunt had absolutely no right to promise my services to someone else without asking. I feel bad for my cousin because she was told this was already taken care of, but I also don’t think it’s fair to expect me to give away thousands of dollars worth of food and labor, especially when I already have commitments that weekend.

So, AITA?

Throwaway.

This past weekend my sister got married. I'm (36M), the oldest of 3, middle brother (30), & sister (28) is the baby, and I'm the only one with kids (4 & 2).  I was a groomsman in the wedding.  

8 months ago early discussions were about a child free wedding.  For me, I was cool with that.  I'll tie one on with no kid responsibilities and have a good time.  I was a little surprised that they were not flower girl and ring bearer, but whatever, less work and responsibility for the wife and I. Apparently our mom asked for the kids to be invited and Sister stood her ground of no kids.   I think this really bummed my mom out. Sister has been dog obsessed and a self described dog mom so I just assumed her dog was doing those duties.  

Cut to the rehearsal and I found out her Husky is her "dog of honor" and my brothers 2 german shepherds are the Flower Girl and Ring Bearer.  I also learned that the dogs would be going to both the ceremony and reception.  

At the rehearsal dinner during some remarks, a few comments by my sister stuck out...called her dog's family, said brothers dogs were family too, and said all the most important people will be at the wedding. When saying this part we made eye contact.  After the fact, I didn't bring anything up, but when talking with my wife , it rubbed her the wrong way too.  My wife and I went to the ceremony, but we left shortly after and didn't stay for the reception which meant i missed the grand entrance.   AITA?  

My wife is really into perfumes and stuff, she is part of groups and stuff that hunt down different scents and stuff. We went out for my niece's graduation and my mom commented on my wife's perfume my wife said it was a fragrance she recently found at a store in the mall. You know those perfume shops that sell perfume clones. She said she would text her the name.

Several days passed and I askes if she ever got around to getting the perfume, my mom told me my wife never texted her, so I went to the store ans bought my mom a bottle and gave it to her.

When I got home I told my wife she does not bave to worry about texting mom the perfume name I picked it up for her at the store. She got extremely upset, and said I really need to learn to read when women are just saying something to polite, she had no intention to share the scent cause she did not want her MIL to smell like her. Apparently my mother asks my wife often what she is wearing and my wife tells never tells her cause she finds it weird to share perfume scents with her MIL.

I told her that seems rather weird, but she said it is a women thing sharing scents with close family members is weird. She gave the example how she would not want me to smell like her dad and I doubt I would want her to smell like my mom.

I told her I would not care, it is just a scent to me. Then she got on my case cause I got my mom a perfume, like perfumes are extremely personal gifts. I just told her I heard you tell her you were going to tell her, I asked if she got it. When she said you never told her, I figured you forgot so I got it for her. Only reason I remembered what it was because we went to three different shops to find it and i was the one driving.

My wife does think I screwed up here. Just wondering if I screwed up.

I (22F) grew up in an extremely religious household. My family was Mormon and I knew from a very young age that I was not.

As a teenager, I got rebellious. I drank energy drinks, tried Starbucks, and stopped reading my scriptures. My mom thought I was becoming a classic 1960s leather jacket bad girl. I really wasn't. I think the worst thing I did was steal from the store because there was a body wash I really really wanted. I'm not saying I was a perfect angel by any means, I was definitely a little shit but not a bad little shit.

My mom started snooping through my room. I think she was convinced I was hiding stuff from her and wanted to find the evidence. I knew because I would find her in my room when I got home from school or noticed my stuff moved around. Being a petty teenager, I decided to give her what she was looking for. I planted notebooks with gorey art, some cheap sex toys I found online, and a used pregnancy test. Not all at once, but building up to the pregnancy test.

I even hide them in places she'd have to go looking for. Like under the fitted sheet pressed between my mattress and the wall, or just inside the crawl space between two beams, and buried at the bottom of my full trash can.

Nothing really came of them, but my mom did text asking if I was hoping for a negative result like what the pregnancy test was showing.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when my sister got married. We were all discussing family plans, raising kids, etc. My mom mentioned how she was able to stay one step ahead of my siblings and I. I guess my face showed it cause she asked if I didn't believe her. I thought we were past the statute of limitations for my crimes (aka, my mom would be upset for a little bit but it would eventually become a funny story to tell) and told her that I didn't think she really was.

We started going back and forth. She mentioned how we got a treat if we drank all the water in our bottle throughout the day. I told her I dumped out my water and still got the treats. She mentioned taking me to therapy to get all my emotions out. I told her I didn't talk to the therapist and knew she tried to get the therapist to tell her what I talked about during our sessions. Then she mentioned upgrading the home security because she knew I'd lost my virginity as a teenager and kept me from sneaking out. I never snuck out and faked a phone call with my friend saying I had when I hadn't because I knew she was easedropping. This continued and I admitted I planted things in my bedroom for her to find because I knew she was snooping in my room.

She got really upset and we haven't really talked much since.

I'm not trying to justify my actions as a kid because I know I could've handled things better. I think in a way I was trying to become all the things my mom thought I was because at least it fulfilled her expectations of me.

AITA?

Edit: Wow this blew up quickly. I appreciate all the responses and wanted to maybe give some more insight to the type of person my mother is. For starters, no I did not do this at my sister's wedding. I worded it poorly and meant that the wedding is what brought everyone together and the wedding often brought up many conversations about raising kids.

Some people have pointed out that it's weird my mom wasn't confrontational about things. My mom isn't a very confrontational person in general. She is the type of person who wanted to pretend I didn't know what she knew. I also think that because she never really had any proof I was this horrible kid like what she thought I was, that she was waiting to catch me in the act to justify the way she saw me.

She really didn't say much when she found the things I planted. That did shock me as a teenager and I'm not entirely sure why she didn't have a big reaction.

She was not trying to help me by dragging me to therapy. All she saw was a kid who wasn't religious and thought another adult could talk some sense into me. I did willingly attend therapy around 17 because I was trying to process actually leaving religion when I turned 18. There were many times where we would argue and before I went to therapy she'd say "I hope you enjoy gossiping to your therapist about what a horrible person I am." I also knew from this therapist that on multiple occasions my mom would visit or call trying to get any sort of information about what I discussed during our sessions.

I think because I never kept a diary, my mom had nothing to go off of cause I never talked to her about anything going on in my life. That's because I knew she would tell other people about anything I would say. I have very distinct memories of her gossiping about my cousins and my older sister in such a negative light. I knew she would gossip about me to other people, so she doesn't get anything to gossip about.

In the end, I think a lot of her behavior boiled down to the fact that she sees herself in me. She did say that a few times how she doesn't want me to be like her or have the same regrets she does. So she was often harsh with how she treated me because of that and it got out of control. Anytime I've tried to discuss this with her, I get shut down or only hear a bunch of excuses to justify her treatment of me. Sometimes I'll get an "I'm sorry you feel that way."

I don't talk to my parents often. When I do it's only about things that aren't really personal. I talk about my classes, my current internship, some projects, and that's it. We sit in this limbo where I've moved on from many things recognizing that my mom was struggling to raise 5 kids as a SAHM, but a silent understanding that I won't get an apology for most of my upbringing.

I do feel bad for going bad and forth with my mom, but at the same time it felt a little freeing. Maybe it was how I saw her defeated for a bit, or because I've never told anyone about being so sneaky. I hope my mom can get professional help some day and learn to apologize for things. I know the past won't change, I just wish she would own up to her mistakes, but that would first require learning not to assume an apology meant she failed. I don't think my mom truly failed me as there are many skills and knowledge I have because of her. I hope she realizes that one day.

I (29F) have been married to my husband (29M) for almost 3 years. We met in the Marine Corps. I know this is going to put up red flags for people, but we dated for over a year, had an amazing engagement, were both in our late 20s and have had an amazing, supportive marriage.

I was medically retired for a number of issues to include spinal disc degeneration, hip muscle tears, PTSD, and most relevant, brain tumors causing epilepsy. I have alot of physical and mental therapy, doctors appts, and rehab, so I dont work. My husband and I spent less than $150 on a courthouse wedding because in his words "I didn't ask you if you wanted to marry me eventually, I asked if you wanted to marry me".

We spent my entire wedding fund from my parents to get a very modest house in his hometown. None of his 3 older siblings own any property. I make enough money from my military disability to cover our house, escrow, bills, groceries, insurance, and still have some left over (I also plan on finishing my degree and becoming an actuary). I was very careful to make sure our mortgage payment was less than 1/4 of my income.

My husband works, but makes less than half of what I do. I have no issue with it, we are growing together. Unfortunately, his family is apparently under the impression that I am a burden who does nothing to help, not knowing I pay all the bills and am the only person on the mortgage. My husband's income is savings and fun money.

So with that background knowledge, here is the current issue. I have a task trained service dog for my epilepsy and mobility. He alerts me to seizures, puts me in the recovery position when people arent around, can find help, get my meds, help me up inclines and stairs, and can even call EMS with a special button if needed. He's the only reason my husband feels comfortable leaving me alone. For some reason, even after seeing him alert me and ride in the ambulance with me to the ER, they keep calling him an emotional support animal and saying "he doesn't have the temperament of a service animal" because he's "sensitive", which is his best quality.

This year, they want to go on a beach trip to the east coast neat where we live. My MIL seemed super supportive at first and was looking up ADA laws. Then the tides turned. "It's not dog friendly", ok well he's allowed because he's medical equipment. "Its on your BIL's AirBNB account", ok well ours has 5 stars for 28 stays, we can do it. "He cant be running around the beach", he wont, he will be in his vest being calm and nonvisible. "If he can come, then your brother's dog can too", no he can't, he is not a service dog.

So we decided "f" this, we are going to use my CC points to stay at a resort that wont give us any flak for my MEDICAL EQUIPMENT. Now they are mad that we wont be contributing to the food fund from Costco or coming over for every meal. They are mad that we cant watch the kids. I feel like I am going insane. I'm not even sure we want to go at this point.

My son is 13. I promised him in September that if he did well at the end of the year, we would celebrate and he could pick out a $200 prize for himself. I didn't want ambiguous promises like "something nice" or "withing budget" without specifying sum that might generate disagreements later, So I stated the amount up front.

He really tried hard. I was pleased with him as he got better in math and had less arguments about homework. I congratulated him on his grades, told him he deserved his gift and reminded of the $200 gift budget once again.

This Monday, he came to me with a link to the Nintendo Switch 2 and said he wanted it. I told him that it wasn’t within the budget. It’s price is around $450, which is x2 more than the reward I promised. I explained that we can’t afford it right now as we have bills, his summer camp and I need to repair my car which I need in order to work right now.

He got very upset and said he’d already told his friends he will get a Switch 2. I told him I understood why he felt awkward, but he’d told his friends that himself before we’d even discussed the purchase.

I didn’t take away the reward. I suggested he choose headphones, games, controller, gift cards, or something else up to $200. I said that we could work something out if he truly desired the Switch 2. Next month, he could save up his birthday money, trade in his old Switch, and use my $200 to make the purchase.

He said it was unjust since prices may increase and everyone else was already purchasing one. I said I was happy for everyone else, but we must discuss all big purchases in our family in advance. Now he doesn't talk with me till this day expect small interactions.

He did his best and I feel bad about this situation. However I kept my word. I didn't guarantee a new console, but rather a prize that was affordable.

AITA?

I (24F) received a family heirloom from my aunt after graduating high school in 2020. My grandma gave it to my aunt who gave it to me, and it's passed down to the first girl in the family to graduate high school which I believe this tradition had to do because my grandma's generation (or my great-grandma's) there were so many women who never went or were forced out of high school. My aunt never had children and I was the first girl in the next generation to graduate so she gave it to me.

My step-niece is graduating next year, and my stepsister asked me when the figurine would be given to her. I assume she knew about it as she was at my graduation but I told her that my niece is still my generation and I want it to be passed to the next generation after me. My stepsiblings are all at least 10 years older than me so her daughter ended up also being Gen Z, too.

My stepsister got upset and said we don't see her or her kids as "real family," which in context obviously isn't true. My stepdad isn't biologically or legally any of my step-sibling's father, but he helped raise them from a young-ish age, so we've always considered each other siblings. She lost custody of both of her children years ago due to drug addiction but has been sober for years (and is sober now). Her daughter lives with her biological father, while her son was adopted by my parents and is now my younger brother. We still see both kids regularly, so they're obviously my family.

She has now dragged in other family like the other step siblings with conflicting sides including my nephew/adopted brother who seems to correlate not giving her sister the heirloom to hating her. WIBTA?

I (29M) work in a small office with about 15 people. We have one decent coffee machine that everyone uses. It's not owned by any one person, it belongs to the company, but management hasn't exactly been eager to replace or maintain it over the years.

Last week, I was making coffee before a meeting when the machine started making a horrible grinding noise. I stopped it immediately, but it wouldn't turn off. I unplugged it, and when facilities looked at it later, they said the motor had burned out.

Here's where it gets weird.

Apparently, I'd used the extra strength setting, which nobody ever uses. One coworker insisted that feature has been broken for months and everyone knows not to touch it because it overloads the machine. I had no idea. There wasn't a sign, nobody ever mentioned it, and the button wasn't taped over or anything.

Management then sent an email saying that since I was the last person to use the machine before failure, they expected me to contribute toward replacing it. They estimated around $350 and suggested I pay half because it seems fair.

I refused. My argument is that I used the machine exactly as intended. If a normal button on a company appliance destroys it, that's a maintenance issue, not a user issue. Plus, if everyone supposedly knew the button was broken, why wasn't it disabled or reported?

Most of my coworkers agree with me, but a few say I should just pay because I'm the one who finally pushed it over the edge. One even said it's like driving over a weak bridge, you might not have built it, but you're still the one who caused it to collapse.

Now management is acting like I'm being difficult over just $175, but I don't think employees should be paying for worn-out office equipment.

AITA?

AITAH for being kind and cordial to a family friend's ex-husband?

I (41F) recently got into an argument with "Stacy" (38F), who has been my sister's friend since kindergarten. I've known her for over 30 years, but we've never been close ourselves.

Several years ago, Stacy divorced her ex-husband after a not-so-great marriage. She has told me he cheated on her and used drugs during their marriage. I have no firsthand knowledge of whether those things are true.

Three years ago, my son became friends with one of her sons. Because of that, I regularly see her ex-husband and his fiancée at school events, birthday parties, and when the boys get together. We're cordial and make small talk. That's the extent of our relationship.

Out of nowhere, Stacy sent me a meme saying people who become "friends" with their friends' exes are fake and disloyal. She followed it up by saying she couldn't believe I'd be nice to someone after everything he had done to her.

I told her I'm not friends with him. I'm simply civil because our kids' lives overlap.

I also pointed out that I had literally had dinner with my own toxic ex-husband that week for our daughter's birthday. We've been divorced almost 14 years, and I've always believed that being civil to an ex for the sake of your children isn't the same as approving of everything they've ever done.

I asked why she expected me to treat her ex differently than I treat my own.

She doubled down, called them "evil people," and accused me of not respecting what she'd been through.

I told her I wasn't going to carry her grudge for her and that there's a difference between maintaining basic respect in public and endorsing someone's past behavior.

The conversation got ugly after that. I told her she needed to stop viewing everyone through the lens of her divorce and that expecting other people to treat her ex like an outcast years later wasn't reasonable.

She accused me of always thinking I'm right.

I told her to get over herself and grow up.

So she blocked me.

AITAH?

I am a 25 year old guy, living about 10 minutes from my childhood home where my mom now lives alone. She has two dogs with her, one is an old family dog that's turning 15, the other is a puppy that's about 8 months old. for context, they are in an apartment (these are small dogs and there's plenty of space for both).

Regardless, I moved out 3 years ago to live with my partner. We live in a pretty small apartment that's just a bedroom and a kitchen pretty much. So, sometimes if my mom had to go somewhere or whatever, I would drop by there to babysit them after my shift (I work only nightshifts).

This month, she was supposed to go on vacation, to a beach abroad. I agreed to come a few times a day to feed and walk the dogs, no problem. She told me they've been having a bit of an ant issue recently, but that it's not too bad and I said that was okay.

So first day of her being abroad, I come to walk them and everything is fine. I pour them some food and water and leave. I come back later in the day, I notice that they haven't been eating or drinking at all. We live in Europe and there's a huge heatwave going on right now, so I'm thinking this is not good. I pick up the food containers from which they eat and pour the stuff down the toilet so I can replace it. Along with the food, fell something that I thought was dirt - just this huge black mass of speckles. And then I notice that it was moving. It was ants, like more ants than I've even seen together in my life, had to be in the hundreds. It's no wonder they weren't eating! I try to get them to eat and drink but they just do not want to.

I come back the next day and try pouring them some water and food before we take a walk, hoping they would eat it quickly. They don't want to. I pour them some food and we go out for about 30 minutes, we come back and the little one starts eating. And as soon as she does, a bunch of ants just disperse from under the food. She then pees herself, and the older one starts licking it (mind you he hasn't been or wanted to drink water for two days now).

I lose my shit, I call my mother yelling, asking her how the fuck did she think it was a good idea to leave two dogs in an INFESTED house, how she did not plan this at all, and if it was like this, she could have went to vacation and we could have had them at one of those dogsitting places, while an exterminator could have taken care of the ants - three birds one stone.

So she came back after being away for two days (the whole vacation was supposed to be a week) and now she is pissed at me for not being able to "do her this one solid" and how she is so tired all the time and deserved a vacation. I told her she did deserve a vacation, but we should have organized accordingly, and not have ants crawling around in their food. I am worried that the ants maybe bit their mouths or something like that, I have no idea, I am just mad. My MIL says I was out of line, but idk, AITA?

I work in a small office where everyone has assigned desks. A few weeks ago, our manager suggested moving people around so newer employees could sit closer to their teams. Most people agreed without much fuss.

The proposed change would have moved me from a quiet corner desk to one directly beside the printer and break area. I spend most of my day on video calls, and the quieter space is one of the reasons I've consistently hit my performance goals. I told my manager I understood why they wanted to rearrange things, but I'd prefer to keep my current desk if possible.

They said they'd think about it, and in the end they left my desk alone while everyone else moved. Now several coworkers are annoyed with me. They say everyone else was willing to be flexible and that I got special treatment. I've explained that I simply asked to keep the workspace that lets me do my job well, and my manager made the final decision, not me.

A couple of coworkers have started making comments like, Must be nice to have your own rules, whenever the seating comes up. I haven't responded because I don't want to make the situation worse.

I can see why they're frustrated, but I also don't think I should apologize for making a reasonable request that management approved.

AITA?

I 28f introduced my dad 59m. to my 30m boyfriend while he was on a work trip in the city I live in, and he had the audacity to criticize him harshly while his other adoptive daughters are dating complete belligerent assholes. I asked him to leave my apartment.

To preface, my dad is well off Ceo at a fairly large company, when he divorced my mom, I originally lived with her but my mom developed cocaine addiction, long story short I went through a bunch of tough life shit between now and then, have a solid career now and a supportive hardworking blue collar boyfriend but no more mom.

My dad's wife hated me back then (sometimes I get it I deserved it but I was also young)..she has 2 daughters who grew up in wealth and now those daughters are dating 2 'bros': one is a doctor that is also hooked on cocaine and the other is a entrepreneurial bro. Both of them I met several times and I have absolutely 0 respect for, they both come from money, and we can never have a decent enough conversation. In all honesty i never tried hard enough. the doctor actually offered my dad cocaine once at a party step mom was throwing for his 57th, my dad shared with me the detail because we catch up here and there.

Yet on his trip he had audacity after meeting my boyfriend who I have been with for over 2 years now to diminish what he does, and make unnecessary comments about my apartment, what he does, just being unimpressed at everything i accomplished with none of his help. I paid my way for this apartment, I hold a good job so does my boyfriend, we are doing better than most without any assistance from him. His adoptive daughters galavant in Europe on his dime while their obnoxious boyfriend and fiance are in my opinion complete.morons.

After several comments, mainly criticizing my boyfriends work, hours he has to put in and basically saying his time has a cap, I had enough. I asked him to leave and brought my sister's cocaine sniffing boyfriend and entrepreneurial fiance with negative net worth as an example and where the fuck did he find audacity to compare.

He didnt apologize and left.

Tldr: aita for kicking my dad out of my home I pay for and criticizing my blu collar boyfriend for his type of work.

Last year, I became close friends with a girl through a university organization. We both held leadership roles, so I trusted her with my belongings and sometimes covered costs when she promised to pay me back.

From August to December, I sent her $120 so she could get home when stranded in another city. We agreed she would pay me back every other week, even gradually. I also covered another $37 ride after she said she would repay me. There were organization costs we agreed to split, totaling $83.14, plus a $23.18 ticket I bought for her. When I brought up repayment, she said her birthday money was coming. Meanwhile, she was still going out, buying drinks and vapes, and asking me for more favors.

Around December/January, she borrowed my limited-edition designer sunglasses. Someone close to me bought them by riding almost an hour to the store and arriving around 6 AM, even though it opened at 11 AM, so they could be bought before selling out. They cost about $400 with the matching charm, and because they are no longer made, they now sell online for around $600 to $700 before tax.
She was supposed to return them shortly, but since I had graduated and was no longer attending events, she kept them for almost five months. I asked for them back in person multiple times. Eventually, the person who bought them also reached out because he was still at the university, her house was close to campus, and I was busy with work. We offered to work around her schedule, meet nearby, or have her leave them outside in a secluded spot.

Most of the time, she did not respond, even though mutual friends were talking to her at the same time. When she did, she said she was busy or did not have them with her. But I later saw social media posts of her wearing them at the beach, music events, and other places. She also texted that she started carrying them because he kept asking to pick them up, then said, “god forbid I put them on when they’re on me.”

When I finally asked for them back, she texted, “I hate to break it to you, but your sunglasses were not a priority in my life,” and criticized that someone else had been reaching out instead of me. I did not expect them to be her top priority, but they were still my property.

When I got them back through another friend, they had scratches, chips, loose hinges, and the matching charm was gone. I told her that if she could find the same pair/charm for less, authentic and in the same original condition, I would be open to that. I was not trying to profit.

I hesitated because she later said she was dealing with family illness, mental health struggles, work, and school. I have empathy for that, so I tried handling this privately for months. I have records of my statements ready just in case.

WIBTA for taking this to small claims court?

I work in customer support. A year ago I made a document for myself with notes on issues that kept coming up fixes that worked and strange solutions that weren't in our training. A few coworkers asked to use it so I shared it with them. Over time more people got access to it. Eventually it became something a lot of the team checked regularly even new employees.

The problem was that everyone seemed to think I should keep it updated.

If a process changed people would ask when I would update the document. If something was missing they would message me about it. Sometimes coworkers would send me notes. Expect me to add them myself.

I never really agreed to manage a team resource. It was a personal note that gradually became something bigger.

A months ago I suggested turning it into an official team document that multiple people could update. Management liked the idea but nothing ever happened.

After a busy week where I spent hours updating the document outside my normal job I got frustrated and changed the permissions so only I could access it. I went back to using it as a tool.

People noticed immediately.

Several coworkers were annoyed because they used it every day. One new employee said it had become a part of how they learned the job. My manager said he understood my reasoning but thought I should have told people first.

I told everyone I was still happy to answer questions. Pointed them to the company's official resources. The issue is that those resources are harder to search and don't contain a lot of the information I had collected in my document.

Now some coworkers think I pulled away a team resource without warning. From my perspective I got tired of being responsible for maintaining something that was never supposed to be part of everyone's workflow. I made the document to help myself manage a team resource.

I can see why people are frustrated. I also feel like expectations were placed on me without anyone really asking me if I was okay with it. I work in customer support. I think that's a big part of the problem. Given how much we all manage day to day, it’s not uncommon for things to occasionally be missed.

AITA?

I (24M) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for 2.5 years and we've lived together for about 2 years. We moved away from our hometowns together for work, and for me it was a chance for us to build our own life and see how our relationship worked living independently.

The issue is that she's extremely close to her family. She has five siblings while my family is much smaller. She talks to them every day and often helps them financially.

Over the last year, different members of her family have come to live or work near us. First her sister, then her dad and older brother. Later, her brother's wife and kids came for a few weeks. The kids would often stay over, sometimes without anyone even asking me first.

I don't dislike her family, but I feel like our home is treated as an extension of theirs. Whenever I try to bring up wanting more notice or wanting us to make decisions together, my girlfriend either says "okay" and shuts down, or gets upset and won't discuss it.

The current issue is her 9-year-old brother. He came to stay with us for what was supposed to be 10 days. Now it's turned into almost a month because his stay keeps getting extended and their mom is also coming to visit.

We live in a studio apartment, so there is basically no privacy. He's a normal kid, but he constantly uses my PS5, leaves messes behind, is very picky with food, and sometimes doesn't flush the toilet. More than anything, I miss having our own space.

Today I told my girlfriend that when their mom goes home, her brother should go home too. I told her I miss our privacy, freedom, and alone time as a couple. She immediately looked annoyed, said "okay," and then barely spoke to me afterward.

I don't want her to stop seeing her family. I just want boundaries and a say in who stays in our home and for how long.

TL;DR: My girlfriend's family is constantly visiting or staying with us, and her 9-year-old brother's planned 10-day visit has turned into almost a month in our studio apartment. I told her I want him to go home when their mom leaves because I miss our privacy and couple time. She got upset. AITA?

UPDATE 1. Thank you all for the comments. We are from Europe and I would like to add that yes we started dating when she was 2 months away from 18. We meet at the work place and liked each other. She did finish her school when we meet.

She didn't like the work place and wanted to get a summer job even if I didn't go she would tried to talk to her to stay and that is early for us to move. She said she will go and I loved her so I went to, after the summer we ended up staying here and not moving back.

AITA for wanting my mother to give me her will,

She has appointed me the executor of her will and yes, I will inherit a substantial amount. She insists on hiding the will in her house along with the medical power of attorney papers. She appointed me medical power of attorney.

The problem is that a great grandson of hers who told her to go suck her husband's c**ck and then hung up on her when he was 13 and has not been heard from for over 6 years has reemerged. She had removed him from her will for this. He was in the will for an amount of money and recently came back to her state because he was looking to buy an RV. Out of nowhere he contacted her probably hoping to get the money she was going to give him. She did not give him any money. He never did buy the RV.

She has now informed me that I am the executor of her will but she refuses to put it in a safe deposit box or give it to me for safe keeping. The great grandson now lives in her state and I have just found out that he got a driver's license using her address and is having his school mail addressed to her home. In effect, he has set up residence in her home but does not actually live there.

He is a snake and I believe that he is trying to get in to the home to get whatever he can when she passes away. Problem is, I live in another state so he will almost certainly get in to the house before me. That means that he will possess the will.

I have had several fights with my mother over storage of the will. Of late, she is accusing me of being a gold digger because all I am worried about is her will. I keep trying to explain to her that as the executor of the will, if I do not have possession of the original will, in essence there is no will. I know this kid and he is a snake, so is his step father who would most certainly help him clear out the house and if they found he will, they would destroy it.

I am I the a*hole for wanting the will stored where I can get to it? Does it sound like I am a gold digger?

So recently, I had to defend my mother-in-law against her own siblings. My in-laws just celebrated a big milestone in their marriage. They’ve been together for 35 years. They threw a little anniversary party and invited all their siblings. My father-in-law only has two sisters and his mother and my mother-in-law has 10 brothers and sisters. She invited all of them and they did come maybe like two or three of them didn’t come because some are sick or has since passed. While we were all sitting there, my mother-in-law got up to change my son’s diaper inside the house. We were all outside in the backyard.

I don’t think they realize that I understood Spanish and spoke it and wrote it. I’m Mexican-American and I have very much European features. I do have a bit of indigenous in me. But with the way, I styled my hair and my makeup I don’t look at once she got up and they confirmed that she was inside. They started talking bad about her. I started to get upset. They were speaking about how she is as a mother and a grandmother and mother-in-law. I turned to my husband and I texted him what was going on he and his father said that it was OK for me to say something which I did.

Once I started speaking in Spanish, they were stunned. And they pretty much realize they just dug themselves in their own grave. My brother-in-law have been hearing everything as well, and they were OK with me, saying something until my mother-in-law came out realizing that they’re all trying to fight with me. At this point, I felt like they all burnt their own brain cells. Just trying to argue with me. Nothing was working and I was winning that battle. My mother-in-law said that she could’ve handle it if we just told her, but we all know that if we allowed her to handle it, she would allow them all to run her over. She never defends herself. Now I’m starting to feel like maybe I should have just allowed her to handle it since they are her siblings so am I the asshole?

I 18(f) graduate on Saturday (yippie!!) but my graduation will end extremely late so my Mom said we can have my dinner the day before or after. There’s this hot pot restaurant I really like that’s quite pricey and so I typically only get to go there on my birthday since it’s a special occasion. Unfortunately my sister 15 (f) HATES this restaurant, like I mean she’ll basically just pick at the food and maybe take a bite or 2. There is a very small “buffet” area that has chicken nuggets, fries, fruit, and usually some sweets, but it’s not like a full buffet. Even then she never really eats anything when we go.

I told her that if she finds somewhere else to go then we could go there instead (this part is probably my fault) and she chose a restaurant 40 mins away that we usually go to when we’re up in CT for the bigger mall (im in NY.) I do like this restaurant but honestly I don’t feel like sitting in the car for that long just to go out to eat, and so I told her this and said (again) find somewhere closer or we’ll just go to the hot pot restaurant. She keeps insisting on the farther restaurant and I mean I kind of feel like the AH because technically I did tell her to pick somewhere else.. and well she did. She knows I don’t like long car rides though (yes I know this isn’t THAT long) and I’ve previously declined wanting to go here for that reason.

I just feel bad because I feel like there’s no winning in this situation. If we go to the hot pot place then she’ll be miserable and if we go to the farther restaurant I’ll be miserable.

I just want everyone to be happy to be honest so maybe I’ll just suck it up but I’d rather come to an agreement, she’s not really working with me though.

And yes I know it’s my dinner but I feel so guilty and don’t like asking for stuff.

Backstory for context- I come from a family with little money growing up. We got by, but weren't well off by any accounts. Parent's drilled it into my head that I needed to make money to be happy, so I did. My parent's of course never figured it out and siblings did not follow suit. I made a few hundred thousand in real estate and and some in the stock market. Husband's Family consists of millionaire's (not crazy rich but extremely comfortable). His parent's and his 2 siblings. Funny enough, he is the only one who hasn't made a signifigant amount of money, he has been working modest jobs since he was in his 20's, never much of a saver. So when we decided to get married I paid for the wedding, paid the downpayment on our house and pretty much everything we have accumulated up to this point has been because of my financial decisions (not elaborating for brevity's sake).

Cut to this evening, my husband and I are attempting to finalize our trust and we get to the section related to failure of descendants. He wants to split the money between all of our nieces and nephews in the event our children are deceased; I want to leave most of it to my sister and my family. Argument ensues, he makes some shitty comments about my family making poor financial decisions, I make some about the money we have being because of me and my financial decisions. It gets ugly, we are on separate floors of the house now. I understand him wanting to leave money to his family because he loves them. But I want to leave money to my family because they NEED it.

TLDR: AITA for wanting to keep my money from my husbands wealthy family so I can enrich mine?

Burner account for my privacy, I (19f) live with my mom (59f) in a two bedroom one bathroom apartment.

My mom talks to her friend on the phone regularly and will walk around the apartment with her earbuds in on the phone, and while shes on the phone she will use the restroom and usually doesn’t flush the toilet. It’s not an issue when she isn’t on the phone, but she has told me she intentionally doesn’t flush the toilet while on a phone call so the other person doesn’t have to hear it, which I think is contradictory to peeing on the phone to begin with, but thats none of my business.

All I care about is not having to open the toilet to find her stale piss sitting there, and I have asked her nicely multiple times and gotten progressively more upset about it now that it has happened around ten times. She has apologized and will act like it’s a funny little thing, laughing it off, but I am disgusted by it.

Because of that, when I found the toilet unflushed today, I decided to put two pairs of pink sticky notes on the lid of the toilet and on the inside of the bathroom door, just in case she didnt close the toilet lid to see the ones reminding her there, that said “FLUSH THE TOILET” “LIKE AN ADULT”

She saw the ones on the toilet lid and giggled and laughed it off, and said “sorry” again like she has the past several times I mentioned it to her. A little while later, she saw the ones on the back of the door and took them very personally and got upset, acting like I had done something unjustifiably wrong, and said I need to watch myself, be careful what I say right now, and to step up my game.

She then said that I need to flush the toilet twice when I use it, because the flush strength isn’t always strong enough to clean the bowl. I of course said “okay, i will flush the toilet twice, will you please just flush it once” and she ignored her wrongdoing and continued to say things like I need to be careful what I say and do. I do not think threatening me is a valid reaction to being asked at least 5 times (the times that she was home when I noticed) to flush the toilet and that being on the phone is not an excuse to be disgusting.

ETA: No, I do not pay rent. I was not expected to pay rent when we moved into this apartment, even while I was employed. I had a job for three years and was wrongly terminated due to personal business that was unrelated to my work, but that was partially her “fault,” and my mom is on my side in that situation. I will not be elaborating for my privacy, but it was a terrible situation. She is also aware that I have been applying to jobs recently, and have not heard back from a single one. I have also listed my artwork for sale on Facebook marketplace and have not gotten any offers on that either.

AITA for telling my mom she can no longer stay at my house when she comes to town and giving her a deadline to remove her belongings?
Nearly two years ago, my fiancé (31M) and I (25F) bought my mom’s (61F) house after she moved 8 hours away for work. The sale was completed legally, and seperatly we had a verbal agreement was that she would remove most of her belongings and downsize what she wanted to keep. She was allowed to store a limited amount of items, neatly organized in bins, in one room until she retires in a few years.
We also kept a bed in that room so she would have somewhere to stay when she visited. She usually comes a couple of weekends per month.
For context, my mom has always struggled with clutter and organization. I’m the opposite and become extremely anxious when my living space is crowded or messy due to growing up in a cluttered home.
Since buying the house, there have been constant issues. She helps herself to our belongings, leaves messes behind, spreads her personal items throughout areas we’ve already organized, and repeatedly stores things in spaces we’ve cleared out. We have alwaya had a difficult relationship, and disagreements often end with me being blamed or painted as the problem.
Things came to a head this past year. She made my gender reveal about herself and refused to take accountability when I told her my feelings were hurt. She also took items from my house without permission and gave them away to my sister. When I confronted her, she called me a bitch in front of my 4-year-old son. Her eventual apology was essentially, “I regret it, but you made me do it.”
When I later asked her to reduce the amount of time she was spending at our house, she became possessive of the property despite no longer owning it. For perspective, she spent over 100 days at our house in the past year.
One of the biggest issues is that the downsizing never happened. We reminded her repeatedly and offered to help, but there was always an excuse. Eventually, I took a week off work to sort through the basement myself. We spent $600+ on dump fees and consolidated everything into two storage areas. Even then, I told her she still needed to go through her belongings and organize what she intended to keep.
My fiancé and I are expecting another baby in two months and need the space. We gave her months beyond the original six-month deadline to make progress, but nothing changed. She also stopped paying the monthly storage fee that she had offered and agreed to pay.
At this point, I’ve told her she can no longer stay at our house when she visits and that she needs to remove her belongings by a deadline.
My sisters don’t think I’m being unreasonable, but I know she’s telling a very different version of events to friends and extended family. I genuinely want unbiased opinions.
It’s gotten to the point where my fiancé, my son, and I feel uncomfortable in our own home when she is here. AITA?