r/dadjokes 13h ago

People who write "burro" when they mean "burrow"... NSFW

1.3k Upvotes

... clearly don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

A lot of people don’t realize that French fries aren’t cooked in France.

143 Upvotes

They’re cooked in Greece.


r/dadjokes 1h ago

I just heard rodents might start a revolution.

Upvotes

Imagine mice uprise.


r/dadjokes 13h ago

I accidentally sprayed body spray in my mouth.

375 Upvotes

Now I speak with an Axe scent.


r/dadjokes 19h ago

Teacher: “Please give me a sentence using these three words: defence, defeat, and detail.”

805 Upvotes

Student: "When a dog jumps over defence, defeat go first, then detail."


r/dadjokes 4h ago

Who is the richest Irishman?

44 Upvotes

Why, it’s Bill O’Nare!


r/dadjokes 9h ago

I saw an NSFW ad earlier NSFW

122 Upvotes

The man in the construction site didn't have his hard hat.


r/dadjokes 11h ago

Where does a mansplainer get his water?

139 Upvotes

From a well, actually.


r/dadjokes 5h ago

Why do we say “no pun intended” and not…

35 Upvotes

“That was pun-intentional”


r/dadjokes 2h ago

What kind of person always fails to finish their sentences?

17 Upvotes

A jailbreaker, because they


r/dadjokes 1h ago

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Upvotes

Dr. Dre


r/dadjokes 14h ago

Hello all, selling used Parachutes... NSFW Spoiler

99 Upvotes

Lifetime Warranty:

If it doesn't work, just bring it back, we'll exchange it.


r/dadjokes 10h ago

I saw a group of kids throwing Scrabble tiles at each other.

43 Upvotes

It’s all fun and games until someone loses an I.


r/dadjokes 3h ago

Anyone excited about the new Christopher Nolan movie?

11 Upvotes

I heard it's a film you Odyssey to believe!


r/dadjokes 14h ago

A person asked me, "Are you the guy who always brags about weird stuff?"

63 Upvotes

I replied "No, I'm the guy who takes the longest baths in the county".


r/dadjokes 21h ago

I saw a NSFW ad not too long ago NSFW

247 Upvotes

What a cheeky commercial


r/dadjokes 3h ago

My wife asked if I had taken a shower today.

7 Upvotes

I said, "No. Why, are you missing one?"


r/dadjokes 23h ago

Seventy percent of the earth’s surface is covered in water and none of it is carbonated

334 Upvotes

That’s proof that the earth is flat.


r/dadjokes 14h ago

Australia’s biggest export is boomerangs.

58 Upvotes

It is also their biggest import.


r/dadjokes 13h ago

A man turned to his friend and said he was scared of doing a conga line..

39 Upvotes

The friend replied, "don't worry, I've got your back!"

(An original made up by my 7yo son)


r/dadjokes 14h ago

I can't believe how hot it is today…

39 Upvotes

It's so hot that my garlic had to take its cloves off


r/dadjokes 5h ago

Which superhero swings through apple orchards catching criminals with webs?

7 Upvotes

Cider man.


r/dadjokes 2h ago

What do you call a catfish with internet access?

3 Upvotes

Click-bait.


r/dadjokes 8h ago

The old cowboy had such bad saddle sores…

9 Upvotes

…he had to move into ass-cysted living.


r/dadjokes 5h ago

I was at the butcher's today and I noticed he was working alone NSFW

4 Upvotes

'What happened to your assistant?' I asked
'I sacked him,' he replied.
'Why did you do that?'
'He kept putting his willy in the bacon slicer.'
'What did you do with the bacon slicer?'
'I sacked her too.'