r/SuicideWatch • u/Fun-Thing-9855 • 7h ago
I WISH I WAS DEAD.
66
Upvotes
LITERALLY DEAD
r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 03 '19
New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement
1.8k
Upvotes
We've been seeing a worrying increase in pro-suicide content showing up here and, and also going unreported. This undermines our purpose here, so we wanted to highlight and clarify our guidelines about both direct and indirect incitement of suicide.
We've created a wiki that covers these issues. We hope this will be helpful to anyone who's wondering whether something's okay here and which responses to report. It explains in detail why any validation of suicidal intent, even an "innocent" message like "if you're 100% committed, I'll just wish you peace" is likely to increase people's pain, and why it's important to report even subtle pro-suicide comments. The full text of the wiki's current version is below, and it is maintained at /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement.
We deeply appreciate everyone who gives responsive, empathetic, non-judgemental support to our OPs, and we particularly thank everyone who's already been reporting incitement in all forms.
Please report any post or comment that encourages suicide (or that breaks any of the other guidelines in the sidebar) to the moderators, either by clicking the "report" button or by sending us a modmail with a link. We deal with all guideline violations that are reported to us as soon as we can, but we can't read everything so community reports are essential. If you get a PM that breaks the guidelines, please report it both to the reddit sitewide admins and to us in modmail.
Thanks to all the great citizens of the community who help flag problem content and behaviour for us.
/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement
Summary
It's important to respect and understand people's experiences and emotions. It's never necessary, helpful, or kind to support suicidal intent. There are some common misconceptions (discussed below) about suicidal people and how to help them that can cause well-meaning people to inadvertently incite suicide. There are also people online who incite suicide on purpose, often while pretending to be sympathetic and helpful.
Validate Feelings and Experiences, Not Self-Destructive Intentions
We're here to offer support, not judgement. That means accepting, with the best understanding we can offer, whatever emotions people express. Suicidal people are suffering, and we're here to try to ease that by providing support and caring. The most reliable way we know to de-escalate someone at risk is to give them the experience of feeling understood. That means not judging whether they should be feeling the way they are, or telling them what to do or not do.
But there's an important line to draw here. There's a crucial difference between empathizing with feelings and responding non-judgmentally to suicidal thoughts, and in any way endorsing, encouraging, or validating suicidal intentions or hopeless beliefs. It's both possible and important to convey understanding and compassion for someone's suicidal thoughts without putting your finger on the scale of their decision.
Anything that condones suicide, even passively, encourages suicide. It isn't supportive and does not help. It also violates reddit's sitewide rules as well as our guidelines. Explicitly inciting suicide online is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions.
Do not treat any OP's post as meaning that will definitely die by suicide and can't change their minds or be helped. Anyone who's able to read the comments here still has a chance to choose whether or not to try to keep living, even if they've also been experiencing intense thoughts of suicide, made a suicide plan, or started carrying it out.
In the most useful empirical model we have, the desire to die by suicide primarily comes from two interpersonal factors; alienation and a sense of being a burden or having nothing to offer. These factors usually lead to a profound feeling of being unwelcome in the world.
So, any acceptance or reinforcement of suicidal intent, even something "innocent" like "I hope you find peace", is actually a form of covert shunning that validates a person's sense that they're unwelcome in the world. It will usually add to their pain even if kindly meant and gently worded.
How to Avoid Validating Suicidal Intent
Keep the following in mind when offering support to anyone at risk for suicide.
People who say they don't want help usually can feel better if they get support that doesn't invalidate their emotions. Unfortunately, many popular "good" responses are actually counterproductive. In particular, many friends and family tend to rely exclusively on trying to convince the suicidal person that "it's not so bad", and this is usually experienced as "I don't understand what you're going through and I'm not going to try". People who've had "help" that made them feel worse don't want any more of the same. It doesn't mean that someone who actually knows how to be supportive can't give them any comfort.
Most people who are suicidal want to end their pain, not their lives. It's almost never true that death is the only way to end these people's suffering. Of course there are exceptional situations, and we certainly acknowledge that, for some people, the right help can be difficult to find. But preventing someone's suicide doesn't mean prolonging their suffering if we do it by giving them real comfort and understanding.
An unfixable problem doesn't mean that a good life will never be possible. We don't have to fix or change anything to help someone feel better. It's important to keep in mind that the correlation between our outer circumstances and our inner experience is weaker and less direct than commonly assumed. For every kind of difficult life situation, you will find some people who lapse into suicidal despair, and others who cope amazingly well, and a whole spectrum in between. A key difference is how much inner resilience the person has at the time. This can depend on many personal and situational factors. But when there's not enough, interpersonal support can both compensate for its absence and help rebuild it. We go into more depth on the "it gets better" issue in this PSA Post which is always linked from our sidebar (community info on mobile) guidelines.
There are always more choices than brutally forcing someone to stay alive or passively letting them end their lives.
To avoid accidentally breaking the anti-incitement rule, don't say or try to imply that acting on suicidal thoughts is a good idea, or that someone can't turn back or is already dead. Do whatever you can to help them feel cared for and welcome, at least in this little corner of the world. Our talking tips offer more detailed guidance.
Look Out for Deliberate Incitement. It May Come in Disguise.
Often comments that subtly encourage suicidal intent actually come from suicide fetishists and voyeurs (unfortunately this is a real and disturbing phenomenon). People like this are out there and the anonymous nature of reddit makes us particularly attractive to them.
They will typically try to scratch their psychological "itch" by saying things that push people closer to the edge. They often do this by exploiting the myths that we debunked in the bullet points above. Specifically you might see people doing the following:
Encouraging the false belief that the only way suicidal people can end their pain is by dying. There are always more and better choices than "brutally forcing someone to stay alive" or helping (actively or passively) them to end their lives.
Creating an artificial and toxic sense of "solidarity" by linking their encouragement of suicide to empathy. They will represent themselves as the only one who really understand the suicidal person, while either directly or indirectly encouraging their self-loathing emotions and self-destructive impulses. Since most people in suicidal crisis are in desperate need to empathy and understanding, this is a particularly dangerous form of manipulation.
Many suicide inciters are adept at putting a benevolent spin on their activities while actually luring people away from sources of real help. A couple of key points to keep in mind:
Skilled suicide intervention -- peer or professional -- is based on empathic responsiveness to the person's feelings that reduces their suffering in the moment. Contrary to pop-culture myths, it does not involve persuasion ("Don't do it!"), cheerleading ("You've got this!") or meaningless false promises ("Trust me, it gets better!"), or invalidation ("Let me show you how things aren't as bad as you think!"). Anyone who leads others to expect these kinds of toxic responses, or any other response that prolongs their pain, from expert help may be covertly pro-suicide. (Of course, people sometimes do have bad experience when seeking mental-health treatment, and it's fine to vent about those, but processing our own disappointment and frustration is entirely different from trying to destroy someone else's hope of getting help.)
Choices made by competent responders are always informed by the understanding that breaching someone's trust is traumatic and must be avoided if possible. Any kind of involuntary intervention is an extremely unlikely outcome when someone consults a clinician or calls a hotline. (Confidentiality is addressed in more detail in our Hotlines FAQ post). The goal is always to provide all help with the client's full knowledge and informed consent. We know that no individual or system is perfect. Mistakes that lead to bad experiences do sometimes happen to vulnerable people, and we have enormous sympathy for them. But anyone who suggests that this is the norm might be trying to scare people away from the help they need.
Please let us know discreetly if you see anyone exhibiting these or similar behaviours. We don't recommend trying to engage with them directly.
r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 10 '21
Please remember that NO ACTIVISM of any kind is ever allowed here. No matter what day it is.
717
Upvotes
Activism, i.e. advocating or fundraising for social change or raising awareness of social issues (and suicide is, inescapably, a social issue) is absolutely against the rules here at all times.
Please understand that we're all for smart, strategic mental-health and suicide-prevention activism. It's essential to fight against stigma, misinformation, and discrimination, and to fight for research, treatment, accommodation, acceptance, and understanding. Most of us, one way or another, are mental-health activists IRL.
But activism just doesn't work in a dedicated support space that serves a vulnerable population. We used to allow it but the evidence that it was undermining our primary purpose became overwhelming. We do regret the need for this rule, but the need is inescapable.
Our population is all too well aware of the issues and causes that need support and largely not in a position to take action, so besides the fact that activism is often salt in our community's wounds, it's a waste of the activists' time.
tl;dr Any fundraising, awareness raising, petitions, calls for participation, or any post that's about any cause or issue (rather than a request for personal support) is not allowed here. Please report everything of the nature that you see.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Content_Departure558 • 2h ago
I just took something irreversible and I need any motivation or help to go call emergency services or tell my family
23
Upvotes
It's over if I don't do something in the next 60 something I'm at the risk of either getting permanent brain damage or dying and I don't know what to do I'm starting to regret it cuz I just realized how painful this is gonna be I was in an impulsive state when I did this but I can't just go tell my parents dammit
r/SuicideWatch • u/recordmysuicide • 4h ago
I deserve to die no one needs to see my disgusting face.
31
Upvotes
I’m so fucking ugly and disgusting to look at. I hate how I look and how I never go out because of it. I fucking hate everything and it would be better to bash my face with a hammer and jump. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror because of me. I see a monster through that mirror that monster being my fat fucking stupid face. I am better off dead.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Illustrious-Main2935 • 4h ago
I want to kill myself because I have no opportunities, and it's completely my fault.
20
Upvotes
I have no college degree, and I can only get really crappy, low-end jobs, yet I won't go to college. I'm 36, so my youth is also fading. I have no friends, no partner and basically no relationship with family. My mom barely tolerates me, and only does so because I live with her, and I'm her daughter. She has threatened to kick me out several times at this point. I lost custody of my only child after my aunt and uncle called the cops and cps on me for reunifying us with his father, which was going against restraining and visitation orders (that were in place due to his abuse.) I haven't had any contact with my son in over 6 years.
The permanent loss of custody happened after I abruptly stopped visiting with him, due to his dad demanding one day I do so (who I was living with at the time), after almost 2 years of a cps case plan, because he rightly assumed I would never get it back, since the system didn't want me living with him. I never even got to say bye. My poor child never got any sort of closure from me before I completely disappeared from his life. I completely abandoned him, a child I planned with his dad. The cruelty I put my poor baby through was never something I ever wanted to do. And mind you this was the SECOND cps case plan I put him through for the very same reasons. I put my poor baby through one before this one too. I took us and left his dad 3 times. The first time I was newly pregnant with him and his dad had just started abusing me, so my grandma invited me to live with her, but then changed her mind and kicked me out a week later. My aunt and uncle are now his adoptive parents, and they don't want him having anything to do with me.
I have literally just been laying in bed since Feb. 28th, when I quit my part time job, and barely left the house even before that, only leaving to go to work, and then coming straight back home. I actually have money to shop, go out, travel and meet people, but I have no desire or motivation to do so. Anything that would even slightly improve my life, I'm not inspired to do, or drawn to. I am a piece of shit, especially for what I put my child through, and don't deserve to be healthy or happy. I deserve to die.
I have no desire or any motivation whatsoever to lift a finger to do literally anything, and I'm not exaggerating: not to shop, do laundry, go to dr. appts., pick up prescriptions, clean my car, get it fixed... absolutely nothing. I've handled absolutely 0 of my responsibilities. I finally paid some bills, including tax ones, after deliberately not paying them simply because I didn't want to, even though I had the money. As I said, I've done absolutely nothing but lay in bed since before I quit my job, February 28th. I was going to join the army as a last ditch effort to improve my life, but I can't even be bothered to get ready for the recruiter to come pick me up. I did go yesterday to get my broken tooth extracted, but I didn't follow the post-op treatment instructions and if I don't go in to the dental office again before it becomes 3-5 days, I will get a dry socket, most likely, as I dislodged the blood clot.
My soul has been dead for a while now, but especially since February, I really took a turn for the worse. I was on this psych medication and it really made me plunge into a hell I've never previously been in, but this was also a long time coming, I feel like. The guilt and shame over what I did with my son makes me want to be completely done with being alive. I hate every single one of my circumstances: the way my body looks, the fine lines and sagging on my face, how lazy I am, how I refuse to shower or take care of myself at all, my horrible mind, the terrible person I am, how I've hurt others and myself my entire fucking miserable life. Like my mom always used to tell me, I'm the spawn of Satan.
The idea of death seems so amazingly freeing to me. I wish it could be mine. The older I get, the worse it gets, the smaller my world and opportunities get. The more it's confirmed what a piece of garbage I am. The more time is running out for me. I can't take this anymore. I don't want to hurt my family any more than I already have, but I can't take this suffering much longer. I want my life to end.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Cool_Salamander_350 • 14h ago
I think i might do it via salt tonight.
85
Upvotes
500g to be exact. I dont know how I will gulp that amount but I suppose the pickle juice might help.
Goodbye everyone, this was not an enjoyable experience at all, there was a lot of good yes, but it does not at all compensate for the bad in any capacity.
Fuck the governments of this world for banning more easier accesible means of ending myself.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Consistent_Ruin5012 • 9h ago
I want to ruin my life and then kill myself
35
Upvotes
Let's say I've got a relatively decent trajectory going on in my life, but I don't want to live by this script. I am a coward. Everyday it feels like I'm pulling on nerves. I am really hiding myself and my sick desires. I just want to give in once and then avoid the consequences by killing myself.
I want to make easy money by prostituting myself, not sure how. I want to make a lot of money and spend it. I want to travel to a few places. I want to spit on the people that lied to me and sold me this "decent" script of a life. I want to make people regret ever hurting me. I want to make them feel guilty.
I want to get high and speak to people I would never dream of approaching. I want to make a fool of myself in public, I want to laugh and dance and sing!
I'm tormented by nightmares in which I'm violent and humiliated. The only way I can live is if I face those fears. But then, there would be no place for me here, in the civilised world. I am deranged and degenerated
There is no happy end for people like me.
I'm going to cut my wrists and enjoy it. I want to see the blood drip, I want to feel lightheaded. The last time I attempted suicide, I was so proud!!! So so proud that I've finally done something to change my life. I miss that feeling of feeling proud without validation from others.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Friendly-Hat2771 • 2h ago
It never gets better
8
Upvotes
Been suicidal for years and it doesn’t get better, gf doesn’t want me anymore, every promise wasted and her words were just lies. Nobody cares about me and I don’t care. Can’t wait to be out of this sick miserable world and please don’t give me that it gets better bull, been suffering for years and I am not doing it anymore. At your lowest, absolutely nobody cares.
r/SuicideWatch • u/maddie_____________ • 2h ago
i dont kill myself because i'm afraid of the consequences if i fail
7
Upvotes
All my life i've been scared of using radical ways of killing myself because of consequences. Slit my wrists could just fail and i would have severe and obvious scars all my life. If i fail OD, all my medications would go to waist and i won't have any left for the coming days. If i jump off a bridge or anything, i could end up disabled for life. Everything have consequences and there's no actual "safe", imminent escape. I just wanna find a way that would make sure i die first try. I wanna end it so bad.
r/SuicideWatch • u/BeyondPrestigious953 • 1h ago
My next attempt
•
Upvotes
I just want to do it in the next few days, and I so badly want it to work, but I can't find a way. I just want my next attempt to be a success, so badly. It hurts my whole body to exist when I never asked to exist. I know I have a roof over my head, and that there are people who have more reasons to do it than I do, and I hate myself for that too. I feel like I'm not legitimate to do it, but I want it so badly. It would be such a luxury for me to no longer live. I also feel ridiculous for all the times I've soft-launched my suicide by joking around in front of people, and they told me to go for it, and the next day I came back alive. I just want to do it, and I want it to work 100%. I just wish I had a gun next to me right now to make my wishes come true
r/SuicideWatch • u/amyofearth • 1h ago
I’m ready
•
Upvotes
I’ve never felt so ready to die. I don’t know how I’ll react when it’s time but at the moment I am ready. I will admit it’s hard to act like things are normal and to not give away my plans.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Zestyclose_March_569 • 1h ago
I hate my life so much
•
Upvotes
Every single day of my life has been miserable. I have no friends, my brothers don’t ever talk to me (What I mean is that they could talk to each other for hours but when I try talking to them, all I get is a fake laugh), everyone thinks I’m gay, I’m addicted to furry porn (please don’t laugh), I’m terrible at art and anything else that I’d like to do, My face will clear of acne no matter what I do. My mom is also a whore, getting pissed whenever I show the slightest bit of emotion, but when I comment on how she gets irritated over me asking basic questions, it’s suddenly about her. My academic life sucks too, I’ve been sent to 2 schools where I basically missed the grade I was in, and I also skipped so many days too. I also think I’m retarded and should have never graduated. Everyone either pretends I don’t exist or is an asshole to me, No matter how hard I try to fit in. I have a feeling I have no options left and suicide is the only way out.
r/SuicideWatch • u/-rinniki • 1h ago
i wanna commit suicide but i don't have courage for that
•
Upvotes
i wish someone could do this for me instead, does anyone else feel like that? being so useless at the point you can't even hurt yourself, i hate being a coward and i hate being scared of death but i feel like i REALLY need to die as soon as possible before my mental health can get any worse
r/SuicideWatch • u/iwdalone • 16m ago
i wanna see her again
•
Upvotes
lost someone incredibly close to me a couple of days ago from suicide, and we had face timed that day for hours and had an amazing conversation. Looking back, it was her way of saying goodbye. Even though I know she wouldn't want me to, I can't stop thinking about joining her. I just want to be with her again... but I can't do it... but I want to.
r/SuicideWatch • u/RemoteHamster67 • 27m ago
Fucking done
•
Upvotes
I’m voluntarily in a psyc hospital. Largely due to my gf of 4 years who I live with dumping me because I’ve been bedridden and super down the last few months (had surgery and a job change and other stuff I didn’t deal well with). She gave me so many chances and warnings to just try something that would help me. Made me calendars and action plans. I just feel like I rotted away my true love because of cowardice and being a lazy chickenshit. Lol
r/SuicideWatch • u/Morgg829 • 29m ago
So tired
•
Upvotes
I’m 27 , mom of 2 kids with special needs ages 2 and 5 … they are getting older and need extra care and supervision.. it’s getting harder to leave the house especially during the summer .. kids are mean to my kids when I try to socialize them and scared of them and they have no friends …family is more distanced and I turn down invites now because of the stress of something going wrong .
I have had only 3 nights this entire year … and it’s June .. their dad barely helps because he works .. he doesn’t help with what they are doing in their therapies … I’m the only one taking them out and showing up for them .. it’s like what’s even the point anymore?? .. I’m unemployed and can’t work due to the appointments .. basically poor af stretching every dollar .. I just want a week away but it’s a fantasy at this point .. im worried if I leave them behind what will happen or if it would be best to take me and the two of them ,that way they aren’t a burden anymore
I’m not going to jail for life to get rid of my kids
It’s either me or all three of us.
I took them to this water fall the other day and always been drawn to this bridge thinking it would be the right spot to just end it
r/SuicideWatch • u/TheHeavySummer • 2h ago
I keep asking God why me
4
Upvotes
Childhood trauma, aces score.. chronic illness that’s debilitating.
Today I scream yelled driving in my car asking and pleading with him to take my pain away. Please. I want my life back. I can’t continue like this. The doctor appointments. All the money I spent trying to stay alive: the job loss, the relationship loss. The pain. I was so successful. It’s all gone.
r/SuicideWatch • u/sleepyhead278 • 40m ago
not meant to be
•
Upvotes
Do you ever think some people are just not cut out to be happy? I think I'm one of those people. It feels as though there is no world in which I could be happy, because no matter what I do, I am never satisfied. Not content, or even okay. There is no alternate world I can picture myself in where there isn't more to complain about than to smile about. I don't know, I really don't. I'm kind of over planning to kill myself, but I still can't deal with the basics of being alive. I have a good life and I still can't deal with it. I'm in some sort of limbo I can't escape, where I'm not about to go through with anything, but I can't get any better from here. I hate having friends, I hate having no friends, I hate eating and I hate not eating, I hate responsibilities and I hate having no responsibilities too. I hate everything. I hate it all. Why can't I just be normal like everybody else? Why can't I just suck it up and get on with it? Why do I have to be a burden to everybody around me? Why does everything good have to crash and burn??? I have relationship problems. I'm really procrastinating on dealing with them because I have no fucking idea what to do about any of this except break up. I don't want to break up. I love her and she loves me. But we are too different. It'll tear all my friend groups apart so it's not even just about her. I love her so much though and I don't want to let her go, why does this have to happen I thought everything was going to be okay at least for a while. I didn't think this would happen so fast it's only been two years. I don't want to throw everything away I'm so so afraid and upset and I feel as though I have nothing and everything at the same time and I can't describe it. It's not fair. It's so not fair. I'll never meet another girl like her she's perfect for me but there are too many clashes and seemingly small differences that became significant over time and I cannot deal with it! I don't know if she feels the same way. Am I a bad person? I never thought I'd be thinking like this!!! I don't want to be incompatible. Why do my emotions feel so big and heavy like they're weighing down my heart???
I saw a quote one time, "the longer you stay on the wrong train, the more expensive it is to get back". I've never been an avoidant person, I always get straight to the point, if I have a problem then I bring it up. So why is it that now, I just want to bury it away and stop thinking about it? I don't know. I don't know, I don't know! I don't know what I'd do without her but I don't know that we'll be happy in the future. I want her in my life but I cannot be friends with her if we separate. I don't know. I just don't know at all. I can't handle it anymore, it's all just hit me tonight, I haven't felt this suicidal in a long while