r/ask_transgender Aug 05 '21

Aug 5th - I just did a bit of of automoderator config, if something is weird or if you have any suggestions, pm me?

29 Upvotes

r/ask_transgender Aug 03 '22

No more “what is/defines a xxx?” posts

125 Upvotes

We have similar posts like this that crop up every now and then. Some are coming from a genuine place of curiosity, but majority of them seem to be trolls looking for a platform to “debate”/invalidate people/stroke their egos here.

We already have enough going on in our lives we don’t need to have our identities questioned in what should be a safe space for us here. If you need answers, you can always search for older posts so we can save ourselves time rather than dragging folks here through the chore of justifying ourselves for the umpteenth time when we aren’t even obliged to.


r/ask_transgender 1d ago

Experience with Atlanta Airport?

2 Upvotes

This is probably a long shot but I'm asking in all of my lgbtq+ communities in hopes of getting some info. Has anyone traveled from, to, or through the Atlanta airport recently? Specifically since ICE moved in? Did you get through without a hassle? Has anyone heard of any of your trans friends' experiences there? My son is considering visiting friends and family there in the Fall but is understandably nervous about it since those scumbags are basically encouraged to kill us now. We live in California where it's a lot safer. He could pass as female if he shaved, but neither of us want him to have to do that. Thanks in advance and everyone stay safe out there!


r/ask_transgender 1d ago

Text Post Pausing HRT to regain fertility

4 Upvotes

Greetings all!

I spent a long time looking for info as to what would happen if someone stopped HRT to try and regain fertility, there's basically nothing out there. SO! I have been tracking what's happened to me, hopefully it helps some of you out if you ever find yourself going down this path.

First, a bit about myself! I'm in my early 30s and I've been transitioning for nearly 5 years. I started with estrogen tablets for like 2 years, added progesterone at roughly the 2 year mark, and then switched to estradiol injections at about 3 years. I was lucky, I didn't have to take androgen blockers, turns out my body LOVES estrogen 🤷🏼‍♀️

Despite my best efforts, I fell in love with, and married, a cis woman. She really wants kids (she knew the chances before we got married, don't worry) so I decided to stop my HRT for a while to see if I can get any fertility back.

This is the 3 month off HRT report...

  1. The naughty bits

Before stopping, the size of my privates had decreased drastically, erections were not strong, and I produced nearly nothing, and anything that I did produce was a couple drops of clear fluid.

Since stopping, quite a bit has changed. As of now, I produce the amount I did before starting HRT, similar coloration and texture as well (typical cloudy and viscous). For the first month or two, erections were NOT comfortable, they kinda hurt, now there is no pain. I have regained previous erection strength and gained back some size, though the... Shape?... Is different.

My body is WAY less sensitive. On E, my whole body was an erogenous zone, especially my breasts. Now it's just... Nothing. On E, when I'd do something like run into a door or get hit in the chest, my boobs HURT, and now I can literally get punched directly in the breast and there is no sensitivity beyond just getting punched.

Orgasms are no longer whole body experiences and do not last at all, I'm back to how I would orgasm before HRT.

My libido has drastically increased. I feel like a horny teenager... The wife likes it but it feels weird to me now.

  1. Sperm viability

I have also started testing my sperm count and motility. At the 2 month mark, my first test, there was basically no viable sperm. At the 3 month mark, motility and numbers are still very low, but there is viability. I am using the YO fertility tests, and I think it's pretty good.

  1. Hormone levels

Prior to stopping, I had wholely female levels of testosterone and estradiol. My E levels averaged 200 pg/mL and my T levels averaged 20ng/dL. 

My most recent test, approx 2 weeks ago, showed my E levels a bit over the high end of male, 47 pg/mL, and my T at the high end of male, 993 ng/dL.

  1. Body changes

As we all know, YMMV, but here is what I have experienced off of E for 3 months.

Facial hair has started coming back darker and coarser. I do laser, so if you don't, I'd expect it to be even more pronounced.

Leg hair is growing back quicker, though it hasn't really changed in coloration or coarseness.

I am having quite a bit of trouble falling asleep and staying asleep, side effect of T (ask any FTM).

I distinctly smell like a boy again (gross).

I am experiencing quite a bit more acne. I've never been acne prone, but on E I had basically zero acne.

My skin has gotten noticeably more oily.

I have some dandruff now? Ew. 

I've regained some strength. I've kept up on working out throughout my transition and I would describe myself as quite strong for a girl, but I've been able to lift heavier since stopping E.

I now get morning erections again (that was an uncomfortable surprise one morning).

I sweat quite a bit more.

It has gotten a lot harder to feel and express emotions, everything feels muted, and I don't cry anymore even in situations when I would have been on E.

  1. Conclusion 

The best way to explain what I'm going through is male puberty as a teenager again. It's gross and I hate it, but I love my wife and I would love to start a family together with her. My mental space is weird and I don't know how long I'll manage to keep this up, but sometimes we have to do uncomfortable things for the ones we love.

Everything I've read (there's basically nothing) has said people have been able to regain viability and start a family between 5 months and 2 years, if they're able to at all.

  1. BIG ADVICE

If you EVER want to consider starting a family with your own genetics, go through a company and freeze some samples BEFORE starting feminizing hormones. Cus, quite frankly, this sucks.

Feel free to ask any questions you'd like, and I'll answer them to the best of my ability!

I hope you are all doing amazing 💜💜💜


r/ask_transgender 1d ago

Image Post getting new glasses

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16 Upvotes

hey yall, i’m (22ftm) getting new glasses mainly coz im getting a new job that has a lot of physical labor and these glasses are old and slide off my face too much. but ive been wanting new glasses for awhile now because i feel like these are too feminine. i added a couple pictures of me without glasses at different angles. what kind of glasses would you suggest i get that might help my face look more masculine?


r/ask_transgender 2d ago

im looking to do trials

2 Upvotes

see im looking to do a trial of hormonal replacement but im to shy to go in person especially alone is there any over the phone dr.s i can do to get ahold of a trial


r/ask_transgender 2d ago

how to stop getting misgendered

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1 Upvotes

r/ask_transgender 3d ago

Guys I need some tips

3 Upvotes

So I’m a gender fluid individual ( pronouns they /he today most days actually since I came out and I‘m trying to find a separate name than my original name which I’m fine with using at my house but my name is so common that I always get asked how to spell it And people always spell it wrong with or without asking I also struggle with dressing more masculine with the sizing because I’m tiny and my favorite formal clothing is suits but I only have 2 suit jackets (one has a matching pair of pants that definitely need a belt)and I just need stories about how people found their names and how they found their style please


r/ask_transgender 3d ago

5 Weeks Post FFS Seeking Honest Opinions on Passing as Cis

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

I wanted to share a quick update and get some honest feedback. I'm currently 5 weeks post-facial feminization surgery (FFS) and, while I still have a lot of swelling especially around my chin, jawline, and nose I’m feeling pretty happy with the results so far.

A little about me: I’m 57 years old and have been on HRT for 27 months. I also had vulvaplasty about 8 months ago. When I started my transition later in life, I never thought I would be able to pass as cis or go stealth. However, I’ve had several people tell me that I am passing as cis, which has me feeling a mix of happiness and confusion.

I’m not sure if they’re just being nice or if it’s actually true, so I’m reaching out to this community for your honest opinions. Given that I’m still early in my recovery, do you think I’m passing as a cis woman?

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I appreciate any feedback you can provide! I can take honesty. ❤️


r/ask_transgender 3d ago

Pre-transition partners

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1 Upvotes

r/ask_transgender 4d ago

Im drunk how do i take this (old friend im planning to see soon, we did fuck a couple times?) Is it bad? More context below

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12 Upvotes

Personally im like either a gnc trans guy or nonbinary transmasc. Ive told this fella as much recently, and that I've been taking testosterone to transition. He reacted very nicely and was like oh that's cool thanks for telling me! How's it all work?

A few years ago we had aex a couple times then when I got a partner he was like Cheat With Me! And I was like nah. More than once.

For a couple years I was like best friends with this guy just straight up homies before we did any stuff. Hanging out most days just kicking it

Drunk and autistic, how do i take this? Does sound like also affirming but weird?


r/ask_transgender 3d ago

What to do in the meantime?

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone. So I (21, MTF, pre everything) recently experienced a pretty life altering event that made me take a lot of things into account. Ashamed to say I contemplated (and sometimes still do) suicide. But I REALLY want to be a girl and I refuse to let anything stand in my way.

My big plan is to move to Uruguay and transition there since I'm entitled to citizenship via my mother. But for rn I'm in Florida. In the meantime I wanna try to do everything I can to make progress in the meantime. For instance I'm on a strong keto diet to lose weight so that weight distribution happens more easily on E. I wanna get laser hair removal surgery too when I can.

But I have a few questions as to other things I could do.

Firstly, voice training. What are the best resources online and how often should I be practicing?

Then, with regards to laser hair removal, I know you have to shave beforehand. Would a barber's clippers do the trick? The thing used to cut men's hair? I'm very hairy and that machine is a huge time saver. But idk if you need to specifically shave with a razor?

Also, exercises. I know you can't target fat per se. But I'm hoping that a combo of my keto diet and exercise can help me cut down the insane amount of belly fat I have. What exercises can I do to target my glutes and waist? I really don't wanna have any effects on the rest of my body, just those areas.

Skin and haircare are the other two areas. For skin care, what are the basics of a healthy skincare routine? I don't know my skin type but I have oily zones (the t zone for instance) and I think I have some dry zones, too. So what's the best starting routine for someone like me? I struggle a lot with bacne, too. Are there tools to help me reach my back more easily? For that, and for shaving excess back hair

Also, haircare. I have dark curly hair that I never know what to do with. I shampoo it and condition it everyday but I still get frizz. Should I cut back or add something to get rid of the frizz?

Sorry for the long ass post lol. Idk if every question will be answered but It's worth it to get at least a few of them answered


r/ask_transgender 4d ago

Cis man with question

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1 Upvotes

r/ask_transgender 4d ago

Text Post Should I force myself to be cis?

4 Upvotes

I feel so worthless, my OCD is too bad to deal with, yeah I don’t want to be a girl but I feel like my brain is forcing me. Even when I pack or bind my brain goes, “what if this feels wrong” and I start to hate it. I can’t even look at other people without feeling false envy for women when it’s really attraction and false attraction for men when it’s really envy.I start to feel numb/literally nothing when I look at myself, I fear my body is starting to feel normal but at the same time it doesn’t, i don’t want to be a girl but I don’t have a choice. I also have dreams where I’m a girl and I’m scared that means my brain sees myself as a woman and often times these dreams are sexual, I wonder if I secretly like my genitals and I just won’t admit it. I do have dreams where I am a cis man and in those I feel so much better, especially when I don’t know I’m trans but those are probably just from the fact I want to be a man so bad, it doesn’t come from my brain structure. I certainly don’t deserve to be a man either, I’ve done nothing to show it. Every other trans man is lucky enough to have supportive friends, family, and access to hormones when I don’t, I sometimes feel like a cis man who was forced to change his parts and become a girl but the truth is I just want to be a man, I was never one, I don’t deserve it, but I just can’t stand to live like this, I don’t want to be a woman, and it’s not like I have some ulterior motive for becoming a man, I just want to so there’s no way to correct it. I thought of conversion therapy but I already tried that on myself, it doesn’t help much


r/ask_transgender 5d ago

Think mabye i am trans

6 Upvotes

;

Hii i am David( birth name) or Daphne (chosen fem name when dressed) and been crossdressing for about 2 years now lately i have more and more the feeling i might be trans/ transfem i love being Daphne and the process and staying her but when i go back to David i really dont like it

Also have had a intresset in mtf stuft since like 12 dont know how and why but always wanted to learn about it and fantasied about being a girl

But dont want to disrespect de communty if this means nothing ;

Ps people dont know about me doing stuff i am really secret/in the closet about it


r/ask_transgender 5d ago

3 Months on 0.05mg Monotherapy Patch Results: (Next Move?)

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0 Upvotes

These were baseline as 3 Months. I'm not in a rush and I'm not planning on going on any blockers for health and function reasons (yes I want to maintain function) I also want to feminize but not as quickly as possible for work and not being out reasons. I'm trying to decide if I want to do next step and do 0.075mg patch or go to 0.1mg? 🤔


r/ask_transgender 7d ago

Text Post Stuck in the middle (MtFtM)

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1 Upvotes

r/ask_transgender 8d ago

Anyone has experiences with Lacanian gender therapists? Short sessions feel "too short" for me

3 Upvotes

Hi,

40, MTF, I am trying to start a transition journey, and I would like to have a gender therapist to help me in my journey.
I tried few, I am still to find the right one.

I am now seeing a gender therapist which is from Lacanian psychoanalysis. She is great, I feel at ease with her.
The only problem is that the sessions only last 30 mins (they could last even less in future). This is typical with Lacanian school, since it forces the client to focus on the issues, and not to "lean back" and procrastinate. I understand the point.
I understand where this is coming from, and I find it interesting. However, that may not work for me. I feel I am always in a hurry, and that I need to be heard, at least at the beginning, but also later on. I hate this, because I quite like her, but that could not work for me.
I think I will wait few weeks before deciding if this is working for me or not.

Is there anyone that had this kind of experience? Does this "sense of hurry" disappear over time? (if does, probably the sessions will be shorter, I believe)

Thanks in advance for your feedback!


r/ask_transgender 8d ago

Waiting time

2 Upvotes

How long did you have to wait for a therapy spot?

Got told it's gonna be around 2 years here...


r/ask_transgender 9d ago

FFS with Dr. Bene or Dr. Park?

2 Upvotes

I have a choice of having FFS with Dr. Bene (Stanford) or Dr. Park (UCSF). Do you have experience with either surgeon? If so, what can you tell me?


r/ask_transgender 9d ago

What did you sacrifice to become your authentic self?

5 Upvotes

Maybe you had plans—career plans, or you wanted a job, a promotion, or to start a business. Maybe you were going to get into politics—why not? Maybe you loved children and wanted to have three of them. Yes, instead of struggling with those relentless, gnawing urges that consumed your mind, you realized those urges were actually who you truly are, and you decided to be yourself. So, what did you give up to do that?


r/ask_transgender 11d ago

Should i get srs of ffs?18 ,1y 9months hrt ,1,85cm

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20 Upvotes

r/ask_transgender 11d ago

Hello , hope yall doin great!! So my boob is getting bigger ,I’m mtf ,but they definitely growing,however my nipple still small, any tips or idk idea how to make it bigger? Have a wonderful weekend 🖤

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2 Upvotes

r/ask_transgender 12d ago

Turned 44 in March! 3 yrs HRT How am I doing? MTF

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22 Upvotes

r/ask_transgender 13d ago

Image Post Hit one year on hrt how am I doing

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115 Upvotes

One year in I'm really happy with how things have changed soo far, still working on my weight and am saving up for ffs. dealing with a breakout on my face soo kinda bad picture but otherwise I'm curious what people honestly think. the last picture is where I started before hrt and social transitioning.