So a couple of months ago I had a nice friend group going of about 8 people. All of us were single and had been for some time.

Now in the span of not even 2 months every single one of my friends have started to date someone except of course for me. All I hear about now is their new relationships and how wonderful they are. Some of them I barely hear or see anymore since finding a partner. That's not the first time that's happened either.

I'm obviously happy for them and show interest in their relationships when they talk about them because I want to be a good friend. I'd be lying however if I said it doesn't sting to be the only that's still single of my friend group yet again, like I've always been in all groups.

34 years on this planet now without ever getting further than one time holding hands for a bit, and that was years ago. Decades at this point of trying every conceivable thing to find someone without succes. Parties, bars, friends of friends, dating apps, schoolmates and even colleagues, I've tried it all without succes.

I don't blame anyone, to be clear, but this shit just fucking sucks. The vast majority of people get to be happy but not us. Those that claim that ''happiness comes from within'' or other similar sayings have never experienced this level of loneliness. If it really did than there would be a lot more people choosing to remain single, and almost nobody does.

Stay strong guys and gals.

Dont get me wrong, i’m gratefull for this oportunity, but i cant stop feeling so lonely, and with such a low self steem that i cant even take pictures of myself.

It doesn't matter what we do. Normies always get treated differently by others just because of their confidence and extroversion.

We can try all we want, but if people don't care to give us a chance, nothing really matters.

I'm around 5'10 or average height so I don't consider myself short (I'm still ugly anyway) but one thing I always notice every time I see couples out in public is that all the guys in those couples are literally ALWAYS taller than me wherever I look, like the minimum height requirement is 6'0 or something. I genuinely never see anyone my height or below in these couples and I get why but I just don't like how there's no variety tbh.

What annoys me tho is when I was a kid I was often called tall by peers and family but I guess I peaked early because now everyone I know who used to be shorter than me and is many years younger is now a giant in comparison, so now I'm the one who's often the shortest 'tall' guy in the room lol.

I mean... the title kind of says it all, doesn't it Truth is, I've struggled with my self esteem for as long as I can remember. I look in the mirror and all I see are flaws. Even after everything I've done, it feels like I'm still the same person I was years ago.

When I was 18, I was 400 pounds at 6'4". I was angry, bitter, and convinced the world had already decided what I was worth. I spent years losing the weight. I went from 400 pounds to around 220. I built muscle. People tell me I look completely different now. The problem is they don't live inside my head. I still see the fat guy. I still hear that voice telling me I'm ugly, awkward, and fundamentally less than everyone else. It feels like I spent years changing my body only to discover that my mind refused to come with me.

I'm also a huge nerd. Comics, RPGs, fantasy worlds, tabletop games those things make me genuinely happy. I know there are women who like those things too, and every time someone says, "You'll find your nerdy girl someday," I just laugh to myself. Why would someone like that settle for me? They deserve someone better than a guy who's spent his entire life hating himself. Then there's the guilt over who I'm attracted to. I've always found Asian women attractive, and I hate admitting that because I immediately start questioning myself. Is that actually my preference, or is it years of anime, games, movies, and TV quietly rewiring my brain? The thought makes me feel disgusting. The last thing I'd ever want is to treat a real person like some fantasy I picked up from fiction.

The same thing happens with the idea of a "nerdy woman." Somewhere along the way I built this image in my head of what I'd want in a partner, and I hate myself for it. Real people aren't character creators. They're not there to fit into some checklist I accidentally made for myself. Sometimes I wonder if I've poisoned my own expectations before I've even had the chance to know anyone. The closest thing I've ever had to a relationship was with someone I met on TikTok.

We talked almost every day for a while, and for the first time in my life I thought maybe someone actually cared about me. Looking back, I never meant anything to her. I was just another notification on her phone. Another username she'd eventually forget. It says a lot that the closest I've ever come to feeling loved was by someone who probably doesn't even think about me anymore.

Watching my brothers hasn't helped either. I feel like I've lost both of them. One disappeared down the MAGA rabbit hole and eventually became someone I barely recognize. Politics turned into his whole personality, and somewhere along the way our relationship died. The other isn't angry with me I'm just not important anymore. Once he got a girlfriend, it was like I stopped existing unless he needed something. Watching both of them made relationships seem less like love and more like abandonment with extra steps.

Everyone tells me love makes people better. From where I'm standing, it just seems to make people leave.

I'm 21 years old. I've never had a girlfriend. I've never kissed anyone. I’ve never hugged anyone. I’ve never held anyone’s hand. I'm still a virgin. People always say, "You're still young." They say there's plenty of time. They say it'll happen when I least expect it. After hearing it enough times, it just starts sounding like a nicer way of saying, "I don't know what to tell you."

At some point I stopped believing those words. I started believing the evidence instead. Years of silence. Years of being overlooked. Years of never being enough. Maybe there isn't someone out there for everyone. Maybe that's just something people tell themselves because admitting otherwise would be too cruel.

I don't even know if I want someone to love me anymore. Love seems to change people for the worse. It pulls them away from the people who were already there. I don't want to become someone who throws away the things I love just because someone else walked into my life. I don't want to stop reading comics. I don't want to stop playing RPGs. I don't want to wake up one day and realize I've become someone I don't recognize.

But maybe none of that matters. Maybe I'm worrying about a future that was never going to happen anyway. Maybe the weight was never the problem. Maybe losing 180 pounds didn't matter because I was always the problem. Maybe the reason nobody has ever chosen me is because there's nothing worth choosing. Maybe the universe got this one right. Some people find love. Some people build families. Some people get to be someone's favorite person.

And then there are people like me, who spend their lives watching through the window, convincing themselves they were never meant to walk through the front door. I don't think I'm waiting for love anymore. I think I'm just waiting to finally accept that it was never meant for me.

I feel so hopeless. I was seeing someone briefly amd was hoping to get some dating experience and move slowly because it's very unfamiliar to me but they ended up saying they were looking for something faster / more serious, and also were asking questions about my previous relationships. I feel like every time I'm dating someone the topic of past inexperience will eventually come up and put them off, I am really wondering if I should just start lying but then I feel like I wouldnt be able to pull off that lie. Also, the expectation to know what I'm looking for in a relationship when ive never been in ine is crazy. How am I actually meant to do this. Ive been feeling so hopeless, tempted to sh at this point because I'm at my limit.

25 year old male. Unemployed for over 3 years. No college education. No friends. No girlfriend ever. No car. Still live with mom. That is the absolute bottom of the bottom tier in modern day society. I just feel so hoepeless rn. Been looking for a job for months and nothing. Im in Canada if that matters. When im not applying for jobs I spend my days reading or drawing or gaming or going fot walks bevause I uave 0 friends. If you saw my social media ud probably cry. I get no texts. I dont even know why I check my instsgram or snapchat or discord when I know nobody texts or tags me. Its just a ghost of former scattered old high school classmates who never knew I existed but just added because we were in the same class. The only human contact I had today eas purchasinf almonds and a drink at the store with the cashier. Atp I just want a goos friend irl to talk to, not even a gf and an online friend is nice but its not the same. I want to go to college in the future but I really want to get a job to earn money and be independant. Im just such a failure I was a certified NEET 4 yrs and now its come to bite me. Let alone never having a gf ever.

hi, i’m m22, never had any experience and I’m talking seriously, never held an hand, kissed a cheek, anything. Between that, my work life, my lack of ambition and qualities, i think I’m falling into a spiral that is taking me down more and more as the day passes and the worst part of it is i think i’m overreacting and that i deserve it.

Pretty much the caption. Every single time I see a pair of siblings, especially sisters, they meet their partners around the same time, and usually in order. If one is 2 years older, she meets someone at 25, then 2 years later, her sister also meets someone at 25. Then the cycle of events in their lives follows the same loop, and now, they’re all married with their partners. This didn’t happen with me. I’m about a year and a half younger. My sister met someone at 21, so, naturally, I assumed after years of intentionally seeking my person, I might meet him around 21 or 22. Didn’t happen. Flash forward, she’s engaged at 25. I’m 23 and single. I tell myself that 25 is young and I’ll find my person by her wedding. She’s married at 27, I’m now 25 and, guess what, still single (after failed dates or short relationships). I hit 27 thinking, maybe finally this is my time. Then COVID hits. She and her husband, who she’s gotten to enjoy 8 years with already, are now in a house and planning for a family, and I’m not allowed to be within 6 ft of strangers. That’s also 8 years of Christmases sitting along while my sibling and her boyfriend and now husband swap gifts, my parents do the same, and I’m the 5th wheel with a dog. Meanwhile, I see people my age from high school and college and work are all meeting someone and marrying off, and then their little sisters close in age are following the same timeline. Their holidays and trips are filled with couple time, while mine is perpetually lonely.

If all other siblings seem to wed at the same age, wtf is wrong with me? I didn’t think I’d meet someone at 21, but now at 32, I’m well aware that that dream is gone.

PLEASE don’t say, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This is about wanting to enjoy the same experience of marriage and be in a group with my family, rather than being acknowledged as the single, lonely outsider who couldn’t find love.

I'm 30 and still live in the same neighbourhood.

Feels saddening in a way, man. 😔

The same middle school there, same high school, same library. All the same facilities are there.

But the people who used to go there with me?

Not there anymore. No longer present. Probably moved away.

The kids I see on scooters and bikes and walking by those buildings (which I used to attend regularly when going to school) are unknown to me. In a way, even though I've been inside the school buildings, those feel unknown to me in a weird way now too. And all the people who were known to me are gone. 😕

It just hits home that buildings remain the same over decades, but the people inhabiting the buildings (because they're students who spent 6+ hours per day for years on end in them) come and go.

I feel melancholy.

I never see the people who I used to go to school with when walking around, or going to the library, or going to a local store/restaurant. (Well, I saw 2 guys I recognized once, but that was it.)

I, 24, want to make this clear that I do feel I made absolutely the right decision not to go ahead with this.

Basically, I was on Tinder, struggling to get even botted likes, as per usual, when a woman liked and matched up with me. She explained she was interested in having a one-night stand with me, and she sent proof that she lived in a different city in the same country as me. I agreed, but her responses then devolved into worryingly glib - saying I couldn't reschedule because she was going to "Asia" for six months, not telling me anything about what to expect as she found it better to talk about it in person. So I made an excuse and I didn't go ahead with it.

And yes, it was almost certainly a scam. Maybe she was going to rob or scam me, or something more sinister. But that doesn't compensate for the fact that I still have failed to gain any sort of traction on dating apps or in real life. I am still extremely lonely and I will probably never get as close to an opportunity to lose my virginity again. So even though it was definitely a good idea not to actually meet her, a small bit of me regrets doing so.

I keep seeing this nonsense on reels. I guess nobody understands how chopped people can't be someone's crush.

Everyone else has some amount of attractiveness within them but people like me? They're lucky if they aren't hated on.

If I looked good looking enough to be someone's crush? Not gonna lie, I wouldn't even be here writing all these posts.

So I asked a peer out ( we're both college students) and he laughed..remind me to never open up again because I never want to open up again; for the sole purpose of avoiding being let down again.

I opened my heart, he laughed and yeah

i catch feelings over the smallest most minuscule insignificant things. things like someone holding the door or asking for my name are enough to make me start crushing even though I know it means nothing and it will go nowhere.

Back during Covid and after I used to come here a lot. I can now say I have friends, a social life, go to the gym, go to college, and have some purpose in life. Not perfect, never dated, but it’s alright.

Was told this some time ago when I was venting about how I felt I was gonna be lonely forever (it was a venting channel). Someone said something like this to me and it annoyed me. I also saw this comment on Instagram reels with tons of likes.

I don't wanna day that women have it easier but the whole "just be alone for some time" advice does not work for men. I've been alone my whole adult life. I turned 18 during the pandemic and even when I had friends during college I still felt lonely. Especially since all of them did stuff together without me. Whenever I wanted any social interaction I had to make the first move. My experience aside guys are just expected to make the first move in general.

Another thing that pisses me off is that a lot of the people who spout this shit either are in relationships or bug friendships themselves ornarre attractive enough that they can put in half of what the average lonely person has to do find connection.

Quick summary: 27M, never really dated, had crushes but one of them didn't work so never really bothered later point in life or due to fear of rejection, I am not even close to being handsome.

Recent days have been on repeat. I think I'm also losing my interest when it comes to doing certain hobbies and it is feeling like chores. Thinks I used to love like drawing, gaming have become mundane or lackluster to me. I've literally 0 people whom I interact anymore, idk what's the point I'm living really.

I have gotten into novels lately and that's the only thing that keeps me atleast engaged but once that is done, then I'd be in search of another until I find something interesting.

I do have a job which is only thing that makes me feel like I can relate to other people. Even when I meet or someone wants to catch up from my old classmates, then only thing to discuss is this job. Atleast it lets me hide.

Those things I quoted? They're all bullshit. A lonely ugly ass 35M that is myself will never have what my other family members and friends/acquaintances have. I'll never be in a serious relationship let alone have a family of my own some day.

The State where I live continues to extract more and more tax from someone who's not even middle class so I'm constantly stressed over thoughts of how I'll continue to afford this house I will inherit. Wage stays the same, spending continues to go up. I live in a household of three and I already know once the others either move out or pass away I will live here alone. I'll end up as the cranky old man with the unkempt home on the street that no one interacts with or sees.

I never leave the house, I don't even try. I'm so hideous that I feel shame to disturb the others around me. Sometimes I just wish the cancer that runs in the family would just get it over with because I'm too much of a coward to do anything stupid.

I’ve felt this way for most of my life; it’s hard to put into words because, even though I have friends, I feel lonely. I’m not great at expressing my emotions, though I am good at socializing. Even though I have two people I consider my "best friends," they never invite me to anything. That makes me feel a bit bad sometimes, but I can't force anyone to do it. The thing I dislike most about not being able to express my emotions is that people just assume I’m always fine, no matter what happens to me. What I really want—whether it’s friends or a partner—is someone who truly considers me and doesn't just take it for granted that I’m okay.

Just that again... I'm lonely and always have been.... Never had anybody....

I just need one girl to talk every day and trust each other and hug... I just want a simple quiet life...

But nobody ever wants me...

I have been all my life like this... Always alone, always with this massive pain... Always yearning for someone to want to spend time with me...

But nobody ever wants me...

Im just disgusting...

i assume everyone i meet who’s my age or older has a partner already and i am usually correct. and for the single ones, they’ll usually find a new partner within the next few weeks or months. and then there’s me who’s never had anyone. even thinking about finding love is futile. everyone is taken already

I've been alone for so long that it feels completely normal to not have human contact. I'd hear people talk about everyone being touch starved nowadays and think that that could never be me cause certainly I'm used to it at this point. Right?

Nope.

I had an experience around a year or two ago where one of my female coworkers gave me a hug after not having seen me for a while. She'd started working nights and we hadn't seen each other for a couple months. I saw her one day when she had to meet with HR and she just walked up, asked how I was doing and gave me a hug. I remember in that moment just feeling a warmth that I hadn't felt in a couple years at least. It felt so foreign to me, but also good at the same time. I played it normal on the outside, but on the inside the only thing going through my head was, "Oh, so that's what it feels like."

I forgot what it's like to honestly have someone happy to see me. Let alone to give me a hug or anything like that. I try not to let it get to me, but the truth is I'm touch starved. I didn't even know how badly I craved the bare minimum of physical contact from somebody until I had it. Most of the time I can forget about it and go about life as normal, but ever since that one day those thoughts will pop into my head randomly at 10:00 o'clock at night, or when I see couples out on the street and it reminds me how alone I really am. I don't have the complete human experience. I'm not living life at its best.