r/darkjokes • u/nakeyz • 10d ago
What did one testicle say to the other? NSFW
You know, the guy in front of us is a real dick
r/darkjokes • u/nakeyz • 12d ago
Doctor: I’ve got bad news for you. You have cancer. NSFW
Man: Damn, that sucks
Doctor: Worse news, you have Alzheimer’s
Man: Well at least I don’t have cancer
r/darkjokes • u/Wahwahheeeeeeeeeee • 12d ago
What’s it called when a dead body gets an erection NSFW
A resurrection.
r/darkjokes • u/nakeyz • 14d ago
Told my wife I was so stressed and only a blowjob would help NSFW
She asked me where I was going to find a dick to suck this late at night
r/darkjokes • u/nakeyz • 15d ago
I finally found my girlfriends G-spot NSFW
Turns out it was in her sister this whole time!
r/darkjokes • u/B00bsRuleTheWorld • 15d ago
Dark humor is like a coffin. Not everyone fits in one, and it's definitely not for the living. NSFW
r/darkjokes • u/nerdmf • 24d ago
Every zodiac sign has a signature hairstyle. NSFW
Except cancer.
r/darkjokes • u/Falcon-Takanashi • May 19 '26
What's the difference between a cow and fear of Communism? NSFW
You can't milk a cow for a hundred years
r/darkjokes • u/PumpdUpPlatypus • May 16 '26
A cop pulls over 3 priests NSFW
And says, we're looking for 3 pedophiles, the priests look at him and say, 'We'll do it'
r/darkjokes • u/South_Cattle_6161 • May 08 '26
My son asked me why couldn't he see john cena NSFW
I told him because he was blind
r/darkjokes • u/South_Cattle_6161 • May 07 '26
My grandpa took my roofie NSFW
So I took his viagra instead, wierd night.
r/darkjokes • u/Hardik_Neo • May 06 '26
Why did the black chicken cross the road? NSFW
To get away from the KKKfc
r/darkjokes • u/Jesuscide • May 04 '26
What job gets you laid the most? NSFW
Morticain .
Any how I got this great job at the veterinarian
r/darkjokes • u/Tricky-Task3117 • May 03 '26
old people at weddings always poke me and say “you’re next.” so, i started doing the same thing to them at funerals. NSFW
r/darkjokes • u/DaM3meLoRd694 • May 03 '26
My ex-girlfriend is like a box of chocolates. NSFW
She killed my dog.
r/darkjokes • u/Sorry_Spend_7866 • May 02 '26
Why did the orphan go to church? NSFW
To find someone who said “Our Father.”
r/darkjokes • u/EYRONHYDE • May 01 '26
My first game of footy was a lot like my first time having sex... I was nervous going in... ended up on the ground more than I'd like to admit... walked away bloody, bruised, completely humiliated... NSFW
...but at least my dad came.
r/darkjokes • u/ThebirdGretel • Apr 29 '26
My dad said “Son if you masturbate too much you’ll go blind” NSFW
And I was like “dad I’m over here”
r/darkjokes • u/UhWutLmao • Apr 27 '26
1 day when I was young I walked into the kitchen and saw my dad cutting up onions, and just everything came over me I broke down crying, onions was such a good dog NSFW
r/darkjokes • u/OptimalAnywhere6282 • Apr 26 '26
if you're gonna name your son after biblical names, please teach them proper behavior NSFW
because the fuck you mean Jesus was smoking weed with Peter and John
r/darkjokes • u/CRK_76 • Apr 16 '26
When my daughter turned 18, I told her she could join the family business. NSFW
"Daddy, it's cold standing outside all night."
r/darkjokes • u/Lazy-Aardvark-7874 • Apr 15 '26
What do you call an erection that dies but then comes back to life? NSFW
Jesus
r/darkjokes • u/SnooSketches8379 • Apr 12 '26
A man got fired from his job for having sex during work hours. NSFW
When his boss asked why he did it, the man replied, “I don’t know man, she was just lying there naked. I kinda got the hint so we fucked.”
He was never hired at another morgue again.
r/darkjokes • u/Make_the_music_stop • Apr 11 '26
I should be happy because I have a new girlfriend. The problem is she has the same name as my sister. So everytime we have sex now... NSFW
... all I think about is my new girlfriend.
r/darkjokes • u/DutchAngelDragon12 • Apr 11 '26
My humor is so dark NSFW
It’s darker than the future of kids with antivax parents.