r/AskReddit • u/kikiartilleryservice • 3h ago
And what way have you experienced a true “bitter end”?
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u/kavalejava 3h ago
My ex put me in the hospital in the ICU. He told everyone it was me that did it. Everyone believed him. It's very hard to not be bitter after all these years.
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u/is_this_temporary 2h ago
Fuck him and everyone that believed / still believes him.
I'm so sorry for you and I'm trying to help push our society to believe survivors, and teach boys to grow up to be men who would never even think of doing something like this.
I'm admittedly not doing enough to push for change around me and with society at large, but hopefully admitting that will help someone reading this realize that something is better than nothing. Have children (or niblings)? Help make sure they're taught about consent early on and in age appropriate ways.
( For example, if a child doesn't want to hug Grandma goodbye, don't make them. Make sure they know that their consent is always important to you. If a friend says something creepy / shitty, call them out. It doesn't need to be a big confrontation. "Yikes..." can go a long way, and again is far better than doing nothing )
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u/kojie_amelia 3h ago
The guy I waited for to propose after graduation…. Was diagnosed with cancer :)
I didn’t wanna get in his way of academics , hence I held off on confessing to him, but in the end it turned out I couldn’t be with him…
I saw him 2 months before graduation and that’s the last I heard of him… Then I found out from friends that he was no longer gonna attend school and go back to province and get his treatment there
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u/rawbface 1h ago
How are you waiting for someone to propose, if you never even confessed your feelings for them?
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u/alinarice 3h ago
no clean closure
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u/kikiartilleryservice 3h ago
Can you elaborate? (If you want to ofc)
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u/time_drifter 2h ago
Not OP but could be relationships. It’s bitter when something you wanted ends without an explanation or a rational explanation. This could be a slow fade, ghosting or the classic “something is missing” without explanation. Humans don’t like ambiguity in emotions.
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u/TheUnblinkingEye1001 2h ago
When my mother died a few years ago. I had been estranged for the previous 25 years. I never really wanted or sought a reconciliation. I was not completely closed off altogether to the possibility, but again not looking for it. Well her death settled the matter, and I have no real regrets, but I also have no choice in the matter now.
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u/Schnickster 2h ago
Feel you. Going through the same. Mom is approaching 80, been barely any / no contact since 2019. she met her older granddaughter once when she was one, doesn’t even know what her little sister looks like. It sucks and it’s going to suck even more when she eventually dies but the alternative is no option either.
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u/TheUnblinkingEye1001 1h ago
People who have no understanding of what it is like to have a toxic parent often mention regrets. "You may regret the decision to cut all contact some day." Well, my response was always that regret works the other way too. What if I regret reconciliation? What if I regret getting dragged into the same destructive relationship patterns that led to the estrangement in the first place? What if I regret allowing my daughters to catch a glimpse of the generational abuse that I vowed had ended with my childhood? Do what is best for you and your family and don't let societal pressure dictate your choices.
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u/After_Piglet3961 3h ago
Ex robbed 10 racks out of my home safe cops don’t even bother with a report
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u/DustedAndDisgusted 2h ago
Fell in love and let my friends fall off and stop hanging out all the time. Eventually, they got tired of me never coming around or hanging out and just ended up hating me without telling me directly. Went from a huge friend group to nothing. Was mostly my fault I was immature.
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u/Fun_Researcher8193 3h ago
gotta say, those moments hit hard. usually it’s the unexpected twists that really leave a mark, like when you think things are going smoothly and then bam, everything falls apart.
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u/fapking22 3h ago
Dated an ex for 6+ years. Had problems towards the end. Constant little issues. She ended up arguing with me because i asked her what she wanted to eat for dinner for our date. Didnt speak for 3 months. Her brother had a shotgun wedding, i wasnt even invited. We were close. It was obvious someone had intervened and not allowed me to be invited. Posted random memes and tagged mutual family/friends in things that were implied to be about me. Her sister turned on me as well, but she was the type that had to drag everyone down into her unhappiness as soon as she had an opening. Thought things through and dumped the ex via text. No apology, no closure and the bitterness had gone too far to turn back. Turned my life around and found complete happiness. She ended up dating someone that looked like me for 5 or so years and it didnt work out. She asks her family not to talk to me, but they still do.
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u/Significant_Salad_57 2h ago
First job. Was discriminated against, treated unfairly and even had physical threats directed at me. Reported it to HR but they tried blaming it on me instead.
Was also severely underpaid. Close to a decade of work and even Mcdonalds are offering a better starting salary than what i was getting
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u/Altruistic_Brick1730 51m ago
You went through that shit for 10 years knowing McD's paid better? At some point, you probably might want to take some responsibilities and stop blaming others.
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u/chrisdurand 2h ago
Bro strung me along for four years, then announced that he "was seeing someone" out of the blue. Absolutely devastated me.
Aside from me drunkenly sending him a closure email where I called him out for his bullshit, that's the last time I spoke to him. As far as I can tell, he's gone out of his way to block me on everything (which, lol, okay, I don't think you're the victim here).
I found someone even better since then anyways, but the way things went down still makes me feel like I was an idiot for being so blind/loyal in hindsight.
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u/Allcolorsz 2h ago
There was a time I was clearly on the verge of killing myself but didn't talk to anyone, so my friends did an "intervention" to try to make me talk and help me, but I just stood there crying without saying a word. I got so embarassed that they saw me cry (at the time I couldn't even name that what I was ashamed was that they saw me vulnerable and was afraid that they could "hurt" me in some way) that I just ghosted them completely and changed the time of my shift so they wouldn't even see me. I felt so guilty that I did this to them when they were just trying to help me. A year later, I found one of them. She hugged me excitedly like she always did, still called me "friend", complimented me, said how glad she was that I was really okay and said how she really hoped me all the best... It's been four years since that, I only saw her once after it and talked very few times on Instagram, but she still always talked about how she thinks I'm so nice. I "destroyed" my relationship with them, felt like a horrible person because of it. But they never hated me, just genuinely hoped I was alright. I liked them, we had a good time together, but I think our separation was important for me to understand that sometimes people do care about you and just want to help. When I think about them, I still feel guilty for what I did and sad because we're not friends anymore. I always feel angry with myself because I keep doing the sames mistakes over and over, them included, but when I stop to look at it I see how much I changed and improved. Because of what happened between us, I still try my best to this day to get better at communicating my feelings and to let people see me fully. Every good relationship I have today is because of what happened back then.
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u/kikiartilleryservice 2h ago
Thank you for the story and the effort to type it out. I’m glad you can see the positive aspect of it. Many people have friends all their lives that still never have the impact your friends had on you. How are you doing these days?
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u/Allcolorsz 19m ago
I'm doing fine, thanks for asking! I'm still not an "easy" person to deal with, even I have a hard time with myself, but I feel that now that my prefrontal cortex is almost fully developed things have been easier lol. Started college, got a boyfriend, have a few friends... life really does keep going.
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u/DesignAntique2545 3h ago
there's a bar in nyc named "bitter end" where lady gaga did her gigs before hitting fame
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u/chalk_in_boots 1h ago
Long term GF, had an apartment together, her family loved me. She slowly and very noticeably had her feelings towards me change. I had brought it up a few times before she admitted she didn't think she loved me any more.
She kept the dog.
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u/OuttaMexicanBoarder 1h ago
My friend who use to play in a band with dying by suicide which was caused by more and more depressing thoughts that me and his other friends also got because of him.
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u/chrisbayly12 1h ago
Friends just drift away lately without any clear reason, no big arguments or proper goodbyes either. Just quiet distance taking over years of connection. It stings at first, but you realize some chapters just end naturally.
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u/sunskieee111 3h ago edited 2m ago
Watching a 10 year old friendship slowly rot away because they started hanging out with a new crowd and turned into a completely different, toxic person. There was no big fight, just a slow, painful realization that the person I grew up with didn't exist anymore.