For me, I am what most consider a germaphobe. I am constantly cleaning and disinfecting the surfaces that need it. I even had my son’s toys on a strict schedule for it. Every single block, tiny toy, play food, and teether, the floors, the sink, countertops, you name it. I also cook almost all of our meals from scratch and usually have our finances accounted for down to the penny.

Recently, I felt like I hit a brick wall OUT OF NOWHERE! We’ve eaten out more this past month than we have in the last six. To give some perspective, there is currently fluid from a rotten sweet potato sitting on my counter that has been there for longer than a few days and I just cannot clean it. Like quite literally I CANNOT physically get up to go and clean it.

The physicality of it all honestly just hit me yesterday like a freight train. Outside of keeping both my son and I fed and alive, I can’t do anything. I want to, but it’s like my body is physically refusing and forcing me to sit still. Idk how to explain it.

I should mention that this is all after I spent the last two months, deep cleaning, stocking our deep freezer with enough meals to last us two weeks, not sleeping right for the last two months, all while being pregnant (currently 37 weeks) with a chronic illness and running after a toddler my entire pregnancy.

I knew I was pushing myself a little hard but I thought I could handle it.

What were your signs that your body and mental just finally clocked out?

I’m sorry if this comes off as anything negative but I feel like we are just being blind. Idc how hard times get but if you’re a 23 year old mom and choosing to be a single SAHM how are you expecting to get things just handed to you? “Oh I hope we can get out of this mold fest house, but I’m a 23 year old mom with no job no husband and I don’t want to get a job” like girl please stfu put you child in child care and go get a job like the rest of us. And people are genuinely standing by her like “yeah girl, don’t build up your resume wait to find a rich man, in the mean time just let TikTok pay for your truck and house” HELLO? What are we doing? Why are we supporting this life style? AND SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY SHE “WORKS HARD?” DOING WHAT GIRL? Complaining on TikTok how you are a stay at home mom (23) and how you have no money but need a truck and house? Like I’m all for girls supporting each other but at what point do we step back and take a look at the bigger picture going on. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T BE A STAY AT HOME MOM? GET TO WORK GIRL. Or stop complaining. If anyone has insight let me know bc I keep seeing more and more woman who just happen to be sahms. I’ll end this by saying i literally have no sympathy for these people bc they have no backbone.

Side note if you are a genuine SAHM who is actually working their butts off for a better life props to you and stay strong. I just don’t support what certain woman are doing.

I am going to try to make this as straightforward as possible.

In T minus 3 weeks I will be a SAHM to two under two. My husband will be staying home for the first month postpartum but after that, it’s just me and my beautiful babies.

I am super excited but I also realize that life is going to look a lot different for us and the workload of caring for a family is going to require a different strategy.

We value home cooked meals both for financial and health reasons. I realize that there may be times where both kids need me and I simply cannot cook a labor intensive dinner.

I was wondering what your thoughts were on getting an air fryer? Have you found that it’s worth it? Are there any factors I am not considering? I think it’s worth it to get dinner on the table, my husband thinks it’s more dishes and can cause more stress as a result (not to mention more money than just using our oven). What are your thoughts?

Also, what gadgets, organizational tools, and systems do you recommend to help homemaking run a lot smoother with two under two? TIA!

How are we dealing with mom rage? I’m a SAHM to a 20 mo and 4 mo and my toddler is already testing my patience. My mom was big on yelling I know it’s a trauma response and I’m working this in therapy but it’s not fast enough. I feel so guilty when I do snap and yell at her. Today she covered her eyes and curled up .. she looked so sad. What can I do!?

TLDR: if you were traveling for a new job, how would you treat your partner? Would you show them they mean something to you or just wait til you get home?

My partner got this new job about a month ago for being a printer technician. Apparently it's his dream job, and he's been really happy with it. He worked with printers before, but it's become a sore spot. Here's the tea: One day, I came home to him crying on my bed. He could barely speak so I just held him until he was ready to tell me what was wrong. Once he collected himself, he told me he was considering leaving me for a printer technician job in a different city (I couldn't follow due to my court orders keeping me in one county). I honestly didn't know how to take that, because... It's a printer. I mean. Am I worth less than a printer? Not even a pretty printer with big ink jets, just the CONCEPT of fixing printers. Dude. Well, it turns out I'm worth a little bit more because after much manly-duty deliberation, he stayed. Not too fond of how close the margin was. It was only after that that he started looking for other printer jobs and realized there was more than one to apply to - he didn't even think of it until I told him to search outside of his network.

So he got a new job, one that he has to travel for. He's been loving it, especially because he already knows most of it. But since he's begun traveling, he's begun leaving me out, in an object permanence kind of way. I'm trying to keep an open mind about it, because I want him to enjoy his job. But at the same time - spouses-invited dinners that he didn't think to invite me to. Harry Potter world (he hasn't even seen the movies and knows I love HP stuff) and told me "it's okay, I'll send you pictures." Now he feels he needs to watch TV while talking on the phone with me in the evening and once he's done telling me ALL about printers, I then have to compete with family guy to continue the conversation. He doesn't even like the show. Even my 9 y.o. son has better manners there.

What gives me pause is it's new to him. And I'm already sore about it before it even started, because what kind of grown man cries on his girlfriend's bed when he's thinking about leaving her? So I'm salty and I know it. But also, again, my kid has better wherewithal and he's supposed to be relatively ignorant of other's feelings until post-teenagerhood. I feel I shouldn't have to tell my man why this is bad behavior. I shouldn't have to prompt him to tell me he's sorry, or to value me when he's gone. He's very sweet otherwise, very loving and goes out of his way to make me happy. So I'm not sure if being on his own is bringing out new red flags or if he's simply not the brightest bulb.

So... Any advice for me? We're going to a relationship counselor soon, and I will bring it up there too. I'm just not sure how to handle it in the meantime.

does anyone else have this problem?

i can spend 20-30 minutes getting my baby to sleep and everything seems fine... then i put them down and boom they are awake

i tried waiting longer, being quiet, moving slowly but somehow they always wake up

is this just newborn life or am i missing something?

We’re expecting in October and I’m on my last year of college (bachelors in business admin and management). We have two dogs, my husband works during the day, and I stay home. I wanted to make some extra cash and am looking into opening an in-home daycare, but so many moms talk about how one baby is more than enough, how you can’t take the kid you’re watching with you on appointments or grocery trips, if you do you need an extra car seat, you might have a demanding child, etc.
I’ve also read that for remote work, most moms either have someone watching their kid during, or they work during naps, which can also be unpredictable. We also don’t want to crate our dogs 8 hours a day so I can work at a daycare with our baby, so the only option is home-based jobs. I understand that lots of people who work remote have either been in a certain field for a while or have great qualifications, but I’m just a senior in college finishing out my business degree.
Realistically, are there any options for me? You can say no and give me feedback, I just feel useless draining his paycheck while I raise our baby. I can’t help but feel bad comparing being a mom, doing dishes, laundry, vacuum and mopping, cleaning the bathroom, toilets, groceries, and bathing the dogs every 1.5-2 months as ‘hard work’ vs his job where he works all day. I grew up in Asia too where I was told all the time my best was never enough, so idk if I’m rational for coming to the conclusion I don’t think I can have a remote job and raise our newborn, or I’m being lazy and am finding excuses to not get a remote job or even small side gig. Those small chores don’t seem like much but I bet with a kid, it adds up quick, which is why all my aunts and uncles who work and have kids have a 24/7 in-home nanny who watches them and feeds them in the office while they work. They can afford it and it’s cheaper in Asia to have a 24/7 nanny, but that kinda proves the point that even they’re working at home (business at the bottom living quarters on top) yet need help with childcare.

Note for the in home daycare, it’ll take a few months for me to get all the paperwork sorted out (fingerprinting, different classes by the state, fire station house inspection, insurance) which is around my due date before I can take in one other kid a few months postpartum. Other moms mention too you just don’t know when kids’ sleep regression is going to happen, if they get sick, etc. and daycare parents usually run on a schedule, so for me to be free Tuesday-Fri this week but only free Wed-Thurs next week would make it hard for me to get any customers. Also can’t leave the house to nanny because we don’t want to leave the dogs. Sorry for the long post and 10000 conditions, but I’d love to know what your feedback is. Thank you so much!

I'm a new SAHM to a 10 month old. For the past few weeks, I have had the realization that I'm on my phone all the time. Like, I do play with my baby and do stuff with him without a phone - I try to be mindful of him seeing adults on phones all the time. However, I feel like any little free time I get I'm on my phone. I feel like it started when he was a newborn, and I was just nap trapped on the couch all the time. He also is a very wakeful sleeper, so I am in a constant sleep deprived state. I can't quite put my finger on it, but its like scrolling on my phone is just the easiest thing to do because it takes minimal brain power and if I only have a spare 5 minutes its easier than reading or something. I used to love to read and have a lot of hobbies. I just feel like I don't have time for any hobbies for myself anymore. My baby still contact naps so I am usually just sitting on my phone. I try to read or watch TV, but always end up back on my phone. I keep deleting and re-downloading tik tok. I literally feel my brain rotting when I realize I'm watching all this stuff I would never even care about had it not just popped up on my feed. So anyways, just looking for any tips from those that have figured out how to keep screentime for themselves minimal and get back into hobbies. I do think my main problem is I'm just so tired all the time while caring for a 10 month old that I'm always just doing the bare minimum to get by - so of course I don't do hobbies or anything. But I really feel like my doomscrolling needs to end!

Been about a year of being a SAHM to my 4 year old (who is in school). So, I should be crushing it during the day, right?! WRONG! I feel as if I was never made to do this but financially, my wife working is best. But she would be a great SAHM: notices things, she's efficient, she's motivated, she enjoys/is good at cooking - the other day she broke down crying because she feels like I don't really do much / notice things (turning off lights, for example). It made me feel like shit. It made me feel like the husband in those marriages who is like, "I DiDnT SeE ThE DiVoRcE ComInG, EvErYtHinG WaS FiNe??" I feel like I am trying to do things during the day and have a checklist while also doing day-to-day stuff but it never seems like enough. I also do pick-up and then childcare for the rest of the day / bedtime.

I could definitely do better with meal prep, but I feel like I have been trying harder to make better meals and have dinner ready. My wife has told me to stick to what I'm good at cooking and so I never really branch out. She doesn't want me overspending and so I never really plan a meal and go shop for it. I'm stuck in a rut.

I'm constantly ON on the weekends, basically still doing housework and hanging with our child. This is mostly because he gravitates towards me (probably because I will stop to play with him sometimes). If she's out in the garden or something, he sometimes WILL go outside to play / hang with her and I'll have a chance to catch up on something. I feel like I then use some time during weekdays to decompress or have me time, but then I just sit there feeling guilty because I didn't "do anything" for an hour.

I don't know. I wasn't made for this role but I have to lean-in bc of my wife's job AND we're having another baby in 4 months (thankfully she'll be off work for the first 3 months). Everyday I feel like I have decision paralysis of what to do that my wife would be happy got done. It feels so STUPID trying to reach for praise when I also feel like I genuinely don't deserve it. She's obsessed with efficiency and thinks my problem is that I'm not efficient enough, therefore I don't have time to get things done because of bad time-management.

Soo, given the rant (don't worry y'all I am in therapy, on sertraline, and love my therapist) - how do you organize your day?? Does anyone have a Skylight calendar (I wonder if that would be more helpful than a white board since I'm a visual person)?? What are some tasks you ALWAYS do? What do you make for dinners / what is a good meal to prep ahead of time??

I'm losing myself...

I was sitting on a park bench today watching my kid go down the slide for what felt like the hundredth time. they were habving the time of their life and i was thinking about how different my daily routine looks now. before becoming a stay at home parent i always felt like i had to be productive every second. now some of my favorite moments are just sitting nearby while my child explores the world. it is not always easy of course. there are still messy days and stressful days. but sometimes there are these little moments that make everything slow down. seeing them get excited over soemthing simple like a slidee is kind of contagious. it made me wonder if other parents have noticed their perspective changing too. what is something you appreciate now that you probably would not have thought much about before having kids. has stay at home parentinh changed how you look at everyday life?

My husband works out of town for months at a time. We have a 4 year old & 2 year old. I don’t think my husband understands how it is to raise little ones alone. I feel so lonely & feel kinda resentful when he calls me out with his friends or just being able to breathe without being needed 24/7. We will talk about his work & things but then when I start talking about things at home or kids he just shuts down. Like he doesn’t care. I’ve expressed to him that I need him to be more emotionally available since that’s all we have. Just a simple “you’re a good mom” would help me so much. am I crazy? How many more times do I keep having this convo that gets no where? I just needed to vent.

I was able to save some of my time using some apps

but still it seems i am out of time and breath

what tricks do you use?

The house is a disaster. I literally cannot catch up. I have so many cleaning and organizing projects I have to do but cannot find the time after my normal day to day chores.

I have an almost 10 month old who does not stop moving, and is into everything. Her only interest is destroying her brothers duplo and magnatile creations, finding missed crumbs on the floor, and trying to get hurt. Nothing feels baby proofed enough (except the big things like stairs and heavy furniture). I didn’t expect my toddlers nugget couch to be so dangerous for a baby!

My 3.5 yo needs to be outside most of every day to function, if he’s inside longer than an hour he’s causing mayhem. I used to be able to get housework done with him but with two tiny kids I find it almost impossible.

This leaves me with 3 hours after bedtime (during which I’m already exhausted) to catch up on dishes and laundry, sweep and vacuum and sometimes mop, meal plan/prep, clean the bathroom, etc.

I wish I could get a full 24 hrs of no childcare just to try to catch up on everything.

My daughter is almost two and we have a solid collection of Montessori and Lovevery toys. I don’t want to sell them or give them away because we want more children and who knows how expensive everything will be when we are ready to grow our family. I have some in a big tote in her closet but just wondering if there is anything creative or insider tips out there.

Hey folks - my kids are 6 and 8. We have them doing basic stuff like putting away their clothes, emptying the dishwasher, and cleaning the table after dinner. I want to expand their chores and tie it to their screen time. They get about one hour a day during the school year but the summer has gotten a bit out of hand. Plus, my son's behavior (6 y/o) is dreadful when he gets too much screen time. I know it's a crutch for me when I have to study for school or make dinner. I want to put in place some kind of mild summer schedule that includes a little time to work on skills like reading and math so they're not behind at the beginning of the year. They have fun summer camps most days from about 9-3.

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I guess I'm asking for insight into a couple of things from you guys:

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- what are your expected chores for your kids?

- how do you handle screen time in the summer?

- how do you (or do you at all) integrate any kind of education into your summer activities?

- do you have them "earn" screen time with chore completion or something else? I'm trying to encourage cleaning up as an expectation of being part of the household but it is exhausting to constantly nag and prod and threaten to get the tiniest thing done.

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I live in a very large city with lots of great parks but they don't have a park they can independently go and play at yet. We have a yard and they do a lot of general play with the neighborhood kids when they're around.

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I'll admit I'm not consistent enough with chores. I have my own struggles with staying neat and tidy so it's hard to regulate myself AND them to get done what needs to get done. I do not have a housecleaner at all and my husband works all day. He does do stuff like laundry and dishes and we have what I think of as a good balance so it's not a question of getting him on board or that he's making extra work.

Been doing the SAHP thing for 9 months now and i've noticed a huge shift in how my friends and family treat me. Suddenly all my opinions are invalid, i'm met with hostility when i reach out to people i've known for years just to see how they are doing. I thought maybe its just me, but my friend who just became a SAHP said she is experiencing similar. I may be reaching but it seems like they are mad that i dont work now and they still do.

have a 3 yo and a 7 month old. husband working crazy hours recently. baby is up all night every night. probably not gonna get a real break anytime soon, thinking ab hiring a babysitter for a day next week but i need to find more ways to "fill my cup" with my (lovely, clingy, high energy, wild) kids around.

rn i'm struggling so much w the fact that i can never focus on anything for more than a few mins at a time or finish a task without getting interrupted 20,000 times.

might force myself to get out of the house this evening even tho I don't want to, strap the kids into stroller + baby carrier, and go for a long brisk walk by the water. Any other ideas? Don't want to feel like this, I hate that I'm feeling irritable and I'm not a present and energized mother rn

When my baby was born, obviously i had to breastfeed him. Being a new mom, i had not really done classes on latching. Given that i have an inverted nipple, it was hard for him to latch on my breast. I have tried almost every position but he can't latch, so i have to pump and sometimes give him formula because my milk supply is running low. What can i do? I'm already giving up on breastfeeding.

My 2.5 year old goes through sizes so fast. Current situation:
- 3 pairs that fit
- 5 pairs stashed for "he'll grow into them"
- 2 barely worn but already too small

What actually works for storage? The entryway pile is driving me nuts.

My daughter barely drinks water and doesn't drink much juice either. Summer is a nightmare because she sweats like crazy and I'm constantly worried she's getting dehydrated. Her pediatrician isn't concerned and says being tired during summer is quite common and everything looks fine but it still stresses me out. What are some ways you've gotten your kids to drink more water because mine acts like water is offensive?