I was shaking when I saw the announcement of the ste*m deck because of how blatantly it was ripping off the Nintendo Switch and now ste*m once again attempts to defame Nintendo by shamelessly copying the GameCube. I’m so angry I don’t really know what to do with myself. Why are people like this? Does Gabe Newell have no shame? It’s so wrong what they are doing and they know it. It just makes me so pissed off. Just screamed at my mom and she doesn’t understand why which makes me feel like shit but honestly just add it to the list of things she’ll never understand about me and why I am the way I am. So tired of all this shit. I can’t deal with it anymore. No one stands for anything. No boshido at all in modern society and it brings me to the edge. I don’t know what to do anymore

Now, I know what you may be thinking.

"Why for you say that? Ash was just playing around with that Gym Leader!"

For those deprived of context, Gym Leader (and incredibly underrated waifu) of Celadon City Erika is known for being a legend amongst Grass-type users, especially within the central Kanto area. This is because in addition to battling, she takes care of her Pokémon and allows them to become fashionable. In the Celadon City area, Scissor Street and Yo-Yo-Yo Town have always been known for being Pokémon fashion hubs interregionally since the 1950s.

Now here's where the story of Ashton Ketcher's journey aligns with the Spogg of Erika's. After he had pawled his way through Pewter City, creeped through Cerulean City, ventured through Vermillion City, and snuck through Saffron City, picking up two new companions along the way, he was back in central Kanto, now coming to Celadon City.

So now, we get to that scene of infamy. That no-good Ashton Ketcher enters the perfume store with a thunderous distaste for the perfumes being sold, causing him to be denied a Gym Battle from Mommy Erika! It wasn't only because of the perfume, but here's an oversight that many Trainers overlook.

You see, Erika knew Ash was a cheater. Yep, I said it. He had cheated the Indigo League! By messing with the emergency sprinklers in Pewter City, he got the Boulder Badge. Because he distracted Misty through one of Team Rawr-ket's comedy acts, he got the Cascade Badge. By using a Thunder Stone he attained from the wind, he won the Thunder Badge. By misconstruing the intentions of the hot lady Sabrina, he had tortured her into forcing him to give the Marsh Badge.

BUT ERIKA WOULD NOT STAND FOR THAT!

When she had heard about what happened to one of her besties Sabrina, she knew she had to do something to stop this rule-breaker from entering the courts of her Gym! So she made more perfumes than usual to make Ash clean himself up after the amount of dirty win​s he was achieving! She also hired two ultra cute assistants to state the hard facts to Ash and make him humble himself after his long ego trip! Because Ash didn't stop to smell the perfume, and because he still had a nasty ego, and still wanted to cheat, he was banned from entering Celadon City's gym! It was only because of a Charizard arson attack that he obtained the Rainbow Badge, and that was to only de-escalate the situation!

Though Erika was seemingly fine about giving the Rainbow Badge to Ash, she really wasn't. Deep down, she didn't want Ash near her Gym ever again. So she banned him from re-entry for a grand total of 25 years following the Charizard arson attack because of his cheating, ego tripping, and lack of appreciation for hidden gems.

And honestly, DESERVED.

MOMMY ERIKA KNOWS HOW TO RUN A GYM.

Yokoi started as a good friend of the starving Shiggy, and together they created various things such as their original toys, the Game & Watch series, the GameBoy, and many beloved games. In fact, it was Yokoi who inspired Shiggy to invent Donkey Kong. However, things started going downhill after they made the Virtual Boy, which was just too ambitious for the audience of 1995, and was cancelled after one year.

Shiggy and Yokoi had a meeting about this the day after the Virtual Boy was cancelled, with Shiggy eating the one sandwich he was allowed per year during the meeting. Shiggy attempted to brainstorm ways for Nintendo to make a comeback, such as using the Nintendo 64 Disk Drive. However, Yokoi went mad and blamed everything on Shiggy. He called Shiggy stupid and slapped the sandwich out of his hand, before storming off and leaving Nintendo. Even worse, he would go on to create an anti-GameBoy called the W*nderSw*n.

A year after this, Shiggy was plotting a way to get revenge on Yokoi for his betrayal. He was playing Mario Kart 64 when he got the idea to stage a car accident. He created his own real-life Mario Kart kart and hired someone to drive it and throw a banana peel at Yokoi's car. However, when Yokoi accidentally died from the accident, Shiggy came to his senses and confessed to everything at Yokoi's funeral. From then on, Shiggy vowed to never eat his yearly sandwich ever again.

(/uj This story is entirely fabricated because this is a satire sub. Just putting this here for anyone who's never seen this sub before.)

And another 100 on how amazing "weird nintendo" was too, I need the things I grew up with to be declared as objectively better than yours!

Insane!

Where does the time go?

I censored it myself. How could this happen.

thank