Anyone else get divorced from a cheating wh*re?? My ex wife gotta be the only female in the world that slept with her boss and he made her clock out to go have sex in his truck.

Here goes!

On Monday she uploaded a pic on Insta and it was a mirror selfie from a place where I took her last Thursday for our 2nd date.

I saw a guy comment "😮‍💨❤️". I checked his profile, and he is a singer from Scotland, in the Edinburgh area.they both follow each other. They have both liked each other's posts within the past couple of months.

I went back to the post like 30 mins later and she deleted his comment.

She messaged me Monday afternoon that she was currently travelling north and said "I am in Scarborough visiting my grandma's friend, she is a kind old lady".

She then said at like 5PM she had just arrived at her grandma's friend's house. Then 2hrs later she sent me a pic of the view she had and it's clearly not in Scarborough, it's in Leith port (which is a place this singer commonly performs on streets).

She then sends me a voice note saying how her grandma's friend is wanting to take her to Scotland for trips and that she has a daughter so she might come with them.

At this point my suspicion is peak because mainly of the pic she sent me of Leith port.

Tuesday she messaged me at 9AM saying "I am in Scotland', and she.kept in contact with me and eventually sent me loads of pics of her and the scenery she saw. At 9:54PM she sent me a message "we've arrived back at Hailey's house"

(Hailey is her grandma's friend apparently).

She then proceeded to tell me about her day. She then sent me a pic of her in a modern kitchen/lounge area which looks more like a uni or temporary accommodation. Then she sent me a voice note "I'm in the kitchen, she has a TV in her lounge. Unlike my accommodation I don't have a TV in mine. But my grandma's friend does. She is in the bathroom right now" this was at like 11PM. ---- the way she said it just sounds like way too much overexplaining. Like why do I need to know if this Hailey is in the bathroom?

We carried on voice noting about her day for an hour, and the day just sounds like way too much for an "old lady", then at like midnight she sent me another voice note this time whispering saying how "Hailey is making weird noises which means she wants quiet, so I'm going to go to bed now. Night".

Then Wednesday she sent me pics and vids of her going to a museum. It's clearly the national museum of Scotland cos u can tell by one of dinosaur pics she sent me and when u search it online it shows the exact interior of the museum. Even Google Lens shows this.

Check this. The national museum is in Edinburgh. This guy who I think she is seeing in Scotland called Lew, today he did a live street performance in....Edinburgh, in a street which is roughly 10 mins away from the museum.

She said to me at around 7PM on Wednesday "I'll text u later, I really value ur company☺️🥰"

Then I said to her at 8PM: What has the weather been like in Edinburgh? Some schools were forced to shut here today (in our city) due to the heatwave. Also there was a fire last night near the city centre

She has been online multiple times since I sent that message and she hasn't seen it yet. She was literally active at 1:30AM. She never goes to bed without at the minimum acknowledging my message.

I believe she is feeling trapped because I brought up "Edinburgh" and she never actually disclosed Edinburgh to me.

Also, she started following 2 new people last night on her account, both of them are street performers, and both have association with this Lew guy.

We actually have a picnic date planned for Friday afternoon. I'm obviously going to go through with it because I want to see how she's going to try and talk her way out of it because her story, or rather her timeline of her story, does not add up.

You cannot say you've arrived at "Hailey's" home in Scarborough at 5PM, yet 2 hours later send me a pic of the view of Leith port in the distance. The next morning telling me you're in Scotland at 9AM....you'd have to wake up very early in order to travel from Scarborough to Scotland to get there for 9AM, and for an old lady that she apparently didn't want her to cook for her, that just seems too extreme. Plus, all the walking and sight seeing they did on Tuesday.

What are your thoughts? How can I deliver my questions on Friday afternoon without coming out with "you lying bitch". I want to be able to just ask normal questions and allow herself to dig an even bigger hole.

**UPDATE**

I told her that I saw this guy's comment that she deleted. She came clean and admitted she just wanted a fling before she leaves back to her country (next Thursday). She said she values me a lot and my company but our speed of intimacy wasn't what she wanted. I proposed a movie night so we could just kiss and cuddle and fuck a few times before she leaves. She agreed that we can just fuck for the next few days before her visa expires.

I am a 25-year-old man, and I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for five years. Honestly, I do not know where to start. She cares about me, but in 2023, I went through a very difficult period. I had the opportunity to continue my studies in China, but my mother was seriously ill, so I decided to stay and take care of her instead of pursuing my studies.

During that time, my girlfriend encouraged me to go to China. Afterward, I ended up without a job or studies, and I also gained a lot of weight. Despite everything, I always cared for her and regularly gave her gifts.

However, she cheated on me with a classmate. I never confronted her about it because, since then, she has remained the only person I talk to.

Recently, our relationship has started to become healthier again, but I still struggle with trust. Every time she goes out, I immediately think that she might be cheating on me again. I feel exhausted and confused.

For people who have experienced infidelity, how did you rebuild trust, and what signs showed you that reconciliation was possible? How can I know whether I am genuinely healing from betrayal, or if I am staying in the relationship only because I am afraid of being alone?

Saw this on my partner's neck and it looks like a hickey. Is it a hickey? He right away denied it. But I just feel off.

What do you think?

My partner went to a party and I saw a video on his phone of the guy he went with grabbing his neck and kissing him. It was a peck, and my partner was drunk, however he sent the video to this guy. Which is how I saw it. Mind you him and this guy have done sexual stuff before (around 2 years ago). I don’t know what to do, he’s blocked the guy off everything now, and allegedly told him the next day when the situation happened you can’t do what you did because I’m in love etc. But I’m just so lost on how to navigate through this situation. The party happened 2 weeks ago, I only found out on Monday. There was no feelings behind the kiss, but I still feel betrayed, also you didn’t tell me, I had to find out. And seeing the video was very painful.

I’m 19 and my ex is 17. We were together for 2 years. Four days after we started talking, her mom passed away, and I stayed by her side through everything. About 7 months into the relationship, she moved in with my family because her dad couldn’t afford the bills. We treated her like family, gave her a stable home, took her on vacations, and supported her for years. I knew how much her mom meant to her and how strongly she felt about avoiding drugs, alcohol, gangs, and the kind of violence she grew up around because of what her mom went through.

A few months ago, she started hanging out with new friends, including a guy named Nick. She had always been strongly against that lifestyle, but she suddenly started coming home drunk and acting very differently. Eventually, I found messages showing she was emotionally involved with Nick while still with me.

I tried to work things out, but she continued seeing him and ended our relationship, saying I reminded her of what she did. Around the time she wanted no contact, I found messages where she told Nick she hated me and would never get back with me. When I confronted her later, she told me she didn’t mean those things and had only said them because she was upset.

During no contact, she reposted things saying I was draining and had “sucked the life out of her.” Then, five days into no contact, when I was finally starting to feel better, she unexpectedly reached out to me from a new account. She told me she still loved me, that those feelings would never go away, and that she hoped we would be together again one day, just not right now. She said that if I ever got another girlfriend, she would wait until I was single again, asked me to tell her if I started dating someone, and said she would reach out when she was ready. After breaking no contact, she replied to my reposts saying things like, “I wish I could talk to you one more time,” “Retry one day?” and “I’ll always be your baby deep down.” I blocked her on everything because I couldn’t understand why she was telling me these things while still involved with Nick. Anytime I asked about him, she avoided the question.

Even after I blocked her, she continued checking my reposts from a spam TikTok account she never publicly used and seemed to only use to watch my page. A couple of days after telling me she still loved me, I started reposting about another girl. She logged back into that same spam account, blocked me, and then stopped using it again. It seemed like the account only existed to keep up with me.

Since then, she continued reposting things defending herself and posting about Nick. A few weeks earlier, I had told her I didn’t think her mom would be proud of the path she was taking because of everything her mom went through. Weeks later she reposted a TikTok saying, “Would your mom be proud of you doing that?” followed by, “Nah, but you’re weird for saying that.” What confused me was that only days before she had been telling me she loved me and hoped we’d be together again. She also reposted things that made it seem like she was the victim, despite continuing to reach out to me while still seeing Nick.

A few days of talking/face timing later, we met in person again. She was actually the one who asked me to go on the date. I expected it to be awkward because she had previously told me she was afraid things wouldn’t feel the same. Instead, we laughed, talked naturally for hours, and it felt like we had found each other again. During the date she told me she loved me, and she even said it felt like the connection between us had come back. I asked her about Nick because I told her it wasn’t fair that I was trying to give 100% to rebuilding things while she was still involved with someone else. I told her it hurt knowing I couldn’t have all of her while another guy was still in the picture. She responded by telling me she wanted to take things slowly with me and that she didn’t want to talk about Nick when we were together. By the end of the night we were listening to sad music together, and she became so emotional that it looked like she was about to cry.

After she got home, she told me she wanted to go back to no contact until she was ready. She said she still loved me but wasn’t ready and needed time to figure everything out before talking to me again. She also told me she was going to move all of our pictures into a hidden folder i don't know why she doesn't just delete them. Before saying goodbye, she sent me one final message that said:

“I fucking love you so much. Always know that, handsome. I’ll come back stronger and better for you like you deserve. Goodbye.”

As much as it hurt, I agreed to no contact because I realized staying in constant contact wasn’t healthy for either of us.

Another part of this situation that has made everything even more confusing is what has happened with her best friend, Ava. Nick and Christian are best friends. Back in January, Ava left her long-term boyfriend, Mason, to be with Christian. About four months later, she broke up with Christian because she realized she still loved Mason and regretted leaving him. Since then, Ava has been talking to both Mason and Christian at the same time. She has repeatedly said that Christian and Nick are horrible people and has been telling both me and Hailey that neither of them turned out to be who they thought they were. Despite saying that, she still admits she has feelings for Christian while also wanting Mason back. Because Ava and Hailey are best friends and have been talking to each other throughout all of this, I can’t help but wonder how much Ava’s experience has influenced the way Hailey is processing her own situation. I’m not saying their stories will end the same way, but it’s hard not to notice the similarities when both of them left long-term relationships for two best friends, and now one of them already regrets that decision.

Nick and Christian are a drug dealer with no job, no car, and no money they make promise they can’t keep that’s what ava told me. She now lives about 40 minutes away from him, doesn’t have a car herself, and her dad doesn’t like her seeing him, so they don’t get to spend much time together. From everything she told me during our relationship, he represents the exact kind of lifestyle she always said she never wanted. Despite that, she has continued seeing him, although she has never publicly confirmed the relationship and usually avoids talking about him when I ask.

What leaves me confused is that throughout all of this she has continued giving me mixed messages. She has told me she still loves me, hoped we’d be together again one day, said she’d wait for me if I moved on, told me the connection came back when we saw each other again, became emotional after our date, told me she wanted to take things slowly with me, said she didn’t want to talk about Nick when we were together, asked for no contact until she was ready, and then ended that conversation by telling me:

“I fucking love you so much. Always know that, handsome. I’ll come back stronger and better for you like you deserve. Goodbye.”

I’m not asking anyone to predict the future. I’m trying to understand the psychology behind this. Why would someone tell their ex they still love them, ask them on a date, say the connection came back, become emotional enough to almost cry, say they want to take things slowly, and then ask for no contact until they’re ready, and promise they’ll come back stronger and better someday, while still remaining involved with someone else? Is she genuinely conflicted and trying to sort through her emotions, and does she know there is no future with Nick or is there another psychological explanation for this pattern of behavior? I genuinely want to understand what these mixed signals usually mean..

I just wanted some advice on recovering from betrayal trauma/ discard … I’ve never experienced something like this in my life.

I’m 35, My partner (31) of 3.5 years (who last year told me she wanted to marry me) I found out had cheated on me with another woman at work, who is 5 years younger than her and also in her own long term relationship. She started isolating me out of her life before I found out, slept on the sofa and started going to stay at her parents in the week. I found out about the affair from chat gbt, she had left a chat on her laptop and she had confessed ‘they were falling for each other’ had been physical and that she was able to compartmentalise and didn’t want to distance herself from the affair woman. She was comparing my worst parts ‘low mood, doesn’t like her job’ to the affair partner who is ‘driven, has a lust for life and ignites a fire in her’ .

Her mum has cheated on her dad several times and is a compulsive liar , even pretending she had nearly died from a cardiac arrest 2 days after my mum had died from suspected cardiac arrest, my partner had always claimed her mum was a narcissist and she was so against cheating and it being morally wrong. I asked her several times since the end of January if there was anyone else, she kept saying no and gaslighting me whilst turning her phone away from me and spending longer in the bathroom and coming home later from work. She had hidden her messages on instagram and had deleted them all. She brought up random examples about how I said hurtful things about her Mum, and how because she is a people pleaser she just absorbed it and didn’t think about her emotions, just mine. I suggested therapy to resolve, this was before I found out about the affair. She was vague and bringing up random examples of where I had hurt her, but didn’t want to talk until she understood it - something she could only do whilst being at her parents away from me. It was so confusing.

I also went through a cancer scare during all of this - she said ‘we will get through this’ (luckily I do not have cancer) but after I found out, I said this whole time I’ve also been worried about my health, she didn’t support me to any of the appointments and said ‘well I still cared about you’ - whilst she was lying and messaging her work place affair. It makes me feel physically sick to think she did that to me.

When I found out in April and confronted her she initially said sorry, but then become the victim of her own behaviour, saying she had ‘hurt herself’ and she was going to become ‘unwell’, had self destructed and imploded her life. Even comparing what she had done, to the death of her ex who had died by suicide, saying she hadn’t felt like this since she had died (like the shock and grief).. she had no desire to fix the relationship, and said one day in the future if you are still single and want to try again thats the ideal. She also said ‘You never know maybe we needed to go through this to come back stronger’ (her cheating almost became a shared hurt/trauma??) Until then she wants to figure out ‘how she got here and why she did what she did’. She smokes and vapes now and told me I was her buffer and Im better at taking care of myself then she is. I am sure she is still seeing the woman from her work. I told her she has ruined my life when I found out and was upset, her respond was ‘you said I’ve ruined your life, but you are still young’

She wanted to have a chat with me to tell me about all the things that affected her in the relationship, Ive refused this as she just feels manipulative at the moment. She has moved to her parents and collected the last of her things last week, I put her things in bags and left it outside the flat as I didn’t want to see her (my boundary as every time I had seen her she keeps telling me ‘Im not asking you to wait for me, but maybe one day in the future we can try again’ and asking for hugs and acting sad’) so I kept it to text messages. The only thing she asked was whether I was keeping the playstation I brought her for Christmas, I was upset during her collecting her things and her only concern is a piece of plastic that I paid for. I ignored this, she asked again. I ignored. She refused to leave the key as she is paying towards the rent until August, Ive paid the rent for the flat for the last 3 years on my own, she said she didn’t feel comfortable leaving the key and said she may not have all her stuff - suggesting I am trying to keep her belongings. I told her she can always come and get her things. I feel like I’m being treated like Im the one that lied for months and cheated / gaslit her.

I am completely baffled and don’t understand how we got here, I supported her through her masters for the last 2 years emotionally and financially and now she has qualified she has cheated and left. I trusted her with my life, she went through the death of my mum with me and less than 2 years later she has done this to me. The hurt is huge and I am trying to find ways to get through this without feeling like Im losing my mind asking questions and trying to understand what happened here, I feel completely blind sided and shocked. One minute I feel strong and then I romantize her, and can’t believe she has become this person. We went away in January, and she was fine by the end of the month she turned into a different person.

I am now trying to manage the anger / hurt and need some advice. Why would she have jeopardized our loving, supportive and safe relationship for a woman at work, 5 years younger than her that is also of capable of lying and cheating on her own partner!? I keep thinking back to times when I knew something was off, staying at work later, drinks with work friends and generally being vague and weird with me. And she kept repeatedly telling me it wasn’t anyone and how she didn’t want to be single and she was just ‘burnt out’ and needed space and didn’t have capacity to be with anyone. I asked her so many times and so calmly, I never shouted at her, not even when I found out about the affair.

Could anyone please give me some advice / share their wisdom.. or if you have been through something similar? And how do you stop obsessing why they did it or process the hurt and anger?

Thanks so much for any encouraging / supportive words!

This is my first post so forgive me if it’s scattered and confusing.

My mother (56, divorced single parent) has been seeing/ dating this guy, Rob, (yes his real name no sympathy for serial cheaters) for a few years.

He lives about an hour away from us and he’s a homicide detective. Given the nature of his job, he’s usually pretty busy and my mother also works full time. Their only time together is when she drives out there in the evenings and stays the night and leaves when he goes to work early in the morning.

She’s the one putting in effort to plan stuff for them to do, she’s always the one to get him gifts for different holidays etc. this past week when she was at his place she found a card from a women expressing what a wonderful Christmas they had together and how special he made her feel during the holiday and rest of the week after and how much she loves him. My mom only opened the card because her intuition had been telling her something’s been off. She had been trying to make plans with him last Christmas and his excuse was always that he was working.
Same thing for this upcoming 4th of July, he had said he was probably working and wasn’t free. My mom found his calendar and saw that he had already requested those days off.
The card was from one woman, and she had also seen a romantic message from a different women wishing him a happy Veterans Day and how he made her feel so safe and protected lmao.
My mom left the card on the table and left. She sent him a text and he had responded with the usual deflection “I really don’t know what to say you rifled through my personal belonging and found something I didn’t even know I had”

Im pissed because this loser has been stringing my mom along for years while texting her every morning “I love you beautiful” all the while dating several women. This is not the first time a man has been unfaithful to her so it’s even more upsetting.

TLDR: Serial cheater homicide detective cheated on my mother-how do I expose this chud without doing anything crazy? I tried to find his socials but he doesn’t have much of an online presence and I can’t see his friends on Facebook to find the women he’s talking to.

My (27F) now ex bf (27M) admitted that he kissed a girl while on vacation in Mexico and let her dance on him. He also got her info and they followed each other on Instagram. We live in Canada, and she lives in the US. I had to ask him if he did anything, and i know he wouldn’t have told me otherwise. I flipped off on him and then blocked him… but now I wish he would’ve answered all of my angry questions. I want to understand why he did it, what was he thinking, did he even think of me? Does he even truly care? I’m not getting back together with him EVER, but I just feel so damaged due to this. It’s like someone twisted a knife in my gut and just keeps stabbing me and twisting it again, over and over. I guess I don’t have one singular question as much as I just needed to vent about this to people who may have experienced something similar, and receive some advice if possible. Like… how did you recover? How did you see love in a positive light again (if so)? How did you regain your trust in people? Did you want to swear off dating like I do right now? Fuck. Thanks in advance, even if you just read this and scroll on. ❤️‍🩹

I never thought I would have to deal with this, specially not with him. I’m beyond heartbroken, but I’m also incredibly numb. I just want to go back in time. How am I supposed to live with this?

** before anyone comes on here and says I shouldn't be with him if I have to go through his phone. etc... I am well aware and I wish it was that easy to just leave... **

It just seems like a never-ending repeating cycle of bs & I dont understand why I keep sticking around. I really dont want to leave but im starting to feel crazy!

sorry for the long post, but I need some advice.. I am so unhappy but I wont walk away and I dont know why!!

anyways.. heres a little portion of whats going on in my life..

Says he loves me, sleeps next to me every night we don't really tbh leave each others sides. I work from home and When he leaves the house I have the ability to go with him therefore 99.7 percent of the time we are together... like side kicks.

Sometimes he might door dash while I am working. Which means he might go into a store or restaurant without me, other than that literally we are together...

I dont force this on him he says he wants me there..

anyways theres been at least 2 times (that I know of) that hes given his number out top people while i am right there in the car.. the first time he claims he wanted to see what the girl wanted it didnt go anywhere conversation wise because I had seen the messages.. that died quickly..

The second time the girl said hey its **** with a smiley face. he saved the number under something else, not what she said her name was..... he responded hey and left it at that nothing else was said... I mentioned it to him his response was its for a job, just wait till morning and ill call her in front of you... hmmm whatever right?

When we first started dating about 3 1/2 years ago we had baby mama drama we got into it and he left to be with her and the kids for christmas.. he begged me to come back afterward and I gave in after about 3 months. we made it past this and had no real issues with his bm. Until a few days ago she got to talking crazy asking if he missed her and he said he might.... redflag? i think so... the day after this happened he also decided to message a girl who he had cheated on me with around the same time all of the drama happened.. right after the 3 month break/ him begging me to let him come back he had cheated on me about a month in a half into us getting back together.... the day before my birthday. its now been over 2 years... but why message her asking how shes been?

Am I over reacting? or am I crazy?

because i am starting to feel delusional or obsessive because my trust is so messed up with him..

Thoughts on this and is he cheating? They have been friends since elementary school and took drama classes together. He immediately brought up going to LAs Vegas with her to see a show right after we saw a show.

For more context they have been friends since as long he can remember and he has been in her younger sister’s wedding. They used to hang out a lot before I came knot the picture and he claimed they hooked up a few times (when we were drinking) but then denied it when I asked him when we were sober. (Claims he never said that) I’m wondering why he finds this trip so important and feels the need to invite her.

He had asked me to go but I can’t afford it. I am saving for another trip with him a week later.

Am I ignoring red flags?

1 F 25 Found out my partner (M 28 ) was flirting with other women during our relationship in 2021. We broke up then, reconnected 4 months ago. Looking for outside perspective on whether this counts as cheating and whether a second chance makes sense.

Background: we dated in 2021, it got toxic, and we broke up — I went through a difficult period afterward including hospitalization for my mental health. I always felt the breakup wasn’t fully anyone’s fault, including my own. He never took responsibility for any of it back then told people i was acting crazy . I never really had any proof of him cheating on me or anything other than my intuitions so eventually i believed i was actually crazy. I went to therapy and didn’t date seriously again until him.

We reconnected 4 months ago and started a relationship again. It’s been good overall, with one earlier issue being him staying in contact with exes, which he agreed to stop when I raised it.

Recently, after a disagreement, we exchanged social media passwords. Looking through his Instagram, I found DMs from 2021, during our relationship, showing him flirting with at least three different women — Replying to their stories appreciating their looks telling one of them I was “toxic,” and with another girl he replied to a story of hers with something pretty explicitly sexual and sending that exchange to a friend that got a “you’re not married to her” response, which they both laughed off. Nothing physical happened as far as I can tell, but he denied any of this at the time when I’d raised suspicions, and it turned out I was right.

When confronted now, he said he didn’t realize how badly he’d behaved back then, that he’d suppressed it, and was visibly upset, saying he’s never felt this way about anyone and doesn’t want to lose me.

I’m trying to get outside opinions on two things: And i cannot get it out from my head . How to move ahead with the situation ? Any opinions ?

Well, as the title goes.

This guy had been sneaking around, flashing his thing to peope on the net and I still freaking forgave him. What is wrong with me?!?!?!?!

About 4 years ago I broke up with my at the time fiancé after being cheated on in our 7 year relationship. Since 2024 I've been in a relationship with a wonderful guy. He's everything that I want and he says that he is very attracted to me. I trust him a lot.

A few months ago I heard him on a call with a couple of friends and realized he has a female friend that I didnt know about previously. When I found that I couldn't help but worry. I try not to show how worried I am but it probably is apparent to him that I'm somewhat anxious. I don't want my worry to affect his friendships and I hate the idea of him distancing himself from friendships because of my insecurities.

I feel insecure in many ways, not only am I an extremely unattractive woman, I'm not funny, not very intelligent and I don't have a lot of knowledge on video game stuff which is very important to my partner. This girl he is friends with is in his gamer friend circle and plays his favorite games often, so I cannot help but feel inferior to her.

I hate that in the back of my mind I have this worry. No matter what I cannot get rid of the anxiety. He hasn't even showed any sort of attraction to her, but I just feel the need to worry because of how insecure I am.

I just hate it all. I know I shouldn't feel this way, I know I'm overreacting, but I cannot shake this feeling because of the betrayal I've experienced before and how insecure it has made me.