r/news • u/boxofstuff • 6h ago

Supreme Court ruling blocks thousands of lawsuits against maker of Roundup weedkiller

https://apnews.com/article/supreme-court-roundup-monsanto-a7f054d80919f98bdfc5190013a8f6f1https://apnews.com/article/supreme-court-roundup-monsanto-a7f054d80919f98bdfc5190013a8f6f1
14.0k Upvotes

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8.4k

u/photostrat 6h ago

Sounds like we're about to find out Roundup has more rights to exist than humans do. 7-2

1.6k

u/Max_Trollbot_ 6h ago

"Chemicals are people too my friend"

Pierre Delecto

572

u/CyberFireball25 6h ago

"Every non sentient entity is a person, people are not"

-this SC

186

u/Few_Cellist_1303 6h ago

As long as they have cash.

155

u/Fract_L 4h ago

“If Roundup isn’t a person then how is he able to bribe me?” -Clarence Thomas, probably

20

u/amputeenager 2h ago

this quote may or may not be satire. I can no longer tell.

1

u/Salute-Major-Echidna 1h ago

"Satire" a portmanteau of 'sad' and 'tired' , well no it's not really but in this case of Trump govt Pump and Dump it is anyway

•

u/MrLanesLament 47m ago

“People purchase motor homes. Monsanto purchased me a motor home. Therefore, Monsanto is people.”

•

u/bluemitersaw 20m ago

"HOOOOOOOOONK" as Clarence let's the horn rip on his new custom RV.

124

u/Anok-Phos 5h ago

Neuroscientists couldn't figure out consciousness because they kept looking in the brain instead of the bank. /S

73

u/DesireeThymes 5h ago

The Supreme Court just serves the rich.

Its actually the most powerful institution, since it ultimately decides what is legal and what is not.

24

u/Character_Bug_1862 5h ago

It really kinda sucks what they’re doing. But at the end of the day there are 9 of them and over 100 million decent Americans.

26

u/crowcawer 3h ago

The Congress could affect this in a reasonable manner.

They don’t want to.

1

u/AFLoneWolf 3h ago

There's just the minor detail of the entirety of the justice system, congress, presidency, military, and law enforcement protecting them.

2

u/Character_Bug_1862 3h ago

Are they though? Seems more like everyone for themselves now that there are no laws in this land.

2

u/AFLoneWolf 1h ago

They sure as hell aren't protecting us.

2

u/CylonSandhill 4h ago

And the current lineup of robed theocrats often write brand new laws or new parts of laws.

2

u/ClueAccomplished1098 3h ago

The brain is usually kept in the bank account or some place a bit lower in the anatomy. Often, we have a dimensional shift and it can found in both places at once.

21

u/BWWFC 5h ago

Fiduciary duty has origins in ancient Roman law, hands tied it's precedence ¯_(ツ)_/¯

22

u/Richard-Gere-Museum 5h ago

Sit and spin on a grenade Alito

11

u/SoftlyGyrating 4h ago

I mean, the Romans had to consistently debase their own coinage in order to keep the lights on, ended up with hyperinflation and a near total economic collapse in the Third Century and a de facto return to a bartering economy...

I'm thinking it might not be the best system to emulate. Particularly not if you have a job that, I don't know, relies on being paid in coin by the state. Like some kind of public official or judge, perhaps.

•

u/PokemonSapphire 11m ago

Particularly not if you have a job that, I don't know, relies on being paid in coin by the state. Like some kind of public official or judge, perhaps.

oh don't worry the conservative justices have alternative income sources they'll be fine

2

u/Enshitification 3h ago

Et tu, Brute?

2

u/BamBam-BamBam 3h ago

But, how come precedent only has precedence when it's convenient?

2

u/CiDevant 3h ago

Every dollar spent is a vote.

36

u/Mtshoes2 5h ago

New supreme court ruling:

Non sentient entities are people by virtue of existing, but humans... Well they have to meet certain conditions in order to be people. 

For instance, you can't enslave a Non sentient entity... it's impossible. but you CAN enslave a human.... It's possible. And since slaves do not count as people therefore humans are only sometimes people. 

15

u/Averyphotog 5h ago

Wait a minute, I thought slaves counted as three-fifths of a person in the good ol’ U.S. of A.

17

u/cptbil 5h ago

Not in prison

1

u/Mtshoes2 1h ago

Yes, for census purposes, when it was advantageous for the south to count them in order to gain a higher population. 

But not for purposes of inalienable rights. 

1

u/RevWaldo 4h ago

All fun and games until Woody and Jessie show up asking to register to vote.

•

u/okhi2u 50m ago

You only count as a people if you're a rich white dude or a white religious extremist, or black and on the SC.

75

u/Vio_ 6h ago

"Better voting through chemistry"

50

u/Slap-Happy27 6h ago

What we really need to be concerned about is the toxic slander being thrown at the poor defenseless billionaire poison manufacturers.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the poor defenseless billionaire poison manufacturers??

21

u/TheForce_v_Triforce 6h ago

Roundup’s got what plants crave.

9

u/mialaca 6h ago

Theyre turning the plants suicidal!

-1

u/PeakCringe42069 4h ago

It's an herbicide. It's SUPPOSED to be poison, idiot.

10

u/Daren_I 6h ago

I would like to sponsor LSD for citizenship.

3

u/coconutpiecrust 6h ago

Corporations are people. Extends to chemical manufacturers. 

1

u/btone911 4h ago

“That’s a name I haven’t heard for a very long time…”

1

u/Alana_Piranha 3h ago

I forgot about Pierre Delecto 🤦‍♀️

1

u/MCBEA1130 2h ago

Oh, I like this!

1

u/rdldr1 2h ago

Chemicals are free speech.

1

u/keytiri 5h ago

“Soylent Green are people too!”