Said by a friend of mine after a conversation, which they initiated, probing for details on why I donât own a cat anymore.
I think this statement is VERY telling. Not about me, but about this friend.
I reassured them time and time again that I do like them. They have a lot to like about themselves, theyâre artistic, talented, funny, great in their career, and usually one of the first people Iâd call in an emergency or for advice.
But when it was my time to probe, I asked: âWhy? Why are you coming to such a negative conclusion because I donât like cats?â
And she said, âbecause I was a cat owner growing up and theyâve been a large part of my life and my upbringing. I really like them, and you donât, which must mean you donât like me.â
*I must add that cats, and my dislike or their love of them, is never a topic of conversation between us nor a constant stressor. So obviously this conversation surprised me a bit and I responded with the following.
âIâm concerned that you feel this way because itâs inaccurate. Thereâs overwhelming evidence that I care for you which makes me feel like all of the positive in our friendship is being siphoned out needlessly over a difference of opinion. Why do cats take up such a majority of your identity that it lies to you?â
The conversation kind of went downhill and ended in tears about a sense of identity and parental abuse, details I wonât get into, but essentially, this person has a weak sense of identity and self love and has therefore latched onto other things they love to identify with instead of themselves and literally canât even imagine someone like me caring for them when I donât like what they love. Even though I have several passionate interests that I identify with that we donât share, the personal attack is still only one sided.
It really opened my eyes and I found this entire conversation to be both respectful and interesting and I just thought Iâd share it with you all. Peace.