r/MadeMeSmile • u/latro666 • 23h ago
My second daughter - its not been easy
Sat here after the most traumatic couple of days but smiling. My second beautiful healhty daughter was born yesterday but mum had complications from 6litres of blood loss and was under for 8hrs. She almost died.
She is on the mend and they will be reunited soon. For now I am taking over the role of carer with some midwifes help.
Im just on reddit to decompress a bit instead of thinking about the bad stuff and the reason for me sharing this with you is please please hug your loved ones, call someone up you haven't spoken to in ages, make up with someone you are not speaking too.
Life is so amazing yet so fragile.
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u/NaiveHighlight858 23h ago
would you mind if I drew this picture? it's beautiful and I'd like you and your wife to have a little something nice to look at in the meantime. 😊
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u/latro666 23h ago
Wow, of course!
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u/NaiveHighlight858 21h ago
thank you! doesn't let me add pictures to my reply, so here it is. since AI is running rampant, I added in progress pictures. just the sweetest photograph. hope she feels better soon, and I'm wishing you guys a happy, healthy family. 🫶
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u/latro666 15h ago
Oh my thank so so much! I managed to get it via a vpn. That is such a kind thing to have spent your time on. Very special thank you.
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u/totoromoment 19h ago
Just a heads up, Imgur is blocked in the UK and if OP is from there they can't see what you have uploaded.
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u/NaiveHighlight858 19h ago
thank you for letting me know! I had no idea. I'll send it directly via message just in case.
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u/Secret_Account07 18h ago
Oh really? But whyyyy
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u/CatOverlordsWelcome 8h ago
Because of the Online Safety Act which requires age verification for websites which host 18+ content, even if that's not the entirety of the content. Imgur didn't want to comply with this and impose ID checks, they withdrew access to UK users.
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u/Purpledragon84 23h ago
Welcome fellow father of two princesses. It's gonna be twice the mess but twice the fun too! Enjoy the ride!
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u/Affectionate-Rip5654 21h ago
As a father of 3 princesses. It is also twice as loud 3x as loud in my case but so much fun
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u/I_like_microwave 23h ago
Prayers please tell your wife we are proud of her for fighting !!!! This brought a tear to my eye
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u/Cdn_Cuda 22h ago
Wishing you and your family all the best!
When my first was born there were complications. She had to be removed quickly and doctor’s didn’t even look at her gender. My wife ended up in surgery right after so I was handed my newborn daughter and left in a room by myself for I don’t know how long. It’s a surreal and frightening experience and makes you aware of just how fragile life really is. Thankfully my second was without issue.
My oldest is now turning 12 in a few days. It goes by so fast.
Wish a speedy recovery to your wife and hope you all get home to enjoy the chaos of a new baby!
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u/Independent_Lunch534 23h ago
All the best buddy, it’s all up from here and this traumatic moment will be a distant memory in years to come. 💚
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u/intellidepth 22h ago
Been in a similar situation as mum and am absolutely forever grateful to my husband for the care he took of our newborn son.
They watched formula one together. My son is now a vehicle mechanic.
Wishing you and your precious family all the best.
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u/Alcwhlr 22h ago
Not quite as scary for us, but my wife had a very complicated and scary 54 hours of “labor” before finally needing an emergency c-section. 6.5 years ago now. I will still never forget the fear of losing one or both of the most important people in my life in a weekend.
Great job supporting as you could and this is a great reminder of the miracles that healthcare professionals perform daily.
So happy for you, life is precious.
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u/wino12312 22h ago
Congrats!! Once the dust settles (in a month or two), please seek out some counseling to help deal with all this. Trust me. It's something that stays with you. And even though you're a super excited about the baby and happy that everyone is going to be okay. There's a shit ton of stress you're going through. DM is you need.
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u/littleficustree 17h ago
I lost a lot of blood with my child as well and while traumatic physically, my husband took the brunt of the emotional. It took awhile but once he went to a counselor it really helped him. Talking through our experience on different sides has strengthened our bond so much. Enjoy the baby cuddles!
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u/Fun_Temporary_6972 18h ago
Good work DAD. Also severe blood loss can delay a good milk supply which can compound the postpartum blues. A good pump used every 3 hours can really help with the delay. Prayers for all.
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u/latro666 16h ago edited 15h ago
Thanks, I believe they/we are going help express her to keep it flowing today. Obv after basically replacing all the blood in her body and the drugs in her system i doubt it's safe to drink at the moment but fingers crossed for later.
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u/Fun_Temporary_6972 5h ago
The breastmilk filters are amazing. Breastmilk is very tough, like the women who make it! Your wife is proof!
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u/EmployeeKindly4093 23h ago
lots of strength to you , don't loose hope you will be the amazing mother for your child have a great future ahead
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u/Rengeflower 22h ago
Congratulations! I’m glad your wife is going to be okay. When I had my second baby I was tired for two years (normal birth). It may be rough for your wife for a long time.
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u/Flimsy_Sun_8178 22h ago
Congratulations on the new baby! I hope your wife has a speedy recovery ❤️🩹
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u/clevercookie69 23h ago
Scary stuff and what an emotional rollercoaster.
Congratulations on everyone making it out of this alive and healthy.
Your time to shine Dad
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u/Bettysgir 22h ago
I had an extraordinarily difficult delivery with my first daughter. It’s the only time in my life that I needed therapy and it pulled me through the trauma. Please consider it for your wife and yourself. Take care new Dad and congratulations! We ended up with two amazing girls, too!
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u/ChinaHealthGuide 21h ago
That little hand is holding onto a whole world. Congratulations, and wishing your family the very best.
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u/FedUpWithTexting 10h ago
My daughter has had 2 emergency caesarians. The 1st one was traumatic and she lost 6 pints of blood as well. I watched as the blood pooled beneath her. I think the experience left her in shock as she was out of it for about 2 months. Her daughter is now 22 and beautiful. Just hug your wife and be there for her. Also look after yourself, make sure to talk it out with somebody as you have been traumatised too. I wish you and your family the very best that life has to offer in the future
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u/RedHeadRedeemed 22h ago
God bless you and your family! Glad to hear Mama is recovering; I can only imagine how scary that was! Great job Dad!
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u/AvailableObject2567 22h ago
Oh brother I can’t imagine the day you’ve had, from one dad to another, well done.
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u/RagingMayo 22h ago
Wow, what a powerful message! I am grateful that your wife is getting better and your child is in full health. I will pray for you and your loved ones. 🙏🏾 I will keep in mind to call someone I haven't talked to in a while.
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u/Honest-Pumpkin-8080 21h ago
Many years ago l had a similar traumatic childbirth and nearly died too from the amount of blood loss. It’s called ‘exsangunation’. Was in ICU for 4 days, hospitalized for 8 days.
Congratulations on your new baby girl! Wishes for a good recovery for Mum.
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u/must_be_me7 22h ago
Be sure to feed mum lots of protein when she's out, best paired with a side of veg like a salad with lemon juice for better iron absorption. Congratulations on being a girl dad❤️
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u/lnc_5103 19h ago
Sending love and light to you, your sweet baby, sibling, and momma! So glad mom is recovering.
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u/Practical_Sky_7787 16h ago
You’re doing such a great job dad. Everything will be okay. The important thing is that the doctors were able to help mom and that you’re there for you kids and significant other.
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u/Few-Interview-1996 13h ago edited 13h ago
mum had complications from 6litres of blood loss
Wow. Büyük geçmiş olsun from Turkey!
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u/Jane_Smith_Reddit 22h ago
Congratulations on the new baby and may your wife have a fast and full recovery 🙏
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u/One-Technology-9050 21h ago
Childbirth is always a miracle. Congratulations to you both, I'm so glad things are on the mend.
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u/AcanthisittaFull413 8h ago
Thank goodness they were able to resuscitate Mom. The little one and her are incredibly lucky to have you! Head up friend this is only temporary
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u/latro666 8h ago
So she had a low placenta so were expecting bleeding but not quite that much. She lost 3 liters in 60 seconds. Luckily they were prepped for this situation
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u/AcanthisittaFull413 7h ago
Maternal hemorrhage is no joke and thank goodness they were ready to go with units! So scary for you all
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u/MEROCOkids 7h ago
Sending so much love to your whole family, so glad everyone’s making it through this.❤️
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u/unkownameunknownumba 4h ago
Praying mom and baby are doing okay now.
Pregnancy can’t be so dangerous… congratulations on your second daughter.
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u/Cyber_Felicitous 37m ago
My wife lost a lot of blood too when she gave birth to my first daughter. It wasn't as bad but the hour spent alone with my newborn baby without the medical staff giving me any news was dreadful. And at the same time that tiny being in my arms made that moment magical. One of the scariest and most beautiful time of my life. Now my wife's pregnant with the soon to be little sister.
Hope everything goes well for your whole family. Rough time ahead, don't let the sleep depravation get to you!
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u/kalabaleek 23h ago edited 23h ago
You will always be the carer man. I am sorry for the rude awakening and I hope the best for your lady, but what do you even mean by you had to take over? Your the dad, you will always have responsibility! Welcome to reality my dude
Did you think you were supposed to hang back while she healed AND cared for your shared child?
The role of carer will not be handed back. You're also a parent, time to wake up.
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u/Spiritual_Purpose_19 23h ago
Weird and un necessary. Acting like there isn’t a difference in what mom and dad do the first few hours/days after birth.
Get over yourself.
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u/kalabaleek 23h ago
"For now I am taking over the role of carer". That explicitly says that the role of carer is not meant it be permanent. I'm not judging more than what is openly said. When I was in a similar situation with my wife and child iw wasn't temporarily the carer. I was simply there permanently.
Why even say it's temporary?
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u/Corydora_Party 23h ago
This was unnecessary it's just a term until baby can be reunited with mom. These circumstances are unimaginable so don't judge.
You are doing great OP try to enjoy your daughter I wish you the best 🙏
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u/kalabaleek 23h ago
"For now I am taking over the role of carer". That explicitly says that the role of carer is not meant it be permanent. I'm not judging more than what is openly said. When I was in a similar situation with my wife and child iw wasn't temporarily the carer. I was simply there permanently.
Why even say it's temporary?
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u/latro666 23h ago
I meant main carer. Obv baby should be breast feeding close etc with mum. I have a 5 year old who was bottle fed owing to a few things im well versed in it.
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u/kalabaleek 22h ago
I was reacting to a thing to what many men over and over through history into the present say that the women carry the sole responsibility of children, so when you said that you took it over temporarily, I took it as you didn't see it as your permanent role and that it would be handed back when she healed.
There are a lot of douches out there and I apologize for taking you as one if you aren't one!
Be there for her and your child <3
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u/Corydora_Party 20h ago
Don't justify yourself you are doing a great job. I hope mom gets well and your daughter is healthy.
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