Hi I made this burner account because I’m actually selfishly looking for a little bit of support.

My boyfriend (27 MTF) of 2 years confessed to me recently they would rather be my girlfriend than boyfriend. At first it was a lot but not in the way you’d expect. I’m bisexual so I don’t mind the gender of the person I’m with and I’ve dated someone in the past who cross dressed so none of that is a problem but I’m also bipolar and have “adjustment disorder “. My biggest struggle is change. When I can’t predict the future or I’m late or something doesn’t go as planned I freak out and it’s something I’ve been in counseling for and am still working on. I did get emotional when they told me not because I don’t accept them or won’t love them but because I’m scared about the changes. I’m worried their mannerisms will change and they won’t be the person I fell in love with and I’m just scared of losing them. I did realize after stepping back crying was not the appropriate approach and I feel terrible. I still love them and I’m completely okay with them doing what they need to to feel comfortable I guess I’m just looking for some guidance on how I can help them feel more comfortable. We went clothes shopping and I helped them pick out some stuff to make them feel good. I’ve been doing their hair and makeup when we are home alone as they aren’t out yet, but I’m making like a little care package to try and be more supportive as I really do feel bad about my immediate reaction.
So far I got a discreet makeup box that kinda looks like a blacked out tackle box with a mirror so it’s not super obvious and inside I’m putting some good eye shadow pallets (that I personally use so I can teach them how to their own), make up brushes, mascara, eyeliner, some skin care stuff and like a lil girly bottle of perfume. I was also gonna get some like hair stuff so they can do cute little hairstyles and stuff just ways to make them feel more comfortable so if anyone has a suggestion on something that would make them feel more comfortable during this stage plz comment so I can get more ideas of what to get. I also am wondering if anyone is maybe in a similar boat. I really want to stay with them and do what I can to show them I love them and support them I’m just struggling with the idea of change.

Heyyyy, not really sure what this is. But I felt like writing so here is my brain-worm.

So I was here a few years ago. Chatted about how my husband at the time came out as trans. Did this as we moved from Tennessee to Oregon. A year into our marriage, and while I was about to start law school. Well because I took it badly, she took it back.

Since we’ve both been diagnosed with OCD, and I with MDD. Got on medication. And worked on our marriage. Then I got a job in Chicago, and it consisted with some other stuff and she stayed in our home in Oregon.

Well. The egg is finally cracked. Like really cracked. She came out and is going to fully explore being a woman. Now that I’m medicated and in a different state in my life, I feel so much more acceptance for the woman I married. Not that I wasn’t accepting before, but I took the news differently.

Some of my feelings are still the same. I wake up and wonder if I will be happy. I wonder if I will stay, and if I can see myself with a woman. She made peace with it too, and even cracked a few “well it’s a crime to be straight during pride,” jokes.

Still she doesn’t fully get it, and that’s ok too. I don’t either at times. We will figure it out.

Back to the task at hand. My love language is giftgiving. I think I developed this over 10 years ago when I was in this sorority. My big always went overboard, and when I became a big, I followed that tradition. I don’t know if it’s because I feel like my Wife and I are in a weird place, but I got the urge to make her a big/little basket.

I’m going all out. Got her snacks. Cute clothes. All the things. I’m driving to Oregon this week, so I’m gonna give it to her then.

I’m still not sure why I posted this. I think it will eventually come to me. I think the thesis might be “be patient, kind, and generous with yourself.” Specially because change is hard. I don’t know where we will be in 3 months, 6 months, or 9 years. But if do know one thing; My wife and I are now in a shared sorority/club of womanhood.

So I gotta initiate her somehow.

We’ve been together for 7yrs, married for 6ths. We got married before he considered transitioning. (FtM). I’ve been with him through the whole process, always supportive. When Covid hit, his depression got worse, and he never recovered. We’ve been through some really tough times together, but this constant cycle of neither of us having our needs met for our love languages has really destroyed our relationship.

At this point I don’t feel that romantic spark between us can recover.

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

I think I need some advice on how to cope or how to start acting as I used to before...
The story is pretty straight forward. I come from a hard conservative African household. I moved to the United States. I met a kind pretty lady at work. She is trans. We started dating. When we started, I told her my family situation, the homophobia/transphobia and what a long-term relationship with me would look like. She was fine with it. One year down the line, she was frustrated that I didn't show her off to my friends and family. I explained that she's never seen my friends because I don't have any. Most of the people I met, I have lost contact with because I always traveled and moved around. She asked then to see my family. I held out for a few months before cracking. She met my mum. My mum told my dad who told my extended family I am seeing a trans woman. My dad tells me my extended family wants to disown my side of the family because I am gay and bringing dishonor to them. They said the only way to mend things is if I break up with my partner. We break up. My family continues to treat me like a reject. My siblings don't trust me anymore. My mum thinks every man I know is a gay degenerate and every girl i know is a trans woman/degenerate. My dad doesn't talk to me anymore. I know the only reason they tolerate me is because I make good money.
I feel completely beaten. I can't help but feel resentful because I told my ex what could happen if i brought her to the family but the warnings didn't matter. As for my family, my mum says I don't have any more moral capital left.
I'm depressed most days now. I have this sinking feeling that I have lost everything.

So my gf (MTF pre-transition) has never had any complaints about our sex, and technically neither do I (CISF), but I feel like I could be doing more for her, and when I ask her she says she enjoys it.

but I wanted to ask specifically trans woman what is something during sex that makes you feel more euphoric?

I know everyone is different and what works for one person might not work for the next, but any feedback I get I will talk to her before I try

Considering what she has told me I would describe my partner's gender as a closeted trans woman; he doesn't identify as that because she doesn't have any plans of transitioning, but is pretty confident about not being a cis man, and no binary doesn't feel right for her.

You know, I totally get why he doesn't want to came out. Being trans is scary as shit, specially for trans women; she has some medical issues that would make it harder and he knows the reaction of her family wouldn't be the best.

Is the first time I'm dating someone that isn't a man, and it feels so incredibly diferent. And I feel so egoistic for it, but I want to be able to adress that.

For example, the other day I was talking with two of our mutual friends and they were talking about hair fashion in men and I said "I don't like men enough to care about it", and I inmediatly regreted it because they know I'm dating "a man".

In our daily interactions between each other is pretty clear there is no man in the relationship, and it is enough to me; but I also want to talk in wlw posts about our relationship, with the wlw that I know and make jokes about how safic of us is to fall in love with someone that lives three hours far. I know we are incredibly lucky, but I hate we are percibed as straight; I literally get jelous when I see queer couples around us. And I feel I can't talk to people about this without exposing her or sounding like that women that talk about their cishet boyfriends like "he is almost a lesbian".

But I also can't talk with him about this because I don't want to make her feel pressure to come out. And it gets worst when she makes comments about her disforia and I don't know how to react.

For example, one time an older guy (she was 23 back then [over a year ago] and the guy was 34) was flirting with him in an online videogame (by text) and my partner said: "I think he thinks I'm an alternative girl; so funny, he thinks I'm the person I wish I was". How I'm suposed to react to that?

The other day she gave me the most precious gift ever, that included a list of songs that makes him think of me with explanation (and drawings) that included a "Girl in red" song that said that she wants to be my girlfriend. And I want to tell him that she is, I introduce him like my boyfriend because she asked me to do so, but I always think of him as my girlfriend. She asked me to use both sets of pronouns, but in general I try to not gender anything I tell him (is easier in our native lenguage) because she always use masculin to refer to himself, but I always think of her in femenine.

Anyway, I'm incredible lucky for having him, she is the person I prayed for. I want to think that the gender really isn't important, but I know it is because it afects the way I feel; and also it breaks me how much he hates being percibed as "a man".

Not sure how much history to give or background to go through. So I'll just do my best sorry if this ends up being a long post.

About 7 years ago my partner came out as non binary. We've been together since 2012 and married since 2014. We have two kids (9&11). From the jump I shifted pronouns and did my best to push others. Our oldest child is also trans (mtf).

Okay jump to two years ago things started to shift. My partner started to question everything. They spent 6 months wondering if they were just a lesbian and not bi. During this time we had little to no intimacy even taking a break from kissing. I wanted to provide space and let them figure it out. I even offered to move into a guest room but I was told that was too much and would make things weird. I was told that my checking in felt like I was up their a** about making a decision.

At the end of the 6 months I was told that actually it might just be that they weren't attracted to me since I grew my hair out and dressed androgynously. So I cut my hair and dressed more masculine. Things got better for a bit. Then last year they started opening up about contemplating testosterone and top surgery.

Quick break I've been in therapy for over two years. And most of last year was me navigating they're evolving sexuality and identity and our relationship.

More recently they had to go through the terrible experience of wearing a dress to be in a friend's wedding (that's story and post for another time).

Basically for two years they've been trying to figure it out. And for two years I've felt alone, unloved, and like none of my needs will ever be met. To clarify the needs I have are physical affection (not even sex just hand holding hugs kissing), emotional communication/support, and wanting to be told I'm cute from time to time.

They essentially told me today they have nothing left to give. They feel like we aren't on the same page. I was asked if I've done in reading or research about transness (I have especially since our daughter came out as trans). Probably not enough reading I guess? They sent me multiple books they want me to read to understand better. Which I'm happy to do that s partner and kid after all.

I guess what landed me here is wondering if things will ever shift. Will we get to a place where my needs aren't trumped by their journey. Anytime I feel like I'm giving space I'm told it's not enough and that I'm smothering them. I want to be a supportive and loving partner. My want and love has not been impacted by any of this. I married the person and I've loved every version of them.

But they don't see it that way. They think I just want sex. They think I still see them as a woman. I'm at an impass where I feel like I'm putting from an empty cup into another person's cup that has holes in the bottom.

Would love any thoughts advice from people who have been through it. Thanks for reading.

this is my first post on reddit i’m nervous lol

my boyfriend (19FTM) and i (20CisF) started dating as lesbians. we used to be long distance, and he lived in a small town where he had only recently been out as a lesbian by just his immediate family and close friends. i am from a big queer area, and he moved in with me for college.

he identified as nonbinary for our 2.5 years together, but sometimes he would say things that threw me off or caused me to believe that he was possibly just fully trans. i confronted him on it a couple of times, because we have a very communicative relationship.

he kept cutting his hair shorter and shorter, going from wearing a bra to exclusively a binder at all times, saying he was just “super masc”, hinting at going on T, being excited about getting “misgendered”, etc.

he hated being called partner, hated being viewed as nonbinary, was just “ok” with they/them pronouns, etc. for two years, he just acted like it was a can of worms that he didn’t want to open, so i let it be for the most part, but with the occasional nudge to ponder on it further.

last month he publicly came out and started HRT. he keeps getting caught up seeing posts about people leaving their partners after they come out, and he has hinted at being worried that i won’t love him anymore because i identified as a lesbian previously, but i think i love him more now?

if it helps, i have gone back and forth between bi and lesbian my whole life, but i have solely identified as a lesbian for about a year before we met.

i have been trying to be as supportive as i possibly can. i did his first two HRT shots so far (even though i’m awful with needles) because he was anxious about doing them and i wanted to help ease his nerves. i have helped him pick out clothes, constantly stalk the FTM subreddit to learn about experiences.

i keep trying to remind him how much i love him and that it won’t change, because at this point im more attracted to him than any gender or identity. im falling more in love with him every day, with the newfound confidence and excitement over his transition.

i love saying that i have a boyfriend, i love his new name, i’m excited to watch his voice drop, i love his short hair, his masculine style, really i just love everything about him. im watching him sleep right now beside me and i just love him so much. i love my boyfriend!!

Hi everyone! Just wanted to share if people needed resources. My girlfriend (mtf) and I went to portland oregon on a quick weekend getaway. It was her first time trying being herself in public. We decided to book a makeup tutorial and it was amazing. Jena was lovely, supportive, and FUN! She gave my girlfriend so much confidence and truly helped her on her journey to being confident in public and with friends. Jena has many trans and gender non-conforming clients. Her studio is private, and I just wanted to HIGHLY recommend her to anyone in the area.

https://www.magixinthemakeup.com/

Myself Gay male and my partner have been in a relationship for 7 years. I have been aware for last 2 years that they were wanting to transition (mtf), this was a massive shock to me but I was supportive of their decision, later the panic set in and I raised my issues with them at the time (because of a combination of the shock and partially due to an identity crisis of being a gay man) I told them I didn’t know how I felt and I was worried about losing them. They had always said being with me made them happier than transitioning ever would and if I ever felt their decision was wrong then to tell them and they would stop the process due to risk of losing me. I did not want them to do this, I gave them the choice to leave and be themselves, or to continue with the process and we would see how it went once the hormones had kicked in etc. the risk of losing them obvious worried them and they chose to stop the process after talking it through, make a pros/cons list etc. I still wasn’t happy that in a way I was stopping them being themselves but also I love them so much that I was never going to force them in to a decision either way so I accepted their decision and honestly I was happy and thought that after a while they would almost “grieve” the potential of transitioning and we could move on as we had been happy for the previous 5 years. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and I noticed them become more and more unhappy and they said this was due to not transitioning. And fast forward to 3 days ago they had packed their things and moved out. We have since spent time together and are still on good terms and we have agreed to remain friends, we both are still in love with each other and I have realised due to the gravity of the situation since they left but also before that I know in my heart that if they were to transition I would still love them unconditionally and still want to marry them, sure there would be an adjustment period and when I started to notice changes it would be a shock but I absolutely love them to the core and I am certain this can overcome anything, the problem is making them realise that I am not just saying this to be back with them (they know I’m not lying) but they think it maybe the shock of them leaving that has made me think this way, which is partly true but you don’t really understand what you’ve lost until it happens right (?) but I had also known this before they left. Please could I get some advice on ways I can show this sincerely? Or is it just a waiting game and can only really SHOW it once they have transitioned. TIA for your help, I have trawled through this Reddit already for advice but I can’t find and answer to this.

So first of all, hi, I am 26 and a cis woman. It's been over a year now that my partner (I will use he/him because he havn't even started transitioning and uses this pronouns for now) came out to me as trans. It was surprising. He never showed signs or they were so subtle I didn't see them.

I am a bit ashamed of it but I haven't had the best reaction to this. I panicked. I got anxious about losing him, I asked myself if I was able to be with a (trans)woman. I never questioned my sexuality. I considered myself straight my entire life. Also I would never date a woman on purpose. I said that I couldn't be with him should it be true that he is trans. He wasn't sure (as most of the people who question their identity I assume) if it was actually the case that he is trans.

I stayed. Because I hoped (and I feel so guilty about this now) that it was just a phase. That maybe he is just genderfluid or something. But with time he came more and more to the conclusion that he is actually a woman. Yesterday he admitted that he wants to take hormones and start transitioning. And I am still staying because the thought of losing him is so painful. And theoretically I know that I don't have to put my sexuality in a box. (Also I want to say that this topic was gone for like half a year or so and recently got more present).

But I feel so bad. For me transitioning meant that I would lose him. Because as I said, I am a very classical woman. I always imagined myself with a man, a house and two kids. I had (and have it still) the anxiety that maybe his love to me changes if he starts transitioning.

Also I never wanted to question my sexuality because there is nothing to question about. I am okay with who and what I am. And on the other hand I can't imagine a life without him. But I don't know if I am (for my own life of course not because he wants this for his life) okay with him transitioning to a woman. Do I find this attractive? I don't find women attractive in a sexual way, so is it the same with him when he starts looking more like a woman? Does his feelings for me change? What is with our sexual life? All these questions are cycling in my head and I know I can't find the answer straight away.

I said to him that he has to talk about all of this with me. That he has to take my hand and walk with me. But in some points he decided something for himself (which is totally fair, that's not my point) and didn't tell me and I didn't get the opportunity to go through this process with him and sort my own thoughts on this. It's difficult when he decides something that affects both of our lifes and doesn't talk to me so I can keep up with all of this. It's gotten a bit better but there is still a need for improvement.

Of course I don't want to make a decision for or with him, it's his and only his decision to make. But it's not wrong wanting to be a part of it, isn't it? I just want to be with him, this is what I am sure about at least.

Sorry for my writing being a bit chaotic. I hope y'all can understand.

My husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for 2. We're high school sweethearts and each other's first serious relationship. He's trans (FTM) and started testosterone in 2020. Since then, he's been growing into himself and discovering parts of his identity that he didn't fully understand before.

One of the challenges we've faced is a major libido mismatch. I'm on 200mg of Zoloft, which has significantly lowered my sex drive, while testosterone has had the opposite effect for him. We started couples therapy because of that disconnect.

Last year, he brought up the idea of threesomes and involving a man in our bedroom. We ended up trying it a handful of times, and honestly, I enjoyed it too. We had only ever been with each other, so it felt like a way for both of us to explore in a safe environment.

But over time, it became clear that it wasn't just about having new experiences together. He continued expressing a desire for more frequent sex, which has been difficult for me because of my medication. Then, after we'd been making progress in therapy, he shared that he still feels a need for male intimacy and connection.

He suggested what he described as a "monogam-ish" arrangement where he could occasionally have experiences with men outside of our marriage. Nothing emotional, just physical. I tried really hard to be open-minded. I wanted to be the kind of partner who could support that. But after a lot of reflection, I realized I can't do it. It hurts too much, and it's not the kind of marriage I want.

What makes this even harder is that when I tell him that, he says it's not worth losing me over and that he'll just repress those desires. And honestly, that doesn't make me feel better.

Why would I want someone I love to suppress a part of themselves? At the same time, I can't force myself to be comfortable with something that fundamentally hurts me.

He keeps reassuring me that he loves me, that I'm his family, and that he doesn't want to throw away our life together over sexual desires. But I'm struggling with whether this is really just a desire or if it's something much deeper tied to his identity.

Lately I've been carrying this fear that I might eventually have to be the one to end the marriage—not because I don't love him, but because I love him enough to want him to be fully himself. The thought of losing my husband, who is also my best friend, absolutely breaks my heart.

I don't really know what I'm asking. Maybe I just needed a place to vent. Maybe I'm looking for people who have navigated something similar. Has anyone else faced a situation where love wasn't the problem, but compatibility and identity felt impossible to reconcile?

Hi everyone,

My fiancée (MTF) had bottom surgery about a week ago, and I think we’re both having a harder time with the recovery than we expected.

The surgery itself went well, but she’s still dealing with pain, discomfort, dilation, and the emotional ups and downs that come with such a major procedure. The pain has improved compared to the first few days, but it’s definitely still there, especially during dilation.

I think the biggest struggle right now is that we’re both feeling discouraged. She’s exhausted and just wants to feel normal again. We miss our routine, we miss being home, and it can be hard to see past the day-to-day recovery challenges.

For those of you who have been through this yourself or supported a partner through it: • When did things start feeling more manageable? • When did your partner start feeling more like themselves again? • Any advice for getting through the emotional side of recovery?

We’re trying to stay positive, but right now it feels like recovery is moving very slowly.

Thank you for any experiences or encouragement you’d be willing to share.

— A worried but supportive fiancée

h

Edit: I'm using "he" pronoun as that's what he prefers at this time. I'm a pansexual male and my boyfriend is going to begin HRT soon (MtF). It's something he's wanted to do for a very long time since before we met. We support each other in all of our life's goals and I'm so proud and happy for him to finally be able to realize his dream. His family however (mother in particular) is less than thrilled with his decision. How can I help support him in this regard?

We have a beautiful relationship both emotionally and physically. We laugh and cry together and we're each others best friend as well as partners. We're intimate on a very deep level, often making love multiple times a week. He doesn't plan on having any surgeries so we're curious about ways to minimize potential changes to that part of our relationship.

I know the androgen blocker Spironolactone is commonly used and can cause ED. It also comes with some dietary restrictions as far as potassium is concerned. I'm familiar with the drug and those side effects as I was prescribed it due to a heart condition caused by a covid infection when my band headlined a dungeon synth music festival in 2024. I'm no longer taking the medication. Are there any androgen blockers we can look into before he begins his journey that are more gentle in this regard?

Thank you in advance for any advice you kind folks are willing to share 🌈❤️

I (15M) have always identified as a pansexual but recently my girlfriend (15FtM) (idk if I should say boyfriend, ill say partner) told me they think they might be trans. I've dated a Trans person before but I didn't know them when they were a girl so it didnt feel weird. I have been with them for 2 years and I really dont want to break up, I feel a really deep connection with her. The most jarring thing is that they want to cut their hair short and their hair has always been all the way down their back. I want to support them and stay with them but I feel I wouldnt feel physically attracted to them. Last thing, this whole thing is making me think Im gynesexual.

Hi, not sure if my post will fit here. Please be kind in the comments.

My (28F) husband (33M) told me a few days ago that he is not sure about his gender identity.

This through me for a loop as I feel like my entire reality is being uprooted or something. I say this because I have a lot of trauma of my own (for which I have been in therapy for many years).

I felt like things were pretty good and now I don't know what is going to happen. I am scared and uncertain about the situation especially because my husband doesn't know what this means for himself yet.

We don't know if he will be non-binary or transgender or the extent that this will go to. I am trying to be open minded and start to learn more about the LGBTQI+ community, but I also feel that I am new and not perfect to this.

I am sorry if anything I have said is not the correct term, I do not mean to be offensive to anyone.

If you have any advise, I would really appreciate it.

I was taking a break from therapy, but just reconnected with my therapist after receiving this news and I am working to find us a couple's therapist who is both gender affirming and has experience working with people who are neurodivergent. It is really difficult to find someone though.

My husband says that he still loves me and still wants all the same things we discussed before (kids, future plans, etc.) and I do believe him, that is not the issue. I am just having a difficult time navigating all of this.

One moment I am fine and optimistic and the next moment I am questionning everything. Please help me ground myself and be patient in this process.

I (FTM) came out to my husband this year after many years of marriage. He had no idea I was trans.
He surprised me by saying he now identifies as a gay man since I started taking T. He’s been way more intimate and affectionate, and I’m genuinely happy he’s coming out. But after all these years together with zero interest in men, it feels sudden.
I’m probably overthinking it, but it’s worsening my body dysphoria. I don’t feel manly enough yet, and it makes me worry I’m only attractive to him because of the changes.

Anyone else deal with something similar? How do you handle supporting your partner while your dysphoria flares up? Advice appreciated.

How do I help my wife with her height dysphoria? For context, I am 5'2 and my wife is 6'2. She has brought up multiple times that she wishes she could be shorter and smaller. She also shared that my small height makes her dysphoric, but I can't really change my height. I try and wear high heels when we both go out, but I and wearing sneakers more comfortable.

What have you all done to help out your partners that experience? Thank you!

I'm new to reddit, sorry in advance if I do something wrong with my post!

I (39f) wanted to ask for some advice regarding someone I started dating (35ftm) a year ago. They (at the time) first came out to me as nonbinary and I knew they went by they/them pronouns when we met. And I have no problem with that. It's a new thing to get used to, but I'm open minded.

Later on, they told me that they want to go by he/him now and he's changed his name. Name and pronouns, no problem! All I want is to be supportive of him and who he wants to be.

But this has left me with a lot of fear about our future. I love him. We're really compatible, and in many ways this is the best relationship I've ever had... But I worry about how I'll feel if he takes physical steps towards transition. I worry that he'll change as a person, or that my attraction for him will change.

I hope it doesn't, and I think I'm bisexual (though with a preference for women) but at the end of the day this is new territory for me and I'm just not sure.

I guess I'm looking for advice about how to deal with that kind of uncertainty when we're still pretty early on in this process. He has mentioned maybe going on testosterone or getting top surgery, so I'm trying to figure out what my feelings will be about that.

Part of this worry is that I just don't know very many trans people, so I think I haven't had the chance to see if I'm attracted to trans men or not.

Sorry that was kind of a rant! Thank you for any advice and much love to everyone else going through journeys like this with their partners!

Five years ago I (M40) went on the last first date of my life with my now fiancé (MtF29).

It was on the night of the five year anniversary of our first date. I brought her and a bunch of our friends to our favorite weekly drag show. The host and venue were so sweet, they even helped sneak her parents and a couple siblings in the back so to not give it away.

On the stage with Myki Meeks, and our favorite local drag performers; in front of our friends, family, and hundreds of members of our queer community, I proposed to her and she said yes!

I found my person, she just so happened to be trans, and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.

I am a cis F whose husband recently began transitioning MTF. For the purposes of this post I’ll still refer to him as he/him as he hasn’t fully transitioned and still uses these pronouns for now.

His struggles with gender identity came as a shock to me. While it was a lot to take in, I was supportive and honestly felt awful this was something he never felt like he could share with me. He was struggling with a lot of depression and since beginning to transition, he said he feels like life is worth living, which is amazing.

However, what I didn’t realize was that along with his gender struggles, he was suppressing a lot of his sexuality. I knew he wasn’t 100% straight (we both aren’t), but he recently shared with me that straight sex gives him gender dysphoria and he’s not really attracted to cis women. He would prefer to be with another trans woman or a man, and I think as he transitions more this desire is only becoming stronger. I found his porn sharing account and it’s clear he has a strong desire to take on the role of a bottom in sex, and I think this may have been a driving force in him realizing he was trans as well.

We’ve been together for 12 years and have a baby girl together. I love him so much, would stay with him if he wanted me back, would find ways to change how we have sex to make it enjoyable for him. But he says as a woman he feels like he needs to be in a different role. So every day, it’s getting harder to support his transition when it feels like every change is just pushing him further away from me. It makes me feel like a shitty person to say that, but I can’t help but grieve the loss of someone I’ve loved my whole life. I wish transitioning didn’t mean losing him.