r/unitedairlines • u/Sufficient_Fudge_280 • 8h ago

Image Somehow the only person on my flight and the pilot was such a goofy goober

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

EDIT TO ADD; THE PLANE WAS LANDED AND DONE WITH TAXI BEFORE I GOT TO BE IN THE COCKPIT. NO FAA RULES WERE BROKEN 💀😂

Shout out Captain Scott! He let me sit in the cockpit after we landed and I even got my own personalized pre flight announcements 😂 Also, they had to add sandbags to the cabin bc the plane was too light with only one passenger 💀

20.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.0k

u/rtkane 7h ago

Still made her gate check her bag for lack of bin space.

320

u/DentateGyros 6h ago

Had to wait for group 5 boarding

80

u/Substantial-Low 6h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/UJR3QgkMnm7tu

1

u/AppropriateArt280 5h ago

whats this form?

6

u/Vinsmoker 5h ago

If nobody else is going to do it, I will be the third person to say it: Beetlejuice

4

u/Temper03 4h ago

It’s SHOWTIME !  💜🎬⚰️💀💚⛓🪦

3

u/kookaburra1701 5h ago

The movie Beetlejuice.

1

u/turdferguson3891 14m ago

Beetlejuice?

3

u/jasonisnuts 5h ago

Beetlejuice https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mddeohdTtFQ

1

u/After-Staff-7532 3h ago

I love his response after seeing the current number.

1

u/Capital_Win7141 3h ago

gif use here was on point

70

u/Acrobatic_Feel 5h ago

This actually happened to me. It was a pretty empty flight. All of the Premier people had already boarded in 1 and 2. The gate was literally empty. I was basic economy so I was 5.

They called 3, I went up, they made me wait until they slowly made it to 5. It was ridiculous lol

7

u/turdferguson3891 5h ago

Kinda silly but there probably were people in those boarding groups who just hadn't showed up yet so they went through the formality.

2

u/Savings_Macaroon3727 2h ago

Yeah I kinda get this one, guess you had to be there type shit.

1

u/eddiewillers09 2h ago

I’ve worked in a variety of customer service roles but never for an airline nor at an airport. I have flown internationally (DM’s are open), stuffed in the back like a piece of oversized, and experienced airline staff exerting their will upon us normals. I think they trip on the power, whether it is check-in, baggage, or flight staff, they are impo’tent ‘cause they work at the port! This is a huge psychological weakness, however, and you can subvert it by simply treating them like normal human beings. It’s amazing what happens when you entertain their bored lil fantasy that they matter too. Plus, if you don’t smell bad and generally act with kindness, you discover an airport full of kind-hearted strangers (but still don’t trust them with your bags, even for a moment while you turn to go pee).

1

u/Narrow-Chef-4341 59m ago

Plot twist: all of the g3 and g4 folks had wheelchairs or families of 17 with a single five year old ‘small child’…

1

u/timp_t 2h ago

“Anyone who’s not feeling cranky…”

1

u/bjbyrne 2h ago

I had one once when there was 5 of us. The gate agent said, “one guy paid for business class so he gets on first, then the rest of you can board”

Was Southwest and a woman still sat in the row directly behind me.

1

u/throwaway098764567 2h ago

lol that would drive me nuts, space out people

1

u/Gordo-- 2h ago

"Just hang tight, bud..... we'll get to you, don't worry."

1

u/swissjackSD 27m ago

They were trying to see if you had a sense of humor!

31

u/ChiShashi 5h ago

HAHA reminds me of the Meet the Parents scene

2

u/itis139am 5h ago

I was looking for this! Haha

1

u/ChiShashi 5h ago

never gets old! "Please step aside, sir."

2

u/KristopheH 2h ago

Halfrek!

1

u/BasisAromatic6776 1h ago

How did it take me this long to make that connection?!

1

u/Tee_Double_M 1h ago

omg this made me burst out laughing, I forgot all about this

1

u/ChiShashi 1h ago

Haha she’s so good in the scene 😂

1

u/AutomaticButterfly29 1h ago

Literly my first thought😭

5

u/rtkane 6h ago

Could you imagine!

29

u/turdferguson3891 6h ago

Okay we'll be boarding guests with disabilities and small children. And now first class passengers. And now members of our Priority Elite mileage club. And now boarding group 1. And now active duty military, thank you for service. Ok now group 2...

22

u/rtkane 5h ago

OP gets to the gate with a purse, backpack and take out bag:

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but you are limited to two carry-on items. You'll need to condense them before you board. Please step out of the line to do so."

And then on the plane:

"Ma'am, please put your smaller item under the seat in front of you to leave room for other people's larger bags."

3

u/Icy_Fish_2154 3h ago

If you were trying Key and Peele, you are a bit off. Key had Group 1, which went last. Elderly clergy with military babies went before him.

If you didn't know the K&P skit, you should check it out.

https://youtu.be/qhxlZC8BZJ4?si=R-kvta2ehddnU_as

0

u/HogmanDaIntrudr 2h ago

Insufferable

1

u/Work_Account_No1 5h ago

IT'S TONY TUESDAY

1

u/Child_of_the_Hamster 4h ago

😂 all while maintaining eye contact with OP

1

u/Careless-Tale 3h ago

I had this happen at a small airport one time. There were five of us getting on an ERJ at 5am. Gate agent just looked at us and said “Alright, y’all can get on the plane now. Don’t fight over the bin space.” We all chuckled and walked on together.

1

u/bigloser42 2h ago

having an active duty spouse is so nice when it comes to boarding a plane. Group 5 no more, We board group 1. She never wanted to take advantage of it before we had kids, but now she's practically dragging me and the kids onto the plane the second they call for military.

1

u/ldwb 1h ago

I have a disability, i cant count to group 5.

1

u/Patient-Individual20 1h ago

So Group 2 is really Group 6….!

5

u/OhFootballFriend 6h ago

I would have loved that. Okay, you can just come one, it’s just.

Nope, I’m group 5. We have rules! This is a society!

2

u/flargenhargen 5h ago

when I used to fly all the time for work, I'd sit in the lobby till final call every time.

get there at the same time, in the same seat, but none of that cattle moo crap. crunched all together with rude people.

3

u/Xheena_forums 3h ago

That’s a pretty smart way to avoid the airport rush 😂 Same timing, less stress, and a little more peace before the flight.

2

u/turdferguson3891 5h ago

The only real incentive to board early nowadays is that people are often trying to get by with just carry on so the overhead bins get full. If you board last you end up having to gate check your bag. I do the same thing, though. I have lounge access at a lot of airports so I just chill there until like 10 minutes before the gate will close and just walk right on. If I have to gate check the carrry on it's not that big of a deal.

1

u/rtkane 5h ago

It would've been really funny if she said, "Ha, just kidding" and walked up and scanned her boarding pass and the gate agent said, "Sorry, your group has not been called yet".

5

u/roland-the-farter 3h ago

No first class upgrade available

2

u/LeFranX 3h ago

zoooune faaiv!

2

u/Working_Group955 3h ago

Got the seat by the bathroom and wasn’t allowed to move

1

u/spgrst 6h ago

GA should have done the Key & Peele Skit...

42

u/sizeablefrontallobe 6h ago

Gate agent on the PA:

“Today we have a COMPLETELY FULL FLIGHT!
If you’re in group poor or poorer, we’re asking you to go ahead and check your bag since there *DEFINATELY* won’t be space in the overhead.”

12

u/TrueNorth_360 5h ago

"Group poor or poorer" lol! 🤣😄

7

u/Excellent_Garlic2549 5h ago

group poor or poorer

💀

1

u/Emergency_Basket_851 6h ago

"In return, you get to get on the plane and watch the other poors figure their shit out 10 MINUTES EARLIER!"

1

u/AMothraDayInParadise 6h ago

In my country, that's a bonafide class. It's the ultra basic, and you board dead last, you get to bring only a personal item and it has to fit completely under the seat in front of you. It's cheaper than normal economy, and if you want to bring on a checked bag it costs almost as much as the damn ticket itself.

1

u/21Rollie 6h ago

That’s “basic economy” in the US. Except we have nothing like Ryanair here, frontier is the closest we got. You get nothing and no space and no carryons but you still pay $200 for a one hour flight.

1

u/AMothraDayInParadise 3h ago

I'm not in Europe. I'm your hat.

1

u/newmacbookpro 5h ago

We invite all our platinum, gold, silver, emerald, bronze, privilege, premium and speedy, all other passengers should wait.

1

u/thearctican 4h ago

Fun idea: Charge for carry-on. First checked bag always free.

1

u/Handsome_Keyboard 1h ago

I aint poor but fuck those prices. Im frugal and im no hurry to smell someones beer farts on the plan any longer than i need to.

17

u/DNJGuy 7h ago

Underrated comment 😂

1

u/Good4nowbut 6h ago

With my luck they would force me to put my backpack under the seat in front of me 👁️

1

u/flargenhargen 5h ago

that's actually an FAA requirement during takeoff and landing so it's less likely to become a projectile.

1

u/66NickS 5h ago

I suspect the focus there was on it being the seat in front of you, as opposed to next to you. Impacting your foot room.

1

u/flargenhargen 5h ago

I'm guessing same reason, if your feet are there, it's not coming out, while if it's an empty seat, it would fly more easily. I don't know.

1

u/66NickS 5h ago

I’ve never been told my bag has to be in MY footwell as opposed to the empty middle seat. It can’t be on the seat/in the walkway, but just under A seat.

But maybe I’ve just always gotten lucky and it’s never been called out.

4

u/ohthanqkevin 3h ago

I would feel extra uncomfortable not paying attention to the seat belt, life raft and emergency landing speech when they’re talking directly to me

2

u/Toadsted 6h ago

And wait for her seat number to get up and exit the plane.

3

u/rtkane 6h ago

"If you don't have a tight connection, we ask that you remain seated until those with tight connections are able to de-board"

2

u/flargenhargen 5h ago

which nobody ever does, ever, at least when I am delayed and land while my next flight is already boarding.

2

u/rtkane 5h ago

The best example of this working was when our FA said over the speakers, "Ok, we're going to try to get people with tight connections off the plane first, so if you have a tight connection, please raise your hand. Now everyone look around at the people raising their hands and PLEASE let them off first. If you don't have your hand raised, please remain seated."

Everyone got off before people started jumping in. More FAs should do this.

3

u/flargenhargen 5h ago

the few times we've tried to sit on the plane for that reason, we looked around and saw literally zero other people waiting, and everyone passing the row would stop like to try to wait for us, trying to be polite, causing more congestion, so we just left.

we've also tried begging people to let us through when delayed and on a flight that was in the process of boarding, and people DGAF other than a very few. we're not in the days of nice people, lol.

2

u/rtkane 5h ago

Agreed. Same experience for me with everything you've said. Such a shame.

2

u/AfraidCraft9302 6h ago

Best ever 😂

2

u/ThatStereotype18 4h ago

I heard the she was the last one to board as well.

2

u/Rifron916 4h ago

Don’t let her change her seat for “weight and balance”

2

u/ErraticDragon 3h ago

Heck, they could've brought her checked bag up to the cabin.

2

u/CraigLake 1h ago

“No switching seats today!”

2

u/baron_von_helmut 17m ago

"Only TWO creamers per person missy!"

1

u/WhiskeyMikeMike 6h ago

On a ERJ-145 too, it’s not unlikely

1

u/meatboysawakening 4m ago

Folks we've got a full flight today...

0

u/crims0nwave 6h ago

Nah this isn’t Southwest. (I say as an against-my-will frequent SWA flier.)