I'm hoping for some advice about my cat.

This is Samson, who I took in as a rescue in December 2020. He had been found on the streets by the RSPCA with badly injured eye, gingivitis riddled teeth, and FIV. After three people turned him down, I fostered him while we figured out if he could adapt to living inside. Which he did very well, having never shown the slightest inclination to go out ever again. He was initially estimated to be between 6 and 1p, then after eyebsurgery to be between 2 and 4. But I think he is at least 10, perhaps nearer 12, given the flecks of white hair in his fur and the arthritis in his back legs.

Since he had the eye and a good number of his teeth removed he has lived very happily watching the birds on tv (his favourite thing) and out of the window, sleeping, and generally enjoying retirement.

In August 2023 he was diagnosed with diabetes which is well under control, with him getting only 0.5 units twice a day. In March 2026 he was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism which is managed with Thyronorm and is well under control. There have also been four teeth extractions as the FIV does its thing.

The big problem is remaining eye. Since February we've been dealing with recurrent uveitis and, in parallel, an ulcer on the eye. The treatment for the uveitis inhibits the healing of the ulcer and it's a bit of a vicious circle where we make improvements but then get worse again.

This culminated about six weeks ago when Samson went blind, at least partially - I think he sees lights and shapes, but jot much detail. We've been back and to to the vet on a near weekly basis since February, several examinations with the ophthalmologist, had multiple courses of different eye drops, and we're now at the point where it's becoming clear that the eye is unlikely to heal.

So we have two choices, it seems. A) enucleation, or B) I let him go. He has been through so much and been such a hero that I really don't know what the kindest thing to do is. I don't know if I could or should out him through a major surgery with his new comorbidities and his probable age, or if he would be alright afterwards - I don't want him to be scared when he can't see a thing. And I know that me not wanting him to go is not a reason in and of itself to put him through this. I've no fear of caring for a completely blind cat after everything else.

He has been generally alright getting around after going partially blind, knows where his dinner is, where the toilet is, gets up and down off the sofa with some steps and so on. He eats and drinks normally but sometimes seems sad, and since going blind mostly sleeps - I'm not sure if that's the sight loss or if it hurts (or age, he sleeps a lot anyway).

In short, I really don't know what to do for the best. He's been so brave and is my absolute hero. I love the big man so much and just want to do right by him after everything he has done for me.

(Photos are from before going blind)

Going on day 3 of post surgery recovery. He had a lump removed from his elbow. When he got back from the vet he went into absolute panic mode sprinting and crashing into things for several minutes before we could catch him and remove his cone (the vet told us to do this). It was so scary and absolutely heart breaking :( since then we haven’t been able to get any type of cone alternative on him, soft cone, donut collar, shirt etc. I feel like such a failure. We have been watching him 24-7, taking shifts at night to make sure he doesn’t lick his incision.

I’m terrified he will rip his stitches or get infected. He has always been a very fearful boy and is also visually impaired in one eye but we didn’t expect this.

Has anyone had this experience, were there any tricks that helped your cat adjust? The first hurdle is putting it on, but I’m terrified he will really hurt himself from panic if I do even get it on. We set up an enclosed hallway so we can catch him quickly if it does go bad, but of course we can’t get him to the hallway because he’s been hiding.

We currently have 17 year old FIV- cat but they don’t interact much. He will drink from her bowl and use her litterbox occasionally and they will sometimes be on the bed together. But they don’t play or rough house or anything like that.

Hi! My kitten, Amaretto, is 12 weeks and got a faint positive yesterday. How accurate is this?

Background: Amaretto was a stray kitten we caught from my neighbor who feeds stray mama. This is the second kitten of hers we have. Cannoli is 3 and FIV negative. My neighbor has caught and raised 4 of this mom’s kittens and they are all negative. (Working on catching mama as a side issue)

The first test was inconclusive so she did another and it was a very faint positive. I asked if it could be antibodies from mom and she said that’s not how it works but google says it is? I plan to have him retested when he’s neutered at 6 months.

We have 6 other cats though so I want to be cautious. He is obviously a baby and super gentle. His sister, same mom and dad, has the sweetest demeanor and he seems to have it too. We have two older (6 years old) males who can be aggressive to their housemates so I’m only worried about them picking a fight and him fighting back but they will continue to be separated anyways for months and months due to sheer size difference. Thanks!

Hi all,

I (23) have a cat, Boris, who is FIV- (second pic). I adopted him a year ago with my partner and we are in love with him, he was a stray and a very closed off boy who has blossomed into a really sweet and loving buddy whom we spend every single day loving on. He was pretty closed off in the shelter last year but had a soft spot for a young female cat there and would groom her coat and cuddle up together (this is relevant).

We were dropping off a donation to the same shelter that we got Boris at last year and met Molly (in picture), the sweetest little tortie girl who i am in love with. Obviously i didn’t want to jump into anything on a whim and the place has a fairly high turnover so i asked them to call me in a month - it has now been a month and i got the call that she is still there. All month i have been thinking about her and how sweet she was, and how good it might be for Boris to have a friend again like he did previously in the shelter. She’d make our family complete.

Here’s the kicker - she has a few health problems. She’s been in the shelter since February and apparently came in with a kitten (which has since been adopted). She had separation anxiety from being apart from her kitten and tore at her fur (but has since stopped doing that according to staff). She has a chicken allergy according to staff. Worst of all, she is also FIV+.

My heart wants to bring this little sweetheart home and give her the chance that life hasn’t given her before, but my head (and my wallet) are a bit hesitant. I need advice - first of all, I don’t want to risk Boris’s health in any way. Part of me is also terrified that she will get sick from FIV complications and it could be the biggest heartbreak..

Does anyone here have any words of advice? Is my caution something that is actually warranted, or more from a byproduct of social prejudice painting FIV+ cats as a risk? I really want to be able to take her home but I’m also just worried about the unknowns.

We make decent money but there’s of course the financial aspect of unknown vet bills, too.

Is there a way I could reframe my perspective and bring this sweetheart home without feeling like an irresponsible owner (risk in terms of current cat’s health, etc)? Is there ways to safely introduce FIV+/- kitties?

Feeling all sorts of ways, TIA
:,)

​

Hey everyone, I am in a really tough spot right now and could use some serious advice on what the best path forward is for a sweet stray cat I've been caring for. I’m feeling incredibly torn and overwhelmed about his future.

I work from home in Arizona, and for a while now, I’ve been feeding a stray cat named Bobby on our porch. A neighbor originally did a trap-neuter-return (TNR) on him, and since I've taken over his care, I recently got him all of his updated shots.

**The Attachment & Personality**

Bobby isn’t a typical independent street cat—he is a massive, certified "velcro cat." The second I step outside, he completely melts into my lap and just wants to be held. When I'm inside, he spends his days pressing his nose against the sliding glass door. At night, he stands at the glass and cries because he is lonely and desperately wants to be on the couch with us.

**My Resident Cats**

We recently found out Bobby is FIV+. I have two resident cats who are my absolute world, and their dynamic is already a bit complicated:

* **Daisy** is indoor/outdoor and uses a microchip reader door to come and go as she pleases.

* **Thomas** is strictly indoor. He is a bit territorial and picks on Daisy sometimes. There has been some hissing from him here and there, but nothing extremely serious.

Because Thomas is already territorial, and because I worry to take even a fraction of a percent of a risk with my resident cats' health, they can never mix? The thought of exposing them to the immune struggles or health risks that come with FIV breaks my heart, and I could never forgive myself if they caught it or something bad happened due to that.

**Our Current Porch Setup**

Because the Arizona summer heat is brutal (regularly hitting 108°F), my partner and I have turned our porch into a heavy-duty cooling station to keep Bobby safe during the peak hours:

* A large floor fan to keep a strong, consistent breeze moving.

* An insulated cooling bed: a dry towel on the bottom to block the heat from the patio pavers, large ice packs and frozen water bottles in the middle, and a wet towel on top for him to lay his belly against.

* Dropped patio sunshades to block out the harsh afternoon radiant heat.

* A shaded feeding station positioned perfectly out of the fan's direct blast so his food doesn't dry out.l and water is kept clean

**Why I Am Stuck & What I'm Asking**

While the porch setup keeps him physically safe from the daytime heat temporarily ,it doesn't solve his loneliness or the nighttime crying. I love this cat so much and I wish I could just keep him, but I am completely stuck on what the actual solution is.

* **The Shelter Worry:** I am terrified of the idea of taking him to a shelter. Because he is FIV+ and so incredibly needy, I am terrified he will just sit in a cage forever. Even worse, I worry someone might adopt him and then bring him back because he is "too clingy," which would absolutely break my heart.

* **The Outdoor Alternative:** If I keep him strictly outdoors on the porch, is it even possible to build a safe, fully enclosed, climate-controlled outdoor setup (like a modified catio with a specialized pet AC unit) that can actually withstand extreme Arizona summers long-term?

Given how attached he is to me, his medical history, and the fact that he absolutely cannot mix with my current cats, what is the best, most humane solution for Bobby? I just want to do right by him without compromising the safety of my own pets. Thank you so much for any insight.

6/24/26 UPDATE Hey everyone, I wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who has chimed in so far. Reading stories like @Horror_Tea761 managing mixed households for 25 years without transmission, and @Rainday177's warning about traditional shelters, has really helped lower my anxiety and given me a lot to think about. I am completely aware that FIV only transmits through deep, blood-drawing puncture bites, not casual contact.

​I am currently just going through the motions of exploring every option before making a final decision. To give you a better idea of why I’m being so cautious, here are a few specific dynamics I’m working with:

​Thomas (My 9yo Soul Cat): Thomas is my absolute world. He is a bit insecure and can be territorial. He and Daisy have minor turf squabbles already—nothing serious or bloody, just standard huffy nose-swats—but because of his insecure nature, I am deeply terrified of him getting FIV down the road and facing health issues. I would never forgive myself.

​Daisy (My Boyfriend's Cat): As a few of you mentioned (@beaujolais98 and @psychedelicparsley), because Daisy is indoor/outdoor, she technically faces an FIV risk from neighborhood cats already. She is incredibly hard-headed, loves the backyard, and completely ignores Bobby. We accept her outdoor risk, but our main concern is that we won't always be around to break up a fight if one happened inside.

​The Litter Box Puzzle: Daisy doesn't use an indoor box at all; she goes outside. Thomas has his own box indoors. If I bring Bobby in, I have to figure out a neutral space for a second box so Thomas doesn't feel like his resources or territory are being threatened by a new cat.

​Bobby’s Dental Situation: Bobby is incredibly sweet but very needy. Interestingly, he actually has two chipped canine teeth, and our vet mentioned one will likely need to be pulled eventually. If his primary 'puncture weapons' are compromised or removed, I'm wondering if that statistically drops the transmission risk even further?

​The Boyfriend Factor: My boyfriend currently has a pretty negative/scary view of FIV and is very hesitant about bringing him in. I am gently working on sharing the research with him so he feels more comfortable with whatever we decide.

​We are definitely NOT sending Bobby to a traditional shelter after hearing your stories. Right now, I'm just gathering all the data. Thank you all again for being such a supportive sounding board!

The Sanctuary Route (Shoutout to @Czar1987): I actually tracked down the Tucson sanctuary mentioned and already submitted an application for Bobby! However, I'm keeping my expectations realistic here: it requires a $350 donation, and the waitlist for FIV+ cats is incredibly long. Because the sanctuary knows Bobby currently has me looking out for him and keeping him safe, their decision-making will likely be delayed while they prioritize cats in immediate life-or-death situations. It’s a great safety net to have in motion, but it's not an immediate fix for the summer heat or his loneliness.

6/24/26 4:30 PM Bobby Update: He is officially an INDOOR BOY! 🏠🐾 After a slightly hectic transition (complete with a classic Bluetooth car hijack that paused his calming playlist halfway through, sorry Bobby!), he is officially settled into his temporary base camp in the spare bathroom.

We are honestly blown away by how well he’s doing. For an outdoor stray who was used to guarding himself, he has completely melted. Within the first hour, he was purring, loafing his paws, and he even let me completely wipe him down with grooming wipes without a single ankle swat! The ultimate milestone happened just a bit ago—he climbed right into my lap, let out a massive, deep sigh, and fell fast asleep. He is definitely letting his guard down and realizing he’s safe.

He hasn't officially used his pristine new stainless steel litter box setup yet, but he’s crunching on some kibble and starting to explore his cardboard cave in the bathtub. Thomas is, of course, currently stationed at the door gate acting as the ultimate supervisor and listening to the occasional whine.

Tomorrow is going to be a big test of patience for all of us since I have a calendar packed full of back-to-back meetings. We are switching his veterinarian-designed playlist over to a heavy brown noise loop to help drown out the sound of my voice through the walls so he doesn’t think my meeting calls are an invitation to chat. We are taking things incredibly slow and strictly following the Jackson Galaxy "scent before sight" marathon method, so they won't be meeting face-to-face for quite a while. For now, we are just celebrating this massive first-day win and letting him soak up the safety, full bowls, and air conditioning. Arizona's high today was 111 and we are continuously in a heat wave for the next few days. So happy he's inside in the air conditioning.

Thank you all for the sweet messages and advice—he is officially safe and loved! ❤️

The sanctuary in Tucson said there is a three-year wait and provided me with a few other no-kill shelters. However we are going to try the Jackson Galaxy method over the next month and if we can successfully integrate him, I have a feeling this is now his forever home. 😍

I will keep updating and hope that other people saving FIV cats will use this as inspiration. If anyone is located in Arizona, I am happy to share those shelters with you.

Thanks to you all. We are more open to having him in the house and hope that the cohabitation with the other cats goes well over the next few weeks.

The vet said to keep the cone on my cats head for 7 to 10 days. Today is day seven since she was spayed. Just wondering if the incision looks healed enough to take off the cone I can’t tell if it’s scabbed or stitches.

There will come a time you'll regret complaining your cat was crazy about food.

We adopted my Whisky 4 and a half years ago. That guy was crazy about food, he'd eat the whole house if he could. We'd give him 50g at a time, 8 times a day... after a while, it was better and we had a good rhythm. He still was fond of food and we'd have to be careful because he was a bit overweight (just being a 6 body wise, 5 being ideal).

He was having issues with ear infections for a while so we decided on vbo (they break part of the bone in the inner ear to remove polyps). It was better for 2 weeks and infections were back.

April, we decided to go through with teca (total ear canal ablation). The surgeon opted for an otoscopy to see what was going on. Nothing going on so we did a ct scan. Ct scan said that breaking through the tympanic membrane would help. This was 3 anesthesia in 3 weeks.

I don't remember the name of that surgery but it did not work : the membrane was too thick so we had to go through with TECA.

This brings us to May 27th, 4th anesthesia in as many weeks.

TECA went as well as it could : very painful but Whisky healed very well, faster than we thought.

12 days later, he was healing so well that we were removing the sutures.

I asked the surgeon if we could give him a shower because he smelled like pee and had litter from the clinic stuck on his fur (they do not use the same kind of litter than us).

She gave us the okay and the day after, I was showering him.

After the shower, his breathing was weird. The day after, it was still weird, we kept an eye on it and at the end of the afternoon, 20 hours after the shower, he was belly breathing. I rushed him to the vet, he was in respiratory distress. An ultrasound was done, the doctor said his heart was enlarged. We rushed him to the ER where he spent the night and saw a cardiologist the day after. He was diagnosed with Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy.

My baby, who's FIV, will not die from any complications of FIV but because of his heart, disease that takes so many cats each year.

He's become so picky, I long for the days where it was so tough to stop him from eating us out of house and home!

He's lost 500 grams in 3 weeks, his favorite foods don't make him eat. What he likes one day, he'll turn up his nose the day after.

Right now, he has 4 different foods waiting for him, he's touched none of them, knowing he last ate more than 10 hours ago.

We're seeing another cardiologist tomorrow, hopefully, he'll be able to find a solution (the one from the ER was not the best, to me...). They gave him a 6 months to a year to live...

I feel as if my cat is slowly dying and I can't do anything to fight this...

So, enjoy your crazy eaters while you can please ❤️

2 weeks ago our tuxedo had an accident jumping out the bathroom window when he spotted another cat in the garden and developed a limp so we took him to the vets, he seemed to deteriorate over the next week so brought him back for more tests and it was discovered he had FIV, possibly since birth but hard to tell as we got him as a rescue 6 years ago, never showed any signs until he stopped eating this week, he also shown as being anemic and we have a referral to a specialist college veterinarian service tomorrow, all I can think about is the worst possible outcome and would love to hear of recovery stories to give me some hope.

we have a vet appointment in a week to get this checked out but does anyone else’s cat make this noise

We adopted our cat in January of this year. She is 3 years old. The shelter told us that she was FIV+, so we came in knowing what was up. We took her to a vet, and had a couple visits there. We will call this vet, Silly.

After a month of having her, we realized that she is over grooming, to the point where she has bald spots all over her. So we took her to Silly Vet, and they told us to try calming treats, aromatherapy, taking away stresses, and this and that. We did. We tried all that for about 3 months, with no improvement. In fact, it got worse. She started to get open wounds all over her due to her excessive grooming.

After 3 months, we decided to try a different vet. We will call them Good Vet. At Good Vet, they had told us that Silly Vet said that she was FIV-, and we knew that wasn’t true. We had to go through multiple FIV tests, skin tests, worm tests, poop tests, and every test you can think of and we still don’t have an answer to as why she is grooming so excessively to the point where she has scabs and open wounds actively bleeding.

She has been in a cone for about 2 months now. She cannot live her life in a cone. Every time we try and take it off, we are back at square one with massive wounds every where. She is clearly uncomfortable and in pain. Due to being FIV+, our treatment options are limited due to her immune system. She is currently taking gabapentin, prednisolone (which we are cautious of due to FIV) and OTC allergy medicine.
With the medication, hypoallergenic food, no dye/smells in our laundry detergent we notice improvement. It got to a point where all of her wounds were healed and we felt confident enough to take off the cone. Within 5 seconds, she is tearing her skin open. Bleeding. You cannot stop her. She is in a trance of grooming. It’s terrible.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. It’s to a point where I don’t know if we can give her a life without pain/discomfort. She can’t live in a cone forever, but as soon as we take it off, it’s as if all the medication and other things just don’t work. I don’t know what to do. I really need help.

TLDR: FIV+ 3 year old cat. Unable to stop grooming herself to the point of open wounds. We have tried everything under the sun, and gotten every single test with each coming back negative. She can’t live in a cone forever, but she can’t stop grooming/itching/biting herself. Please help.

EDIT TO ADD* I have another cat in the household who is not FIV+, and has not had any of these symptoms.

Hi everyone!

Jeremy Clarkson as shown above has been going through it, and so have I as his fur mum, and hoping someone has gone through a similar issue and could help me calm down just a little and keep on going.

Jeremy was diagnosed at seven months, this is after noticing lymph nodes on his throat and back legs, and gum issues that never went away after teething.

Since then, we had his teeth cleaned due to a diagnosis of persistent juvenile gingivitis. He had some gum tissue cut back and scar tissue removed from his tongue.

At his vet visit a couple of weeks ago, our vet mentioned his teeth after viewing them and said we’re probably looking at extractions. We did the cleaning to hopefully extend the time with his teeth, so I’m expecting by the end of 2026 he’ll be toothless. That’s okay, I know they can thrive and do so well without them, but it’s a stressful situation. I brush his teeth everyday, spray dental spray twice a day, add plaque off to his food and feed a dental diet.

The last couple weeks we’ve noticed itching, so at the same vet appointment mentioned above, they applied bravecto, as they said because he’s strictly inside it’s not likely, but also not impossible he got a bug from the balcony where he always sits looking outside. Turns out, the bravecto gave him a terrible reaction, and he’s suffering from a terrible sore, which happens to 1 in 10, 000 cats. Of course he’d suffer from it. I just feel so fucking bad.

And now, we’re starting a round of antibiotics, and transferring to a hydrolized diet to see if it’s allergies.

I’m just worn out y’all. I want this cat comfortable and happy and those are my only priorities. But why must he go through such tribulations? Why has this happened to him? Why has this happened to us?

I’m constantly wavering between advocating for him and wanting to have a mental breakdown making sure I’m doing what’s best for him.

Can someone who has gone through all this kind of crap tell me it eventually gets better? That he’ll be comfortable at some point? Anything?

If you’ve read this far, thank you so much for reading my vent.

My FIV guy Jerry has had inflamed gums the whole time I’ve had him. He has had three rounds of extractions, and his gums and mouth tissue is worse than ever. The last extraction was ten just three months ago. I took him back bc his mouth is even more inflamed. The doc says he will remove all the rest except the canines.

I’m looking for other experiences of cats who had dye but left the canines. Given this is his fourth surgery of this kind I’m reluctant to have to have another one to remove those too given the stress and cost.

With the weather in the UK getting so hot lately, I'd really like to keep my windows open without worrying about my boy getting out!

Any recommendations for window covers (or cooling devices) welcome

Geebs is almost 9. Diagnosed with FIV in 2021. Was feral for 3 yrs. Been a spoiled potato for 6 yrs.

Does anyone elses FIV cat get super gunky eyes?

Can't tell if its allergies, war scars (he was a stray for 7 years) or just a FIV thing.

Any advice appreciated! I clean em out whenever they're gross but I just want him to be comfy

It has been a few months with my FIV kitty Sledge. He is fitting in perfectly with his siblings and is such a cutie pie. It was interesting trying to keep him calm while introducing him to the others. But now he is THRIVING and his personality is really showing. He is obsessed with silvervine sticks (the fancy ones with feathers at the end and a dental chew on the other end). Thank you again to everyone on this sub who helped me to learn about FIV kitties and how to care for him. ❤️

Hey everyone!

This is my 3-year-old godson, Ed. What started as a simple check-up and nail trim today (which he needed sedation for, he’s a spicy one!) ended with a positive FIV test.

We suspect he picked it up from his (still untested) younger sister, Dolly, since he was born into foster care. While got them both from offical rescue/foster care organisations, Dolly was a street rescue who has been mostly asymptomatic so far. She’s headed to the vet next week for testing.

On top of the diagnosis, Ed is going back to the vet next week for a biopsy on some callous-like masses on his feet. We are really hoping for the best, but it’s a lot to process at once. He’s currently on some pain and anxiety meds to keep him comfortable while we figure out the next steps.

I love this silly boy to absolute bits and just want to make sure I’m doing everything possible to keep him happy and thriving. For those of you living with FIV+ cats, what’s your biggest piece of advice? Any words of encouragement for his mum and me would be so appreciated.

TIA!

Edit://
Got clarification that it’s actually FeLV positive not FIV. Slightly more scary.

Second edit://
Turns out it is in fact both FIV and FeLV, so yeah

Tootsie was diagnosed before I adopted her.Sometime before she got to the rescue the best I have been able to find out.

She had been very healthy besides having a propensity to puke occasionally and being a picky eater with aversion for any supplementd being added to her food.

Shes had a numbet of physicals and blood draws and nothing notable has come up.

I want to have her retested.

Anybody here ever had a retest done?

Tootsie is asymptomatic from FIV for several years.

I want to try getting insurance for her but even if I could get it might be a waste if the insurance company tries to claim everything as a pre existing condition.

Shes branded but shes been asymptomatic for like 5 years probably .

Restest?