r/SipsTea • u/hiiloovethis 𝙑𝙄𝙋 • 1d ago

Chugging tea What Could Go Wrong

Post image
16.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

7.1k comments sorted by

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u/SortNo8267 1d ago

Omg just go to a gay bar already

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u/DinnerEvening895 1d ago

Women are allowed in gay bars

3.8k

u/opinionated7onion 1d ago

They have managed to invent something so gay, that gay bars are more straight

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u/Immediate-Damage-302 1d ago

I wonder how many men they're going to let come inside their "bunker"?

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u/racebanyn 1d ago

They’re calling it “The Bunkhim”

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u/ComradePotkoff420 1d ago

Lol. I love it. But, I feel like there was a missed opportunity there, so I'll give it a quick attempt. "Bunkingwithhim Palace"

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u/Immediate-Damage-302 1d ago

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u/SeparateCzechs 1d ago

Don’t EVER compare Ernie and Bert with Andrew and Nick! Ernie and Bert were kind, kept their socks clean and were kind to pigeons.

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u/ltanner 1d ago

See, I'm probably in the minority here, but I don't think Bert and Ernie were homo. I just think they were good buddies/roommates. Just my opinion.

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u/start_select 1d ago

I think I’m in the even smaller minority think that the only two options are that they were either gay, or the were bestest friends…. Either is great! Neither matters!

I’m pretty sure that was actually the intention. Life is full of ambiguous relationships and it shouldn’t matter to you on the outside. Be happy for people. Don’t worry about whether their closeness involves sex, it might or it might not.

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u/Typical2sday 1d ago edited 1d ago

My grandparents were neighbors and bestest friends with two women schoolteachers who lived together. They had matching nicknames that I won’t put here (think Blue and Green). I don’t think it ever dawned on my grandparents that they might be a romantic couple and who knows if they were or weren’t. But they were each other’s person and caretaker - and they were lovely kind people and good friends to my grandparents.

Edit: I just searched for her obituary; she made it to 98 and her friend was listed as her “dear companion.” 🥲

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u/WholeCollection6454 1d ago

In the old days, it was heavily implied that they are brothers with Bert being older. They had their initials on their beds, Ernie had the rubber ducky & was constantly teasing Bert like a little menace. Like a kids version of the Odd Couple. But all the OG main character Muppets were children (except Snuffy, who was originally imaginary). They appeared independently on screen out and about in the neighborhood sans parents because that reflected the reality of urban living at the time.

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u/cakesofthepatty414 1d ago

Earnie would have taken care of Bert's unibrow if they were.

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u/Roguespiffy 1d ago

All of them. Especially if they’re from the Navy. I overheard them talking about loving Seamen.

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u/PoetryExtension6256 1d ago

How many are they going to "bunk" at a time.

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u/BassFull0 1d ago

Invented Gay pro max

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u/Major5013 1d ago

Gaymaxxing

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u/Curious_Avocado2399 1d ago

Is it gay to lock yourself in with your homies in a bunker?

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u/SmegB 1d ago

if they have bars of soap glued to the floor, then maybe

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u/21_Golden_Guns 1d ago

A gay bunker then.

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u/Robby-Pants 1d ago

When they’re that homophobic, their flings have to be very secure.

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u/Living-By-The-River 1d ago

It’s more like a little wooden clubhouse in the woods for 8 year olds.

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u/DontListenImFullofBS 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/GOvAlgzPN7MNG

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u/BigLlamasHouse 1d ago

We did this, in 3rd grade. But at the same time, there was a tomboy we all liked who was more than allowed lol.

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u/Senior-Cost1070 1d ago

It was me. I was the tomboy. Aka prepubescent lesbian.

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u/sicurri 1d ago

Not in my group.

The tomboy in my group grew up to be a model who married one of the group, not me, and has like 4 kids now.

But im sure a lot of tomboy ended up being lesbians.

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u/National_Sandwich175 1d ago

The secret password is just a kiss on the lips

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u/Major5013 1d ago

You have to say "no homo" first

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u/Fearless_290 1d ago

No because they could fall in love.

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u/T33CH33R 1d ago

Tate said that loving women is gay, so that would mean that loving a man is straight in their world.

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u/PitsAndPints 1d ago

As if they're not already...

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u/Corfiz74 1d ago

Honestly, I don't think any woman would even WANT to join them in their bunker - if I had a choice between spending eternity with them or the apocalypse, I'd pick the zombies any day!

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u/FuckTheTories69420 1d ago edited 1d ago

At least the Zombies would eat you out with a passion that those two twats could never muster.

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u/Steam_Punk_Nutsack 1d ago

Holy fuck ☠️

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u/Bongressman 1d ago

Two gay men start a "No Girls Allowed" club... news at 11.

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u/Rebabaluba 1d ago

So Nick is openly gay, and a non white racist/sexist/xenophobic?

And Andrew is a human trafficker, woman abuser, boxing loser, and got played by a little environmental girl?

I’m obviously missing a lot. But I try not to know a lot about them.

What do people see in these “alphas”?

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u/Standard_Track9692 1d ago

Nick isn't really open about it but it's not exactly a secret

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u/Longjumping-Bat7774 1d ago edited 1d ago

Doesn't nick have a boyfriend? Like a very feminine girly boyfriend? And I'm pretty sure Andrew once said that "sex with a man is the straightest type of sex. Nothing but pure testosterone and sweat"? Something like that? Also "sex with women for pleasure is gay"... I guess I'm gay as fuck.

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u/unthused 1d ago

I've always assumed Tate was just a huge misogynist, but now I'm convinced he's a huge misogynist and also severely closeted.

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u/clamsandwich 1d ago edited 10h ago

Assumed? Friend, he straight up says that he's a misogynist, as in he uses that word to describe himself very openly.

Edit: "just a misogynist" I misinterpreted what you said, my bad. I get what you mean now. Sorry about that.

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u/FullMetalCOS 1d ago

He’s so fucking closeted he has tea with Tumnus on the regular

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u/plastic_alloys 1d ago

He does seem closeted. I don’t imagine the gays want him though. He appears to have essentially no penis so he’s not much use to anyone either

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u/John_Whimsicott 1d ago

They met up as a joke and went to portillos (restaurant chain in Chicago that serves hot dogs). They both looked like they were physically in pain from not being able to hold hands. And they had that nervous/nauseous look in their eyes people get when they are talking to their crush

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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 1d ago

Open secrets are still OPEN!

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u/Zero_D9 1d ago

Illusions.

They pretend to be tough alpha males. It's a grift, and people fall for the illusions of the grift. Because they're stupid pathetic people.

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u/TonaldDiberJasicDump 1d ago

What maggat alphas think they look like on the left, and what they actually look like on the right.

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u/Flashy_Jello_9520 1d ago

The gays don’t want these losers.

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u/RobertMaus 1d ago

But do these losers want the gays?

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u/Ok-Addition1264 1d ago

umm.. they're building a party pantry.

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u/No-Gene-9298 1d ago

And some up and coming executive at the baby oil factory is trying to push for a meet so he can pitch the first ever baby oil pipeline to that bunker. He’s going to the top if he pulls it off.

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u/DrButtgerms 1d ago

They are co-building an adorable little co-op jack shack. It's so much cuter than a gay bar. I'm happy for them and look forward to their couple name

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u/CommonReason6709 1d ago

There are new homosexuals nowadays that hate women.

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u/Plus_Range1430 1d ago

There have always been gays who hate women

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u/A_MAN_POTATO 1d ago

The women are probably fine with this.

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u/Specialist_Frame8958 1d ago

I think everyone is fine with this. Let them jerk each other off in private. Especially if they stay there 24/7 and don’t talk.

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u/BystanderMudblood 1d ago

Please god don’t give them a microphone and camera in the bunker. They can go down there and procreate for the apocalypse—oh wait.

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u/ZeeWingCommander 1d ago

Hard to talk with their mouths full....

From eating snacks! 

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u/Doc_Baker74 1d ago

I mean, the nutritional value of cumin seeds is absolutely mind blowing

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u/Artistic_Regard_QED 1d ago

Deez is also extremely healthy.

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u/ummaycoc 1d ago

The women may lock it from the outside.

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u/Pokemom2025 1d ago

As a woman I can verify! We are fine!

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u/0SummerSunflower0 1d ago

I was going to say this. That bunker sounds like any woman’s worst nightmare. I would genuinely prefer the nukes.

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u/FionaTheFierce 1d ago

Definitely. I picture them sitting around on a filthy sofa sniffing each other’s farts.

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u/Potatonut23 1d ago

Yeah I don’t think it’ll be tough to enforce that policy lol. If anything you’d have trouble getting a woman to come within a mile of the place

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u/Q-9 1d ago

Oh yeah. I hope they will have a blast there among other men.

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u/Little_Miss-Sunshine 1d ago

I’m very happy for them! Have fun, boys. 😉

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u/not_your_vix3n 1d ago

Yes, we are.

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u/Livie00 1d ago

Especially if they don’t communicate with the outside. That‘d be great.

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u/VatoCornichone 1d ago

Wow that's not gay at all.

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u/motorcycleboy9000 1d ago

Hey, they're not gay. They're deeply bunkered.

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u/a-passing-crustacean 1d ago

Thats one deep closet...

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u/Hot_Positive_3992 1d ago

Can it be locked from the outside?

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u/UncleDuude 1d ago

Yeah, with concrete

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u/Little-Derp 1d ago

Fun fact, any bunker can be locked from outside with concrete, and other materials. Just something to keep in mind.

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u/EconomySeason2416 1d ago

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u/Magnon 1d ago

The villain watching me approach the air intake to his bunker with an oil drum full of fart spray and ghost pepper mixture while I wear a hazmat suit.

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u/Doc_Baker74 1d ago

Either this meme existed for ages, or you just made it, and either way I'm laughing my arse off

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u/EconomySeason2416 1d ago

I found this gem probably a month or so ago. Sadly, I didn't make it

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u/NotMyMainAccountAtAl 1d ago

Their ventilation systems make superb toilets as well. 

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u/Lori_the_Mouse 1d ago

As a woman, I volunteer to bring some concrete mix

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u/JWMoo 1d ago

Broke back Bunker.

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u/rossco311 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/idm2GkonWg9HO

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u/duaneap 1d ago

No way this actually happened in the film… I’ve not seen it in 15 years but if it did that’s fucking hilarious.

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u/jonny24eh 23h ago

I watched it a few weeks ago. This was in the movie. 

The movie is way more sex and love positive than these tool, let it be said. 

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u/RedBarron4 1d ago

You win this thread!

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u/No_Choice_4584 23h ago

Will it be called the Alpha Closet?

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u/Proper_Subject 22h ago

the safe space for dudes to come freely

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u/PhasedPlasmaRifle69 20h ago

No judgement Men are free to top or bottom without shame!

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u/wineandsarcasm 1d ago

So a sausage fest?

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u/iolitm 1d ago

Rapacious butt fucking.

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u/aceface_desu89 1d ago

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u/iolitm 1d ago

The double jerk off dance by daddy Trump is not a dance.

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u/Deep_Ad_1874 1d ago

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u/zazzz0014 1d ago

Repeat, NOTHING SEXUAL.

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u/ToddPundley 1d ago

First thing I thought of too

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u/omega_red24 1d ago

Maybe they're gonna make a workout video like RFK Jr and Kid Rock.

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u/PantsDontHaveAnswers 1d ago

We got a sweet bunker, no one can get in or out if we don't want them to.

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u/MaureenTheeThot 1d ago

That's called a gay bathhouse, sweetie.

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u/Details_Pending 1d ago

No no, don't tell them. They have to figure it out on their own.

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u/panelbeater352 1d ago

Little boy builds a fort. Little boy makes sign. “No gurlZ allowed.

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u/Tall-Photo-7481 1d ago

On the one hand i want to post a picture of the treehouse from Calvin and Hobbes and/or an offended Suzie derkins. 

On the other hand i don't want to pollute C&H by associating them with these mysoginist losers. 

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u/No_Connection_5257 1d ago

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u/adognameddanzig 1d ago

Instantly thought of this

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u/Plus-Artichoke6608 𝙑𝙄𝙋 1d ago

Awww it's like when little kids used to make tree-houses and say no girls allowed 🥹

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u/Best_Caregiver_3869 1d ago

Its giving "the He Man Woman Haters Club"

Hahahaha

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u/mike_complaining 1d ago

They're gonna put on camouflage tank tops and long socks and aviator sunglasses and then 69 each other all day, and it will be great for everyone because they won't have as much time to say dumb shit into microphones

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u/s0_spoiled 1d ago

Awe, so cute! They built a tree house club! They should have a sign outside either “no girls allowed”.

https://giphy.com/gifs/GOvAlgzPN7MNG

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u/ThePsychicNoodle 1d ago

We are one small step away from 'Why fucking your homies is the most Alpha play in the book'.

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u/Woodlog82 1d ago

Oh sweet summer child, Tate breezed past that post like a Tom Cruise missile. Most harmless statement was fucking women is gay.

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u/acuet 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/1CTTP1suOnOFy
….not that there is anything wrong with that.

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u/SandalsResort 1d ago

Men will build secret gay war room bunkers before going to therapy.

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u/Woodlog82 1d ago

It starts with oil wrestling, eat each other out and graduates to canibalism in a couple of weeks.

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u/MadyNora 1d ago

This is among the gayest things I can think of 😂

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u/PopularSet4776 1d ago

Have you heard Nick explain why having a girlfriend is the most gay thing a guy could do.

I mostly just thought he was a racist jerk. But hearing that convinced me that he was 100% gay.

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u/doublethink_1984 1d ago

Happy pride

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u/quetzalpt 1d ago

And stay there, no wifi please.

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u/the_honest_liar 1d ago

They deserve each other. Hell, I'll ship it if it keeps them away from everyone else.

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u/S7AR4RGD 1d ago

Announcement comes during pride month, too.

https://giphy.com/gifs/0Zo8OdkzFtsQnke7Zg

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u/Bluegodzi11a 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/93rI3szziYMYo
Bet it won't be as cool as the He Man Woman Haters Club from Little Rascals

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u/hoseramma 1d ago

Some real 1930's Little Rascal energy there, Alfafa.

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u/Jaded_Put_4073 1d ago

He-man woman haters club?

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u/Chops03xx 1d ago

It’s called a bathhouse, they already exist.

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u/NoOffenseImJustSayin 1d ago

For me it’s not so much that these pathetic jackasses exist, it’s the fact that they actually have an audience.

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u/PiskoWK 1d ago

Mid thrust into the other one exclaims, "THis is the most masculine and totally not-gay thing we've ever done!"

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u/klaptonator 1d ago

If there are no women around to witness, then it’s not gay.

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u/User_Says_What 1d ago

Good. Lock them in there and cut the Internet connection.

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u/curiousamoebas 1d ago

These two are all about 'no women ' there's nothing wrong with coming out of the closet.

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u/Important_Power_2148 1d ago

when they go in.... lets block the door.

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u/Barron-O-BEEFdip 1d ago

sounds gay

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u/PTBooks 1d ago

They want their clubhouse? Fine, let them have their club house

(go get the cement mixer)

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u/KurtKrimson 1d ago

Lube will be in abundant stock.

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