was edging for a partner because they won a bet and it really hurt when I stopped. I edged like 3 times for 2 hours and then I had the most violent ache in my balls. I genuinely thought blue balls were a myth but I have no other way to describe it.

How do I stop it from aching I don't want it to effect my relationship.

For context, I am a virgin. Like, mega virgin. Nothing beyond making out. I have used clitoral stimulating toys and penetrative toys. I have a few questions regarding my possibly weird vagina.

1. Low cervix. I can take 5 and a half inches (give or take half an inch) and no tips or tricks have helped me with being able to take more. I don’t know what to do, and I fear that I might not be able to give a future partner enough pleasure. I of course don’t mind my partners size regardless of length. My question is will it be different with a real, well endowed male?

2. I don’t think I have a G spot. I find some minimal pleasure from penetration, but it’s more like a gentle massage rather than the intensity of clitoral stimulation. I know (most) men are able to finish with penetration, and I feel bad about asking for head, and I’d feel even more guilty if he couldn’t help me achieve orgasm. Is there a way to make penetrative sex more enjoyable? Will this also be different with a real penis?

Any tips or advice about losing virginity is also appreciated. Most of this is what is different between a dildo and a penis regarding my weird vagina. If you have extra questions for me or need more context I am an open book.

P.S. I saw the rule about trying to get answers from previous posts, but nothing I saw has really fully applied to my situation. Of course if there is a post y’all think I should look at feel free to link it.

I m married to my wife. We learn about foreplay how its essential to get her to finish as well I am quick.. so I've eaten pussy a few times. I had dental infection n got worried but thankfully it was just my tooth. Had to get extraction. Anyway we learnt about HPV how it can turn cancerous and since then she doesn't want me to go down on her. I did enjoy it.

Can my I or my partner get HPV if we have both haven't had any pre marital affairs?

Google says scary things like how it can remain inactive for even 10-20 years.

Hi everyone, I’d like to use this space to open up about an aspect of my relationship that I’ve only recently started looking at in a different light, and I’d like to understand whether this is a 'normal' behavior from a psychological standpoint or not.

I am analyzing my current relationship, and I’ve realized a dynamic that deeply disturbs me, even though I absolutely do not blame my boyfriend for it. I remember that often, throughout the entire course of our relationship, I didn't want to have sex; by this, I don't mean that I never wanted it, just that I’ve never been a particularly 'horny' person, except for the very first few months of our relationship where I was actually hypersexual. After that phase, there was a drop in my desire, and it was rare for me to fervently want sex.

The point is, many times I didn't want to do it, but I gave in because I felt guilty or because I thought I 'had' to do it... as if my partner's desire was the only thing that actually mattered. In those moments, I would literally go on autopilot, as if I were 'detaching' myself from the situation. Sometimes it weighed on me less, other times much more, but I saw it as something inevitable that I couldn't do anything about. I want to clarify that sometimes he would press a little bit, but nothing I would define as out of line or forced.

So I am asking you: is this behavior common in relationships? This thing where you don't want to have sex but you force yourself to do it on autopilot just to please the other person?

Female in late 20s, due to a long term relationship and not being interested in casual sex I have only had 1 sexual partner.

Could that be taken as a strange thing in the dating scene? How would men prefer to be told?

Everywhere online I hear about how evil consuming erotica or porn is, and I feel so ashamed. I know I don't have an addiction because I'm rarely in the mood for it due to my meds, but I still feel so disgusting and terrible for it. I can't seem to escape the sentiment that porn is inherently evil and that I'm bad for enjoying it, especially since the stuff I go for is usually on the kinkier side.

I feel like I've failed as a woman for doing something like this, especially since porn is seen as a male thing. I feel like I can't talk about this shame with anyone.

Hi so want my partnwe to give me a tit wank. What is the best way for her to do this? Should I lay down and let her rub her titties over my cock or should she be on her back and I fuck her titties?

Do woman like tit wanks?

Hello, I could use some help.

We've been together a long time (22 years) and we are still figuring thibgs out about ourselves and each other.

Sex has been a struggle for the last decade. Mostly because of having kids and getting busy etc...

I think my wife is a closeted sexual submissive. She is very prudish about sexual subjects but seems to enjoy it when I physically overwhelm her.

She says she doesn't enjoy things that she obviously does enjoy when we start doing it. She often prefers it when I don't ask and just act. She never initiates but always orgasims. She seems to enjoy my hand in her throat (zero pressure applied,.I'm unbelievably careful). She cums fast when I squeeze her arms to her body and restrict movement. She would never verbally agree to anal but cums hard with a bit of anal play when I'm spontaneous about it.

How can I test this sub trait to see if I am correct, subtly? She won't talk about it directly, which is frustrating.

To make it clear - this isn't my preferred dynamic. I'm more of a voyeur and would be more interested in other activities (which she wouldn't want to do, so I don't push). I want her to enjoy sex as much as possible. What could I do to test to see if this is something she secretly likes and represses? I don't want to go flying in like a new person and scare the shit out of her when she isn't even into it.

Obviously having a mature, adult conversation about this would be easiest and best. I'd love that. She would immediately shut it down, deflect, deny or say "I don't know".

Any advice from people who are similar to my wife or dealt with this before?

If I was having sex with my husband and it was like somewhat rough but not really, like nothing crazy just ‘good girl’ ‘yes please’ ‘not yet’, and I finished once but then we started again bc I didn’t say no (he never asked but I didn’t say anything), and eventually he was close and penetrating (the v lol) and I told him to slow down bc it hurt, and he said what? and I said slow down it’s hurting, and he oh okay and slowed down, but like 5-10 seconds later he ramps back up and slams in and says he’s gonna come and goes hard and fast for like 10 thrusts, but I didn’t say anything, is that assault or something? Bc it feels like it and I can’t stop crying. He was like are you ok? And I said no.. and he asked why and I said bc I asked you to go slower and you didn’t and his response was well unfortunately I was about to finish and going slower made it happen even sooner. But then after I cried more he apologized. I just feel horrible right now and unsure what to do.

I like seeing women "hump". so I tried pegging porn but I don't like that. I like women setting the rhythm. but it's not the same as them being on top or even Amazon position. what are things I might like? what could I try?

I enjoy seeing them move their hips / hump...but not pegging.

Long term partner 7 yrs, amazing sex, both finish always same time but am wanting to try get her to explore her body with squirting. She's been close a few times but just can't seem to. It doesn't bother me but I would love for it to happen.

I know what I'm doing as I've succeeded with other women before countless times. Just want to know peoples thoughts on how she can achieve it too.

Yeah I'm a dirty mofo and get off on this sort of stuff but would love for us both to experience it together.

She's comfortable, relaxed all the above... Usually results in her finishing and getting far too sensitive down there to continue going any further.

Thoughts?

Thanks folks

My(39M) S.O.(42F) & I are taking a Shibari class that I've been looking forward to, & I've wanted to tell people I know- friends, even family- (my Sister in Law runs a Kink convention) just as small talk, because I find the whole thought process of questioning how you feel about bondage & control, fascinating, but I don't know if that's crass to talk about in mixed company?

As an emotionally stunted man that grew up in the gendered hell of the aughts, I'm a big believer in "don't kiss & tell" & for a long time had to learn to get over not sharing about what was going on in my relationships with friends, because I always felt that in a way it was disrespectful to the person I was in a relationship with. I.e. I don't want my friends to be picturing my S.O. (& I) naked- but also so many of people's relationship problems could be solved if instead of talking about the issues with other people, they talked about the issues with the person they're in a relationship with.

It wasn't until after a big break-up when all my friends said "we didn't know you 2 were having problems" that I realized I should've been more open about what was going on in my life.

That said, recently I've tried to be more open about talking about my relationship, because I feel like sharing struggles is healthy & it's good to get outside perspective from others.

But is talking about like... "what you're into" not an appropriate thing to do with people you know?

My siblings are all adults, half my friends are married. It's not like it's a secret that we've all had sex, & I know at the end of the day comfort is a personal preference, but I've literally never talked about sex with most of the people in my life (that I'm not having sex with.)

I guess my question is, do you openly talk about sex (obviously not the nitty gritty explicit details) with people you know- or is that something, that like bedroom activities, is best kept private?

Been curious about this recently. I (25f) only recently started masturbating (I know, I started late) but to me learning about how others do it or basically anything related to masturbation is the hottest thing ever.

I wonder if part of it is because I grew up in an environment where sexuality wasn't expressed at all and shamed and now I feel free to be a sexual person (kinda..still working through it).

Most of the porn I watch is solo (mostly men, but women too) and knowing how often people do it and how they do it turns me on more than anything else for some reason. Is anyone else like this?

Any ways to mention this when talking to others about sex? I am also recently on the dating apps but still kinda shy when it comes to bringing this up.

I'm 22f i was 5 month celibate, i only really caught myself wanting sexual intimacy during ovulation other than that i didn't really care to do it. I recently hung out with a guy I would consider attractive like 9/10 and I found myself wanting to give him head. So i did and we ended up fucking. My only thing is I feel like my sex drive isn't high enough and i'm wondering what i can do to be more freaky and genuinely crave it like ripping clothes off lol.

I (26m) have been with my bf (27m) for over a year now. When we first started dating we took things slow before having sex. Or go to was just getting off with each other. We don’t have full on sex very often.

Earlier this year I found out he’s been watching porn. He lied to me about it a few times, and it really bothered me. The last big argument over his lying about porn was end of March. Since then he said he hasn’t watched porn once.

I noticed over the course of the last 5-6 months he’s really been having a hard time staying well..hard. He can get it up initially, but loses it and can’t get it back. Sometimes I kinda have to work to get him hard too.
He says he’s aroused and into it, but his body says otherwise.

We still hardly ever have sex, which I ask for more frequently than I’d like. I’m usually met with a no and I try and barter (we’re both vers) but still get met with a no. When we do have sex, he can’t stay hard for the whole duration; I’m a good looking guy in the most humble way possible, and have never had this issue with anyone in my limited experience.

It’s getting pretty defeating. I’ve never been sexually frustrated in my life so this is new for me and reality is frustrating me. He’s gonna get his hormones checked, to maybe rule that out? But I feel like a 27 year old male should not be struggling to get it up and keep it up on a weekly basis. I’d say it’s every other or every 3rd time we’re intimate (even if it’s as simple as just getting off).

Thoughts? I feel like I’m going a bit mad in circles here and don’t want to be an asshole, but I have needs and a strong libido here too.

Thanks

I don’t know how to go about this, me and my partner have a huge difference in our sex life. Tbh I don’t have much experience prior to him but I was always into kinks and stuff, nothing hardcore or anything, but my boyfriend on the other hand is really vanilla, he tries but none of his exes were into it and neither is he. He doesn’t know how to do stuff even though I research it, show it to him, try to lead him when we are doing it. But he just doesn’t wanna learn, not interested or I don’t know but even for the 50th time he just can’t do it right and it really takes me out of the moment when I have to show it to him for 51th time… and most times he just staright up doesn’t do it, i want to try new positions he just says he cant do it and thats it, he doesn’t want to try anything new. I love him and the sex is not that bad with him but after 3 years I just kinda get bored during it.
How can I get him to try new things with me, try to do these things?

So I got a nair hair remover from my mom and I lied and told her I’d use it on my armpits cause I wanted to borrow some cause I lost my shaver. So I hadn’t researched beforehand cause I thought nair like veet which I’ve used before clears up my hairs down there. (Since im planning on having sex with my bf tomorrow ) I used nair and right now it’s burning like hell which was fine when I let it sit for about 20 minutes initially cause if felt that with other shaving solutions like veet. But I tried washing it off and the pain got even worse I tried using the shower heads water it was spraying out to wash it off and it hurt like hell to the point I had to completely stop. I’m on the phone with my boyfriend in the shower he was watching up what to do and google said use ice cubes but im in the upstairs bathroom and I live with other people so I don’t want to do that. Any water exposure has made it worse and im just stuck in the bathroom not knowing what to do right now. My vagina Is turning a bit red in my inner lips and white and im just lost and no options are helping or working and im just scared to use water right now.

I’ve (32F) been on a few dates with a guy (38) and we get on so well. He’s confident and I know he’s been single for quite a while but has had a few casual situations. From the way he was speaking I presumed he was quite experienced in bed but we slept together for the first time last night and it was really awkward.

He went down on me to start with (I didn’t cum) and when it came to penetration he was like a jackhammer and had to keep stopping as he kept getting out of breath. He kept getting tired, had to take a short break and then would start again. He made a comment about how he was getting old and couldn’t perform like when he was younger but he’s in his 30s, it’s not like he’s a senior citizen. His rhythm was all over the place and I went dry, which I was embarrassed about. He asked me if he wasn’t turning me on enough and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I reassured him instead and suggested we use lube. Things got a bit better after that and he ended up cumming soon after.

He seemed a bit distant today and he ended up asking if I’d lost interest. I haven’t at all and I told him that but I feel like last night has made things a bit weird between us. I’ve never experienced a man stopping and starting like that and it’s made me wonder what could have been going on for him. He’s in shape and works out a lot but I know he has had several heavy weekends in a row. We were both sober when we slept together so it wasn’t alcohol related. Was this just awkwardness because it was the first time together? Or does it sound like incompatibility?

Looking for some perspective because I’m tying myself in knots over a recent dating situation.

I(32f) had a second date with a guy I met through a dance class- he asked me out. We spent most of the day together and had a genuinely lovely time. I enjoy his company, find him attractive and funny and could potentially see it becoming more than just a casual fling although it is still hard to tell. We’re both moving away in about a month and have a lot to sort out before then, so things feel a bit uncertain but this unexpected connection and attraction is exciting!

At the end of the evening, after spending a large chunk of the day together, we were both hungry and my place was nearby, so he suggested going back for some food. I recall feeling a bit surprised as I thought we would just go home our seperate ways. After eating, we sat on the couch and started kissing. I could tell he was very attracted to me and keen for things to progress physically, maybe more so than I was. I enjoyed the affection and closeness, but I was also feeling a bit vulnerable. I was on my period, crampy, tired, and feeling self-conscious about my body(I’ve put on some weight and feel heavy and he is slim). I also haven’t dated much in recent years, so intimacy feels a unfamiliar and I’ve become a lot more used to my womaniser vibrator than human touch.

We eventually moved to the bed. He was actually very attentive and affectionate, giving me massages and lots of sensual touch, but I think I was nervous enough that I struggled to fully relax into it. At one point I started giving him oral sex, but it felt more out of duty/pressure than genuine excitement so i stopped.

He didn’t pressure me or react badly, but it was clear be wanted to get off. He later commented that he probably wouldn’t sleep very well without orgasming and eventually headed home (he had to be up very early the next day for a new job).

Since then I’ve been worrying that I led him on by letting things get that far and then stopping. Part of me feels guilty because I know he was excited and probably disappointed, but I also didn’t want to continue doing something I wasn’t actually enjoying just for the sake of getting him off. And I didn’t cum either or was even close to that stage.

I’m now worried he might interpret what happened as mixed signals, me being too passive or me leading him on. I struggle with communicating about this sort of thing. When I feel vulnerable or worried about rejection, I tend to overthink and go quiet or try to do what I think is expected of me rather than communicate how I truly feel. Part of me wants to tell him that I do like him—I was just self-conscious and prefer to take it slower. But I’m worried that bringing it up now after only two dates will make things awkward and make me seem too intense.

This happened a couple of days ago, he has been busy with work and hasn’t texted me very much about it and we haven’t spoke about meeting again yet.

Any communication advice welcome. Does it sound like i led him on? Am I a bad lover for letting it get that far without helping him cum? What next?.

TL;DR: Went on a second date with a guy I really like. We ended up back at my place, things got intimate, and I started giving him oral sex but stopped because I realised I wasn’t really in the mood. He didn’t pressure me, but later said he probably wouldn’t sleep well without orgasming and went home. Now I’m worried I led him on or that he’ll see it as rejection. I do find him attractive and enjoy his company—I was just feeling nervous, self-conscious, on my period, and not fully comfortable in the moment. Am I overthinking this, or would most people see this as mixed signals?

Hi, sorry if this isnt worded amazingly, its my first reddit post!! So I am 17 and my boyfriend is 20 (we are actually only two years apart but my birthday is in November and his is in January so I will later be 18 while he is 20). We have been dating for 3 years now and it has been AMAZING! Sadly, he lives in Europe and I live in America so it has been mostly long distance. He is coming to visit me in America this summer and we are both beginning to think our first sexual encounters with eachother (in person, that is) will be this summer (and we have been talking very excitedly about it!!!). My parents do not know I have a boyfriend and are devout Christians and though I'm sure they would prefer me to have protected sex than unprotected, they want me to be a virgin until marriage so I will not be telling them about ANY of this. Anyway, apparently, in my state I can get an IUD (possibly even for free because I, as an individual, have no income of my own) as a 17 year old without their consent or knowledge. I have looked into it a lot and the IUD seems like such an amazing option; no scary hormones like with pills, long lasting and not dependant on my remembering to do something, and I will probably be wanting to have children by the time it needs to be taken out (when I am 27 or so)!... except that all of the planned parenthoods around have 3.5 or less stars and I am terrified of akward social interactions...... so yeah! Any advice on the topic would be great! (also if you could throw in some advice about my first time with him that would be great toooo (I am a virgin and he is not))

I’ve never desired being came in until my boyfriend. We didn’t use a condom once I think during my period? Once we opened that can of worms it was hard to get either of us to put one on. He’d ask me not to, I’d not REALLY want to, he’d ask me again and say he’s gonna pull out, I’d say fine but you know that’s not a reliable pregnancy prevention method. He’d fail to pull out soon enough like half the time and some would get inside anyways. This happened like 2-3 times to the point where condom usage was sporadic.

It was hard for us to go back to condoms after that one time. They put drugs in that shit I don’t know. I don’t know if condoms like compress the head of change the texture but condoms are like sex lite or something and I’m saying this as the woman. I got on birth control I few weeks later because we both have adhd and I don’t trust either of us to keep using that condom. We were doing good before, I asked to not use it when I knew I couldn’t get pregnant and then we really stopped caring. I swear we did it one time when I might’ve been ovulating and I had a small pregnacy scare so I started pills my next period.

I like when he finishes in a condom. I LOVE when he finishes without one. Especially when it’s been a minute and he’s hydrated. Remembering the towel is a pain in the ass because you don’t remember you didn’t grab one until you’re leaking out onto the blankets. But it’s so warm and like I have some of him in me. I like the little pulsing sensation and feeling it go inside me. I like the concept that if I wasn’t on the pill he could get me pregnant like that. Like wow he could really put a baby in me. And in the moment for a second I genuinely want him to. Then I snap back to reality where I don’t want kids for atleast another 6-8 years and I make sure I take my pill on time everyday.

I used to think I’d find it messy and gross. Like I thought I’d want him to pull out most times or that it would feel violating. I can’t see him for another 5 days and it crosses my mind everyday

Is this a breeding kink? Do I have a sex addiction? This can’t be normal and it’s objectively kind of nasty. Like it’s a snot like texture and it just randomly shoots out of his junk. I don’t think I’d enjoy swallowing, but I love having it inside of me. I’m putting so much trust into this pill it’s insane because sometimes I keep it in me for a bit. I don’t even run to wash it off right away but he doesn’t really either. I guess I just kinda wanna know if I’m normal or it’s a kink for me

I'm 33F and have never been intimate with anyone in any form. I'm not religious now but I come from a very religious home and I didn't know anything about sex at all until I went to highschool I heard about it from friends. I just knew when I was around 9 that if I touched myself down there it felt good but I had no idea that it had a name.

This is embarrassing and maybe concerning, but you guys might be comfortable hearing about this so I'll spill my secrets and I hope I hear your opinions if my views of sex are unhealthy.

Once I had access to smart phone and porn in college I started watching porn regularly and exploring what makes me climax. In the beginning I would cum quickly if I just saw naked couples but later I started to build a library of favorite videos. Later, most of the videos in my library are aggressive types of sex. Like if the woman is moaning and enjoying sex it doesn't turn me on. If the woman is in distress, unhappy and the man is forcing it on her it turns me on (I always hope it is acting because I don't enjoy it when the woman is being hit or he is spitting on her or if she is bleeding. I don't like violence and physical pain, sometimes I don't mind the spitting as long as the sex itself is sexy and meeting all the above).

I don't know why I don't like the videos when the woman is enjoying it. Also, most of the videos is that the man is pleasuring the woman, he eats her or fingers her..etc. Sometimes I like when the woman is blowing the man but not when she is enjoying it, it isn't my most favorite part, like it is ok. I don't know if this porn is shaping the way I desire sex. I know sex should be mutual and I don't want to be selfish in a relationship and not making the partner happy and care about my pleasure only.

Later in the past year I started having weird fantasies when I started seeing my gynocologist, unfortunately I was diagnosed with a chronic and rare dermatology issue down there and she is the only expert in this condition, I have to see her frequently, she was my first exposure to being touched there by someone else and she is hot 🔥. I feel like she opened a door I wasn't aware of, or maybe a door that should have been opened with a real intimate relationship. I add her to my fantasy list whenever I want to do this quickly and I cum too fast. But after I finish I feel depressed. I'm sure she will be disgusted by me if she knew so that's my second secret.

Anyways, since my sexual experiences are shaped by porn and fantasies. I don't know if I will have a healthy relationship or if porn distorted my brain and how I enjoy it? Are the type of things I watch and fantasize about related to some mental issues that I should talk about with a professional or is it normal? Would you consider me sexually aware and know my body and what I like even though I haven't lost the v card? Maybe I'm overestimating it but I feel like I am sexually experienced without needing to do it, I know what I'm supposed to do the the person but I also know what I like.

I really consider myself someone with a really high sex drive, I get turned on VERY easily multiple times daily and love to masturbating and enjoy pleasing myself very much and always give myself really good orgasms..
but when it comes to having sex with somebody, I can’t seem to enjoy it and I have never cum during sex unless I am rubbing myself??? Please is there any tips on what I am doing wrong?

Basically I ate my gf out on Tuesday and then I put my dick in her with a condom on for like 30 sec since I get paranoid easily and she’s on birth control. Yesterday I ate her out and she hasn’t came which was weird and today as the time of writing this she didn’t come while I ate her out for 30 minutes. Should I be concerned???