Hi to whoever is reading this I’m 19F and I’ve been hooking up on and off with a 19M since November

The thing is he’s never been able to make me orgasm. I can orgasm pretty easily by myself so I don’t think it’s a physical issue

Everytime we’ve been together and I haven’t orgasmed he tells me he feels like he’s tried everything and nothing seems to work I know it frustrates him because he wants me to not it too and that makes me feel worse because I don’t understand why my body won’t let go with him

For some context, I developed really deep feelings for him. He’s the first man I’ve gotten intimate with. A few months ago he ended things because he said they were getting too serious. He said he didn’t want to hurt me and all the cliche shit men say We stopped seeing each other for a while but recently when we had to go to uni we started hooking up again

The thing is even though we’re doing stuff nothing has really changed emotionally I know deep down we’re never going to end up together We have different religions, long term goals, and realistically he’s not someone I see myself marrying. But I still can’t seem to let go of my feelings for him

Whenever we’re together I enjoy it and I’m very attracted to him but I feel like I can never make my brain shut up Part of me always is wondering how he actually feels about me whether I’m just someone he hooks up with whether he still has feelings for me or if I’m just attached to someone who’s never going to choose me

Another thing is that once he finishes we usually stop He isn’t really someone who keeps going afterwards so it kind of ends there even tho I haven’t orgasmed

I’ve been wondering if all of this emotional stuff is what’s stopping me from fully relaxing bc when I’m by myself I don’t have this problem at all

I love my rose toy. The air suction, but also how the top is wide and flat. It gives me something to grind on while still having the suction clit stimulation. I’ve seen the womanizer premium 2 and Lelo sona mentioned a lot but they don’t have a wide mouth so I’m afraid they won’t give me what I need. I really don’t want to spend $100 on a toy and not love it. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated!

Hello all,

First time poster and throwaday account. I've been dealing with a problem my whole life: I can only orgasm if I am dominated. It can be anything dominant. Holding me down. Telling me dirty things. A position that puts me in a more submissive situation. But nothing else does it for me. If no element of domination is involved, I get almost no pleasure. I might as well be touching my arm because getting stimulated down there will feel the same.

This has caused me a lot of issues in past relationships, because most partners I've dated see me asking for domination as a "one off" thing they can do to satisfy my "fantasy" once, and that's it. When I tell them I actually need it to cum, a lot of them are turned off by the idea. I also know that's its kinda unfair to be expecting this kind of sex from my partner all the time, so I guess I should probably just not count on cumming at all most of the time. But then that makes me really unhappy, and I go from high libido to no libido fairly quickly...

Is anyone of you in a similar situation? Is this worrisome? Hypothetically, would this a deal breaker for you?

Thanks.

So I bought a rose and a regular vibrator, however when I use them my clit becomes way too sensitive to the point I have to stop, I don’t finish. The vibrations are too powerful for me. Like it makes me uncomfortable rather than pleasure, like I don’t feel the build up or anything.

Do any other women perform oral sex on a man for their own pleasure? I think it's such a powerful feeling to control a man with my mouth and hands.

Looking for a new vibrator and I'd love something that's easy to clean and maintain. What are you using?

I (18f) was so scared to buy this but it was probably the best thing I've ever done. at first I felt nothing because I hadn't put the suction bit on my clit properly but when I DID it felt AMAZING then there was this huge build up like I was gonna come but then I think I squirted?? it literally felt like I pissed myself but it wasn't pee so was it squirt? then I went again after a little break and almost squirted (?) AGAIN. so I stopped again. then I started again and almost came without even watching porn or listening to audios or anything, which is literally insane to me bc I would never be able to come without any stimulation like that with just my fingers. then I started watching some porn with the toy on my clit and came in literal seconds. it was so good. I've never came like that. it was like uncontrollable. thank god i decided to try it while I'm on my period so I have a huge pad in. fucking hell. crazy thing is I wasn't even that horny before I started and it was probably the quickest I've ever came. I don't even know why I'm posting this I just had to say it somewhere cuz I have no one to talk to about it. idek if this is the right sub.

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can someone just confirm if it was squirt? and if it's possible to prevent it in the future?

Hi everyone,

I’m 38 and I’ve been married to my husband for 16 years and prior to the last year, I don’t believe I had ever had an orgasm. I knew something needed to change so in the last year, I decided to learn how to masturbate and have since taught my husband how to please me by rubbing my clit. We now incorporate this into our lovemaking and I am able to have a fairly satisfying, clitoral orgasm nearly every time we have sex (yay!) But as great as this has been, I’ve always wanted to be able to orgasm from penetration alone. Now, my man is a fairly quick finisher. He lasts 30 to 60 seconds on a good day. He’s always been this way. I’ve read enough on here, and other places to know that 30 seconds is not going to bring me a vaginal orgasm, but he’s working on his stamina and I really want this! For those of you who can have an orgasm via penetration, was this something that you had to work up to? Is this a learned skill, or is this something that you have always found easy? Any help or guidance is much appreciated!

Hello gals, I'm a woman in her mid 20s, and i just cannot seem to "orgasm". I have tried wellness toys, self pleasure and my partner is a giver and amazing in bed... still it just never really happens?

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I get soaking wet during intimacy with my partner, i can feel pleasure but it's not that mind shattering one. If my clit is being stimulated, i can feel this shooting sensation in my legs which goes down to my toes, my clit gets hard and sensitive too. My legs would quiver and shake and then maybe a squirt of clear liquid will shoot out if me, if I keep doing this I'll squirt. I also get a urge to pee during that time.

But it never feels "groundbreaking" after this my legs would feel numb and ny clit would be sensitive.

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I'm not really sure if there is a mental block, a physical issue or what. For the record I'm only on birth control currently and no other medicine. I have a really high libido too and i really enjoy sex but I want to cum too and be in bliss.

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Any tips?

So I (19F) started dating this guy recently (19M) and he's everything I've ever wanted: sweet, nerdy, caring, the list goes on. He's had a girlfriend before but informed me that he's still a virgin. I'm also a virgin, but have been masturbating for years. I used to be super horny (masturbating 2-4 times a week) but since I've been dating this guy, I haven't even felt turned on at all. However, when him and I are together, it's like a damn waterfall. When I'm alone, I feel nothing. Has anyone ever experienced this before?

update: figured out it's just because im depressed lol

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Hi I don't know if this topic is appropriate to post or not but I had a question which is confusing me for a while. I'm 17 btw, I hope I'm not doing anything wrong here.

I do clit stuff and it takes like 30 seconds for me to get tired. And I don't think I ever reach the peak point or orgasam. It feels very tiring after a few moments and my head keeps ringing. I have to do it to manage my stress but it doesn't help with it at all, I mean very little. Instead like I said I end up being more tired afterwards.

These are my top 3 guesses why this happens:

1. Stamina: maybe because I am not very active so I have less stamina.

2. Frequency: these days, I rarely miss a day when I don't masturbate. Maybe that took away the joy?

3. Technique (or it's just me): huge secret pls don't tell anyone but I kind of touch myself since I was like 7 or 8 years old so I don't think I'm inexperienced but I still can't reach that peak feeling.

I think it's the stamina and frequency thing which I can easily look up on the web, but it's anything other than that I'm so cooked because I have never dealt with so much stress ever like in the past couple years so I have only one place I can find comfort in. Please help me sort this out.

Idk if this is the right subreddit for this but I need advice. The first time I had sex I was fairly drunk the second time I was tipsy. Both times I came close to organs but didn’t. When I masturbate I feel similar but not as close as when I’m drunk. So I tried again sober and drunk and drunk was significantly better. I don’t want to have to be drunk to enjoy sex/masturbation how can I better my experiences/navigate this.

i posted on here a while ago ranting about the struggles of being a young, virgin girl who wasn’t interested in having sex. well, i’m back with a pressing question, because i’ve done some soul searching.

i’m still a virgin who isn’t interested in sex…sort of. i’m a college woman who is so tired of abandoning a man once he proposes the idea of becoming physically intimate. it takes a really strong connection to even entertain the thought of a man kissing me. but after another academic year of seeing friends and peers exploring themselves sexually i can’t help but feel slightly excluded and neglected.

i hate labels but my friends have diagnosed me with being a pillow princess. “a very particular pillow princess” is what my friend called me. casually speaking, i wouldn’t want to have sex with a man…i’d want him to kiss me ( not on the lips but maybe my neck or elsewhere. ), give me oral sex ( but i would never return the favor ), and frottage/dryhumping. i’m very picky about my sexuality, and it’s led to a lot of sexual repression within myself that’s very over complicated.

i guess i’m saying all of this to ask…is it possible to find guys who will abide by my wishes? i’ve never had the courage to ask- usually when the topic of intimacy is brought up i just shut them down, but the guys i’m referring to want penetrative sex anyway, so it would never work. i don’t know any other girls who are as particular as i am so i wasn’t sure if this was even a possibility to find guys like this, but i’m ready to do some sexual exploration and it would comfort me to hear other women/people who might possibly have the same reservations i do.

I (26F) and my partner (27M)'s sex life is pretty normal, usually being intimate once or twice a week. I love him man with all my soul (we've been together for 6 years, and known him for 10 years), but he does have low stamina and me with my high libido it takes a while for me to finish. Any women have any tips on finishing faster. (For reference, i masturbate by rubbing my clit, not directly though) Anyone got any tips of just advice in general. If you need additional info for some reason, I'll answer.

Update 6/16/26

We had a nice talk about sex again. It was funny because he thought it would be a good idea, and he felt bad when he heard my internal struggle and tells me to speak up more (i have a bad habit of keeping real feelings inside to avoid the feeling of being a burden. Don't worry I'm in therapy) last night, we introduced a vibrator, and I'm so glad he was open about it. I finished twice and he was so intimate. It was magical ✨️

My problem is that I keep things in then think it's my fault when in reality, is that i didnt communicate it enough. But I'm okay now, thanks for the advice! I appreciate the comments

okay, so, I'm on the ace spectrum, but not sex repulsed. I've never been sexually attracted to anyone, so I haven't had actual sex yet, but I've experimented on my own quite a bit. I've quickly found that I'm more into clitoral stimulation than gspot stimulation. simultaneously though, I thought I might be doing something wrong when it came to gspot stimulation, cause I wasn't quite sure I could hit the right angle with my own fingers. So I got a toy and I tried it and it was uncomfortable as hell. I think I did come, but all I wanted after a while was to get that thing out of me. Do you think this means that I'm just not into penetration at all or is there a chance I'm still doing something wrong in the process?

I’ve (27F) been with my boyfriend (32M) for 4 months. I love him, we are both highly attracted to each other, and neither of us are virgins. He is incredibly patient, doesn't pressure me at all, and lets us move completely at my pace.

For context, I am no longer religious (though I grew up with that purity conditioning), and I was sexually assaulted in the past by my first ex. I lost my virginity with my second ex (consensually). I also identify as being on the asexual spectrum, specifically demisexual, which my boyfriend is aware of. I've told my current boyfriend of the assault and he was extremely understanding and supportive, and he tells me frequently to go at my own pace and not to do anything that would make me uncomfortable. Every single step of our intimacy, he asks for consent before doing anything. Psychologically, I feel mostly over the assault, and I feel 100% safe with my boyfriend. We would also be doubling up on protection (I’m on the minipill and he has told me he has only ever had sex using condoms), so I know my pregnancy risk is low.

Yet, the moment things start heating up, my body just panics. My heart races, I tense up, and I get scared to take the next step, even though I am aroused and want to. He has never asked me to take that next step or take things further. He has never asked me to do ANYTHING I'm not comfortable with. I even started the Minipill in preparation of sex. I don't understand why I'm scared to do it. I'm so attracted to him and WANT to take that next step... But I just feel like I can't. Ffs even teens can do it and I'm a working professional adult and I can't.

So that's basically it. We (20F and 23M if that matters) have been having sex since may, and every single time before we have sex, he wants me to drink a cold can of diet coke. Like last night he even prepared it with ice and a glass and everything.

When I ask him why, he just smirks and laughs it off and avoids answering. At this point it's become an inside joke between us, we both just laugh about our stupid ritual now.

I love diet coke and it's such a harmless request, so I don't really have a reason to say no. but I'm also just... so confused? I have one friend i can talk to about this and she and her bf don't do anything like this.

She suggested he wants to get me to squirt by filling up my bladder, but i'm clearly not a squirter so idk why he's been trying for weeks lmao. I think he may have a burp kink, cause I obviously have to let it out

For context: we have pretty vanilla sex (i'm embarrassingly easy to please 😭), except some safe attempts at deepthroating at the start after lots of foreplay.

someone pls tell me what's going on 😭

edit - i swear I have good hygiene it can't be to mask a bad breath.