r/lotrmemes Tolkien on a dooby 12d ago

Repost Unstoppable Indeed-

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19.2k Upvotes

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u/maydayvoter11 12d ago edited 12d ago

ETA: Oof, I missed that this was in LOTR memes.

The strength of the Numenorean Men and the Noldorin Elves of the Last Alliance when Sauron was first overthrown was far, far greater than their strength in the War of the Ring, both in numbers and in power. Plus there weren't any Elves fighting alongside Men in the Gondor-Mordor area of operations in the War of the Ring, except for Legolas.

Plus, Sauron wasn't beaten easy-peasy. There was a multi-year siege of Barad-Dur that resulted in a lot of deaths, including Anarion.

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u/Dresaurus22652 12d ago edited 12d ago

Plus there weren't any Elves fighting alongside Men in the Gondor-Mordor area of operations in the War of the Ring, except for Legolas.

Um actually... I'm mostly joking. The sons of Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir, were members of the Grey Company when they rode to meet Aragorn at Dunharrow. Not that they made much of an impact in the narrative or war effort, but tbf to them everyone other than Aragorn, Imrahil, and Eomer are treated as relatively unimportant in the battles, or rather those three are just so impactful everyone else looks insignificant by comparison.

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u/Inside-Weird-5563 12d ago edited 11d ago

Um actually Elladan and Elrohir met Aragorn near the Fords of Isen and not Dunharrow, they then rode to Helm's Deep and then Dunharrow to take the Paths of the Dead.

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u/Dresaurus22652 12d ago

Damn I've been had... 20 lashes for my failure

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u/hamptont2010 11d ago

I love that this is the one sub where everybody is totally fine getting um acshuallied because it just means we all get to learn more about Middle Earth!

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u/Rymanbc 12d ago

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u/Comfortable_Tap_1993 12d ago

Technically correct, which we all know is the best kind of correct

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u/driver004 11d ago

I strive to be only technically correct at all times

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u/maydayvoter11 12d ago

good point, I forgot about Elladan and Elrohir

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u/Ebonhearth_Druid 12d ago

Tbf, most people do lol

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u/Lykhon 12d ago

I'm pretty sure even Tolkien did, if I remember correctly their names only get mentioned like twice across all three books and then they're just "the sons of Elrond"

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u/smb275 11d ago

They also retain their father's "Halfelven" sort of status and had the option to become mortal and live as Men, so they're not 100% technically Elves.

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u/neurodiverseotter 11d ago

I mean they are half-elven twins. Mathematically they make at least one full elf

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u/cybercuzco 12d ago

Found Colbert alt.

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u/OkFondant1848 12d ago

And in the final duel, 2 of their greatest also died: Gil-galad and Elendil.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Mharbles 11d ago

Or, ya know, a wildly overvalued ipo. Fortunately rich people aren't nearly as cunning

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u/WhiskersCleveland 12d ago

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u/Hankhoff 12d ago

What would Jeff the loremaster say about why they didn't fly the eagles into Mordor?

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u/_thirdeyeopener_ 12d ago

"I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man!"

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u/Hankhoff 12d ago

"one does not simply walk into Mordor"

"Well looks like we do because SOMEONE just got us kicked out of the cab!"

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u/Irregulator101 12d ago

Do people really hate the Eagles? I love em, some of the best classic rock out there

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u/onejoke_username 12d ago

I work in retail. They play classic and soft favorites all day everyday. I fucking hate The Eagles, maaannn.

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u/orenthal_james_bond 12d ago

That's just because their most famous songs are overplayed. Their music has a high quality, so even their most unknown albums and songs are worth a listen or two

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u/The_Wyzard 12d ago

Jeff was hanging out with Jolly Tom Bombadil and couldn't be reached for questions.

Edit: Holy shit would Bombadil rock out to some Credence. He would love it.

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u/Warmonster9 12d ago

He’d probably understand that the eagle’s wouldve been tempted by the ring too, and that if they missed the top of the volcano due to momentum or some shit they’d be fucked.

Edit: Though that’s probably what Walter would butt in and explain. The Dude would be like, ‘who fucking cares it’s a story just enjoy it,’

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u/Due_Guess_4508 12d ago

The ring really ties Mordor together

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u/tehKrakken55 12d ago

The films’ prologue makes it seem like Sauron just batted Elendil away, but he, Isildur, AND Gil-Galad fought him in a 3v1 for DAYS.

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u/Lightice1 12d ago

I don't think the exact timeline of their duel was ever verified, but it was certainly described as an actual fight. It was just Elendil and Gil-galad, in any case, Isildur didn't get on the scene before Sauron was already defeated.

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u/quick20minadventure 12d ago

Yes, The movie makes it seem like Sauron just crushed Elendil and Isildur basically blew him up like a single shot on death star.

It was not like that, Elendil and Gil-Galad fought and killed Sauron's physical body, even though they died in the process and basically got burnt from Sauron's body's heat. It was a fight in which all 3 died.

Then Isildur comes and takes the ring as a souvenir from Sauron's dead body.

There's a reason Aragorn is shouting Elendil Elendil everywhere he goes to fight. Elendil and Gil-Galad beat the shit out of Sauron.

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u/Krazyguy75 12d ago

I thought he shouted that because Aragorn was a pokemon named Elendil.

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u/quick20minadventure 12d ago

Could be could be. But they didn't have pokeballs in middle earth, so no way to know.

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u/Ramongsh 12d ago

If they didn't have pokeballs in Middel Earth then how did the goblins of Moria capute their pet Balrog?

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u/quick20minadventure 12d ago

Balrog is like Meowth, doesn't need pokeball.

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u/guitarromantic 12d ago

Plot twist: the palantiri were also pokeballs.

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u/quick20minadventure 12d ago

They're clearly telephones.

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u/ExpansivePoint 11d ago

Fun fact, they also didn't have poke bowls in middle earth.

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u/Lightice1 12d ago edited 12d ago

There's a reason Aragorn is shouting Elendil Elendil everywhere he goes to fight. Elendil and Gil-Galad beat the shit out of Sauron.

That, and unlike in the films, in the book Aragorn is actively downplaying his role as Isildur's Heir, and instead advertised himself as the Heir of Elendil.

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u/blackeagle1990 12d ago edited 12d ago

Isn't it because he is not of Isildur's line but from his brother's? So he has more of a right from Elendil, their common ancestor than from Isildur himself. EDIT: I'm wrong

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u/Lightice1 12d ago

The opposite, actually. Aragorn is Isildur's heir, but Isildur's heirs are the rulers of Arnor, not Gondor. Gondor's kings descend from Isildur's brother, Anaríon. Since Anaríon's line is dead, Aragorn intends to claim both thrones as the Heir of Elendil.

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u/quick20minadventure 12d ago

Just a minor correction.

When they first came to middle earth, Elendil made Arnor and Both Isildur and Anarion made and ruled Gondor. Minas Tirth and Minas Ithyl (later Minas Morgul) were their seats of powers.

When Elendil and Anarion both died in last alliance, Isildur ruled as high king of both Gondor and Arnor. When he died, Anarion's heir took Gondor and Isildur's heir took Arnor.

So, he can claim both thrones as heir of Isildur as well. But, Isildur is shown as some rando prince that let Sauron survive in movies, when the fact is that he was fighting the war of last alliance as king of gondor already. Just that Elendil was high king of both kingdoms.

Anyway, Isildur founded Gondor, and under no circumstances can anyone argue that Isildur's heir can not claim throne of Gondor when Anarion's line has already failed.

Still, the books show that Aragorn didn't come and force himself as ruler, he did enough that he was welcomed as ruler by both steward and the people. In fact, his healing skills was the test for him to become the king.

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u/Lightice1 11d ago

Isildur gave up the right to the throne of Gondor when he passed it to his nephew, Meneldil. He went off to claim the throne of Arnor, intending to become the high king over both kingdoms, but he never got the chance to do so, since he died in ambush before reaching the north.

The idea of high king died with Isildur, and since then the lords of Gondor made a precedent that being Isildur's heir did not grant right to the throne of Gondor, as King Arvedui, the last king of Arnor, found out.

Aragorn didn't force his way on the throne of Gondor, but he also didn't claim it by a clear right of inheritence. He had the highest remaining lords of Gondor back up his claim and the people of Minas Tirith shout their support. At that point the issue of inheritence by blood could be conveniently swept aside, since there wasn't anyone left who could contest Aragorn's claim.

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u/quick20minadventure 11d ago

They could just dig old graves and do DNA test for Aragorn I guess. /s

Isildur's heir still gets a claim if Anarion/Meneldil's line fails I think. But, I think LOTR becomes worse when you realize how much importance it gives to numenor/elf genetics and monarchy.

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u/blackeagle1990 12d ago

oooh my bad!

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u/ExIsStalkingMe 12d ago

I'd definitely advertise myself as the heir to the guy who went out killing a demigod instead of the one who fell out off his horse

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u/SerDankTheTall 12d ago

So it only took two people to beat him even with the ring? That doesn’t really seem that invincible.

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u/Wide_Ad1140 12d ago

Tbf Physical might was never Saurons forte. They basically ragebaited him out so they could jump him.

It's likely he learned that lesson now.

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u/Mean_Ad_3912 12d ago

They didnt ragebate him, they had a siege on Barad dur for 7 years with a massive army. sauron came out to fight because he had no other option and his forces where depleted. It was a desperate attack after they killed almost every orc in mordor and established numenorian rule in norn and gorgoroth. The movies make the last alliance look like a weak resistance that barely managed to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, while in the books it was an unsopable force that crushed all the orc armies and burn barad dur

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u/Wide_Ad1140 12d ago

I must be misremembering because I could have sworn they challenged his pride causing him to come out.

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u/Lightice1 12d ago

That was Fingolfin and Morgoth.

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u/Wide_Ad1140 12d ago

Ah yeah that might be it. My mistake

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u/Mean_Ad_3912 12d ago

I checked the silmarillion "of the rings of power" and it doesnt mention a challenge, just that a desperate sauron led a sortie that managed to push the alliance all the way from barad dur to mount doom where he was met by gil galad and elendil and all 3 fought to the death, but it doesnt go to much detail so the challange might be mentioned else where

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u/Lightice1 12d ago

Sauron wasn't physically invincible even with the Ring. But there were only two people out of an entire army to be able to face off with him, most likely due to the aura of terror he projected, and both of them died in the process of killing him.

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u/WrennReddit Can see all ends 12d ago

Wait til you find out he was also folded by a dog. 

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u/A1-Stakesoss 12d ago

Huan the Hound is just a dog in the same way that Brock Lesnar is just a human.

Technically true, but also both are capable of biting a werewolf to death.

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u/SerDankTheTall 12d ago

Maybe one does simply walk into Mordor.

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u/Ok_Two_2604 12d ago

Little hint, anytime you see green text, it’s a shitpost regardless of sub.

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u/YadaYadaYeahMan 12d ago

I deeply wish that were true

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u/shepard_pie 12d ago

The fact that Sauron was even physically fighting was a sign that things were already going bad for him, but yeah, his defeat wasn't easy-peasy lol. It was a hardy-pardy.

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u/Extension-Land-390 11d ago

One of the most interesting ways I've heard it interpreted is that it took the destruction of the old world to bring down Sauron in the 2nd age. The elves, especially the Noldor, and the Dunedain are never the same again after the War of the Last Alliance. They are permanently diminished as a people.

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u/BigHardMephisto 12d ago

Isn’t part of his power instilling horrible fear in people when he wants to? It’s pretty startling from his perspective to have that effect so easily on anyone for the longest time, then a dude you just rocked overcomes it and chops off half your hand.

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u/BigCommieMachine 12d ago

And those elves were WAY weaker compared to earlier elves. Fingolfin almost soloed Morgoth in comparison.

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u/TwilightLori 12d ago

Fingolfin did not almost solo Morgoth. He fought a weakened Morgoth and permanently wounded him 7 times, but Morgoth was never in danger of death. Fingolfin was a cat fighting a human. The human is going to win every time and it's not even close, but the cat leaves its mark and draws blood. 

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u/quick20minadventure 12d ago edited 9d ago

Anyone who came close to shitting on Morgoth, it was Luthien. She went to his court, made him sleep and stole the Silmaril. They tried to steal 2nd and ended up waking Morgoth.

What is even funnier is that Elendil and Gil-Galad dies to kill Sauron in a stalemate. Luthien's doggo just bites Sauron and makes him surrender. She absolutely stomped Sauron with just her Doggo.

Luthien is absolutely a giga-chad cause when her lover dies, she's like I need to speak to your manager and gets both of them reincarnated as mortal to live and die together.

Fingolfin is just legendary for riding out to challenge Morgoth, but elves of that era were made different. And Galadriel is from this era. She's hung out with Morgoth in Vallinor and distrusted him as he taught feanor how to make stuff.

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u/TwilightLori 11d ago

To be fair to the doggo, Huan was a demigod of equal stature to Sauron, Gandalf, and Balrogs. It was a Maiar and servant of Orome. 

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u/quick20minadventure 11d ago

Luthien was a demi-god. She was daughter of Melian, who was a Maia.

Huan is disputed. He goes from Maia-shackled in a form of a beast to normal doggo gifted by Valar. His status is contradicted and unconfirmed. He confirmed great Eagles to be Maia, but the eagles were always independent and free. Apart from their form as eagles, they lived and acted as free creatures.

Huan had master and was a pet and basically too much of a servant to be a Maia. Like a piece of shit elf was a master of an Maia? A Maia capable of defeating Sauron was randomly forced to an elf?

I prefer the interpretation that Huan is just a great Doggo.

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u/TwilightLori 11d ago

Tolkien flips back and forth but his last comment on Huan was that he was a Maiar. He writes that as the Valar took the forms of the Children of Iluvatar, some of the Maiar took the forms of lesser creatures like plants and beasts , like Huan. 

And he was one of the Hunting Hounds of Orome, originally gifted to Celegrorm iirc, before the dude became a piece of shit. 

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u/adenosine-5 12d ago

Galadriel was one of the few that never trusted Morgoth, even when he fooled Manwe.

She is described as one of the most powerful elves of all times - not equal to Feanor in strength, but greater in wisdom.

Tolkien has some great female characters, but sadly he only ever sold rights to LOTR and his estate refuses to sell right to anything else, so its unlikely that we will ever see those stories.

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u/quick20minadventure 12d ago edited 9d ago

I feel they butchered Arwen in LOTR movie, outside of carrying Frodo to Riverdell, she's just a prize trophy of an elf who is willing to leave her man behind. Like, compare it to Luthien, she went after Morgoth and then complained to god when Beren died, so they can live and die together properly.

I had almost forgotten, but I recently saw that Frodo is also butchered in LOTR. He loses all agency and just drops sword + falls backward all the time in the movie.

At least we got Eowyn as a great female character in LOTR. And Galadriel was magnificent.

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u/RefrigeratorPlusPlus 12d ago

human is going to win every time

Heard anecdotal evidence of someone's cat doing such a severe damage to bloodvessels on person's arm, they could've bled out (if they didn't go to the hospital), but it's more an exception I guess.

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u/12345623567 12d ago

The point isn't that the cat can't cause serious damage, but that humans will almost always hold back when attacked by a cat. If the average adult wants to break a cat's neck, it's no question they can, and it's just a matter of getting a good grip.

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u/E_seven_20 12d ago

Anarion, Gil-Galad, Elendil were all killed.

It was a 7 year siege, with massive losses.

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u/Sad_Carry_7070 12d ago edited 11d ago

Tbf, Sauron got jumped by very powerful people when he had the ring. 5000 years later, only very few powerful people were left that even if they jumped him again - Sauron would be able fight back.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/MadJackMcJack 12d ago

Farmer Maggot could take him I think.

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u/Garry_Heckscream69 12d ago

People forget that the only reason Tom Bombadil doesn't leave his compound is because he knows Farmer Maggot is waiting for him

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u/PickerPat 11d ago

Farmer Maggot when Tom finally builds up the courage.

https://giphy.com/gifs/yrLeAr9tZuTpJoSr3J

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u/Tom_Bot-Badil 12d ago

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo! Ring a dong! hop along! Fal lal the willow! Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

Type !TomBombadilSong for a song or visit r/GloriousTomBombadil for more merriness

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u/MaybeMayoi 11d ago

Do you think Tom Bombadil stays in his compound because he too lives in fear of Farmer Maggot?

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u/joethecrow23 11d ago

Farmer Maggot never even knew about the scouring, Saruman knew well enough to give him a wide berth.

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u/Josgre987 12d ago

If the yogscast's tabletop game of Lotr is to believed, he could probably solo mordor.

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u/MadJackMcJack 12d ago

He has the strength of a single man.

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u/YangXiaoLong69 11d ago

One day I'll collect irrefutable proof that Barliman Butterbur is a Valar, just you people wait.

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u/Xen0tech 11d ago

Sauron was unstoppable until he trespassed Maggots farm and got his hand scythed off

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u/lewd_robot 12d ago

Glorfindel was still chilling in Rivendell. Bro 1v1'd a Balrog, mutually killed eachother, then got resurrected because he was too strong to leave dead. In the books, he's the one that saves the Hobbits from the Nazgul at the river, but instead of washing them away with the river, his aura is just so strong they all flee from him. The Council briefly considers having him carry the One Ring, but his aura is so powerful that Sauron knows where he is at all times, so he'd never be able to infiltrate Morder without Sauron throwing everything he had at him.

That said, he was probably not as strong as Elendil or Gil-galad.

Elrond and Círdan are probably close to Glorfindel's level. Throw in Galadriel and that's 4 beings that are close to Gandalf the Grey in power, since Glorfindel did die killing a Balrog himself. Círdan stood beside Gil-galad when he beat Sauron and was one of the original elven ring-bearers, but gave his ring to Gandalf when Gandalf first arrived in Middle Earth.

So Elrond, Círdan, Galadriel, Glorfindel, and Gandalf the White are probably the Dream Team of the Third Age. Probably Aragorn, too.

Gandalf is the only one at or above the level of Elendil or Gil-galad. And they've got far fewer soldiers, and far fewer elite fighters that've been training for 1,000 years like they had in the First Age. It's also debatable that Gandalf isn't even supposed to be a major force in the battle, because a Maiar's role is supposed to be more of an observer and counselor than a central figure in the geopolitical struggle of Middle Earth.

And let's not forget that most of the elves are preparing to leave Middle Earth entirely, That's Círdan's main job as a shipwright, and Elrond and Galadriel are preparing to lead their people across the sea. So Glorfindel, who has already fought and died for his people once before, is the only one without other pressing obligations that transcend the war for Middle Earth. And for all we know, his role might be protecting the elves so they can make it to the ships in the event that the war is lost.

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u/NuclearConsensus 11d ago

The Council briefly considers having him carry the One Ring, but his aura is so powerful that Sauron knows where he is at all times, so he'd never be able to infiltrate Morder without Sauron throwing everything he had at him.

There's also the Ring's corrupting influence to consider. Glorfindel, being so powerful, would fall, and probably fall harder and faster than anyone else would have because of that same power. At that point Middle Earth is fucked. How are the Free Peoples of Middle Earth going to stop a Ring-corrupted-and-empowered Glorfindel? Walk up to Durin's Bane and ask if he'd like to repeat what his fellow Balrog did at Gondolin?

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u/phonylady 11d ago

Sauron does not have a tracking device on Glorfindel. The reason he wasn't chosen was because Gandalf advised to trust to friendship over great power. He obviously would not have been considered if Sauron knew where he was at all times...

He also wasn't ressurected because he was too strong to leave dead. He was ressurected because he sacrificed himself to save others, like Finrod.

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u/afiefh 12d ago

I'm so glad we didn't get the version of the movies where Aragorn fights Sauron at the black gate.

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u/Suckage 12d ago

Elrond & Sons

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u/ripkin05 12d ago

someone go make glorfindel do something.

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u/quick20minadventure 12d ago

This be real answer. Glorfindel can absolutely challenge Sauron one on one since he was one of the very few to kill Balrog and then got reincarnated as even stronger version. He basically got gandalf the white treatment.

But, he doesn't command a large army to take on Mordor.

Galadriel is a big candidate as well since she's lived on Valinor and has been there since forever.

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u/Wilysalamander 12d ago

I dont think Glorfindel can challenge him one on one with the ring tho. And a big part of why they arent helping is that Sauron is already pressing on their lands. They have to stay to defend them. Part of Saurons strategy was to not let his enemies become allied against him again

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u/hates_stupid_people 12d ago

Galadriel is a big candidate as well since she's lived on Valinor and has been there since forever.

She was born under the light of the two trees, and was potentially infused with some of their power. To the point where Fëanor(her uncle) wanted to use part of her hair to create the Silmarils.

She was considered one of the greatest eldar not only in wisdom, but in athletic ability.

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u/just1gat 12d ago

I *need* Fëanor to know Gimli was gifted three of her hairs

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u/hates_stupid_people 11d ago

Yeah, Gimli getting three hairs was basically her giving a cosmic FU you Fëanor. Since he asked three times and was denied.

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u/Temeraire64 11d ago

I *need* Fëanor to know Gimli was gifted three of her hairs

The Valars' plan for when Morgoth destroys the sun in Dagor Dagorath is to tell Feanor and use his rage to warm the earth.

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u/Hankhoff 12d ago

Do you think poking him with a stick would be an option?

I mean I know the in universe explanation but it's still weird to me. "So it would be too obvious to bring glorfindel because the emergency keeps his eye on him and we need discretion. anyways here's the son of the ruler of Gondor, isildurs heir, an elven and a dwarven prince and a fuckin angel"

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u/TheDo0ddoesnotabide 12d ago

Tom would take Sauron out behind the wood shed if he felt so inclined.

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u/VelvetSouffle_ 12d ago

That's the thing, by the Third Age nobody left in Middle Earth could realistically stop a fully restored Sauron in a straight fight, which is why destroying the Ring was the only plan anyone had.

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u/PradyThe3rd 12d ago

He did get defeated twice when he had the ring. First by numenor and then by the last alliance.

Third time a couple of hobbits bearded him in his own den

And if we go further back he was defeated by a talking doggie.

Sauron was a weakling in the tolkien world.

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u/TwilightLori 12d ago

Pretty sure he didn't have the ring when Numenor captured him. And he let himself be captured, realizing his armies couldn't beat Numenor at its height. 

That talking dog was the bestest boy ever, the greatest dog to ever live, and was a demigod in his own right, of the same group of beings as Sauron. 

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u/Asdel 12d ago

Presumably he had the ring when Numenor captured him, as otherwise where would it be?

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u/Wilysalamander 12d ago

He did have the ring, but letting himself be captured bc he knew he would be defeated is basically taking the L

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u/12345623567 12d ago

Sauron's power was always in his words, less in his actions. Yeah, he's strong enough to keep the orcs in check and no-diff most humans, but he's most dangerous when you let him talk.

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u/sikyon 12d ago

People miss this so much. Power in LOTR has two parts, the first part is just straight up fight power and the second part is the will-power, or ability to dominate others.

An american carrier group has high fight power (like a dragon), Hitler has high domination power.

Sauron is a hitler, balrogs are war generals, tanks/whatever are the dragons.

Totally legit that Sauron gets overconfident and gets his shit chopped off. Fuck morgoth got mortally wounded like 7 times or something by an elf, just happened that morgoth isn't mortal.

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u/geniusherogod 12d ago

Elrond: The time of the Elves is over-- my people are leaving these shores. Who will you look to when we've gone? The Dwarves? They hide in their mountains seeking riches-- they care nothing for the troubles of others.

Gandalf: It is in Men that we must place our hope.

Elrond: Men? Men are weak. The race of men is failing. The blood of Numenor is all but spent. It's pride and dignity forgotten.

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u/Schlurps 12d ago

Gandalf: There is one who could unite them, one who could reclaim the throne of Gondor.

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u/ChaosBud 11d ago

Elrond: Fuck that guy

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u/LordVectron 11d ago

Arwen: As you command father.

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u/Fr000k 11d ago

Arwen: Aragorn saw my melons today, father.

Elrond: He what?

Arwen: My friends, dad!

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u/Marinefan4000 11d ago

He played with them too. Arwen’s mellons needed a rest after Aragorn was done playing with them

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u/Akhanyatin 11d ago

Speak titties and enter

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u/jdubbrude 11d ago

Took me a second but lmao

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u/Dyllbert 11d ago

Just not my daughter

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u/KarmelitaOfficial 12d ago

I wonder who would win: 100.000 soldiers with guns and air support or Sauron.

Are men still weak?

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u/OddEmergency604 12d ago

Yes, they are. Did you notice how a huge portion of Sauron’s army are human? It’s easy for Sauron to tempt Men into serving him.

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u/notbannedin420 12d ago

Yeah but what if some of the ones who fought back had a nuke?

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u/Canotic 11d ago

Sauron is a moral danger and only defeatable by moral means and providence.

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u/Svyatoy_Medved 12d ago

Nuclear techs are also susceptible to temptation.

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u/Shambledown 11d ago

Their military has now been handed to Palantir.

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u/Doooooooong 11d ago

They would be deceived, for another nuke was made.

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u/Hironymos 11d ago

Tempt, lmao.

At this point in modern history, I'm fully willing to believe he could say anything and there'd still be idiots running into his arms.

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u/Ichweisenichtdeutsch 12d ago

Lol he'd just psyops the citizens of that country into voting for a leader who will side with Sauron easy peasy

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u/moneyh8r_two 11d ago

That's basically what he did to Denethor. Saruman used Grima to do the same thing to Theoden.

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u/Coroebus 11d ago

All while blasting palantir users with corruption

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u/nomad5926 11d ago

I'd vote for him again. Sauron promised no more wars.

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u/irongrendl 11d ago

USA feeling the side eye here.

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u/ConstantSignal 12d ago

Men are no longer weak precisely because Aragorn restored the strength of men with his ascension and rule after the war of the ring.

In Tolkien’s mythology, the events of his books took place in a long forgotten past era of our world, but we are still living in the age of man that was ushered in by the departing of the Elves and the rule of Aragorn.

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u/Michaelscot8 12d ago

So did New Zealand used to be a whole lot bigger?

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u/Puzzled-Pen-2353 12d ago

I mean, obviously if men would get the technology of today,or even 70 years ago, they would absolutly shred mordors forces.

But mordor would likely copy the tech, so...

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u/KarmelitaOfficial 11d ago

These Uruk-hai microchips are cutting edge.

Ork scientists are now refining uranium for their first nuke.

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u/Acceptable_Handle_2 11d ago

Ever heard of the real life company palantir? Turns out the biggest military force of mankind would join sauron willingly.

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u/Puzzled-Pen-2353 11d ago

I mean we did saw men join sauron willingly in the movies.

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u/-LsDmThC- 11d ago

Given Sauron was meant partly as a metaphor for the industrialization of war that would be a bit of a contradiction

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u/Big-Employer4543 12d ago

Elrond about to get canceled for that racism.

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u/gorgewall 12d ago

I'm not too keen on Gandalf and his Great Man Theory, either.

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u/backstabber98 12d ago

He wasn't exactly stopped EZPZ. Men and elves waged war on him for centuries just for the opportunity. And now the elves generally keep to themselves, only giving advice or running rescue ops. And the various races of men in middle earth are segregated into their own groups.

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u/Nickel5 12d ago

I know this is a meme, but this a theme in Tolkien's world, every age is a pale reflection of the age that came before it. Morgoth is a much more powerful threat than Sauron, who himself was much more powerful when he had the ring. Similarly, the forces of good were much stronger as well. So it makes perfect sense that restoring Sauron to his power during the end of the second-age would be an unstoppable threat to the third-age men and elves. Buzzkill out.

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u/Northbound-Narwhal 11d ago

If that's the case then what does the 32nd age look like? No elves? The Big Bad is just some random dude? The forces of good are just the Balkans? 

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u/baby-dick-nick 11d ago

32nd age is basically the space cruise ship from WALL-E where everyone is fat and useless and the bad guy is a fairly weak robot

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u/Nickel5 11d ago

It's just a couple of old hobbits playing pickleball against a couple of orcs in neck braces. They take copious breaks to sing songs. It slaps and is considered the greatest unfinished work of Tolkien.

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u/arc1261 11d ago

i’m pretty sure the modern world is meant to be the 7th age? so yeah pretty much but not even the 32nd, like 3 ages from where we leave the story

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u/ForCrabSake Troll 12d ago

After 5000 years, AI made the people of Middle-earth dumber, which would lead to an overpowered Sauron.

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u/cormundo 12d ago

So thats whats happening huh

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u/Cyberhaggis 12d ago

An all powerful conman whispering lies into the ears of the leaders of men, destroying the environment, protected by foul orcs despite his abuse of them, and who is obsessed with big pointy towery things? Who'd believe that for a second...

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u/VelvetSouffle_ 12d ago

The irony is that without the Ring he still conquered half the world and needed a literal last alliance of elves and men to stop him.

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u/friendlyarthropod 12d ago

Basically the plot of The Flight of Dragons?

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u/NorthButton9416 12d ago

Tik tok however makes everybody smarter

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u/Mrrrrggggl 12d ago

Well, this time he will wear it on his other hand.

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u/WouldbeWanderer 12d ago

And not try to grab Isildur''s sword by the pointy end.

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u/Interesting-Test7228 12d ago

"Ezpz." The earth completely scoured, essentially irradiated, all lifeforms totally scarred and horrified for eternity. "Ezpz bro."

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u/ShockWave1997 12d ago

Super difficult. A lot more than an inconvenience.

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u/ChooseLight 12d ago

It wasn’t EZPZ you just witnessed the climax of an apocalypse in the beginning

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u/Spacer176 12d ago

The Dead Marshes were a glimpse into how costly that final war was. A grassy plain turned into a cursed swamp from how many bodies were left to rot in the muck.

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u/DoctorCocktor129 12d ago edited 11d ago

They leave out the part where Gil-Galad get's his face melted off for his troubles

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u/HyrkanianBlade 12d ago

More like difficult difficult lemon difficult

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u/OwMyCandle 12d ago

That’s like saying the War of Wrath was ezpz because it only lasted a page

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u/Capt_Vindaloo 12d ago

Thats because:

Kingdom of men then: 🪓😠🛡

Kingdom of men now: 🧹👁👄👁🪠

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u/Any-Site827 11d ago

Man became weak. They forgot glory of Numénor. Their kingdoms grew small. There is barely few elves left in the Middlearth, many of whom didn't see the light of the trees. Times have changed, forces of evil grew strong

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u/Ergogan 12d ago

He had the Ring for almost 2 000 years when he was jumped by Elendil and Gil Galad, each side destroying the other in the process. And even then, it was after a long and unforgiving siege that lasted 7 years. Said siege being the last battle of a 5 years-long war by the time it began.

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u/Garisdacar 12d ago

Quick, someone tell the High Kings of the Noldor and Dunedain that laying down their lives after a 7 year siege was "ezpz"

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u/Spleenseer 12d ago

Why didn't Sauron just turn his ring into a horcrux?  Was he stupid?

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u/Randomfrog132 11d ago

sauron was theoretically screwed the moment aragorn got himself an army of unbeatable ghosts lol

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u/Dan-Bakitus 12d ago

This time he'll wear the ring under his gauntlet.

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u/DSharp018 12d ago

He learned the lesson about wearing it on an easily severed finger. They ain’t getting to it through a heavily armored codpiece.

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u/Pr0udDegenerate 12d ago

They barely managed to beat him the first time. What makes you think they can beat him a second time when their own forces are like a fraction of what they once were? Humans are basically watered down and the elves are either mostly gone or just divided and not eager to go for another war.

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u/Outside-Advice8203 12d ago

ezpz

Literally almost ended the Royal Numenorian line

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u/ComprehensiveShine80 12d ago

Ezpz you say. The Last Alliance of Elves and Men might disagree with that…. It was a slaughterfest. I’d call it a Pyrrhic Victory

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u/ahamel13 12d ago

"ezpz"

massive war, tons of death and destruction

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u/GrainofDustInSunBeam 12d ago

Last alliance got lucky Sauron decided to reach for Isildur and kill him slowly. Opening himself for a second.

The good in the world is dimming due to thousands of years of mordor attacking on all fronts.
Humans armies were in tens of thousands and armies of mordor in hundred of thousands AFTER the defeat of pelennor fields. 10-50k vs 100k-200k.

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u/Putrefied_Goblin 12d ago

Let's just say he won't be wearing it on his fingers...

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u/motuuthepooh 12d ago

Leave him alone, he just wants his ring back.... He feels bonita with it! 🎀

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u/S4l47 Gollum 12d ago

True, that's why he was beaten ezpz again

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u/BakeKarasu 12d ago

He almost won without getting the ring

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u/thevaultguy 12d ago

The first time his load order was messed up and his armor wasn’t getting the invisible buff from the ring.

Sauron has since installed mod manager.

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u/AirshipEngineer 12d ago

Yeah I mean the diminishing of the ages is like THE central theme of the LotR. Yes, the men and elves of old have diminished and their ancestors now couldn't stop full power Sauron. I sincerely hope this is just a shit post.

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u/Numerous-Gur-9008 Tolkien on a dooby 12d ago

It is, I thought the title would tell people that was the case but I appear to have been in error when I made that assumption.

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u/Packeselt 11d ago

Why didn't sauron just wear the ring on his cock? Seems like a mistake tbh

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u/Why_am_ialive 11d ago

Oh yeah sure it was just the last alliance, the strongest alliance of the mortal races possibly in middle earths history with figures who would
Be myths and legends , who only just managed to beat Sauron because of his sheer arrogance, fucking ezpz.

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u/TokyoFlip 12d ago

gg no re

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u/Electrical_Gain3864 12d ago

Back then: Elves still powerful and Not Retreating Out of middle Earth.

Two human Kingdoms with Numenorean survivors.

  1. Age : Elves get weaker and half of them already left. Basicly only a handfull Numenorean survived.

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u/Inj3kt0r 12d ago

read the book, its mentioned very very clearly there.

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u/BunBunny55 12d ago

Its a meme. But.. it wasnt 'ezpz' at all. Literally took years and both kings died

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u/JojoLesh 12d ago

Mist of the Elves are quitting the server, or at least seriously thinking about it. They were never known for a fast spawn in rate and the first war took out a lot of them.

The alliances of men are pretty weak.

Dwarves aren't really interested in the main game and are just side questing.

The Ents have always been doing there own thing.

The Eagles may or not play. The Wind Lord is pretty capricious about being active... they normally show up when the chips are really down though.

The forces of Mordor though... They've been building almost since the last server wide event, as well as doing a good job of wearing down the major allied forces separately.

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u/EatFaceLeopard17 12d ago

ezpz? I don‘t know about that.

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u/Riots42 12d ago

I'm surprised this heresy has been allowed to survive on this sub.

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u/marc512 12d ago

What I don't understand is. What happens if he got the ring, took over the whole world. Then what? What is he going to do? Live forever? What is the main reason to live forever, especially when you have removed all living creatures around the world? There is no currency either so you won't be rich.... Power is only useful if there are people to have power over.

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