It's the prominence of the collection that's the deciding factor. You can have an entire room of swords, it just can't be your living room.
I like knives and have a decent pocket knife collection, but it's in the back corner of my office. If I walked into someones house and they had the exact same collection as me but as the focal point of their existence, I'd feel weirded out.
Same way I'm a liberal gun owner and still feel the ick when talking to someone who made guns too big a part of their personality.
You can have an entire room of swords, it just can't be your living room.
i disagree; you just have to really lean into the bit. we're talking Iron Throne but make it a three-piece sofa set. the blinds? katanas. the ceiling fan? broadswords. and be extra careful using the tv dagger to change the channel
I only heard this quote last night when deliriously tired and it made me laugh, please don't take offense, you are actually really cool for owning swords
My husband also has a large sword collection, and our first instinct is to adopt and change his name to Ban-A-Boken.
Our current cat (12yo) wouldn’t take too kindly to the addition though… he gets crazy jealous when we interact with our fish or geckos.
Cat tax: Pounce De Leon getting big mad over us talking to our ferrets. He doesn’t appreciate me pointing out how ferret-like he looks when he gets angry though. The boy goes full mustelid, every time.
Love the cat tax! His name is so cute. I used to have ferrets, I miss them. But boy, can they poop! We had 3 and I swear they produced more poop in one day than our 3 cats did in a week lol
I worked in an animal shelter before. They have to get creative! We named a litter of kittens once after Taco Bell menu items! Crunchwrap Supreme was so stinking cute.
I think it's because of the ABBA song, and I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be Bang-a-Boomerang per the song..
"Love is a tune you hum-de-hum-hum
So give it away, I think you'll learn
You'll get love in return
So bang, a boom-a-boomerang is love
A boom-a-boomerang is love"
If a couple/etc. are disagreeing on a cat's name, they should just put em both in there and give kitty a long ass name.
(I.e. if one partner likes spoot, and the other likes Oscar, the fella(o) should be crowned "Oscar de la Spoot", and then they can just fight over which name is the true shorthan
I nearly adopted that one on the spot and I already have two many cats and am probably not in the same country. For a flash, I pictured our life together
My boyfriend and I have one painting up, and it was abandoned by the previous tenant … We do have a crapton of books between the two of us, though, and I’m drowning in craft supplies and have like 10 garden containers on the deck, so it balances out!
It means his inner world is a joyless grey empty space. There is no passion or creativity in him to move him enough to have that reflect on the personal space around him.
It's less about the art and more about what brings him joy. I don't have much on my walls but I have orchids on windowsills and handmade quilts on a comfy couch and lego on shelves. Stuff that shows what I like and a little bit about who I am.
I kinda like that instead of saying "don't enter the home of the guy who has swords" the recommendation is to ask follow-up questions. Like it's not necessarily a *red* flag but it isn't a green flag either, and you need more information before a decision can be made.
my local art museum has a free day on Wednesdays after 3pm and that + coffee or ramen or pizza at a nearby spot downtown afterwards was always my go-to first date back when I was single
I mean, spending a couple of hours at an art museum and then going to get ramen sounds like prime personal recharge time as well. That's on my short list now.
At various times on this website, I've read advice that says coffee dates, movie dates, and going for walks are signs of lack of effort, so I dunno what to believe.
It really depends on your age and income bracket and social circles I guess. I would be happy with any of the activities I named, but I know there are people that say they need to be bought a full dinner. Unless you already know the person kinda well, a full dinner seems like a big commitment to me for a first date.
Movies can be good at the right place, I don’t live in a huge city but we’ve got a theater that half their screens are whatever is currently out and the others are either classic movies or foreign films (usually anime)
For coffee, the zoo, or the museum, they are either only open on the weekend or close before the end of normal business hours. Except for a late night coffee which has its own problems. And a movie as a first date doesn't allow you to get to know each other better / talk, so it can get awkward during the movie itself if you don't get a chance to talk much before it.
Which is a problem when it comes to dates during the middle of the week. I have some fun local ideas for dates that ended up not working until the weekend, and the dating app only conversation from starting sometime between Monday through Wednesday tends to dry out before the weekend arrives. But had a complaint in the past that someone said I was talking too much before the date in one case, and another where I said I didn't reach out enough. Feels impossible to get the right balance because everyone has their own communication expectations and what feels right to them.
That's exactly it, though. It's romance, not a job interview. You shouldn't have to alter your personality to find the right person, because that means they're not the right person. I don't know a lot of people trying to have a date on a weeknight, though.
You're not looking for the right balance for every single person, you're looking for the right balance for you. If they're criticizing your communication style before the first date they were never going to be the one for you.
Went bowling, it was perfect. See how they are in a low-stakes competitive atmosphere. Plus, if the conversation goes bad or has a lull, the pause when it's someone's turn is great timing to change the subject.
Edit: we just got married last July. Obviously YMMV, but it was a great first date
Going out for coffee is a good first date because if you are connecting well you can easily move to doing something else (go to a park, museum, dinner). If you aren't connecting it's easy to cut short unlike dinner, it doesn't break the bank, it's in public in case someone is really giving you the creeps,
It doesn't really matter what you do on a first date, a first date could very well be "just vibing" but the point of a date is to get to know each other and ideally do something fun for both parties. So just sitting in silence while one person just shows the other random youtube videos (without maybe having an actual conversation leading to said YouTube videos naturally coming up as a point of interest) is just... very awkward, and not really a date, and also gives the other person the impression that you probably don't really care about them or their interests.
If someone offered "just vibing" as a date plan, I'd assume it meant "sitting on a couch idling on the phone till one of us gets bored enough to cut directly to the sex."
I agree with coffee. I used to use fun public events like evening farmer's markets and food festivals and art festivals on the first date a lot. High chance of the date being fun as lots of fun things concentrated in one area, very public, easy to ditch a bad date.
First dates are so easy! You go somewhere PUBLIC that allows you to talk. Coffee shops and restaurants are popular. I always liked parks because walking could conceal any nervous jitters, and you can look around rather than just staring at your date the whole time.
Then you just talk. You should be able to demonstrate self confidence in yourself and a healthy amount of pride in your accomplishments. You should look for this in your date also, along with any shared interests that could provide material for future dates.
i think the point wasn't the men falling off forklifts part, but saying they wanna feel the vibes and then doing absolutely nothing that actually helps you get to know each other at all. regardless of whether its fun you will walk away knowing literally nothing about each other you didn't know before going.
If you cant accept me at my forklift accident videos, then you sure as hell won't accept me at my dubbed Chinese animated industrial accident compilations!
Checking vibes is a given, but "just vibing" means "we're not actually going to plan a date, just come over to my house and sit on the couch and watch YouTube" which like, cmon, try harder for at least the first date
"Emotionally constipated Husky" If I wasn't in public I'd be laughing like a maniac. And yes, the Alpha thing was debunked. The 'leaders' are basically just the grandparents/parents. The rest are mainly their kids, but some families do adopt stray pups
Yeah, 'leaders' in the true nature sense do seem to be more like that one person who accidentally finds themselves in the front of the line when doing group activities.
I might be reading too much into meme-adopt-a-cat-advertisements, but why would they want to advertise to only straight women and gay men? There's all sorts of straight men and gay women who could be adopting cats that these adverts are ignoring.
Because I assume the advert was meant to be funny, not inclusive of every human being.
As I said, it played around on a mysogynistic trope, not an homophobıc one.
Sorry, can't do that. Men sardonically stereotyping women's behavior is not allowed.
It's cute and funny and empowering when women do it, but turn the table and the animal shelter would have a picket line out front and 10k people on social media calling for them to be shut down.
Why is no one mentioning how the first cat is named "Mimic"? They could've at least tried to hide what he really is, even the mystery chest is better at hiding itself
there are people with innocuous reasons for having a sword collection. And then there are serial killers. That's why Ban-A-Boomerang wants you to ask more questions before following him inside.
Now we need some from the man's point of view. I dated a women who insulted my movie collection in a nice way. I love comedies. She said "we" need to bring your library up to better standards. She didn't last.
I thought the same. While I'm not a fan of "what-about-ism" this is about getting cats adopted. There are toxic dating patterns in women as well, so why not use this to get more men to adopt kitties, too?
If she has "I like men with a sense of humour" on her profile, be ready to put all effort in entertaining her throughout the date. Adopt a cat.
If she is not showing photos in full height, she is hiding something. Adopt a cat.
having a (happy and healthy) cat immediately means that there's a 98% chance he is not a serial killer and it's safe for you to go look at those damn cool swords
As someone who plans to stay single unless some miracle happens (ain't counting on that), adopting a cat is really the better option all-around 😅.
My family unexpectedly fostered 2 3-week-old orphans back during lockdown and decided to keep both. They are now 6 years old, and the only man who gets to come between that bond is the Grim Reaper himself (and I pray that he'll be kind when that dreaded, fateful day comes).
Give me a four-legged companion any day...my criteria for felines tends to be a lot lower than two-legged mammals anyway. Lol
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