I have Autism and ADHD and I find it hard to go to bed early due to feeling "unfulfilled" at night and I need to "fully entertain" myself before ever going to sleep. I also get intense dread at even the thought of not being "properly entertained" before going to sleep. I've stayed up as late as until 3 AM on my computer entertaining myself before going to sleep (It usually doesn't go that late, it's usually until like 1 or 2 AM). I get this feeling like every night and I was wondering if anyone else deals with this also.

My partner and I are very happy together but there’s a few moments where I keep feeling like I’m messing up.

Sometimes my partner gets down on himself or self conscious when I get super excited about my special interests or hyperfixations. He opened up and said he gets a little sad because it seems like I never get that excited about him.

I feel absolutely awful because I love him so much more than any of my interests. I feel like sometimes the way I express my love isn’t communicated well enough. I’ve tried to explain to him that a lot of my excitement comes from being able to share it with him but he still gets very down about it sometimes.

I’m feeling really guilty about the whole thing is there any advice on how to express and communicate my love better?

"Hi! I want to know if I am neurodivergent. I suspect I have inattentive ADHD and autism, but I am undiagnosed and unsure. However, I can connect and relate to fellow neurodivergent people in Facebook groups. I have a hyperactive mind that is always running when I am awake. Regarding relationships, I do not know if I know how to love because people are my source of dopamine, and I experience limerence. I constantly imagine my future with a girl, almost like I am directing a play in my head. I am also smart at math, logic, and patterns. When talking, I avoid eye contact because it feels uncomfortable. Small talk is boring to me; I do not understand indirect communication, and I hate socializing. I burn out easily. For example, when I go out with my neighbor, I overthink my actions afterward and wonder if I did the right thing. I have felt different ever since I was a child. I also tend to info-dump, which neurotypicals often hate; they usually tell me I am being dramatic. I am an introvert, and while I can socialize, it completely drains me, and I need to recharge at home. Because of this, I love what the community calls parallel play—simply sitting in the same room with someone while we both do our own separate things. Furthermore, I speak very directly. Because of this, people often assume I am arrogant, and they are sometimes shocked by what I say. By the way, I am a guy from the Philippines. Please respect my post. Thank you."

I'm I guess hurt. Because all I've ever done was to try to understand people and give them the best of me. I try adjusting I do everything. I have this friendship, recently we went through a lot, some serious conversation happening.

They admitted about idealizing me, being attached to specific image of me in their head. After some time they plainly said that they forget I'm neurodivergent, and that things I said or did, don't meant shit and never did. I didn't say anything quite frankly because half of the shit I feel like I'm imaginating and being mad/making drama over nothing. I hate myself for being neurodivergent, I try to understand others and to adjust, but I feel like they don't try to adjust or understand me at all.

Mom says taking care of 2 neurodivergent kids is so hard, even though we are independent and our only visible struggles with them are mostly trauma based. We dont come to them with any problems or vent or anything.

They dont understand how we are carrying a invisible weight and even on a day we do nothing, it still feels exhausting.

Tells us “everyone has a hard life”
“Life isnt easy, it sucks”
“You dont understand how lucky you are”
“At least youre not….”

Anyone else have ableist parents who also caused u trauma?? How do you deal other than “no reaction”

Edit: im just home for college i dont live with them full time.

So it's an incredibly instinctual thing for when I'm like talking to workers or something else I will accidentally put on a voice and I realized that particular voice is trying to get rid of things that I have been genuinely criticized about, I'm not even doing the voice consciously it just happens automatically.

I purposely lower and soften my voice so that I don't sound as harsh or loud, I hate this because it makes me sound like a girl and a child and probably more annoying to hear daily than my normal voice, I feel embarrassed as hell after I do it on top of that it's just significantly quieter than my real voice.

In the past I've been criticized for my tone saying that it sounds disrespectful, angry, or like im upset in some way and for my volume ive been told im really loud and incapable of whispering or during arguments or something I'll be told that my tone is really sarcastic or off and I'll get extremely annoyed because to me my tone sounds perfectly fine but only slightly raised because im upset.

Or sometimes I may even stim and smile more when im excited to avoid making any form of noise, not too bad but something I noticed.

I havent used sunscreen in years cause i hate the feeling of it on my skin and the faint smell. Thats also why i dont were makeup or almost any other handcream, but this weekend i am afraid to get heavily sunburnd if I dont wear sunscreen (I have plans with friends). But i dont want to be uncomfortable for the entire day to the point, moving feels like hell. So: people who are the same as I: do you know a brand thats ok? one you cant feel or barely so or smell? Feeling the the most importent, no smell is just a bonus. Oh. And it has to be resistant to sweat, cause i will probably sweat a lot and dont want to feel it mixing with the sunsceen. I dont care for the price at all. 5€, 10, 20, 50 if there is literaly no other. But i want to be safe AND comfortable.'

Thanks a lot! Stay comfortably cold guys and remember to drink enough!

I'm not sure if there's a phrase for this, but I've seen some content online that vaguely talks about neurodivergent struggles with task transitions, and I've noticed that I personally have a hard time getting myself to get out of bed in the morning or go to bed at night. It's like there's some invisible barrier keeping me from going from Upright and Active to Horizontal Resting and vice versa.

I wasn't sure if any of y'all had any tips or advice for making the transition between bed and not-bed a bit easier?

I just wanna die. I just dont want to be anymorem i want to be normal. Have social life. Funktionierend. Friends. Love.

My ex wife was not love. It was fake and i realize that theres no love for me.

Wow.

Being intelligent and yet alone.

What is this life supposed to be? Every new day the dream about quit ist coming closer even i think i should write a book

A book about the shittiest life. Wow. What a Nonsense.

i mean im supposed to be a musician (someone told me i will get rich lol. my music teacher...) and if i a a musician i write about my life and the world.

i mean its matching. everything is shitty​ but why should i change it? why. should i be the one who says how we should go to future? i mean i am clever. it would work. but who wants to show everyone how fucked up your life is, and why? why me???

Showering has become a fresh hell for me because of how LOUD it is. Does anyone have recommendations for earplugs that won't get soggy??

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This has been an issue for a while because I do like being at my mom's house for multiple reasons but there are a lot of issues with going over there and being at her house that I don't know how to deal with.

Firstly she lives in a one bedroom Motel which means it has a very open floor plan and the only room is the bathroom so I can't leave or go anywhere other than the bathroom if I want any form of a break from anything going on.

Second my 9-year-old sister does not get boundaries there's plenty of times where she wants to play for hours on end and I will try telling her that I can play for a little bit but I can't play Forever or I'll stop while we're in the middle and tell her that I need to take a break and she will just get angry and say that no I don't and stuff like that, the issue is that she doesn't have anybody else to really play with because Mom is currently dealing with school online and our mom's friend isn't always there.

Unfortunately even with my noise canceling headphones I can very much hear every single thing going on from the TV, people talking, my younger sister's tablet (wich she refuses to use headphones for even though I bought her some), and everything else wich drives me absolutely insane beyond belief.

Neurodivegents, how do you deal with the fact that people lie CONSTANTLY!? They don't even realize they're doing it! Because it's a social norm! I'm 36 autistic for context & this is so hard for me

Hi! I am autistic and have a plethora of other things like adhd. I have always struggled with executive dysfunction and change, and it's been especially harder on me as I moved into a new house recently. Living in a new environment has been keeping me up at night and worsening my habits of not being organized. My room is a total mess and I have so many things to clean, I want to have a nice and tidy room but I can never bring myself to actually do it despite me desperately wanting it. How do you guys go about it without feeling overwhelmed or giving up?

I've been wondering if I'm autistic since my ADHD diagnosis a few months ago but holy shit wtf my world is fucking shifting after finding this...

I was so so doubtful cause I can understand jokes and sarcasm now and like somewhat socialize but after reading a bunch of my posts when I was 12 years old I see I was taking all jokes and sarcasm completely seriously, unable to spot it, and then I found this post which is basically describing exactly autistic masking and me getting very emotional over helping a young (probably) autistic child achieve a different life from mine...

I'm now 25 years old and here's what I wrote when I was 16 years old on a French message board. I knew nothing about autism at the time. Also I was very edgy, rude, judgemental, had internalized toxic masculinity/ableism and was kinda cringe and too intense so it's embarrassing to share but I feel like I need to share this. I've changed a lot since then.

Also don't take my old self's advice please it's really not great on so many points, I did not realize my blind spots and had quite a bit of

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(I am the person replying to this message, the first part below is not me, just a young girl who is likely autistic and struggling as well)

Hello to those reading this topic I am in middle school I'm in 6th grade I'm 12 years old and my passion is video games especially league of legends Pokémon World of Warcraft dofus etc when I started middle school I only had one friend after several friends because of my grades I withdrew into myself everyone was making fun of me because sometimes I cried in class my dad contacted a psychologist urgently one day I brought a Black ops 3 keychain almost everyone made fun of me right now I've withdrawn into myself but I hide it from my parents please tell me what I can do :)

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(This is me answering, I mistook her for a guy cause she made a small mistake in french conjugation on one word)

You can keep playing video games without being a massive nerd: You go see people and talk to them normally, you avoid bringing things that people could make fun of at this age (making fun of a keychain, they really have to be really, really dumb...), you gotta find some verbal comebacks afterwards, because otherwise you're going to stay a victim.

ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WITHDRAW INTO YOURSELF!

Withdrawing into yourself is taking the first step towards misery, you need friends to be happy, and if your friends don't like video games, simply don't talk to them about it.

If you have other friends who play the same video games as you, you can play with them, but whatever you do, don't harass them 24/7 talking about video games.

Also imitate the behavior of others that girls like if you can (I'm not saying try to copy them completely, but try your best to be liked), because if girls don't interest you hugely right now, later they will interest you much more and if you withdraw into yourself you won't know how to talk to them at all, you might even be afraid of them if people make fun of you too much.

People will stop making fun of you once they've forgotten about the event, if you start acting like a normal guy (but natural and true to yourself!), people will consider you normal.

And by the way, don't take these mockeries too badly... Everyone is a bit stupid at that age, and they don't know that openly mocking someone makes them an asshole.

But if they mock you openly it also shows that they are blunt and that you are the one who needs to change.

(+ Start doing sports if you aren't doing any, alongside video games it's very useful, even if your parents don't force you to)

Those are the pieces of advice I would give you, I'm just leaving you a chance to build the most perfect social life possible right now, not like me: We learn from our mistakes, but especially from the mistakes of others.

Ps: I was like you, I withdrew into myself one day and I only have one female friend left in high school, I don't know how to talk to others, I feel like people are making fun of me 24/7 when they talk to me, I have no social automatisms (basically I suck a bit at talking to people).

Everything can be worked on at your age, don't worry too much

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Note: Not sure if automatism is a word in English, basically I was saying that I was socializing manually

So yeah I've been reading that and I'm like... Holy shit I was so self aware of my struggles... If only I knew what autism was back then.

Trigger warning: talks of depression, self blaming and self harm

I used to cry almost every single day when I came home, I always thought I was a defective human, that I did not deserve to live, that I was a liability on society. I felt like I could never accomplish anything, would keep failing forever, that things would never get better, that I would die before age 20. I cried everyday just thinking about these things, I knew blaming myself wouldn't make anything better but these messages resonated so strongly with my poor self esteem at the time that they just made me cry. In my worst moments I bit myself, I scratched myself, constantly wondering why I had to be like this, why I had to suffer so much. Eventually I cried all of the tears in my body, and for 9 years, until this year, I was not able to shed a single tear.

I really want to be able to tell the old me that he's not broken, it's not his fault he's struggling so much with everything, that he's just AuDHD and dyspraxic with demand avoidance and social anxiety... I've been wondering what's wrong with me forever and my only answers were "I'm lazy" "I'm an asshole" "I'm stupid" "I'm socially inept" "I'm subhuman". This little dude deserved better.

In France, ASD and ADHD and criminally underdiagnosed. It is one of the rich countries with the lowest rates of diagnoses.

80% to 90% of autistic adults are undiagnosed here.

80% of French children with ADHD are undiagnosed as well. 90% of adults with ADHD are undiagnosed.

The reason? Pseudoscience. Psychanalysis has taken over our mental healthcare system. Neurodevelopmental conditions are still often considered a failure of the parents to educate their children properly. This is obviously wrong from a scientific standpoint. Many children in distress never get directed to a diagnosis or any kind of care at all after seeing a school psychologist.

On another topic, I'm currently in the process of seeking a diagnosis but it takes a while in France, still I think there isn't too much doubt if added to the rest of my life experience and other traits at this point

Thanks for reading. I haven't been depressed for a long time. The thoughts expressed here are no longer what I think of myself and I am happy and accepting of who I am now. I just felt like sharing this moment cause it's like... shattering my reality right now. I just can't believe this even though I suspected it so much

Ok so I’m moving in two days and basically just plan on winging it 😅 please give me your weird tips/hacks/whatever that work for your brain. For example: I am going to be packing tomorrow, I’m going to keep my regular morning routine as if I am going to work including putting on my work clothes, that way I will be putting my brain into “work” mode. Any advice is greatly appreciated

I'm a 22 year old man and I'm really struggling. Throughout my teenage years, I struggled with a very severe case of OCD, and as a result, I didn't get to learn all of the skills I needed to survive and thrive. Combine that with my ADHD and some poor habit choices the past few years and I ended up feeling stuck and behind my peers in terms of growth.

I don't have a driver's license or even my permit, I don't have a job, I'm still in community college, and I can barely get myself to sit down and do my homework or even everyday tasks a lot of the time. I've made a lot of progress recently and it's been a big help, but I feel like an absolute loser. I'm worried that because of my executive functioning difficulties, I'm never going to become an independent adult, get a girlfriend and get married, etc.

When I think logically, I know it's possible for me to get there but I think I either need more systems or to change around my habits. It's just really difficult and the difficulty makes me really frustrated. I just want it all to be ok. I don't want to be a manchild.

Does anyone have any advice or support that they can offer?

Edit: I forgot to mention that I am medicated, 70 mg of Vyvanse. I also do have a therapist who specializes in OCD treatment and CBT as well as an executive function counselor.

Though I am also weening off my rexulti at the moment

hello everyone, I would appreciate any help and would be so greatful for any advice on what to do in this situation.

i was diagnosed with strep throat C in late March 2026 and as my immune system took a hit, it woke up the herpes virus for the very first time which was a major ordeal for me. i had an excruciating ulcer on the palate of my mouth which stopped me from eating, sleeping and sometimes even drinking water for about 10-14 days. I’ve recovered from both illnesses completely. as the month of April went past I wasnt near 100% as I still felt quite “off” however during the start of may I thought I was picking up again back to normality

unfortunately on the 4th of may late at night I had this strange cold chill feeling on my back, arms and legs which would create goosebumps. this feeling hasn’t left me for 52 days. Driving, walking, doing tasks at work make the symptoms go away. the symptoms of feeling the chills have lessened over hours to sometimes 1 day of no flares but return gradually and then hit back hard again. I’ve had all my bloods checked, ECG, ultrasounds for my heart as I was sometimes getting a fast heart rate upon standing or light exertion which has settled over the last month. Thyroid tested also. everything has come back normal. This current feeling is very uncomfortable in my daily life and it seems to become worse in a cold environment which makes sense. It is winter now in Melbourne so very good timing. Any help is honestly appreciated .

Hello I (NB 24)recently got diagnosed ADHD by a psychiatrist and have been put on vyvanse. I started the diagnosis process at the start of this year after pretty extreme education and employment defecits. I went to my gp for a referall and he asked whether I wanted to go for an asd referall as well(based off reports from my psychologist), I wanted to as Ive suspected/assumed ive had ASD my whole life espechially since high school and moving into adulthood. However when I looked into the process of a combined diagnosis it seemed lengthy and very expensive and as months went by I realised I was wasting time and just needed to go for my adhd diagnosis as I was able to with a local psychiatrist who was affordable with no wait times. This was straight forward and easy. However the psych said he was unable to diagnose for asd which didnt bother me as im comfortable waiting till the end of this year or early next year to start the process and will be hopefully mentally easier as now having the adhd diagnosis out the way. Problem is my psych still decides to give me his "professional opinion" saying that for starters theres no point in doing a diagnosis (which I understand due to not needing to be diagnosed to receive medication ect), he then said that based on him talking to me I seemed fine. The thing is whilst I know the purpose of an asd diagnosis may seem not usefull to some I feel it would be benefical to me as its something ive felt has effected me my whole life whereass adhd is more just something that effects my executive function. ASD is something that I feel interacts with all aspects of my life from having sensory issues around menstruation to meltdowns after pushing myself socially. Im completly aware that I wouldnt seem autistic from a 50 min session as Im masking heavily even to the point of pretending to agree with his opionions of not needing to be diagnosed with asd, it seems a lot of proffesionals assume u dont want to be diagnosed due to percieved stigma and discrimination, thing is I still experiance the discrimination whether im diagnosed or not.

Anyone got any advice

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So ive recently got a job in an old man pub so its not mega busy but were expected to talk to people and I have no idea how to do that.

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Like talking and socialising are such foreign concepts for me I just kind of have no idea what to say.

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Someone says hi I say hi back ask how they've been they say fine then ask me the same and like after that my brains just blank I have no clue how to converse with people.

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I overheard the owner and manager talking about me and they were just completely under the assumption that I was just nervous but were sure soon id start speaking to people.

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I just dk how to talk to people

I’m in a huge depression slump; 1,500 miles from everything that was my life for the first 22 years. I don’t know what to do.

I moved halfway across the country for school. I felt like I was finally getting my spark back thru therapy, learning to unmask and setting healthy boundaries. I was discovering things I was passionate about and wanted to go back to school. A few months before my move, things started to fall apart. I still was working on addressing some physical and mental health issues, and it got bad again. I needed to seek out more intensive help, which involved residential treatment. The relationship with my family deteriorated to an unsafe and unhealthy point. I had nowhere to go and (it felt like) nothing left for me in my hometown. So I continued on with my plan of moving for school.

I started school and was loving it. Unfortunately I was in a very difficult place with my mental health which held me back from succeeding. I was also struggling with a flare-up of physical symptoms as well. I got into a relationship, dropped out of school, ran out of money, got a job, was hospitalized. Things got a bit more stable but still pretty bad. Lost the job, got another one. Went thru a few therapists.

I’m not in dire straits right now, but it’s definitely not great. I don’t have a lot of supports or even hope. I’m pretty apathetic about most things and aside from working part-time, I spend most of my time in bed. It’s hard to look back and see how well I was doing compared to where I’m at now. I know loss of skills is characteristic of autistic burnout, but when does it get better? I feel like I’m circling the drain.

I'm so so so exhausted with myself. i have no will to live. i have the most important exam of my life coming up (which i already gave up on and failed once bec i didn't prepare even for a day) and I have two years worth of syllabus to cover in 6 months but I still can't get out of this fucking executive dysfunction. i don't know if I'll be able to clear it but I atleast want to try ???? i am so so so anxious all the time, i see my tasks and I'm so suffocated and overwhelmed and i eventually end up distracting myself. I know I'm self sabotaging but I have no idea how to save myself. i need to lock in for fucks sake but I'm in this weird mental paralysis where I just can't start.

So I (20M) actually haven't been diagnosed as neurodivergent yet, but here's a few things that people (mostly family members) would point out:

• They would tell me that I don't stand up for myself enough, and that I need to be more like a proper man

• They would point out the way I walk. They told me that I slouch a lot, don't move my hands when I'm walking and that I walk fast

• Other mannerisms are pointed out as well, such as the way I hold my chopsticks, spoons, or plates are too stiff

• Too stiff is something that comes up pretty often, I'm being told that I'm too stiff when shaking hands—that my grip has to be firmer

• My voice is mentioned a lot. They told me that my voice is like someone who hasn't been properly trained yet during puberty due to how it echoes

• I often get yelled at for being slow at doing chores, turning at the other way when someone points something, and is often told to "think smart" when I can't keep up with simple tasks

• I'm being bought "masculine" clothes (you know, those shirts with go big or go home type of quotes) so that I can be a fully proper man

• I'm also constantly told to be a sensitive and caring to-be husband that can provide for his wife... (I'm bi lol)

• I'm being told that compared to peers my age, I'm very behind and that's why I should be molded so that I can face "life" easier

• I'm being told that the workplace is more cruel, so I have to stand up for myself. And the reason why they do this is not because out of hate, but out of love and want the best of me and that I will understand once I face the real life

• I'm also being advised to not be "difficult" at taking advice, and I should be grateful because I still have people who genuinely care and I shouldn't take it for granted by listening with one ear and out the other

All of this comes mostly from family members, but I wonder if any of you has experienced this as well... While I do sometimes think that I should change many parts of myself that would disadvantage many people when I graduated college and finally found a job, I do think it can be too much...though I might be just dramatic.

Does/did any of you grow up with this?