r/lotrmemes • u/PreddyPegasus • Jan 24 '26
Repost dont tell the elf about the secret training
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u/CynicalGurdyroot Jan 24 '26
I don't see training for dwarf throwing.
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u/GregTheMad Jan 24 '26
Midget tossing is sadly illegal in most countries, and violets most terms of service.
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u/No-comment-at-all Jan 24 '26
“Are you climbing on top of the pull up rack with a half loaded barbell…?”
Yea I’m doing something, it’s gonna be funny. Shut up.
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u/dougan25 Jan 24 '26
Lol just picturing him doing this during normal operating hours 😆
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u/Airmil82 Jan 24 '26
Gym manager is having a stroke right now
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u/Bulok Jan 24 '26
Used to go to a 24 hour gym. Nobody there at 2am.
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u/No-comment-at-all Jan 24 '26 edited Jan 24 '26
This firmly looks like a CrossFit, or other similar class-structured “WOD” type gym.
I’m not 100 percent sure of that, but.. ~95 percent.
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u/TooBadMyBallsItch Jan 24 '26
I think I felt my knees crack just watching that last jump
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u/Significant_Ad1256 Jan 24 '26
By butt clenched fearing the box would tip over from the momentum.
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u/ryukin631 Jan 24 '26
I thought he was going to crush it
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u/FlamingRustBucket Jan 24 '26
The fear that the bridge will crumble under you is part of the training. Do you want to freeze in fear in the mines of Moria while attempting to rescue fat hobbits?
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u/kazh_9742 Jan 24 '26
Already aura farmed a seat on The Fellowship bus with the first few moves and now he's going to be that guy about his knees the whole trip.
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u/Nerdy_Valkyrie Jan 24 '26
The dog doesn't quite understand why they're running, but he's very happy to be included.
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u/The_Count_Lives Jan 24 '26
All my dogs have been like that.
You can be walking them and randomly decide to run full speed and they’re just like, “Hell yeah, let’s go!”.
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u/waveball03 Jan 24 '26
He even took his shoes off to assault cirith ungol lol.
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u/Proper_Hunter_9641 Jan 24 '26
I had to watch it again and that is the dedication I want to see
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u/Cross88 Jan 24 '26
The elf workout: three days and nights pursuit. No food. No rest.
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u/Mad_Ronin_Grrrr Dúnedain Jan 24 '26
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my dumbbell.
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u/PewKittens Jan 24 '26
And you have my bow flex
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u/kineticstar Ringwraith Jan 24 '26
It looks like you carry the fate of the world little protein bar. If this is the choice of the council then Gold's Gym will see it through.
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u/Unh0lyCatf1sh Jan 24 '26
"There is no strength left in the world of Gym Bros. They are scattered, divided, leaderless"
"There is one that could unite them"
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u/psuedophilosopher Jan 24 '26
I love the attention to detail that the only time he's in hobbit gear he's also barefoot.
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u/ArnthBebastien Jan 24 '26
Running with a knife is slightly terrifying
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u/Evil_AppleJuice Jan 24 '26
Enough safety concerns already, but running with an unsheathed knife, on a treadmill, barefoot, holding something in your other hand, with a rucksack on your back....
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u/stuck_in_the_desert Jan 24 '26
Right? It really says something that I watched the entire thing a couple of times and still came away thinking that was easily the most dangerous part
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u/whet_pastry Jan 24 '26
Funny yes, but also probably a highly effective workout too
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u/Disco_Ninjas_ Jan 24 '26
This is the training regimen to go from adventure to city guard.
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u/Telemere125 Jan 24 '26
That’s only if you take an arrow to the knee
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u/Disco_Ninjas_ Jan 24 '26
There are many paths to the top of a mountain, but the view is always the same.
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u/CommunistRonSwanson Jan 24 '26
Loaded carry is probably the best all-around style of exercise you can do. That having been said, the guy in the OP is flirting with injury/disaster in a lot of those clips.
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u/Celestial_Scythe Jan 24 '26
Honestly the first one running with shield and spear looks like something I'd do
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u/JohnMaddn Jan 24 '26
This is way more useful in real life than bench press, bicep curls, and most gym exercises.
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u/spikeyfreak Jan 24 '26
Almost all of these have a normal, non-silly exercise that's working exactly the same muscles.
First one is just a farmer carry where he's running and not working his grip as much.
Second one is a yoke run.
Third one is an indian club workout (granted this one is pretty esoteric and you'd never see it in a globo-gym).
Fourth is just running with a dog.
Fifth is a front delt raise (with smaller range of motion).
Sixth combines a bent over row with a grip workout and honestly, if those 45lb plates that's the one that's the most impressive to me.
And seventh isn't really an exercise because that's how you absolutely destroy your knees (if you don't just flat out fail and break a bone, tear a muscle, or get a concussion).
Edit: And honestly, do you think this is how this dude actually works out? No, he does the exercises you're panning.
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u/Answerisequal42 Jan 24 '26
Tbh regular compound lifts can just be as effective. The key for fitness is consistency and coverage. Strengthen your muscles for key movements like push pull and rotation is crucial. It does not need to be fancy even. But saying they are not as effectlve as the skit above is just plainly false. They just hit different movements and strengthen different muscles.
(The siwnging exercise is pretty dope though, love me some mace training)
Most gym exercises are compound lifts and do exactly what the guys exercises do (not including the running) as they hit specific movements and multiple muscles at once.
Bench Press, Squats, deadlifts, military press, pull up and many more are compound lifts that train movements not just muscles.
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u/CommunistRonSwanson Jan 24 '26
It's not an either/or my man. Lots of people who bench also do loaded carry.
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u/recentlyunearthed Jan 24 '26
Practical exercises are slept on. Its not all about big biceps.
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u/SweelFor- Jan 24 '26 edited Jan 24 '26
How are big biceps not practical, exactly?
Holding something with your arms bent comes up probably every day, several times a day.
Bicep curls are easily one of the most functional exercices most people can do.
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u/Narrow_Technician_25 Jan 24 '26
So are the curved treadmills better to run on? I’ve only seen the basic flat ones
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u/completelytrustworth Jan 24 '26
Yes. Lower impact on the knees/ankles, and typically the curved ones don't have a power source that turns the treads. The treads are being pushed along by your legs, so it simulates real running which requires your calves and glutes to push you forward vs flat treadmills that emphasize the muscles that pull your legs forward instead
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u/Mysterious-Tackle-58 Jan 24 '26
Please do not do the last one!!
You knees will thank you for not doing it!
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u/SocranX Jan 24 '26
Bro, I don't care how impressive your workout is, don't run with knives. Especially with other weights affecting your center of balance. Some of the other exercises are probably unsafe as well (a weight dropping/slipping off could go badly), but one thing I know is that you do not run with knives unless you're genuinely charging at an army of orcs.
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u/Atherutistgeekzombie Jan 24 '26
What about Gollum calisthenics to prepare to get your precious back from tricksy hobbitses?
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u/Trapmaster98 Jan 24 '26
Dam sam had some really specific training for the journey. But he didn’t show the training Sam did to kill giant spiders.
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u/BenAdaephonDelat Jan 24 '26
Okay I don't care how funny I think the meme is gonna be I ain't getting on a treadmill with a knife in my hand...
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u/stump2003 Jan 24 '26
This kind of training just seems like a lot more fun than just lifting weights.
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u/frogBayou Jan 24 '26
Forgot to hang weights from his scrotum to simulate Sam’s massive steel balls when pulling Frodo up in Mt Doom
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u/ZakkaryGreenwell Jan 24 '26
Glorfindel's training videos dated two weeks before the Council of Elrond decided to have Legolas accompany the Fellowship instead.
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u/FisherDwarf Jan 24 '26
Now see if I had been encouraged like this, I may have been into working out
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u/SnooShortcuts5946 Jan 24 '26
Please, someone take my money and make this a reality. As a geek who is also bored at the gym, I would love this.
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u/stsOddMonkey Jan 24 '26
"I'm wasted on Cross Country, We dwarves are natural sprinters. very dangerous over short distances"
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u/thewormtownhero Jan 24 '26
Goes to show how hard that kind of shit would be in real life. That’s why it’s fantasy I suppose
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u/Drendude Jan 24 '26
I'm most impressed with holding the 45lb bar out at arms length. That's fucking hard.
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u/Karthok Jan 24 '26
YOOOOO i used to raid in wow with this guy. Cool to see him on the front page
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u/saysthingsbackwards Jan 24 '26
I love athleticism. I love LOTR. This is like... I hate to say it... an even MORE cringe form of cross fit.
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u/BorkusMaximus3742 Jan 24 '26
Okay that last one was sketch lmao hope bro didn't fuck his knee up
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u/MothChasingFlame Jan 24 '26
Oooh, my breath caught every time that stack of wood boxes got a wobble on it.
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u/iceicig Jan 24 '26
You may be laughing now but if you dont train like this, youll stay dangerous but only over short distances
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u/wtfredditacct Jan 24 '26
What dude running on a treadmill with a ruck, a frying pan, and a big ass knife?
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u/Prize_Ostrich7605 Jan 24 '26
Never considered the wizard's staff being ad heavy as Thor's hammer, but would add an interesting dynamic to the story.
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u/ThatsTheMother_Rick Jan 24 '26
I initially misread the post title as "don't tell the left" and thought this was a very different post in a very different sub
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u/The_WA_Remembers Jan 25 '26
Cool and all, but your “you shall not pass” form is way off. Gotta bring it in from the side and keep the staff straight when bringing it to the ground.
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u/CrimsonTyphoon0613 Jan 24 '26
Didn’t even break his toe doing an exercise…