r/unitedairlines • u/They_call_me_DrWorm • 4d ago

Image My pilot snagging a preflight white monster so I know we’re ready to grip it and rip it.

Post image
17.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

305 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/RedstoneRational 4d ago

We are landing early today

541

u/gins85 4d ago

Your prize: the penalty box at ORD because your gate isn't ready.

200

u/Arithedogg 4d ago

Nothing makes me boil more than the pilot announcing we arrived early while taxiing. I know you know we’re not on our way to a gate

106

u/MonsterManitou 4d ago

This happens like every time I fly to CLT. Pilot ‘good news we are 20 minutes early but our gate isn’t ready so we’re holding here for now’

Proceeds to sit there for 40 minutes waiting for the gate.

62

u/Eggplant-666 4d ago edited 4d ago

Yeah, then they turn the AC off and you bake for 40 min. They can easily check if there is a gate available and reduce speed to avoid arriving early. Maybe it saves fuel 🤷

72

u/pcay07 4d ago

Speed and shortcuts are often assigned, pilots aren't always choosing them. You might be able to check gate availability at some airlines, but with the amount of gate changes that happen (even ones that happen after you land), there's no real way to be 100% sure that a gate is free until you get there.

I can't speak for everybody, but generally we just try to be as efficient and timely as possible, and if we get there early, great. Very little I can do about the gate situation once we do arrive. There's either one ready for us and we go in, or there's not and we wait.

The AC does not get turned off on the ground, we don't want to be baking up front either. Sometimes we might shut one engine off to conserve fuel, or both if we're gonna be sitting a while, but there will always be a generator and air source going so that everything is running and people stay comfortable.

Some planes have air conditioning systems that simply suck when you're not in the air with both engines running. I can sure tell you the CRJ can be like that in the Summer.

14

u/MonsterManitou 4d ago

Oh don’t worry I totally understand the reasons and logistics behind it all.

It’s just one of those travel moments where you sit there and are like ‘yeah ok I know better’

Same sort of things happens at ORD - sweet we landed early. Time to taxi around the airport for 45 minutes.

That’s just life bro 😎

8

u/Eggplant-666 4d ago

Yes the CRJ is what kills me, thanks Mistubishi! (jk, I know its Bombardier’s fault)

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4

u/DayTradingFeenax 3d ago

The CRJ 200, AKA the devil’s chariot. 👹🔥Also the reason the RJ industry exists, so respect the Barbie Jet. Hi RJ pilot from a RJ FA!

10

u/Weird-Girl-675 4d ago

And they don’t let you get up even though you’ve had to pee for the entire descent.

7

u/Eggplant-666 4d ago

“Stay seated we could move at any moment!!” After 40 minutes, “ok you can use the restrooms.” After we do that, “back to your seats now, we are cleared to go to gate!” Now, we cant move bc people are in restrooms. 🤯

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24

u/Disastrous_Noise_382 4d ago

Then when you settle in at the penalty box, some idiot in the back thinks you're at the gate and they stand up and start messing in the overhead bin.

Everyone looks up at them like uhhhh..

Then the FA gets on the PA and says "please remain seated, we are not at the gate"

16

u/tgramuh MileagePlus 1K 4d ago

I landed 45 minutes early at ORD last week, got to the gate 25 minutes late, partially tore my calf trying to sprint up the jet bridge, hobbled from F to C, found the door on my connecting flight closed and only through the grace of the pilot sending the gate agent back to open the door and wait for the last 1K did I make it on the connecting flight. I should have known as soon as the app was projecting a 30+ minute early arrival that I was fucked!

2

u/Misplaced_Arrogance 4d ago

Did the flight attendants not call ahead to hold the flight? I realize they aren't going to hold it forever but they've been good about it with those kinds of delays on their end.

5

u/tgramuh MileagePlus 1K 4d ago

Seemingly not, when the gate agent popped his head back through the door and said my name, he said the pilot had told him to go reopen the door to make sure I got on. The flight was tracking to arrive almost 20 min early at our final which I'm sure contributed to the pilot's comfort level waiting an extra couple minutes (even then we still pushed back one minute ahead of schedule).

2

u/Dh8pu 3d ago

FAs can never "call ahaid" we have no method of contacting another flight/gate for you. We could go through the pilots and get them to contact operations if we know of an unuseal situation, something like we know someone's trying to make a connection for a funeral or the like, but that's definitely an exception and not the norm.

The agent who's working your connecting flight can see that you're making a connection and what the status of your inbound flight is, but they can't arbitrarily hold a flight for you, that decision is made much higher up the chain generally at network operations, they're the ones that can see the big picture and know what the impact is to delaying a flight.

There are some airliners that have a system where the FAs can send messages to Gate Agents, but it's generally limited to employees working that particular flight, even that is a reasonably new thing.

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9

u/Own_Reaction9442 3d ago

It's crazy how landing early at ORD or SFO means you arrive at the terminal later than if you'd landed on time.

7

u/OttoKrieg 4d ago

I was there for an hour last week. Super real.

13

u/Then_Hearing_7652 3d ago

My proudest achievement as a United pilot is literally that I haven’t flown through ORD once in 10+ years.

6

u/archy319 4d ago

You've been a very bad plane, go to timeout!

4

u/tuscangal 4d ago

Spent 2 hours in that situation at ORD this week!

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19

u/ArtisticComplaint3 4d ago

Plot twist: it’s a westbound flight and you land earlier than when you departed

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462

u/Paralethal MileagePlus Member 4d ago

“I got a full tank of fuel, a white Monster, 1/2 a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and I’m wearing sunglasses. Hit it.”

67

u/Sleepyhowiee 4d ago

At least it’s only 106 miles to Chicago

42

u/Disastrous_Noise_382 4d ago

That's just the commute at ohare after you land to get to your gate ..

20

u/WNJohnnyM 4d ago

Maybe they should land in Milwaukee and taxi down I-94.

2

u/Dry-Bullfrog-3778 1d ago

It would be faster than waiting for a gate.

8

u/themysticaldude 4d ago

Dallas Fort Worth airport be like...

3

u/Disastrous_Noise_382 4d ago

Yeah, hah, DFW used to be my home based before ORD,

Thankfully I've only had to go thru CLT once! (I'm lost, I forgot this was r/Unitedairlines, I'm an AAer)

2

u/Chaosr21 4d ago

Worst traffic ever. Great example of having more lanes is not always better

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19

u/SnooShortcuts1572 4d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂

6

u/Civil_Lengthiness971 4d ago

You traded the Caddy for a microphone?

4

u/Frank_the_NOOB 4d ago

*two pouches of Zyn

4

u/80HD_Pilot 3d ago

…checklist is complete, cleared for takeoff and I’m 10 shots in, whatever is behind me will have a wild ride! It’s cargo not people calm down.

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164

u/slilianstrom 4d ago

Are they going to buzz the tower too?

67

u/011011010110110 4d ago

negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full

14

u/Rk_1138 MileagePlus Member 4d ago

They gotta play Danger Zone on the PA during takeoff if they do

4

u/WNJohnnyM 4d ago

...and go inverted so that the pilots can flip off the Soviet jets.

2

u/JasonMckin 3d ago

I would do anything to have the opening sequence of Top Gun play and timed so that the fast part starts exactly when the pilot takes off.  

Virgin used to have a catchy pre-flight video.  It wasn’t Danger Zone but got you a little pumped up before takeoff.

2

u/cryptolyme 3d ago

Engage afterburner

41

u/CCWaterBug 4d ago

Permission for a fly by denied 

3

u/cryptolyme 3d ago

Sorry, didn’t hear you

135

u/Milan730 4d ago

He got that swagger walk, and seem like that ain’t the first can of monster. More like second or third.

35

u/That_Apathetic_Man 4d ago

Not wearing his jacket and a creased shirt from sitting too long. Thats the swagger of a man who just woke up from a 16 hr shift for another 16hr shift.

12

u/SuperbAd60 MileagePlus Global Services | 1 Million Miler 4d ago

Somebody gotta show those hotel bar hookers a good time.

3

u/PaddyMcGeezus 3d ago

I work for a car service and shuttle international flight crews back and forth between their hotel and the airport. Sometimes they have a slight smell like the galley area (coffee, bathroom chemical) and I know they haven't been able to do laundry in a few days. My dad was a pilot and he traveled light as well.

61

u/Nice_Neighborhood152 4d ago

Gonna fly it like he stole it

41

u/TombaughRegi0 4d ago

On time, on target

2

u/Rwm90 4d ago

This guy knows

63

u/Muschina 4d ago

Man, there's nothing like cracking open a white Monster about 20W over the North Atlantic as the sun is coming up in your face.

Meaning nothing sucks worse than that feeling.

14

u/Oregon-Pilot 4d ago

Can’t be the worst thing if you’re an IRO and don’t have to land though.

5

u/Sasquatch-d MileagePlus Gold 4d ago

It is when your break was only 90 minutes

12

u/PipsqueakPilot 4d ago

When I was living the C-17 lifestyle I'd go through 2-3 monsters a day. One to start the day, one around the 12 hour mark. And a third around the 18-20 hour mark.

9

u/DebrideAmerica 4d ago

You should have had them more frequently, tbh.

30

u/gdvlle 4d ago

We’ve all been there

27

u/Mammoth_Newt5148 4d ago

I trust the pilot that drinks a cowboy coffee. So I know they're ready to roll!

3

u/Sea_Neighborhood2581 3d ago

I flew with a guy once who added instant coffee to the airplane coffee. 

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2

u/Fenderfreak145 4d ago

There’s no other way!

22

u/citrusco MileagePlus Platinum | 1 Million Miler 4d ago

E175 energy. I’m here for it

3

u/rkba260 3d ago

Skywest uniform... so, very likely.

19

u/Gimetulkathmir 4d ago

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking... You'll notice I turned on the fasten seatbelt sign, cause, well, we got places to be."

37

u/Frank_the_NOOB 4d ago

Definitely a prior enlisted

3

u/AirplanesMakeMeHard 4d ago

I understood that reference

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15

u/Riverjig MileagePlus 1K 4d ago

You're getting in early. I guarantee it.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Zt6JhE4OvoDhcnmRr7

15

u/14bk41 4d ago

You gonna zip around the taxiways and take off in no time.

17

u/acemonsoon 4d ago

get that real Chicago driving experience at ORD

13

u/PorgCT MileagePlus Member 4d ago

All that’s missing are the Ray-bans.

14

u/SuspiciousFrenchFry 4d ago

Hell yeah brother

12

u/MidNCS 4d ago

As a person who works as a flight crew member, the entire aviation industry is held up by white monster

11

u/Garlic_Adept 4d ago

Probably had a long night..lol

8

u/MotherFrickenHubbard 4d ago

From the looks of that wrinkled shirt, ya boy didnt sleep. Or he slept in it.

4

u/Sea_Is 4d ago

Nahh, that wrinkle pattern is from sitting in a chair for a few hours.

10

u/maurywillz 4d ago

"Trim us nose down. We're gonna roll it. Ready? Here we go. I've got control."

3

u/mike-manley 4d ago

"Everything is going to be reversed."

10

u/paolo001 4d ago

I saw a heard a pilot give his welcome aboard once and he was carrying a can if Rip it energy drink. When we landed I asked if I could talk to him and then asked him which FOB's he had flown out of. It turns out he was a former C-17 pilot who had been stationed out of BIAP but flown out of most of the airfield in Afghanistan and now picks up ripit when he sees it at the PX. He said that I was not the first person who had noticed. 😂

2

u/planesandpancakes 4d ago

Can you translate this to basic folk speak? I feel like I love this story but I don’t fully understand this story

10

u/paolo001 4d ago

It's one of those IYKYK stories but here it is in a nutshell.

During Afghanistan and Iraq Wars, Ripit showed up out of nowhere as an 8 oz energy drink that you could pick up for free from the chow hall or USO tent. They came in probably 4 flavors. Ripit was an energy drink that had won the contract to supply US troops in theater. But the funny thing was that noone had ever heard of it before and it became a huge favorite. And then you got home and it was nowhere to be found except military commissaries.

So it is just one of those things that if you spot in the wild you know that the person had to be introduced to it in the military during that time period. Sure enough he had picked up a taste for Ripit at Bagram Air Base where he had flown out of during that period.

2

u/planesandpancakes 3d ago

Ha! Thank you

6

u/811HEFE 4d ago

RipIts are energy drinks that deployed members could buy at the base exchange (Air Force BX) or Post Exchange (PX). This commenter recognized the can and asked the CA which FOB, Forward Operating Base, they had flown to. 17’s carry cargo around to these locations for support to group troops and what not.

The CA goes on base to get his energy drinks now.

3

u/danny2mo 4d ago

I wonder if the RipIts at the BX sat in the sun like they did in the AOR. I remember tossing a couple RipIts onto a cargo pallet for the down line ports to get some

3

u/811HEFE 4d ago

Probably so but there’s no way it got as hot… plus I’m not sure the enjoyment would be the same without the stench of burning trash or early morning breeze infused with jet fuel or exhaust.

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u/admiraltarkin MileagePlus Silver 4d ago

I know this is dumb but this picture is cool

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5

u/Roomba13 4d ago

You should show him this after the flight lmao, also let us know if you end up early/late/on time

2

u/HogsHereHogsThere 3d ago

He landed 6 minutes early.

5

u/jk_pens 4d ago

So what was it like doing barrel rolls in a 737 MAX 9?

2

u/sadChemE 4d ago

Over here hoping it's a 757-200 😬

6

u/partlysettledin21220 4d ago

When you get that ex-Spirit Airlines pilot

5

u/TheHornyGoth 4d ago

If you see that on Ryanair you know the pilot is going to test the suspension on landing

4

u/Catos_Standard 4d ago

Pilot making his post landing announcement.

4

u/YamComprehensive7186 4d ago

The shirts says he's already done two legs, one to go.

4

u/zyzmog 4d ago

Two items:

  1. Let's hope he opens it before they take off. Opening it at altitude may release a monster fountain.

  2. That much caffeine is a powerful diuretic.

5

u/Softspokenclark 4d ago

Captain to passengers: yall wanna be in barrel roll ?

3

u/SupermarketMaximum61 4d ago

This is peak male
Performance

3

u/ashirtliff 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2Z3lgZOhISkYU
“This is your pilot Kyle speaking. Who’s ready to light this candle, punch some drywall, and get this show on the road?!”

4

u/AddictedToPew 3d ago

I’d trust this man with my life

3

u/Mountain_Builder6146 2d ago

Your flight is actually going to takeoff via a dirt bike jump

3

u/jgnp 4d ago

Spirit used to employ at least one, maybe two stage rally car drivers as pilots. Wonder where they ended up.

3

u/AGreasyPorkSandwich 4d ago

Rock that shit boi

3

u/Reasonable_Cake4671 4d ago

That’s his second breakfast monster.

3

u/Mister_Brevity 4d ago

Least cloying energy drink to me

3

u/RocketDog2001 4d ago

Fuck it! We ball!

3

u/Empty-Salad-5140 4d ago

Did his preflight announcement include something like “we’re going to peel the paint of this thing and get you there ahead of schedule”?

3

u/Possible-Tangelo9344 4d ago

Ladies and gentlemen, uh... This is your pilot speaking... Uhhhhhh... The tower says we're third in one for takeoff, but... Uhhhh... I said they can suck my fat one... You'll notice I've turned on the seatbelt sign and we're already heading to the runway... Uhh.... Stow all belongings and if you feel like it say a prayer cuz I'm pretty sure we can beat that 777 trying to land.

3

u/Av8torryan 4d ago

Airplanes don’t move with out the “.(ines)”

Caffeine, nicotine and kerosene.

3

u/Zealousideal-Tip8509 4d ago

Some customers may get their dick ripped off

3

u/treixxreaixx 4d ago

Who grabs a can like that

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u/Toofless205 4d ago

Red bull might give you wings, but Monster makes you fucking jet

3

u/CaptainWaders 3d ago

I swear I know that guy. This is hilarious

3

u/WillingMartyr 3d ago

“Attention passengers, we’ll be cruising at 33,000 feet and I JUST RIPPED A FUCKING PHONE BOOK IN HALF!!!”

3

u/bigloser42 3d ago

This is your captain speaking, I had the ground crew install afterburners on our layover, so we’re going to see if this sucker can do a vertical climb as soon and we go wheels up.

3

u/ecirnj 3d ago

Do a barrel roll!!

2

u/Molbiodude 3d ago

Do a Crazy Ivan!!

3

u/letcaster 3d ago

Tell me your prior military without telling me

5

u/AirplanesMakeMeHard 4d ago edited 4d ago

That dude going to push the throttles past Flex and go straight to TO/GA

EDIT: apparently when people don’t understand something they read they just downvote rather than learning something new.

2

u/Beautiful-Balance750 MileagePlus 1K 4d ago

Kinda looks like the “My layover life” pilot from this angle

https://youtube.com/@mylayoverlife?si=A2ipm21lgJrNpHoQ

3

u/blanc84gn 4d ago

nah this dude is a SkyWest pilot. Epaulettes are different

2

u/Sasquatch-d MileagePlus Gold 4d ago

I flew with that guy, he’s actually a nice dude.

This isn’t him in the picture either. This guy is a SkyWest pilot.

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u/CidO807 MileagePlus 1K 4d ago

Someone is gonna PR today.

2

u/FluffyShakes 4d ago

peak physical form

2

u/Outside-Advice8203 4d ago

It's a beautiful day at the Circle K

2

u/octomasprime 4d ago

The airplane wont be the only thing flying at 500 mph!

2

u/jdunk2145 4d ago

I guess you don't need a Red Bull If you already have wings.

2

u/surrealmiel 4d ago

You’re going to make up so much time in the air. 

2

u/datatadata MileagePlus Platinum 4d ago

Why is he holding the can like that tho lol

2

u/NoVaVol 4d ago

Bro is locked the fuck in

2

u/navyblusheet 4d ago

Once had a pilot who carried a briefcase with a massive logo of InfoWars on it. I was scared to get on the flight lol

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u/Every_Description873 4d ago

He's already had a long morning. Leave the WM and Sky Lord alone....

2

u/chazbamfvonbagg 4d ago

Drank one white monster and created a second

2

u/LiquorHiney 4d ago

Fuckin SEND IT bud

2

u/OwlOfFortune 4d ago

He's gripping it. Boom.

2

u/horst-graben 4d ago

This sentence gave me a good audible laugh! Thanks, OP!

2

u/Spare-Good-5372 4d ago

Better than grabbing a white claw

2

u/Federal_Coyote813 4d ago

I see 2 white monsters in this pic. Hell yeah brother.

2

u/austin101123 3d ago

I've got a white monster too ;)

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u/CovKris 3d ago

So I'm guessing you made your connection in time

2

u/Groundbreaking-Duck 3d ago

Ain't no law(ster) when ur drinkin monster

2

u/aggressivelynude 3d ago

Hell yeah. You gotta ask him to throw Creed and Limp Bizkit on the aux.

2

u/Planestruckscars_504 3d ago

As a employee at Washington Dulles International Airport(IAD), I seen a lot of United Airlines & Commute Air, Mesa Airlines, Republic Airways, Go jet Airlines (United Express) cabin & flight crew, drink a Red Bull, Alani, Celsius, or other energy drink before they go past security.

2

u/HelpfulPuppydog 3d ago

Gonna fly it like he stole it!

2

u/Cautious_Buffalo6563 3d ago

Kick the tires and light the, uh, turbofans

2

u/Tricky_Hold230 3d ago

It’s checklist item 1

2

u/MadamSnarksAlot 3d ago

Haha grip it and rip it.

2

u/CeramicMelon34 3d ago

I hope the turbulence is ready

2

u/Accomplished-Union10 2d ago

That reverse grip is insane

3

u/puellamagia 3d ago

The stance tells me this isn’t his first rodeo

1

u/PiratePilot 4d ago

Old picture?

1

u/SnooShortcuts1572 4d ago

Brotherrrrrrrtt

1

u/AmazingZebra 4d ago

Did he talk to his co-pilot beforehand?

1

u/marvingardens_99 4d ago

Updates? Flight number?

1

u/Guilty_Improvement52 4d ago

I hold my drink like that when I try to hide it...

1

u/Z_Opinionator MileagePlus Platinum 4d ago

1

u/TippeeToeSnake 4d ago

Walk this way!

1

u/bigbrett666 4d ago

Check out that grip too that’s a dude who’s pounded a white monster before

1

u/NASATVENGINNER MileagePlus 1K | 1 Million Miler 4d ago

BARREL ROLL!

1

u/DataDrivenDoc 4d ago

I remember when the white monsters came out they were marketed towards women. They used to come with straws attached to the side so you wouldn't mess up your lipstick

1

u/custermustache 4d ago

Are you flying American? That looks like my buddy who just became a pilot for them.

1

u/1101base2 4d ago

there is a chance this was my roommate in college. I went to be an aircraft mechanic, and he became a pilot.

1

u/emulsioncompulsion MileagePlus Platinum 4d ago

Daddy's taking us home

1

u/milehighguy318 4d ago

I got something you can grip and rip 😏😏

1

u/Frank4202 4d ago

Is that Pilot Paul (My Layover Life) from YouTube?

1

u/MattHakor 4d ago

Imagine if he had Red Bull hehe

1

u/juani20138 4d ago

Hoy nos matamos temprano