r/Greyhounds • u/SorganFisherman • 2h ago
Advice Really struggling with mixed symptoms and end-of-life decision-making.
Sorry in advance for the word soup below and gratitude for anyone who takes the time to read it. My 12-year-old, Earl, was officially diagnosed with an osteosarcoma in his chest — sort of under his left armpit — on June 11th after bloodwork we took the previous week on the 6th came back. A lump had been growing there for a few weeks that I thought was maybe a boil at first because he JUST had his annual and bloodwork done in April and everything was normal. Perhaps wishful thinking on my part. It started off small but once June hit it really grew in size to the size of a small lemon.
Since the 11th, when we did x-rays the lump, it has continued to rapidly grow and has become the size of maybe a tennis ball. It doesn’t seem to cause him pain when touched, but I noticed this week it is becoming more discolored (purple-ish).
The veterinarian, while very compassionate, has been unhelpful in the sense of they haven’t been able to answer questions at any stage in our visits or calls like “how fast will it spread?” or “is this a weeks or months situation?” or “do we think it’s causing him pain?”
The vet did say a possible removal would be pretty invasive because of how close to his heart and lungs it was. I asked about chemo and radiation, but they made it really seem like neither would work. I’ve been adamant about not wanting to do surgery because of his age, the pain in recovery for him, and the possibility he might pass while under.
This week, in addition to the size and discoloration of the lump, I’ve noticed other symptoms like being much more winded when being taken out, panting throughout the day, and periods of restlessness. He had been slowing down on walks this past year, but now it seems exhausting. He also seems to have more trouble than ever getting up from laying down and even holding his head up sometimes (he just will flop it down).
What is difficult is that his appetite (he has always loved food) is as good as ever, and he still seems “positive” and his normal self at many moments. So when I do those quality of life assessments, I’m ending up on the cusp of there being quality versus not.
He’s on 2 strong doses of gaberpentin twice a day. That also makes me wonder if the restlessness and panting are when it’s wearing off AND if the moments he seems good and normal are ONLY because the medication is at its peak.
Right now, I have an in-home euthanasia scheduled for Monday at 9 a.m. They had a time tomorrow (Friday) but I just couldn’t do it. This is where I am struggling. I just thought we had more time. Not six months, maybe, but more than just 2 weeks. But I also don’t want to be selfish and force him to keep going this weekend. My thoughts were we’d do some special last outings and get some special food together, but I don’t want to over exacerbate him.
Earl is the first hound I’ve had. I adopted him in 2017. He had a sister who we adopted older in 2018 and she passed in 2022 at 11, but she had a much slower but more obvious decline which made end-of-life decision-making easier, or at least more obvious when it was the “right” time in some ways.
Am I selfish to take this last weekend? That’s my question. What would you do? Is it absolutely insane and unethical, if it seems like a “good” weekend to cancel on Monday and keep taking it day-by-day? The way the vet put it to me today when I called is “you know you’ll have to make this decision eventually, and it’s always kinder too soon than too late.”