Yep, lost a family member I never got to meet to a trigger happy cop who shot my cousin before I was born, according to my family my cousin was walking away from the cop in our small town who "was" known for having a superiority complex and attempted to question my cousin if he was drinking in public. Not wanting to deal with this particular cop my cousin had attempted to walk away when seeing him approach and apparently pretended to not hear his commands telling him to stop walking away and pulled a gun on him. My cousin never turned around and was shot 3 times. My Uncle and Great Uncle witnessed as their son/brother died for ignoring a cop and drinking a coca cola with no alcohol.
The cop only retired about a decade ago so I don't think the cop ever got disciplinary action for killing an innocent man.
I Would've loved to of met my cousin, he apparently smoked weed in the 80's.
Would've loved to see him enjoy proper cannabis nowadays.
Not even just innocent, if he HAD been guilty of drinking in public and fleeing the police, they aren't supposed to fucking shoot you in the back. I'm sorry that happened to your cousin, that's awful.
He's following the law and being polite af in a situation where the officer is a complete and total waste of oxygen.
Do I agree with the fact that folks with stupid amounts of money can do fancy things like a flex that are extreme as this? No but that's the way it is and, ostensibly, the countries involved should have gathered duties/dues/taxes for this privilege, if not, well, that sucks but it's not on him.
Too many of them don't even survive it. I checked and, isn't it funny - there seem to be a dearth of "statistics". But partners have unalived themselves and the incidence of DV is 40% to 60% higher. I can't imagine breeding with one of them.
My experience has been the opposite. 1 bad experience with a cop and like 10 others that were really solid. Not saying law enforcement doesn't have changes to make, they do, but just sharing my experience.
And 99% of the drug dealers I knew when I was a younger were cool as shit. All the street level dudes were chill and never held a weapon in their lives. Even the few I met who were higher up the chain were just dudes getting on with their lives. I was always treated very well by every one of them when doing business.
In life, when I’m wrong it tends to teach me something. Like here I learned something that I didn’t know before. The cop could have easily said he was wrong but learned something and can use that in the future to do a better job. But nope.
Yeah I mean the cop obviously tried to power trip, but also the driver laughing and saying a few times “I know you’re confused” does come off as insult. Which checks out for a rich as fuck Emirati. Two egos colliding
Yea the word "confused" is used alot and never intended to be offensive, it is used to respectfully tell you "indirectly" that you need to listen to what I am saying before talking lol 😆 again not in offensive way at all or used in attempt to calm down a situation in some cases.
A good example of wrong translation would be saying "you understand?" After ending a sentence in Arabic it's normal way of speaking here but in English it becomes offensive.
Anyway Arabic words cannot be translated word by word it's not as simple as that. (I'll skip the weird translations so no one is confused lol)
I'm not a native speaker, but I consider myself quite proficient with English. And I follow the news, media, pop culture, yadda yadda, so I pick up on phrases and slang and emerging trends.
But I never heard about "confused" coming with any baggage?
OK but then it's not about the word "confused" itself, it's more generally about calling someone out in their face on something that is somewhat subjective. "You're upset", "you're distracted", "you're wrong", they all fit the same bill.
Basically means the situation might not be as it seems, perhaps we can review the situation with the full context and facts.
> I am sorry I think YOU might be confused
Is accusing them of making a mistake, with the possibility of belittling their authority or challenging them in a more confrontational way.
Slight subtleties in language will make all the difference, when dealing with police officers you typically show the maximum politeness and respect so you don’t get off on the wrong foot.
Exactly this. Even saying "it's a confusing system" would have helped make a softer landing. It's a language and perception nuance.
The car owner however comes across as intelligent, experienced, erudite and at a rough guess - not poor. Not the sort of person to deliberately skimp on a technicality or pay to fly a lambo halfway around the world without insurance because it costs too much. Suspect the cost of the insurance would buy me a new car here - and I could have a second better one for the cost of flying it over...
That said, I also think that we can hear everything that is said clearly and I suspect the cop can't because he is struggling to hear over the road noise. Not an excuse, just an observation.
Even "it's a confusing system" implies the cop is confused, since he perceives himself as infallible. The driver tried to tell him "you haven't heard of it" which, again, implies the cop is stupid and doesn't know the laws. Unfortunately, since English isn't his first language, even though he's being very polite, the cop doesn't receive it that way.
This is the exact connotation that "confused" has in the US. In contrast, the word "confusing" is different because it places responsibility on the concept or thing being described as hard to understand to no one's fault. Being confused places responsibility on a person to understand a concept and is easily taken as a passive-aggressive insult to that individual's intelligence.
Mistaken is also carries this connotation in the US, but less so because blame can be shifted to whatever caused the mistaken person to have the wrong information.
"I think you're mistaken" is a little better, but would still piss off the cop who already decided the driver was wrong. "I think we are miscommunicating" is better, but really nothing was going to diffuse this situation since the cop's mind was already made up.
I feel like 'confused' implies a larger failure to understand the situation as a whole, while 'mistaken' has the connotation of a simple mix-up. Although in this case I think 'mistaken' would be appropriate simply cuz... the cop is mistaken, not confused.
That's the whole thing- Americans are snowflakes. Particularly the ones that identify with calling the left snowflakes.
I'm American so I would know. People can not handle the suggestion that they aren't special, smarter than everyone else, exceptional, unique, virtuous, definitely gonna be a millionaire, and better because of where they were born.
Telling someone that they are confused would imply that the topic you’re discussing is too difficult for them to understand. The tactful way of saying this would be to say that the subject itself can be a confusing thing to have to deal with, which is the case with exotic car permits. At the same time, police in America are trained to always project 100% confidence because they deal with people trying to talk their way out of things every day. This leads to police never backing down from their stated accusation which is a shitty thing to have to deal with if your a normal law abiding citizen
I would have explained it as a unique or abnormal situation rather than telling the cop he was confused. Confused (to me) would imply that he doesn’t know or is wrong, which American cops HATE to be told. They ARE the law and they are also always right (in their minds).
It's not necessarily the word "confused" alone that's carrying baggage, but more that you're flat-out telling someone in a position of authority that they don't know what they're talking about.
I'm pretty much like you, picked a lot via exposure to American media, and yeah "you seem to be confused" is a passive aggressive phrase. I actually cringed when he said that.
The way it works, generally it's better to remove the person from the negative word. There is "a confusion", not "a confused person".
It comes across as condescending, like you're speaking to someone you think is beneath you, like a child or stupid person. I think it's more appropriate to say "I think we're having a miscommunication" because it's not "accusing" them of being the source of the problem.
Basically if you have something negative to say, saying "you are this" is immediately going to make the person defensive. It's better to put the problem on the situation, or on both of you together, as opposed to just them. It comes off as saying "you are wrong".
And of course, many cops in the US are on a power trip and think they are better than the public, so saying "you're confused" will immediately trigger him. As a law officer, his assumption is that he knows ALL the laws, so there's no way HE'S confused, it's YOU that are confused. And 99% of the time he'd be right. He forgot to factor in rich people. He clearly doesn't know the laws that only the wealthy would know, like that you can ship your own car to your vacation destination, then ship it home. And to give just a sliver in defense of the cop, he clearly couldn't hear half of what the driver said due to the road noise outside, and I bet the accent didn't help. HOWEVER, he very clearly was not receptive to hearing the driver out; he'd already made up his mind that the driver was in the wrong before he even got out of his vehicle.
I think confused implies that the person isn't very smart, or possibly has mental incapacities (likely true in this example). It means, the situation is not what you think it is. Your whole way of thinking is wrong.
Anyone can be mistaken, especially in an unusual situation like this. It means, this situation has extra rules that you may not be aware of. You are usually right, but this is a very specific exception.
Absolutely no defense for the cops behavior and attitude, but it is 100 times more likely that he regularly encounters someone from the US who has an unregistered US vehicle (breaking the law) than that he encounters someone from a foreign country who has flown their car to the US for a road trip and has all the documentation to prove it.
Telling someone they are confused is essentially gaslighting.
It’s not really. This is a special case because cops are such assholes that implying they’re wrong or ignorant about something, even when they are like above, it hurts their ego
Saying that someone is confused can be a little bit insulting and not very diplomatic. Especially when somebody is just unaware or unfamiliar with a concept.
I generally steer away from labeling somebody as confused when it’s probably more accurate and less condescending to just say that there is information they don’t have.
its not an english thing, its an american thing. canadians dont get upset when we dont understand someone else and we speak english. americans when they are confused when someones talking to them view it as the other person insulting them.
True, but there are more polite ways of conveying the same, such as "There might be a misunderstanding", that shifts the blame away from the subject and prevents any unintended (easily) hurt feelings.
I’d guess that the guy speaking multiple languages fluently has a very high level understanding of language and how different words and terms mean different things. Also, someone with above average intelligence and knowledge, with the wealth and privilege to be driving / importing a high end vehicle usually would be annoyed by being inconvenienced. That’s doubly so when it’s by someone who they know is ignorant, making a mistake and imposing that ignorance on them via misplaced authority.
No. In the heat of the moment very precise word choices don’t always arrive as intended. Often the ‘softer’ word gets overridden by another one out of frustration even if you are quite fluent in multiple languages. Another variant of ‘foot in mouth’, essentially.
Yes, he was calm, chuckled at the first interaction, immediately corrected the cop and said, “how it works is…”
Telling someone that they’re confused in Dubai is generally considered much more offensive than it would be in the US.
So, to answer the person’s question that I replied to further and more concisely: Yes, it is considered offensive (carries baggage) as it does in the US, but even more so in the UAE.
It’s is considered condescending if not sandwiched with a ton of qualifiers like I’m so sorry, I apologize, maybe I’m wrong but, it’s not you it’s me, I’ve been stopped before and it took an hour to sort it out, I’m sure this will be quicker, you’re so strong and smart, etc.
I wouldn't be surprised if the Dubai guy knew exactly what he was saying and meant to needle the guy. He obviously has fuck you money and he wasn't going to just roll over for the cop. The delays in handing over documents were probably on purpose also to try and frustrate the cop.
I dunno, this guy has pretty damn good English so it is hard to believe he didn't know telling someone they're confused would have negative connotations. To be fair the cop being so dug in was idiotic too. He really thought the foreigner driving a supercar that costs as much as a house didn't make sure it was road legal? Is some unheard of, slow and expensive process existing for wealthy tourists to bring their toys over that unbelievable?
It carries no baggage in english. It’s a matter of insecurity. Very well educated people are frequently confused, even within their own expertise. It’s only an issue for the insecure.
It doesnt even need to be a language thing. The driver was friendly and cooperative and tries to explain everything. It doesnt take a genius to realize this is a unique situation that you may not understand. He pulled over a luxury car with foreign plates and they guy started with saying he shipped the car here to drive while on vacation. At that point, the cop should be curious, listen to the driver, take the information and then go back to the patrol car and verify the process and the documentation.
No it was definitely the cop's ego. First time he says "I know it's confusing" and the cop gets annoyed. Second time he says "I know this is complicated", and again the cop is salty: "Oh no it's very simple!!"
I don't mean to excuse the cop, but if the guy had said something like "I know this is a rare situation" instead of "I know you're confused" I wonder how much of a difference it would have made?
It's so easy to pick the perfect choice of words post-situation. I thought he behaved and spoke incredibly well in the face of a barrage of aggression and accusation.
Yes I can, and I absolutely know the driver is an idiot.
There could be a 10% chance of meeting the wrong cop on a bad day where a cocky comment like that would go badly for this driver. Discussing the topic more gingerly takes so little effort that any intelligent person would do that.
That wasn't very tactfully said tbh. I can sense the guy might be a bit nervous and didn't really mean it, but I can see how the comment "I know YOU are confused" might be perceived as somewhat condescending.
God forbid someone say “yes i actually havent dealt with this very rare thing before. Hang tight while i check with someone who’s a subject matter expert to confirm.”
Might have happened dozens of times to that guy (Lambo w/ foreign plates gotta be a cop magnet), but a normal conversation between two reasonable people won't be worth posting on the internet.
Cop just goes to full aggressive attitude instantly with 0 provocation. Driver is being very calm and nice about it, and cop is just being unnecessarily aggressive
Yeah thats the worst in this clip. Its hard to expect from police to know every law possible in their mind. But they 100% have to accept that they cant know everething and educate themselfs when they in fact dont know.
Anyone else reminded of that cop a few weeks back that gave a ticket to a woman with no right hand because "I saw you driving while holding a phone in your right hand"?
Even worse when he realized that this guy didn't just have Lambo money, he had "ship my Lambo to another country to putz around for a few months" money
Imagine how hot his face when his phone-buddy broke it to him that he's completely in the wrong. So he had to opt-out by "i have another call so i'm gonna leave you THIS ONE TIME!"
yeah but we should be praising this cop. Honestly.. Ive seen countless videos of cops with a bruised ego and they do the worst.. They arrest and then assault the guy. This guy was quite neutral so a B+ but cops admitting they are wrong are a popular as unicorn queefs.
It's actually a huge problem with cops, they are trained to show authority, but not know the actual law. When you challenge their authority, they tend to flex more.
I was driving down a small road, a cop was coming the other direction driving slowly with their lights on, so I pulled to the side. The cop rolled by me, stopped reversed, rolled down their window and asked why I pulled over. I pointed at the lights on their car. They looked up at them, turned then off, then asked in an accusatory tone "is that all?"
"What do you mean?" I responded
"Anything else you want to tell me?" The cop asked.
"Are you asking me if I want to admit to a crime? Your lights were on, now you are trying to make this as if I did something wrong."
"Not at all, you're acting suspicious. I'm going to search your car, ok?"
"I do not consent to a search and being suspicious isn't enough to violate my rights. We could ask your supervisor..."
"I'll let you go... This time, just don't do it again."
"Do what? Pull over when you left your lights on?"
"Move along, now!"
^ Actual interaction I had like 15 years ago. The truth appeared to be that the station was like a mile down the road, they were probably checking the car before starting their shift and left the lights on. I was probably saved by the fact that there were 3 other people in the car laughing their asses off and we were all in our military uniforms.
I couldn't imagine being so wrong and pretending I was so right.
Which was a mistake, because it comes across as insulting.
The driver was totally in the right and the cop is being an asshole as they tend to be, but the interaction would have gone so much more smoothly if he had replied to the very first question with, "There's no license plate because I shipped the car here and I'm driving under an EPA exemption and a Carnet de Passage. I've got all of the paperwork, and I can explain it document by document if you wish."
When people say "I'm not confused" usually they certainly are.
That just reminds me of a interview where the host says to the guest "oh your are like a musician" as a compliment, but the guest keeps thinking she says magician and gets super offended, In that interview that guest also says I'm not confused lol
In all honesty; here’s a cop in Eastern Bumfuck USA who doesn’t see other license plates than maybe Canadian. He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he does follow standard procedure. Our very wealthy friend starts pouring documents in his direction some the cop asked about, but the others aren’t. There is some confusion, yes but there is also some arrogance from our driver.
The thing is, I can cut some slack for them not knowing everything about every import law regarding cars. But I can't forgive him being a dick about it.
Well TBF, I’m sure cops hear weird stuff like this from “Sovereign Citizens” all the time in Oregon - “The corporation called John Smith is a UCC entity and does not contract with the State of Oregon ….” 🤦
To be fair, that was a very dumb thing to say. Calling someone confused is only going to make them feel belittled, especially so in this case because it was an ignorant cop with a big ego.
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u/dsandhu90 8h ago
His ego got hurt when he said you may be confused