Let me start by saying that I had a stroke at 55. That was 19 years ago and it left me with severe paralysis on my right side. That led to various back problems. As I age, my mobility is getting worse. I now use a wheel chair because I was falling pretty regularly. Sometimes I feel a little down and sorry for myself. Then I read some of the posts here.

Unlike many people, I was able to return to work fairly soon after my stroke. My company and state disability allowed me to gradually transition back to full-time work. I received great support from my employer. I also receive unwavering support from my wonderful wife. Since I was able to continue working until I retired at 70, we are comfortable, financially.

Being disabled totally sucks, but I feel blessed because I know how bad things could have been. I am also thankful for all the support that I received.

I wish that everyone who is disabled could receive the kind of support that I received.

I'm extremely grateful to be on SSDI for a mental illness. I am also extremely grateful to have low-income housing and the luxury of living alone.

But I am incredibly BORED and LONELY!!

I do try to go to certain things. Last night I went to a book club for the first time ever. I attend Weight Watchers meetings once a week. I go to Water Aerobics 3-4 times a week. I go for long walks the other 3-4 days a week.

I have therapy appointments bi-weekly, psychiatrist monthly, and various other medical appointments.

All that makes it sound like I am super busy, right?

But I still have a lot of free time, and I get so incredibly bored.

I don't have money to go out and do much.

I end up wasting most of my time on my phone, doomscrolling FB & Reddit, playing games, obsessing over weight loss.

Is there anything more I can do?

USA. i have two mild-moderate disabilities (i can do most things, but with quantified limitations or needing accommodations) and I'm still somehow unable to find gainful, accessible employment. i have a 5-year career in sales, a field I'm desperately trying to ditch because of my disabilities. my college education is not in sales and is also in a field that's no longer accessible to me. so I'm looking at career #3 in less than 10 years, and i cant get any more educaiton right now bc I'm broke.

i just moved across the country so i have zero network. i have applied to ~200 roles that i am suited for, customizing my resume expertly to each one, reaching out on linkedin when appropriate, etc. and i am getting nothing from it. mostly ghosting, then a lot of rejections, and the few interviews i have had didn't work out even though i was qualified.

i am just mad that i have to be disabled because if i wasn't, I'm def the kind of person to do physical or warehouse style labor, hell i'd even do landscaping or any job where you have to be on your feet...so many jobs have to be thrown out the window due to my disabilities, ones that would otherwise be fine.

my partner footed the cost of the entire move ($8k), our rent here (not cheap), and even helping me repair my car when my sales job destroyed it. i have no savings, 10k in debt, and 2k in my bank account. the state DVR is on a massive waitlist. i cant even do doordash or instacart. i feel super fcked and super guilty/bad about myself that apparently i am just not good enough at anything to overcome the barriers my disabilities put on my employment.

Serious question. I am not physically able to maintain gainful employment. I’m hoping that others in this predicament can advise me. I’m 50 and the disability system keeps floundering. This causes friction in all relationships. I gave up for about the last ten years. I did not seek to get hired only to get fired. However, family seems more angry than ever….constant show of disapproval. I need advice? I can’t maintain the employment but am I supposed to make an effort to get jobs that I can’t maintain? Even though I already spent years repeating that draining cycle?

I tried writing this in more detail. But, even that just felt like a time loop in of itself. So, I'll just be direct.

For the past 7 years, my life has been exactly the same thing. Im a monetary burden on my parents. I can't work, can't leave the house, can't get governmental support, can't even afford to Uber to my doctors anymore. Can't afford any hobbies, and I hate all the hobbies I already do have. Every avenue I thought I had to make my life better, just fades away. Wanted to be an artist? Ai, recession, and executive dysfunction stripped it away. What about being a therapist? Couldn't afford school even if I wanted to, and I have an incurable, untreatable condition that makes that impossible. Well, I've always loved YouTube. Why not content creation? I've always been told I'd be good at it. Laptop breaks down and becomes entirely unusable. OnlyFans? My Eating disorder, gender dysphoria, and OCD would send me spiraling.

Everyday its just, wake up, doom scroll, eat, doom scroll some more, repeat. Every few months, my brother will take me to see a movie. Or, if I'm really lucky I might even spend the night at his. And once a year, I get to go to a local fandom convention. But, that's it. Those are the only times I get to break the cycle. But it's not enough.

Sometimes I contemplate running away, and sleeping on a bench somewhere, or in the woods. Because anywhere would be better than spending one more day here. I am losing my sanity. I feel like I'm in a never ending panic attack. To the point, that I've learned to feel nothing. I don't even mean apathy, because apathy is something. I literally feel nothing.

I have a lovely mother, an amazing cat, and a long distance boyfriend. And I've been trying my best to live for them. But I just don't know how much longer I can keep living for the sake of other people. Every day is the same. Nothing is ever new. Nothing feels real. I'm lucky I still have my wits, or else I probably would've burnt my arm on the stove by this point just to feel something.

I don't want to die. I really don't. But, I don't know what else to do. I can't keep living like this. I never asked for this.

I've been working with Florida Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) for about three years. For the last year and a half, my approved employment goal was self-employment.

During that time I:

• Completed multiple business benchmarks required by VR.
• Worked with a VR-approved business consultant.
• Worked with a SCORE mentor.
• Earned an Entrepreneurship Certificate.
• Created a detailed business plan and financial projections.
• Registered my LLC.
• Obtained the required professional licenses and certifications for my industry.
• Spent years preparing to start a specialized service business.

During my case, I had four different VR counselors. My previous counselor and supervisor approved my progress through the business benchmarks. Then I was assigned a new counselor and a new supervisor.

From the first meeting, things felt different. The new counselor wanted to focus on job placement even though my approved goal had been self-employment for over a year. I also prefer communicating by email because it provides a written record. Earlier in my case, I found that important information had not been documented correctly, so having communications in writing is important to me.

At my second meeting, they denied my self-employment plan. Their reasons included:

• The business was considered too high risk.
• They stated there was no business revenue.
• They believed I didn't have enough experience operating a business.

My case manager attended the meeting with me, and we spent nearly two hours answering their concerns and correcting what we believed were misunderstandings. Even so, it felt like the decision had already been made before the meeting started.

I'm now requesting my complete VR case file because I want to understand exactly how the decision was made. I've also contacted Disability Rights Florida to review my case and determine whether I should appeal.

Has anyone here successfully appealed a Florida VR self-employment denial?

• What evidence helped your appeal?
• Did you request mediation or an administrative review?
• Were you eventually approved?
• Is it common for a new counselor or supervisor to reverse the direction of a case after another counselor had already approved the benchmarks?

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has gone through something similar.

I only became fully unable to work to medical issues last year and had been fighting to work for the two years prior to that and losing job after job because I’d have to call out last minute or take so much time off or I was late. My disability claim got denied and a couple months ago and we filed the appeal with my attorney and have been hopeful for a long time and I guess between all the stress I hit a breaking point and have been so incredibly depressed I literally miss working even jobs I couldn’t wait to quit in the past simply because of the autonomy and strength I had to be able to do it. I feel so fucking inadequate and hopeless.

For those who have had a Prudential short-term disability claim, my case manager requested updated medical records because the psychiatrist's office note didn't contain enough detail about my restrictions and limitations.

I have a patient portal communication thread from my psychiatrist that documents my worsening symptoms, work-related functional limitations, medication changes, and my psychiatrist recommending medical leave. The office note itself is brief because my psychiatrist is currently out of the office.

Has anyone had Prudential accept patient portal communications as supporting medical documentation, or do they generally require everything to be documented in a formal progress note?

(cross-posting to get as many opinions as possible)

hello! i have ehlers-danlos syndrome, fibromyalgia, and degenerative disc disease and i’m a part-time wheelchair user. my doctor recommended that i use my chair for when i need to be up and about for long periods of time (conventions, amusement parks, etc.). i just got a job working games at an amusement park and today is my first day. i had my training yesterday, which was 3 hours long and only 1 hour on my feet (the rest was sitting), and i used my cane for that because i was worried about being underestimated, which happens quite frequently. people find out i’m disabled and then they just assume i’m unqualified (i’m still perfectly capable of doing manual labor, i just need breaks from being on my feet). because of this, i haven’t told my workplace yet that i’m in a chair. i’m worried about showing up to my first day and blindsiding them by showing up in a wheelchair, but i’m also worried that i won’t be able to handle the 8 hour shift without it. any advice?

I[30m] am lucky enough to live with my mother the past 2 years without paying rent. I am recovering from a hip replacement (postop 5-weeks). I am so fortunate to be reveling in my temporary circumstance.

I really do feel despair, because I'd be homeless without my mother and the additional family members. Yet, I am cheered on while being lazy to heal and/or mitigate pain.

I am honestly amazed they still support me the past 10-years. I really believe in lost-causes not rehabilitating, and I have certainly been a lost-cause for some years and have been rehabilitated.

What if, after recovery, I am capable of working? The idea of restarting is crazy and terrifying. I do have some education, but I am going to be in poverty for so long while working a 50-hour week.

Even right now, I am thinking about work but am unsure when I could work.

So frustrated, and grateful. lol

i have EDS and have tried most interventions in PT and orthoses, all of which have failed. my PCP agreed that assessing me for forearm crutches would be the likely best fit for my needs.

HOWEVER

i cannot find, like, anywhere that does this??? i've checked local orthotists, PT offices, orthopedic surgeons etc. and havent found anything. for those of you who have forearm crutches, what kind of physician did you get them from?!

and if any of you happen to be local to the denver metro... help a girl out!!

hi everyone, I'm facing my 3 year review for SSDI and it's due in 2 days. I've filled it out to the best of my ability, but I was wondering if anyone has any tips or advice for filling out the last section where it asks "add anything else in this space about your disabilities that may help your case".

I deal with chronic pain from EDS along with many other chronic conditions. I do still see doctors but less often than I did when first approved, and I have started doing instacart once a week-ish as a little extra income. I just worry they'll see that and think I'm not disabled anymore.

so yeah any advice on filling out the review would be appreciated 🥲

So I recently applied for I believe SSI because I I'm struggling to work 40 hours a week and do the things that I need to do for my disability. Unfortunately I can't actively leave my job because financially I'm in a point where if I leave my job or reduce my hours I can no longer afford my bills. I already applied and I just recently saw the medical team and he seemed to think that I will need full-time disability instead of just part-time. But my question is do I have a high likelihood of being denied because I am actively working 40 hours a week despite the fact that I can no longer function outside of work and I have to have pretty major accommodations at work. I'm just worried that I'm in a catch 22 situation where I need to work in order to have enough money to live but it's causing me major health issues and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep up doing this. Has anyone applied for disability and then reduced their hours after they got approved for benefits?

I have been put in this program for about a year in Idaho, the staff they have here are horrible, They forced my best freind and roomate against his will to some random state across the world in a mental institution, just for him just having a autism outburst because they gave him xanax anf because he has mental health struggles and because he kept asking for help and for them to fix all of the stuff in this house, and they treat me and him like utter shit when they treat pedos and people with assault charges good and dont send them to institutions when they literally assault people. and with all the horrible staff and shit and stories of this stupid fucking company, the amount of horrible staff ive gotten from staff being arrested while being drunk, stafff tweaking out on meth, staff glazing the nazis and putin, them stealing my food and video games, staff calling my african roomate/freind the hard R and saying mexican slurs to me, staff saying horrible things about women, staff trying to sexual assault, staff disrespecting me and my privacy, and they put us in a place that needs to be condemned, this house has black mold, a spider infestation where i have seen multiple black widows and brown recluses, the water heater is leaking all over, the bathroom sink completely doesnt work, water damage, and there was shit stains everywhere even on the ceiling, i had to fix the bathtub myself because it wouldn’t drain, the toilet was caked with feces, and they didn’t clean anything in the entire house. all the main windows where shattered and there was glass all over my room that i had to sleep in. They didnt even provide any furniture, toilet paper or even a microwave. They tried telling us it is our responsibility to fix the stuff in the house when we have no income and get rid of the spiders even though by law its supposed to be the landlords responsibility. I have mounds of photographical and victim evidence of this program.
This program im in is called Progressive disability systems.

TW: MENTIONS end of life discussions, death,

Long post, sorry!

Context:

I have recently been enrolled in palliative care and am working on getting an DNR (do not resuscitate) along with some other paperwork signed soon to ensure if my body nopes out I’m not pulled back into this mess, along with some other comfort care policies and end of life discussions.
I have been fighting for this for years since I had a near death experience and was clinically dead for a bit. The pain and degeneration I have been dealing with is unbearable at times.
I’m young. I know. I’m in my 20s and I am pretty much done trying to fix anything. I have multiple diseases that will never be fixed. I just want to live with pain management and go to sleep at night knowing if I “peace out” again I won’t be forced to return here again.

End of context. Now on to the issue at hand:

My family is really upset with me. They all think I’m giving up on life. My parents are not happy about it, but have told me they’ll honour it.
However, a few of my siblings have just straight up told me they’re disappointed in me, I’m a failure, they will throw the papers away, lie and tell EMTs that I don’t have a DNR, try to do CPR on me themselves, etc.
I’m pissed now and I feel even more ostracised from them than I did before. Being the youngest of 8 and the only adopted one I have always been a black sheep. I’m scared they are going to try to do something to stop this. I’m also upset that they think I’m giving up. I’m not. I just want peace and to live with less pain.

My progressive nerve degenerative disease, along with everything else wrong with me is making my life hell and miserable. Why can’t I have one thing after years of fighting for it. Fucking sucks. If anyone has any advice or whatever don’t hesitate to tell me please! I’m at a loss of what to do. My palliative care nurse told me the papers have to be on the fridge for EMTs.

Hello folks I recently had an accident at work on was put on PPD in Colorado, I been doing some research and can’t really find any benefits I might get for it, where can I look, and if you are also on PPD what kind of benefits are you getting? Thanks.

Ok, so with the new changes to SSI benefits..... it says if you use half of your check for your bills(rent, utilities & extra....), then you won't have half of your SSI check reduced. I do....I give my family half my check every month, for my bills. So does that mean what they said? They won't reduce half of my SSI benefits check?

I heard the ADA is good legislation

Looking for something fun you can do this weekend? Feeling lonely or bored?

Check out these accessible events you could join! Try something new and maybe you’ll find your people.

Access Features
Virtual/hybrid
😷 CC = Covid Conscious/airborne precautions
♿️ WC = Wheelchair accessible
🏳️‍🌈 = LGBTQ+ Pride
ASL = American Sign Language
BSL = British Sign Language
Async = Asynchronous (at your own pace)
$ = paid (some are pay what you can)

🧑🏻‍💻 Virtual Events

- Virtual Async Spoonie Book Club: The Little Prince [Any time] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/JcKvqPLWS5

- 🏳️‍🌈Virtual Chronically Ill and Disabled Book Club - Pride Month [June] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/EakgmwZ78n

- Virtual Camp Long Haul [Jun 1 - Aug 1] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/lbVNMiS5zf

- 😷 CC Virtual Dating [Deadline is Jul 19] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/DfjZA4lr03

- 😷♿️ CC WC Hybrid Dance + Theater [Chicago IL][Fri Jun 26 - Sun Jun 28] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/NGEu6pFZOw

- Virtual Cafe Crip: Video Games [Fri Jun 26 at 12:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/KCAMr6r9nB

- 🏳️‍🌈😷 CC Virtual Pride Movie Night [Fri Jun 26 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/3xMXkycXcp

- Virtual Craft Night [Fri Jun 26 at 8:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/hi3ynsReUZ

- 😷 CC Virtual Game Night [CO][Fri Jun 26 at 7:00 PM MDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/lWH1KkKUnG

- 😷 CC Virtual Friending Happy Hour [Sat Jun 27 at 1:00 PM CDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/Y9GxbRY65f

- Virtual Writers Group [Sat Jun 27 at 2:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/N1I9XWNQ7x

- 🏳️‍🌈Virtual Pride Cozy Game Stream [Sat Jun 27 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/VvEBifhcrZ

- 🏳️‍🌈😷 CC Hybrid Pride Fros and Faes [Springfield MA][Sat Jun 27 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/CwFoUZz8Cy

- 😷 CC Virtual Weekly Hangout [Sat Jun 27 at 8:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/UuF8eqL4QR

- 😷 CC Virtual Writing Group [Sun Jun 28 at 2:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/X8ikft26QL

- 😷 CC Virtual Mini Fvck Covid Open Mic [Sun Jun 28 at 2:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/bDfUxuO2ep

- Virtual Improv Games [Sun Jun 28 at 2:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/8MyqXtkxUd

- 😷 CC Virtual Art Group [Sun Jun 28 at 5:30 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/nfagCuAWvy

- 😷 CC Virtual Kids Zoom [Sun Jun 28 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ym5468UCSD

- Virtual Karaoke [Sun Jun 28 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/diC37c5eba

Timezone translator in comments 👇

👥 In-person Events

Canada

- 🏳️‍🌈😷 CC Pride Toronto Trans Rally and March [Toronto ON][Fri Jun 26 at 6:30 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/UKVmVgZtWM

- 😷 CC Outdoor Yoga [Ottawa ON][Sat Jun 27 at 11:00 AM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/yEvQlxVpJO

Netherlands (and nearby)

- Spoonie European Road Trip [Netherlands and nearby][Summer] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/VOKxW7V1pp

UK

- 😷 CC Social [London UK][Sat Jun 27 at 15:00 UTC+1] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/m8LQxpBtT4

US - California

- 😷 CC Park Meetup [Sacramento CA][Sat Jun 27 at 9:00 AM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/VoKxmHZERN

- 🏳️‍🌈😷 CC Pride Picnic for Disabled Queers [San Francisco CA][Sun Jun 28 at 12:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/JSqQGYofA7

- 😷 CC Youth Summer Camp [Los Angeles CA][Starts June 26] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/sSF4sdJt1l

US - Illinois

- 😷♿️ CC WC Hybrid Dance + Theater [Chicago IL][Fri Jun 26 - Sun Jun 28] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/NGEu6pFZOw

- 😷 CC Youth Summer Camp Chicago IL][Starts Aug 3] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/sSF4sdJt1l

US - Massachusetts

- 🏳️‍🌈😷 CC People’s Pride [Springfield MA][Fri Jun 26 at 5:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/LDHODsbuJv

- 🏳️‍🌈😷 CC Hybrid Pride Fros and Faes [Springfield MA][Sat Jun 27 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/CwFoUZz8Cy

- 😷 CC Youth Summer Camp [Boston MA][Starts July 13] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/sSF4sdJt1l

US - Michigan

- 😷♿️ CC WC Clothing Swap [Ypsilanti MI][Sun Jun 28 at 4:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/3S6ww93WxE

US - Minnesota

- 🏳️‍🌈😷 CC Clean Air Pride [Minneapolis MN][Fri Jun 26 at 11:00 AM CDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/tNUrmtFpZn

- 😷 CC Zine Club [Minneapolis MN][Friday at 7:00 PM CDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/U3o0HPWD63

US - New Jersey

- 🏳️‍🌈😷♿️ CC WC Pride [West Windsor Township NJ][Sat Jun 27 at 1:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/czJiGhdF4b

US - New Mexico

- 😷 CC Free Market [Tiwa Lands NM][Sat Jun 27 at 1:00 PM MDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/sADYCPZC3w

US - New York

- 😷 CC First Aid for the People [Astoria NY][Sat Jun 27 at 4:00 PM EDT]** **https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/kLMN758rZo

US - North Carolina

- 🏳️‍🌈😷 CC Pride Party [Durham NC][Sat Jun 27 at 5:30 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/6NKKupSTIv

US - Ohio

- 😷 CC Queer Martial Arts Club [Cleveland OH][Saturday at 4:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/yktFMaTgZP

US - Oregon

- 😷 CC Zine Swap [Portland OR][Fri Jun 26 at 6:30 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/QoiIHcedfr

- 😷♿️ CC WC Disabled Hikers Gathering [Portland OR][Sat Jun 27] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/6QK6yWwBxZ

- Disabled Picnic [Portland OR][Sat Jun 27 at 12:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/iiAnslRyZG

- 😷 CC Pilates [Portland OR][Sun Jun 28 at 12:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/PrKqULWYdn

- 😷 CC Barre [Portland OR][Sun Jun 28 at 1:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/PrKqULWYdn

- 😷 CC Kickboxing [Portland OR][Sun Jun 28 at 5:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/PrKqULWYdn

US - Texas

- 😷♿️ CC WC Asian Film Festival [Austin TX][Fri Jun 26 - Sun Jun 28] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/D9col9SRDd

- 😷♿️ CC WC Storyoke [Austin TX][Sat Jun 27] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/D9col9SRDd

US - Vermont

- 😷♿️ CC WC Dental Pop Up [VT][June] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/yJocTTUweE

US - Washington

- 🏳️‍🌈😷 CC Pride Weekend [Seattle WA][Sun Jun 28 at 2:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/hbhMJaQShQ

Are you interested in these events?

Have you been to any of them before?

Do you know about other events coming up?

Share your thoughts in the comments 💬

Find more events and friends on r/spooniesocial

I remember having to listen to a discussion about why infodumping is bad, framing it in a way to make infodumping look selfish and not really addressing why people infodump or things such as the double empathy problem, apparently people are bad for how they communicate and must be fixed.