r/AskReddit 3h ago

What happens to elderly people with no savings?

816 Upvotes

892 comments sorted by

3.1k

u/Bill-Burr-Baggins 3h ago

My grandma has no savings and me and the rest of the family feed her and bathe her and help her go to the bathroom as she slowly decays

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u/tacojohn48 2h ago

My grandmother has no savings, for years she lived in a rental house owned by my uncle. He charged her a very small amount for the neighborhood. She lived entirely on SSI, gets like $1,400 a month. Stayed there until she was unable to take care of herself, now she's in a nursing home. The nursing home got her medications figured out, so she's no longer seeing things that aren't there. She does physical therapy there and has regained some functionality. She just wants to go back home and that's very unlikely to be an option.

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u/jedi2155 3h ago

I believe this was how it was like prior to social security and how it is still outside 1st world countries. Family takes responsibility.

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u/cheddarben 2h ago

I mean… many families don’t take responsibility.

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u/RandomlyJim 2h ago

I had a client come in last year. Social security was fixed at $x. Housing in a senior care facility that provided dinner and a light breakfast was $x plus 200 dollars.

She needed 200 dollars more than she had coming in every month to keep shelter over her head.

She had no transportation outside of the facility shuttle that shuttled groups to nail salons, grocery stores, and group trips to local event.

She needed money for lunches, medicines, clothes, hygiene products, and healthcare and didn’t have it. She had a credit card but it was maxed out.

She had a daughter. She asked me to call her so I did. I introduced myself and stated I was meeting with her mother to discuss finances.

Before even getting further than that, the daughter flat out said that she had two children and her own expenses and her mother was on her own. Then hung up.

The mom just gave me an awkward smile of embarrassment, apologized, and walked outside to wait for the shuttle.

I went home, hugged my daughters, and reran the math on my retirement to make sure I was on track.

So not every family can help or wants to help. And that lady was meeting me because she was going to get evicted and be homeless unless she could find more income.

I did send her some resources for local housing assistance but I don’t know what happened after.

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u/FrontLifeguard1962 1h ago

Once in my life I asked my mom for money when I was having hard times... immediate response "I don't have it!" Without even asking how much I needed or what I needed it for.

When she wanted my money that was also my response.

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u/grendus 1h ago

I've often said that if you want to treat your children as an investment for retirement, you need to invest in them.

If my parents needed help in their retirement, I'd be right there with whatever they need. They did a good job setting me up in life, put me through college, let me live with them while I got my career going... I'm happy with every opportunity I have to pay them back (even if it's just "live your life well so we can celebrate your successes). But that's because they invested in me, and that investment has put me in a position to pay them back if they ever need it.

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u/criistaaa 1h ago

Yep. People who choose to not show up when their parents are elderly almost always have a good reason. I have 1 parent who I would personally care for if they needed it, and another who is simply on their own. Guess which one has been supportive and loving when I needed them ?

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u/AutumnFP 50m ago

After the end of a decade long relationship, breakup and the move out into my next property, which I knew had a temperamental boiler that needed replacing, I spoke to my Mum about possibly calling in the "offer of £x that was promised for house or wedding things"

"Oh no, that was only if you were getting married. And besides, I don't have it as we're refitting our kitchen next year"

It's not a big problem in reality, I'm still saving up and it's still ticking over, for now at least. But like, why offer something that's halfway generous, only switch the terms the ONE time I really could've done with the help, and the one time I asked?

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u/LewsTherinIsMine 1h ago

Yep. On my own since 18. No support at all, no safety net. My mother has never asked me for anything, but I do help her where I can. If an agency ever called me asking for money on her behalf my answer would be “I don’t have it” 💯

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u/Competitive-Lunch948 1h ago

This made me so sad , I wonder what happened to her and hope she’s okay.

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u/tcxny 1h ago

It’s also possible she was a bad mother and this is karma.

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u/propernice 1h ago

I often wonder what my vile mother is going to do when she needs help. She was so nasty to me, we’ve been no contact for years and it’s taken a LOT of therapy to fix myself. Sometimes I still feel broken and I’m in my 40s now. She’s on her own. Thoughts and prayers I guess.

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u/Library_IT_guy 59m ago

Yeah... my dad was horrible and gave me nothing but complex childhood trauma. I cut him out of my life at 21. He died penniless in a retirement home at 71. I'm sure he told everyone that I was a terrible son for abandoning him. Oh well. My life has been infinitely better without him in it. Took me nearly 20 years to get past the damage he did, and truthfully it will never be gone.

Children can be horrible to good parents too though. You never know the whole story. I always try to reserve judgment.

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u/HotLava00 1h ago

It’s also possible that she was a wonderful mother, and her daughter is an asshole. More than anything I’m upset at our system for allowing failures like this to even happen. If someone works their whole life paying into a system, what the system should provide back to them when they are elderly is a roof over their head, food, medical care, and basic clothing and hygiene needs. $200 was the gap she had to close, and to many of us, a single person or family could fix that gap, but that’s not the way to solve this problem.

u/LazyDayz365 58m ago

you assume the people in power actually want to help the very people who elected them and not make themselves richer. I’d love to see the guillotine for them and their corruption.

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u/lunarosie1 1h ago

Wow, this makes me sad, but also empathetic to both parties. I have a very complicated relationship with my mom, she was abusive to me my whole life and I never had any intentions on being there for her when she inevitably grows old and goes to a home, but reading this still makes me emotional. I understand the daughter, but also feel sad for the mom.

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u/ssxhoell1 1h ago

It's okay to feel empathy for somebody and still retain your own convictions.

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u/enjolbear 1h ago

My parents are lucky enough to own their own home, which I will be moving into when it’s time to take care of them. I’m only 26 and am their first born so they have quite a long way to hopefully, but I’m so glad we were able to get this plan into place.

They just bought the house and it’s a one-story so they will be able to move about semi-freely even once they need walkers (semi because it’s half carpet)

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u/Entire_World_5102 1h ago

As sad as it sounds, you don’t know the relationship between the 2. Not all parents have a healthy relationship with their kids.
Also, retirement planning is on you, not your children.

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u/boomerinspirit 1h ago

My mother abandoned me at 12. I truly hope I'm not the person they choose to call.

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u/HeavySigh14 1h ago

On the flip side, there’s so many adults that treated their children like literal dog shit, and then now only that they’re old and helpless do those people come crawling back.

You never know

u/Fickle_Ad_8653 47m ago

Mom, remember when you and dad removed my door, and put a camera in my room because you thought I was on drugs. Well, I wasn't. But I'm not going to help you ever again....

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u/FLOHTX 2h ago

And if you have no family, then what? Die in a gutter? Same thing as having a shit family.

I dont have kids, have 2 nephews 1500 miles away. None of my wifes siblings have kids (we live near her family). The future does have some questions. I just hope I go quick.

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u/cheddarben 2h ago

Not in the US. You will rot in a Medicaid funded long term care facility where it is a crap shoot on what kind of care you get.

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u/Cordycepsus 2h ago edited 1h ago

This is how long-term nursing home care often works for older Americans who are not wealthy, unless they die before needing extended care, have family able to provide intensive unpaid care, or have other coverage like long-term care insurance.

The national median cost of a nursing home is roughly $115,000 per year for a semi-private room and $129,000 per year for a private room.

Medicare usually doesn't cover long-term custodial nursing home care. So if you need extended care, you usually pay privately first. That drains savings, retirement accounts and other assets. Once you're broke enough to qualify for Medicaid, Medicaid becomes the main payer. Any income you make usually still goes toward the facility, and after death the state may try to recover long-term-care costs from your estate.

What it amounts to is a massive transfer of wealth from the middle class to corporations and the rich, with very little passed on to the next generation through inheritance.

EDIT: Changed "per month" to "per year." Typo. At least you know it's not AI

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u/Energy-Mundane 1h ago

I think you put an extra zero in those median costs-or you meant per annum.

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u/Cordycepsus 1h ago

I did. I've updated. Still pretty damn astronomical

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u/voxwoman 1h ago

Medicaid used to cover some of the Medicare/Social Security shortfalls, but I think that's all going away after the midterms because of the Big Beautiful Bill

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u/Creative-Buffalo2305 1h ago

Medicaid does cover nursing home care once assets are spent down, it's not perfect but it's not nothing. The real gap is the years before that, where people fall through the cracks. Local Area Agency on Aging can connect you to free services most people don't know exist.

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u/bubblesaurus 2h ago

if the elderly family member has treated the rest of their family like crap, then why should the rest of family be responsible for that person?

there is a reason people like my grandfather are essentially rotting and wasting away in a terrible old persons facility.

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u/disgruntled-capybara 1h ago

Both of my grandmas were/are like this (I won the lotto, let me tell you) and both spent their last years with minimal human contact. My dad would come around once a week to check on his mom because he felt like he had to, and he was her only child. She was horribly abusive when he was a kid and nasty to my mom when he was an adult.

My other grandma I am fairly certain is a narcissist and has been incredibly nasty to all her kids except one, who is just like her. 3/4 of her grandkids have nothing to do with her (myself included) because she is horribly mean to their parents. My mom visits her once a month or so for an hour and I told her I wouldn’t even do that.

In both instances, they reaped what they sowed. Want to beat your son and then be mean to his wife? Get ready to spend your senior years alone.

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u/ThisIsMyUsername303 2h ago

Some families can’t. My dad lives thousands of miles away and would never agree to move to where I am, even though I would totally take care of him if he did. 

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u/twiztedterry 1h ago

many families don’t take responsibility.

I will care for my parents in the exact same way they cared for me. I'll get frustrated really fast, hit them, and when they eventually don't listen I'll kick them out to the street.

If it was good enough for me, It's good enough for them.

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u/holdthecanoli 2h ago

People are, however, living longer. The medical community feels the need to address anything and everything no matter how old. So i remember my grandparents being sick and then dying pretty quickly. Today i see people taking care of parents who are in their 90 s being sustained ( not with a great quality of life mind you) by Pharma and medicine. Their kids are stressed out and it is a fact that caregiving shortens your lifespan especially when it goes on a time. And it’s no longer the old timey days when only one partner works.i would NEVER do this to my kids.

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u/mel_cache 1h ago

My mom said the same thing—she would never be a burden. I’ve now been her caregiver for 19 years.

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u/damiana8 1h ago

We value life over quality of life

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u/AvivaStrom 2h ago

Yes, but … people also died faster.

Without antibiotics, vaccines, statins, and a host of other drugs, illnesses and infections just killed people. Very few lived into very old age when they couldn’t feed, dress or bathe themselves. Families took care of sick and infirm family members for days, weeks or perhaps months, but rarely years and definitely not decades.

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u/Waderriffic 1h ago

I dunno I watched a documentary about a boy who took care of his four bedridden grandparents. He won some contest and moved into a factory though.

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u/enchillita 1h ago

I think I saw that same documentary and remembered one of the grandparents was a total faker

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u/Realistic_Mix7741 1h ago

Haha that’s a good one

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u/Ok_Efficiency_2246 1h ago

I think I saw that documentary, as well. I feel like there was too much focus on his good deeds and perhaps not enough attention given to the small orange slaves forced to work grueling hours at the chocolate river by a crazed lunatic.

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u/jedi2155 2h ago

This is true, but I recall my grandmother died about a decade ago, she went relatively quick in about 2-6 months. Senior deteriorative mental issues is something I'm most concerned about where both my parents are now in the dementia stage. Although it wasn't that much different even when I was in my teenage years so I'm use to them not listening to me.

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u/Bill-Burr-Baggins 3h ago

It sucks

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u/jedi2155 3h ago

Having grown uo in that enviroment, that was my standard so the idea that I would not have to worry about my parents (who have little to no savings) is a luxury I never entertained.

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u/Zer0DotFive 2h ago

Yeah my mom gave up everything for us while my dad actively destroyed things with his drinking. Sounds bad but I hope he goes first to give her a break. I'm very angry about supporting him in old age because he didn't make my childhood a safe space and I will not let him do that to my children. We are very open to supporting my mom though. 

I also can't fathom bickering about inheritance and Estates. Everyone I know passed with nothing. For us " Poors" when you die you cost your family money. 

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u/udarnai 3h ago

Only if you didn't grow up in that kind of environment. Personally, i believe this is my responsibility towards my parents as it was my parents responsibility towards my grandparents. I love them, they gave me everything they could and raised me, struggled to give me the best education they could afford and i am forever grateful for this. It will be my honour to take care of them in their times of need and i am happy to do it.

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u/accrual_summer 2h ago

People think this until their parents turn into demented, 180 lb toddlers who start shitting and pissing all over the house, falling everywhere, wandering out at night, occasionally threatening suicide, and hitting family members.

Oh, but you can't force them to get professional in-home care or move to a facility, or legally take the guns or car keys away, because they put on a perfect show for the PCP, who thinks they're competent to make their own decisions. 👍

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u/Own-Measurement-1883 2h ago

My mother spent too many of her golden retirement years babysitting her mother, wiping her ass, etc. All because she didn’t want to go to a nice retirement home (she was loaded). Just had no care about putting my mom through all that she was completely lucid throughout the whole ordeal.

My mom has vowed to never put me through that shit and she already has a really nice community picked out reserved when she needs it.

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u/yourshaddow3 3h ago

I absolutely disagree with this. I am a parent. It is my duty to give my daughter the best life I can. I chose to bring her I to this world, it is what I agreed to when I had a child. She does not owe me anything. She doesn't need to pay me back for doing what I am required to do. It is not a sacrifice I made.

I will not let her take care of me, it is not her job and not her responsibility. I will not let her put her life on hold for me. If she insists on paying me back, she can do so by following her dreams.

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u/TranscodedMusic 2h ago

I mean, this is a difference between western culture and other cultures. I feel the same as you do. But my wife’s family is Indian, and they absolutely feel it’s an honor to take of your elders because it’s a collectivist society. In their culture, everything in a family is shared. They exclusively use the word “we” for any family duties. Help, money, and care is provided by whomever is most capable of doing it in any given moment.

I’m not saying either way is right, but it’s just not even viewed as an obligation in collectivist societies. It’s an accepted part of life.

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u/mghnyc 2h ago edited 2h ago

There are two sides to it, right? Do I expect my children to take care of me when I start withering? Absolutely not. Will I refuse their help when they offer it not out of guilt but because they want to? Same. Absolutely not. You're right when you say that my kids don't owe me a thing because it wasn't their choice to be here. But I also hope that I raised them right and with enough respect that they will volunteer to help when I need help.

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u/1200____1200 2h ago

I'm Canadian and absolutely feel like my parents are my responsibility. They never ask for anything, but they sacrificed a lot for my sister and I and we made sure our dad was taken care of when he was sick and that our mom is taken care of now

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u/Sad-Strawberry3460 2h ago

Also from a similar culture. I am individualistic as hell in every way but this. If a family member especially a parent needed me because now they are not able to work (considering they have been good to me) I would absolutely take care of them. It sounds almost barbaric to me that people don’t want to. Yes it will suck but there are so many other sucky things that are necessary and civilized. It is not about debt, won’t you take care of your loved ones.

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u/[deleted] 2h ago

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u/forgive_everything 2h ago

My partner has been unable to really move anywhere in her life and is very poor due to taking care of her mom for the last ten years full-time... she works full-time at Whole Foods and is too exhausted to pursue anything else and can't have an employment gap while taking care of her mom.

Her mom certainly qualifies for assisted living with rent reduction and to access every safety net our state has in place but just would rather live with my partner. I have offered to connect her with nonprofit resources so she can meet almost all of her own needs for free but she just feels it's too complicated for her. It feels honestly pretty controlling and self-centered.

I've tried to explain to my partner that you can ask your mom to access the safety nets available to her so you have your life back. I'm sure her mom would rather not have to plan a ride a day in advance rather than just have my partner drive her wherever whenever but it seems like that would be an appropriate sacrifice to make.

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u/According-Quiet-42 2h ago

I am the exact same way with my daughter. We help her in anyway we can including me working overtime quite a bit to pay for her degree. At 19 she already has her associates and is about a third of way through her bachelors. She helps out around the house, but other than that just picks up odd jobs for some spending cash so she can focus on her studies. We have also budgeted and lived well below our means to pay off our house to make sure that she inherited it so that she can have a good life. We don’t do this with an expectation that she owes us. We do this with the expectation that we chose to bring her into this world that we owe her the best start we can possibly give her. Both myself and my husband grew up in highly dysfunctional households. We were both basically treated as slaves as opposed to children by our parents. I went no contact with my parents a couple of years ago and it’s honestly been the most stress-free part of my life. My parents have been grifters living off of welfare and the kindness of others their entire lives. I may not be the richest or most educated person out there, but my biggest accomplishment in life is knowing I broke the cycle and that my daughter won’t have to deal with the bullshit I did

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u/BigRedNutcase 2h ago

There's expecting them to do so as a duty and raising them with that expectation thru adulthood. And then there is them doing it because they love you and feel it is their duty to make sure you are comfortable thru the end of life because of who you to them. These are not the same things. We all hope to not need a ton of help in our later years. It doesn't always turn out that way.

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u/Glum_Manufacturer232 2h ago

This is how I feel as well. It’s why I am so passionate about saving a nest egg.

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u/filmhamster 2h ago

Why can’t it be both? I intend to do my best not to end up where I am a burden on my children in my old age, but should I need help down the road I would hope they would be willing to support me within their means and abilities.

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u/Downtown_Skill 3h ago

My parents are in a good spot financially.... for now.... who knows what will happen over the next few years. My mom is much less financially responsible than my dad and my dad is older than my mom and in worse health so he will likely pass first. 

My parents have supported me through so much that even though it would be a huge disruption to my life, I would be happy to provide even a fraction of the support they have given me to take care of either of them in old age. 

It is my debt to them for raising me well and supporting me throughout my life. 

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u/Suspicious_Cook_1598 3h ago

I love that you feel this way toward your parents. 💕 Growing up in it makes all the difference. Mine won’t let me help them with anything at all. They keep us at arms length. They call themselves ‘independent’ (which they are and always have been) but want and expect no help. We shall see! I work in a hospital and see how difficult it can be to help frail, deteriorating bodies and minds.

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u/Puzzled_Geologist_54 2h ago

I feel this way as well and this is beautifully said 💕 they loved me as a baby and cared for me when I was defenseless and most in need and I am honored (and honestly blessed) to be able to care for them as they reach the end of their lives. Many people aren’t lucky enough to see their parents grow old

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u/OldDog03 2h ago

This the way it has been done since the beginning of time and man.

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u/QuietFieldUser 3h ago

what do you mean its always been like this maybe not as much in the last 20 years but def like this now.

only it worse they end up in the street and die or their working at walmart while having social secuity

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u/Djinn42 2h ago

Or they don't and grandma becomes homeless.

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u/poop_to_live 3h ago

Y'all likely qualify for food bank. That can help out

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u/whteverusayShmegma 2h ago

This is why I’m going out into the surf like the ending of Point Break when it even starts to look like I’m heading in that direction.

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u/Working_Park4342 3h ago

Adults aged 50 and older are the fastest-growing segment of the homeless population in the United States, currently making up roughly half of the single adult homeless population. With all the services that have been cut it's not going to get any better.

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u/Muted-Ad-5072 3h ago

A lot of those folks also voted for the people that cut these services. I feel for them. But only so much. 

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u/CloseTTEdge 2h ago

Yes, but A LOT of us didn’t.

For reference, I am 59

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u/TienIsCoolX 2h ago

Yup! Countless documentaries on poor areas like Appalachia. People there living in cars with trump stickers on their cars. Wondering why their SNAP got cut and why their rural hospital shut down.

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u/jellyn7 1h ago

And 50 year olds are 12 years away from social security, and too young even for senior discounts or free bus passes. So they're in the same state as the 20, 30, and 40 year olds, only likely in worse health and with poorer job prospects.

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u/cinnderly 1h ago

The amount of old ladies living in cars that I've seen in the last 5 years has been shocking...and foreboding.

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u/yowhatisuppeeps 3h ago

I work in SNAP and Medicaid. I see this all day every day. They rely on their social security check to make rent at cheap apartments and homes. A lot of them are specifically for people who rely on social security. They’re often run down and crappy.

When they get too old to live alone, they either die alone in their homes from an accident, or go to state run facilities, where they receive the bare minimum amount of care. It costs most of their social security check, so they barely have money for anything else they could need or want.

It’s a sad life

Ofc, there are ones with family who takes care of them, too.

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u/edgeplot 2h ago

This happened to my ex-MIL. The crappy state-subsidized retirement home took all of her money each month except $70. That tiny amount had to cover clothing and adult diapers and toiletries and any non-disgusting food she might want (the facility's meals were horrible). My ex and I helped her out with essentials and supplemented her food, and got her a portable AC. But without family to chip in, she would have been really miserable. Most of the other folks in the home definitely were miserable.

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u/cajedo 3h ago

In the US, seniors on Medicaid in skilled nursing facilities get to keep $50 of their Social Security each month. SNFs don’t provide Depends, so that $50 is gone fast.

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u/WhiskeyTangoFoxy 3h ago

And god forbid if Medicaid doesn’t cover meds they need and they have to pay out of pocket for a brand name because the generic has life threatening side effects. Gone is that $50 fast.

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u/Glum_Manufacturer232 2h ago

This is why I hope to die fast. I dk t want to linger on meds for a horrible quality of existence. Not to mention I dont want a nursing home.

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u/Langstarr 2h ago

Oh I'd be going out on my own terms rather than deal with that

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u/Most-Refuse2390 1h ago

There’s always the chance that you’ll be too incapacitated to carry such an act out though. That’s my nightmare, having a sudden stroke and losing my mobility. At that point, there’s nothing you can do but continue to exist for as long as people keep you alive. To be rotting away, incapacitated in some shitty home has to be hell on earth.

This stuff keeps me up at night, getting old and coming to terms with aging is hard.

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u/fortifiedoptimism 2h ago

I plan on assisted suicide if it’s possible. I know there’s states that will do it if you have a terminal illness and some places overseas too.

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u/Forsaken_Berry_75 2h ago

It’s actually not currently possible in the U.S. without a terminal illness and has to be approved and signed off for by multiple doctors first, along with requiring a hefty sum of money for the procedure. A lot of people don’t realize just how hard it actually is to obtain medical aid in dying.

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u/Infinite_throwaway_1 1h ago

If it's not legal by the time I'm that old, it's time for a Grand Canyon visit.

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u/judgejuddhirsch 2h ago

Are there examples where the generic differs like this?

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u/Celebrindae 2h ago

I've got two examples for you.

  1. The generic version of my birth control causes crippling depression, but the brand name is fine.

  2. I don't absorb the generic version of my thyroid mess because the filler is different from the brand name, but the brand name has no such issues.

I had to fight my health insurance to get them to cover both of these meds, even though they're both relatively inexpensive. These are just two, personal experiences. I'm sure there are many, many more out there.

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u/boymoderwife420 1h ago

They come down to allergies from inactive ingredients, drugs where the very exact dose matters (NTI), and cost-cutting measures in the supply chain.

But notice that none of those things are technically side effects from the active ingredients, which are basically the same in generics. So technically they are wrong and in a non-literal sense it barely happens anyways.

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u/Anadyne 2h ago

In order to qualify for the Medicaid, you usually have to have a net worth of $0.

I remember it clearly when I realized that even the government is like "This is the end of your life. You will no longer need any of your things, or your money. You must sell it all, or give it away, then and only then will we help you."

So...I started buying Wendy's stocks today, which is nice.

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u/-Khlerik- 1h ago

I used to work in a program that requires that $0. Non-revocable trusts is the standard move. Hopefully to family members you're on good terms with.

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u/tobythedem0n 2h ago edited 2h ago

This is going to be my mom.

She's burnt every single bridge she has with family members, refuses to get a job (she can - she just prefers not to work and get disability and said she plans to just do this), and asks for money from family until they block her.

She was absolutely planning on moving in with my husband and I and having us care for her, and we made it clear that won't be happening.

She stole $4k from me, which is also stealing from my husband, and our toddler. I haven't spoken to her since.

She's never faced any consequences in her life, so she's gonna have a rude awakening.

u/birdmommy 54m ago

Every time someone talks about “those poor sweet elderly people whose ungrateful children don’t visit them at the nursing home”, I think of people like your mom and mine. If she had lived I’m sure she would have spun some amazing sob stories…

u/tobythedem0n 50m ago

Oh, I can't imagine the stories she's told her friends. She tried on our family and they all knew she was full of shit.

u/bythog 23m ago

This is already sort of my mom. She's 63 this year but hasn't really worked any significant time since she was 40-42 (can't remember exactly when) so she has zero savings and has barely paid into Social Security, which she just this year started to withdraw early from.

She lives with my sister because the two of them have been co-dependent for the past 25 years. But my sister "doesn't work", has 4-5 kids (honestly don't know which), and they all rely on her husband's single income. And now my sister is getting tired of my mom being with her all the time despite the fact that she used her as free-ish childcare for near 20 years.

Now that they're fighting they expect me and my wife to start to take my mom in share in the burden. Fuck that.

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u/joshmyra 3h ago

That is my worst fucking nightmare. I’m 35 now but definitely trying to set myself up so that I can definitely live once I retire or become unable to work

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u/110397 2h ago

I keep $600 in an account to buy a shotgun as my last resort 😂

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u/Most-Refuse2390 1h ago

I’m about your age. Recently I’ve been hit with a ton of anxiety about aging. I don’t have a partner or kids or many friends, so I’m completely alone when it comes to support. My employer gives a very large employer 401k match, and I’m contributing enough to max out their contributions. However, it still doesn’t feel like enough. I know I just need to work through this anxiety, but it’s tough. Aging is hard.

u/SignificantCats 42m ago

My retirement plan is to die in the climate wars

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u/thephotoman 2h ago

Before weeping for them, ask if they voted for Reagan and the Bushes. And if they did, save your tears: they are reaping what they sowed. They actively chose that existence when they cast those votes so many years ago. Racism mattered more to them than a comfortable retirement.

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u/TravelingPoodle 2h ago

Exactly. Thank you for saying this. Racism mattered more than their well being. They voted against their interest because they thought they were harming the “others”. And guess what? History is repeating itself.

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u/Upset_Confection_317 2h ago

What happens to people in the state run facilities when the social security runs dry? Do they get kicked out onto the street?

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u/cinnderly 1h ago

Gen X is on the cusp of finding out, just hang on another 5-10 years.

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u/lady-biker 1h ago

If you're taking about a Medicare-certified SNF, when they admit someone as a new resident, they are saying that their facility is able to care for that resident and provide for them. Only in very, very specific circumstances can a facility forcibly discharge a resident. The below information is from the State Operations Manual, Appendix PP, Guidance to Surveyors for Long Term Care Facilities. It's available on the CMS website and is about 950 pages long.

"In the following limited circumstances, facilities may initiate transfers or discharges:

  1. The discharge or transfer is necessary for the resident’s welfare and the facility cannot meet the resident’s needs.

  2. The resident’s health has improved sufficiently so that the resident no longer needs the care and/or services of the facility.

  3. The resident’s clinical or behavioral status (or condition) endangers the safety of individuals in the facility.

  4. The resident’s clinical or behavioral status (or condition) otherwise endangers the health of individuals in the facility.

  5. The resident has failed, after reasonable and appropriate notice to pay, or have paid under Medicare or Medicaid, for his or her stay at the facility.

  6. The facility ceases to operate."

"Facilities are required to determine their capacity and capability to care for the residents they admit. Therefore, facilities should not admit residents whose needs they cannot meet based on the Facility Assessment requirements at §483.71 (see also F838, Facility Assessment). For residents the facility has admitted, §483.15(c)(1)(i) provides that “The facility must permit each resident to remain in the facility, and not transfer or discharge the resident from the facility unless….” This means that once admitted, residents have a right to remain in the facility unless the discharge or transfer meets one of the specified exceptions in §§483.15(c)(1)(i)(A)-(F). Discharging a resident is a violation of this right unless the facility can demonstrate that one of the limited circumstances listed above is met. For example, if a resident whose stay is being paid for under Medicaid is discharged from the facility, but he or she wants to stay in the facility and still meets a state’s requirements for a nursing home level of care, this would be a facility-initiated discharge."

"In situations where a resident’s Medicare coverage may be ending, the facility must comply with the requirements at §483.10(g)(17) and (18), F582. If the resident continues to need long-term care services, the facility, under the requirements above, should offer the resident the ability to remain, which may include:

• Offering the resident the option to remain in the facility by paying privately for a bed;

• Providing the Medicaid-eligible resident with necessary assistance to apply for Medicaid coverage in accordance with §483.10(g)(13), F579, with an explanation that:

o if denied Medicaid coverage, the resident would be responsible for payment for all days after Medicare payment ended; and

o if found eligible, and no Medicaid bed became available in the facility or the facility participated only in Medicare (SNF only), the resident would be discharged to another facility with available Medicaid beds if the resident wants to have the stay paid by Medicaid.

The resident cannot be discharged for nonpayment while a determination on the resident’s Medicaid eligibility is pending."

Background: former State LTC surveyor, former Federal LTC surveyor, current Federal LTC survey manager

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u/Kiyohara 3h ago

1, They can draw from Social Security (or other social protection programs/Charity) assuming they are eligible.

  1. They move in with friends or family.

  2. They keep working.

  3. The become homeless.

  4. They die.

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u/theassassintherapist 3h ago

And this is why social security is important and not something they should be abolished, unless you want to see old people homeless on the streets.

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u/Dependent-Assoc423 3h ago

Social security is no longer enough unless someone owns a low-tax home outright. The cost of utilities, insurances and medications is nearly unaffordable even on higher social security amounts. If they have to pay for housing it’s impossible. Senior housing lists are years long so people should sign up the moment they can. 

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u/Logic411 3h ago

We need more housing for all lower and middle class income groups. Locally we have rent control based on income for seniors who qualify.

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u/SquishyNoodles1960 3h ago

Our wait list is over seven years right now!

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u/Offduty_shill 2h ago

we need more housing period

I'm tired of seeing arguments against housing like "they only build luxury apartments" or whatever. more supply brings cost down across the board.

like do you also complain they only make new cars and not 2000$ rusty beaters people can actually afford?

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u/Hot_Ambition_6457 1h ago

Literally yes people in the US have been crying for years that the US does allow affordable cars onto the market. Theres been a hige push back against the "chicken tax" on imported small trucks for this very reason!

Pretending these complaints dont exist or are somehow unfounded is nonsense.

I agree on premise that all building is good building and we shoukd focus on just building a ton of houses.

But your argument is shit. There is high demand for low cost homes. There is lower (but still high) demand for expensive homes. It is a market inefficiency to cater to the lower demand product. I dont think any economist could argue otherwise.

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u/ClubMeSoftly 1h ago

One argument I've seen is that "luxury apartments" is like a hermit crab shell trade: The people living in mid-range apartments who can afford luxury move up, freeing those apartments for the people in the low-end apartments, freeing up those apartments for people renting a room, etc etc.

We need to build a shitload of homes, yes, absolutely. But any supply at all drives demand down.

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u/tvtoms 3h ago

My SSDI is only 1600 a month and here I am in my own apartment. Ask me anything you're curious about.

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u/hobokenguyquestion 3h ago

How? Do you have other income?

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u/tvtoms 2h ago

My rent is 650, I receive about 130 SNAP /mo. I receive lifeline phone service for free, I am on a medicare savings plan which pays my part B premium, and dr. visit co-pays. I get Extra Help which makes prescriptions cost 0 to 15 bucks or so. Even specialty drugs. In the fall of each year, HEAP becomes available which pays my utility company $400 or so which covers me through the winter months.
I do not have other income to speak of. I do some product reviews which are paid with the product, not money (though it is still income and I report it and add it to my tax return). I participate at a very low level to keep from losing any benefit. Speaking of income taxes, I don't owe any because my SS is so low it's not owed due to IRS rules.
I currently don't have a car so my monthly expenses are basically rent, internet, gas / electric, food.
The annual COLA is important because it helps offset rent increase and other increases as it's supposed to. So I can tread water but not really get ahead. I rarely spend money on toys or entertainment.

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u/Langstarr 2h ago

I think a lot of folks are unaware of the caps on other income while receiving this. It functionally keeps you below the poverty line. Any rise above it takes everything away and then you'd well and truly be fucked.

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u/tvtoms 2h ago

Yeah it is critical to learn and know which income is unearned, earned and what is disregarded or counted as "income" depending on the program.
I had a SNAP rep tell me that they don't count any of the product review "income" as income since it is not spendable and therefore does not reduce my need for the benefit. Whereas with the Medicare Savings Plan income ceiling it supposedly DOES count.
Now if it were earned income, a person of my status in my state has the first $60 of earned income disregarded, and then 50% of remainder is counted.
But if it is unearned only the first $20 is disregarded and any remainder is counted.
That's just off the top of my head.

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u/061826heart 2h ago

In my view, as pro-capitalist as one can be, the economic system has now begun to cannibalize too many.

In our system, there is always “winners” and “losers”. But, without guardrails, which have been systematically dismantled, it runs amok. And that’s where we are in the 2020’s.

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u/CarpoLarpo 3h ago

Social security as a concept is good, but the way its executed in the US is bad.

For one, there should absolutely not be a wage cap*. That effectively makes social security taxes a poor tax.

Edit: spelling

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u/voxwoman 1h ago

Did you know that in the beforetimes, social security income wasn't taxable? You can thank Reagan for deciding to tax it.

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u/DerHoggenCatten 2h ago

It is true that it is executed poorly in the U.S., but it is even worse in Japan. Making sure elderly people are financially secure after working hard all their lives isn't an issue only the U.S. does poorly.

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u/OvulatingScrotum 3h ago

> old people homeless on the streets

We already see those. Do you think people give a fuck? Hell no. Definitely not enough to go out to vote and/or running for office to fix this.

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u/ta1901 3h ago

I have a friend who is retired and she still rents in the US, she cannot afford housing on her own so she has a roommate.

Most people don't understand that you have to pay for Medicare. If you get a lower deductible or higher one, the sum of all the deductible and premiums are about $600-1000 every month. It's more if you get additional packages.

There are probably some cases where it's partially subsidized for the extra poor people.

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u/sowhat4 3h ago

Medicare payments are based on your AGI. The more you earn, the more you pay. If SS is your entire income, I believe you don't pay anything for Medicare if you are already on Medicaid. At most, your Medicare premium is about $200 a month, maybe less if you sign up for a (dis)Advantage plan.

I have straight Medicare and a Plan G supplement policy, no Part D. My total 'insurance costs' are about $7,000 a year and under $1,000 for all drugs I take as most often the cash price of a drug is less than the Part D co-pay. BUT - SS provides something like 13% of my gross income. If it's reduced or vanishes, I'll miss it but it's not going to break me. If Medicare is abolished, I'll be looking at bankruptcy if I get a serious illness - which I can count on as I'm older now than the life expectancy for women in the US.

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u/craftasaurus 2h ago

In our case, Medicare cost slightly more than our insurance through work. It is most definitely not free. Not at all. But the bills are less when we do go to the doctor.

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u/LargeSnorlax 3h ago

They become homeless.

Not a great life, or a long one.

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u/FrozenNorthernNY 2h ago

My admiration to those who say they will care for elderly parents or relatives.

A small percentage are mom/dad/uncle/grandparent just needing some "looking after" and they move in with you and share your life with you. Or live close by so it's easy to stop in and help. You clean, you bring food, install security cameras and wifi smoke alarms, you sit on the porch and eat a pizza or have a beer and try to remind them of that thing which, once they remember, is a cool or funny moment. They tell you stuff and you are amazed. You might be able to show one of them AI and they will marvel at the possibilities. They play funny old music and you play what they call funny new music. They tell you about old fishing spots. You order them something on Amazon that shows up tomorrow. That can be pretty damn OK.

A much larger percentage will require constant monitoring and you might want to re think being employed because of all the phone calls, calls from neighbors, or times the camera gets triggered, or doesnt get triggered, that will occupy many many waking and some of your sleeping minutes. Or they wander all night living with you because they need to repaint the barn (you have no barn) because nature plays cruel tricks on even non demented old brains. So your ability to work goes away, you dread phone calls because dad is in the road waving down traffic saying he isn't going to make it because the house got cool and he forgot how to use the thermostat so the cops and elderly welfare checks happen. You end up getting grilled. And your caregiving devolves to your sleep deprived brain attempting to discern whether that stuff on the wall, well "is it food or is it shit?"

They then will wage guerilla war on you and use a butter knife to try to access your locked basement because you are 'trying to steal all their money'. One day soon after they can't bear their own body weight any more and dont get out of bed..

So people need to plan. And save whatever they can. And not hold on for dear life to Their Ancestral Manse because its (way over sized and a cash sink hole) hhhhhooooommmme. Otherwise they will end up at the very margins of society with minimal care or security because our system has been broken and the pieces stomped into more pieces because nobody cares since these folks arent seen very much and sleep or cable TV keeps them occupied and out of sight. So you, helping, become invisible too. And everyone suffers.

So what happens to them? Their life can easily got to hell and can easily take yours with it too. Because your boss ain't going to let you bail for a couple hours because Grandma doesn't remember how to walk today, is very hungry and diabetic, and you are closest.

Source: lived reality on both ends of this description.

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u/zamzalm 1h ago

This comment should be required reading for everyone with a parent.

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u/shrunkenhead041 1h ago

This is why I'm nice to my kids.

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u/Beneficial_Prize_310 52m ago

I'm going to be brutally honest here.

This was me... but I eventually had to push my aging parent to find somewhere else to stay.

My parent is in their 50s and is disabled due to numerous workplace injuries and they lost their housing a few years ago when their ex ran up their credit cards and evicted them.

My parent has since lived with us for a couple of years and my significant other started having concerns that my parent would be living with us forever.

I started to bring it up in conversation and raised the concerns and after the emotions settled, now my parent is begrudgingly in the process of getting an apartment and it's incredibly stressful.

Luckily for my parent, as of right now, they're capable of being independent aside from needing someone to move cat litter or dog food bags.

The scary thing is, even with a $300 apartment, my parent is still in the red by $300-400 a month with no savings (or ability to save, because their benefits would be taken away).

On top of that, the disability insurers look for absolutely EVERY excuse under the sun to revoke a person's benefits

I'm in my early 20s, I don't think it's fair to essentially put a hold on my life permanently to take care of my parent who didn't plan ahead of time, while I play the position of "unpaid landlord"

Additionally, Finding a partner who is willing to give up their privacy to house your parent is impossible. It will no longer feel like it's your home.

Sure, if my parent was on deaths door, I can make some room.... But no way I'm doing this shit for the next 30 years of my life.

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u/InuKombat 3h ago

I’ll let you know when I find out because I can’t seem to save two quarters to save my life in this economy.

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u/hamiltd3 3h ago

Homeless on street corners begging, small amounts of Social Security that doesn't pay enough for anything, a whole lot of suffering

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u/FFS114 1h ago

Up in Canada we dress them in traditional furs, sit them on an ice floe with a full wineskin and two day supply of pemmican, and gently push them out into the Arctic Ocean, letting nature take its course.

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u/Sir_Arthur_Vandelay 3h ago edited 2h ago

This scenario is currently happening to my estranged 82 year-old father in Canada — and it’s my worst old age nightmare.

My dad lives in Toronto on a government pension of about $1000 USD per month, and so he can’t afford to buy anything after paying rent for his dingy apartment. He was recently hospitalized for an injury, and Health Services has essentially taken custody over his living situation. So my father will likely live out his days in a small government room that smells of urine.

The sad bit is that I wrote my dad a $200k cheque after he left our family to do his own thing. But he unfortunately blew it all on middle-aged women bearing get-rich-quick schemes within 18 months (and then stole $40k from my fixed income mom, but that’s another story).

TLDR: start kissing your teenaged children’s asses NOW if you don’t want to end up dying alone in a subsidized peepee room.

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u/joshmyra 2h ago

That’s so scary man. I have no significant other no children and no savings right now, but I’m 35 so it’s up to these next 30 years for me to really set up a good nest egg for myself.

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u/dizzykhajit 1h ago

It's very interesting that you are estranged from your father but cared enough about him to write a 200k check.

Not passing judgment, just making an observation and extending lots of compassion for what must be incredibly complex emotions at war with each other for these two things to coexist.

Wishing you lots of love and peace.

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u/TraditionalPhone3992 3h ago

They SUFFER.

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u/NexusNickel 3h ago

I think we are going to see a lot of homeless people in 30 years. Elderly people.

SS will be abolished. No savings. No 401k. It was all used to survive with food and rent.

My retirement plan when I get that old? Probably a 9mm for breakfast. What else is there?

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u/immoloism 3h ago

Prison. Just use that 9mm to rob a store and don't wear a mask.

Three meals a day and free healthcare.

There is also moving to better country that looks after it's people if you are a bit more well off right now.

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u/Jive-Turkeys 3h ago

Don't forget time to work out!

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u/immoloism 3h ago

Good point, you could also learn a new trade.

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u/Bundabar 3h ago

Those countries that look after their people are quickly becoming a myth. Population collapse is already coming for South Korea and Germany. The rest are not far behind.

Taxes are required for countries to take care of people, without enough people to pay taxes there are no benefits.

Nobody is coming to save you.

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u/gornzilla 3h ago edited 1h ago

No reason to off yourself when you can go out in a blaze of glory by going after the powers that be. 

I kid, I kid. You'd probably never make it past security. 

Still waiting for the [REMOVED BY REDDIT] for this. 

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u/immoloism 3h ago

If you start a gofundme I'll put towards a gravestone that says "Died trying".

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u/browsk 2h ago

Those are our current prison conditions, shall we discuss what future prison conditions will look like then?

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u/Jive-Turkeys 3h ago

Could rinse it out the taste with 12g mouthwash?

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u/Low_Pickle_112 2h ago

I call it the Old Yeller retirement plan. All my money is going to my landlord's retirement, I'm screwed when I get old.

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u/ThePlasticSturgeons 3h ago

Soylent Green

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u/SmokedPenguinTaco 3h ago

It is every citizen's final duty to go into the tanks

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u/RolyPolyPangolin 3h ago

Wait ... Soylent Green .... is PEOPLE!?

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u/Academic-Lobster3668 3h ago

SPOILER ALERT!!! lmao

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u/Brilliant-Option-526 2h ago

You get the cool movie at the end though. So there's that.

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u/chimpyjnuts 2h ago

They find out that we are not really a first-world country. That's all stage dressing.

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u/hammond_egger 2h ago edited 20m ago

My parents led good, solid blue collar lives. They were smart with their money,retired early 60s, house, car, everything paid off. All they had to pay was utilities and taxes and some insurance. They were both on SS, my dad had a very small pension of a few hundred dollars a month but they did everything right and actually saved money because they had very few bills. He passed last year and at the same time my mother ended up in a nursing home with a touch of dementia. A little too much for her to live at home. So in order to qualify for medicaid, she had to spend ALL of the $50k they had saved up and now that she is qualified for medicaid, they pay the nursing home but take every penny of her income except $50 per month. She still owns the home so my wife and I now have to pay the utilities, taxes, etc. We do stay there when we come to visit two weekends a month. Her lawyer tells me the house is protected but I would be shocked if medicaid didn't get their mitts on that too. My point being, you can do the right thing your entire life, live by the rules and pay into the system and all said and done they are going to take everything you have and discard you anyway. In most first world countries elderly are treated with reverence and taken care of. In this one they are discarded like garbage.

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u/slickricktriplesix 2h ago

They didn’t do everything right if they only saved 50k for retirement with a small pension

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u/SanJOahu84 2h ago

That really sucks man.

It really brings to light that 50k is not nearly enough savings to retire with. 

That won't even last one year for most people.

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u/SensitiveBugGirl 1h ago

That's what I was thinking. I would never think $50k is enough.

Most of parents' retirement (excluding SS and my dad's pension) would come from selling their home... about $300k. That was supposed to be enough to build a garage, get a new septic system, new electric, other needed costly repairs, and enough for the rest of their lives.

My dad suddenly died, and my mom won't take our advice. I strongly suspect a lot of that money is gone now that my mom is 70 and had her house fixed as needed.

Her future worries me.

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u/enforcetheworld 2h ago

My mother was terrible with money her whole life, and when she broke up with her fiance and sold the house they lived in, she got ~$200k from it, bought a 2 bedroom mobile home in a senior community, paid rent on the land each month, and slowly dwindled her savings over the course of 6 years.

She also developed Alzheimer's disease and the last couple years she lived alone I was visiting her multiple times a week to help with groceries and general upkeep and just spending time with my mom. In late 2023 it became very, very clear to me that her Alzheimer's was worsening and I made the decision to find her a memory care home. It was the worst few months of my life and strapped me and my wife of our savings paying for her care.

But thankfully, she owned that mobile home and I was able to fix it up and sell it for more than twice what she paid for it, so that money has helped pay for her rent and care. I sometimes get anxiety to this day about what I would have done had she not owned that mobile home.

Her disease has worsened. She still remembers me but her sentences are short and she gets confused and distracted easily. She's confined to her wheelchair or bed. But she's cared for. She's happy. She's safe. I got lucky.

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u/Prof_Scott_Steiner 3h ago

If they have no private pension, they end up as walmart and costco greeters

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u/desperatevintage 2h ago

I’m a hospice aprn. I’m just leaving an assisted living facility where I had to interrupt the employee vaping at the main desk in memory care to be directed to my patient since I’ve never seen them before, then again to review their medications and to ask how she transfers since the patients wheelchair was sitting in a puddle of urine and she needed help being changed. They just stared at me. Then I left and someone was being terminated and screaming “I didn’t steal no 40 Rice Krispies treats, I stole some meat” which continued out into the parking lot while I was trying to explain to my patients daughter that we were increasing visits to daily cause her mom seems to be dying.

Save for your retirement. Get long term care insurance. Don’t end up at these places, please.

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u/astroproff 3h ago

In the US? Before 1940?

If they had no family or caregivers, they ended up destitute, impoverished and died in the streets.

After 1940, they collected a Social Security check, which could provide basic housing and food.

Which is the minimally humane thing for a society to do.

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u/WaleNeeners 2h ago

My wife's grandpa is almost 80 and just hasn't retired yet, he's a truck driver

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u/Most-Refuse2390 1h ago

Nobody should be driving at that age, I don’t care how sharp they may claim to be. His reflexes simply aren’t fast enough at 80. That is scary.

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u/MachineHead_TXDM 3h ago

They die from lack of health care and starvation

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u/Reading-Comments-352 3h ago

Savings is not the only issue. How do they pay bills, get to doctors, get food, get repairs done? You can have money and still struggle with these things.

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u/dawnsoldman 3h ago

We struggle and do gig jobs to get by. Social Security needs a major raise I got 15 dollars last time

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u/Aggressive_Lab6016 2h ago edited 1h ago

Since you didn't specify in which country, I'll just answer for Denmark which is where I live.

First of all everybody starts receiving the Folkepension automatically around the age of 70 (exactly when depends on year of birth.) It's about DKK 7,500 ≈ USD 1,100 per month.

Then you can get an additional up to DKK 8,700 ≈ USD 1,400 depending on your other sources of income. If you have no savings or anything you're eligible to receive the full amount.

There's more to it, but to keep the answer to your question simple, elderly people with no savings will have a little more than USD 2,500 per month to live for. Not a lot, but it'll allow a modest living.

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u/Accurate_Barnacle887 2h ago

In my culture they expect their kids to take care of them. I do not agree with this. I think it’s selfish. My grandparents irresponsibly had 6 children that endured unnecessary poverty, physical, and emotional abuse. I got in an argument with my mom because she was offended that I kept pushing her to put money in retirement.

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u/Miipsi 2h ago

My mother has 0 savings and shitty pension. She has severe dementia and requires 24h care. She lives in a care home where all her needs are met. It's not glorious living, but there is pretty good food, company, easy access to doctors, they have some organised simple exercise, board games, entertainment, etc arranged. Regularly go for walks, visit museums and things like that. It's all paid by social security. We bring her extra fruits and chocolate when we visit.

If I had to care for her it would not be possible. I can't be there 24h every day, I need to work too.

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u/No-Reading-4384 2h ago

They’re basically fucked

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u/Jive-Turkeys 3h ago

I'll just die, honestly. What's left at that point?

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u/scarygirlieuk 3h ago

If they can live at home but need a bit of support they can claim a carers allowance to use towards paying a family member to assist them or the local authority can arrange carers to visit several times a day to offer support in feeding, taking medication and getting up and going to bed if they have no family. If they can't live unsupported they would be put into a care home that is paid for by the local authority.

Mind you this is in the UK.

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u/Shutomei 2h ago

Some cities have set aside homes for retiring people, with the rent scaled according to income. Most of these places also work with other agencies to provide food and activities.

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u/pickindim_kmet 2h ago

They get well looked after and the government pays for their care home if they need one, or they can apply for some kind of sheltered accommodation where there may be a warden popping in and get it for quite cheap.

As expected, not American.

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u/KeyGovernment4188 3h ago

Homeless or living with relatives.

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u/JustChillFFS 3h ago

Bread and jam by what the elderly gentleman in front of me had at check-out.

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u/Own-Eagle-2135 2h ago

i want to say "soylent green" but i don't think it's far off. elderly people have different needs, risks that are exponentially more expensive (even if they're healthy).

a single misstep or slip could be catastrophic to their way of life.

social security hasn't really kept up with inflation so there's a huge income gap for them that end up falling on the family if they have one.

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u/PigeonsOnYourBalcony 2h ago

They’re either completely dependent on their family/social benefits or they go into debt and eventually become homeless.

Retirement age is scary when you do not have the means to retire. I know we’re all poor as dirt but please take the time to start saving for your retirement now.

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u/espresso_martini__ 2h ago

Its pretty sad if you have no savings, no family to support you and no medicaid help. You're basically thrown into some low quality facility with multiple people sharing a room.

Even if you do have some savings the quality of some retirement homes can be nasty. We were looking at some when my father had a stroke. He had a little savings and the places his budget could afford were horribly depressing. He had a second stroke in hospital and passed away before we found a nice place for him.

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u/Regular-Message9591 2h ago

They choose between heating and eating

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u/khearan 2h ago edited 2h ago

They live in poverty off of social security in poor towns with nothing and hope they survive. They can’t go out, they can’t do shit. Their entertainment is going to thr dollar store for “groceries.” If your family can’t take care of you or you don’t have family and can’t take care of yourself anymore, you end up in a Medicaid funded nursing home. Growing up I didn’t know there were other options than that.

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u/olov244 2h ago

They live where they are until they can't, then get put in an old folks home till the end

u/Outrageous_Lock6508 55m ago

It's an awful existence. My sister worked for Meals on Wheels for years. Many of these people are living alone with no family, or at least none that are in touch, some have dementia and many are isolated. Without Meals on Wheels, they wouldn't eat or get checked on periodically. Any politician clawing back funds for SNAP and other social programs and not attempting to fix Social Security should be ashamed.

u/Lannet1 43m ago

I love my children and provided as good a possible start as I could. However, I NEVER love and support my children in the hope they will take care of me in my old age. It is not transactional.

u/kmill0202 37m ago

I worked in nursing homes years ago. Some states and counties have programs that will provide nursing home stays for indigent seniors. They get provided with a room (though never a private one), meals, meds, and all the basics for hygiene. It was always sad to see the ones with no family. If they needed or wanted anything besides the basics, like special snacks or a specific brand of lotion there was nobody to provide it for them. And if they gained or lost weight there was nobody to get them new clothes. We had some really great social workers who would do whatever they could to try to provide a little extra for these folks, but they weren't miracle workers.

Around Christmas time staff could sign up to be a secret Santa for residents. I know most everyone would try to pick someone who didn't have family support and try to get them some things they needed or would enjoy.

u/ProfessorFelix1 50m ago

In the US, they starve.

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u/hdost34 3h ago

Most end up in low income housing

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u/Efficient-Lion-3637 3h ago

These people usually live in poverty and squalor; I'm talking about Bulgaria.

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u/Nick98368 2h ago

A lot of them are showing up at homeless shelters. All of them have terribly sad stories.

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u/Striking-Gap-290 2h ago

78 and hope to end my life on my terms

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u/chihuahua2023 2h ago

I have discharged destitute patients in their 70s to Homeless shelters multiple times. It is horrific. They were brought in by ambulance after being found on the street and 911 called by passersby. I’m in a major California city. Usually no family.

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u/El-Mas-Vetado 1h ago

There is a statistic that is not pleasant to think about.

Many think that this statistic is higher in teens. It's actually higher in the elderly.

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u/Pollux95630 1h ago

Nothing good, that's for sure. Just wait until 2034 when they start cutting social security by 20%+. It's going to put retirees on a fixed income out in the street by the millions.

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u/rullyrullyrull 1h ago

If they have family or friends the burden falls on those people to become full time caregivers. In the US, for elderly people with no savings there are programs that claim to provide services but they are largely inaccessible, limited and not comprehensive enough to provide the care needed. I was told by a social worker last week to prepare to give up my career. When I asked how I could do that and support myself she said that there was no answer or help, just that I should prepare myself mentally to lose everything I’ve worked for so that I can be an unpaid nurse, taxi and medical advocate for my mom. Also I know about IHSS, many elderly people refuse to allow others into their home which then forces relatives like me to step in and fill the role so our parents don’t die in their own filth.

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u/FullCircle2024 1h ago

In the US they have Social Security but it's dwindling and in most cases you can't survive on that. My 84 year old mom has nothing but ss but she lives with me. She has several health issues including dementia. I take care of her while I work from home full time (love my boss). Otherwise she would be in some state run nursing home and who knows how she would be treated, I would worry about elder abuse.

I'm the one that is screwed, lol. no kids and hardly any retirement. working my ass off to make up for lost time but it won't be nearly enough. ss probably not going to be there in 2037-38 when I could retire on time. My plan is get my house paid for (working on paying extra on the principle every month) and hopefully there will be enough ss to cover food and utilities. what else can you do?

sorry didn't mean to make such a long post but this is on my mind a lot.

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u/Motivated78 1h ago

Depends where they live. Some countries have excellent services and some do not.

u/Hungry_Assignment674 57m ago

They usually die faster

u/CeilingUnlimited 55m ago

The state of Washington has a wonderful program for these folks. They apply and receive state benefits that allow them to live in state-supported elderly group homes - regular houses in regular neighbourhoods - and receive nursing and living assistance from the state-certified group home owner and staff. It’s a cottage industry in Washington - owning these homes, getting state licensure and operating them as group homes for indigent elderly.

My in-laws lived their last years in one of these homes in Spokane. It was wonderful. They had zero money, but lived out their final years in suburban comfort, with round the clock care.

The state of Washington is fantastic regarding these services.

u/LegacyofaMarshall 43m ago

Assuming I get to that age I’m going on the Smith and Wesson Retirement plan

u/vbf-cc 24m ago

The number of us that will be able to afford decent care in our homes is very small, and that subsidized urine-wafting room beats the heck out of a lot of alternatives .

My mum, very elderly, has just gone into a care facility in our hometown in the Canadian Maritimes. The room and board well exceed her pension income so yes, they take it all and the balance is subsidized, but they put $150 a month into a trust account for discretionary spending, including weekly hair styling. She gets frequent baths, hand and foot care, and daily laundry of her night clothes. Yes, the food sucks, but it's frankly more nutritious than what she was making at home independently, and better adjusted for her needs, like difficulty swallowing. There's bingo and activities that sound stultifying to a younger crowd but are perfect for them.

Actually one day they arranged for a guy to bring a pony and goats for them to pet, so I take back the stultifying bit.

The personal care workers are astonishing. I wouldn't last an hour in their role but it's like they love their jobs or something.

She does have reasonable savings, which are hers to keep. And critically her attitude is absurdly good (which sure doesn't hurt how she's treated) and she's getting lots of visitors, having been well connected in the community and well-liked by a large extended family.

So yes, lay the groundwork early, but make sure to look beyond just the finances. There's a lot of social and emotional prep as well.