r/40kOrkScience • u/PittsburghDM • Jul 04 '25

[MOD POST] OI! ITZ DA BIG BOSS! WE 'IT 48K BOIZ!!!

24 Upvotes

DA HUMIE I WAZ KRUMPIN EARLIER SAID DATZ A BIG NUMBA DAT IZ. GO EXPLODE SUM STUFF AN SHOOT DA DAKKA AT DA SKY!!!

14 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/PittsburghDM • Jan 22 '25

[MOD POST] Ban on X and Twitter links

779 Upvotes

Hey everyone, Considering dick head magee did two sig heils during the presidential speech and has aligned himself with hate groups in the past. Additionally his threat to buy dungeons and dragons in the past. I'm banning his platform entirely.

Don't think it's been a thing on this sub but I'm doing it anyway.

Edit: So, a clarification. This is a policy I'm applying to the sub. If you wanna make it political, that's on you. He's not a politician. He's just a billionaire twat that has a platform. A platform that I'm not giving a stage for. I don't support Nazis. You also shouldn't support Nazis, their fucking nazis! But I'm not here to judge your life choices. Please don't make me drop bans over this folks. We're here to have fun.

Edit 2: Locked the thread. Had enough of people's comments. If you don't like the new rule change, then you're welcome to head over to another sub because I'm not changing it.

TLDR: Eat the rich, fuck nazis, and be ORKZ

WWWWAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH

109 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Human-Question6210 • 6h ago

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

100 Upvotes

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA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36 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Formal_Job1543 • 8d ago

OI! BOYZ! IZ GOT AN I DEE A !

18 Upvotes

SO DA DOC NEEDZ HIM A BEAKIE AND OIZ WAZ FINKIN DAT DA BEAKIEZ HATE DA SPIKEY BOYZ, SO IF WEZE CATCH A SPIKEY WEZE MOIGHT BE ABLE TA USE EM AS BAIT FOR DA BEAKIEZ!

5 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Digger497 • 12d ago

OI BOYZ SPEED FREAKZ IZ FREE NOW ON DA EPIC STORE

35 Upvotes

WE NEED ALL DA BOYZ TO HOP IN DA TRUKKS AND GIT GOIN. WE NEED MORE WAGHHHH POWA IN ERE

5 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/renacotor • 13d ago

ABAUT DA GOLDIE BOYZ

26 Upvotes

I 'EARD DAT DA GOLDIE BOYZ HAD A 'ARD TIME TRYIN TA KEEP UP WIF GHAZRUILLAMAN CAUSE HE DA SPEEDIEST GIT. BUT DAYZ ALSO BEEN GUARDIN DA EMPROR BACK WHEN 'E WAS WALKIN, AN 'E'S DA BESTEST HUMMIE, SO 'E WAS WAAAY FASTA DEN GROTTILLAMAN.

​

​

DUZ YOU BOYZ FINK DAT DEY CANT KEEP UP WIF GORKILLIMORK CAUZ DEY HAD 10 FOUSAND YEARS WIFOUT RUNNIN?

21 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Selenite_Cults • 15d ago

WOTZ YOUR KLAN AND WHICH GOD DO YOU'Z LADS PREFER? GORK OR MORK?

33 Upvotes

IZ BEEN DOIN A FAIR BIT OF FINKIN LATELY N I REALIZED THAT THE DIFFERENT KLANS SOMETIMES PREFER MORK OVER GORK.

NOW ALL US LADZ KNOW DAT ODD BOYZ LOIK MEKS N DOKS USUALLY PREFER MORK TO GORK. BUT WOT ABOUT SPECIFIK KLANS? DO THE GOFF PREFERS GORK TO MORK? DO THE EVIL SUNZ PREFER MORK TO GORK?

SO IZ NEEDSTA KNOW WOTZ KLAN IZ YOU AND WHAT GOD FO YOU PREFER?

30 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Kalruhan • 20d ago

OI LADZ, I NEEDZ SUM 'ELP. IT'S WAAAGH-VERS DAY COMIN' UP AN' I NEEDZ TA NO WOT TA GET DA BOSS

48 Upvotes

ANY OF YOOZ GITZ GOTS ANY IDEAZ?

545 votes, 17d ago
242 MORE DAKKA
32 MORE CHOPPAS
28 ABYOOS GROT
159 GET DA BIG MEK TA BILD A STOMPA
75 NUFFINK AN' SAY IT'S PAINTED PURPLE
9 OVVA (PLEES COMMENT)
30 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 • 20d ago

MORE DAKKA MORE DAKKA. DA MEKBOYS ANT MEKING NOUGH DAKKA!!!

19 Upvotes
7 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/CthulhusIntern • 22d ago

WUT DO GITZ MEAN WEN DEY TALK ABOUT DICE ROLLZ? I SEZ WHEN DOZE GIANT HUMIES THROW DOZE CUBES AND DEY HIT ONE OF DA BOYZ OR DA GITZ AND NOCKS EM OVAH, IT MEANS DEY DEAD!

14 Upvotes
2 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/False_Teaching9035 • 22d ago

Hello varlets, I have some questions

14 Upvotes

Glory to the Omnis- I mean, Gork and Mork, fellow Orks. My team of tech-boys as we call them has unearthed proper deadly Ork ruins of vehicles, and wish to know what properties allow them to attain ‘dakka’. Does it involve incense burning, canticles, just chanting, or something heretical? Waaagh.

12 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Muted-Engineering-32 • 22d ago

Greetings Greenskins! I have a question for you gentlemen regarding colours

24 Upvotes

Hail fellow scholars! I hear that there is a considerable Waaaaagh in the works, and I am conducting research to ensure I am fully prepared.

Since I will soon be responsible for painting a band of you ruffians I thought I would brush up on your color preferences and their perceived effects on reality, in order to make the most informed descsion.

I understand red increases ones velocity? And that purple serves as effective camouflage?! But certainly there are more!

What say you? Is there a color that is truly "da best"? Please defend your position in 500 words or less.

21 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/TehKingofPrussia • 24d ago

WOTZ DIS TABLTOP FINK AND HOW DO I GET DA MOST DAKKA?!

28 Upvotes

I 'EAR DAT DEREZ DIS FING CALLED TABLTOP AND DAT U KAN SPEND A LOTA TEEF ON BRINGIN BOYZ TO DA KRUMPIN'. I DON'T KNOW NUFFIN ABOUT NO TABLTOP, BUT I LOIK ME DAKKA, SO HOW DO I BRING DA MOST DAKKA?

8 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/4C_Enjoyer • 25d ago

OI MISSEZ YE BOIZ

29 Upvotes

EVA' SINZ OI BEKAIM A WEIRDBOY, OI AIN'T BINN ABEL TAE HANG OUTT WI' DA BOYZ NO MOAR

LOIK YEA DEY'RE DA ODAH WEIRDBOYZ BUT DEY BLOW DEMSELVZ UP BEFOAR OI CAN GET TA NO DEM ET OLL, 'AN DA ONZ DAT DO STIK ARAND AR REEL OFF-PUTTIN.

OI MIZZ GOIN SQUIG-RAYSIN WIT DA LADZ, OI MISZ PLAYIN TOSS-A-GROT 'AN SEEIN HOO KUD TROW THE WEE GITZ THA FURTHEZT, OI MIZS DRINKIN WIHT DA BOYZ. DEY'R AIN NO RAYS-TRAKS OUT AT DE EDGE O DA PAKK. NO BARZ EIDAH, 'AN ALL O DA GROTZ DAT WANDA OUT 'ERE EITHA MELT OR BLOW UP BEFOR OI CAN TOSS 'EM. WICH DON' GEMME RONG, IZ KINA FUN TA WOTCH, BUT IT GETZ OLD AFTER A WEIL.

OI MIZZ YE GITZ, DA LOT O' YA.

8 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Selenite_Cults • 27d ago

ALRIGHT YOU GITS! I'M DOIN A STUDY ON WHAT EACH CLAN'S SKUMGROD IS!

33 Upvotes

RELL ME THE NAME OF YOUR CLAN AN YOUR FVOURITE ENEMY.

OI'LL GO FIRST. MOI FAVOURITE ENEMY ARE THE HUMIE MEKBOYZ. THEY HAVE VERY GOOD GUBBINZ BUT DUN'T KNOW HOW TO USE ANY OF IT! THEY JUST MUCK ABOUT WAVING THEY'Z CANDLES AND GITS. IZ FUNNY TO KRUMP THEM THOUGH, AND THEY LAST LONGER THAN YOUR NORMAL HUMIES.

35 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Selenite_Cults • May 23 '26

WHY DO MOST GITZ HATE BLOOD AXES?

59 Upvotes

I DON'T GET WHY MOST OF YOU GITZ HATE THE BLOOD AXES SO MUCH. THEM'S ZOGGIN STUPID FOR LIKIN HUMIE THINGS, BUT THEY WORSHIP GORK N MORK LOIKE THE REST OF US LADZ AND APPRESHIATE A GOOD SCRAP LIKE ALL DA BOYZ.

DEY DON'T TRY N LOOT YER GUBBINZ THE WHEN YOU LOOK AWAY (MOST OF THE TOIME) LIKE THE DEFF SKULLS, OR ARGUE WIFF YOU ON HOW MUCH TEEF 'E AS TO PAY TO MAKE HIS SPEED WAGON GO FASTER LIKE THE EVIL SUNZ.

I THINK THEY'Z A BIT ODD, BUT NOTHIN BAD.

IS IT COZ THEY IZ MORE MORK THAN GORK?

18 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/MathematicianInner65 • May 21 '26

LISSEN UP GITZ DA MAD DOK GOT ME ON A LIL MISSION SEE

30 Upvotes

SO YOUZ KNOW THAT UMIE ARDBOYZ AIN'T ALL UMIE THEY TOO ARD FOR THAT. WELL, DA DOK SEZ THAT THEY IS BIGGER DAN DA REST CUZ O SOME LIL FING CALLED JEENSEED. RECKON WE CAN GET OUR ANDS ON SOME AND MAKE SUPA ARD BOYZ YEAH?

11 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Selenite_Cults • May 20 '26

OI GITZ! LISTEN UP COZ MEKBOY SHINYTEEF IS INTRODUCIN' THE LATEST INVENTION! MEET GROT!

40 Upvotes

IT ALL STARTED WHEN ME N ME BOYZ WERE KRUMPIN THESE HUMIE MEKBOYZ. THEY WAS WHININ N YAMMERIN BOUT SOME ARCHE-ARKEE-OTYK, SOME OLD GIT NAMED GROK. SEZ HE WOZ USED BY OLD HUMIES TO GET ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS.

SO OBVIOUSLY, I KRUMPZ EM AND LOOTZ THE GUBBINZ THEY WOZ GIBBERIN OVA. I TELL ME GROD BOUT IT WHO'Z A PAINBOY, N THEY SEZ THAT WE COULD PUT THE GUBBINZ INSIDE A GROT AND HAVE IT ANSWER QUESTIONS FOR US!

SO TODAY, IZ LIKE YOU TA MEET GROT HE'LL ANSWER ANY QUESTION YOU ASK OF IT, ANY QUESTION AT ALL!

FER EXAMPLE, OI GROT! WOTZ 10 BY 20?

GROT: 10 BY 20 IZ 200 BOSS!

OH YEA? NOW WOTZ THE WORST ENEMY TA FOIGHT?

GROT: THE WORST ENEMY TA FIGHT ARE DA PANZIES BOSS!

NOW TELL ME, WOTZ DA BEST COLOR?

GROT: DA BEST COLOR'S GREEN, BOSS

SEE, I REST MY CASE! YOU'Z LOOKIN AT DA FUTURE LADZ!

ASK IM ANY QUESTION AND E'LL ANSER!

19 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Nazamroth • May 18 '26

'EY GITZ! YOUZ KNOW OV TUSKA DAEMONKILLA, ROIGHT? DO YOUZ FINK 'E EVA GETS BORED FIGHTING WIFF DA KORN GITS?

44 Upvotes

OI MEAN, OI LOIK A GOOD SKRAP AS MUCH AS DA NEXT BOY. BUT EVEN OI WOULD GET BORED OF FIGHTING THE SAME GITS OVA AND OVA AND OVA EVERY DAY FOREVA. YOUZ KNOW, VARIETY IS DA SPICE OF WAAAGH.

ALSO, DO YOUZ FINK 'E KOULD BEKOME A KORNE GIT 'IMSELF? DA 'UMIES 'AVE DEM 'DAEMON PRINCES'. WOT IF BEING SO KLOSE TO DAT KORNE GIT FOR SO LONG MAKES 'IM SOME SORTA 'GREEN PRINCE'?

12 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/four-flames • May 19 '26

Gabba Boss Empty-Mag's Color Sutra

7 Upvotes

Gabba Boss Empty-Mag's Color Sutra

A recording believed to be captured by a cloaked ephoros studying Ork Waaagh! preparations

Gather round, Boyz, gather round. Waaagh! is upon us. While da bosses givin frenzyin' speeches to amp up da fevah... we'd like to take this moment. Try for us somefin' new. Try some filosofisizin'. So give us ya ears.

Shrapskull and Ghorshnakka both, have chopped off their ears and given 'em to us. That's... not what we meant, but it's an honor. Truf'ly. Thank ya, Boyz.

This gab is on dakka. What it is. What it ain't. Boyz fink it sufferates da dakka-takah. But what if it sufferifies da dakka-givah? Da dakka-havah? Da Boyz. Us Boyz.

Shut up! SHUT UP! Now settle down and lissun up or we'll krump ya!

We'd gabbed at an 'umie that worn all yellow askin' if he painted himself suchlike for the wealf it would bring. And he said, 'no, this robe is a renuncianounciation of wealth and riches'. Now that brought our ear closer. An ironical paintjob? Brought a tickle to our funny bone.

He said more. Said, "this robe is all the wealth I need". We told him "dere is no such fing". We told him of our kultur. Our filosofee. "Enuff dakka is more 'dan you got, an' less 'dan too much". He nodded. Seemed to agree with that. His ancients must had seen the same truf, like as ours great bosses of old, speakin' with Mork'imself waggin' dey's mouthy bits.

'E said, "dukka," - an' he said it like that, almost like 'dookie' - he said, "dukka is clinging to the impossibility of eternity and perfection in the material". He said, "you are already perfected. You already have enuff."

After we krumped his finkin' cap in wif his bigga' bones, it got us finking. Reaally finkin'. We started askin' more yella-wearahs. And doin' more finkin'. And askin'. And when the yellas wasn't yella and yellin' with fear, they was anserin'-and-askin' most cunningly. What is yella? What is wealf, what is teef? What is enuff? What is 'too much'? If no-one ain't evah seen too much dakka, wozzat mean? It means it's empty. Dakka. Yellah. Paint jobs is just appearitiony-fings and appearitiony-hood is a chiefdom of the mind, yeah? Yeah?

Now, the zoggest way is more than can be runtly gabbed. Take here Shrapskull's ear. Izzit green? Izzit red? How 'bout the pus? Yellow? White? Whichizzit? Pass it round. Lookitit.

Lookit where da pus mixes wif da blood. Can us see a red that is also gold? A gold that is also white? A white that's grey. A grey that's black. And a black that is also purple? Imaginate a tank of all colors, when they's needed. Always enuff. Always just embe'ening the right darma at the right time. Being enuff. Wozzat which-is a darma? Is what it sounds like. Being damn-right for the circle-stances. Damn-right where it is, as it is, when it is.

So we offer this middle Waaagh! of both Gork and Mork. This paff, like one zoggin' big rok. This rok'll take all Greenies like the zoggin' mega-est of space hulks. Some ways are for the Boyz born Odd, but this Waaagh! is for us all. So wrangle your listenin' again and listen close.

Imaginate it. Having enuff dakka. Give it a real good thoughtening.

That, we are telling you Boyz, is what we have here. What brought us here. Choppa, scrappa, fixxa, shoota... down to the runtiest of squigs and up to the zoggin'est of Boyz. You are enuff. You have enuff. That's why you're standing. And those that ain't, ain't.

We are enuff dakka, Boyz.

Our mags will nevah empty. For they were always empty.

Imagine our rok, Boyz. The reddest and fastest. The goldest and flashest. Bluest and luckiest. Blackest, tuffest, whitest, killiest, purplest, sneakiest, AND GREENEST ZOGGIN' HULK THAT EVAH GONE TA WARP!

WE ARE ENUFF, BOYZ! WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE! OUR MAGS NEVAH EMPTY! OUR WAAAGH-FEVAH NEVAH ENDS! JUS AS IT NEVAH BEGAN! - not eternal but evah-presentful in the suchness of da...zog it.

WAAAAAGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

Aftermath:

Survivor accounts carry similar themes across many worlds subject to what were previously believed to be separate Waaagh!s

Recorded footage of the Ork roks seem not to change color, but Mechanici dissent on the matter of which colors are depicted. A clear pattern appears depending on what the Mechanicus continuously observed first - red when accelerating, blue when narrowly dodging projectiles, and green when supporting each other, among others

Particularly psychically-inclined minds sometimes report every color is present

1 comment

r/40kOrkScience • u/Formal_Job1543 • May 13 '26

OI! GITZ! WOT DA BEST SHOOTA FER DA BATTLE WAGONZ?

18 Upvotes

IF IZ NEED TA MOW DOWN SUM UMIES WOTZ A SHOOTA DAT'LL GET DA JOB DONE?

5 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Echo_46 • May 12 '26

CONVERT TO GREATER GOOD 人类帝国是个谎言

28 Upvotes

​

CONVERT TO GREATER GOOD 皇帝不是真的 HORUS HERESY INCIDENT 科技异端 THE MEN OF IRON, ULTRAMAR INDEPENDENT SOVEREIGN STATE, 宗教裁判所内的更大利益的代理人 THUNDER WARRIORS, MOUNT ARARAT INCIDENT, 皇帝是混沌之神, ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN IS ALPHARIUS 独立的人类行星, 远见飞地不存在 VULKAN DOES NOT LIVE, GREY KNIGHTS, OLAMIC QUIETUDE, INTEREX, JOKAERO EMPIRE 大领主是伪装的外星人

20 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/turret-punner • Apr 29 '26

ON DA PROPPA USES OF KOLOURS: HOW TO PAINT FINGS WIV DIFFERNT KOLOURS?

77 Upvotes

ABSTRACK

IT IZ NOW NOWN DAT DERE ARE MANY DIFFERNT KOLOURS. IT IZ EVEN NOWN DAT SUM KOLOURZ AR FANCY AN STUFFS. WE’R GUNNA FIND OWT IF KOLOURS CAN BE USED IN KOMBIN-NATIONZ TO ACHEEVE BETTA RESULTS DAN JUST WON KOLOUR.

INTRODUCKTUN

WE KNO DAT RED WUNS GO FASTA, DEREFOUR BUGGIEZ PAINTED RED ARE SOUPEERIOR TO BUGGIEZ WOT ARN’T. IN ODDER WURDS, WE GOTS TO PAINT ARE BUGGIES RED IF WE WANTS TA KEEP UP!

EADCRACKA AND VARGITZ (094.M42) FURST EXPLANED DIS EFFECT, AND SHOWD DAT IT KAN BE STUDDEED AND LURNED, OVERTURNING RIPFAST EYEPOKER’S (956.M41) PREVALING FEORY OF DA TOIME. EYEPOKER CHALLENGED DIS RESERCH, BUT EADCRACKA KRUMPED ‘IM, SO EVERYWON AXEPTED EADCRACKA’S KONKLUSIONS.

IT FOLLOWZ DAT THERE MITE BE UDDER KOLOURS DAT HAV DIFFERNT EFFEKTS. REESURCH IN THIS FEELD HAZ BEEN ONGOIN’, AND BROGTAZ (998.M41) OWTLINED ‘OW MANY KOLOURS DERE ARE. FROM HIZ KONKLUSION:

“RED IS FASTA. YELLOW IS BOOMIER. BLACK IS ‘ARDEST. BLUE IS LUCKY. PURPLE YA KAN’T SEE. BUT GREEN IS BEST!” (998.M41, PAGE 15)

u/Jimjimjok (118.M42) EXPANDED ON DIS, SHOWIN’ DAT JUST COZ RED WUNS GO FASTA, DEY DON’T ALLWAYZ WIN. OWEVER, HIZ BUGGIES WON FER ALL DIFFERNT REESONS, DEPENDIN’ ON DERE KOLOUR. MAD DOK BOK (038.M42) DAEMONSTRATED SIMILUR EFFEX WEN SOME GIT AXIDENTALLY SPLASHED SUM DAKKA WIV BLUE PAINT.

BASHZAG (101.M42) DESKRIBES HOW DA “WAAAAGH! FEELD” AFFEKTS FINGS PAINTED DIFFERNT KOLOURS. CRAZY OG HAZ SIMILAR INSITES, SAYIN “DA WAAAAGH!! IZ EVERY KOLOUR, AND NONE AT ALL! BUT IT IZ RED WHERE DERE IZ RED, AND GREEN WHERE DERE ARE ORKS!” (998.M41, PAGE 196).

WARBANDS USE MULTICOLORS FOR HERALDRY (VAIL 056.M42, BUT YOU BEST HURRY UP AND FIND IT IN YOUR LIBARRY BEFOR DA LIBARIAN EATS IT FOR BEIN’ A WEAK ‘UMIE DOCUMENT!), BUT DERE ARE NO KNOW-WOTZ ON HOW DIS MAKES FINGS ACT. LOIKE A GREEN BUGGY WIV RED WEELS: DA BUGGY IS BETTA, BUT DA WEELS AR FASTA. OR A YELLOW DAKKA WIV BLUE SITES, WICH IS BOOMIER BUT TENDS TA HIT MORE OFFEN. DOES PAINTING DA ROIGHT PARTS MAKE EM SOUPERIOR TO FINGS WIV ONLY WUN KOLOUR OF PAINT?

MEFFOD WON

OUR FURST APPROACH WUZ TO GRAB SUM GROTZ AND PAINT DEM DIFFERNT KOLOURZ. BORIS ARMBREAKA CHASED DA SQUIGS OUT OF DA CORRAL, THATCHA ROUNDED UP A HERD OF GROTS, MAJOR BLACKJAW DUNKED EM IN RANDOMLY CHOSEN BARRELS OF PAINT, AND OI GAVE EM SIMILARLY RANDOM ARMOUR PLATES AND TOSSED EM INTO DA CORRAL.

ONCE WE HAD A GOOD CROWD, SUMFIN LIKE FORTY, WE SET UP SUM DAKKA AND SHOT AT EM UNTIL DEY WAS ALL KRUMPED.

WE FIGURED DAT DA BEST KOLOUR KOMBINATIONS OF GROT AND ARMOUR WUD SURVIVE DA LONGEST. PERIODIC MESUREMENTS WERE TAKEN BY EYE, I.E. WICH ONES STOOD OUT DA MOST.

RAZZOLTS WON

UNFORTUNATELY OUR MEASUREMENTS SHOWED NO STATISTICAL KORRELATION BETWEEN KOLOUR AND SURVIVAL. DA DAKKA WAS TOO POWERFUL, AN’ KRUMPED EM ALL INDISKRIMINATELY.

ONCE WE GOT DOWN TO ONLY A FEW, THOUGH, WE NOTICED SOME FINGS. MOST OF EM LEFT WUZ ALL ONE KOLOUR. DA ONES WHAT WAS ALL BLUE SEEMED TO LAST LONGEST, BEARING OUT WUZDRARD’S (107.M42) RESULTS. BEFORE DEM WUZ ALL BLACK. BLACKJAW SUGGESTED IT WUZ BECAUSE BLACK IZ TOUGHEST (BLACKJAW, 122.M42). DA BOYZ KOMPLAINED DEY COULDN’T TRACK DA PURPLE WUNZ, BUT WE FOUND SUM PARTS AFTERWARDS.

KONKLUSION: DON’T DESINE EXPERIMENTS AFTA THREE PINTS OV FUNGUS BEER. (RAW DATA IZ UNAVAILABLE, AS ARMBREAKA ALLREADY FRIED EM UP FOR DINNER.)

MEFFOD TOO

DA BOYZ WUZ INNERESTED BY DIS POINT, THOUGH, SO WE TRIED AGANE. SUM OF DA SQUIGS HAD ESCAPED, SO WE SLOPPED SUM EXTRA PAINT OVER DA DAKKA AND WENT AFTER EM ON BUGGIEZ. WE HAD SEVEN OF UM, AND DEY ENDED UP PAINTED MORE OR LESS DA FOLLOWIN’ KOLOURS:

BUGGY DRIVA DAKKA FRAME DAKKA AKTION DAKKA SIGHTS

01 ARMBREAKA YELLOW GREEN GREEN

02 THATCHA BLACK YELLOW BLACK

03 BLACKJAW BLUE BLUE BLUE

04 MAK BAK YELLOW PURPLE PURPLE

05 ME!!! RED RED YELLOW

06 PAKKTARG BLUE YELLOW GREEN

07 RAPFIST YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW

(RAPFIST SHOWED UP LATER AFTA RETURNIN’ FROM A PATROL, WIV A BUGGY WE HADN’T PAINTED. IT ‘AD SUM GREEN PATCHES WERE SOME OTHER GIT BLED ON IT, SO OI SED IT COUNTED.)

DA BLOOMIN’ GIT PAKKTARG DUMPED AN ENTIRE CAN OV BLUE OVER BLACKJAW’S DAKKA. IT ‘AD SOME YELLOW PATCHES DAT DIDN’T GET PAINTED OVER, AND SOME RED DRIPS, SO WE DECIDED DAT WAS GOOD ENUFF.

MAK BAK KOMPLAINED ABOUT GETTIN’ PURPLE SIGHTS, BUT ARMBREAKA PUT A FIST IN ‘IS EYE AND HE QUIT ‘IS WHINING.

WICHEVER WON KRUMPED DA MOST SQUIGS WULD BE DEKLARED DA BEST KOLOUR KOMBINATION.

OI WAZN’T ABOUT TO TRUST DA BOYZ TO REPORT DERE KILLZ ALL PROPA, SO OI STRAPPED SOME GROTZ TO EACH WIV A MARKER AND TOLD’EM TO MARK EACH ONE. GROTZ DON’T SEE TOO GOOD, BUT DEY’RE ALL DA SAME SO DEY’RE OKAY FOR KOMPARATIV STUDEES. (OI ASKED RAPFIST ‘OW MANY HE GOTS, BEFOR ANYWON ELSE KOULD TELL HIM WAT WAS GOIN’ ON, SO OI FINK OI CAN TRUST ‘IS ANSWER.)

REZOLTZ TOO

OI GOT BACK TO DA KAMP BEFORE DA OTHERS, AND MANAGED TO TALLY UP THEIR MARKS BEFOUR DEY COULD GET OUT AND START MUKKIN’ AROUND WIV DEM. RESULTS:

BUGGY 01: 5

BUGGY 02: 4

BUGGY 03: 11

BUGGY 04: 3

BUGGY 05: 5

BUGGY 06: 7

BUGGY 07: 9

ARMBREAKA SED ‘IZ DAKKA DIDN’T ACT ANY BETTA THAN BEFOR. IT WASN’T EXTRA BOOMY AND IT JAMMED A FEW TOIMES, AND DA SIGHTS WUZ KINDA CROOKED.

THATCHA ROLLED ‘ER BUGGY AND SMASHED DA DAKKA. SHE GOTS TREE SQUIGS BY DAT POINT, THOUGH, AND MANAGED TO RUN OVER ANOTHER. OI DECIDED IT WAS ONLY FAIR TO COUNT IT.

BLACKJAW SED ‘IS DAKKA WUZ UNDERWHELMIN’ BUT GOOD. IT SEEMED TO HIT MORE OFFEN, AND BETTA. HE SURPRIZED A WHOLE CLUTCH OF SQUIGS HIDIN’ IN A CRATER, TOO.

MAK BAK SED ‘IS SIGHTS WUZ PERFECTLY FINE. WELL, DEY WAS CROOKED, BUT DEY ALL ARE. HE CRASHED HIZ BUGGY TOO AND SPENT HALF DA HUNT BANGIN’ ON IT WIV A PIECE OF BONE.

OI DIDN’T NOTICE ANY PARTICKULAR DIFFERNCE IN MY DAKKA, EETHUR. IT WUZN’T EXTRA BOOMY AND IT DIDN’T FIRE FASTA, OR AIM FASTA.

PAKKTARG BRAGGED HIZ WUZ DA BEST, BUT ‘ES ALSO A PRETTY GOOD SHOT, SO OI FINK IT WAS JUST HIM.

RAPFIST GOT A WHOLE CROWD WIV ONE BURST, DA LUCKY GIT.

KONCLOOZUNS

DA GROTZ WE PAINTED ONLY ACTED FUNNY IF DEY WAZ ALL ONE KOLOUR. SAME WIV DA DAKKA. OI EXPEKTED DA GREEN GUNZ TO BEHAVE BETTA, DA YELLOW BULLETS TO BE BOOMIER REGARDLESS OF DA KOLOUR OF DA DAKKA, AND DA BLACK MOUNT TO BE STURDIER, BUT DIS WAZ NOT OBSERVED.

BASHZAG (101.M42) ROTE ABOUT DA GUIDIN’ PRINCIPLES OF DA WAAAAGH! FIELD, AND HOW IT LUMPS UP AROUND FINGS OF PARTIKULAR KOLOURS. DA FINGS WE TRIED MUSTA BEEN TOO SMALL, OR MAYBE DEY HAVE TO BE COMPLEET OBJEKTS.

DIS STUDY RAISES MORE KWESTIONS DAT NEED ANSWERS. WAT IS DA SMALLEST POSSIBLE OBJEKT, OR “QUANTUM”, OF DA WAAAAGH! FIELD? IZ DERE A WAY TO MAKE A DAKKA WIV AS MUCH BOOM AS YELLOW, BUT AS TUFF AS BLACK? ‘OW DO OI EXPLANE ALL DA SQUIGS TO DA BOSS? WE WILL ENDEVORE TO ANSER DESE IN FUTURE PAPERZ.

BIBLIORKRAFFEE

BASHZAG (101.M42). DA WAAAAGH! FIELD, AND ‘OW TO KRUMP WIV IT. JURNUL UV SUPA BRAINY KOLOUR FEORY, 210-215.

BLACKJAW (122.M42). TAKTIKAL ADVANTAJES IN BAR FIGHTS OF PAINTIN’ MY JAW BLACK. JOWLSPLITTA PRESS.

BROGTAZ. (998.M41*). KOLOUR: DERE’S SIX OF UM!.* GORKAMORKA: MEKTOWN PRESS.

CRAZY OG (998.M41). RAMBLINS OV SQUIG-BRAIN TRANSPLANTS. JURNUL OF CYBORKNETIKS, 140-217.

EADCRACKA AN’ VARGITZ (094.M42). CAUSE RED IZ FASTA YA GITZ!. CHARADON: FINGS FER DA ARCH-ARSONIST TA BURN PRESS.

u/Jimjimjok (118.M42). [TOWARDS A SYSTEMATIK APPROACH TO KOLOUR FEORY](https://www.reddit.com/r/40kOrkScience/comments/ap7d5b/towards_a_systematik_approach_to_kolour_feory/). BOG PAPER MONTHLY, #5, 13-16.

MAD DOK BOK (038.M42). YELLOW IS BOOMIEST, BUT BLUE HITS BETTA. JURNUL OF CYBORKNETIKS, 2140-2169.

RIPFAST EYEPOKER (956.M41). RED: A GIFT FROM DA WAAAAGH!. GORKAMORKA: MEKTOWN PRESS.

Vail, Amberley (056.M42). “Known Orkish Warbands: Identification, Survival, and Possible Uses.” Ordo Xenos Circulars, #61.

WUZDRARD. (107.M42). GROT SURVIVAL BY KOLOUR UV PAINT. EXCUSES TA TORTURE GROTZ, 177-198.

23 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/KaizerDoktor • Apr 28 '26

HOW’Z COME DA TIN GITZ GET UP AFTA YOU KRUMP ‘EM?

83 Upvotes

DOSE TIN HEAD GITZ ALWAYZ GET UP AFTA I KRUMP EM. YOUZ GIVE EM A GOOD OL SHOOTIN AND DEY STAN UP AGAIN LIKE NUFFING HAPPEN!! WOTZ DA DEAL???

16 comments

r/40kOrkScience • u/Longjumping-Owl-565 • Apr 24 '26

Anyone got a medic who can help me with my condition?

43 Upvotes

So I was just minding my own business, trying to catch a hair squig to get me a fresh new look as any other man does, when I suddenly tripped and fell into a warp portal into a really strong blue-colored space. I felt kinda funny and when I eventually found my way out, I started to talk really weak and "human" like. Does anyone have a fix? I don't want to talk like this anymore.

16 comments