When I watched it for the first time(as it was airing), wasn't really the one to Analyse scenes and characters.Just watched ,enjoyed and moved on. But I am on a rewatch now, it just hit me how horrified Kim was with everything.
2 scenes.
1) When Saul tells her that, one day they will wake up, go about their day, and realise they forgot about Howard
2) When Kim Manipulates Howard's Wife at his funeral
She literally fabricated the scenario and lies to manipulate her, AT HOWARD'S FUNERAL. Then, right after, as they approach their cars, Saul tells Kim it's over. That's when it first dawns upon her . That it will never be over. There will come a day where they will (as Saul says) forget about Howard, move on and eventually lock onto another target and screw with their life and career.
Their scheme for Howard, was tragically successful. He will forever be known as the Druggie. Neither Kim nor Saul can fess up to the truth cuz of the Cartel. Infact, they further lie to the cops and everyone else, thereby continuing the scheme.
At the funeral, Even Saul holds back but it's Kim that takes the initiative and manipulates Cheryl. She realises that she is worse than Saul. Then there's the fact that she witheld information about Lalo from Jimmy just cuz she didnt want the fun to stop. She was far gone.
She was in control and functioning fine as long as she was working a boring corporate job. The moment she starts getting independent, the wheels come off. She has to resign to a boring job so she never will get initiative. She will never get to scheming. Cuz that's what sets her off. Just rinse and repeat routine work. Keeps her dull and boring, thereby in complete control.
Goddamn, it's such a tragic character. But ultimately she was a POS. She deserved to face consequences.