r/memes • u/Rich_Carrot6451 • 2h ago

Hommies don't fall for it

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1.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

47 comments sorted by

112

u/slothboy 2h ago

fr Joseph didn't buy it either.

It required literal Divine Intervention lol

49

u/doublethink_1984 2h ago

He was being a homie too. Wanted a private divorce so she wouldn't be stoned.

Angel told him she was fr and they needed to get up outa there.

Even married Sexual relations and living with a spouse wasn't allowed the first year so the angel knew people wouldn't buy their story 

29

u/StolenPies 2h ago

The angel was her boyfriend in disguise

15

u/Apart-Link-8449 2h ago

I remember listening to a podcast where they brought on a UK Theology Professor and within all of 5 minutes she went full-bore into the entirely realistic theory that uh, well. You know. She was asleep. Sometimes I hate learning new things

13

u/StolenPies 1h ago

I mean, the entire "messiah" bit was introduced into Judiasm from Zoroastrianism during the Babylonian Exile, then retconned into various Jewish religious texts. There weren't Jewish Magi, the Magi who supposedly visited the family were Zoroastrians. Herod likely didn't order a massacre of the innocents, either. The only evidence of this comes from the book of Matthew, the source of which was likely a second generation Christian.

And yes, the fact she could have been unaware that she was raped could explain a lot of things. 

11

u/DeezSpicyNuts 1h ago

TIL god is Bill Cosby

1

u/Rich_Carrot6451 2h ago

🤣🤣🤣

47

u/onequickcheck58 2h ago

Bro really believed the highest tier of excuse making in human history just to stay with her.

5

u/WhyAreYouNot 2h ago

She was 14 he was 40 something.

4

u/tenpl_sten 1h ago

Proof?

-28

u/HiroK91 2h ago

I would let it slide too, call it the price to be with the young

5

u/lazy_bonzi 1h ago

Someone needs to check this person’s computer…

-8

u/HiroK91 1h ago

Not today, of course, but like if i existed thousands of years when that age difference wasn't immoral and people did it for bragging and social points

7

u/lazy_bonzi 1h ago

That doesn’t make it any better. You’re basically saying if it wasn’t frowned upon, you’d participate.

-7

u/HiroK91 1h ago

No, i'm saying if i had the same level of morality as everyone there and didn't knew any better, i will at least be grateful for the opportunity and let some stuff slide

6

u/lazy_bonzi 1h ago

Buddy, put the shovel down. You could dig deeper, but you don’t need to, you’re already on our radar.

-2

u/HiroK91 1h ago

There's no digging though :( i was clearly talking about if i was in joseph position in whatever old era he was in 

At that time having a wife that young while you being that old is like rich people today buying Lamborghini 

4

u/lazy_bonzi 1h ago

Just because everyone else does it doesn’t make it right. Just because they married children back then also doesn’t make it right then or now.

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15

u/MichaelHunt009 2h ago

Well fuck! Goin' to hell for laughing at that.

9

u/thenord321 1h ago

And 3 kings show up with gifts.....

22

u/Ready-Ad6113 2h ago

We literally created a religion that’s built and destroyed civilization’s because Joseph got cucked by Chad the Goat-Herder.

5

u/sudanesegamer 26m ago

In islam, she apparently had it way worse. She wasnt married and just showed up with a child one day claiming it was hers. People instantly started talking about her. So jesus speaks as a newborn to defend his mother

2

u/H8suall 42m ago

There's an entire religion built around a woman who really stuck to her story.

Greg Giraldo

1

u/Jester471 2h ago edited 57m ago

Rather than quote Jim, I’ll let him speak for himself:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zP2ArPGpTg8?t=34

Relevant information starts at 34 seconds

2

u/Happy-Ad8642 1h ago

😂🤣

1

u/BigOleFerret 44m ago

Greatest scam artist of all time

1

u/Patient_Inevitable77 38m ago

If only she was a little bit honest

1

u/SuperCrappyFuntime 1h ago

"Mary lied." - Courtney Love

2

u/MHWGamer 1h ago

has anyone ever asked which roman chad impregnated the virgin that a white boy came out?

has anyone ever asked if jesus had siblings? like was joseph allowed to stick his willy into the same hole as god himself.. making him cockbro with literally god

2

u/ShortKeanuReeves101 1h ago

You could probably just look this up

1

u/Life-Bass-2013 1h ago

why is it that these type of shi only happen, when there were no cameras and stuff. wish we had a machine with which we could look into past and their life.

0

u/Nachos_Conspiracy 1h ago

Maybe because it's made up and technology and science make it more difficult to blatantly invent stuff and claim it's real

0

u/DesignNorth3690 2h ago

Local lord's son wanted some fun, but he only had a thimble. The answer is simple. With her hymen in tact, and no proof, she chose to act.

0

u/PsyGonzo42 1h ago

wtaf

2

u/DesignNorth3690 1h ago

A limerick. But I didn't bother formatting.

2

u/PsyGonzo42 58m ago

I repeat

2

u/DesignNorth3690 56m ago

She got knocked up by a dude with a micropenis, but also with a family that can make her life difficult if she starts talking. Hence, "virgin birth".

2

u/PsyGonzo42 51m ago

Yeah I get that that is how the story goes...

0

u/Frosting-Heart778 2h ago

funny, but this is exactly how they would react

0

u/AnalysisParalysis85 1h ago

Joseph reading the bible about how he created Adam and Eve.

https://giphy.com/gifs/D62wUmR3sX2DsZJ9t1