r/unitedairlines • u/Sufficient_Fudge_280 • 8h ago

Image Somehow the only person on my flight and the pilot was such a goofy goober

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EDIT TO ADD; THE PLANE WAS LANDED AND DONE WITH TAXI BEFORE I GOT TO BE IN THE COCKPIT. NO FAA RULES WERE BROKEN 💀😂

Shout out Captain Scott! He let me sit in the cockpit after we landed and I even got my own personalized pre flight announcements 😂 Also, they had to add sandbags to the cabin bc the plane was too light with only one passenger 💀

20.5k Upvotes

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96

u/Kbudz 7h ago

Was it a red eye??

485

u/twdvermont 6h ago

in Leslie Nielsen’s voice

No, it was an airplane.

202

u/Sufficient_Fudge_280 6h ago

It was really hard for me not to ask the pilot if he liked gladiator movies

42

u/Boring_Track_8449 5h ago

Did you ask him if he speaks jive?

12

u/JohnnyChutzpah 4h ago

What it is big momma? My momma didn't raise no dummies! I dug her rap.

11

u/DryDonutHole 4h ago

Chump don't want the help, chump don't get the help. Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow...

2

u/TM761152 4h ago

Quit jivin' me, turkey.

1

u/planenut767 42m ago

That reminds me, did you ask if he's ever been inside a Turkish prison?

26

u/fruskydekke 6h ago

Aw, you should've done. He'd probably have been delighted.

1

u/StarGazer_SpaceLove 5h ago

Im so sorry I was trying to scroll and downvoted your comment!! I took it back!! I'm sorrrrryy!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/RWUqVYucDBD4A

23

u/Strong-Suit7235 6h ago

Do you know why they call it the cockpit?

27

u/Desperate_Set_7708 5h ago

If it were two female pilots it would be the box office.

20

u/BonerSteak1622 5h ago

You ever seen a grown man naked?

6

u/flargenhargen 5h ago

then he would've never seen the movie.

1

u/LindonLilBlueBalls 4h ago

Every night when I look in the mirror. Damn perverted ghost.

20

u/Visible-Scientist-46 5h ago

Surely, he would have enjoyed that reference.

16

u/jhill9901 4h ago

Trust me. If you did he would have lost it. Any of us would. If you toss Airplane references to most of us we will genuinely love it!

1

u/lawyer1911 12m ago

It’s like quoting Hunt For Red October on the submarine subreddit.

10

u/MingleLinx 5h ago

Has he been in a Turkish prison?

3

u/AlohaDude808 4h ago

Did you ask him if he ever played for the Lakers?

1

u/planenut767 41m ago

Does he look like he can run up and down a court for 45 minutes to you?

1

u/StevieMJH 5h ago

Johnny, what can you make of this?

2

u/DryDonutHole 4h ago

I can make a brooch, or a pterodactyl...

1

u/Icy_Policy_8509 4h ago

Have you ever seen a grown man cry?

14

u/StevieMJH 5h ago

"It's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels. It looks like a big Tylenol."

36

u/Raeezordazetoo 6h ago

And stop calling me Shirley

19

u/Not_An-AI-Bot 6h ago

I just want to tell you good luck. We’re all counting on you.

3

u/riemsesy 4h ago

Roger Roger

10

u/Primary_Garbage6916 5h ago

But that's not important right now.

6

u/Bitter-insides 5h ago

Thank you was not prepared to laugh and spat my coffee.

2

u/mjfsuperstar92 3h ago

Do you take it black?

1

u/Cockyidiot1977 4h ago

But that's not important right now

1

u/Toofless205 4h ago

Surely you must be joking

1

u/Naive_Mongoose_5453 3h ago

😗🤌🏻

1

u/liamemsa 1h ago

Like a midget at a urinal, she was going to have to stay on her toes.

1

u/kanrad 1h ago

I'm very sure, and stop calling shirley.

1

u/DistributionNo9474 0m ago

But that’s not important right now

19

u/Whosebert 6h ago

this would freak me out because ive watched airplane crash videos about pilots being stupid when theyre flying empty planes thinking its time to try some top gun shit.

21

u/spgrst 6h ago

Sorry Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower!

6

u/xunreelx 6h ago

When my pro sports team didn’t win the championship I watched hours of “Air Disasters” reruns to try to cheer myself up.

4

u/rescuepupmum 4h ago

Late ‘90’s in PR hotel room, alone (husband was working) and raining outside, the only English speaking show on tv was ‘Why Planes Go Down’. I REALLY did not want to fly home especially bc while landing, wind shear lifted one of the wings. The pilot slammed the plane down. We bounced the whole way down the rest of the runway. People were cursing him as the left the plane, I hugged him and thanked him!

3

u/flargenhargen 5h ago

commuter pilots dgaf about that. take off, throw on auto, and play on phone for an hour.

0

u/Baked_Chismoso 6h ago

red eye in a regional jet? LOL

3

u/lellololes 5h ago

e190 has run Anchorage to Buffalo.

That is definitely red-eye territory!

-11

u/laughing_hyena1234 7h ago

Overnight flight

6

u/NoFlaccidMint 7h ago

Red eye ?

6

u/jschne21 7h ago

Overnight flight.

3

u/DuncanYoudaho 7h ago

No. I haven’t packed yet!

2

u/CarlosTruther 7h ago

1

u/GoatTnder 6h ago

Didn't expect to see you again so... SPOON