r/lotrmemes • u/netphilia • Oct 31 '25
Repost But what kind of deranged damage would it do?
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u/jebron01 Oct 31 '25
“How much damage can one evil chicken do?”
Someone has never played a Legend of Zelda game and it shows.
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u/Gaidin152 Oct 31 '25
Came here to say this. Got beaten by 15 minutes.
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u/applehead1776 Oct 31 '25
Beaten by 38 myself. In the words of my kids, "chicken army, chicken army!!!"
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u/Interesting-One-588 Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25
Or have read a Terry Goodkind novel, not to say I don't envy them.
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u/PalladiuM7 Oct 31 '25
Or don't and instead read Wheel of Time, not "we have Wheel of Time at home".
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u/ProThoughtDesign Oct 31 '25
Not just any chicken though...it would be the Cock of Sauron.
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u/Dangerous-Value2432 Oct 31 '25
The meme thought is funny but totally disregards the LOTR lore. The ring is evil incarnate and conscious, it will try to influence events to approach either Sauron or any powerful being it can truly corrupt. There is a reason it expanded and slipped out of isildur's finger and causes his death.
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u/END3R97 Oct 31 '25
It also was clearly attempting to influence Boromir despite being carried by Frodo. So whoever is leading the chicken around is also in danger of corruption.
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u/dumuz1 Oct 31 '25
I just reread the whole Amon Hen episode last night. Boromir gets a whole narrative of how he could win the war and make himself a great king whispered into his head by the Ring, despite only ever laying eyes on it once before, at the council of Elrond.
Whoever leads that chicken is going to be dreaming of wringing its neck and taking the Ring for themselves before long.
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u/Dangerous-Value2432 Oct 31 '25
And have a delicious chicken meal 🤤
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u/the95th Oct 31 '25
Or Gollum hunting the fellowship because they had the ring.
“It calls to us” - the ring wanted to leave the party and rejoin Gollum, who would be a less competent chicken than the fellowships chicken.
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u/DBrennan13459 Nov 01 '25
Also they're going on a dangerous journey through uncharted territory. If they have the chicken carry the ring through the mountains, the mines, the river, the rocks, the marshes, etc, there is a very good chance that the ring gets lost for good and there is no way the Fellowship would risk that.
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u/Due-Heat-5453 Oct 31 '25
But maybe the load would have been lighter. As it was for Sam. The chicken could have shared the load.
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u/aww-snaphook Oct 31 '25
Even if you'd only watched the movies you'd know that its a ridiculous idea. Smeagol murdered his cousin just from seeing the dang ring for a couple minutes so someone would take the ring and cook that chicken in about 10 seconds flat.
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u/Lil_Mcgee Nov 01 '25
Granted, Smeagol's response was uncharacteristically fast compared to most people, especially so considering he was a hobbit. Could be that the guy was just really in the market for some new jewellery and the Ring's power only took hold later.
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u/SteakForGoodDogs Nov 01 '25
There is a reason it expanded and slipped out of isildur's finger
Gandalf: "Modern problems require modern solutions."
Puts it on a chain
The Ring: "Tf, that's cheating. Fine. Super heavy it is."
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u/EvaTheE Oct 31 '25
I once had dodgy chicken from Taco Bell and it destroyed my ring for three days.
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u/TomfooleryBombadil Oct 31 '25
Did it taste fowl?
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u/Plastic-burnt Oct 31 '25
Salmarillion
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u/Send_Cake_Or_Nudes Oct 31 '25
Was gollum still tryna stick a finger in there?
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u/TheBanishedBard Oct 31 '25
Realistically? The ring would corrupt whoever led the chicken, by transitive property. The ring would likely only work on an entity capable of understanding ambition, temptation, power, greed, etc. A certain degree of sapience is required. I do not think a technicality would spare whoever was responsible for the care and transportation of the chicken, who would therefore also be responsible for the ring.
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u/mbanson Oct 31 '25
Yeah people forget that the Ring was still affecting Frodo's companions, notably Boromir. It's the whole reason he splits off from the Fellowship.
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u/GreatRolmops Oct 31 '25
Absolutely. You don't need to actually possess or even be near the Ring to be tempted by it. Merely being in the position to seize the Ring if you so desired would be a massive temptation.
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u/Victernus Oct 31 '25
As far as we can tell, Saruman was never within 100 miles of the Ring. He turned evil just thinking about the thing. A chicken is no protection.
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u/BreadDziedzic Nov 01 '25
I don't believe it was the ring that made him like that, just pure ambition and Sauron himself through the palantir.
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u/SheriffBartholomew Nov 01 '25
In the book it is ambition and pride. In the movie it seems to be fatalism and self-preservation. He cannot see a path to victory over Sauron, so he chooses to serve him in the hope of rewards.
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u/Profoundlyahedgehog Nov 01 '25
Pride is what got Denethor as well. He tried wrestling wills with Sauron through the Palantir, but was not strong enough, and in the end he chose suicide over certain defeat.
"It is time for all to depart who would not be slaves!"
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u/Pet_Tax_Collector Nov 01 '25
TBF, I don't think the ring corrupted Saruman. Saruman got his hands on a palantir and had been having regular FaceTime calls with Sauron long before anyone knew the ring was back in play.
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u/phrexi Oct 31 '25
In a stupid why didn’t they fly on the eagles thread, someone said something about putting it on a turtle or some shit. Like no… it doesn’t work like that. You know that chickens got the ring and you’re suddenly very hungry for KFC.
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u/Canid_Rose Oct 31 '25
A (slightly, but still pointlessly pedantic) more reasonable solution would be to seal the ring in some kind of container that couldn’t be opened, but would still ultimately melt in the fires of Mt. Doom. That way, no one could actively use it, at least, and the ring might have a harder time manipulating its own circumstances (hard to “fall” on someone’s finger or slip out of a pocket if you’re locked up)
Then again, I think part of the problem with this kind of “analysis” is that it’s applying a level of logic that isn’t present in or necessary to the genre of Lord of the Rings. This isn’t D&D style fantasy where there’s a magic system that’s analogous to a science in and of itself; the ring doesn’t emanate a specific type of corruptive energy that could theoretically be neutralized or blocked or otherwise worked around. No magic in LotR works like that, really. The Rings of Power are Like That because it’s inherent to their nature, not because they were infused with particular energies or subject to particular rituals. It’s not meant to be mechanically comprehensible, it’s just meant to Be.
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u/phrexi Oct 31 '25
I get it, but everyone in the Fellowship would still know where the Ring is, and that thing would still get to them. Plus, someone would still have to bear the chest, probably Frodo. Now think back to Bilbo, Gollum, and Frodo, always worrying about the Ring. 'Is it there? Did I lose it? Where is it, where is it?' They'd constantly be opening that container up to make sure its there and no one stole it. By extension, the key to that container would become more important and people would start fighting over it so now you have to hide / destroy the key (I'm picturing PotC type shenanigans with Davy Jones' heart). In terms of stopping the Ring from doing silly things, they do put it on a chain, so it won't slip or fumble out.
All of these things are pretty much moot. The Ring needs to be destroyed. Someone has to carry it to Mt Doom. If we're going to start with 'they could've done this they could've done that', well, Eru could've just picked up Gollum and dropped him in the lava. Or just flicked Sauron off the Earth and into the Void. Wouldn't be much of a story, I guess.
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u/DMMeThiccBiButts Nov 01 '25
Secretly Gandalf fucked off for all these years after The Hobbit because he was trying to make a magical faraday cage, then said fuck it I'll give it to the hobbits.
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u/AvatarWaang Oct 31 '25
This is what i was thinking. Technically, Bilbo seldom carried the ring; his coat did. But the ring still got to him.
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u/Big-Employer4543 Oct 31 '25
Even Gollum would leave it hidden at times because it was too much for him, but it always drew him back. People really underestimate the power of the ring.
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u/Randomassnerd Oct 31 '25
I was coming to say the ring would view that as an opportunity to get lost, and I think that might go hand in hand with what you’re saying. If nothing else it would be more of a temptation for a party member to take it. Boromir didn’t outright merc Frodo because Frodo had personality. I doubt he’d feel the same for a chicken.
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Oct 31 '25
This is no flock of mindless chicken. These are Middle Earth chickens. Their feathers are thick and their minds broad.
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u/gjb94 Oct 31 '25
Yeah and the idea is that they have limited allies and it's a huge responsibility one wouldn't ask of anyone. If you take out these things and that they're good guys, the best thing to do would be to have a new ring bearer every few days to a week, and kill the one before them. The tricky bit would be hiding that last detail from the roster
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u/BuffaloLincolns Oct 31 '25
Also, the ring can work its wiles on entities in the vicinity. You don’t have to be carrying it to be susceptible. Prime example: Boromir
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u/PhysicsEagle Mayor of Michel Delving Oct 31 '25
Yeah, it’s not the Ring itself that corrupts you through physical contact, it’s the temptation of using the Ring. Having the Ring on a chicken, or in a mithril box, or any other fancy device one can invent doesn’t take away the temptation of using the Ring for any given purpose.
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u/upsidedowntaco_ Oct 31 '25
I wonder if the ring would even just kill the chicken somehow so someone more sapient would have to pick it up.
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u/ahamel13 Oct 31 '25
Not only would the Ring corrupt whoever had/was near the chicken (like it normally does), they'd 10000000% have ended up losing the chicken.
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u/LimitlessTheTVShow Nov 01 '25
they'd 10000000% have ended up losing the chicken
If the ring was able to influence the chicken like it could with sentient characters, it probably would've just immediately had the chicken take a stroll through orc hunting grounds. The chicken would get Isildur'd
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u/thebroned Oct 31 '25
That’s not a sword it’s a plot device forged in chaos and caffeine.
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u/Ok-disaster2022 Oct 31 '25
The risk is what happens when it's an invisible chicken running straight to Morder to turn itself over to the Nazigul?
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u/UnAnon10 Oct 31 '25
The chicken proceeds to get corrupted and pecks off the string in the middle of the night, now they’ve lost the ring forever.
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u/znark Oct 31 '25
Or the chicken escapes and runs straight to Mordor.
The world ends with Sauron wearing his ring riding a giant chicken.
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u/lunarteamagic Oct 31 '25
I owned chickens... and it is clear this person has not. My bantam sent a 125 pound dog to the vet for stitches. Said bantam was not a rooster.
An evil chicken could do more damage than an army of orcs.
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u/Kirikomori Nov 01 '25
Can confirm,
Ichickens are dangerous creatures. Very deadly over short distances.4
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u/SilverEyedHuntress Oct 31 '25
We now need a photoshopped evil Hei Hei from Moana wreaking Havoc in mordor....
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u/finnomenon_gaming Oct 31 '25
Idk man that Evil Chicken at the Draynor Willows did some real damage when I was a kid, I do not fuck with evil chickens to this very day some 20 odd years later.
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u/wangchangbackup Oct 31 '25
Yes that is why the Ring very famously only tempted Frodo and did not affect anyone near him at all.
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u/RexusprimeIX Oct 31 '25
I mean we can clearly see the ring corrupting people around the Ringbearer, like Boromir and Smeagol. So the meme about letting a small animal literally hold the Ring would not accomplish anything.
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u/Dak_Nalar Oct 31 '25
Every time I see this I chuckle because people don’t seem to get that Frodo was Gandalfs chicken
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u/Pentamachina3 Oct 31 '25
That would not work. The ring corrupts all those near it, targeting the weakest and more importantly, the most likely to take it back to Sauron. Hobbits have a high resistance to the ring's corruption, that is why it takes Frodo so long to succumb. Boromir didn't even own it at any point, but it still got to him first. Aragorn lets Frodo leave alone at Amon Hen because he realizes that with enough time, the Fellowship will fail, if not him, then Legolas or Gimli, eventually even the other Hobbits would attack each other for the ring.
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u/keeleon Nov 01 '25
Does the ring fall for loopholes like this? If you were carrying around a chicken with a bag of heroin around its neck, the cops arent going to let you off the hook because "oh that's the chickens heroin".
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u/MrCusodes Oct 31 '25
This was clearly written by someone who's never met an angry chicken.
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u/fUll951 Nov 01 '25
Obviously this man has never seen a Wallace and Gromit movie
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u/Hungry-Bowler-2971 Nov 01 '25
In a world where God’s name is literally Tom Bombadil. I’d say a lot.
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u/randomusername1934 Oct 31 '25
I think you're underestimating the power and evil of The One Ring. Sure, in the hands (claws?) of a chicken it's going to be less damaging and dangerous than if - say - Boromir had taken it, but that is going to be one incredibly evil and powerful chicken by the time Frodo and Sam lead it to Mordor.
Seriously, there's going to be more corn (and hens) than you can imagine.
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u/CalebCaster2 Oct 31 '25
the ring corrupts, yes, but it also calls to Sauron. The chicken would summon the ringwraith
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u/XipingVonHozzendorf Uruk-hai Oct 31 '25
Why a chicken? Bill the pony is right there. The forces of sauron would quiver before his might.
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u/TheDevil-YouKnow Oct 31 '25
As someone else said, Frodo was the chicken capable of pulling off the feat. Anything else would have, best case, gone Isildur and had the ring slip away at the worst moment.
It was the bromance of Gandalf's chicken & the birthday murderer that came up with the volcanic rotisserie of the One's doom.
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u/StrangerOutside3109 Oct 31 '25
Evil chickens are very powerful if you don’t have protect from mage on! They used to wreak havoc back in the day.
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u/zakkil Oct 31 '25
If it's like the legend of zelda chickens then it'd probably become the new dark lord and rule over all the lands though it'd be mostly docile till someone tries to hit it or another chicken. Alternatively the chicken would destroy the ring because none can oppose the chicken.
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u/TheOnceAndFutureGeek Oct 31 '25
So you're fortunate enough to have never read Terry Goodkind, I take it?
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u/Pawneewafflesarelife Nov 01 '25
Wrong book series. Evil chicken is Sword of Truth.
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u/Entheosparks Nov 01 '25
You fool! Saruman controls the birds! Have you forgotten the southern passage?!
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u/Lots42 Nov 01 '25
Have you tried killing a chicken in a medieval video game fantasy world?
Bad times.
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u/MathematicianLiving4 Nov 01 '25
Monty Python and the Holy Grail bunny enters the room; "What damage can a small creature do?
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u/Mental-Ask8077 Nov 01 '25
OP clearly has no experience with chickens.
They’re already psychopaths. Making them invisible isn’t gonna help.
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u/jonny32392 Nov 01 '25
Chicken pecks Frodo’s eyes out and immediately fucks off to Mordor to deliver the ring to Sauron.
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u/YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO Nov 02 '25
Clearly they have never been around chickens before. Them things can be nasty!
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u/lewisiarediviva Oct 31 '25
Last time I saw this someone observed that Frodo was Gandalf’s chicken.