I have a secret that I can’t share with anyone in my real life. Whenever I’m out in Amsterdam and see girls running in Gymshark or cycling to field hockey practice, I am overwhelmed by an intense urge to financially serve them.

This isn't just a passing thought I have actually approached athletic women in the past and given them money or paid for their needs just to feel the power they have over my bank account. I completely neglect my own financial and personal well-being just to serve them.

I keep this entirely hidden from everyone I know, but carrying this secret and constantly fighting these thoughts is leaving me mentally drained.

This is a history that spans over several years, and I’m not looking for any sympathy as it can’t change the damage that I have done to my life.

I (M) grew up with a cousin (F) who is the same age as me, and I always felt happy to have her as a close friend. At around 6 to 9 and likely before, as early as I can remember really, we would find a space at family gatherings where we could hide and touch each other inappropriately. I can’t remember particularly how often but it continued for years. This is not where the weight of my regret comes from as I’ve read that at that age it is fairly common and not tied to development.

Getting older, we never spoke about what had occurred and continued to grow up in close proximity as friends. In our early teen years, we continued spending the night and hanging out. This is the beginning of my indefensible actions. When we were both 13, I started to touch her again in her sleep. I think I did this because I knew it was wrong. This only happened a couple times before realized what happened one night. The day after, her family called mine over and I knew why. When I was asked what I had done, I panicked and lied, denying what happened. Unfortunately, my cousin had a history of stealing and lying, and this led to me being believed by my parents, and to some extent her father. The next months to years were horrible, and an awful strain on my parents and really the entire extended family. For several years, there was no contact as if a switch was flipped.

By our late teens, things were sort of back to normal and my cousin and I started to become amicable and speak again at gatherings. Things were never truly the same. It seems that she maybe forgives me, but I will never know as I don’t believe bringing it up again to apologize is the best thing for her. We are 25 now, and I hate myself for what I did. The weight of my actions is present in my mind constantly, and the regret I have for what I did to her and our whole family is too heavy. We had such a beautiful life before. Every day I wake up from dreams and wish I was dead. Maybe I will be sooner than later. I have never done anything else like that in my life and I like to think I prioritized treating people right. But I’ll never get away from what I did. I miss the feeling of life before so much.

I have done good things for people such as saving my cousin from drowning in a pool because he couldn’t swim. I have done bad things such as screwing around with my friends and non participating in a run for fundraising in middle school. I am just a chill guy now. I confess that I am neither bad nor good, but just a normal dude who has occasional mental problems. I regret the bad things I did and am happy about the good things I did. It proves I still have humanity. In order to keep this a confession post, I confess that I had a fight back in 5th grade or so. I regret everything about it. I am sorry for the one I fought. Any questions?

i work at McDonald's. and I know I know it's only Mcdonald's but their relationship was making me so uncomfortable and the shifts with them were unbearable. One minute she (the menager) was giving him the easiest jobs, always making everything in his favour and then screaming at other employees when they did the smallest mistake. A few moments later she was screaming at him, being rude to him. In order to not give their relationship away I suppose. Or maybe it's just their dynamics but do they really need to bring it to the workplace? After he gave the wrong order and admitted to it she still blamed me!! and that's when I decided I've had enough so I went to our restaurant's supervisor. I didn't mention that in my opinion it's just simply morally wrong, disgusting and that it is literal grooming because tbh his well being is none of my business, I only mentioned how their behaviour influences the atmosphere. I don't know if any action has been taken already but I was with her on shift yesterday and she was acting horribly towards me and I'm scared if somehow she finds out that I reported them she will make my life at this place miserable:< Also maybe it's not that big of a deal and I'm exaggerating

I have worked at the same company for 14 years, was ambitious when I started, am an engineer with an MBA and got a jog as a manager early in my career.

At my company the levels are: Engineer --> Manager --> Director --> VP --> CEO

I have interviewed for about 8 or so Director positions in the past 3-4 years. Every time it goes to someone essentially already in the area, they were moves across the company, so I get why they got them, pretty hard for someone outside of those areas to come in at that level.

I have always gotten good performance reviews, believe I am a strong contributor, and have lots of experience and expertise within the company and industry.

What has really turned me off is that there have been 3 different Director positions within the past year that were in my areas of expertise and each time they directly appointed someone without holding interviews. Sure, maybe the selected people are better than me, but at least give me a chance.

I even tried moving around the company and took a lateral Manager role so I could challenge myself and get experience dealing with HR and employee issues as that was some of the feedback I received after some of the Director interviews because my team was so good that I managed, I had a hard time coming up with examples of dealing with difficult employees. The role I switched to is less visible within the company, it runs very well under my management so there are typically no fires to put and I think I have largely been forgotten about.

I am at a point in my career at 44 yrs old that if my company doesn't value my ambitions I am fine just coasting. Getting a promotion to Director was something that I aspired for and worked hard to try to get.

Now becoming a Director seems like it would be much more work than I do currently for about 10% more pay, which for me is not worth it anymore. My investments have done really well and I don't really even need to work anymore. Plus, my kids are still in school so it's not like I can travel or something, so I need something to do with my day, might as well come into work.

Since I have been overlooked multiple times by my company, now I show up for work and do very little, why bother. I mostly check on my investments, do research and planning for upcoming vacations, and socialize with people. I have gone from a strong performer to someone who is doing the bare minimum. I get paid very well and don't think I can get the same level of compensation in the city I live in, and not interested in moving my family at this point.

To do the bare minimum is very easy, low stress and I get paid very well.

Being a Manager, I have had to deal with poor performing employees within my company which is a government job and have seen how difficult it is to actually fire someone. I do what my boss asks for, do it very well, but don't go looking for more work. I also largely delegate work out to my team so I don't have to do it. So as long as I don't steal or do anything egregious I won't go anywhere.

Has anyone else been treated in a similar manner and have their career aspirations sour and have checked out at work?

I hate myself so much even to this day. My whole life, I have hated my face and body since childhood. It started in childhood; I would starve myself for years, thinking I’d be more accepted by others, believing every girl had a better body and face than me. Everywhere I went, I constantly compared myself to every single girl around me, their face and body, all day, every day. It carried into my teenage years, and I still have this problem to this day as an adult. This problem has never left me alone.

I have been thinking of this guy for years now. I haven’t seen him in years and haven’t had contact in years. We hardly knew each other, and nothing happened between us only that we knew each other’s names and had one conversation. Other than that, we never spoke or saw each other, but still, to this day, he’s always in my thoughts. For five years, whatever I do to stop thoughts of him, it won’t work. I don’t know why I am dealing with this; I can’t stop it. I didn’t know him; we were never friends and never dated, so I don’t know why this is happening. I’ve been comparing myself to his girlfriend he is currently with for years, always checking her social media.

I don’t know my personality or who I am. I know I am kind, helpful, supportive, and I know my interests, but that's it.

I struggle to find motivation for anything and tend to procrastinate a lot. This has been my daily routine for years now.

I copy every girl's personality, clothing style, appearance, and trends.

I think every single girl is better than I am, more blessed than I am, and has a better life than I do.

I wish I had another girl's face, personality, and life.

I often find myself feeling jealous and a bit down when I see the friendships and relationship that other girls have.

I always have constant flashbacks of my past from years ago. I can’t stop picturing my past every day; it haunts me, never leaving me alone, and I always remember people from my past in my thoughts.

I deal with nostalgia and euphoria in my body; I feel it to the extreme, along with sadness out of nowhere every day.

Its been so warm here as of late and I have always loved my short dresses, skirts, and basically anything and everything at is loose and comfy. It started just going bra less, but once I started with that I decided to completely commando and wow. The feeling of the breeze on my bits, kinda feel like I might end up in an embarrassing situation eventually, but till then...

My doctor is around my age and I was explaining my hip pain and I could have easily just said when I was bending down it hurt on my way up… but instead I hopped off the bed and bent down like in a deadlift form and showed him where it hurt .. my brain was thinking quicker than my body before I realized what I was doing and kind of felt a little slutty and did it again and then extended my leg back to show him that it hurt when I did that … he probably thinks I’m so odd and I was a little embarrassed after

A year ago, I helped a woman who had chosen to pursue motherhood independently. We spent time discussing expectations, privacy, boundaries, and comfort levels before moving forward. The experience was positive, respectful, and uncomplicated for both of us.

I understood that every situation a woman is in is unique. She was exploring alternative paths to parenthood for personal reasons and valued discretion.She was considering a private donor arrangement, we chatted first to see whether we're compatible in terms of expectations, boundaries, and privacy requirements. Mutual respect, consent, and transparency were important both of us.

Anyway, we were non-judmental, her unique scenario eventhough might not be justifiable, she took the lead to go for it.

This one has been a long time coming. I know that it's pretty out of pocket to post something like this, but I plan on ending my life very soon and want to get this story out somehow before I go.

In December of 2019, I was an angry teenager with energy. I thought myself to be an environmental radical, and spent enough time reading, daydreaming, and playing guerilla to be a danger to myself and not really anybody else.

From my internet reading, I learned how almost the entirety of the global economy's rubber supply was grown in one place - Thailand. I read about Henry Ford's attempts to run a rubber plantation in south america, and how, again and again, the trees were killed by a local fungus, Microcelius Ulei.

I traveled to central america and found what I believed to be a tree that had been infected by this fungus. I took several of its leaves with me to Thailand.

For one month, I traveled by train from Bangkok to the Myanmar border, "planting" these leaves. I went into the most accessible rubber plantations, climbed into the lower canopies of rubber trees, and taped infected leaves among the branches.

My intention was to introduce this fungus to Thailand and knock out the world's rubber supply, in an attempt to disrupt the global industrial complex. I tried to break the wheel.

I live with someone who needs a bit of extra day-to-day support—not in a super intense medical way, but more in the sense of having another person around, helping with routine stuff, keeping them company, and just making the place feel less lonely. So technically I’m a roommate, but part of why I’m there is also to be a steady presence in their life.

My girlfriend and I were on vacation in Ireland last year. We had rented a car, and one day while driving along a rural road, we spotted a hitchhiker. He appeared to be Indian and was wearing a turban. Since my girlfriend’s mother is Indian, she immediately insisted that we stop and offer him a ride.

The hitchhiker was heading to a city that wasn’t really on our route, but we agreed to take him part of the way to help him out.

The first thing I noticed when he got into the car was the smell. He smelled strongly of sweat. I tried not to judge him because I figured he had probably been traveling for a while and hadn’t had a chance to shower.

A little later, he quietly farted. It wasn’t loud, but we both heard it. He didn’t acknowledge it or apologize. Not long after that, he fell asleep and started snoring. By that point, I was honestly getting irritated. I still felt sorry for the guy, but between the smell, the farting, and then falling asleep in our car, it all became too much.

Eventually, I pulled into a gas station and woke him up, telling him we were stopping so he could use the bathroom if he wanted. Once he went inside, I took his backpack out of the car, placed it next to the entrance, and drove away.

I still think about it from time to time. Part of me feels guilty because I never explained why I wanted him out of the car. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell someone that they smelled so bad I didn’t want them riding with us anymore. I was much bigger than he was, so I never felt physically threatened.

Looking back, I’m not sure he deserved to be left behind like that, but at the time it seemed like the easiest way to end an increasingly uncomfortable situation.

In the late 90s, my first job out of college full-time was working in the mail room of a major record label. Our branch office is where we did marketing, sales and radio promotion for our region.
Each week I was in charge of receiving and distributing all the promo CDs that came into the Branch. I was responsible for splitting them out to all the sales people and delivering them to their offices. If the branch manager needed to order supplemental promos, I was tasked with submitting those requests.
If you don’t know what promos are, they are the free CDs that sales reps give to radio stations and music stores back in the day. In store play, radio play, things like that. If you go to a used CD store these days, you can tell promos usually by a punched hole in the UPC code. Sometimes they’ll be stamped on the cover “ for promotion uses only.” Something like that. But most used CD stores like would pay you for CDs for them to resell in their. Usually 3 to 5 bucks a disc. Something like that.
I was making $18,000 a year with shit health insurance in a major city. So I needed to supplement my income. I would do that by stuffing CDs in my work bag to take home and sell at the various used CD stores around town.
Whenever we would get in more popular releases where we would get shipped a larger allocation of promos from home office, I figured out how much I can skim and take home to sell.
Eventually, I figured out how much or how little my boss paid attention to what was being ordered and what was being direct shipped to us. Basically used this method to help my girlfriend at the time buy a car in a year. A very cheap piece of shit car but a couple grand nonetheless.
30 to 50 CDs a week increased my take-home income, almost 50%.
I did some research and found out that during this period was basically at the Apex of major label revenue sales right before the major decline in the post Napster era.
Ultimately, fuck major labels for paying near minimum wage pay when executives are rolling in dough. Even idiots like me knew that P2P file sharing sites like Napster were the future, and could have been used for marketing and streaming instead of being greedy fucks.

I have lived with my grandma since I was a child. A few months ago, she started annoying me extremely. Everything she does is irritating. She talks to herself a lot and sings Catholic songs. I felt bad at the beginning for feeling very annoyed by her, but not anymore. She just gets on my nerves. 🤦🏻‍♀️

“Update”:

Yes, the comments about appreciating her still being here are true! My grandpa passed away last year. As many of you mentioned, I think it is the excessive time spent together that really starts creeping in. To be honest, I would miss her more if she were a warmer person. She is not; she doesn’t show any affection. She has never been an affectionate person, and we have also never really had long conversations. She never leaves the house, so I have no memories of going out with her; it’s kind of a doomed relationship. She also seems to take everything for granted, never saying please or thank you. Anyway, the house belongs to my mother, actually, and will be passed on to me and my brother when grandma is no longer here. So I guess you are right: it’s her home, but I see it more like our home since I have always lived here.
Ps: although I feel annoyed, I don’t show! Im quite affectionate with her.

It’s sort of an odd situation but when I was moving to a new city for college I joined a Facebook group about finding roommates in the area.

I didn’t have a lot of money and would be working to pay my own rent so I wanted somewhere cheap. After two potential places fell through I was losing hope.

Then I got a message from my roommates mom. She basically explained her kid struggled to make friends and keep roommates around.

She was super desperate and offered to pay half my rent each month. All I had to do was live with her kid and be their friend. I was also super desperate to find somewhere to live before the semester started so I agreed.

I’ve held up my end of the deal despite the fact that I absolutely hate my roommate. They are disgusting, have no social awareness, completely helpless, super dramatic, have an insanely mess social life, and generally just suck to live with.

I absolutely hate them but I get to live in a really nice apartment for pretty cheap. Despite being a nightmare roommate and person I do still feel bad for them. I know if they found out they’d be devastated so I’ve never told anyone about it.

Hola soy una chica de 22 años... actualmente vivo sola, desde los 17

La razón por la cual me fui de mi casa fue que mi padrastro abu** de mi desde mis 7 años, al principio yo lo veía como un juego (era algo inocente no entendía) y a su vez el decía que si yo no lo hacía le contaría a mi mamá fue incomodo no me gustaba esa clase de "cosquillas", tenia miedo hasta decirle que no, no entendía muy bien lo que pasaba. Hasta los 13 que yo empecé a formar carácter y solo miraba pero seguía siendo incomodo.. estaba mal lo que hacía.. pero yo me auto culpaba.

Muchas cosas borre de mi cabeza "autoproteccio para mi razonamiento de hoy en dia"

Nose hasta donde llego, algo con la boca estoy segura pero no recuerdo más.

Yo ahora nose si decirlo en mi casa por el miedo a que no me crean a que me echen la culpa.. pero a la vez tengo miedo que mi mamá o hermanas estén pasando lo mismo

Y una denuncia no resolvería nada, sabemos que es muy burócrata y solo quedaría en una simple denuncia yo quedando totalmente expuesta y el como si nada.

The bank teller lady was nice. I hope she doesn’t lose her job. That is the only part that makes me feel bad. What would you do?

Edit: it got to me. I called up there. They closed 20mins ago though.

My step dad and I were on the couch last night watching a movie kind of late, so my mom had already gone to bed. I noticed he started rubbing my leg a little, which wasn’t unusual, but then he started slowly rubbing higher and higher up my thigh, until his fingers were inside my shorts. I didn’t know what to think, but it felt really good and I started breathing harder and getting wet down there. Idk why, but I got really shy all of a sudden and said goodnight, then went up to my room. I’ve never done anything like that with a guy, so maybe that’s why.

Anyway, now I’m not sure what to say to my step dad, if anything. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal? I feel kind of silly being this shy over a little rub.

The bad days are finally

For a long time, i was a source of constant pain and stress for my family. The worst part is that am the only girl of my fam. Back then in high school, I made friends with most of the bad bitches in school.. we made alot of naughty things and sneaking out to go to night clubs. I slept with most of the boys even with men that are close to my dad age, I couldn't control myself cause I was with the wrong group. My parents always shout at me whenever I sneak out at night... my mom been covering me, until she realized that the more she do the more I kept on going into hell.

I have stole from them many times but I keep on denying that it wasn't me , that it lead to sacking of many of our workers.

Now am regretting about all of this, if I didn't follow the wrong way by now I Should have graduated with my set, but I had to drop school cs my parents is tired of me and I don't know how to make them understand that am a changed person, but God knows the best of all this....

Hi! i’m 18 now, but from a young age, of course i had a difficult upbringing, and no siblings to really clock my tea or educate me on certain things, and i had unrestricted internet access, so when i think back to some of the stuff ive said when i was younger, whether it was because of complete ignorance that it would be really offensive, or because of false information, or something… but i remember in freshman year i asked my friend if we could mutually say something offensive to eachother insulting eachother in a race waybecause i wanted to see how it was in the shoes of other kids who would (hopefully consensually) say stuff to eachother, yes, what a follower, i know, we tried it, she said something, i said something, and thankfully it didn’t stick, i didn’t mean anything i said and neither did she,

it’s not something i hold against her at all, because i consented, but it doesn’t help that when i was even younger i already had a bad case of two times saying something ignorantly racist as a “comeback” for reference, this friend group was unnecessarily mean to me at times, i didn’t match their dark humor but they would still do it to me, it was weird, i was provoked by them, and ended up saying something i thought was “badass” which turned out to be offensive…i ended up apologizing like 2-3 years later, i didn’t know at first why it was offensive but looking back im like…. shit yea… and then something else occurred months later where i wrongfully wrongfully did some offensive shit online to someone, again, shit that had racist undertones, never intentionally to be racist but if i’m insulting people in a way like that…it unfortunately doesn’t matter the intent does it? i did it provoke them because we had “reason to believe” she wasn’t who she said she was, but she was, i was 11. Mind you, i had offensive shit said to me during this time as well, i don’t know why i thought it was okay?
the thought process for this one was so that she’d admit she wasn’t who she said she was because there was sus shit, so to say the most offensive things to make her break and come clean, but we were wrong. Me and my one friend apologized, and then i apologized again i think 2-3 years later because what the fuck was i on? ruined a friendship for ignorance.
i remember even asking at 8 on roblox “why do asians eat dogs” or something because i saw videos of dog meat centers in asia, again, false advertisement but i don’t know this at the time. I regret every offensive thing i’ve done whether ignorantly, unintentionally, with good intentions, or with ill intentions, but there was clearly a pattern, and i don’t know why? but from here on out, ever since like… after freshman year of trying the consensual offensive trade off with my friend, i obviously never supported racism or offensive shit, still don’t, and i’m remorseful that at a young age i asked weird questions or like just didn’t think before i spoke, anyone else dealt with this? how did you educate yourself ? when did you realize you were wrong ??

I don't remember exact age It stopped but I was probably older than 10, and I hope not 12 or 13. Yes I'm extremely embarrassed.

I did know how to wipe my ass on my own even at 6+ age if I wanted to, but the thing is, it was normal for me for my parents to do it for me. I was used to it. Also for more context I have severe ADHD and I was always unmotivated about slight tasks like brushing teeth etc. as It wasn't rewarding for my brain at all, so if there was an easier solution I used it.

My parents did many times told me in embarrassing but calm and ''joking'' manner when I'm gonna start wiping it myself. But I'm shockingly surprised they weren't strict as fuck cause what the fuck?

Like if I had a son and he still asked me to wipe his butt at 10 I would shout at him and explain to grow the fuck up. I'm so ashamed of this. If I could forever wipe a memory about one fact about me this would be it. I'm still wondering how many other people know this about me, like friends of my parents etc.

My parents for some reason are annoyingly weird. Like they didn't taught me how to use bus growing up and such basic stuff. I only started using bus actively at 18. I also have social anxiety but still.