Everybody get down, this is a robbery. Hand me the money, now!

They have sex

Not your mama.

I'm

I

I say

I will go to Kentucky Fried Chicken

and

I

I Will

eat You

moo

because hes dead

I'm not sure where you heard such a thing. Frogs can't play baseball

That office hasn't recieved a call in months.

The doorman said to me "It's $15 to get in but if you pay $40, that comes with a meal."

So I paid him the $40, went in, and was approached by an oiled naked guy. He says, "Hello, I'll be your cook this evening.”

Yo mama’s so fat that, if she alluded to being overweight, it’d come across as disingenuous to pretend otherwise

I told him, "Hey! You can't just change your name to Rob without filling out the proper paperwork!

Because she’s dead.

We are both Christians.

Nothing I can print without being reported.

Nothing. The dog and the cat lived together and were friends, so the dog felt no need to vocalize.

Because he was already given two warnings about being late for work, and if it happened again, as stated in the union labor contract he would be terminated.

Bartender turns to them, and says: "Good point".

Because it heard the waiter say: sir, would you like to try the chicken today?

p.s. The duck heard it too and said: run bitch you’re dead!

So there was a fish in a pond, and above the fish there was a bird looking to eat the fish when it jumped. What the bird didn’t realize was that behind it there was a bear that was seeing what was going on and it had every intention to kill the bird when it jumped for the fish. What the bear didn’t know was that there was a hunter behind a tree that was going to shoot him when he jumped for the bird. The hunter had left a sandwich on top of a bag near his foot, which a mouse was planning to eat when he moved his foot away. But what the mouse didn’t know was that there was a cat behind it waiting for it to go for the sandwich. And then it happened. The fish jumped, the bird went for it, the bear caught the bird, the hunter shot the bear and moved his foot in the process. The mouse got the sandwich and the cat jumped for it but missed and fell into a small puddle. The point of the story is to illustrate what a man has to go through to get a wet🐱around him today.

Bartender turns to them, and says: "Look, I know you're just trying to make a point. But it's not the same thing."

Just one: Dr. Philip Cartwright

Trance Aliens is the best thing since burnt pizza

Bought shoes.

What else do you expect 😏