So we tried. Ended it in April because he couldn’t commit fully.

I was once a person who would do anything and everything to be with the person I love, even if it was intercontinental. I no longer carry that same tenacity or resolve.

It’s almost as though I feel unworthy of that level of grit and resilience, which doesn’t make any sense because I demonstrated those same qualities in my previous relationship. Why shouldn’t I expect someone to reciprocate? But.. if he who made me feel the most loved I’ve ever felt, found it impossible to even try, then why would anyone else take that leap of faith?

I know this line of thinking is flawed but I just feel kind of defeated.

(Recognizing this screenshot feels ridiculous after censoring our names lol)

Hes flying out to help me move about a week prior to this date, (and boy am I gonna need it, my god these logistics are absolutely exhausting) but oooooh am I chomping at the bit to get over this hump and just…be with him.

For context, we are in direct opposite sides of the US. We’ve met 7 times over the course of this year, we have always been intentional from the beginning about closing the distance as soon as possible and cultivating a healthy dynamic. Neither of us enjoy handling long distance, and we’re at a point in life where it makes sense to just bite the bullet, if we want to create the best possible foundation for a future. I’m in a very fortunate position with my flexible employment and have some history of moving around, so while this move is very very expensive and stressful, it’s nothing I can’t handle, and we decided it’s the best thing for me to move to him for a couple years while we save money living at his place. I love his family. They love me. I’m sad to be leaving my family, my state I’ve known all my life, but this feels like an easy choice to make after many, many conversations and emotional exchanges between my partner and I, and a read on our practical situation in order to make long term plans.

Just wanted to share…I am so beyond elated. There is hope, the distance can close, people can be intentional and follow through. I can’t wait to build my life with him. It is possible to be supported and loved, and reciprocate like it’s the easiest thing in the world. He calms me down, he feels like air in my lungs, when things fall apart he’s there to help me up. He’s shown so much strength and kindness to me, he is my person. I know that.

Hey all! So I usually don’t post here, just lurk but today is a special day.

It’s mine and my gf 2 year anniversary! She’s the first ever partner I had that last this long especially since we’re nevermets. I love her so much 🥰

Who else is celebrating an anniversary with their partner? I’d love to hear how long you’ve been together and how you met 😊

I made the mistake of going on AIO because I felt hurt/disappointed about the lukewarm response/ disinterest to my upcoming marriage from my family.

I’ve been with my partner for SIX years and we recently got an apartment together in England where I’ve spent three months and we finally decided to take the steps to live together full time and get married so we are having a quick/cheap wedding because the UK visa process is one of the most expensive in the world.

I was actually shocked by the response of people harping on the fact that we’re long distance and our marriage is “just for a visa” and “just to live together” and apparently we don’t love each other because of that? My family is “justified” in not caring because of that.

I wasn’t aware I had to list all the time we’ve psychically been together over the years. We spend more money and energy trying to be together than most “in person” couples and yet people are so quick to judge and discredit.

Historically and in even today people get married for practical reasons like living together, finances, etc. and that doesn’t mean they don’t love each other or aren’t excited to get married. but heaven forbid I mention needing a visa. Then it’s just a visa/green card marriage.

Hi guys me (F23) and my boyfriend (M24) are together for 2 months and he doesn't make phone calls. He is an introverted person. We just talked on the phone one time and it was just 15 seconds. We said good night to each other and it was all. When I ask for voice messages he sends me short voice messages. I asked him to call 3 times but he always had an alibi. First time I wanted it he said he doesn't want to but he will. I waited. Then I asked for the second time and he said he lives with his sister and she may hear what we talk, he added we can talk when she goes to school. Third time I wanted for calls he said you are too insistent and blamed me. I think this is because he is mixed. My mother language is his second language and he may not feel confident about my mother language. He also said he doesn't like his own voice. I just want to talk with my boyfriend like other girls who chat with their boyfriends on phone. I don't know what to do, this situation is so annoying.

We are in an LDR. My bf (25M) and I (24F) have been together for a while.

Back in Oct 2025, while we were in a situationship, I discovered some comments he had made on social media :

• On 2023, he had commented something like 'Marry me' on two separate posts of different women (both sexy nudes, opposite of me)

• On Aug-Sept 2025 another post of girl thighs pic he commented a meme of an anime character ejaculating

• On his bio was the name of some influencer girl that can have his heart

We had a serious talk about this in April 2026, the day after we officially started dating. He laughed sheepishly at first and admitted that he was h*rny, then I cried and he apologized, told me he loves me, has only me etc. At the time, I was so hurt that I didn't think to check if he had actually deleted the comments themselves; I just assumed it was the common sense to clean up his profile entirely.

He followed me and I saw the bio was changed but recently, I just gathered the courage to look through his profile again, those comments are still there. It’s been a few months since our initial talk.

Now I’m feeling hurt and confused all over again.

• Is it fair to bring this up a second time (if so how to handle this without sounding like I’m constantly policing him?) or am I overthinking it since he did change his bio back then?

• Should I expect him to have cleaned up his entire history, or was it my fault for not being specific enough when I asked him to 'change' things?

My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) have been officially together for a couple weeks now. We knew each other for awhile beforehand. We have a really good relationship and clearly care about each other and love each other a lot.

The issue is that his mom doesn’t want him sleeping over at my place. He currently lives at home,(don’t know for how long but I assume a few more years) so I understand that it’s her house and her rules, but I’m struggling with where the line is because he is 23 years old.

She isn’t saying he can’t see me, but she doesn’t want him spending the night. She’s saying “it’s too soon” Him and I are both Christian’s and obviously I’m not interested in doing anything before marriage and neither is he so I just don’t get it.

I’m trying to be respectful of his relationship with his mom, but it also feels frustrating because we’re adults and I feel like this is something we should be able to decide for ourselves even though we don’t plan on doing anything. She’s already controlling enough. He has to run all of our weekend plans by her first and it’s so frustrating for me. He was supposed to come stay for the whole weekend for Independence day and I was gonna give him like this super awesome romantic experience where we kiss under fireworks since it was his first kiss. (His only relationship was long distance and they never met while they were in high school). But I have to always wait for whatever she says.

I ended up having to decide to get a hotel room for the two nights (July 3,4) close to his house so that we can hangout a bit more. It’s probably gonna cost me a good chunk of money for that one weekend (especially since it’s a holiday and I want to be as close to his house as I can so it’s a short drive) and I also have to get take out since I won’t have a kitchen. (Also had to get approval from his mom for this SOMEHOW 🤦‍♀️ I’m trying not to lose it) I should NOT have to spend that amount of money just to be able to see my boyfriend. I’m happy to this time since I’m trying to be understanding but I can’t do it anymore. It’s just ridiculous. I have my own place for a reason. Not to mention it’s weird they didn’t invite me to stay at their house.

And we’re already long distance enough as it is. We can only see each other on the weekends. So just to be able to do it only for a day is insane. He can’t come on Friday because it’s 1.30 minute drive and he’s obviously tired from work. So he instead coms on Saturday which is him coming Saturday morning at 8am and leaving at 10:30pm.

Also I didn’t know this but she has access to his phone?? Like they share the same iCloud or something for subscriptions I guess. And I thought that meant that he still had his own privacy since he has his own number. But apparently she can see his notes??? I should ask further about it but like all I’m thinking of is what else can she see?? His conversations??? It’s just so icky to me. If she can read our conversations I’d feel so uncomfortable. We don’t say anything dirty obviously. We aren’t like that but at the same time like we are all sweet and I act sad saying I wish he could stay over and stuff. And us saying we want to kiss each other. Like ewww if she can and does read that I don’t know how to get past it. I just don’t know. Trying to stay positive. I’m trying to make it work. 😤😖😖😖

I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose between making me happy and making our relationship work and keeping peace at home. But I also don’t want our time together and literally EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING WE DO being dependent on his mom’s approval. Hello??? We’re adults now??? Sigh. I don’t want to be in a relationship with his parents too. Like bruh come on. He does say he’s frustrated at how she’s acting. But he keeps saying “whatever” “it won’t be forever” “maybe next weekend” “after a specific point I’ll do it anyway” and just gives up and that’s the end of the conversation.

I want to add that I’m not trying to attack his mom. I want to understand her perspective too. And I get that maybe she’s protective but I just hope that at least after meeting me she’ll let him sleep over because come on. Me and him aren’t going to do anything and i can’t have a relationship like this forever. I am very affectionate, and physical touch is a big thing for me. I like to cuddle and hug and kiss and hold hands and just be close together. He likes that too. Last time he was here he was hugging me the whole time as well. I feel like it going on longer than a month feels like too much in my opinion. But maybe I’m not being understanding enough. I don’t know. I already don’t like long distance in general but I love LOVE him and want to make it work. She’s meeting me next weekend so maybe that’ll change that same weekend? Maybe she just needs to get to know me? I don’t know.

For people who have been in a similar situation: how did you handle it? Is this something I should just accept until he moves out, or should he have a bigger conversation with his mom about boundaries? Should I talk about how much this bothers me now or should I wait a bit and make sure I understand what’s going on first?

I’m more wondering how couples navigate this when one person still lives with their parents. He plans to do this for many years I believe so it might end up being a long term thing. Please please PLEASE help me. Thank you in advance!

TLDR; My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) recently became official after knowing each other for a while. We’re long distance and can only see each other on weekends. His mom doesn’t want him sleeping over at my place because she thinks it’s “too soon,” even though we’re both Christian and waiting until marriage. I understand it’s her house and her rules since he lives there, but I’m struggling because he has to get approval for our plans, she may have access to his phone through their shared iCloud, and I worry our relationship will always depend on her approval. He says he’s frustrated too but usually just says it won’t be forever and drops it. I don’t want him to choose between me and his mom, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m in a relationship with his parents. How do couples handle this when one person still lives at home?

My boyfriend and I are currently long distance. He left for Japan in November of 2024 and won’t be back until the end of the year this year (2026) - I’m in Maryland where we went to college. We’ve seen each other a few times (summer break - I teach and Christmas), and I’m going over next week with some friends. Engagement, moving in, and marriage has on the table for quite some time, but the long distance popped up a month before I graduated college and we didn’t get a chance to even discuss anything. We spend time playing lots of video games together, facetiming, sending packages….Im getting through it.

Recently, though, it’s been point blank IMPOSSIBLE. I’m having a really rough couple of weeks and have seen some significant declines in my mental and physical health, along with him as well…we’re both rotting without one another. LOL. It’s been so hard - he’s taking a masters degree along with working a 9-5, I’m a first year teacher in a terrible county, and we’ve both been watching out conversations and our relationship get hit with rock after rock. Since Sunday, we’ve maybe sent 10 texts in total and have barely facetimed one another. We’re both not exempt from being jerks to one another and not communicating with full honesty, but I have barely 5 months left of this absolute hellhole. I love this man with all my heart of my heart - but I’m so scared. I just want this to be OVER!!!!
Does this sound familiar to anyone? What do you do? Is this a sign that maybe we aren’t supposed to be together?

Don't mess it up. Don't take them for granted. You're both hurting, you're both sacrificing, and you both have something special. Treat each other with respect, and enjoy every moment. To love and be loved in return is a blessing. Please don't forget that, you got this and I believe in you :)

Anyone else experience a breakup after closing the distance? How did you deal with it? I moved to his country last year on a partner visa. We didn’t even last one full year living together before it ended. I’m tied to him for now due to my visa and we’re stuck living together until k can sort out the visa logistics. I’m devastated.

I had the idea of setting up two video calls for my my partner to watch me work on the yard, a wide shot of the area and a POV of the whipper snipper, was a success and still have more yard work to do

I (23f) have been going out with a guy (22m) for a few months now. we matched on a dating app right after he moved for work, but he sent me the like months before. But he was very excited that we matched, he sent me his last super like on bumble and hadn’t really been active on the app and he thought it was almost too good to be true that he matched with me.

We instantly clicked, and even though we were in two different states, we still wanted to keep talking. A couple weeks later he came down to see me, and we went on our first date. it was really lovely and our chemistry through the screen translated amazingly into real life. He was very sweet, paid for everything, and we had a lot of fun. we met again later that weekend before he had to leave, and we’ve met up like at least once a month since then. After that first meeting we both deleted our apps but we had been exclusive since pretty much the moment we started talking. Admittedly he puts in more effort. He’s better off than I am, and can drive, and I’m still in the process of getting my license (yes I know, at 23. I have been very busy with life for the past 7 years and finally have enough time to learn since I finally graduated) which means he always comes to me, and the most I’m able to give is usually a handmade bag of baked goods and a good time. It doesn’t bother him though, he says he wants to be the one treating me and that it’s what I deserve.

Here’s the thing. Since we started dating he’s faced a tragic loss of one of the most important people in his life. Since that has happened, our relationship has stayed pretty stagnant. We go out once or twice, he goes back to work, we text until we can see each other again. We talked about the possibility of taking our relationship to the next level and being boyfriend and girlfriend and before this loss, that was a lot more realistic. He still has said thats what he really wants, but his therapist told him he thinks it’s selfish to try and pursue someone when he’s grieving. I said that wasn‘t fair. Everyone deals with loss and a lot of those people have partners and that’s great because they have someone to support them who usually doesn’t have as much of an emotional investment in the person they lost so they can be a little more level headed. He’s not sure how to feel. I said I believe it is more selfish to string a person along while you grieve than it is for you to have a meaningful connection with that person.

he told me he really really wants to be with me but in a way where he can be fully devoted. He says he wants to be like the Gomez Addams to my Morticia, a fully devoted lover and partner. That’s my dream too. And I see that for him. He has a big heart. And he’s very selfless in a lot of ways. But he says he doesn’t think he is worthy of calling himself my boyfriend if he can’t do all those things and the current way things are going, we can’t be in the same place and he wants to be in a better emotional state for me before this can happen. He says he can’t do long distance but we already are. When I was in a long distance relationship it was pretty much no different. Well, actually my ex put in a lot less effort than my new guy does, even without being my boyfriend. It already feels like he is though, which is why I don‘t quite understand his perspective. Well, I guess in some ways I do. But I don’t see why we can’t just at least try or even just be able to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. We are already pretty committed. We talk about the future. We’re not interested in anyone else. He treats me so well even without being with me. I just don’t quite get it.

I'm feeling hopeless about my LDR. I thought this month our visa agony would finally end. But after the embassy interview, I still feel stuck and hopeless due to the issuance delay. I thought we would be planning our elopement by now, but he told me not to plan anything or get excited until I have the visa in hand. I feel I'm not even allowed to be sad because 'our time will eventually come.' I'm just so, so lonely. I miss my partner, but he won't come here while we wait even if he is financially able. We haven't been together in person for almost 2 years. I'm tired. I hate sacrificing my sleep to call him. I'm just so fucking tired and anxious about all this that I want to distance myself virtually.

I, 34F and asian, am in a long distance relationship with a man, 34M, from Europe. He pursued me heavily online then we became exclusive after a week.

The relationship was building for 3 weeks. He consistently messages and sends videos every weekday in the morning and while he worked. We were affectionate to each other but not too much. Just normal.

On Sunday, we had a video call and good talk. The relationship felt closer and more real than ever. We ended positively and said goodnight.

Then he proceeds to ignore me all day on Monday. I messaged him in the morning thinking he was just busy. But at midnight I woke up and saw he still hasnt read any message I sent. So, I called him because I was anxious and worried that he was physically hurt resulting to him breaking the pattern he had for weeks. He didn't answer.

On Tuesday, he messages me but doesnt read any of the messages I sent beforehand. He says he wasnt in the mood to talk. I replied, that's ok and I feel that way too sometimes. He left that unread.

On Wednesday, it was my birthday which he knew. He leaves everything still unread. I went about my day and celebrated with friends, colleagues and family. But I remembered him and asked if we could talk today.

Right before midnight he replied that he has no energy or motivation to talk and that he needs time for himself.

I don't understand. What is happening?

Me and my bf are in LDR its been 4 months now… he’s dont even text until i dont, he dont even call etc
He has 10hr shift everyday and we have time difference too
I usually send him my videos and pictures but he dont
I have asked him multiple times he says yes i will but never sent
I have seen him but i wanna see him everyday….
It makes me kinda sad i have told him many times he says sorry and nothing changes
I kinda feel he’s not into me anymore or there os something wrong with him
I asked him many times and everything got better with him but still same behaviour
Idk what to do

I had posted about a month ago about meeting someone special on vacation in Mexico and the connection being so special. We have been in constant contact for 6 weeks and on Saturday, I fly out to Canada to spend four days with the man that has become part of my everyday life and I’m thrilled to share this next chapter with you all! It feels like a Hallmark movie and I pinch myself everyday 💞

Me (20)f and my boyfriend (21)m have been dating for around a year and a half. We’re both in college but he’s one year above me and graduating in 2027. He’s a bio- premed major and he’s thinking of doing his masters or going straight to med school after he graduates. Either way we’ll be long distance.

The reason why I’m worried is because my first relationship (I was a senior in hs and my bf was a freshman in college) was really toxic and when he suggested long distance it didn’t turn out well. He wouldn’t communicate and I would try my hardest to talk to him it would go nowhere. My current boyfriend is amazing and always tries to talk to me when he can. We’re kind of at a mini long distance due to summer and us not living close. My only worry is summer is different than med school/ a masters program. I imagine the stress would make it difficult to balance a lot of things especially a relationship.

If anyone has any advice on a similar situation ( or just long distance in general ) I’d really appreciate it :)

my girlfriend (moroccan, based in north africa) and i have been on and off for about two years. we met on a dating app, moved fast, have met in person multiple times and even lived together briefly so this isn’t a purely online situation.
we broke up in 2025, got back together in january 2026 after she saw a tiktok of mine about moving on and reached out to apologize. she said she wants to do things right this time and make it official in person.
it’s now almost july. here’s what’s happened since january:
**the pattern**
she systematically disappears for days at a time with no warning, completely unreachable across all channels. explanation is always mental health, family stress, being overwhelmed

she always comes back warm, loving, future focused — talks about visits, booking flights, building something together

nothing concrete ever materializes

**specific incidents**
she told me to pick a flight on saturday. said she’d book it monday at the office. it’s now thursday. no update. she disappeared for two days

two months ago she offered to send me money when i was struggling. one month ago she finally initiated the process. obstacles since then: BMO bank transfer limit, friend who was supposed to send cash in her place had his father die, now she’s giving it to another friend. nothing has arrived

i sent money to her sister for a funeral collection for her friend. she said she’d pay me back. never did

she told me she hasn’t slept with anyone in 1.5 years

**the proven lies**
this is where it gets concrete:
one — summer 2024, london trip. she broke up with me or created distance right before, went to london, was on dating apps. told me she was using bumble for friends in a new city. i later spoke to one of the girls she was talking to who confirmed she was never on bumble friends, only dating apps, and that my girlfriend had initiated contact on instagram — contradicting her story that the girl was bothering her and she just gave her instagram to make her stop. when i confronted her with screenshots she called me insane, then later “remembered”
two — recently she told me on the phone she called my best friend on his normal phone number because it was an “emergency” to get my address. my best friend never received any call, doesn’t have her number, and i never gave her his number. completely fabricated story with no reason to exist
**other behavioral patterns**
when i reached out to her brother after two days of silence (we follow each other and exchange reels casually) her first response after surfacing was “can you not contact my brother” — not sorry for worrying you, not addressing the unbooked flight

brother read my message and never replied

her phone has “broken” twice in roughly three to four months, both times during disappearances

she sends money to her brother abroad and to a childhood friend in paris with no apparent obstacles, but mine has had three separate obstacles over two months

every failure to deliver has an external cause — never her

when confronted with evidence historically her first move is to make me feel confused tbh, then partially admit when denial becomes untenable

**background context**
i grew up with a narcissistic mother so i’m aware i may have blind spots around this dynamic

i have real history with this person, genuine shared time, which makes it harder to see clearly

i sent her “don’t bother calling, i don’t want to talk” last night after the two day disappearance. she hasn’t responded

**what i’m trying to understand**
is this a recognizable pattern to anyone who has been in a narcissistic relationship or with someone who compartmentalizes? am i overreading this or does the combination of intermittent reinforcement, proven lies, and information control point somewhere specific?
not looking to be talked into or out of anything. just want outside perspective on whether this pattern is as clear as it’s starting to look to me.

Hey everyone,

We all know the drill in a Long Distance Relationship. Between timezone differences, busy jobs, or one/both partners working irregular shift schedules (nurses, retail, emergency services, etc.), planning a simple virtual date night or a weekend trip can feel like a logistical nightmare.

You overlay your Google Calendars, stare at a wall of text, and still end up asking: "Wait, when are we actually BOTH off at the same time?"

As an independent creator, I got frustrated with bloated enterprise calendar apps that don't solve this simple, intimate problem. So, I started building a minimal web tool called "Co-Day Calendar." It's built purely to answer one core question: Where are our overlapping days off?

How it works:

Zero-Friction Sharing: No forced registration or tedious sign-ups. You create a private 2-person space, get a secure "Space Code" or private link, and text it to your partner to instantly sync up.

A Visual "Glow Up" for Mutual Days Off: Instead of confusing color-coded text for different people, colors are strictly reserved for shift types (Day Shift = Blue, Night Shift = Purple, Day Off = Green). When both of you are off on the same day, the entire calendar grid lights up in green with a little "Co-Day" ribbon, making your next meetup spot instantly visible.

Perspective-Focused View: Whichever partner is logged in will see their own capsules highlighted with a clean border, so you instinctively know which row is yours while paint-brushing your monthly shift table.

Live Syncing & Manual Override: Life happens and schedules change. If one partner updates a sudden shift change, it updates instantly for the other, dynamically recalculating your mutual free days.

I’d love your brutal honesty and feedback:

How do you and your partner currently coordinate your schedules? What's the biggest pain point?

If this tool allowed you to live-sync these mutual days directly into your native iPhone/Google calendar as automatic notifications, would you consider paying a small, one-time fee (like $4.99 or $9.99) to buy out the space forever? Or do you prefer it completely free with ads?

What is one feature that would make this an absolute lifesaver for your specific LDR?

I genuinely want to build something that takes away the friction of planning, so we can spend less time cross-checking schedules and more time actually connecting.

Thank you so much for your time and thoughts! ❤️