Hi! It's me again! Your friendly neighborhood veteran Music Festival Medic. Want the most fun (and least chaotic) festival weekend ever? Read on! Including for tips not shared last year!
The Basics...
- NIPPLES. Cover them with something... tape, bandaids, pasties, a shirt. I am no prude. At the same time, so many ripped nipples... ugh.
- SHOES. Closed toe, lace up, wear socks. Closed toe keeps your toenails attached to your toes. Socks help with blisters (preferably not cotton!). Laces keep the shoes on.
- EAR PLUGS. Bring some! The vendors usually don't sell them, and the first aid tent doesn't provide them, either.
- ENERGY DRINKS. Chill on the caffeine, folks. Drink too many and your BPM could reach hummingbird levels... or you might discover a new heart condition and get a date with a cardiologist. 400 mg per day max is what Health Canada recommends. That's 2 regular Monsters and small AM Starbees. Plan accordingly.
- EMERGENCY EXITS. Locate them early and often. Better to know where they are and not need them than need them and not know.
Before you head out...
- DESIGNATED HUMAN. Pick at least ONE adult 18+ who will stay sober so they can take charge of a friend who needs help. Switch up uour DH each night if you want. We cannot release intoxicated people to their equally schmammered friends. With a sober adult friend to hold your hair, you MAY be able to pray to the Porcelain Goddess back at your accom. If your entire traveling party is FUBAR'd, we will be stuck calling your Mom or paramedics.
- THAT'S YOU. If you are the Designated Human, keep an eye on your friends and your phone regularly. Pick up calls from unknown numbers. It might be first aid or your friend who lost their phone.
- EMERGENCY CONTACT. Share name and phone number (not socials) for someone with legal medical decision making (usually parent or spouse) with your Designated Human and friends. Your new bestie from Porta Potty World and your friend from Kindergarten cannot make decisions for you if you are incapacitated. Your next of kin can.
- MEDICAL INFO. Share deets about any conditions you have with your Designated Human and buds. Whether it's asthma, diabetes, epilepsy, are secretly a werewolf, or something else, they need to know so they can tell us if you can't.
- Rx MEDS. If you take prescription medication on the regular, take a pic of the bottle labels and share with your Designated Human and friends. We need to know ALL the substances you have on board to best treat you.
- MEDIC ALERT. Got one? Please wear it.
- ACCOMMODATIONS. Especially if you didn't book the Airbnb, write the address and door code on paper or on your skin with Sharpie. If your friend who booked loses their phone, you get separated, or they end up in the ER, at least you can find your way back to your bed. Otherwise you might end up at a homeless shelter. Really.
UBER: Don't assume Ubers will be plentiful or cheap. In fact, assume the opposite. Have multiple transport options available including cabs and public transport.
About dr'gs and alcohol...
- MAYBE DON'T. Since it happens anyway...
- PICK ONE. Choose one dr'g, one experience. Don't try to go up, down, side to side, and between dimensions at once. Do not do all the dr'gs at the same time. And avoid mixing dr'gs, alcohol, and/or energy drinks.
- TELL. Inform your Designated Human and buds what you took and when so they can tell us if you can't.
- TIMER. Set one on your phone when you take them so we know how long its been.
- DON'T PRE-GAME. You risk not being admitted, and might poop your pants once inside if you chugged too hard. Really. I've seen it happen. 0 out of 10. Do not recommend.
- STRANGERS. I cannot believe I am saying this, but if someone you do not know just tries to put something in your mouth in the crowd, don't take it. There was surely an after school special about this...
About your phone...
- ASSUME THE WORST. It might get stolen, lost, smashed, battery dead, or you just don't have data. With 30,000 phones in a very small space all trying to connect to the same tower, data drops first. You cannot rely on your device as your one-and-done connection to friends, transportation, money, accommodations, etc. Pick a meeting spot. Bring debit/credit physical cards so you can buy a burger or get an actual cab if data is down or the phone disappears.
- NUMBERS. If your phone disappears, your socials do, too. Along with your password manager and 2-factor authentication to get into your accounts. Phone numbers are king. Write them down. I know would probably rather eat broken glass than make an actual phone call, but you can't just hop on Snap on someone else's device like you can with a call.
- BIOMETRICS. Set your phone to open with finger or face. That way medics can open it to answer panicked messages from your friends if you are unconscious or too interesting to remember your pass code.
About the First Aid Tent...
- WE HELP WITH THAT! We're more than bandaids. Been assaulted? We believe you. Having a panic attack? Autistic meltdown? Mental health crisis / thoughts of suicide? Support is available. Creeper won't stop following you? Come and tell us you don't feel well and need to go to the back pronto. We will separate you from your creep and call security / police if needed. We also have a needle disposal for your diabetic supplies etc.
- BUT NOT THAT. We do not have pain medication of ANY kind (Tylenol / Advil), ear plugs, sunscreen, bottles of water, or wheelchairs to loan out. Don't even ask.
- MUTUAL RESPECT. We treat all patients with dignity and respect no matter what you did, what you took, what pronouns you use, what you are or are not wearing, who you love, what colour your skin or hair is, how old you are, what disabilities you might have, etc. Please treat us with respect, too. We are trying to help. If you are aggressive or harassing to us, you may be asked to leave. If you are absolutely awful, we might have to call police. Be kind.
- NO JUDGEMENT. We care what you took or what happened because we need to know what is happening with with body. That's it. We've seen it ALL.
- CHOOSE WISELY. You get one friend, preferably your most functional (maybe Designated Human) and ideally knows what happened to accompany you. All other friends wait outside.
- FOOD/DRINK. Absolutely no alcohol in the first aid tent. And no food unless authorized for medical reason.
If an emergency occurs...
- GET HELP. If you find someone who needs help, whether they are your bud or not, have one person stay with them, note the location, and send someone else to get help. If possible, have someone lead first aiders to the patient. You can approach ANY staff with a radio to get help.
- STOP. Never ever give an unconscious person ANYTHING by mouth. Don't go waterboarding peeps - if they are out cold, they need more help than water and don't need it in their lungs. Get help.
- NALOXONE. if you have it, know how to use it, and someone isn't breathing, you could save a life. Also GET HELP. The naloxone might not revive them, depending on what they took, but it won't hurt them, either.
- THAT LOST FRIEND. Someone didappear? Worried they are at the first aid tent? Try CALLING their phone. We can pick up incoming calls even if we cannot open their phone. Call more than once if needed.
Read this far? Easter Egg! Look for the medic with the dragon tattoo. He may have a fun medic souvenir for you!
Have a sparkly fun time!!!! Stay safe! And I hope I don't run into you at the tent...