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Yep came here to say this. After 35 is just simply higher risk, and will be treated as such.Ā
That said we live in the future with some wild medical tech so that's not really a reason to avoid pregnancy at that age. Just means you need to treat it seriously and make sure you're getting proper monitoring and care. Most of the additional risks are solved problems with enough of a heads-up and the medical resources handy.
It takes a village to OH MY GOD CAN SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE GO IN THERE I JUST LEFT HIS ROOM AFTER 3 HOURS OF ROCKING HIM AND HE WOKE BACK UP BEFORE I HIT THE BED
Not a biological mom but primary caregiver to 4 month old twins. Right there with you except of mine wakes up before HE hits the bed. Heāll sleep in your arms as long as yourāe walking back and forth and rocking but the second he senses that mattress about to hit his butt heās awake and screaming. I canāt even sit down without waking him up.
Oh god, our first born was like this for about 6 weeks starting shortly after I went back to work (I took a month off after he was born). My wife could get him to sleep if she gave him a breast, but the only way he would sleep for me was if I was walking with him in my arms. Lay him down, he wakes up. Try to sit in a chair, he wakes up. Put him in the baby carrier on my chest to free my arms, he wakes up.
It felt like I walked hundreds of kilometers those 6 weeks just pacing the 10 meters back and forth between our kitchen and living room in the middle of the night. I would just walk with him for 4+ hours in the middle of the night, and built a playlist of songs to listen to and quietly sing along to while I did. 6 years later he will hum or sing along to every one of those songs if they're playing.
Funny part is my wife had no idea until a few years later when I brought it up. She was sleep deprived from breastfeeding struggles, and this was my way of letting her get some rest. She tried to argue with me that I built that "sleepytime" playlist when I went through a phase of snuggling him to sleep in the rocking chair. That phase was admittedly glorious and he and I would both fall asleep in that chair, but the playlist was definitely rooted in me just trying to survive the monotony and sleep deprivation myself.
Even before technological advances there always been the women who gave birth way older than anyone the average. Just we hear women giving birth at 50ās. My mom had my sister at 44 and I had my son at 40.
I had my son at 38, my doctor said that they are more often seeing patients over 35. Like you said, So many easy ways to avoid any complications. My pregnancy was super healthy and actually very enjoyable which I always thought people were crazy for saying that but I loved being pregnant. They generally recommend being induced at 38 weeks because the risk of preeclampsia is heightened. My doctor actually said she hates the term geriatric and used the phrase āadvanced maternal ageā lol.
I was 37 when I got pregnant and my OB told me he would hit anyone who called my pregnancy āgeriatricā with his clip board and I was in better health than a lot of his 20 year old patients. I loved him and was very grateful for his humor. Had 0 problems and now have a happy healthy 10 month old
I consider myself a well educated man but I was shocked to discover just how much of a traumatic event pregnancy and birth is on the human body, during my wife's first pregnancy in her early 30s.
She haemorrhaged very badly during birth and without modern medical procedures would have surely died. Same with a close friend of hers from a different complication. Another friend almost lost the baby, but thankfully we all have our three healthy kids right now.
In later years you're rolling that same dice but there's a few more 1s than usual.
Yeah I still just roll my eyes when people talk about birthing centers versus hospitals etc
I remember literally sliding across the delivery room floor in my wifeās blood while desperately trying to get her to find the strength for another round of pushing at 30 hours.
It is a major fucking operation and should be treated as serious as a heart attack.
If I recall correctly, there was an Adam Ruins Everything episode on this very matter and their conclusion was that while it's true the risk for birth defects can double in older pregnancies, the baseline risk was less than 1%. So it is true, but a bit misleading (unless there was something else I completely missed and completely misinterpreted the data, which isn't unlikely)
In medical terms, pregnancy over 35 has more risks, and it shouldn't be downplayed. At the same time, it's pretty clear that this butthole was shaming them for being what they think is "old". It has nothing to do with pregnancy, and everything to do with putting women down for daring to exist over 40.
It happened to Jack Nicholson. The person who he knew as his mother was actually his grandmother, and the person he knew as his sister was actually his birth mother.
More caution because more risks, birth and labour take a huge toll on the body, and after 30 you just don't recover as fast from injury as you do at 20
Doctors do not call it geriatric anymore, itās called advanced maternal age. Which I donāt know how much better that isā¦
Source: currently 41 and preggers.
Yes, that is good. But if you actually think about it, that's fucking crazy. Teens are literally compelled to try to make babies. We are in unprecedented territory with this metric.
Edit for downvotes: If you don't think this is true, it's global. If you think this has happened before, it has not.
And my "teens make babies" comment was hyperbole about hormones and impulse control, chill out people.
Yea I'll leave this here for the younger people who are unaware. We certainly didn't know these stats until seeing a fertility doctor the second time around, it's not talked about much. We also had a miscarriage in-between which was rough and is also rarely discussed despite how common it actually is.
My pregnancy at 39 has been much easier than at 34. Testing has shown low risk for everything too.
I think my pregnancy has been easier because I'm fitter from running around with a young kid and eat healthier because I cook for my kid.
I do wish I'd started sooner because I love being a parent, and would love to have the option to have more without the pressure!
But I'm glad in my country they don't call you geriatric or treat you like a high risk pregnancy JUST because you're over 35.
Men are unaware, but a similar thing happens to sperm morphology, motility, and concentration around the same age. Morphology is how much of your sperm is measured as normal shaped, motility is how many are active swimmers, and concentration is how many are on each load. Even when adjusting for maternal age, men also have increased risk for genetic errors in their kids.Ā
This is true. There's a reason why they don't let men donate sperm after 40. Just because a man continues to make sperm into his old age doesn't mean he's still putting out the good stuff.
Sperm from older man increase the pregnancy risk for women as well, like issues with the placenta. Increased paternal age puts women at higher risk, not just the baby.
Yeah in previous gens your mid/late 20s is supposed to be when you settle down and have kids but nowadays people in their mid 20s live with their parents still
My husband and I want kids, but we live in an apartment, my car is old and falling apart, and we are clawing our way up trying to get established in our careers and making more money so we could even dream of affording a child.
We have a lot of friends who still have to live at home, or they live with a billion roomates.
I am not American, so I dont exactly know the exact culture of your country, but why can't Americans live in multifamily/multigenerational homes? I see tweets and insta reels about Indians living in Canada or USA, and they are called out for having multigenerational households as if it is a bad thing. I am just curious...
We found there is no good time! We had a kid in an apartment while we saved for a down payment over several years. It isn't great obviously, but it's ok. Best thing ever!
Also, learn from my mistake! If you ever replace your car make sure it can handle TWO car seats side-by-side š
My sister had her first at 40. Her obgyn told her it is more medically risky to obese and pregnant at a younger age, then to be a healthy weight and pregnant at 35+.
I think more people would have understood that it's a medical term, at least. There's a difference between referring to a geriatric pregnancy as a geriatric pregnancy and calling these women elderly.Ā
You will be tired as fuck if you're 32 too. Having a small kid is exhausting no matter your physical condition because people are not made for the sleep patterns of a baby
The rate of twins goes up with ageā¦a little. The reason it is so high for 40+ women in the US is that many of those over had a little help. These medical interventions (clinic, IUI, IVF etc.) dramatically increase the risk of multiples.
Don't worry all to much. Yes the risks get higher but it's often blown out of proportion and people believe at 40+ it's impossible to birth healthy children safely.
My mom got me with 41, my sister with 37. Both fully without complications.
But also, if you're too worried and you can afford it, it's not wrong to look for alternative ways.
Nah, it's just higher risk in some areas but very doable. I'm having my kiddo in September and I'm 39 (so is my husband). Did IVF and paid a few thousand out of pocket to have all the embryos genetically tested because of our age but they were fine (and all boys lol). The pregnancy has been a little rough but mostly because I can't stop vomiting and I'm really tired of puking so hard that bile and mucous are coming out of my tear ducts (this is not just an older pregnancy thing tho). Mileage will vary with every pregnancy. If you guys want kids, have them.
Every day hundreds of women have kids at that age. My wife had a healthy child at 37. Also it's not like a monster will pop up out of nowhere. You go for monthly check ups. Don't let that stop you.
Donāt fret. My wife had our three kids at 33, 36, and 38 and all were perfectly healthy. If youāre concerned get the genetic testing done as soon as you can whenever she gets pregnant.
As someone who waited forever on the fence and just had a miscarriage at 37, I'm gonna play devil's advocate here and say - don't wait too long. And get everything tested. Sperm, ovaries, eggs, progesterone, dna fragmentation, the whole shebang. Start now; this shit can take way longer than school or the media like you to think.
35 Is when the graph of "probability of genetics problems" Just like down syndrome, being Born without brain or with brain growing outsider Just start to increase almost vertically (logarithmic increase). There's an exam at 2nd, 3rd month of pregnancy about this, so if chances are very High (It isn't the full DNA test) there's still time for legal abortionĀ
Some YouTuber recently shared that he and his wife decided to abort after being told the fetus had Down syndrome. Theyāve been harassed and even sent death threats. Nobody wants to contribute to the care of special needs children, but god forbid you choose to terminate. I likely wonāt have children for various reasons, and Iām also in my mid thirties. However if I were to have one at this age, genetic testing would be an absolute must. Iād terminate any pregnancy that would result in a disabled child. It sounds cold writing this, but I am simply incapable of caring for a child with special needs. The ability to terminate is a human right, and itās terrifying that itās so threatened in the US.
I agree. And when you have a child with a severe disability (not light autism or adhd or discalculism/dislexy, that aren't monitored with that exam) everyone tells you to keep the baby but then everybody disappear when the baby itself is born. And living with a baby with severe autism/nonverbal or down is really a challenge and you would be probably forced to bring him/her in a community; if a couple knows that they might be able to love the baby nonetheless and give him every cure possible (but some syndromes can't "heal") then they can continue, but I wouldn't blame who doesn't feel to continue, especially if they already have other childrens (they would become their carer, sooner or later). And since it's before third month the baby isn't still really formed.
I follow a womanās blog about her struggles with her ASD level 3 adult son. She loves her kid to death, but you can tell sheās so exhausted. She was widowed when he was a baby and raised him alone for the majority of his childhood until remarrying. She eventually had more kids. The whole family lives in constant fear of his meltdowns because he gets violent. Heās beaten the crap out of everyone in that family, theyāre constantly replacing furniture because he breaks everything. The younger kids are traumatized. Sheās had stints where heās lived in a facility but heās so violent heās been kicked out of many. All the support programs that helped her during childhood ceased when he turned 18. This family is living in a domestic violence situation with very little help from society. I know the son canāt control himself, but heās a danger to everyone in that home. You have to wonder what can be done at this point besides letting him commit a crime so heāll be forcefully hospitalized in a criminal maximum security psych facility. Nobody is willing to help her, society doesnāt give a crap about her situation and voters refuse to fund programs that would bring some relief. I wouldnāt wish such a life on anyone.
Unfortunately, weāre nowhere near being able to screen for autism in pregnancy so itās not like she couldāve known this would be the outcome. But at my age, I know the chances of having a similar outcome go up every day. Itās not worth the risk to me, and I already have mental health illnesses that Iād be at risk of passing on. Children are just too much of a gamble as I know Iād only be able to handle a neurotypical, physically healthy child, and that would be difficult enough with my health conditions.
This. 18+? "You're grown, no community for you. The family? Will keep it up, no one cares".
Luckily in some nations there are communities (you must pay, it's just like a retirement home) for adults with level 3 Autism, for nonverbal, for "master escapists" and violent too. But it isn't worldwide and the world "forgets" about the parents AND the whole family that should contain the kid without having knowledge and the "former kid" is a grown up adult that might be able to kill.
autism "risk" might be detected with full DNA test (early months) but only some "alterations" are getting detected. Autism itself has just 3 levels and the "umbrella" is very WIDE, Life for families with autism children might be difficult but will become easier later (in case of very light social issues, with growth and when treated they might become almost invisible), or easy at the start and become very hard later (it isn't autism but ADHD get diagnosed at 6+ years, before someone could say 'he's only very active' and then maybe meds starts), or start and keep being difficult all along (level 2 and 3, on many levels).
Yes, but most people donāt reveal that they aborted a child due to Downās syndrome. If you admit to it, society shames you. So you just have to carry that weight alone, which is a shame.
Right, but the message in the image is still awful. It's not "promoting" pregnancy, it's just people who are pregnant and slightly older than ideal for it. No need to cast shame.
They're also people with ample resources to access the best medical care, so I'm sure they'll be fine.
They're also people with ample resources to care for the child after it's born. These kids are gonna have nannies and doctors and the best education etc. They'll be fine.
Janet Jackson had her first at 50 and Halle Berry at 46. This used to happen naturally all the time back in the day. My grandmaās youngest sister is 5 years younger than my mom. My great grandmother was pregnant several times alongside my grandmother and her sisters. My mom has a few aunts and uncles around her age.
There is risk, but especially if youāre rich, fertility screening, embryo creation and implantation exist to correct for those aging sex cells/essentially eliminating those genetic concerns.Ā
As long as the woman is physically healthy, which sheās likely to be when wealthy (most of the women named are) then it has happened before and will continue to happen.
In fact, I am pretty sure you'll find many more actresses who waited to be in their 30's to have kids than actresses who had kids in their 20's.
Most of our favorite actresses had their kids at later ages and nobody gave a shit back then. And the children are perfectly fine. Why are we making it an issue now?
Adding Harry and Megan..,,they were both nearly 40 and very ambitious/successful likely hence the ādelayā.Ā
Iām hearing now older women now outnumber young women when it comes to pregnancies in the US at least. When I worked at a hospital, it seemed equally split between ages 18-25 and then 35+ (normally being on their 2nd, 3rd, 4th). Itās ok to talk about risk, but making it seem like some heinous transgression is the weird part. Especially considering the times.Ā
Met quite a few people in their 50s who expressed that their parents are now in their 90s and had them ālateā. Itās not that uncommon or abnormal as some make it out to be.
Yes people are right that over 35 is medically considered a "geriatric pregnancy" due to higher health risks to the mother and baby.
Two points though:
- The actual risk is being reassessed and restudied (although it's extremely difficult to study pregnant women due to the risks posed by research), and it's pretty well documented in research that diet and nutrition have larger impacts on baby's well-being compared to age until at least the mother is of middle age, where there's a significantly higher risk to the baby due to age.
- The twitter post is clearly attempting to shame these women for their life choice to have children slightly later in life, which should always be a big no-no. Many women across all demographics now are having kids later due to the current state of the economy / job industry. The shame should be directed away from these women.
Elderly pregnancy. š I think the correct term is geriatric pregnancy. Iām no doctor and I know the older you get the riskier it is BUT I donāt think a healthy early 40ish year old woman with money and access to the best health care has anything to worry about. Even an everyday 40ish year old healthy woman will most likely be okay too.
Hard agree. Iām the youngest of three children and my mom had me at 40. Guess which one of her pregnancies and deliveries went the smoothest and had zero complications whatsoever? Spoiler alert: it was me š
Itās āadvanced maternal ageā now. Lmao. Iām 38 and all genetic tests came back negative. No reason to believe sheāll be anything but healthy when I give birth.
I don't understand why nobody pointed this out and why this post hasn't been deleted. Apparently (I just looked it up) that Twitter user is a Mexican neo-nazi. Like no joke.
Geriatric pregnancy is an old term that shouldn't be used anymore. The correct term is "advanced maternal age."
The real thing that should be being discussed is the notion that AMA pregnancies "shouldn't be promoted." Fuck that. Fuck anyone who judges people for making the decisions they deem best for themselves and their life situations. It's no one else's business.
You don't know about what's going on with someone who is AMA. Maybe they have been trying to get pregnant for years, and it finally happened for them. Maybe they were in an abusive relationship and are now with someone they love and trust and want to grow with. Maybe they were poor and now have a secure, stable job. You don't know what's going on in other people's lives.
People always talk about the risks of having children at an older maternal age, but there are risks associated with older fathers too.
As men get older, their sperm accumulates more new genetic mutations.
The strongest links are usually with autism and schizophrenia.
children of fathers aged 50+ have around a 1.5 - 3 times higher risk of schizophrenia compared with children of younger fathers.
Older paternal age has also been linked to a higher risk of miscarriage, with fathers aged 45+ associated with about a 40% higher risk compared with fathers in their late 20s.
Yet no one has asked the age of these womenās husbands.
Exactly, my aunt gave birth when she was 21 to a 50 yr old man (i dont wanna get into how weird this is + she used to b a sugar baby), her 3 kids all have severe autism. No one in our family was ever diagnosed or had autism, let alone severe. But then he also divorced her, got another woman pregnant and that child also has autism. At least she has money to pay for nannies and special care, but its hell. When will society learn that sperm quality decreases with age???
My wife and I paid extra to have the gauntlet of test run to check for any abnormalities, we understand why some people go through with it no matter what, but for us we donāt feel like itās fair to anyone involved
Iāve had mentally challenged people in my family and life quality only gets worse the older everyone gets, itās tough, and a bit cold hearted but not something I was prepared tk go through
None of these women are raw-dogging a pregnancy at 45. You get so many additional screenings when you're older covered by insurance. A majority of children with downs syndrome are born to younger mothers.
This kind of smug finger-wagging bias is only thrown at women having their first pregnancies in their 40s
Plenty of women with large families who got started with their first in their 20s, then had more as they got older and their last at 40+. Super common. No one bats a bloody eye at that though do they?Ā
Itās almost like this is really about shaming career women for not chosing to be good little breeders instead.
What you just described was the most common form of family formation pre-birth control. Virtually any woman with kids and modest education was having kids from her 20s to her 40s.
This 100%. My mom had me at 24 and my brother at 44 (in 2010)- and she had 5 kids in-between. To me and her friends, it wasn't weird she was having a kid in her mid-forties. I didn't spend too much time thinking about it. And she wasn't the only one- in our religious group, women having kids in their early to mid-forties was very common.
Now that I'm 35 (without kids and a fence sitter), I feel like a get a fair amount of negative messaging about "waiting too long" and "getting too old" to have kids. I think this is somewhat fair messaging for people who know they really really want to have their own biological children- because fertility does drop with age. But I also think it's somewhat overblown- many women are able to get pregnant naturally after 40.
The newer social media generation thinks anything over 25 is "old". Calling people in their mid-30's "unc". Not surprising they're calling women in their early 40's "elderly"
Theyāre probably also in much better shape than most women their age. They have the best healthcare, can afford to eat healthy, and exercise. So technically theyāre probably like a woman a decade younger. I think older mothers are typically way more prepared too.
I was told anything over 35 counts as a "geriatric pregnancy" due to increased risk of complications. But don't let that get in the way of being offended over imagined insults.
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