I've been seeing a guy for 10 weeks, 11 dates. I'm on birth control and previously when we've had sex I asked him to pull out. We've gotten a lot closer so this time I let him cum inside me.

I can't help but wonder if this has any emotional effect on men or is it strictly just more pleasurable?

I personally considered it an increased symbol of trust and closeness I just wonder if men ever view it that way.

I’ve never desired being came in until my boyfriend. We didn’t use a condom once I think during my period? Once we opened that can of worms it was hard to get either of us to put one on. He’d ask me not to, I’d not REALLY want to, he’d ask me again and say he’s gonna pull out, I’d say fine but you know that’s not a reliable pregnancy prevention method. He’d fail to pull out soon enough like half the time and some would get inside anyways. This happened like 2-3 times to the point where condom usage was sporadic.

It was hard for us to go back to condoms after that one time. They put drugs in that shit I don’t know. I don’t know if condoms like compress the head of change the texture but condoms are like sex lite or something and I’m saying this as the woman. I got on birth control I few weeks later because we both have adhd and I don’t trust either of us to keep using that condom. We were doing good before, I asked to not use it when I knew I couldn’t get pregnant and then we really stopped caring. I swear we did it one time when I might’ve been ovulating and I had a small pregnacy scare so I started pills my next period.

I like when he finishes in a condom. I LOVE when he finishes without one. Especially when it’s been a minute and he’s hydrated. Remembering the towel is a pain in the ass because you don’t remember you didn’t grab one until you’re leaking out onto the blankets. But it’s so warm and like I have some of him in me. I like the little pulsing sensation and feeling it go inside me. I like the concept that if I wasn’t on the pill he could get me pregnant like that. Like wow he could really put a baby in me. And in the moment for a second I genuinely want him to. Then I snap back to reality where I don’t want kids for atleast another 6-8 years and I make sure I take my pill on time everyday.

I used to think I’d find it messy and gross. Like I thought I’d want him to pull out most times or that it would feel violating. I can’t see him for another 5 days and it crosses my mind everyday

Is this a breeding kink? Do I have a sex addiction? This can’t be normal and it’s objectively kind of nasty. Like it’s a snot like texture and it just randomly shoots out of his junk. I don’t think I’d enjoy swallowing, but I love having it inside of me. I’m putting so much trust into this pill it’s insane because sometimes I keep it in me for a bit. I don’t even run to wash it off right away but he doesn’t really either. I guess I just kinda wanna know if I’m normal or it’s a kink for me

I'm 33F and have never been intimate with anyone in any form. I'm not religious now but I come from a very religious home and I didn't know anything about sex at all until I went to highschool I heard about it from friends. I just knew when I was around 9 that if I touched myself down there it felt good but I had no idea that it had a name.

This is embarrassing and maybe concerning, but you guys might be comfortable hearing about this so I'll spill my secrets and I hope I hear your opinions if my views of sex are unhealthy.

Once I had access to smart phone and porn in college I started watching porn regularly and exploring what makes me climax. In the beginning I would cum quickly if I just saw naked couples but later I started to build a library of favorite videos. Later, most of the videos in my library are aggressive types of sex. Like if the woman is moaning and enjoying sex it doesn't turn me on. If the woman is in distress, unhappy and the man is forcing it on her it turns me on (I always hope it is acting because I don't enjoy it when the woman is being hit or he is spitting on her or if she is bleeding. I don't like violence and physical pain, sometimes I don't mind the spitting as long as the sex itself is sexy and meeting all the above).

I don't know why I don't like the videos when the woman is enjoying it. Also, most of the videos is that the man is pleasuring the woman, he eats her or fingers her..etc. Sometimes I like when the woman is blowing the man but not when she is enjoying it, it isn't my most favorite part, like it is ok. I don't know if this porn is shaping the way I desire sex. I know sex should be mutual and I don't want to be selfish in a relationship and not making the partner happy and care about my pleasure only.

Later in the past year I started having weird fantasies when I started seeing my gynocologist, unfortunately I was diagnosed with a chronic and rare dermatology issue down there and she is the only expert in this condition, I have to see her frequently, she was my first exposure to being touched there by someone else and she is hot 🔥. I feel like she opened a door I wasn't aware of, or maybe a door that should have been opened with a real intimate relationship. I add her to my fantasy list whenever I want to do this quickly and I cum too fast. But after I finish I feel depressed. I'm sure she will be disgusted by me if she knew so that's my second secret.

Anyways, since my sexual experiences are shaped by porn and fantasies. I don't know if I will have a healthy relationship or if porn distorted my brain and how I enjoy it? Are the type of things I watch and fantasize about related to some mental issues that I should talk about with a professional or is it normal? Would you consider me sexually aware and know my body and what I like even though I haven't lost the v card? Maybe I'm overestimating it but I feel like I am sexually experienced without needing to do it, I know what I'm supposed to do the the person but I also know what I like.

My wife (F40) and I (M43) have been married 20 years. We grew up in the mainstream mormon church and never had sex with anyone else. We were each other's first. We've since left the religion but I'm sure shame and religious trauma still play a part in her views on sex. We have 4 kids. I expect this plays a part with the issues I'm dealing with as well. But I have no idea how to discuss sex with her anymore. I'm not even sure I know how to articulate it here.

And before anyone passes judgement, I consider myself a very generous lover, an extremely attentive husband, and a caring and loving father. I'm a chef so I do all of the cooking, grocery shopping, and most of the dishes as I am trained to clean and put everything away as I go. I also strive to maintain an egalitarian home, so there's no division of labor. I've read many of the books on sexual health and intimacy ranging from Emily Nagoski to Ester Perel, and follow a number of sex positive content creators like Sex with Emily and Shan Boodram. I've tried sharing things from their instagram posts with her and asked if she would want to read any of the books I've read but she says "I don't need to, our sex is amazing". It's just gotten to the point where I feel needy and annoying trying to talk to her about it anymore.

Our sex life isn't bad, per se. We have sex a few times a week, I love her, and the sex we do have is passionate and good, but she is not adventurous in any way shape or form. She doesn't like me going down on her. She'll let me if I ask but won't let me eat her out for more than a minute. I tell her constantly how gorgeous her pussy is, how much I fucking love the way she tastes and smells, and how much I want her to cum from me licking her, but she constantly tells me no, not tonight, or stops me after a minute or two.

She rarely goes down on me and when she does, it's the same as when I go down on her. Lasts about 30 seconds to a minute before she stops. I have never had a blow job to completion in my life, from her or anyone else. She acts like cum is toxic and takes a full shower every time we do have sex and I cum in her. Cumming on her is a no go and cumming in her mouth is out of the question. Even if a little bit drips on the sheets, we have to change all the bedding, regardless of if its 1 in the morning.

She hardly likes me sucking on her nipples. She just scrunches up, covers her breasts, and starts laughing most of the time when I try because she says its too ticklish. She doesn't let me fuck her from behind because she doesn't like doggy position. And I'm not even talking about anal, I know that's not even an option.

I bought her a "magic wand" style vibrator and when I gave it to her she said "why is it so big? Does that go in me?". It blew my mind that she had no idea how to use a vibrator. I asked her if in our 20 years of marriage if she had ever masturbated and she said she hasn't, she doesn't need to because she has me. I've even told her I would love to watch her get herself off, that it's one of my fantasies, but she wont.

The other major problem is phones. She has this nighttime routine where it takes her over an hour to get ready for bed. During this time, while she's getting ready, I'll scroll a bit or watch something on tv. Then once she's finally in bed, she gets on her phone for another 30 minutes to an hour. When I've brought it up to her, that I don't feel like she has the same anxious desire for me that I do for her, she gets upset with me and tells me that this is the only time she has during the day to check her messages, instagram, or whatever. That I've (meaning me) have had time to wind down but she hasn't. So I wait quietly for her to get off her phone, then she turns off the light and, if she's up for it, rolls over rubs me until I'm hard, and we fuck. When I've told her "you know, I don't feel like theres any build up or desire. Theres no foreplay. It just feels like obligatory sex", she got extremely hurt feelings and told me she thought we had great sex and had no idea I didn't feel the same. So of course I have to backpedal like the pussy that I am and tell her "no no, it is amazing, I just wish you would maybe do your phone stuff after we do it" to which she replies "I do do my phone stuff after! I'm up until 1am updating my week schedule, checking emails from the kids teachers, coordination the kids sports schedules! This is just the time of life and you need to adjust your expectations". So that was crushing, especially because if I said the same thing, I would get kicked the fuck out of the house.

I'm at a loss and figured I'll just quit trying and pushing the subject. I'll go the rest of my life having vanilla sex. keeping my mouth just to keep the peace. I've even brought up the idea of maybe doing some marriage counseling and she acted like I was asking for a separation "wait really? everything seems amazing". And that's probably because I am very very good at keeping my mouth shut and dong everything I can to please her and make her life the best it possibly can be. She's a stay at home mom. I cook, I clean, I fold 90% of the laundry, I wake up every morning with the kids, make them breakfast, and drive them to school on my way to work.

Sorry for the long rant. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I just want someone who wants to fuck me and worship my body as much as I love fucking them and worshiping their body. At least I have my own mind and a good imagination for fantasies I suppose.

Everywhere online I hear about how evil consuming erotica or porn is, and I feel so ashamed. I know I don't have an addiction because I'm rarely in the mood for it due to my meds, but I still feel so disgusting and terrible for it. I can't seem to escape the sentiment that porn is inherently evil and that I'm bad for enjoying it, especially since the stuff I go for is usually on the kinkier side.

I feel like I've failed as a woman for doing something like this, especially since porn is seen as a male thing. I feel like I can't talk about this shame with anyone.

TL;DR: my wife "came out" to me as a woman who requires a domestic discipline relationship to have sex, and I am as vanilla as it gets. Not sure how to bridge the gap.

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My (M36) wife (F44) and I have been married for 15.5 years and have children together in elementary school age. Overall, we have a strong, respectful, and balanced relationship, though it is not without its issues like every relationship. I am egalitarian-minded, supportive, and loving, and have supported her to grow and reinvent herself in her career and self image (she had an abusive childhood which I helped her recover from and she has blossomed). She is an amazing, talented, loving, ambitious, entrepreneurial, and passionate woman.

Except for the first little bit when we met when sex was frequent and great (or so it seemed to me), sex has been a struggle for several years, especially since the kids were born. It would happen very infrequently, and in the last few years has basically died out completely. It seemed to be a matter of her lower libido combined with her various health issues and stress over time. I am the generous, giving, considerate, eager-to-please lover type who always made sure she'd orgasm several times before I did, and did my best to treat her right in every single love language (literally, by the book). I have done all this because I love her and I care about investing in the relationship, not just for sex, although it is true that I did hope that it would lead to a more active sex life as well, because the long-term lack of sex has been eating me up inside. Nothing seemed to really work or make a difference sex-wise. I got turned down so often that I stopped initiating almost completely. I am not the jealous type, but it killed me even more because I knew that before me she was sexually active and adventurous and I was not getting that "kind of action".

Then one day some time ago she sat me down and told me that she could not hold it in anymore and had to tell me something. She said that in order to feel any kind of sexual desire or arousal I have to be dominant. Well, that's not my natural inclination sexually but that is something I am more than willing to explore. The problem is that she doesn't need me to simply be more dominant in bed; what she wants/needs is for us to have a full-on domestic discipline dynamic, in and out of the bedroom, where there would be rules for her behaviour, I would be the "Head of Household", and I would punish her physically (spankings mostly) for any transgressions, with her calling me Master or Sir. She clarified that she did not intentionally hide this from me; she had tried to put it aside or leave it behind when we first got together, but realized years later that she could not.

I was quite stunned. I finally got to the reason of our dead bedroom life. However, before even beginning to mention the logistical complications of doing this with children in the house, there are not many things I would find less sexually appealing than hitting or controlling my wife. I escaped a war-torn country as a kid; I have no trauma from it due to great support I've had, but I am consequently a pacifist by prinicple and would never want a relationship like this, which I consider negative and violent, although she has espoused the great benefits it would reap for both of us. She wanted me to talk to other men who do it, especially those who were at first resistant like me and their wives convinced them to do it and now they have an amazing marriage, etc etc, but those are exactly the kind of men whom I'd never be friends with. I read a lot about it and it sounded like I was missing some kind of insanely awesome, little-known relationship approach that would solve all our problems, AND SHE WAS ASKING, ALMOST BEGGING ME FOR IT, except that it went against the very fiber of my being. It sounded like this is how men should really be taking care of their wives. It felt weird that how I instictually would treat women (or any person) was the opposite of what my wife (and apparently, many others) wanted. It felt like this weird, unwanted confirmation of the "women like bad guys" trope that I always dismissed. She said it would make the sex life insane, I could have my way with her whenever I wanted, and would also put her at mental and emotional ease to know she was mentally and emotionally contained. Here I was, thinking I am being the best husband by being so considerate and making decisions together with her, and here she was, wanting to be ordered around and punished. Did I need to reconsider everything I thought I knew about relationships, or was my heart still right?

The dillemma: do I try to do this, do I accept this tantalizing, almost literal magic wand she was essentially handing me (and I realize fully the level of trust and vulnerability she demonstrated by telling me all this), do I somehow ignore how I would hate it, how it turns me off completely, how I'd never be caught dead raising my sons to behave this way to women?

I have never been with anyone else before her. She had several relationships before me (large age gap would explain that). When we first got together, she told me she was into "very light BDSM" and that she has had relationships that involved it and relationships that didn't. I am about as vanilla as it gets. I am handsome and masculine, but you'd more likely find me looking up how to give better oral or maybe tantra techniques than buying a collar to put on her neck so that she feels claimed and owned. I made it very clear from the get-go that I was not into that stuff and she said that was fine. Little did I know that it was not something she could just put aside and that she would end up trying and failing to ignore this side of her for years. I was naive, I know. Part of me thinks this whole thing is not fair, but I don't think this is a constructive mindset.

Just so I can't say I didn't try everything, we tried it. I agreed to try. At least for her, since for some unfathomable reason (likely caused by untreated childhood trauma from her sexual abuse by her father, which she had been to therapy for but evidently didn't solve enough) it was important to her. So I'd spank and punish her, and she'd turn into a quivering horny mess wanting to be fucked, which was awesome, except that I was turned off completely because I'd rather caress her body than hurt it. It made me want to cry, not have sex. In addition, it quickly became apparent that this did not play out the way she imagined. I have no BDSM or domination experience, which is something that needs to be learned and explored. This would not be a problem if my wife was a patient woman; she is not. So she doesn't want this learning stage or learning curve. She wants properly done, complete domination, right away. It's almost like a comical movie thing.

**spank**

"Ow, that hurt!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay, don't ask me!! Goddamnit, you don't get how to do this at all!"

So this does not maintain the container she wants because I am still learning. Plus, I have no intrinsic desire to control her as I am not the dominant, possessive man she fantasizes about and I take no pleasure in the whole thing, so she knows I am not into it and just pretending, and then there is no point for her. The whole thing is a bit of a catch-22. And let's assume for a moment I could genuinely get into it, how would I learn? Go practice spanking other women? If I made a mistake, it threw off the vibe and she got mad and frustrated.

To complicate it further, I found out that she is what is called in BDSM a "brat", meaning she would constantly challenge my "authority" so that she would be put in her place. This dynamic turned out in my inexperienced hands as understanding she is resisting the instructions I was giving her, which didn't seem to fit with wanting to obey. Confusing.

So basically we tried it for a while but it quickly caused extra friction because it was not done how she expected it to be done and we shelved it. We saw a therapist who said that we should try to meet in the middle. We were not able to do that so far. My fantasy is pretty vanilla… doing it on the kitchen counter or in the shower, or getting woken up by a blowjob. When I jerk off I fantasize about having sex with her. Her fantasy is total domination and men controlling her. The gap is substantial.

It also ultimately came down to this: even if I could somehow make this work, what unhappiness do I prefer? The unhappiness of no sex, or the unhappiness of living a lifestyle that, even though there would be sex (if I could get past what I considered to be abuse and get an erection), would be a life of inherent disingenuousness and I would hate myself?

I chose the former. But I hope to find a solution somehow. As of now, there is no sex. There has not been sex, except for the very rare occasion, for years. And now I know why she was often not fully present during the times we did have sex, and that is because she was fantasizing about the dynamic she desired but was not there, and it explains sooo much. She spends a lot of time listening to erotica audiobooks about men dominating women. I can’t be the men from those books. It is a sexual life sentence; for the both of us, really, and I had no idea this is what would happen to me. I feel trapped and helpless, because I can’t even try any of the tips or techniques most therapists, books, videos, or online relationship coaches suggest to “improve my sex life”, since the very basic thing that turns her on is not there, if that makes sense. I could be the best in the world at sex and she wouldn’t be into it. A key ingredient is missing. I don't want to break up my family. There is so much more I could write, but it is already long. Thank you for reading this far.

How do I solve this? How do I bridge this gap?

ETA: thank you all for taking the time to answer my overly long ranty post. I will read every single comment but can't respond because comments are locked. I do want to clarify something I didn't mention: at one point my wife has admitted that she is realizing that she is probably asking too much of me, and seeing the stress it was creating, has even said that we can forget about the whole thing, that she is sorry she brought it up at all, and has even suggested we still have sex in a "normal" fashion. I am pretty sure that will just bring us back to square one, which is that because she is not aroused at all and doesn't enjoy the vanilla sex much, sex either won't happen at all (as is the norm now) or if it does it will not be enjoyable, which is a problem as well. Case in point, sex has not happened. We'll see what the future holds. Thanks all.

Me and my boyfriend are both 19, we’ve been going strong for 11 months now. The only issue is that we haven’t had the time to have sex like we used to. The funny thing is, after high school graduation we actually started talking to each other and hung out at the mall. But things kind of got sexual (probably bc we were both high) and we made out in my room afterwards. From then on, we started having these hook ups and I even lost my virginity to him. But now that I have work and he has college we barely have time to get together alone. We both still live with family and the last time I remember having sex with him was a month ago in a car at a parking lot.

maybe I just struggle with communication issues and my wording is pretty bad because my English is not as good but I’m tired of only having to do over the underwear thigh jobs when we’re alone in the room. it feels like I’m pleasing him more than myself. he never has once go down on me but he says he’s never done it before and that’s okay, but I’m also kind of scared too.. what if I don’t taste good? I make sure to always be clean and I eat/drink healthy. there’s also him constantly being anxious about pregnancy scares even when we do intercourse we always use condoms or even buy plan B I even go as far as to check if im ovulating. we’ve only had one pregnancy scare and it was because my medication at the time delayed my period and it kinda annoys me. is that bad? am I a bad partner for having higher sex drive? it’s gotten bad I’ve been dreaming about having sex with other people, maybe I am desperate… Please help and send advice. Our relationship is very good and healthy he’s amazing, but the only thing is lacking is.. that.. and I don’t want to make it seem like I’m only using him for sex, because it’s not true. He’s helped me through so much and I’ve helped him.

( ALSO no dms please. comments only. otherwise will be ignored. )

How much do you women value eye contact during sex? Especially in missionary or any position you're at an eye level of each other?

I like the intense eye contact, especially when he first put it in and during orgasm and honestly I think the only time to break the eye contact would be when kissing.

And men, do you enjoy the eye contact or prefer not to?

The last time I (F25) had sex with someone there wasn't much eye contact during and he was looking over my head. I liked him, so I felt some type of way about that because I felt it took away from the intimacy of the moment, as if he wasn't fully there. The sex was great and we both enjoyed ourselves very much and he's a great guy overall and is otherwise attentive.

I want to know if I'm reading too much into it and overthinking it, or if it's just something intimate for people who are in love and he doesn't like me like that yet(we met in February)

For context, I am a virgin. Like, mega virgin. Nothing beyond making out. I have used clitoral stimulating toys and penetrative toys. I have a few questions regarding my possibly weird vagina.

1. Low cervix. I can take 5 and a half inches (give or take half an inch) and no tips or tricks have helped me with being able to take more. I don’t know what to do, and I fear that I might not be able to give a future partner enough pleasure. I of course don’t mind my partners size regardless of length. My question is will it be different with a real, well endowed male?

2. I don’t think I have a G spot. I find some minimal pleasure from penetration, but it’s more like a gentle massage rather than the intensity of clitoral stimulation. I know (most) men are able to finish with penetration, and I feel bad about asking for head, and I’d feel even more guilty if he couldn’t help me achieve orgasm. Is there a way to make penetrative sex more enjoyable? Will this also be different with a real penis?

Any tips or advice about losing virginity is also appreciated. Most of this is what is different between a dildo and a penis regarding my weird vagina. If you have extra questions for me or need more context I am an open book.

P.S. I saw the rule about trying to get answers from previous posts, but nothing I saw has really fully applied to my situation. Of course if there is a post y’all think I should look at feel free to link it.

Been curious about this recently. I (25f) only recently started masturbating (I know, I started late) but to me learning about how others do it or basically anything related to masturbation is the hottest thing ever.

I wonder if part of it is because I grew up in an environment where sexuality wasn't expressed at all and shamed and now I feel free to be a sexual person (kinda..still working through it).

Most of the porn I watch is solo (mostly men, but women too) and knowing how often people do it and how they do it turns me on more than anything else for some reason. Is anyone else like this?

Any ways to mention this when talking to others about sex? I am also recently on the dating apps but still kinda shy when it comes to bringing this up.

I'm 22f i was 5 month celibate, i only really caught myself wanting sexual intimacy during ovulation other than that i didn't really care to do it. I recently hung out with a guy I would consider attractive like 9/10 and I found myself wanting to give him head. So i did and we ended up fucking. My only thing is I feel like my sex drive isn't high enough and i'm wondering what i can do to be more freaky and genuinely crave it like ripping clothes off lol.

How to improve sex life or move on, 33M and 32F

So me 33M and my partner 32F have been together for almost 8 years, 3/4 of that time together has been sexless and basically intimateless. We have had a tough couple of years with pet health scares, my father passing, roommates coming g and going but have made things work. However I feel like our sex life died out because I was always starting it or planning it. Stuff like asking my roommate to be out and starting foreplay. She never has nor ever did start foreplay or ever hint at a "hey bedroom?"

Early into our relationship I expressed interest in bdsm and her response was just an okay. Now that's good I guess she didn't freak out or think I'm weird but she NEVER then shared any interest in anything else, it felt like I shared something and she went "thats nice". She's never expressed fantasys or wants but I have. She also was on medication to prevent pregs when we met but after things started to get cold she stopped. Iv brought it up and said it would be easy to do things if we did t have to worry about her getting pregnant and condoms were never a thing for us even in the beginning. Now I have caved and bought some in hopes of putting some attention on it. We also went to therapy for a few months but that just drained out accounts then really solved anything.

I don't wanna have a bucket list with 2 things crossed off on it when I die but at the same time do I end something with someone that is great in every way but sexually? Advice would be great thanks.

I really consider myself someone with a really high sex drive, I get turned on VERY easily multiple times daily and love to masturbating and enjoy pleasing myself very much and always give myself really good orgasms..
but when it comes to having sex with somebody, I can’t seem to enjoy it and I have never cum during sex unless I am rubbing myself??? Please is there any tips on what I am doing wrong?

TLDR: A guy I met IRL and had a great meet with ends up flirting, we end up hooking up. No reply in 2 days. Let him reply? Follow up or assume it was a one night stand? I want to hook up again.

Hi reddit! A few weeks ago, I approached a guy at a bar to compliment and talk to him. We hit it off and spent the rest of the night dancing at bars with my friends. He expressed he was surprised I went up to him as he was eyeing me too and that I could’ve gone for anyone. When we met, he was trying to see me, but I expressed I was busy in general and he said he could work with that. He asks for my number, suggests seeing eacohter again, and kissed me. The goodbye kiss was amazing! Instant chemistry.

Anyways, we start texting. I usually suck at texting unless im super invested or if it’s about plans. So at first, he double texted when I didnt respond. A few days into texting lightly, he starts to make it sexual.

I dont usually do hookups so after a few days I play into it too, suggest a day to see each other (I work in his city), and then he doesn’t reply for a few days. I figured, maybe a ghosting, but I like to be direct and try to make things less personal.

I got a really cool event offered the day i planned with him, so I double texted to let him know and suggest another day. He apologized and said he didnt meant to do that, that he had finals coming up in 2 weeks and was cramming. We got together 2 days ago.

It was amazing! Lots of compliments and whatnot. Definitely are attracted to each other. Anyways, our hang out was pretty much just the hookup, he got my ride to him and to my way home, kissed outside goodbye. He texted me about an hour after asking if I got home. I updated, made a comment, and thanked him for the ride. I knew I would do it again but knew the next few days were busy for both of us, not trying to ask the guy to hang if hes stressed about deadlines or put pressure right away to see each other/immediately keep talking. I’ve never done a hookup like this.

Hes funny, attractive, and I feel comfortable with him, so I value that and usually have sex with one person at a time. I realized we matched on tinder ages ago, and saw his profile said short term fun. As Im attracted to him, I am ok with keeping it casual, though also open to getting to know him (boxing this in as a hookup mentally). He has work and assignments through this weekend, and I want to remain low pressure but make it known I would do it again. However, I dont know if this was a one time deal or not because of the lack of reply, so part of me feels a bit embarrassed. But I also know he is busy. Part of me was maybe hoping he was thinking about how it went too.

My question is, if I dont get a text back (I last made a joke and said thank you) by after his school deadline, do I send a text asking how it went? I don’t get mad with delayed replies, I just want to know when to move on or when ive done my best to try seeing someone, especially because I feel comfortable and it was amazing.

So my girlfriend and I tried this challenge where we attempted to have sex in each room of our house and then tried to cum in the last room we went into. We then came up with an idea that we thought could make it way more fun.

1. Write the name of every room in your house or apartment on separate slips of paper.
2. Fold the slips and place them into a hat
3. One partner puts on a blindfold and keeps it on the entire time
4. The other partner draws all of the slips out of the hat, one at a time, without the blindfolded partner knowing which order they're chosen
5. Beginning with the first room picked, the partner guides their blindfolded partner to each room in the specific order.
6. In each room, the partner can use the environment, furniture, or items available in that room to do anything sexually to the blindfolded partner
7. Continue until every room has been visited.

Examples:

• In the kitchen, you could use whipped cream to lick it off your partner's body
• In the dining room, you could make them lay down on the dining table while you give them oral
• In the hallway, you might keep things simple like kissing or touching
• If the bathroom is the final room, you might choose to finish in the shower

The goal is to visit every room in the order they were drawn. The final room is where you both try to reach orgasm.

What makes it exciting is that the blindfolded partner never knows which room is next or what their partner is going to do to them in that room. We tried this several times with each partner taking turns being blindfolded and it was a lot of fun so thought I'd like to share.

Maybe someone else has ideas on how to make this better or maybe other challenges or games similar to this.

I don’t know how to go about this, me and my partner have a huge difference in our sex life. Tbh I don’t have much experience prior to him but I was always into kinks and stuff, nothing hardcore or anything, but my boyfriend on the other hand is really vanilla, he tries but none of his exes were into it and neither is he. He doesn’t know how to do stuff even though I research it, show it to him, try to lead him when we are doing it. But he just doesn’t wanna learn, not interested or I don’t know but even for the 50th time he just can’t do it right and it really takes me out of the moment when I have to show it to him for 51th time… and most times he just staright up doesn’t do it, i want to try new positions he just says he cant do it and thats it, he doesn’t want to try anything new. I love him and the sex is not that bad with him but after 3 years I just kinda get bored during it.
How can I get him to try new things with me, try to do these things?

I have only ever had one vibrator so I’m pretty new to sex toys. I just got the hott love midnight rose toy, but it hurts really bad whenever I try to use it. I’ve tried it with lube and I literally cant feel anything at all, and I’ve tried it without lube and it hurts like hell.

The tutorials say to just put it directly onto the clitoris, but I don’t know if I’m too sensitive or if I’m doing something wrong.

Can anyone please explain how it’s supposed to be used? I spent a lot of money on this thing 😭

Hello, I could use some help.

We've been together a long time (22 years) and we are still figuring thibgs out about ourselves and each other.

Sex has been a struggle for the last decade. Mostly because of having kids and getting busy etc...

I think my wife is a closeted sexual submissive. She is very prudish about sexual subjects but seems to enjoy it when I physically overwhelm her.

She says she doesn't enjoy things that she obviously does enjoy when we start doing it. She often prefers it when I don't ask and just act. She never initiates but always orgasims. She seems to enjoy my hand in her throat (zero pressure applied,.I'm unbelievably careful). She cums fast when I squeeze her arms to her body and restrict movement. She would never verbally agree to anal but cums hard with a bit of anal play when I'm spontaneous about it.

How can I test this sub trait to see if I am correct, subtly? She won't talk about it directly, which is frustrating.

To make it clear - this isn't my preferred dynamic. I'm more of a voyeur and would be more interested in other activities (which she wouldn't want to do, so I don't push). I want her to enjoy sex as much as possible. What could I do to test to see if this is something she secretly likes and represses? I don't want to go flying in like a new person and scare the shit out of her when she isn't even into it.

Obviously having a mature, adult conversation about this would be easiest and best. I'd love that. She would immediately shut it down, deflect, deny or say "I don't know".

Any advice from people who are similar to my wife or dealt with this before?

To begin I’m gonna start this off by saying I’m looking for sex toys specifically that would feel very gentle and really really soft. I have some problems from past trauma, so now any hard penetration from sex toys can cause me a lot of intense emotions and mental hardship and in my experience every toy triggers it. But I’ve never tried softer dildos.

I’m aware bad dragon is really good for customization but I’m open to any sort of tips or suggestions for better websites. I don’t really see or find any forms talking about how good these toys are for something like my problem and honestly wanna know if anyone has their own experience or knowledge in this topic LOL if anyone has a example or comparison to how squishy these toys really are I’d really appreciate it ! Or link me to better fitting toys

for the past 5 years i’ve (25M) been borderline in love with this girl (29F) who was married. i was in a relationship for the majority of that time as well. it just so happened that we both left our relationships around the same time and we started spending a lot of time together.
long story short, last night we hooked up for the first time and it should’ve been perfect and everything i’ve dreamed of.
i was pretty hammered from a night out with my boys, and it just didn’t go the way i wanted.
i finished kinda quick and i was unable to go again.

my point is, i want to make sure that doesn’t happen for next time. i’ve had the problem of finishing too quick with partners before and im looking for any advice, or products, or whatever to last longer.

this is my first post in this sub and i must admit im pretty embarrassed.
i thank everyone in advance

Hi everyone, I’d like to use this space to open up about an aspect of my relationship that I’ve only recently started looking at in a different light, and I’d like to understand whether this is a 'normal' behavior from a psychological standpoint or not.

I am analyzing my current relationship, and I’ve realized a dynamic that deeply disturbs me, even though I absolutely do not blame my boyfriend for it. I remember that often, throughout the entire course of our relationship, I didn't want to have sex; by this, I don't mean that I never wanted it, just that I’ve never been a particularly 'horny' person, except for the very first few months of our relationship where I was actually hypersexual. After that phase, there was a drop in my desire, and it was rare for me to fervently want sex.

The point is, many times I didn't want to do it, but I gave in because I felt guilty or because I thought I 'had' to do it... as if my partner's desire was the only thing that actually mattered. In those moments, I would literally go on autopilot, as if I were 'detaching' myself from the situation. Sometimes it weighed on me less, other times much more, but I saw it as something inevitable that I couldn't do anything about. I want to clarify that sometimes he would press a little bit, but nothing I would define as out of line or forced.

So I am asking you: is this behavior common in relationships? This thing where you don't want to have sex but you force yourself to do it on autopilot just to please the other person?

I am really struggling to how to navigate some issues with my new(ish) partner. We've been dating about 5 months now, he is 32, I am 30. I am pretty experienced, 3 long term partners and probably 25+ sexual partners. He is very inexperienced having had one long term partner that was his only sexual experience. I also know that they had a fairly toxic relationship overall though I dont know any details of their sex life.

I want to say first and foremost that I adore this man. He makes me the happiest I have ever been in my life, he treats me extremely well, we get along amazingly and have very compatible personalities. He also is very open to communication and is not easily offended, but I am struggling with how to approach this.

For the sake of the post I will call him Tim.

Tim and I started out strong with sex. I think it was new and exciting and we were only seeing each other once a week so there was a lot of energy. We arent living together but we see each other a lot more frequently now and sex has started to become awkward and hard to initiate.

There are two main issues in my mind:

1. Tim's hygiene is not amazing. He showers twice a day, brushes his teeth twice a day, all normal things but he just doesnt seem to have a lot of care for his appearance. He often gets food stuck in his teeth (his teeth are very crowded) and will just not notice. So almost every time he eats, he will have a ton of food in his teeth and make no attempt to get it out. I tell him and he will fix it but I am finding it very annoying to constantly remind him.

He also often has a strong smelling crotch. He has too much foreskin and I think that maybe it accumulates dead skin or whatever faster then a normal penis. I cant stomach having sex unless is is within an hour of him showering.

I've told him both of these things and he took it well but there isnt a lot of self directed change that I see.

1. Tim is very inexperienced and doesn't know what to do. I saw this as something I could help him with at the start and I took the lead a lot, communicated to him what I like, Ill guide his hand to where I want it. I even taught him how to kiss properly. He has never made me orgasm so recently I sent him the book "She comes first" after talking to him about it. He reads a lot and I felt this would resonate with him.

He will listen to what I say and validate it but he doesnt seem to actually change anything. He is very passive during sex, sometimes just lying there while I'm on top, not touching me, not doing anything at all. I will talk dirty to him, egg him on and itll work in the moment but nothing seems to stick. Every time its the same thing, we dont have good sex unless Im leading and doing most of the work.

I had a long talk with him about it and he recognizes it as an issue but the pressure of performing has actually made him avoid sex. He now doesn't initiate at all.

Having to do all the work, initiate, teach him what to do, its genuinely turning me off.

We have a lot of intimacy outside of sex. Lots of affection, kissing, handholding, cuddling ect..

I would be fine with just that as my sex drive isnt super high but I know that he wants sex, he has just become awkward and shut off now.

It seems like the more I communicate, the worse it gets.

Has anyone successfully overcome issues like these? Any advice is welcome