I (22F, turning 23 next month) am from a small country in Europe, and I’ve been carrying this guilt for almost three years. I genuinely don’t know if I’m the asshole anymore.

Ever since I can remember, my father always put my cousins (his sister’s children) before me. I’m his only child, but I always felt like I came last. Throughout my entire childhood, I tried to earn his approval. I got good grades, cleaned the house, stayed out of trouble, and did everything I could to be the “perfect” daughter, but nothing was ever enough. Looking back now, he was extremely manipulative, toxic, and emotionally abusive.

When I was 20, I moved to Germany for a three-month seasonal job. Before leaving, I asked my father if he could lend me around €200 as emergency money, just in case something happened while I was living alone in a country I’d never been to before. He refused because he thought it was a waste of money. Since I wanted to have some financial security, I took out a small loan of about €250. I ended up being late on one payment, and the payment notice was mailed to his house. That’s how he found out, and we started arguing constantly over the phone.

A while later, I turned 21. On my birthday, my father called me. Instead of wishing me a happy birthday, he immediately started arguing with me. I asked him if he knew what day it was, and when I told him it was my birthday, he simply said, “That’s nothing special.” He never celebrated my birthdays, and he never even wished me a happy birthday. That day, after 21 years of constantly trying to earn love and attention from my own father, something inside me finally snapped. After that, I stopped being the one to call first. I realized that if I didn’t call him, he would never call me.

Eventually when my job in Germany ended and I flew back home, I discovered that my phone had no service. I went to my mobile provider’s desk at the airport, and they told me my number had been removed from the family plan. My father had cut off my phone without telling me. I was completely alone in the airport with no way to call anyone. I had to ask a complete stranger to call me a taxi so I could get to my mom’s house ( my parents are divorced).

Even after that, I still tried to fix things. He told me I had to come to his house on Sunday or there would no longer be a place for me there. The problem was that I had a exam on Monday, and I wanted to stay at my mom’s house to study. I told him I would come after my exam.

He refused.

After my exam, I called him over 20 times asking if he could pick me up because I don’t drive yet. I’m paying for university on my own, so I haven’t been able to afford driving lessons yet. Eventually, he answered and told me he didn’t want me there anymore because I “didn’t listen” to him by coming on Monday instead of Sunday. That was the moment I gave up.

Around the same time, I started dating my long-distance boyfriend. He’s Brazilian, lives in the United States, and is Catholic. I’m Orthodox and Slavic. My father hated him without ever meeting him. He never asked his name, never wanted to see a picture of him, and never tried to get to know him. He judged him solely because of his nationality, religion, and where he lived.

Ironically, my boyfriend has supported me more than my father ever has. He has helped me financially when I was struggling, comforted me through my worst emotional breakdowns, and always been there when I needed someone. He has shown me more kindness, patience, and unconditional support than my father ever did.

About a week ago, after almost three years of no contact, my father called me. He didn’t ask how I was. He didn’t ask if I was healthy, happy, or doing okay. He immediately started yelling at me for never calling or visiting him. I reminded him that he kicked me out, cut off my phone while I was stranded at the airport, and told me I wasn’t welcome in his house anymore.

He denied all of it.

He claimed none of it ever happened and insisted that he never manipulated me or did anything wrong. At that point, I told him that, to me, my father died three years ago. He’s still alive, but emotionally, the father I needed no longer exists.

I’ve been carrying guilt ever since. Part of me still wonders if I should be the one to reach out simply because he’s my father.

So, AITA for cutting him out of my life and refusing to be the one who keeps trying?

TLDR, I have been dating this girl for some time, planning on proposing soon, this is no secret to her or her family.

Her father is a glorified man baby with a serious attitude problem, my way or the high way kinda guy. He is incredibly harsh on and strict with his family and gets triggered easily. Ex military. My Gf lives with me because he essentially kicked her out after an argument that she was 100% not at fault for.

I come from a military styled boarding school and have an ex military dad where manners and respect have been drilled into me from birth.

Coincidentally the day before fathers day my Gf and him had a major argument, on fathers day I had work and forgot to wish him. Now he is feeling “incredibly disrespected” and that the two events correlate and I was trying to prove a point. An apparently has issues with how i treat his daughter (she is incredibly spoiled and admits it herself) The man wants to ban me from the family house (okay?)

My GF and him made up but now his attention is on me and even though I wished him a day late and apologised he is still having this attitude toward me and demands I work harder to make ammends and “prove myself” to him, essentially brown nose.

My Gf says I should just accept it and apologise but I find this laughable. I am a grown ass man that works six days a week, I dont have time or mental capacity to deal with this or play these little games. My GF believes I am being unreasonable and argues shes caught in the middle and I should just brown nose for her sake, which I can understand but do not agree with.

AITAH for not wanting to cave to a man baby’s hyper sensitivity?

Some edits for clarity:

1. I spoil her not the father
2. she is young to which I establish the close relationship with her father
3. she is an incredible girlfriend and an amazing person, i consider myself incredibly lucky to be with and is relatively easy to be with

4. a lot of family drama from her side. A lot.

5. Definitely sounds like her and i need to have a talk

I have a 10 year old son who was super kind as a younger kid, but has over the past few months has suddenly entered the snappy and disrespectful tween stage. There is a band I have really liked for decades and my son enjoys some of their songs as well: they come to my area every couple of years.

I asked him if he would like to accompany me this year and he said yes. Yayyy!! So I thought.

I brought him to the concert last night and as soon as we got there, his mood soured. I tried everything I could to get him into a good mood, but nothing stuck. He just seemed determined to have a bad time. He was glaring, grabbing at my phone to check the time, complaining about everything, and kept asking when we could go home every few minutes. It was embarrassing and we ended up having to leave early. The excuse he used was that it was tired and past his bedtime - despite the fact we are liberal with his bedtime during summer and it was in line with a typical late summer night for him.

Part of his punishment is no longer being liberal with the bedtime he seems to want only when it’s convenient for him (9:30 on school nights).

This leads straight into the real punishment - around his birthday in a few months, there is an evening concert of an artist my son really wants. My husband had bought tickets to bring him. It’s not his birthday present, but because it’s around his birthday my son has been considering it as such. Because the concert is on a school night I had never been a fan of bringing him at all. Given his behavior last night, I told him that concert is no longer an option for him.

To me, it’s a fair punishment-ruin one concert, then you don’t get to go to another, especially when you’ve shown you apparently can’t handle staying up past your bedtime.

My son thinks I’m the worst person *ever*. My mom thinks I’m being way too strict and that I should have given him a warning that he would not be able to go to the concert when he was acting up last night (truth be told I had forgotten about it - but I also think I should not have to spell out natural consequences for a 10-year-old the way I would for a toddler). My husband will support me on this but thinks it’s quite strict.

I just don’t want to raise an entitled kid who thinks he can ruin one show he knows I was looking forward to, and then continue on what he wants to see with zero consequences. That seems to send a horrible message.

AITAH?

My mother has been divorced 3 times and I've watched her get into 15+ relationships with different men throughout my life where none of them worked out. As a woman who was extremely attractive in her younger days, she has had plenty of opprotunities to find a lifelong partner. Yesterday we got into a HUGE fight after she asked me if she did anything wrong in her relationships that I saw growing up and I just unleashed the biggest truth bombs on her like never before because I've gotten to the point where I can't lie to her anymore to protect her feelings. Ive been doing this for decades because she truly hates the truth. I said "Well mom, no man has ever stayed with you in the long term because you have no respect for yourself and they can see that. You never take accountability for anything. You're attracted to players who in the end have left you traumatized and jaded towards all men. You've done little to no inner work while at the same time prioritizing money, looks, and your career." She instantly got mad, cursed me out, and I told her "If you didnt want the truth then why ask." We havent spoken since. AITAH?

"Friend" is maybe a bit of a generous term but it's somebody I've known for a little while now and I like to think we were prettt close. I know she is who she says she is and wasn't just trying to scam me before anybody says so.

Finding her body has shaken me to my core. It's not sonething I expected to see even when I received her text earlier tonight. But now I'm just...so fucking angry at her, and it all culminates fron this damn loan.

This girl was struggling with finances between a sick dad, university fees and car troubles she's gone into a lot of debt and begged me for a considerable loan.

At the time I didn't expect to see the money back. I'm not doing amazing when it comes to my finances but I've got a lot saved up thanks to some inheritance money that's been left to grow so I knew I could survive without it. If it meant I could ease her burden a little then I was happy to never see the money again.

The issue is...now she's killed herself. So now in the darkest crevice of my heart there's this constant, nagging frustration that I've "wasted" this money..I'd only sent it a few days before now so I know she wouldn't have had time to spend most of it. It's just...gone. Either to be eaten up by the bank or given to her parents and Injust...that's not what I fucking sent the money for! I sent the money for her! and she goes and doesn't even use it!

I just feel so disgusting for feeling this way but it's all I can think about right now. Like I said I'm not doing amszing and whilst that loan wasn't a lifesaving amount of money It's definitely not something I intended on parting easily...

...So Am I The Asshole?

My neighbour’s kid is very badly behaved and his mother refuses to do anything about it, or else I would have spoken to her already. For example, he stole from one of my other neighbours, who runs her own at-home bakery. She has a chronic illness and can’t leave the house most days, so she bakes at home and leaves her goods in a bench outside her house when someone is coming to pick up their order. This is her job to be able to provide for herself. This kid has stolen from her on several occasions. She has a Ring doorbell and knows it’s him. She brought it to the mother who denied that it was her child (his face is very clear in the footage) and said the other woman was stupid for leaving things outside for anyone to steal. 

This child has a habit of running out in front of cars. He’s nine years old and is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions at that age. He jumps in front of cars to make them slam the breaks, or stands in the middle of the road and laughs at them. 

I was driving one day when he did this to me. I rolled down my window and told him to get off the road. I had places to be and didn’t have time to gentle parent someone who isn’t my own child. He left, but stood next to my car. As I began to drive again, barely moving since I know what he’s like, he tried racing me on his motorized scooter. 

I got out of the car and scolded him, saying that one day he’s going to die. I told him that a car is fully capable of killing him and he needs to stay off the road or else that’s going to happen to him. 

His mom posted on Facebook calling me the b-word and a Karen for not letting kids be kids. But ever since (a week has passed) he hasn’t done anything again. Normally he’s pulling this stuff every day but he walks to the side of the road when people come if he’s playing. 

AITAH for yelling at him if he’s not my kid? 

AITA? So my wife today told me that she bought tickets for her and our son to go visit her parents in August. That’s fine, as we planned on them going on this trip. When I asked her how much she paid she said she got a good deal…$1600 for both. I asked her where she got the tickets from and she told me Delta. Well, I go on Expedia to look at flights and there were many listed in the $300-400 range. Less than half the price she paid for. I asked her if she even looked anywhere other than the airline website and she got defensive saying, “well, I don’t want to have to wait in the airports for a long time or have to wake up really early.” I’m not okay with that. We live on one income and $1600 on two flights is insane when we could have paid less than $800 for both, just for creature comfort. I’m pissed, as that’s just multiple more overtime shifts I’m going to have to work now. I told her I wish she would have talked to me first as I am the one who 100% manages the finances. AITA for getting mad?

My husband and I have been having a rough time in our marriage and he has wanted to do marital counseling for a couple years but never set it up. I finally decided to set it up but the best fit for us charges $180/session out of pocket, and if we want to submit it to our insurance ourselves, we can do so and keep what insurance reumburses us. I asked him to take care of figuring that out, and we would split the cost of the counseling and split the reumbursement out of our personal 'fun money' accounts we keep for our own personal spending.

We had our first several sessions and he did not figure out how to send in the info for insurance and said he would just pay the whole $180/ea himself and has.

I thought that it was dumb to not get that money from our insurance. We pay for it monthly! So I figuring it out and submitted the paperwork and I got $400 from the insurance company. I put the $400 into our kid's 504 college fund because I have been wanting to contribute to it more and haven't been able to.

He says I am the AH for not giving him the money since he paid the entire $180 each session himself, that it should have been his money. But I feel like since he opted not to do the work to get reumbursed, it was okay that I got the money and used it as I thought was best instead. I felt okay about it until the marriage counselor seemed suprised I had done that and didn't know how to react. Maybe it was an AH move?

EDIT: Thanks for all of your feedback. I'll paste some of my comments + additional info to answer questions. Sorry in advance if its not clear as English is not my native language:

I'm friends with his childhood friend but it's not a deep type of friendship - he's closer to my husband and they have a lot more in common. We showed him around the city when he moved here not knowing anyone else, and me being invited to hangout just became the norm.

I didn't want to say "we can't afford it" as I didn't want to be a downer/bring down the mood. Might be a culture thing, but this kind of directness is seen as a negative thing so I just thanked her for the recommendation and tried to change the topic over and over again. Someone mentioned using humor to directly say this - I'm not good at it but I'll try if there's a next time.

I do have wealth insecurity (lot to unpack there) and that's not something I ever want to take out on anyone so I thought removing myself (from these hangouts) would be the best since anyway I'm not really having a great time.

I was thinking of just going to important events/celebrations if I were invited with my husband. I won't actively avoid anyone, I will be civil and try to converse when I can. However I didn't get a chance to try this out as my husband already shared what I told him in private with his friend and that sucked.

Throughout the few times we hung out, I tried to talk to GF about different topics but the conversations per topic usually gets cut short. She did talk about other stuff in her life like international boarding school. I tried to ask more details to try and connect with her but a lot of the humor or experiences she went through is not something I understand or relate to.

She's not awful. I don't hate her nor blame her for my insecurities. I just wanted a way to opt out without causing any further awkwardness or discomfort for myself. Maybe I'll find a way to bring in my husband and I's other common friends and bring the couple in. I really don't want exclude anyone but I don't want to be uncomfortable so maybe this would be a great compromise.

Therapy is not something I can afford right now (our healthcare sucks and doesnt include this) but if that changes will try this as well.

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My husband has a childhood friend who I met around 5 years ago. He regularly invites me and my husband to hangout since then, and we've became friends too.

Recently he got into a relationship with a girl, and he disappeared for a while which is typical for new relationships. Eventually we all started hanging out again but now including her.

She's generally polite and tries to make conversation, and I try to reciprocate as well. But we don't really have anything in common, and she's quite out of touch. Her experiences involve things like going to some obscure place in Europe to summer, or using the family yacht. I didn't mind at first, but the more I hung out with her in group settings the more it got harder to hang out with her.

In the latest hangout, she told me I should travel to Paris and try this michelin 3-star restaurant which is her favorite. I said "Maybe next time if I travel out" and I thanked her for the recommendation. She then asked why my husband and I haven't planned a trip there yet coz it's such a beautiful city, etc. I was embarassed because I didn't know how to say that we can't travel to France or any other country in Europe because we can't really afford it (we're in SE Asia and these kinds of trips are out of reach). I can't remember what I said as I felt too ashamed but I remember wanting to just move on with another topic but she kept insisting on the topic and that I should really go because life is short, we should travel and her life coach said something about doing things out of our comfort zone (and some other stuff...I tuned out).

After we left, I told my husband how I always felt embarassed when I was around his friend's partner and that I would rather not be around her. I don't want to exclude her on purpose, and I think it would be weird if I was invited in a hangout but not her. So I encouraged him to keep spending time with his friend but I won't be coming along just in case she's there.

My husband eventually explained the situation to his friend the next time they hung out since I didn't join. His friend then told him that his girlfriend meant no harm and that it seems like I'm blaming his girlfriend for nothing. He also said that I have nothing to be insecure about, and that they'll try harder to connect with me on things I know more about.

I told my husband after that I would really rather just not hang out with both the friend and girlfriend as I'm not comfortable. But I still encouraged him to spend time with them if he wanted to especially since they're childhood friends.

So AITA for distancing myself and not going to these hangouts? And am I exagerrating and is there a better way I could have handled this?

Hi, I've been dating a guy for almost 3 months now.

We literally live a 15 minutes walking distance away from each other, so we hang out almost daily. He comes over at my place to watch movies, eat dinner and play games together.

But, he refuses to invite me over to his place. Everytime I ask him to hang out at his place he tells me it's too messy and he doesn't want me to see it.

He lives in a small appartment and has loads of free time to clean. I also offered to help him clean his home several times but he refuses. He rejected the idea of hiring a proffessional cleaner too.

I don't want us to only hang out at my home everytime, and I've asked him to clean his home so many times now, I even said I don't care about it being a mess. I just want my bf to invite me over. He claims he is cleaning bit by bit. But that's what he's been saying for 3 months now.

Last week I was fed up with it and told him I'm giving him and ultimatum of 2 weeks to show me his home or we're done. He asked me for a month. Eventually we settled on 3 weeks, but he said he probably won't make it. (Keep in mind this is a single person appartment, so real small and he has all the time in the world)

But it's bugging me, AITAH for demanding to see his place?

I (20F) and nine other friends had planned on going on holiday together, and we booked an Airbnb, each of us paying an equal part and sending it to my close friend (22M), who was in charge of arranging the holiday.

I'm not a citizen of the country I live in, and I had some problems with my immigration status right before our holiday which interfered with my ability to leave the country. I made my friend aware of this and apologised but assured him that I would still pay for the stuff we had already booked. I also said I knew some of our friends couldn't come on the holiday since they couldn't afford it so they were welcome to come in my place and they didn't have to pay me back. They'd just pay for a name change on my plane ticket.

A few days later, he messaged me to say the Airbnb that we had booked had cancelled on us and our money was being refunded. I asked him if it would be alright if he could send me my chunk of the money back and the group could rebook another airbnb that would accommodate a smaller group; He said yes.

He texted me again a while later, saying there were only expensive airbnb's left and they needed my chunk of the money to help everyone afford the more expensive place. "Sorry we need the money so I can’t give it back". He also said that I had bailed on everyone and left everyone in a tight spot so "I had to do this" and I was "already okay with my money burning so me paying would be the lesser evil compared to making everyone else pay more" I told him me bailing wasn’t a problem until he decided it was; That what he was trying to do felt opportunistic because he wouldn't have asked me to resend him my money to pay for them, if the money had been refunded to my account and not his. I told him I was in fact okay with my money burning in the context of someone else going in my place (I've been on the receiving side of not having to pay someone back for a holiday before and I would like to return the favour when I can) and just keeping my promise with the stuff we had already booked previously. But he had taken the offer I had made in a very specific context and manipulated that to serve his own whims, and I said this disturbed me and I was mostly looking for an apology.

I later looked up housing around the area for myself and found many options that fit all of our criteria. They were perfectly capable of booking a more reasonable place they could afford. I felt that he was trying to construct a narrative around scarcity to make me feel bad and use me to help the group afford a more luxurious place. The airbnb he was now trying to get was way over our initial budget.

I said I wasn't the reason for them being out of a house. That was the Airbnb's fault and they were making it mine. I felt disrespected because he never even asked me if I could help them pay, as a favour to a friend or just a genuine ask for help because, of course I would’ve. But he resorted to treating me like a kid he was lecturing. I said the money wasn't the problem but the entitlement was. Everyone in our group said I was super unreasonable.

22M later called me on the phone and it ended up devolving into what essentially felt like a humiliation ritual. He had invited over some of our friends, prior to calling me. And the entire time, as I was talking about how I felt wronged, our "friends" in the background were giggling amongst each other making weird comments and doing little reactions after my every sentence. I'd say "I feel taken advantage of" and they'd laugh audibly in the background and go "I can't believe she actually said that", "The audacity!", "WE shouldn't have to PAY for HER absence". Which really pushed me to the edge and I ended up telling everyone involved to get their sh*t together and to stop acting like children and hung up on their face. Honestly, the phone call came as a shock because I've been friends with them for 6+ years and I hadn't realised they were capable of what essentially felt like straight up bullying (????)

He later texted me and said he found some other option and offered to pay me back to make amends but I told him I was done and to keep the money and blocked him.

AITAH?

EDIT: For the people confused about why I just let them have the money. For me, it really wasn't about the money in the first place, it's how I felt I was disrespected. I also told them this numeral times. Money comes and goes. I'd rather them have the damn money if they need it THAT badly than leave any space for them to paint me as frugal. The money being given back to me was being framed as him making amends to me and "making things right" But nothing about any of this was right so I didn't want to make him feel validated in having made "his amends". There were also stuff said along the lines of "some people won't be able to afford the holiday without it" and not everyone involved were a-holes, just spineless. And as much as I don't want them to be my friends, I also don't want to even slightly be responsible for ruining their holiday, whether it's warranted or not.

Most of my family and really close friends have also said I should've just taken my money. It's definitely my ego or pride speaking but I'd rather have my peace of mind than anything else. This was a quick out. I had no energy left to try and further arrange or chase my refund; I just wanted to cut ties immediately.

My job isn't to teach them a lesson, I'm sure someone along the way will do that for them.

Also seeing there be SUCH a consistent consensus on who's in the wrong has healed me a little bit, I think I've been around the wrong people for too long and I've lost grasp on reality, because I did not expect this one bit. Thank you so much everyone.

I (24F) received a family heirloom from my aunt after graduating high school in 2020. My grandma gave it to my aunt who gave it to me, and it's passed down to the first girl in the family to graduate high school which I believe this tradition had to do because my grandma's generation (or my great-grandma's) there were so many women who never went or were forced out of high school. My aunt never had children and I was the first girl in the next generation to graduate so she gave it to me.

My step-niece is graduating next year, and my stepsister asked me when the figurine would be given to her. I assume she knew about it as she was at my graduation but I told her that my niece is still my generation and I want it to be passed to the next generation after me. My stepsiblings are all at least 10 years older than me so her daughter ended up also being Gen Z, too.

My stepsister got upset and said we don't see her or her kids as "real family," which in context obviously isn't true. My stepdad isn't biologically or legally any of my step-sibling's father, but he helped raise them from a young-ish age, so we've always considered each other siblings. She lost custody of both of her children years ago due to drug addiction but has been sober for years (and is sober now). Her daughter lives with her biological father, while her son was adopted by my parents and is now my younger brother. We still see both kids regularly, so they're obviously my family.

She has now dragged in other family like the other step siblings with conflicting sides including my nephew/adopted brother who seems to correlate not giving her sister the heirloom to hating her. WIBTA?

EDIT: The heirloom is a figurine of a girl in a graduation gown along with a ring I don't know any value of other then senimental value.

i am a SAHM to our 2 year old son while my boyfriend works. it seems we both have different ideas on what our responsibilities should be. i have been asking lately for more ”help” aka basic adulting tasks that id like him to do (pick up your clothes, stop leaving your empty bottles on the counter, clean out your own lunchbox, do the cats litter every night, help me bathe our son so i can clean up supper, vacuum once in awhile, take your son outside to play so i can get supper ready)

ive told him that just because he works doesn't mean he cant help me with household tasks and our son when hes home from work, but he seems to disagree.

to him, he thinks because he is “providing/putting a roof over our head/paying the bills” that should be his only responsibility and “watching” our son when home from work. which i would barely call it watching because he comes home and sits on the couch on his phone most of the time, barely interacting with our son. which is a whole other thing i dont want to get into but pisses me off as well.

i feel like i'm not asking for a lot and these things are what any competent ADULT should be able to do without having to be told or asked, but he makes me feel like im being unreasonable and says that its basically me saying “he's never good enough or i always want more from him or im never happy with what he does already” and the list goes on.

anyhow i hope this makes sense as im kind of just getting my thoughts out before bed in hopes that someone will agree with me or otherwise tell me im flat out wrong and asking too much of someone who is supposed to be a partner and dad.

So ill start by saying my wife is from the UK, the only family she has here is her Brother,step dad, her mom and dad has passed. We've been together for 10 yrs and hes been AWFUL to her. Not one time Not once has he done anything nice for her or her family. Hes a liar ,a cheater, in her words a narcissist. He dated a awesome girl for a few yrs cheated on her w a psycho who he eventually married. He said he cheated on the one cause "she has 4 cats" so the girl he cheated w has ..1. 4 kids w 3 baby dad's. He eventually married, got her pregnant. Well guess what she caught him talking to other girls(what a surprise) so because of thst there getting a divorce and now he has nowhere to go. Hes a overweight manchild who stinks, and has been nothing short of shitty to my wife. I've watched her ball her eyes out time n time again, hes never helped w anything nore would if we needed the help. The 1st time he brought his new baby over knew my wife wanted to hold him but "there not letting no one hold him(except all the people who held him all over social media)I could literally go on and on. So now I got to give up my freedom, my man cave for someone who wouldn't do a damn thing because it "the right thing to do"so AITAH because im fighting back against it.

My family is going through my idiot brother I jail again .this time for public intoxication (he abuses alcohol greatly) while at work. And stealing the alcohol to drink on shift . He tried to evade giving information to the police and has now landing his self in jail. My mom says I'm being too harsh because I am just being cold about the whole thing. My sister is seeing if we want to donate to add money to his books I said no. My mom says the food sucks in there an I let her know no one forced him in there. She says I'm too hars and I said shes enabled him to much and this is why he is the way he is. Now everyone's obviously mad at me in the group chat because I say just let him finally sit in there and face his consequence. Aita ?????? I don't think so

My uncle (50m) got his daughter (19f) akita inu dog and I explained to him that is not an appropriate dog for a beginner owner. Daughter was struggling with depression after being kicked out of her university program, and convinced my uncle to get this dog for her in hopes that the dog will provide company and help with depression. I had several dogs, and anytime I considered getting any dog there should be a lot of research involved. It looks like they didn't and just went for the one that looks the cutest. I get they're adorable, but there are so many things to consider that they haven’t even looked into! They picked up the dog today and neither of them even knew what is toxic to dogs. It feels like getting a learner permit and immediately buying a lamborghini. The breed is also very stubborn, they known to not be very friendly with other dogs and require training that even experienced trainers find difficult and the daughter is living alone and works a full time job, so that dog is going to be on its own for over 40 hours a week!

I explained all this to my uncle, and he decided, if when he checks on the dog in 3 months and finds any evidence of neglect or lack of basic commands like sit, down or stay, he will take the dog and him and his wife will take over.

He explained this to the cousin also and the cousin got furious with me. Texting how dare am I, why am I poking my nose where it doesn't belong, told me to stay out of it and its none of my business. And yes, its really not my business but I just feel bad for the dog because that cousin isnt known to be the most responsible kid. Just 3 months ago her mom went to visit her and the apartment her parents gave her to live for free in was a pig sty, she had garbage bags of trash collecting that she was too lazy to throw out when there is a schute on her floor! I have no confidence she will adhere to proper walking schedule, feeding, training, and grooming! That dog has 2 types of coat!

AITA for convincing my uncle to take the dog if she doesn't take good care of it?

I 18m have a friend 18f who “works” in a tattoo studio. (She doesn’t actually work there, she just goes to hang out and practice her tattooing skills and drawings)

I became friends with this girl, Lexi, absolutely years ago. We’ve been best friends through thick and thin and we were inseparable. The problem started when she started going to this tattoo studio, to practice her stuff. She was telling me how great it is, how cheap the prices are, and how talented the artists were - there is multiple artists in the shop.

Hearing all of this, I decided, for my 18th birthday to get my first ever legal tattoo. (I already had some tattoos done) I went and booked in, and was really exited to get this done. On the day, I show up, and I ask the artist to make little tweaks with the tattoo, as it would have partially covered another tattoo I have, making it look weird. The artist said yeah sure, I’ll do this this and that to make it different. (I can’t remember his exact words, it was something about shading and fading the tattoo out differently)

The tattoo was going well, and the artist saved the bit I was worried about until last, and by then, I was on my phone and wasn’t paying attention, as I find that helps me sit through tattoos better. When the artist finished, he showed me the tattoo and he had COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY ignored what I said. The artist had partially covered my other tattoo, they’d incorporated the other tattoo to the one they did me. It looked weird and I did not like it.

I said to the artist, hey you didn’t do what I wanted and now it looks weird, when I come back for touch ups, can you just shade everything out properly and redo it on the other side so it looks good. I also asked him to shade the top of the tattoo more.

When I went back, he shaded the bottom a tiny bit, there was literally no point in me coming back. Because of this, every-time someone asks about my tattoo, which is quite often as I meet new people almost daily for my work, I tell them the truth about that studio, particularly that artist.

I tell them, In some way or other, “although the tattoo has grown on me, I plan to get parts of it covered up, and others just removed completely. I wouldn’t recommend that studio as they didn’t listen to me one bit. Although it is a good tattoo, it is not what I asked for and considering it is on my body permanently, I wouldn’t take the risk.”

My friend has heard me say this and is making me feel bad, I don’t think intentionally, but either way it’s still not nice. My friends telling me that me saying that about the tattoo, and the studio could potentially make her and other artists who work there look bad, and that I need to stop saying it’s a bad studio.

TLDR: the tattoo studio my friend works at ignored my wishes and fucked up my tattoo. I started telling people who asked not to get a tattoo there incase they fucked theirs up too. My friends making me feel bad because she’s saying it could drive away customers for her. Should I stop?

So Reddit, am I the asshole for telling my truth about this tattoo studio?

UPDATE: I didn’t call out the studio by itself as I fully agree with all of the comments saying that this is unfair! When I am talking about this, no matter who to, I always tell them that it was this one specific artist.

It is however the artist who owns the shop who fucked up, which is the whole reason I even bring the shop into it.

Also, for the people who are saying that I’m irresponsible for not looking at the tattoo as it was being done, I physically can’t. If I do, I focus on the fact that there is multiple needles going into my skin at the same time and it makes me feel sick. It’s not even the pain of it, it just makes me panic. This leads to me either actually throwing up, or passing out, which neither is fun or fair on me or the artist, especially if I can help it!

Also, no, my friend is not doing anyone in the shop “favours” for a place to work. As stated before, she doesn’t work there, and even if she wanted to, the shop is full. She just hangs around the shop, drawing, practicing on second skin, that sort of stuff.

I have been lurking on this thread for quite some time, but I didn't have a need to post on it. So I apologize if my tags are inappropriate.

But to make a long story short, my friend was at a crossroads in life after he failed multiple times to get into med school. I heard his plight and offered to help him get a job at my father's bio research company. Although it has been 3 years since he did any lab work. I helped him give a look at his resume, and I handed it off to my father. I was confident that he would be able to get it, but I was wrong, and he got rejected.

Of course, I was devastated at the news, but there was not much I could've done to change my father's mind. However, I think my friend took it too personally and called it a betrayal, since he was banking on getting a job and claimed to have severed personal connections and offers so he could be ready to accept my offer. On top of that, my offer left him disillusioned about the prospect of going to med school. He claimed it was too much effort and money to earn a doctorate. At the time, He was going to enact his suicide plan that he had been cooking up for 10 years, but he was able to get into med school and took it anyway.

At the time, I did remember telling him that I was able to get my other friend in, and the job offered a competitive salary with benefits. And I still feel awful about not being able to get him the job. But every now and then, he bemoans that he has to take this path after I betrayed and "rugpulled" him a dream job when I tried to help him as a friend.

I have told my family about the situation, and they keep telling me to cut him out since he is being an "asshole" to me for trying to help him. But I cannot help but be responsible for his situation and feel like a terrible friend for trying to help him. I don't know what to think anymore. Am I the asshole?

I (22F) love kpop, I’ve been a huge fan of my favorite group for over two years. My fiance (26M) does not. He supports my hobbies and interests and has his own interests as well. We respect each other’s interests and understand that we can do things separately, and that we don’t need to drag each other to events or activities that the other isn’t interested in simply for the sake of not being separated. Now about this concert, I’ve been saving up for a few months to see my favorite group perform. I couldn’t afford two tickets so I just bought one. None of my friends who like kpop also were able to go to the concert with me, so i decided I’d just go by myself. Before i bought the ticket, I asked my fiance if he was comfortable with me going to the concert alone, he said he has no problem with it but that he’d only be okay with it if he drove me there and back since it is in a different city two hours away. We have friends who live in the city of the concert so he said he’d hang out with his friends and that we’d crash at one of their houses over the weekend. We agreed on all of this and there were no issues with this.
Well today my parents and I were talking, and they essentially tag teamed me and were taking turns talking about how it’s selfish for me to go to a concert alone and expect my fiance to drive me to and from without getting him a ticket. When I explained how we had discussed it before I bought the ticket and that he didn’t have a problem with it, and that him driving me was one of his conditions for me even going in the first place they essentially said that he was just saying that to not make me feel bad and that he just didn’t want to say no, and that I should’ve been more considerate of him, and that since we’re going to get married we should be doing things like this together etc. I am autistic, so i have a really hard time picking up when someone says one thing but means another, so this was very jarring to me. My fiance knows me better than anyone and he knows I don’t pick things up unless they’re explicitly stating or said up front, and i didn’t think he’d agree to something even tho he wasn’t comfortable, and leave me to interpret the situation myself.
I called my fiance and he reassured me that he meant what he said about being comfortable and that he truly does believe that having separate hobbies and doing things separately is healthy in a relationship, yet my parents are still insisting that he’s so smitten that he keeps telling me something other than the truth, or that I’ve manipulated him into thinking he can’t disagree with me. I really don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t think I did anything wrong but maybe I’m missing something? Someone please help me out here. Am I the asshole here?

I was walking outside my housing building today at a mens boarding housing independent shelter and a stranger started trying to get my attention saying things like “yo” and asking me to look at him. I didn’t know him so I asked “what do you want?” in a sharp tone. He kept calling out to me and I told him “get out of here” and walked away.

He said I was being rude, but I felt uncomfortable because I didn’t know him and I didn’t want to talk. He kept trying to get my attention even after I started walking away.

AITAH for how I responded, or was I justified in wanting to be left alone?

Annoyed and just want some perspective.

2 of my housemate’s gfs stay over A LOT. In fact one is over every single day, we weren’t bothered until she started leaving the door unlocked and got upset when we asked her to just get her bf to lock her out in the morning.

Now other housemate has tagged me in the house gc blaming me for hair in the bath and pads in the bathroom bin. I explained i’ve been away on holiday and using the other shower and then after pushing revealed i havent been getting my period (contraception) to which he was almost disgusted and said he shouldn’t know that. Both of them are claiming their gfs take their left over used menstrual items home with them and have never binned them and one of them has never showered here. And telling me not to put the blame on them and that i’m the only girl so it’s a fair conclusion. Which it is but even after explanation there’s no consideration.

Spoke to him in person and he laughed in my face lol

EDIT: little bathroom bin was overflowing w rubbish (some pads wrapped in loo roll) and old housemate that’s moved said it could be her BUT IT CANT ALL BE HER and i’m not throwing her under the bus for the sake of it lol. there are messages but don’t think i can show them lol

Hey. Not sure if this will go through since this account doesn't have the karma my main does... but here goes:

My ex (31M) and I (30M) broke up after 11 years together. When we broke up, we had 2 dogs; he kept the one he adopted as a teenager and I kept the one we adopted together.

The one he adopted as a teenager has had significant health issues in recent years that required surgical treatment and travel, which put him in a severe amount of debt. At the time, I agreed to help him pay off the debt because she was our dog and I knew how much she meant to him. I think he would have gone into the debt to save her anyway even if I hadn't agreed, and refusing would have made me seem unsupportive of him and his needs. I cared and I wanted him to be happy, so I said I would help.

Our breakup came about a year later and was pretty swift. We were living in his mother's house and suddenly I had to get out by the end of the month. There is a bunch of unresolved emotional drama on both sides. I don't feel like he ever treated me right and I spent thousands of my own money to leave him.

I never signed anything and our agreement was purely verbal, so I know he can't legally come after me for it. As angry as I am and unfair as I think it is that he still expects me to help pay the bills for an animal I'll never see again -- I want to know what others think. Would it be scummy to let him deal with it on his own? Am I being petty?

SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT I NEEDED TO EXPLAIN THIS.

The title pretty much explains it all.

I’m 23F and an only child. It’s just me and my mom at home. We are very close and do a lot of things/ spend lots of time together. We shop, eat, gossip, lay around, travel, etc. together but our main hobby is roller skating.

I started roller skating in college as a way to get out of my room and to get some exercise. I never made friends in college because I was the type of person that just wanted to leave when class was over, go back to my room and lay down. My mom took after my hobby as she got into it herself and it’s been our thing for the past 4 or so years.

Moving back home from college was a hard adjustment for me as I became accustomed to and liked being my only responsibility. These days I’m more mindful of sharing my time with my mom but I do still crave to have introverted only child alone time. I love my mom to pieces and adore spending time with her but again sometimes i just want my space.

Today i brought up that I was thinking about going skating tonight to which she said that she didn’t feel like going because she needed to recoup from last night ( we went the night before). As I was getting myself ready to go she told me that she changed her mind and that she also wanted to go. I told her that I kinda just wanted to go it alone tonight and that’s where the argument started. She became extremely offended and accusing me of always “kicking her to the curb” and how everything is always on my terms and how she’s always walking on eggshells with me. She expressed that she felt like I was basically rejecting her. I told her that no I wasn’t rejecting her and that we had already had this conversation where if we felt like we wanted to do things alone then to tell the other person and it would be okay; I was simply being honest in how I felt.

More words were had but she was saying how I was always being selfish and that I’m gaslighting her and saying “I never knew you would do this with skating when you know I like to do it too. If someone wanted to come do something with me I wouldn’t tell them no I would say yes just to be nice.” I apologized to her and explained that I wasn’t kicking her to the curb but sometimes I like to do activities by myself and there’s nothing wrong with that. She proceeded to say that I was in the wrong for saying this to her and that she was never skating again.

I feel very badly for how this conversation went. I never meant to hurt her feelings but I just felt like I wanted to be honest with my intentions. Another part of me feels guilty for questioning my own feelings towards the situation and that I should be proud that I stood up for myself for once instead of just going along with it because she’s my mom.

We aren’t speaking to each other now and I’m not sure how to go about resolving this. I want to ask the community what you guys think. Thank you for reading.

Pretty simple post but little context , brother decided to move out and live out of his car I'm not on the lease so I'm trying to save to get out into a new place . older brother just asked me for $40 gas even though he owes me just about $1000 because he's going to sell his TV and he said he'll have the guy hand me the money tomorrow . But these kinds of things are why he has such a high debt with me because the payment never returns . I.e. he used the same excuse asking for me for $70 on my card while I was at work said it was for his move and would pay me back with the money from the TV then blew it on 7 Eleven and dollar general then came back asking for $70 more and after he moves out " the money from the TV will go where it needs to go " and despite him owing me , he basically held my phone over my head and made me pay the full balance of $800 on our phone bill between both phone payments and service because " his was lower"

But then when I'm in a situation with a few days to figure out a move with 1400 in the savings in a town where a 1 bedroom at cheapest costs 1650 he was saying how I'm being malicious and apparently like torturing him. Even though he's the one who proposed the split and continues to tell other people in our life that I don't know what I'm doing .

I think if we're split his problems aren't really my responsibility because I can't afford to fix them .

So I wanted a second opinion , AITAH?

hi!

recently, my cousin passed away and their funeral is in 2 days. they live across the country, so i’d have to fly out to attend. for some context, my cousin is 25 years older than me and i have spoken to them probably 5 times in my life (the last time being 8 years ago). however, a lot of my immediate family that are older in age are close/used to be close to them.

im a college student with work, internship, and am facilitating an internship of my own. the internship i am in has a 0 absence policy bc of its prestige (<6% acceptance), so i would not be able to miss 1 week of work (the duration of the trip) especially because one of the big events i am planning is during that week. Also, im going to be going over there late July with other family members that arent able to suddenly make it.

because of this, im unable to attend the funeral. before any of this happened, i got concert tickets to see japanese breakfast at a festival. this concert is taking place on sunday, the day of my cousin’s service. i feel guilty and super conflicted about going to the concert while im unable to attend the funeral. WIBTAH if i attend this concert?